Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Then he said to them, "Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." - Nehemiah 8:10
The second fruit of the Spirit listed in Paul's letter to the Galatians is joy. We know we're abiding in the Holy Spirit if we're experiencing a level of joy that simply doesn't make sense in our lives. Joy isn't exactly happiness. We can still have joy even when we're dealing with something that's incredibly intense or painful. So if joy isn't the same thing as happiness, then what is it? The Greek word for "joy" in Galatians also means exhilaration, glee, gladness, and elation. Joy, especially joy rooted in the Lord, is not so much a sense of happiness at life around you. It's a deep exhilaration and gladness that resides within your soul, so intense that nothing that occurs in the messiness of life can shake that security of your identity. This week, John and Zach unpack the idea of joy and how it can impact your mentoring relationship.
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
The second fruit of the Spirit listed in Paul's letter to the Galatians is joy. We know we're abiding in the Holy Spirit if we're experiencing a level of joy that simply doesn't make sense in our lives. Joy isn't exactly happiness. We can still have joy even when we're dealing with something that's incredibly intense or painful. So if joy isn't the same thing as happiness, then what is it? The Greek word for "joy" in Galatians also means exhilaration, glee, gladness, and elation. Joy, especially joy rooted in the Lord, is not so much a sense of happiness at life around you. It's a deep exhilaration and gladness that resides within your soul, so intense that nothing that occurs in the messiness of life can shake that security of your identity. This week, John and Zach unpack the idea of joy and how it can impact your mentoring relationship.
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators & Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:Hey, mentors. Just a reminder about the You Can Mentor book. It's titled You Can Mentor, How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses. The whole point of this book is to equip and encourage mentors with new tools and ideas on how to make the most of their mentor mentee relationship. If you're a mentor, hey, go pick it up.
Speaker 2:And if you're a mentoring organization, pick some up for all of your mentors. If you would like to order mass copies, like more than 20, send an email to me, zach@youcanmentor.com, and we will get you guys a special price. But go and pick up that book. It's good. You can mentor.
Speaker 3:Welcome to You Can Mentor. Hey, Zach.
Speaker 2:Hi, John. I love your intro voice. You have the best intro voice.
Speaker 3:I want it to be
Speaker 2:welcoming. It's very welcoming. Thank you. It's great. But then
Speaker 3:it but then it changes.
Speaker 2:I feel welcomed by your tone. Good. It's a great tone. You're a very welcoming guy, John.
Speaker 3:Man, thank you.
Speaker 2:You're welcome. So, podcast listeners, how the heck are you? Zack here, my man John. Today, we're talking about I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. Where?
Speaker 2:Down in my heart. Mhmm. Down in my heart. That's all I'm gonna say.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:Joy. We're talking about joy.
Speaker 3:Do you know the I got joy down in my heart deep, deep down in my heart? J o y down in my heart. Deep, deep down in my heart. Jesus put it there, and nothing can destroy it, destroy it, destroy it. Who?
Speaker 3:Do you know that one?
Speaker 2:What was that last
Speaker 3:time? Different one. It's well, you do like a chop, like a like a like a martial arts
Speaker 2:Uh-huh. Chop. What is it about Vacation Bible School hand movements?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:There's a lot of hand movements.
Speaker 3:Kinetic. I get it because I well, let me tell you this. It's I think that every worship experience in church with music should involve movement as well, don't you? Because you remember it better, and you're kind of engaged more.
Speaker 2:You are. Yeah. Yeah. You are. New concept for me.
Speaker 2:I'll I'll I'll chew on that one.
Speaker 3:It would be a little weird. Let's be honest. It would be a little strange, though.
Speaker 2:Yeah. But maybe you're on some.
Speaker 3:Okay. Yeah. Because the fast songs, you know, you do you do, like, really fast motions.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like father Abraham?
Speaker 3:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Father Abraham had many sons.
Speaker 3:We're 4 minutes into this. Oh, man.
Speaker 2:Alright. Let's talk about joy.
Speaker 3:Let's do it, man. So joy, the state of being. Right? We always I I feel like if you were to say, oh, look. Pastor Brimley is gonna gonna preach over joy today.
Speaker 3:Don't you think that within the first few moments of that sermon, what's he gonna say? That it is not Circumstantial. Yeah. Or or not happiness. Right?
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. It's always like, hey, everybody. Just right off the bat, I want you to know, I'm not talking about happiness this morning. I'm talking about joy. K.
Speaker 3:But I still think that's valuable. We need to remember that.
Speaker 2:But shouldn't you be a little happy if you have joy?
Speaker 3:I believe that joy creates a happiness Okay. And a contentment. Yes.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:However, I think it also is important to know that that the presence of joy is not about it's not led by circumstance. In fact, I think that the presence of joy is often tested by the lack of optimal circumstances.
Speaker 2:Okay. So, John, so tell me why You Can Mentor, the podcast that equips and encourages mentors, is doing a podcast on joy. What do we want our mentors to know about joy, and what do we want our mentees to know about joy?
Speaker 3:Well, are we gonna go right there, right now? Straight up?
Speaker 2:I mean, just high, high level 10,000 foot view.
Speaker 3:Got you. Well, this is the beautiful thing about what God is doing in the hearts of his children is he is manifesting his very presence and his very nature and character in us. And so I think that it's important that we have a proper understanding of of what the joy of the Lord really is so that we can live by it, so that we can practice it, and then we can encourage our mentees in their daily life to do the same.
Speaker 2:It's awesome. I love it. And, you know, a couple weeks back in our first installment of this series, we talked about love. And I think I don't know if he said the fruits of the spirit in a specific order, but I do feel like I mean, love is probably the most important. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:But joy, right after it. Because if your life, if your actions, if your words, if your nonverbals, of how you carry yourself are not greatly impacted by your relationship with Jesus, then I think you might be missing something. And what an incredible joy. Wow, I didn't even mean to do that. What an incredible opportunity for us as mentors to cultivate that, hey, when you follow Jesus, things change.
Speaker 2:And the things that once got you down, well, they don't have to get you down anymore. And that's why we're talking about joy.
Speaker 3:100%. So scripturally speaking, we're gonna think about Paul. Alright? And I think that it's really interesting to think about okay. So let me get this grasp on joy and really kind of a deeper understanding so that I can practice it.
Speaker 3:Right? So Paul writing to the Philippians, that's kind of the theme of that book, many of us know, is joy because he repeats over and over, rejoice, rejoice, I say. Right? Again, I say rejoice. So that repetition shows that it's important.
Speaker 3:We think about Paul being imprisoned at that time, and he's writing about joy. He's actually his circumstances are the least ideal, and he's writing to a people reminding them to have joy. So this is kind of our right off the bat, that reminder of, oh, man. It's to be nurtured and and cultivated in our hearts. And we can speak joy, and we can motivate others to to feel it and to be living by it even in the midst of our own struggle and less than optimal circumstances.
Speaker 2:And I just love that verse. Is it is it Nehemiah or is it Nahum? I don't know. But, the joy of the Lord is my strength. And I think that that verse says says a lot, but whenever you can have joy despite circumstances, and whenever you cannot let the worries and the anxieties and the fears of this world impact how you carry yourself, how you perceive the world, how you treat other people, like, that is true strength.
Speaker 2:Like, there is nothing that can take away your smile when you are 100% full of joy that comes only from the Lord, and that's powerful.
Speaker 3:No kidding. So a couple of things that joy is not. So joy is not this kinda you know, I don't know when you're growing up, Zach, kind of that that Sunday morning kind of in the lobby, you know, before church when everyone's getting there and
Speaker 2:Hey, buckaroo.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You know? Hey. Just kinda surface. You know?
Speaker 3:And everyone's happy to see each other, of course. And how are you? And the answer
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. I love your dress. Fine. Yes. You look so handsome.
Speaker 3:Fine. Everything's good.
Speaker 2:Lots of smiles.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You know? And maybe in the in in on the drive there, you know, the family was just at war. Right? But when you get there, it's like, okay.
Speaker 3:Listen, everybody.
Speaker 2:If you don't put a smile on your face, I swear.
Speaker 3:So joy joy is not like, okay. I'm at the house of the Lord. Now I have to act like everything's fine when it's not. Joy, you know, as as we say, it's it does not wear a fake smile. It's not about being dishonest about circumstances.
Speaker 3:You can be at your wits end. You can be struggling. You can be very emotional and still have joy. I mean, you can be honest about that. It's not pretending like nothing is wrong when things are very wrong.
Speaker 3:So that's that's a good thing to remember. And we're gonna talk a little bit about that, especially during your mentee mentor time when you might go into that time when maybe you're feeling not great. But we're not saying that joy is this switch that we, you know, that we flip when we're kind of amongst the brethren, and we have to act like everything is great.
Speaker 2:The brethren. What a great I'm gonna start calling you that. This is John, my brethren.
Speaker 3:I would I would love that.
Speaker 2:I'm sure you would. Yeah. So, yeah, it's for sure not suppressing your emotions and pretending like everything's fine. That that is not healthy. Joy is joy is more of a state of being.
Speaker 2:It's an overflow of your soul, of your heart, instead of, like, trying to produce, like, trying to, like, you trying to strive to be something that you're not.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. And joy is not a kuna matata. Right?
Speaker 2:What a wonderful phrase.
Speaker 3:It's not that. It's not this idea of, oh, but you know what? You know, I'm free and, like, I'm I'm just not gonna even worry about I'm not gonna even worry about those things now. I'm just gonna it's not escapism. Right?
Speaker 3:Joy is not escapism. It is casting our burdens onto onto the Lord, but it's also understanding that we're in process. You know? Maybe we're struggling with something. Maybe we really just have a prayer concern that we're that we're in that process of praying for on a daily basis.
Speaker 3:So it is not that, oh, let me just remember that I can just not worry about this. And if I not worry about it, it will go away. That's not how issues are dealt with. Mhmm. So but I think as you mentioned, it is it is a state of being within the the context of of struggle.
Speaker 3:So J. I.
Speaker 2:Packer, do
Speaker 3:you have you got time for a J. I. Packer quote?
Speaker 2:Do I? Of course.
Speaker 3:Well, he he states that joy covers the entire spectrum of what may be called the rapturous, ranging ranging from the extreme ache of ecstasy to the quiet thrill of contentment. Man, how about those words?
Speaker 2:I don't even know what that means. There are
Speaker 3:a lot of 3 and 4 syllable words there.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Joy's I think that's what's so crazy is joy joy can look very different. Like, when I'm hanging out with all of my good friends, and we're laughing, and, you know, there's joy there. But whenever I am on a on a walk with the Lord and it's just us, there's joy there too. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Both look radically different, but it's essentially the same thing.
Speaker 3:So what's interesting is, you know, hope, which I always kinda say this, that that the believer is kind of characterized as being a person of hope and prayer. Hope and understanding that we are people that are looking forward to the coming Christ. Right? That he will come again. We are people of prayer, so we are tied in.
Speaker 3:We're we're locked into the lord just on a moment by moment basis. We're we're we're told to pray unceasingly. But hope is not a fruit of the spirit, which is interesting. Right? Because hope is really important and valuable.
Speaker 3:But here's what I think is really interesting is that joy is so tied to hope. Right? Why do you have joy? How can you and I have joy in the midst of struggle? Because we have hope in Christ.
Speaker 3:Right? So we have this manifestation of God's joy in our hearts based on the fact that we are living as people of hope.
Speaker 2:And I also think, John, so much of walking in joy, of having joy despite circumstances no matter what, and walking in that hope is is found in faith that no matter what's going on in your life, that you have something to look forward to. And that you know that you know that you know that everything's gonna be okay because you have a father in heaven who loves you and is for you and is working all things for your good.
Speaker 3:You got it. So again, back to Paul, Philippians 44. Right? Rejoice, he says. Rejoice in the Lord always.
Speaker 3:Again, I say rejoice. So rejoice is to practice joy, and it's a commandment. He's really saying, everyone, listen to me. You need to be doing this. You need to be rejoicing because it is to practice joy.
Speaker 3:It is to yield to the lord. It's to be impacted by him to the extent that our words and our actions are determined by him.
Speaker 2:And I think one thing that's that's awesome about that, John, you know, to rejoice is to practice joy. I don't think I've ever really thought about that. And you don't practice something that comes natural to you. Like, I don't have to go outside and say, Hey, John, I'm gonna go practice walking. No.
Speaker 2:I just walk. But I do have to practice things that don't come naturally, like my golf swing or my, you know, a jump shot. Mhmm. And so what that's telling us is, 1, we have to intentionally cultivate how walking out in joy looks like to you individually. And you actually have to practice that, and you have to figure out how to go against the flesh and to walk in the spirit because that's the only way that you're going to walk in joy.
Speaker 2:It is the fruit of the spirit. So you have to be filled with the holy spirit. You have to be walking with the lord in order to have true joy despite circumstances. That's really hard to do. I think one thing that you put down on our paper is what are the main joyce dealers in life?
Speaker 2:And like, I know that the 2 of us know some people that are going through some, just some hard stuff. Like, I was talking to one of my friends last night, and his kid has cancer. And like, you guys have heard me talk about Steve. Steve has ALS. Like that's a joyce dealer.
Speaker 2:You know, people experiencing financial hardships, people growing up in adverse circumstances. Like it is really hard to have hope and faith and joy whenever those are the things that are happening. And so but the thing that's so crazy about these people that I just mentioned is you would never know that they're going through adverse circumstances based on how they speak, based on their non verbals. Because anytime I'm with them, I experience the joy of the Lord. They're laughing.
Speaker 2:They're smiling. They are making eye contact with me. They're happy to see me. I mean, I would never know that they're going through some of the hardest things that
Speaker 3:I can ever imagine just based on being with them. Dude, that's pretty amazing because what I think about that then is to say that the most joyful are those who are living less reactionary and more just really proactively in their lives. Right? They're they're living their days with intentionality and having relationship that way as well. They understand that even though they're struggling with some very difficult things and even relying on the Lord, may maybe even crying out to him for him to heal, for him to do good things in their lives, Yet you wouldn't you wouldn't even know it because you see such a peace over them, and you see maybe even that they're about you.
Speaker 3:Right? That they can and you're thinking, man, how can this person have the margin in order to kind of ask me how I'm doing when they when their life is a storm right now. Right? And yet because they're people of joy, they have an incredible peace about them.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And joy and hope and faith, like, all of that is just they all are connected. And I think it's amazing.
Speaker 3:Well, you asked a good question. Like, what are the joy stealers? And I think that there are some universals, obviously, but there are also some things that are they're pretty specific about our experiences, our in our growing up, our wiring. Right? We have we kinda know what some of our hot buttons are.
Speaker 3:Right? I think we know what some of the things are that we struggle with in our faith that maybe the enemy has an easier time with. And I think that's a really good thing to consider. What are some things that really want to rob that joy from me? And so I can be even more mindful about that.
Speaker 3:Sometimes it's even certain relationships that are just harder than others. And so you just ask for God's grace, and you really kinda have to be patient and continue to to work through that to say, Lord, that that no one and nothing would would affect my joy.
Speaker 2:And one, it's important that us as mentors walk out in joy so that we can give that example to our mentees. But 2, what a great opportunity we have as mentors to help our mentees process what some of the main joy stealers in their life could be. So like maybe you don't deal with anxiety and worry and fear. Maybe it's just, hey, I was just wired differently, and that stuff doesn't bother me. But what if your mentee does?
Speaker 2:And then what a great opportunity for you to enter into their world and to help them identify those areas that rob the joy out of their life and help them deal with that in a godly way. Super cool.
Speaker 3:100%. So there's a time in scripture where Jesus said, I've spoken these words so that my joy would be in you and that your joy would be complete. So what a wonderful thing to consider that our joy would be complete. Right? So often, we kinda feel so very incomplete.
Speaker 3:We kinda focus on what we lack so very often. And so just to know that the heart of God is to say that you would understand that I'm with you and that you would be experiencing completeness, even that that that idea of what perfection really is, perfection is lacking nothing. Right? And so he is forever making making holy those who have been made perfect. So in in essence saying, you guys, you who are in Christ, you've been you're whole.
Speaker 3:Like, you've got you've got what you need because you've got me. Alright? And so don't believe the lie that you're incomplete. And, again, what a wonderful thing for a mentor to know about themselves and then also to be able to communicate to their mentee.
Speaker 2:And I think there's also kind of a challenge here. Like, what would it look like if we, as mentors, were the most joyful people that our mentees experienced? And I don't know about you, but I know a handful of people that whenever I hear their name, I just think joy. Like laughter, I think smiles, I think complete abandonment of themselves and 100% focused on you, engaged, eye contact. Like people who are truly joyful are rare, and they make you feel like the most important person in the entire world.
Speaker 2:And I don't know about you, but people who make me feel that way, who make me feel funny and make me feel smart and ask me a bunch of questions, so it makes me feel cared for and loved and they're smiling and they're engaged, I wanna be around those people. And so, I think one thing that we talked about earlier, John, is if you're coming into your time with your mentee and you are not filled with joy, your mentee is gonna pick up on that. And more time than more times than not, that is going to be used by the enemy to really try to jack up your mentee mentor relationship.
Speaker 3:Absolutely. You made a really good point, which is to say that when we bring our kind of the stuff that we're dealing with into that mentor mentee time together, our mentee is always going to process that as as their lack of something is wrong with them, basically. Right? Like, oh, no. My mentor is not is not doing well right now.
Speaker 3:He's upset. She's she's unhappy. What have I done? You know, like like, what did I say? You know, obviously, that mentee is going to make it about them.
Speaker 3:They're the they're they think that they're the catalyst for that. And and, again, you could be so mindful of something just a 1000 miles away, but they are always going to make it about them. So all the more reason that we kinda have our stuff together, and we've and we're and we are about them. So, Zach, here's the thing. What about our listeners like me who, like, have that resting kind of, like, frown face?
Speaker 3:I mean, do you my wife walks in the room sometimes and she looks at my face and she says she says, what's wrong? And I'm like, oh, nothing. Like, this is, you know because I'm making a face at her.
Speaker 2:This is just how I look.
Speaker 3:Yeah. That's just my face.
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's a tough one, John. That's a tough one. But
Speaker 3:All more reason.
Speaker 2:Someone once said this. They said that your face is a ministry, and I don't know what to do about that. You know, I'm I'm a fairly serious guy myself. I I like to get to business. Uh-huh.
Speaker 2:But I have to, just like what you said earlier, we must practice joy. We must remain in joy. And so I think there is a continuous opportunity for us to practice our face looking joyful. So if you walk in the room and I'm frowning, you're gonna think, oh, Zack's not happy to see me. And inside, I might be like, oh, oh, look, there's John.
Speaker 2:I'm so glad to see him. But people are gonna believe your nonverbals way more than they believe your words, which is crazy. So maybe one thing that I would encourage you with, John
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Maybe when your wife walks in the room, you might wanna smile. Dude. That
Speaker 3:might be a good idea. Really good idea.
Speaker 2:I know. Right?
Speaker 3:Okay. One more thing about walking in the room, and I'll say this too. I wanna back you up on what you're mentioning. And that's so I'm the first one up in the morning. Typically, what happens is I'm sitting in the in the living room.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. I'm either reading a book or I'm looking at my phone. My youngest walks in the room, and here's what I I have to be mindful of on a daily basis that as soon as Evie turns the corner, you know what I'm doing? I'm putting my phone, like, face down next to me, and I'm engaging her 100%. So, again, just to back up what you've mentioned, and you may and and a listener might say, well, of course, you you need to do that.
Speaker 3:But it's not always the easiest thing to do because I can be pretty engaged. You know? Especially if it's like a a in my scroll, you know, it's somebody talking about how LeBron is in fact, you know, better than MJ, and here and here are the reasons why. I'm I'm gonna wanna read that.
Speaker 2:You know? But are you you don't even like sports.
Speaker 3:This is for another time. But for some reason, within my scroll, I have the sportiest, most athletic scroll for whatever reason. I think it's because I watched, you know, The Last Dance. The the Michael so, like, Netflix picked up and was like, okay. We got your number, guy.
Speaker 3:We're gonna we're gonna
Speaker 2:They just have no idea that you like to ride skateboards and wear vans and build stuff.
Speaker 3:100%. They they got me all wrong.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So back to back to joy and mentoring. So I think this is one of the hardest things I know in my life. Having my non verbals actually show what is in my heart. And I think, how does your mentee experience you?
Speaker 2:And being fully engaged, putting your phone away, smiling, laughing, asking them questions, making them feel important, like that is how you're going to walk in the spirit, and that's how you're gonna have joy. Me and my wife were talking last night, and I went to this event, and there was a lot of people there. And my wife asked how I was feeling about going to the event. And I said, you know what? I think I'm going to try to be the most encouraging person in the entire room tonight.
Speaker 2:And she said, oh, yeah? I said, yeah. And then we started talking about The Chosen. If you all listen to this podcast, you know that I like The Chosen, but I think that's what's so crazy about Jesus, is you talk about the fruit of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, self control, faithfulness, all of them.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And Jesus was the best at all of that. And when I think of Jesus, I don't think about a joyful dude. I don't think about, like, us sitting across the table and me feeling so loved and so important and him laughing and him smiling and him just creating this safe, easy environment. I don't think about that. I do think about Jesus being so gentle and kind and kinda speaking softly and, oh, Zach, I just love you so much.
Speaker 2:But I really can't wait to be with Jesus because I wanna experience his joyfulness because I have no idea what that looks like. I have no no idea what that means.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:But I bet when Jesus was with people, whether it's 1 on 1 or in small groups or at a party, I bet everyone wanted to talk to him. Because when you talked to Jesus, you felt like you were the most important person in the entire face of the planet. And what a great opportunity we have to at least make that our aim when we're hanging out with our wives, or our friends, or our kids, or our mentees. Because who doesn't wanna be around that guy? Who doesn't wanna be with that gal?
Speaker 2:So sorry. I just kinda went off. That's it,
Speaker 3:man. That's good stuff.
Speaker 2:But I just think joy, like, especially in today's world of depression and anxiety and fear and go go go go go, like joy and encouragement and hope and faith, like all of those things, but especially joy, which I I kind of link joy with encouragement. Mhmm. Like, who has ever said, I think I'm good on joy. I don't need anymore. Like, yes.
Speaker 2:Do you think you could stop encouraging me? I've kind of had my fill for the day. I just don't think we can get enough, especially when you're dealing with a kid from a hard place. Especially when you're dealing with a kid who all he gets at home is either lack of attention or, you know, maybe screaming, maybe sarcasm. Like, I just think joy is really important.
Speaker 2:Man, for sure. That's all I'm trying to say, John.
Speaker 3:I love it. So okay. Let's jump into mentor keys for joy. Let's do it. First off, we're gonna talk about remember, be honest about our struggles, but we also wanna be prepared enough.
Speaker 3:And that's being prepared in our prayer life to understand that our mentee is going to pick up these nonverbal cues just as much as they're going to be listening to what we're saying to them. So we wanna model that joyfulness to our mentee at all times through just about every minute that we spend we spend with them.
Speaker 2:And surprise, surprise, I'm gonna tie this back to your own personal walk with Jesus. So mentors, if you are you know, if you have maybe found yourself in a season where you're a little bit too busy to spend time with Jesus or things of this world have kind of gotten into the way. That's okay. We still love you. But let John and I encourage you that you can't give what you don't have.
Speaker 2:Get filled up, whatever that looks like, worship, Bible time, going on walks with the Lord, prayer, listening to that new CD by Cademan's Call, Jars of Clay. 3rd day? 3rd day. Pop in that new 3rd day album and get filled up.
Speaker 3:For sure. Take Sabbath. Right?
Speaker 2:Oh, yes. Whenever
Speaker 3:I'm yes. Whenever I talk to, you know, those young youth ministers, I'm like, hey. Look. There are going to be tons of there there are gonna be people lining up to make sure that you are working your 6 days every week, but there are not going to be as many people who come to you and say, hey, are you are you taking your your day off? Take that day off because when you don't, the rest of the week the week struggles from it.
Speaker 3:So Sabbath.
Speaker 2:John, what is a young youth measure to you?
Speaker 3:What's young to you? You know, I'm at the point now
Speaker 2:You're how old are you?
Speaker 3:I don't really I don't really recognize age because I think that that's just a social construct. Oh, okay. No, dude. I turned 50 years old this year. When?
Speaker 3:A 50 year in November. Alright?
Speaker 2:Old man, take a look at my life. I'm a lot like you.
Speaker 3:Man, we need a playlist for this podcast.
Speaker 2:I am singing a lot today.
Speaker 3:The playlist.
Speaker 2:I kinda am. I need some Sorry.
Speaker 3:Can I get keep going with this?
Speaker 2:Sorry. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:Jesus, again, spoke these words so that his joy would be in us and that our joy would be complete. John 15, that we may be lacking nothing. So this is where we we take stock and say, lord, what am I feeling like I'm lacking? What what is not there that needs to be there? And and let that be something that is what the Lord can do as opposed to let me just kind of fill it with with whatever I can.
Speaker 3:Let me just kind of self medicate or whatever. Okay? This doesn't mean kind of just going for the Twinkies because I just need to pick me up. This is, lord, this is something that I've this is of the spiritual nature, and, father, this is something that only you can provide. So let that joy of Christ be in us and let that make us complete so that we can be that much better for our mentee.
Speaker 3:You ready for this last one?
Speaker 2:I mean, you just set the table. I'm gonna let you do it, though.
Speaker 3:The last one is this, you guys. The the mentor key. It's to celebrate good times. Come on. Celebrate.
Speaker 2:I was just saying it.
Speaker 3:I'm not going to. But this is about that rejoicing. Is that you mentioned, man, it's the practice. Right? It's this practice of our of our joy.
Speaker 3:We've got to be peeled people of celebration. And and I don't know. Sometimes I think within the church, maybe we're just not the best at celebrating things.
Speaker 2:God, I'm terrible at celebrating. I am the worst.
Speaker 3:You're not as you're not much of a celebrator.
Speaker 2:What is wrong with me?
Speaker 3:What do you feel like it's too impractical? Sometimes people don't celebrate because they feel like, oh, with all the, you know, the the party streamers or the the the rigmarole. Rigamarole. You know? You just kinda get grumpy.
Speaker 3:Like, you turn into a grumpy old man.
Speaker 2:I'm not grummy. Grummy. I'm not grumpy. I think I'm just too busy.
Speaker 3:You think you're too busy to celebrate?
Speaker 2:I'm just like, oh, we just hit that goal. What's next? But
Speaker 3:you let me ask you this, though. You it's not that you don't celebrate because you're not of that kind of mindset that says, oh, that's like giving a participation award, and that's not something okay. You're not you're not doing that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:No. No. Okay. I I am like, why why celebrate you did what you set out to do?
Speaker 3:Well, that's kinda the same thing. You're saying you are that guy who says don't give a participation award because Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Should I celebrate?
Speaker 2:Yes. I'm for sure that.
Speaker 3:What yours was your job to do anyway? Yeah. Okay. Well, listen.
Speaker 2:I know. I got problems.
Speaker 3:Mentors, I I wanna give you a license. And I and I'll say this too. I think dads just aren't good at it because we do have that that mentality. Celebrate or maybe even ask the question. So the question is, are we celebrating enough?
Speaker 2:And I would say the answer is no.
Speaker 3:No. I don't think we are.
Speaker 2:Because you can't celebrate enough. Right. So my son had this we sent him to this Christian classical school, and they have to memorize like a paragraph for their 2nd grade ancient Egypt project. And my son had this huge project, and my wife was out of town, so it was up to me to get him to know all of his lines. And my son is super sensitive.
Speaker 2:And the project was due Thursday. I, like a good dad, waited till Tuesday night to start it, and he was practicing his lines. And any time he would mess up, I would get on to him. Sounds terrible. And after about doing that for about the 3rd time, he started to cry.
Speaker 2:And I was like, oh, no. What did I do? I'm a jerk. So I decided right then, I said, what if instead of getting on to him every time he does bad, I celebrate him every time he does good? And anytime he got a line right, I would make this face like,
Speaker 3:oh, yeah. Like, yes, CJ. Great job, buddy.
Speaker 2:And I was just like giving him thumbs up, and I was like, yeah. Like, I was encouraging the mess out of him. Mhmm. And what do you know? He learned his lines about a 1000 times faster, and we both had an awesome time doing it.
Speaker 2:And I was like, man, I want this thing for my son. Just like us as mentors, we want these things for our mentees. And I think sometimes criticizing and getting onto them when they don't do it right is gonna get them there. But, really, I think celebrating when they do things right is going to get them there a whole lot faster. And so I would say as mentors, a great practice is to be on the lookout.
Speaker 2:And if there is anything you can celebrate, do it. Mhmm. Because you can't celebrate enough.
Speaker 3:Nothing too small. And then we're talking about practically buy a greeting card. Right? Like, just for no reason at all. Just, hey, you're you're important to me.
Speaker 3:And make them cookies. You know, call your favorite DJ and and dedicate a song to them on the radio.
Speaker 2:Call your favorite teacher. This isn't 1984. No one even listens to the radio anymore.
Speaker 3:I know. That's that's the only thing wrong with this country.
Speaker 2:You are so old.
Speaker 3:But find these little ways, and that's what rejoicing is. I want I want us to just draw that that straight line from celebrating our mentees is a way to to rejoice in a really great way. Yeah. Alright. So what about the mentee's key to joy?
Speaker 3:Well, look. We have this wonderful acronym built in already. J o y, Jesus, others, you. I mean, tell me. That's the key that's the key to life right
Speaker 2:there, isn't it? It's like we bears.
Speaker 3:We we prioritize Christ above and through and in all. And then as as the word says, consider others greater, and then we understand that, oh, man. We are we are children of the Lord. We our spirit testifies with the the spirit of the Lord that we are his children. And so we got we're good.
Speaker 3:Joy. True joy. Focus on Jesus, serving others, and then we can be last because it's okay. Awesome. Hey.
Speaker 3:Let's go back to John 15. Remind our mentees that Jesus desires that they be complete in him, that they lack nothing. And and think about it, you guys. I mean, our mentees, they're walking around on a daily basis worried about the future, always thinking about the the glaring issue of what they lack. Right?
Speaker 3:I mean, the teenage heart is one that is in transition, and so they're they're wondering, are they gonna be okay? Are they accepted? Are they good enough? Are they significant? And so this is when we get to remind them Jesus brings completion.
Speaker 3:He desires that you be complete in him and and that you are and that you're valuable. I mean, that's that's a wonderful reminder that we get out of this joy. You complete me. And finally, how about playing a medical metaphorical game of tee ball, Zach? I've been talking about this this kind of this imagery lately when it comes to interviewing people
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:On the podcast. And what I'll say is I feel like I'm doing my job as a host. If I can play a game of tee ball with you where I set you up for you to at least hit a double. You know what I mean? That's a sports term.
Speaker 2:You're so sporty today.
Speaker 3:I know. But it it means I wanna I wanna set this up for you to be successful. Right? So men so the key that our mentee can pull away from this as well is that we set them up to be successful, that we give them an assignment to serve someone out of joy. So maybe the next time that you're together, if you say, hey.
Speaker 3:I wanted to talk to you a little bit about joy because my friend Zach and John talked about this on this wonderful podcast. And, Hey, I want you to serve somebody this week. And next time when we, when we come back, I want you to share with me kind of how that went and that right there is you giving them an assignment or giving them this idea, and then they're going to going to come back no matter what happens. And we get to celebrate them for what they did. Great.
Speaker 3:Love it. And rejoice with them and celebrate.
Speaker 2:And I'll just say one more thing is the more you can let your mentee in on the struggles you're having, and then the more you can let them experience you having joy despite the hard things that are going on in your life, you're giving them someone to emulate, something someone to look up to whenever they have less than ideal circumstances in their life. They will remember how you handled your junk. And if you walk out in joy, then it's gonna give them it's gonna create create a path to follow whenever it's time for them to walk out in joy despite circumstances. 100%.
Speaker 3:I hadn't really thought about the power of the example when you can come into your mentor meeting and say, hey. I'm I'm struggling today. Would you pray for me because I'm a little distracted? You know? I was I was in a car wreck, and, like, my car, I don't know if it's gonna be totaled or what.
Speaker 3:You know? I'm okay, and everybody's okay, but it could be just real expensive. You know, the interesting thing that that the mentor gets to present in a situation like that is to say, hey, mentee. This is how an adult responds when things happen in life. And so that mentee is gonna walk away thinking, oh my goodness.
Speaker 3:You know, you're the only person that I know that if something that terrible happens to, but you don't respond the way everybody that I know. You know, you don't you don't just completely lose it, and they're gonna say, why is that? And guess what the answer is? Jesus. That's it, man.
Speaker 2:I I also think if you're with your mentee and let's say you just got in a fight with your spouse, or let's say you just had a bad day at work, or let's say you're sick, Verbalize that. Mhmm. Hey, man. If it seems like I'm down today, I just got in a argument with my spouse, or I'm feeling sick. You know?
Speaker 2:Because that when you speak that out loud, then it takes away an opportunity for the enemy to get in between you.
Speaker 3:Yeah. That's that's some priceless stuff right there. Your priceless. Maybe it's Maybelline.
Speaker 2:I don't I don't think that's I think it's maybe she was bored with it. Maybe it's Maybelline. That's a untimely joke.
Speaker 3:Oh, man. Has this do you think that this episode has been as fun for our listener as it has been for us?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I sure hope so. But listener, if you if you got something to say to us, send us an email, zachch atukumentor.comjohnjohn@ukumentor.com. Tell us what's up. We love you.
Speaker 2:We hope you learned something new on this pod. And if you like it, share it. And if you didn't hear anything else today, remember this. You can mentor.