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Rethink Culture is the podcast that shines the spotlight on the leaders who are rethinking workplace culture. Virtually all of the business leaders who make headlines today do so because of their company performance. Yet, the people and the culture of a company is at least as important as its performance. It's time that we shine the spotlight on the leaders who are rethinking workplace culture and are putting people and culture at the forefront.
[00:00:07.13 - 00:00:10.05] Good morning, good afternoon and good evening.
[00:00:10.05 - 00:00:14.07] Welcome to another episode of Rethink Culture, the podcast that shines a
[00:00:14.07 - 00:00:17.17] spotlight on business leaders who are creating intentional cultures.
[00:00:17.19 - 00:00:21.04] My name is Andreas Konstantinou and I'm your host.
[00:00:21.10 - 00:00:24.13] I'm the founder of Rethink Culture, a company that aims to help 1 million
[00:00:24.13 - 00:00:28.05] businesses create healthier, happier work cultures.
[00:00:28.07 - 00:00:31.04] And we just launched a new service, Culture Health Score, that turns your
[00:00:31.04 - 00:00:34.04] culture into a KPI at rethinkculture.co.
[00:00:34.10 - 00:00:35.04] Today,
[00:00:35.05 - 00:00:38.13] I have the pleasure of welcoming David Henzel.
[00:00:38.16 - 00:00:40.19] David is a lot of things.
[00:00:40.19 - 00:00:45.07] He's a serial entrepreneur with several businesses with over 500 employees.
[00:00:45.14 - 00:00:50.07] Some of them are TaskDrive, which is an AI-powered virtual assistance platform, and
[00:00:50.07 - 00:00:51.23] upcoach, a coaching platform.
[00:00:52.04 - 00:00:58.17] He has a few exits that he can boast like MaxCDN, which hosted 6 million websites.
[00:00:58.20 - 00:00:59.11] But
[00:00:59.11 - 00:01:03.11] what's important for him and where he spends his majority of time is spreading
[00:01:03.11 - 00:01:08.01] the concept of Love Not Fear through his personal development course, Managing
[00:01:08.01 - 00:01:11.19] Happiness and his organizational development course, Love Not Fear.
[00:01:12.11 - 00:01:18.07] And what stood out for me for David is when we run the cultural health score in
[00:01:18.10 - 00:01:22.13] one of his companies, it had the absolute highest score I had ever seen.
[00:01:25.08 - 00:01:28.10] Almost unreal in the high nineties.
[00:01:29.13 - 00:01:34.07] And in his spare time he's hanging out in his farm in Bodrum with his wife, daughter
[00:01:34.19 - 00:01:38.21] and as he tells me three horses and ten dogs.
[00:01:38.21 - 00:01:39.10] And two donkeys.
[00:01:39.10 - 00:01:44.02] So very welcome. Very welcome to the
[00:01:44.02 - 00:01:45.22] rethink culture podcast, David.
[00:01:46.02 - 00:01:47.22] Thank you very much for having me, Andreas.
[00:01:47.22 - 00:01:49.04] Pleasure to be here.
[00:01:49.04 - 00:01:49.14] Thank you.
[00:01:49.14 - 00:01:52.17] And we recently had a podcast where you hosted me.
[00:01:52.17 - 00:01:55.10] So it's nice to be on the other side of this as well.
[00:01:55.20 - 00:02:01.10] Now, I want to dive a lot into Love Not Fear.
[00:02:01.10 - 00:02:05.14] But first tell us a little bit about David.
[00:02:05.17 - 00:02:08.10] How was your childhood?
[00:02:08.10 - 00:02:09.20] Where did you grow up?
[00:02:10.01 - 00:02:14.19] And how did you end up through this path of entrepreneurship?
[00:02:15.08 - 00:02:18.01] and I assume a lot of highs but also a lot of lows.
[00:02:18.01 - 00:02:20.07] So what was that path that led you here?
[00:02:21.23 - 00:02:25.20] So I'm originally from Germany and I grew up really unconventional.
[00:02:25.20 - 00:02:28.03] My parents raised me without authority.
[00:02:28.05 - 00:02:30.20] So I was not really made for school or any jobs.
[00:02:30.20 - 00:02:32.07] And at some point I was kind of lost.
[00:02:32.07 - 00:02:33.10] Didn't know what to do with my life.
[00:02:33.10 - 00:02:36.08] And a friend of mine said like, Hey man, you're good with computers.
[00:02:36.08 - 00:02:37.16] How about we start a business together?
[00:02:37.16 - 00:02:41.08] And then I found entrepreneurship and it was like, ah, you know, that was really
[00:02:41.08 - 00:02:42.05] made for me.
[00:02:42.19 - 00:02:50.08] Um, I left America, I left Germany to move to Los Angeles after I sold my business in
[00:02:50.08 - 00:02:51.02] Germany.
[00:02:51.02 - 00:02:54.11] which gave me the money to get my investor visa.
[00:02:54.13 - 00:03:00.11] And this is where we started MaxCDN, which we exited successfully in 2014.
[00:03:01.08 - 00:03:06.11] And then my mother passed away and this was really tough for my wife because they
[00:03:06.11 - 00:03:08.01] were like best friends.
[00:03:08.02 - 00:03:12.08] And my wife wanted to move back to Germany but I could not go back to Germany by the
[00:03:12.08 - 00:03:12.22] conditions.
[00:03:12.22 - 00:03:18.04] And so we ended up moving to sunny Bodrum and we were pretty happy here in our farm.
[00:03:18.15 - 00:03:19.04] Very good.
[00:03:19.04 - 00:03:22.03] And what is Love Not Fear?
[00:03:22.11 - 00:03:29.02] So Love Not Fear is, I guess, a universal truth that every decision in life you make
[00:03:29.02 - 00:03:30.17] out of love or out of fear.
[00:03:31.14 - 00:03:35.08] And I used to be super duper introverted, you know, being a computer nerd.
[00:03:35.08 - 00:03:38.19] If you see the recording, you can see my nerd glasses.
[00:03:39.22 - 00:03:44.07] And I was uncomfortable being on a conference call with a customer and I was
[00:03:44.07 - 00:03:47.01] uncomfortable running a meeting with my own employees.
[00:03:47.17 - 00:03:50.13] And this was really holding me back in life and in business.
[00:03:50.13 - 00:03:55.10] And a very close friend of mine was keynote speaking and networking like a
[00:03:55.10 - 00:03:57.08] maniac at conferences.
[00:03:57.08 - 00:04:00.11] And I saw how much fun he had doing this and how good this was for his business.
[00:04:00.11 - 00:04:02.16] So I want to achieve this as well.
[00:04:03.04 - 00:04:07.13] So I did Toastmasters twice a week, which was in this public speaking training,
[00:04:07.13 - 00:04:12.05] public speaking course, which was very uncomfortable, very uncomfortable for me.
[00:04:12.05 - 00:04:15.04] And I did two networking events per week.
[00:04:15.04 - 00:04:17.04] And I just talked to everybody and their mother
[00:04:17.08 - 00:04:19.10] even though it was very uncomfortable.
[00:04:19.10 - 00:04:22.07] But it got better over time, so I lost my shyness.
[00:04:22.16 - 00:04:26.01] But the real transformation happened when my yoga teacher told me that every
[00:04:26.01 - 00:04:28.16] decision in life you either make out of love or out of fear.
[00:04:28.19 - 00:04:36.05] And this was, yeah, just super big aha moment for me, because before I always
[00:04:36.05 - 00:04:36.22] acted out of fear.
[00:04:36.22 - 00:04:38.22] For example, selling, I hated selling.
[00:04:38.22 - 00:04:42.08] I only sold because we have to sell or our company dies.
[00:04:42.16 - 00:04:45.07] But if I start selling out of love, if I know, hey, the solution that I have for
[00:04:45.07 - 00:04:48.16] you is really good for you, I can't even be a pushy sales guy saying, hey, Andreas,
[00:04:48.16 - 00:04:50.19] freaking buy this, it's gonna help you so much.
[00:04:51.04 - 00:04:54.04] Or public speaking before or being on podcasts.
[00:04:54.14 - 00:04:57.11] Before, if you would have asked me, hey, speak in front of a thousand people or
[00:04:57.11 - 00:05:00.07] shoot yourself in the face, I would have seriously considered the gun.
[00:05:01.11 - 00:05:05.01] But because I was always full of fear, do they think what I'm saying is stupid?
[00:05:05.01 - 00:05:06.19] Do they think I look weird?
[00:05:06.19 - 00:05:08.10] Do they think I have a weird German accent?
[00:05:08.10 - 00:05:11.10] And this was always holding me back and I was full of fear, couldn't present.
[00:05:11.19 - 00:05:16.04] But if I think like, Hey, what I'm sharing here can help these people in their life
[00:05:16.04 - 00:05:17.22] or in their business, it's not about me anymore.
[00:05:17.22 - 00:05:19.11] It becomes very easy.
[00:05:19.16 - 00:05:21.13] So it's the concept of love, not fear.
[00:05:21.13 - 00:05:25.08] And I'm, I want to spread this concept because it was so impactful in my life.
[00:05:25.08 - 00:05:27.08] I could give you 20 more examples.
[00:05:27.16 - 00:05:31.14] Um, and I'm spreading this through a Managing Happiness, which is a course
[00:05:31.14 - 00:05:36.07] where people run their life the same way you run the business by applying, for
[00:05:36.07 - 00:05:38.19] figuring out your core values, your mission and vision.
[00:05:39.07 - 00:05:42.05] And your goals, your nine day plans, basically run yourself the same way you
[00:05:42.05 - 00:05:42.22] run the business.
[00:05:42.22 - 00:05:47.01] And you also figure out your habits because I'm a firm believer if you have
[00:05:47.01 - 00:05:51.10] these things figured out and you do good habits that are good for your body, it's
[00:05:51.10 - 00:05:53.22] much easier to act out of love versus out of fear.
[00:05:54.10 - 00:05:56.22] And the other thing is we do this with companies.
[00:05:56.22 - 00:06:01.22] As Andreas just shared, we have figured out a way to create a pretty good to work
[00:06:01.22 - 00:06:02.19] culture.
[00:06:03.19 - 00:06:07.16] And so we're systematizing this so other people can also do this, that everybody
[00:06:07.16 - 00:06:10.10] goes to work out of love and not out of fear.
[00:06:10.22 - 00:06:15.22] What's an example of looking at work culture with love and not fear?
[00:06:15.22 - 00:06:19.22] What are some of the practices you use there intentionally?
[00:06:19.22 - 00:06:25.23] I mean, start, starting out with having a, a mission and vision that is exciting for
[00:06:25.23 - 00:06:27.02] people, right?
[00:06:27.02 - 00:06:29.05] That you kind of do something that has meaning.
[00:06:29.05 - 00:06:31.02] I think this is kind of where it all starts.
[00:06:31.10 - 00:06:34.07] And a good example, I always give us a good friend of mine.
[00:06:34.07 - 00:06:37.01] He runs Time Doctor, which is a time tracking app.
[00:06:37.07 - 00:06:41.01] And if their mission and vision would be to become the number one time tracking app
[00:06:41.01 - 00:06:45.16] in the world, he'd probably have zero employees that are excited about this, but
[00:06:45.16 - 00:06:47.02] their vision is to become
[00:06:47.02 - 00:06:49.19] uh, the driver of
[00:06:49.19 - 00:06:53.04] remote work or like the, what is it again?
[00:06:53.10 - 00:06:55.16] To lead the remote work revolution.
[00:06:56.02 - 00:06:58.22] And everybody in the company, they're all remote, of course.
[00:06:58.22 - 00:07:01.22] Everyone in the company is super bought into this.
[00:07:01.22 - 00:07:06.18] Their mission is to lead the remote work revolution and they wrote a book about
[00:07:06.18 - 00:07:07.06] this topic.
[00:07:07.06 - 00:07:10.21] They have the biggest conference on the topic called Running Remote, which is
[00:07:10.21 - 00:07:16.00] happening in April in Portugal, if you're there.
[00:07:16.00 - 00:07:18.00] I'm running a workshop there about love and fear.
[00:07:18.01 - 00:07:19.18] So we'd love to see you there.
[00:07:20.00 - 00:07:25.00] And so, yeah, so we're getting off track, but kind of figuring out a mission and
[00:07:25.00 - 00:07:28.03] vision that people get excited about coming to work too.
[00:07:28.03 - 00:07:32.00] I think this is like a good place, place to start in your company.
[00:07:32.12 - 00:07:37.04] So I want to dive into these concepts much more, but before, I wanted to ask you a
[00:07:37.04 - 00:07:42.16] question so we can get to know you a bit better, and the question is, what are two
[00:07:42.16 - 00:07:46.19] truths and one lie for yourself, in no particular order?
[00:07:49.01 - 00:07:50.01] Okay, so.
[00:07:51.15 - 00:07:53.19] I went to 14 different schools.
[00:07:53.21 - 00:07:55.09] I got kicked out everywhere.
[00:07:57.06 - 00:07:59.09] I cannot see pictures in my head.
[00:07:59.09 - 00:08:05.04] I have a condition called aphantasia and I ran a marathon in under three and a half
[00:08:05.04 - 00:08:05.22] hours.
[00:08:06.10 - 00:08:11.19] — So, what’s the lie? — They’re all tantalizing.
[00:08:12.23 - 00:08:15.17] I know you a bit better so I know what is the lie.
[00:08:15.18 - 00:08:17.13] But do tell us.
[00:08:17.17 - 00:08:18.19] Do tell us.
[00:08:18.21 - 00:08:24.10] Well, the lie is that I, um, I only ran a half marathon in two hours and 10 minutes.
[00:08:24.18 - 00:08:28.18] And, you know, I'm far away from the three and a half hours marathon, but I'm working
[00:08:28.18 - 00:08:30.04] on it.
[00:08:30.04 - 00:08:31.00] But the other ones are true. Yeah.
[00:08:31.00 - 00:08:32.15] I went to 14 different schools.
[00:08:33.13 - 00:08:37.10] Uh, and I also have this condition called aphantasia, which doesn't allow me to see
[00:08:37.10 - 00:08:38.15] pictures in my head.
[00:08:39.03 - 00:08:41.15] So how did this...
[00:08:42.09 - 00:08:47.00] this odyssey through the 14 different schools that you were kicked out from...
[00:08:47.03 - 00:08:50.11] how did this shape you as an adult?
[00:08:50.11 - 00:08:53.14] There must have been some trauma and some...
[00:08:54.03 - 00:08:57.05] like defiance coming out of that, right?
[00:08:58.03 - 00:09:03.12] Yeah, maybe some people also say that aphantasia is caused by trauma that you
[00:09:03.12 - 00:09:09.03] just I decided at some point that I can't feel that emotions are not very useful.
[00:09:09.06 - 00:09:11.03] And so I kind of really dimmed them down.
[00:09:11.03 - 00:09:13.03] So that's definitely a possibility.
[00:09:14.12 - 00:09:15.22] My father died when I was 12.
[00:09:15.22 - 00:09:19.18] There's also you know, some very characteristic of aphantasia.
[00:09:19.19 - 00:09:23.16] It didn't take me like it took me an afternoon to get over the fact that my
[00:09:23.16 - 00:09:27.03] father died, I just told myself, there's not nothing I can do.
[00:09:27.15 - 00:09:30.19] It’s nobody's fault, it is what it is, the only logical thing is to move on, so I've been
[00:09:30.19 - 00:09:35.01] always like leaning heavily on the logic side and not on the emotional side.
[00:09:37.06 - 00:09:41.15] Another, you know, I also smoked a pack of cigarettes when I was 12 already and I
[00:09:41.15 - 00:09:45.03] drank hard liquor around the same time when I turned 15, I started smoking weed,
[00:09:45.03 - 00:09:50.18] like 20 joints a day type of thing until I was 19, so I had a very wild, wild teenage
[00:09:50.18 - 00:09:51.12] years.
[00:09:51.22 - 00:09:53.12] And I think another thing that's...
[00:09:53.18 - 00:09:56.18] Shaped me in this regard because I went to so many different schools and I moved a
[00:09:56.18 - 00:10:00.21] few times is that I was always the new guy, I always had to connect with people.
[00:10:00.21 - 00:10:06.03] So it's very easy for me to connect with people. And also kind of thinking like
[00:10:06.03 - 00:10:09.10] deeper I think the chip on my shoulder is that I always want to be liked and loved
[00:10:09.10 - 00:10:14.04] because you know, you're always the new kid. You know, so I think that's...
[00:10:15.02 - 00:10:18.16] And I'm sure if there were some challenges, there were equal, if not more,
[00:10:18.16 - 00:10:20.06] number of opportunities.
[00:10:20.12 - 00:10:26.09] So how has this childhood journey turned into a superpower for you?
[00:10:27.09 - 00:10:29.19] I mean, aphantasia is definitely a superpower.
[00:10:29.19 - 00:10:32.12] It's also my Achilles heel, but it's definitely a superpower, for people
[00:10:32.12 - 00:10:37.06] always feel the entrepreneurial rollercoaster like, yay, F word, yay, F
[00:10:37.06 - 00:10:42.12] word, you know, so, um, and I don't feel this as much, you know, it's very
[00:10:42.12 - 00:10:42.21] limited.
[00:10:42.21 - 00:10:46.22] For example, at MaxCDN we were hacked at some point and, uh, the hackers got
[00:10:46.22 - 00:10:50.18] into a system and they were distributing malware through all the websites hosts on
[00:10:50.18 - 00:10:55.22] network, which could have been game over for, for us, but for me, this was like,
[00:10:56.00 - 00:10:57.01] Okay, this really sucks.
[00:10:57.01 - 00:11:01.15] But let's find a way to fix this, you know, kind of jumping to logic or when my
[00:11:01.15 - 00:11:06.06] wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and the doctor told me it also was just like
[00:11:06.06 - 00:11:11.15] my heart sank to my stomach for a second, but then after a minute it went just like
[00:11:11.15 - 00:11:12.03] back to my head.
[00:11:12.03 - 00:11:13.06] It's like, okay, this really sucks.
[00:11:13.06 - 00:11:14.00] I accept it.
[00:11:14.00 - 00:11:15.00] Let's let's deal with this.
[00:11:15.00 - 00:11:21.15] So I think this is, you know, always being calm in all situations and being able to
[00:11:22.03 - 00:11:24.07] just make quick
[00:11:24.07 - 00:11:25.06] logical decisions.
[00:11:25.06 - 00:11:28.22] I think this is definitely my superpower that helped me in my entrepreneurial
[00:11:28.22 - 00:11:31.21] journey and on the other hand being able to connect with people really fast, you
[00:11:31.21 - 00:11:34.15] know, which is definitely useful in business.
[00:11:35.12 - 00:11:37.07] Extremely unique I would say.
[00:11:37.19 - 00:11:45.06] We talk about tenacity and perseverance but you said that you shine a different
[00:11:45.06 - 00:11:55.21] light to it, which is acceptance and just you know you might be meditating and this
[00:11:55.21 - 00:12:01.23] thought comes to mind and you brush it aside and with the same ease you're talking
[00:12:01.23 - 00:12:07.00] about brushing aside breast cancer as something that is important, but you don't
[00:12:07.00 - 00:12:15.04] allow it to cloud your judgement and kind of hurt you emotionally, but you move
[00:12:15.04 - 00:12:19.11] into, okay, what can we do about it?
[00:12:20.00 - 00:12:25.15] So, yeah, it's a very, I think liberating way of seeing things.
[00:12:26.03 - 00:12:31.13] You know, when I went through a very tough time, I don't know, around when my daughter
[00:12:31.13 - 00:12:33.01] was born, so business was going really well.
[00:12:33.01 - 00:12:35.09] I was super busy with work.
[00:12:35.09 - 00:12:38.06] And then our daughter was born, which is beautiful, but also like throws a wrench
[00:12:38.06 - 00:12:41.22] into your system, you know, because like all of you who have kids know that this
[00:12:41.22 - 00:12:43.19] becomes extra stressful.
[00:12:43.22 - 00:12:47.12] And then two weeks later, my mother passed away and three weeks
[00:12:47.12 - 00:12:51.06] after this, my grandma passed away. An employee of mine came to me and said,
[00:12:51.06 - 00:12:55.21] like, Hey, dude, how can you function with so much shit going on in your life?
[00:12:55.22 - 00:12:59.03] And you're productive and you're in a good mood.
[00:12:59.03 - 00:13:00.00] Like how does this work?
[00:13:00.00 - 00:13:02.09] And back then I also didn't know I have aphantasia.
[00:13:02.09 - 00:13:03.22] And I said, like, I have no idea.
[00:13:03.22 - 00:13:05.18] And he said, please figure this out.
[00:13:05.18 - 00:13:07.03] I'd really like to know.
[00:13:07.12 - 00:13:09.00] And I thought long and hard about this.
[00:13:09.00 - 00:13:13.04] And the two things that came to mind was A, the serenity prayer.
[00:13:13.04 - 00:13:16.21] It's like God give me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the power
[00:13:16.21 - 00:13:20.22] to change things I can change, and the wisdom to know which one's which.
[00:13:20.22 - 00:13:23.18] I think I really deeply ingrained this into my...
[00:13:24.13 - 00:13:27.09] my body and heart, my mind and heart.
[00:13:27.19 - 00:13:29.18] And the other thing is a gratitude rock.
[00:13:29.18 - 00:13:32.00] You know, so I have this rock that I pick up every morning.
[00:13:32.12 - 00:13:35.22] Actually, I just gave it away on the last EBC retreat, so I got to find a new one.
[00:13:35.22 - 00:13:39.13] But when I take this rock, I go through the things that I'm grateful for.
[00:13:39.22 - 00:13:43.03] You know, my healthy body, my daughter, wife, being in Bodrum, my dogs, family,
[00:13:43.03 - 00:13:47.01] friends, like there's so many things, and this makes me see how much beauty I
[00:13:47.01 - 00:13:50.06] actually have in my life, and makes me forget about the hair in the soup, you
[00:13:50.06 - 00:13:53.10] know, or the quote unquote big problem of the moment, which six months from now, I
[00:13:53.10 - 00:13:54.15] don't even remember.
[00:13:55.00 - 00:13:59.09] And this helped me to untrain myself of being like focused on only the issue.
[00:13:59.09 - 00:14:04.07] And this gives me immense strengths to just like power through things that come up.
[00:14:04.07 - 00:14:06.18] And at the end of the day, actually during the day, I have the stone in my pocket.
[00:14:06.18 - 00:14:09.06] And sometimes when something stresses me, I feel the stone.
[00:14:09.06 - 00:14:11.18] This brings you back to like, Hey, actually life's beautiful.
[00:14:11.18 - 00:14:13.09] We're going to deal with this as well.
[00:14:13.15 - 00:14:16.03] And at the end of the day, when I come home and I take out my phone and my
[00:14:16.03 - 00:14:18.07] wallet, et cetera, I take out the stone as well.
[00:14:18.07 - 00:14:21.03] And I go through the things that went great this day, because often you have a
[00:14:21.03 - 00:14:23.22] very productive morning, everything goes, you know,
[00:14:24.04 - 00:14:28.12] goes good and then 5pm you have an unpleasant conversation with spouse,
[00:14:28.12 - 00:14:30.07] business partner, lose a customer.
[00:14:31.13 - 00:14:33.22] And you think everything sucks but it does not.
[00:14:33.22 - 00:14:38.06] Yeah, so it's been very, very helpful for me.
[00:14:38.06 - 00:14:39.21] And how do you end your day?
[00:14:39.21 - 00:14:42.16] How do you wrap up your day talking about habits?
[00:14:43.21 - 00:14:45.21] You seem to be very thoughtful about your...
[00:14:46.03 - 00:14:47.19] I’m a total habits nerd, yeah.
[00:14:48.03 - 00:14:53.12] So ideal is to plan the next day, figure out what I want to get done the next day
[00:14:53.12 - 00:14:57.07] and then circle the frog, which is the task that I really don't want to do and do
[00:14:57.07 - 00:14:58.09] this first.
[00:14:58.09 - 00:15:00.13] So I have like a clear and also like time blocking.
[00:15:00.13 - 00:15:05.00] I know like what am I going to do when I get up.
[00:15:05.01 - 00:15:06.07] Not eating after 9 p.m.
[00:15:06.07 - 00:15:08.07] because this really ruins my sleep.
[00:15:10.00 - 00:15:12.21] And already prepping for the next day, like taking out the clothes that I'm going
[00:15:12.21 - 00:15:13.15] to wear, etc.
[00:15:13.15 - 00:15:17.03] To just like make it like really ready to go.
[00:15:18.06 - 00:15:22.22] And I've been violating this, but like not use the phone in the bedroom, you know,
[00:15:22.22 - 00:15:27.16] and just like read a book or listen to an audiobook and go to bed.
[00:15:27.16 - 00:15:30.21] That's my usual wind down routine.
[00:15:31.22 - 00:15:32.21] Because at 6 a.m.
[00:15:32.21 - 00:15:36.22] my personal trainer comes three times a week, you know, so I need a lot of sleep,
[00:15:36.22 - 00:15:38.14] but I need to get some quality sleep.
[00:15:38.14 - 00:15:45.12] I really like the paradigm with the rock as a very tangible reminder of life's...
[00:15:45.14 - 00:15:54.05] simplicity and the fact that we need to remember and ground ourselves if we can
[00:15:54.05 - 00:15:57.04] every day like you said it's a great habit to have uh...
[00:15:57.04 - 00:16:01.21] Also another habit think is really important, I want to sweat like ideally every day.
[00:16:02.11 - 00:16:06.12] Back in the days I felt bad going to the gym because I thought like oh I should be
[00:16:06.12 - 00:16:08.06] in the office I have so much to do.
[00:16:09.00 - 00:16:15.00] But working out on an ideally daily basis like six seven times a week just gives me
[00:16:15.00 - 00:16:18.14] so much more clarity in my head and makes me feel so much better because I guess you
[00:16:18.14 - 00:16:23.00] get rid of bad hormones or whatever that are floating around your body and you
[00:16:23.00 - 00:16:24.05] bring in the good ones.
[00:16:24.18 - 00:16:25.18] And it just...
[00:16:25.21 - 00:16:28.17] Yeah, it makes my head much clearer because in leadership positions, I guess
[00:16:28.17 - 00:16:32.12] it's way more important to make the right decisions versus just grinding more hours.
[00:16:33.05 - 00:16:36.02] And so this is also a really important habit for me.
[00:16:36.14 - 00:16:42.07] If we move to the other side of the equation, which is habits at work, what
[00:16:42.07 - 00:16:45.04] are some of the habits you practice in your companies?
[00:16:45.22 - 00:16:48.10] I personally or people in my business.
[00:16:48.18 - 00:16:52.19] As in your businesses, not personally.
[00:16:53.06 - 00:16:57.03] I mean, there's, there's a lot of like SOPs and recurring things that we're doing.
[00:16:57.03 - 00:17:05.00] Right. Um, one thing in terms of, I also encourage that employees, team members of
[00:17:05.00 - 00:17:09.06] mine, take the Managing Happiness course because you know, how you do one thing is
[00:17:09.06 - 00:17:10.00] how to do everything.
[00:17:10.00 - 00:17:13.01] And if you have, you know, the three areas of your life, if they're in order, if
[00:17:13.01 - 00:17:19.03] you're in all your, yourself, mind, body, spirit is good and your, um, family and
[00:17:19.03 - 00:17:20.12] relationships is good.
[00:17:20.15 - 00:17:24.22] You know, then it's much easier to be good in the work world.
[00:17:24.22 - 00:17:29.10] And also like not to neglect any of those, because if one of them falls away, you
[00:17:29.10 - 00:17:33.06] know, if you are, you get sick or you have problems with your relationships, then you
[00:17:33.06 - 00:17:35.16] also won't be able to focus properly on work.
[00:17:36.12 - 00:17:44.18] So yeah, I encourage everybody to figure out the habits they want to reach their
[00:17:44.18 - 00:17:46.19] goals and also in terms of planning.
[00:17:47.06 - 00:17:51.00] In Managing Happiness, we do a 90 day plan and we always like pick a goal and then we
[00:17:51.00 - 00:17:56.04] pick tactics, which are one time things and, uh, and habits.
[00:17:56.04 - 00:18:00.18] Things we do on a recurring basis to reach the goals that we want to reach.
[00:18:00.18 - 00:18:06.15] You know, cause like repetition, I guess, like always brings the, brings the, the
[00:18:06.15 - 00:18:10.22] fruit of your labor working on a consistent basis or doing outreach on a
[00:18:10.22 - 00:18:14.07] consistent basis, posting on social media on a consistent basis, no kind of having
[00:18:14.07 - 00:18:16.06] this consistency usually brings them,
[00:18:16.18 - 00:18:19.12] the results.
[00:18:19.12 - 00:18:23.09] One random habits that I personally like, it was not like a real habit, but we do it
[00:18:23.09 - 00:18:28.13] like twice a week at twice a year, is to look over all of our expenses, look into
[00:18:28.13 - 00:18:33.19] our credit card statements, and figure out which of the tools are we still using,
[00:18:33.19 - 00:18:37.15] which are we not using anymore, because they always accumulate like crazy, and
[00:18:37.15 - 00:18:41.15] also do vending renegotiations, kind of like always like work with the
[00:18:41.15 - 00:18:46.16] vendors to lower the price because, yeah, it's just like, you know, good,
[00:18:47.06 - 00:18:50.23] cleaning the house exercise that I like doing.
[00:18:51.06 - 00:18:55.13] Yeah, cleaning the fat or trimming the fat.
[00:18:56.07 - 00:19:01.03] Besides the goal setting and Managing Happiness course that you offer your
[00:19:01.03 - 00:19:07.19] employees, how do you see, how do you help people in your business challenge their
[00:19:07.19 - 00:19:08.22] limits and grow?
[00:19:10.01 - 00:19:11.00] I overwhelm them.
[00:19:11.00 - 00:19:12.03] No, just kidding.
[00:19:15.21 - 00:19:20.07] The thing that I like the best and what I'm really leaning into right now is also
[00:19:20.07 - 00:19:24.21] with the company upcoach that where we did the test with you, where we had the high
[00:19:24.21 - 00:19:30.06] score is to allow them to self manage and to give them real ownership.
[00:19:30.06 - 00:19:36.00] And let me explain how we changed our development process because it's really
[00:19:36.00 - 00:19:40.00] remarkable results in employee happiness and also in productivity.
[00:19:40.13 - 00:19:43.21] The original one, how I guess most...
[00:19:45.03 - 00:19:48.00] product companies are running, it's the head of product figures out what we're
[00:19:48.00 - 00:19:50.21] going to build and specs out what should be built.
[00:19:51.10 - 00:19:55.21] And then he tells like, Hey, developer A, you build this one, developer B, you
[00:19:55.21 - 00:19:57.09] build this one, et cetera.
[00:19:57.18 - 00:20:03.00] And then once they're done, they give it back and the, the marketing person then
[00:20:03.00 - 00:20:09.09] promotes it and then the customer success person or support person deals, deals with
[00:20:09.12 - 00:20:10.22] the customer questions, right?
[00:20:10.22 - 00:20:13.22] So everybody's like a small wheel in, in this machine somewhere.
[00:20:14.15 - 00:20:20.04] So we, what we did with upcoach, we removed customer support, this position
[00:20:20.04 - 00:20:22.07] and let everybody do customer support.
[00:20:22.18 - 00:20:26.06] Even though it's, you know, you may think it's costly to put a high end developer on
[00:20:26.06 - 00:20:30.00] customer support, but we really want them to understand
[00:20:30.21 - 00:20:32.16] our customers prompts, right?
[00:20:32.16 - 00:20:34.07] It was like really important for me.
[00:20:35.01 - 00:20:39.09] And, um, then our head of product does not give detailed specs.
[00:20:39.09 - 00:20:40.13] He just like create a list.
[00:20:40.13 - 00:20:42.21] We call it the pool, the pool of ideas
[00:20:43.06 - 00:20:49.00] of what people can work on and every developer picks the task or the feature
[00:20:49.00 - 00:20:51.04] that he wants to build that he's excited about.
[00:20:52.00 - 00:20:55.15] And then they develop it and it's also not super specced out.
[00:20:55.15 - 00:20:58.18] So they have to really think like, how should this, should this work?
[00:21:00.06 - 00:21:02.18] And then it's not the marketing person that announced it.
[00:21:02.18 - 00:21:08.00] It's the developer who goes into a user community and posts the feature that he
[00:21:08.00 - 00:21:10.18] just built and said, like, Hey guys, I just built XYZ.
[00:21:11.03 - 00:21:12.00] This is how it works.
[00:21:12.00 - 00:21:13.01] Because then
[00:21:13.01 - 00:21:15.09] a, he has like way more ownership over it.
[00:21:15.19 - 00:21:20.07] And he has to use his entire being in his entire skills to build this thing.
[00:21:20.07 - 00:21:24.15] It's not just like, you know, painting by colors, you know, like, Oh, this one is
[00:21:24.15 - 00:21:27.09] blue, just filling it in as it was before.
[00:21:27.15 - 00:21:31.16] And very importantly, they get the praise of like, you know, their scene that they
[00:21:31.16 - 00:21:34.18] built this thing and get feedback from customers.
[00:21:35.04 - 00:21:39.21] And this had the effect that a, our cultural employee happiness is really high
[00:21:39.21 - 00:21:42.15] as we saw in the score, I think we had a 94
[00:21:42.15 - 00:21:49.06] or whatever it was, and we had a 300% more output of features developed.
[00:21:49.07 - 00:21:53.15] Um, and our user community is like losing it, like how are you guys doing this?
[00:21:53.15 - 00:21:55.21] You know, it's like Christmas, you're shipping so much.
[00:21:56.07 - 00:21:58.18] So yeah, this was, was really impactful for us.
[00:21:59.05 - 00:22:05.00] And this goal comes from the choice of what you want to work on, out of a pool of
[00:22:05.10 - 00:22:08.18] development features and bugs to be fixed, right?
[00:22:09.21 - 00:22:10.16] Correct.
[00:22:11.09 - 00:22:13.07] Yes. Actually we have an exterminator role.
[00:22:13.07 - 00:22:17.13] So every week a different person is the exterminator and the exterminator takes on
[00:22:17.18 - 00:22:18.15] bugs.
[00:22:19.03 - 00:22:22.09] But yeah, I think it's also the big time.
[00:22:22.09 - 00:22:26.09] The big thing is the ownership over if you really build something that you're really
[00:22:26.09 - 00:22:29.06] responsible for that you have picked that you excited about,
[00:22:30.06 - 00:22:32.22] you do a much better job versus like if I built, you know, if we have a school
[00:22:32.22 - 00:22:36.15] project together and I built a volcano and you have to present it.
[00:22:36.15 - 00:22:38.01] I don't really care that much.
[00:22:38.06 - 00:22:39.15] But if it's like me really
[00:22:39.15 - 00:22:43.04] showing it to others, it just changes the dynamics.
[00:22:43.16 - 00:22:49.12] Also for the dev nerds, we also don't do, um, uh, forecast like people don't
[00:22:49.12 - 00:22:51.18] estimate how long they will need for a feature.
[00:22:51.21 - 00:22:53.00] We created budgets.
[00:22:53.00 - 00:22:55.16] So there's S, M, and L size features.
[00:22:55.16 - 00:23:00.10] And, um, for S feature you have X time to do this, this forces them to make
[00:23:00.10 - 00:23:03.01] fast decisions and not just like to overanalyze, you know, it's just like
[00:23:03.01 - 00:23:08.00] ship, because at the end of the day, the customer impact, you know, how customers
[00:23:08.00 - 00:23:12.19] will see it will, will give us the, the feedback, you know.
[00:23:13.12 - 00:23:20.22] And besides Love Not Fear, what other values do you use to define the culture?
[00:23:21.15 - 00:23:28.21] Um, usually it's, it's also close to, um, my personal core values.
[00:23:29.15 - 00:23:34.10] Uh, one that I always had in, in since the MaxCDN days is own it.
[00:23:35.07 - 00:23:40.04] Um, at MaxCDN own it, we build trust through total account...
[00:23:40.04 - 00:23:44.04] total transparency and accountability, but now our personal value is own it.
[00:23:44.04 - 00:23:46.13] Always do your best to be impeccable with your word.
[00:23:46.13 - 00:23:49.10] Do not complain or blame, find solutions.
[00:23:49.22 - 00:23:52.22] So also the same, we have the same value in our family.
[00:23:53.06 - 00:23:58.15] So my, every time I, my daughter complains, I always tell this core value.
[00:23:58.15 - 00:24:02.22] And now every time if I complain, she says like, Hey dad, Henzel's don't complain.
[00:24:02.22 - 00:24:04.04] We find solutions, you know?
[00:24:04.04 - 00:24:08.00] So it's kind of works, works both ways as it should.
[00:24:09.07 - 00:24:10.17] So yeah.
[00:24:10.17 - 00:24:12.10] I need to teach this to my kids as well.
[00:24:14.15 - 00:24:17.15] I mean, it makes total logical sense.
[00:24:17.19 - 00:24:19.12] And it works really great with Emma.
[00:24:19.19 - 00:24:25.12] Another one is like transparency in the business, to be really transparent with
[00:24:25.12 - 00:24:28.09] people because there's no need to bullshit anybody.
[00:24:28.09 - 00:24:32.21] You just like tell people if it's bad, just tell them what's going on.
[00:24:32.21 - 00:24:37.15] If you have a good culture, people will stick to you and come together and find
[00:24:37.15 - 00:24:38.21] solutions together.
[00:24:39.10 - 00:24:43.15] And also with Aphantasia hand in hand goes SDAM, which stands for
[00:24:43.16 - 00:24:47.09] um, severely deficient autobiographical memory.
[00:24:47.15 - 00:24:51.03] So, uh, it's much easier for me to just like be transparent because I cannot tell
[00:24:51.03 - 00:24:52.21] any stories because I'll forget what I said.
[00:24:52.21 - 00:24:55.15] You know, so it's just like, it's much easier to just be always real and
[00:24:55.15 - 00:24:56.12] authentic.
[00:24:57.00 - 00:24:58.04] And how about feedback?
[00:24:58.04 - 00:24:59.16] How do you give feedback?
[00:25:01.06 - 00:25:06.06] I remember from our early discussion that you're very thoughtful about that.
[00:25:07.09 - 00:25:11.07] So my mother always said, and my mother was the medicinal director of the BKA,
[00:25:11.07 - 00:25:15.06] which is the German, I guess, FBI.
[00:25:15.06 - 00:25:19.10] And she often had to tell people like very harsh things.
[00:25:20.06 - 00:25:25.01] And she always said, be hard in the case, but soft with the person.
[00:25:25.12 - 00:25:28.21] So for example, if I work with you and let's say you're always late, you know, I
[00:25:28.21 - 00:25:32.16] pull you aside, say, Hey, Andreas, you know I really like you as a person.
[00:25:32.16 - 00:25:34.22] You do a lot of good stuff.
[00:25:34.22 - 00:25:39.15] But this late coming business, you know, this has to stop because of X, Y, Z reasons.
[00:25:39.21 - 00:25:44.19] And, um, I want to help you to, to fix this if I can be of any service, but if
[00:25:44.19 - 00:25:47.00] this doesn't stop, I'll have to let you go.
[00:25:47.00 - 00:25:48.15] We can't work together anymore.
[00:25:48.21 - 00:25:53.16] So I'm very kind to you, but I'm also very hard in the, so kind with the person,
[00:25:53.16 - 00:25:54.23] but hard in the case.
[00:25:55.09 - 00:25:59.06] You know, I think this is like a really good way to, to make people that just
[00:25:59.06 - 00:26:01.22] things or the management bullshit sandwich, you know, tell you something
[00:26:01.22 - 00:26:03.21] like, Hey, Andreas, as you're doing this really great.
[00:26:04.09 - 00:26:06.13] And here you suck, you got to fix that.
[00:26:06.21 - 00:26:09.10] But you're also doing this great, you know, so people can compensate this
[00:26:09.10 - 00:26:14.12] better, to not feel attacked, you know.
[00:26:15.09 - 00:26:20.21] And ideally also always stay in Gestalt, you know, to stick with our EO game, just
[00:26:20.21 - 00:26:22.22] like share from experience.
[00:26:24.04 - 00:26:27.18] You know, not give advice. Yes.
[00:26:27.22 - 00:26:29.03] That's correct.
[00:26:29.19 - 00:26:34.19] And also like nonviolent communication, you know, not saying, hey, you always do this.
[00:26:34.19 - 00:26:36.10] Whereas like, hey, I perceive you doing this.
[00:26:36.10 - 00:26:40.23] You know, this makes me feel like, you know, we just talked about this.
[00:26:40.23 - 00:26:43.13] You did, you shared this frame, which I really like.
[00:26:43.13 - 00:26:45.14] You did this and this was the impact.
[00:26:46.01 - 00:26:49.05] And I feel like X, Y, Z about this.
[00:26:49.07 - 00:26:53.13] So it's like, you know, it takes away, decouples things and makes it much easier
[00:26:53.13 - 00:26:54.19] for people to digest.
[00:26:54.19 - 00:26:57.13] And I'll definitely use this with my daughter as well.
[00:26:58.02 - 00:26:59.10] I think it's really genius.
[00:26:59.13 - 00:27:02.19] It also reminds me of a couple of different frameworks.
[00:27:02.19 - 00:27:07.02] So Radical Candor by Kim Scott, which says you have to be direct with your feedback,
[00:27:07.02 - 00:27:12.21] but only after you have communicated, and I would add convinced the other person that
[00:27:12.21 - 00:27:17.02] you care about them as a person.
[00:27:17.02 - 00:27:22.23] Another way I recently verbalized this with another podcast guest is,
[00:27:23.07 - 00:27:26.19] accountability to the team, compassion to the person.
[00:27:27.10 - 00:27:29.11] So someone who's late.
[00:27:30.23 - 00:27:35.16] If someone's late to a meeting by five minutes, they are wasting five minutes of
[00:27:35.16 - 00:27:36.19] everyone's time.
[00:27:36.22 - 00:27:41.13] So they have accountability to the group for the time they wasted.
[00:27:41.22 - 00:27:47.08] However, if that person has had really bad news about someone they really care, the
[00:27:47.08 - 00:27:53.10] group has to be compassionate, or the individual has to be compassionate to that person.
[00:27:54.18 - 00:27:58.11] Right? So we show compassion to the person, we have to be human
[00:27:59.11 - 00:28:06.14] and see each person with compassion, but we also have to consider accountability to
[00:28:06.14 - 00:28:08.17] the team.
[00:28:08.17 - 00:28:16.07] And the two might seem like they are a cognitive dissonance, which means hold two
[00:28:16.07 - 00:28:20.01] opposing thoughts in your brain at the same time, but they're not opposing,
[00:28:20.05 - 00:28:24.16] because accountability is to the group and compassion is to the person.
[00:28:26.08 - 00:28:30.13] Which I find a really nice way to frame that difference.
[00:28:31.10 - 00:28:35.19] Yeah, so it reminds me of our mutual friend, Haluk, I think he was also on your on
[00:28:35.19 - 00:28:41.01] your podcast, who runs a complete Teal organization.
[00:28:41.17 - 00:28:44.15] For those who don't know it's coming from a book called
[00:28:44.15 - 00:28:46.10] Reinventing Organizations.
[00:28:46.22 - 00:28:52.10] And he said like, hiring and firing the team fires people not the manager who only
[00:28:52.10 - 00:28:55.16] looks at KPIs and because the team really knows if something's going on in the
[00:28:55.16 - 00:28:56.17] person's life,
[00:28:56.22 - 00:28:59.02] that this is why he's not performing right now.
[00:28:59.02 - 00:29:03.10] Or if he's like has a side hustle, you know, because then they'd be pissed
[00:29:03.10 - 00:29:04.16] and fire him.
[00:29:05.16 - 00:29:08.20] And another one would with feedback that I really like doing is I like to do when I
[00:29:08.20 - 00:29:11.11] do my one on ones.
[00:29:11.11 - 00:29:14.04] I like to ask three questions like checking questions.
[00:29:15.04 - 00:29:18.19] One what's going really great, you know, kind of like US style good news, people
[00:29:18.19 - 00:29:23.19] can like show what to do to lighten the mood, then what is draining you?
[00:29:24.01 - 00:29:28.08] Because often it's like really excavates things that they're not even aware of that
[00:29:28.08 - 00:29:31.16] this is something that's not going great, you know, project, it's not rolling out
[00:29:31.16 - 00:29:33.17] whatever.
[00:29:33.17 - 00:29:37.13] And the last one, how would you rate your performance from zero to 10 over the last
[00:29:37.13 - 00:29:38.20] since we last talked?
[00:29:39.07 - 00:29:43.01] Because this also gives me opens the door for me to give you direct feedback.
[00:29:43.01 - 00:29:44.11] If I do not like something, okay.
[00:29:44.11 - 00:29:48.19] You think you're an eight, but I think you perform the like a four because I know you
[00:29:48.19 - 00:29:50.08] could do X Y Z better.
[00:29:50.23 - 00:29:57.04] Um, and once people get into the habit of this to do this on a weekly basis, it
[00:29:57.04 - 00:30:01.16] becomes really easy for people to, to get feedback and also get, you know, like I
[00:30:01.16 - 00:30:06.14] think annual reviews are complete BS because, you know, maybe it's just
[00:30:06.16 - 00:30:12.08] with my SDAM, with my bad memory that I can't remember stuff, but like, I think
[00:30:12.08 - 00:30:14.22] it's completely pointless to do it after year.
[00:30:14.22 - 00:30:19.01] And actually, if you do the annual review, you could look back at these, these weekly
[00:30:19.01 - 00:30:22.04] check-ins and like kind of add up the numbers and make based on this, you know,
[00:30:22.04 - 00:30:25.10] like how would you, how did we both rate your performance?
[00:30:25.10 - 00:30:29.20] And then based on this, give you a bonus or, or like, you know, put you on a
[00:30:29.20 - 00:30:31.05] performance improvement plan.
[00:30:31.05 - 00:30:32.01] Yeah.
[00:30:32.11 - 00:30:33.19] I think I totally agree.
[00:30:33.19 - 00:30:41.19] Performance reviews have all the potential to be damaging to the individual, creating
[00:30:41.19 - 00:30:45.10] a sense of fear about what's coming.
[00:30:45.10 - 00:30:48.16] And they tend, they're an excuse for postponing feedback, whereas feedback has
[00:30:48.16 - 00:30:50.16] to be timely.
[00:30:50.17 - 00:30:55.22] And we have to look at performance reviews as coaching rather than you're here to be
[00:30:55.22 - 00:30:58.04] judged for
[00:30:58.04 - 00:31:00.13] what did in the last six months.
[00:31:00.13 - 00:31:06.08] I know you're short of time, so let's move into my favorite closing questions, which
[00:31:06.08 - 00:31:12.05] is if you were to create the best workplace out there, and you actually have
[00:31:12.05 - 00:31:17.13] one of the best workplaces out there already, where would you start?
[00:31:18.07 - 00:31:23.23] I'll probably start with core values and collectively agree on like, what are the
[00:31:23.23 - 00:31:29.08] values that we all cherish and value and really involve the team to, to come up
[00:31:29.08 - 00:31:32.22] with them and also put some aspirational values in there.
[00:31:32.22 - 00:31:37.07] Something that we currently not probably want to aspire to and then make every
[00:31:37.07 - 00:31:41.07] decision that you make, explain them with the core values.
[00:31:41.10 - 00:31:45.20] So it's easier for people to understand, you know, if they're doing something good
[00:31:45.20 - 00:31:47.16] or bad and, you know, because.
[00:31:47.23 - 00:31:51.05] At the end of the day, if they really understand this framework, they know the
[00:31:51.05 - 00:31:54.13] vision and the mission of the company and know the core values, it's easy for them
[00:31:54.13 - 00:32:00.01] to make decisions the same way you would make them and something that we do to make
[00:32:00.01 - 00:32:04.07] people understand that we put the core values already in our job posting.
[00:32:04.07 - 00:32:08.10] We share, talk about core values in the hiring process.
[00:32:08.10 - 00:32:11.20] And then once somebody's hired, we tell them, we do like an onboarding thing that
[00:32:11.20 - 00:32:15.07] everybody goes through those hired this month and share with them
[00:32:15.23 - 00:32:20.01] our core values and core value stories, how somebody really lived up to the core
[00:32:20.01 - 00:32:22.14] values and why we made certain decisions about that.
[00:32:22.14 - 00:32:25.20] So it's easier for them to align with them.
[00:32:25.20 - 00:32:30.10] I think that's probably like, if you would have to pick one, this is where I would start.
[00:32:30.22 - 00:32:36.04] And to leaders who are not as intentional about their cultures, they are driving on
[00:32:36.16 - 00:32:38.16] culture by default mode.
[00:32:38.22 - 00:32:40.07] What would you say to them?
[00:32:45.05 - 00:32:49.19] Take the Managing Happiness course, figure out your own values and start from there.
[00:32:50.10 - 00:32:52.19] You know, kind of self leadership before you...
[00:32:53.13 - 00:32:57.13] If you're not properly leading yourself, it's hard to lead others.
[00:32:58.00 - 00:33:04.22] And sometimes, like my father or even my sons have asked me, why do I go to a
[00:33:04.22 - 00:33:06.04] psychotherapist?
[00:33:06.16 - 00:33:11.22] And one of my answers is, I go there to find what my blind spots are.
[00:33:12.11 - 00:33:16.01] My blind spots were programmed without my knowledge.
[00:33:16.13 - 00:33:23.20] When I was five or 10, I was simply copying the behavior that I was seeing around me.
[00:33:24.02 - 00:33:27.04] And now that I've grown up, I realized
[00:33:27.22 - 00:33:35.04] that I need to hand pick and inspect every one of these blind spots, the stuff that
[00:33:35.04 - 00:33:40.13] others see in me, but I don't personally see because my back is turned away from
[00:33:40.13 - 00:33:44.19] them, or it's in, you know, I don't have eyes on my back.
[00:33:45.08 - 00:33:49.22] And so I do these sessions with my psychotherapist to figure out what my
[00:33:49.22 - 00:33:54.10] blind spots are and then examine them and figure out if they are part of the self
[00:33:54.10 - 00:33:57.07] that I want to
[00:33:57.07 - 00:34:00.20] evolve to or who i am really.
[00:34:00.20 - 00:34:01.13] That’s beautiful.
[00:34:01.13 - 00:34:05.04] I think it's one of our, sorry, I have so many thoughts about this.
[00:34:06.16 - 00:34:13.13] Um, one thing I think this is like one of our core missions to come during our
[00:34:13.13 - 00:34:19.04] lifetime to find the patterns that we have been programmed into us that are not good,
[00:34:19.04 - 00:34:23.23] that we don't think are good and break the, break the cycle so you don't pass it
[00:34:23.23 - 00:34:25.01] on to our kids.
[00:34:25.07 - 00:34:28.16] You know, I think it's like one of the main things that we, we want to do.
[00:34:29.08 - 00:34:34.04] My wife comes from a Turkish family and they're way more emotional than we were.
[00:34:34.04 - 00:34:37.16] My father brought with a friend, they brought Shambhala to Europe, which is a
[00:34:37.16 - 00:34:38.10] Buddhist religion.
[00:34:38.10 - 00:34:40.16] So there was never any yelling in our household.
[00:34:40.16 - 00:34:43.08] So when we had a fight, we talked the way we're talking right now.
[00:34:44.10 - 00:34:49.05] And, um, you know, my father always said, if you have to yell, your argument is too weak.
[00:34:49.07 - 00:34:54.11] And, um, you know, my wife used to yell at our daughter and, you know, I see this as
[00:34:54.11 - 00:34:55.04] a form of violence.
[00:34:55.04 - 00:34:55.22] So I didn't want that.
[00:34:55.22 - 00:34:57.11] So, but every time when I
[00:34:57.11 - 00:35:00.22] critiqued her while she was upset and yelling at Emma, it got even worse.
[00:35:00.22 - 00:35:04.04] You know, but when we talked about this later, she also sees that she doesn't want
[00:35:04.04 - 00:35:06.01] to do this, but it's like programmed in her.
[00:35:06.01 - 00:35:07.04] So we came up with a safe word.
[00:35:07.04 - 00:35:11.04] If I say faul de banan, which means like rotten bananas in, in German, because we
[00:35:11.04 - 00:35:13.17] stood in front of someone else as we talked about this.
[00:35:14.13 - 00:35:20.04] Then when I give it this keyword, it's easy for her to, you know, flip back to,
[00:35:20.04 - 00:35:21.02] cause I'm not critiquing her.
[00:35:21.02 - 00:35:23.22] I'm just like saying this, which reminds her of this thing that she actually
[00:35:23.22 - 00:35:25.14] doesn't want to do and it's really helped.
[00:35:25.14 - 00:35:27.05] And we, we solved that.
[00:35:27.20 - 00:35:32.22] And another thing I want to share, which is cool, which I do with my people that I
[00:35:32.22 - 00:35:38.05] work closely with on a regular basis, I ask them, what is my superpower?
[00:35:38.22 - 00:35:40.16] What am I really good at?
[00:35:40.23 - 00:35:45.05] What is something that I'm good at, but you can tell that I'm not like doing it?
[00:35:45.11 - 00:35:47.20] And what is something that I flat out suck at?
[00:35:47.22 - 00:35:52.23] And I got like some super cool, cool insights from that.
[00:35:53.11 - 00:35:57.05] So this is something you ask your friends for feedback on.
[00:35:57.05 - 00:36:00.16] Friends and business partners, co-workers, yeah.
[00:36:00.16 - 00:36:01.22] That work also with me.
[00:36:02.10 - 00:36:06.20] And David, I want to respect your time because I know you are limited.
[00:36:07.11 - 00:36:10.10] What's one thought you'd like to leave the audience with?
[00:36:12.07 - 00:36:19.10] Um, I want you to think about the areas in your life where you often act out of fear
[00:36:19.10 - 00:36:23.08] and not out of love, and then reevaluate these things.
[00:36:23.08 - 00:36:28.01] If you can not make the go, go the other route causes like made my life so much
[00:36:28.01 - 00:36:29.16] better and so much more colorful.
[00:36:30.02 - 00:36:34.05] And a trick is to listen to your emotions, like how you feel about the thing that
[00:36:34.05 - 00:36:35.11] you're doing right now.
[00:36:35.22 - 00:36:37.16] And if it feels good,
[00:36:37.16 - 00:36:40.04] Just go if it doesn't feel good to take a step back.
[00:36:40.04 - 00:36:41.14] What is what I'm doing to stay in Gestalt.
[00:36:41.14 - 00:36:46.10] I'll just take a step back and think about is this something that is the wrong thing
[00:36:46.10 - 00:36:46.19] to do?
[00:36:46.19 - 00:36:50.23] Is it against my values is against some mission or vision or is just outside of my
[00:36:50.23 - 00:36:51.19] comfort zone?
[00:36:51.19 - 00:36:57.01] And often then this helps me to just then switch into acting out of love and not out
[00:36:57.01 - 00:36:57.10] of fear.
[00:36:57.10 - 00:37:01.07] For example, my wife asking me to do some work around the house, like hang up this
[00:37:01.07 - 00:37:02.23] picture or like put this piece of furniture together.
[00:37:02.23 - 00:37:05.22] I always I hated this with a passion.
[00:37:06.07 - 00:37:09.11] I would have preferred to do my taxes over this and I always did it only out of fear
[00:37:09.11 - 00:37:11.01] to not have conflict with her.
[00:37:11.10 - 00:37:17.19] But if I switch to do that out of love because I want to make my wife happy and I
[00:37:17.19 - 00:37:21.07] want to make our place nicer, often the task is not that grueling and it's
[00:37:21.07 - 00:37:22.04] actually fun.
[00:37:22.04 - 00:37:25.13] Because if I do it with fear, then the end result is not good and then I have a fight
[00:37:25.13 - 00:37:26.11] with her afterwards.
[00:37:26.11 - 00:37:30.23] So anyhow, just think about the way you act out of love and not out of fear.
[00:37:30.23 - 00:37:31.19] And switch.
[00:37:32.06 - 00:37:41.19] David, it's been a storm of wisdom in these 39 minutes so far.
[00:37:42.19 - 00:37:49.07] I didn't expect so much takeaway value, so much humility, so much vulnerability.
[00:37:51.04 - 00:37:56.10] I would say you're a hidden force, a quiet force.
[00:37:58.22 - 00:38:00.22] With you know, incredible pockets of wisdom.
[00:38:00.22 - 00:38:07.08] And I will listen to the podcast again and try and steal as many of your power habits
[00:38:07.08 - 00:38:11.22] for powering yourself through the day as I can.
[00:38:13.04 - 00:38:14.10] So thank you for being with us.
[00:38:14.10 - 00:38:18.19] You can also join one of the next Magic Happens cohorts, then you can really see detailed
[00:38:18.19 - 00:38:22.04] how I'm running my habits.
[00:38:22.16 - 00:38:24.19] So thank you very much for having me on, Andreas.
[00:38:24.19 - 00:38:26.01] It was a real pleasure.
[00:38:27.00 - 00:38:28.08] Thank you David.
[00:38:28.08 - 00:38:30.04] And thank you to everyone who listened to us.
[00:38:30.04 - 00:38:34.13] If you liked the show, you can support us by telling your friends all about this, or
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[00:38:37.19 - 00:38:40.23] And if you prefer to watch and not just listen, you can subscribe to our YouTube
[00:38:40.23 - 00:38:46.16] channel on youtube.com slash {, the { sign, rethink culture.
[00:38:47.02 - 00:38:50.10] You can also tell us what you think about the podcast or
[00:38:50.10 - 00:38:54.17] tell us about which guests we should be inviting here by emailing
[00:38:54.17 - 00:38:57.01] rethink{rethinkculture.co.
[00:38:57.01 - 00:39:03.15] And as a parting few words, keep on leading, keep on creating a happier
[00:39:03.15 - 00:39:06.22] workplace for you and for those around you.