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The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!
[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast
Well, it's pre-Friday. It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I am Peaches.
I am Victor Wilt, and I've got something stuck in my teeth, and it's driving me crazy.
I have something stuck in my head. You ready for this?
Mm-hmm.
[Yoko Ono singing] There's a challenge right now on TikTok to listen to this as far as you can, or try to listen to this as long as you can before you go just mentally insane.
Okay.
I hate the beginning part, 'cause it sounds like something else.
[laughs] Yeah, I know. I was like, what are you turning on, Peaches?
[laughs]
Geez. So
what is it?
It's Yoko Ono. [Yoko Ono singing] It's her 22-minute long song Fly.
[laughs]
And she's supposed [Yoko Ono singing] to sound like a housefly.
Wow.
I've never heard this, even as a, a Beatles fan. I've never heard, uh, much of Yoko's solo material, I guess.
This lady right here is solely responsible for killing the Beatles.
This is art, Peaches.
Ugh.
All right? It, that's what we got going on here is some serious art.
John Lennon and Yoko Ono are both, [Yoko Ono singing] are both those ... I can't even concentrate right now. [laughs]
[laughs] Eh.
They, they will ... They're so, like, "Oh, this is art," and then them, like, uh, they're, they're so pretentious.
[laughs] What do you mean, Peaches? This is as artistic as it gets. [laughs] I bet ... I wonder how much money this song's made. Kill John Lennon. [laughs] Yeah, whoa, Peaches. Whoa. [laughs] Okay, I can't listen to it anymore either.
Come on, no.
Challenge over.
We're, we're a minute and a half in, Victor.
[laughs] The, the whole noon hour just 22 minutes of this?
Sure, yeah.
Oh, geez.
Might as well. [Yoko Ono singing]
See, that sounded more like a dolphin or something.
That sounds a little-
Yeah. Maybe you should turn Yoko off.
[laughs] [upbeat music] All righty, let's continue the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I am Peaches.
[Yoko Ono singing] No, not Yoko again.
I was just, uh, scrolling Reddit and, um, GTA fans are getting me really annoyed, if you're a Reddit user right now.
[laughs]
[Yoko Ono singing] Doesn't she sound like a dolphin? Um,
you know, there might be dolphins in GTA VI. It does take place [laughs] in Miami. Are there dolphins off the coast of Florida?
[laughs]
You love this, don't you?
This is my new favorite song. It's art. Uh, if you're just tuning in, there's a new internet challenge to listen to Yoko Ono's 22-minute song where she says she's trying to sound like a housefly.
It's just called Fly.
It's just called Fly.
[Yoko Ono singing] S- Yoko is so weird, man. [laughs] So-
I'm shocked she's still around.
[Yoko Ono singing]
[laughs] Dude.
[laughs] I needed to record 22 minutes of just babbling, upload it to Spotify. This is a song. This is my new single. It's art.
Now is she going eh, eh?
[Yoko Ono singing] [laughs]
What is going on?
This is
... Was this recorded while, uh, John Lennon was, was alive,
or is this a post-John Lennon-
Let's see here
... piece of art? [Yoko Ono singing] When was this song released? [laughs]
I'm scrolling down. [Yoko Ono singing] She has so much crap on Spotify.
[laughs] You could just Wikipedia this someplace.
Yeah, I'm just gonna Google search it.
[laughs] [Yoko Ono singing] Yeah, I have never heard this in my life.
Um-
It came out in 1971.
Okay, so it, that, that was right after the Beatles broke up. [laughs]
She's like, "I have something-"
[Yoko Ono singing]
Oh, geez. [laughs]
[laughs] Uh, well, I wanted to talk about a specific post. Should we talk about that instead?
Uh, yeah. Yeah. Let's, let's do that.
Um, some guy posted in r/Confessions three days ago, "I stole my neighbor's cat six months ago, and I watch him look for it every single day."
What?
[laughs]
That is horrible. That is horrible. What a piece of garbage.
[laughs]
That guy should be subjected to listening to nothing but Yoko Ono-
[laughs]
... in a, just an isolated cell, no windows, for m- for six months, the amount of time that guy's been without his cat. I hope that the people on Reddit are trashing him really hard. [laughs]
I, I, I'm really looking forward to the day that they add this song to Touch Tunes.
[laughs] Dude-
Every bar across America is about to ... [laughs]
Dude, I'm gonna find out. I'm gonna find out. Next time I am in one of those establishments, I'm gonna see if it, if it's available on the machine.
Just get, just get Becca with it tonight. Just like, you know, secretly put it on the soundbar.
[laughs]
Blast it at full volume.
[laughs]
Force my kids to listen to it on the ride to Pokey today. [laughs]
I can't wait for Jade to tune in and just hear this at the worst possible time.
Oh, yeah, she'll be like, "What on earth are they watching?" We're not watching anything, just listening to Yoko Ono be a-
We're listening to art.
That's right. This is art. This is Yoko being a fly.
[laughs] I love how she d- she has to pause and then t- then do this. [Yoko Ono singing]
[laughs] Okay. All right. Next, next break, Peaches. [upbeat music]
Well, Victor, going further into this guy's, uh, post here in r/confessions that we talked about on the last break. For those who are just now tuning in, the, the, the title is, "I stole my neighbor's cat six months ago, and I watch him look for it every single day."
Dude, that makes me furious, dude.
So supposedly this guy has had this small black cat that he would just leave out on the balcony for hours, regardless of the weather. "I could hear the poor thing crying through the vents-
Aw
... while he was inside blasting music or shouting at his Xbox."
[laughs]
"One night it started-"
Is this Peach's cat? [laughs]
Oh, yeah. No. I, I am a much better ca- caregiver, all right?
[laughs]
"One night it started pouring rain and the temperature dropped hard, and I saw the cat shivering on the railing-"
Oh.
"... looking miserable as heck. I just reached over from my balcony, grabbed the cat, and brought it inside. I didn't even think about it. I just reacted. The next morning, I heard him shouting in the hallway asking everyone if they had seen his pet. I just stood there with the door cracked open and told him I hadn't seen a thing, and maybe the cat finally jumped off because it was fed up with his, uh, his crap." [laughs]
Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Okay, now I'm more like, "Okay."
You talk about he, he blasted music. I wonder if he was blasting...
I bet I know what song he was blasting.
[Yoko Ono impression] Ooh.
It was Yoko Ono's Fly song.
[laughs]
[laughs]
This is actually his cat dying on the balcony.
[laughs] Oh, no. [laughs] Yeah. I think if you're mistreating your pets-
[Yoko Ono impression] Ooh, ah, ooh, ah
... Yoko is so distracting. If you're mistreating your pets, you don't deserve to have them. But it sounds like if he's been looking for it for six months, he does miss it. So maybe he learned a lesson. Maybe the guy should give the cat back to him.
[Yoko Ono impression] Ah, ah, ah.
That does kinda sound like a, a cat that might throw up.
[Yoko Ono impression] Ah, ah, ah. [retching]
[laughs]
Kill John Lennon.
Kill John Lennon.
[laughs] What is happening today?
Kill John Lennon. Kill John Lennon.
[laughs] Oh.
[Yoko Ono impression] Ah, ah.
All right. Next break, Peaches.
[laughs] [upbeat music] Victor, I need to add this to your notes for Traffic School, powered by the advocates, 'cause everybody loves when two semis drive, uh, parallel with each other-
Oh, yeah. That's great
... on the, uh, two-lane highway system-
Mm-hmm
... that is, uh, needing to be expanded. All right.
They're slowly working on it, is what I've been told.
Uh, slowly.
[laughs] Yeah.
Emphasis on slowly.
You know how they do construction around here.
Yeah. I feel like we should be playing this-
[laughs]
... while they're working, so that way they can get, uh, they can get it done faster.
[laughs] Like, you have to listen to this un- until you get the job done.
You know how on Hollywood-
You have to listen to Yoko Ono, Fly.
You know how on Hollywood Boulevard they, uh, they play opera as loud as possible to drive away the homeless people?
Mm-hmm.
Let's play this.
Yeah, this would probably work pretty good. I mean, it's driving me away from the studio. [laughs]
It's driving listeners away.
[laughs]
I'll watch the app numbers the entire hour.
Exactly. [laughs]
Yeah. What were we even talking about? I got so distracted now.
Uh, what were we talking about? There was a guy... D- diesels.
Oh.
Yeah.
Yeah. Two semi trucks driving in tandem.
Yeah.
And there was one guy who drove onto the shoulder, I feel like-
[laughs]
... or the, uh-
To go around?
To go around and slow down the trucker on the left, so that way, um, the, the guy would then cause the trucker to go behind the other semi.
Mm-hmm.
And people were wondering, is that legal?
[laughs] I'm gonna guess no. But I'll still ask Lieutenant Crain about it.
Yeah.
'Cause, uh, if somebody's impeding traffic in the left lane, as we've learned on Traffic School, powered by the advocates, if you're impeding three or more vehicles and, uh, you're, you know, going under the speed limit, you have to move over.
Right.
So if he was doing 80,
you just have to sit there and take it, and it's annoying. But if the guy was doing 79, then he needed to get over or, you know, the, the semi driver's breaking the law. But you, I don't think you can drive on the shoulder to go around. [laughs] I think you have to-
I don't know if it was the shoulder
... stay in the lane.
I think it was, like, the, uh...
Maybe it could have been the, uh-
The express lane?
... the on-ramp.
Or... Either way-
No, it's not that
... I don't think you can pass on an on-ramp. I don't know. We'll have to ask Lieutenant Crain about it on Friday.
Maybe you should play him some Yoko Ono during the program.
Oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna.
Like, please, just play this. Oh, there was a song that Katie sent me a while back. I, I, I might need to show you it off the air. Because it's, uh, it's pretty funny. It's involving a cop. It's like, uh, the, it's like a hot cop song or something like that.
Mm-hmm.
Like, and Katie's like, "You gotta get Victor to play this in Traffic School the entire time."
[laughs] All right.
Just... Well, you also gotta play this, of course, too.
Yeah. We'll, we'll get them both in the system.
[laughs]
So.
[laughs] Okay.
Jeez, Yoko.
That sound, that sounded a little, uh-
Yoko's, Yoko's out of control
... yikes. [upbeat music]
The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com.
[upbeat music]