Mystery Maniacs

🎙️ Episode:  https://share.transistor.fm/s/f34f3269
📓 Show Notes: https://midsomermaniacs.transistor.fm/225

Mystery Maniacs Episode! In Podcast 225, a crazed killer interrupts Gina’s Alligator song, does not guess Mike’s age and is not the only goth in town. Maybe there is a master class for THAT! Also, we learn Andre didn’t tug it hard enough. 

Show Notes

“How old is Mike?” polls
  • https://www.reddit.com/r/MysteryManiacs/comments/1hv0t3i/mikes_age/
  • IG Broadcast Channel
Hughes’ View

Kristin’s Coffee Maker

Frodo’s Reappearance 
Maori Dictionary
https://maoridictionary.co.nz/search?keywords=koro

The Only Goth in Brokenwood

Thanks again for listening!
 
Mark & Sarah

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Upcoming Schedule
  • January 13 - The Brokenwood Mysteries S04E02 - "Stone Cold Dead"
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Creators & Guests

Host
Mark Bell
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs
Host
Sarah Smith-Robbins
Co-host of Mystery Maniacs

What is Mystery Maniacs?

Mystery Maniacs Podcast is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to British Mystery Television. Formerly, Midsomer Maniacs podcast.

Sarah:

White chewing gum. Hey, maniacs. Hey, mystery

Mark:

maniacs. Mystery maniacs is a comedy recap podcast dedicated to mystery TV. Each week, we dig into an episode of the show including the murders, the mayhem, the loonies, and everything else we love. There's 2 murders in this episode, which is rare for broken wood. We're covering broken wood season 4 episode 1, fall from grace.

Mark:

Get it, grace? Get it, fall? I get it. Fall from grace. Get get it?

Sarah:

Get it?

Mark:

Get it? It's clean in here. It is. We had visitors to the studio.

Sarah:

So we cleaned up, which we needed to do. Welcome to 2025.

Mark:

Yes. Hope it's going well

Sarah:

for you

Mark:

so far. Of 2025.

Sarah:

I am being optimistic.

Mark:

I I think we could see some amazing, fun, super cool things in 2025.

Sarah:

Sure.

Mark:

I thought you were being optimistic.

Sarah:

Doing my best. Fake it till you make it.

Mark:

We're plunging into season 4 of Broken Wood Mysteries. This is originally, first of all, we are a spoiler podcast.

Sarah:

We're gonna ruin it.

Mark:

Fall from the murderer.

Sarah:

If you let your kids watch parachutes not go and people thumping kind of bounce onto the ground, they can listen to this.

Mark:

How old do you think a child should be allowed to parachute?

Sarah:

No. You gotta be over 18.

Mark:

You don't think if you have parental permission, you can do it younger?

Sarah:

No. I think you gotta be over 18. That's my I think it should be 18 and over. I got from this episode 18, you you have the judgment necessary, and your parents shouldn't be doing that for you.

Mark:

I got from this episode that the people who run parachuting establishments have no care about safety.

Sarah:

So I think they do. I I think

Mark:

that I think real people do. I don't think if if there was a fatality in my business

Sarah:

Oh. At my place of work Afterwards, Yeah.

Mark:

That'd be more

Sarah:

of a reaction.

Mark:

I think there would be, like, 4 or 5 days where we didn't come to work.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. I agree with you.

Mark:

And I'm a web developer. Like, I would think that before you opened up your skydiving establishment, that you would have to have a policy in place if there was an accident. If there's a fatal accident, we will be closed 3 days.

Sarah:

I I would hope that you wouldn't need to have a plan like that.

Mark:

Oh, I would think that you would have to have a plan.

Sarah:

And I would think that the regulatory agencies would enforce it anyway.

Mark:

There seems to be so many of them in this episode.

Sarah:

But that's not where we start.

Mark:

No. No. No. So this episode was originally aired on the 13th November 2016, and where it becomes important is that Helena Brooks directed this and Pippa Hall wrote it. This is our first full female creative team.

Sarah:

Awesome. Yep. We start with a birthday party.

Mark:

Oh, boy.

Sarah:

This is full Gina. This is Pedal down.

Mark:

Gina. Gina. Gina. Gina. Gina.

Mark:

Gina.

Sarah:

Does she throw this birthday party for Mike because she's a nice person or because she loves him?

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Okay. Split it. You got you got a 100%. What percentage of each? Would she have done this for Breen?

Sarah:

No. Not at all? No. Not any part of it?

Mark:

No. But I think she would go to the pub for Breen's birthday party with Trixie, but I don't think she would hold the party. Okay. I think she sees Mike as a a project that she can help.

Sarah:

I gotcha. Boys, there are a lot of pickled stuff.

Mark:

Wow. Well well, first of all, Mike arrives incredibly early or so he thinks. Yeah. He he thinks he arrives on time, but he's they've obviously told

Sarah:

She's invited everybody else to a later party.

Mark:

Other everyone else being 2 people.

Sarah:

Yeah. But they only show up a few minutes later.

Mark:

I guess. And and we're introduced to the topic, ladies and gentlemen, that has created much debate, which is how old is Mike?

Sarah:

You wanna say at the end of the episode how old we think he is?

Mark:

I think so because I have a spreadsheet

Sarah:

to explain. Well, I'm right. No. You're wrong. No.

Sarah:

That's all we'll say about it right now. No. The first thing Gina does in her Russian traditional birthday party celebration is tug his ears. Yes. Supposedly, once for each year you're born.

Mark:

Yeah. She doesn't do that.

Sarah:

She doesn't because she doesn't well, she does know how old he is. She says she does.

Mark:

She does.

Sarah:

But it would she'd be there for a while if she was tugging his ears once for each birth. Do you when you were a kid, was there a tradition of you get a spank for each year you are old?

Mark:

They had these things called bumps where you bumped person's knee into your backside, and that was what

Sarah:

it was. Like, you held them from behind and, like, kicked them with your knee in their butt?

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Oh, we never did that. There was a you get a spank for each of you all day, but it never happened.

Mark:

It never happens.

Sarah:

But it was kind of a, oh, you're gonna get the spanking.

Mark:

But We don't really make child abuse jokes anymore. I'm glad we've moved on from that

Sarah:

as a society. When Kristen and Breen show up Yeah. Gina almost immediately goes into the singing happy birthday.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And has phonetic translations of the traditional Russian birthday song for them.

Mark:

She is printed out for them.

Sarah:

Yes. She's prepared.

Mark:

She is.

Sarah:

She's put some thought into this party. It's a nice party.

Mark:

Super prepared.

Sarah:

There's food. There's activities there's bodies falling from the sky.

Mark:

So this is this becomes a nightmare and a nightmare in the sense of anyone who's had let's say numerous partners in the past There's always a kind of radar that you have.

Sarah:

Especially if they show up dead.

Mark:

Now you do some things to mitigate this radar, like move to another country. But, yeah, you the the thought of a person from my past

Sarah:

Falling out of the sky.

Mark:

Out of the sky.

Sarah:

At a party.

Mark:

At a part wow.

Sarah:

Before we get to that, though, about this birthday song.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

If we have any Russian listeners or people who have Russian cultural background and wanna correct me on this, they can. Excellent. I did a lot of research.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Trying to find what the most traditional Russian birthday song is. Now they do sing the traditional happy birthday song that we would know.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

But the song that is, as far as my research, most uniquely traditional to Russia Okay. Is a song called Gina the crocodile's b day song birthday song. So No. It's not. Yes.

Sarah:

It is.

Mark:

No. It's not.

Sarah:

And Gina the crocodile is a cartoon character

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Who is much beloved in Russia.

Mark:

And Is is she also a forensic specialist?

Sarah:

No. But I told you there was a secret Gina in this episode. Yes. So it's fitting that Gina is the one who brings this song. I will now read the lyrics.

Mark:

Is this a dramatic reading of the lyrics?

Sarah:

Yes. I'm not gonna sing them because I don't know the tune. Okay. Keep in mind, this is a birthday song that they sing at birthday parties to this day. Alright?

Sarah:

Let them jump, also clumsy, skipping over some puddles. All the water at streams down the street, never mind, all the people never learned how to love this rainy day and be happy like me. And, now, I'm playing my accordion in front of strangers on the street. It's so sad someone's birthday can only be once a year. So so far, we have a rainy day.

Sarah:

Yep. People are down because it's raining, but it's somebody's birthday.

Mark:

But they're sad that it's only one birthday, and there's accordion music.

Sarah:

And I'm playing my accordion in front of strangers.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Okay. Then it takes a turn. Suddenly flies a wizard in a blue whirlybird

Mark:

Way now.

Sarah:

Over me showing movies for free.

Mark:

That's not the real lyrics.

Sarah:

He'll say making that up. No. I'm not. He'll say congratulations disappear in a second, leaving 500 popsicles behind.

Mark:

Does he fall from the sky? Look

Sarah:

at it. No. He's playing movies for free.

Mark:

Okay. With pops icles.

Sarah:

In a split second. 5 minutes pops. Movies and leaves popsicles behind. And now I'm playing my accordion in front of strangers on the street. It's so sad someone's birthday can only be once a year.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Suddenly flies a wizard in a blue whirlybird. What's a whirlybird?

Mark:

I don't

Sarah:

Is that like a manual helicopter?

Mark:

I guess.

Sarah:

Pedal or something?

Mark:

Wow. That is some

Sarah:

I think he turns into the 500 popsicles.

Mark:

Fever dream of a song.

Sarah:

Yeah. It's raining. People are sad. I have an accordion. Then there's a wizard.

Sarah:

He shows movies. Then he leaves popsicles, and then I'm playing my accordion again. Happy birthday.

Mark:

Happy birthday.

Sarah:

That's, I think, the song that they are about to sing. Wow. The ex who falls from the sky is Andre Barrington, and he is skydiving with his family.

Mark:

I I love how this is such a Gina episode because even the little things are Gina, where Mike's like, I hear they lose consciousness.

Sarah:

And she's like No. They don't. No. He would have felt all of it. Everything.

Sarah:

Andre is the dead body.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And Kristen's ex boyfriend. Yes. His brother, Felix. Yes. Andre's fiancee, Grace.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And Andre's mother, Lorraine.

Mark:

Now, we need

Sarah:

to face and hair are styled by skydiving.

Mark:

We need

Sarah:

Everything's going back fast tight.

Mark:

We need to be clear that everyone involved with this episode who is not a regular are the most horrible people on the place of Horrible. They're

Sarah:

horrible people. We also get to meet Nina Jacobs who is the safety officer at the skydiving center.

Mark:

Who for some reason I thought did it for, like, a lot of this episode.

Sarah:

Well, we watch too many of these shows. They immediately take her into their trust and treat her like a source of information Yes. Even though she should be a suspect.

Mark:

Yes. Because And

Sarah:

so you're suspicious of her because it's like, why are they trusting her so much? They should they be?

Mark:

Because other than Frodo and Breen, I think Andre's banging everybody.

Sarah:

Frodo's not bringing everybody. What?

Mark:

Other than Frodo and Breen Oh. I think Andre's banging everybody else.

Sarah:

Not his not his brother or his mom.

Mark:

When you make a funny statement, it's called a joke.

Sarah:

Okay. Okay. I'm just looking at my cast list here. Yeah. And there's only 3 people on there that Andre's banged.

Mark:

I I was just

Sarah:

Before he went bang himself.

Mark:

Making a joke.

Sarah:

3rd.

Mark:

I watched the the crash several times because usually when you skydive, you're face down Mhmm. And yet he lands face up. And it is difficult to see from the the landing shot,

Sarah:

well, I think. All I know is I really, really, really hate heights. This is worse than the spider episode for me.

Mark:

The ending, and we'll get to the very, very end, I'd I still am a 100% not sure how they did it.

Sarah:

Yeah. Well, he lands on his back Yes. Which is convenient because Kristen can recognize his face.

Mark:

My my first comment is, would there not be a blood splatter?

Sarah:

His suit's keeping all of the goo in.

Mark:

I guess so.

Sarah:

I think when you unzip the suit, it just goes blah and, like, falls out, wouldn't it?

Mark:

And Fern Sutherland does some good acting here. Yeah. Like, she's

Sarah:

She always does.

Mark:

She's definitely looks upset. And then they call the Canadian Automotive Association.

Sarah:

Is that what the CAA stands for?

Mark:

Guess so. And the New Zealand Parachute Club.

Sarah:

No. It's the New Zealand Parachute Industry Association. What's the CAA? Is that the FAA?

Mark:

I guess it's like the FAA. They do an excellent job. The writer does an excellent job of weaving in a lot of explanation and and a lot of exposition into their multiple interviews

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

Without it feeling like an information dump.

Sarah:

They get to refer to information that that these other groups have gathered and conveyed back to them without us having to see all those interactions take place.

Mark:

Yep. But it it does have the feeling of, I researched how skydiving works online, but I've never actually been to a skydiving establishment before.

Sarah:

I don't know. They've got the skateboards.

Mark:

He's very busy. He's a very busy young man.

Sarah:

It is true though that in an accident like this, there are official organizations who are going to be involved, and I'm glad that Nina says, I've called them. They're on their way. Yep. Like, that's how it would work.

Mark:

I also like that that Mike immediately calls the boss. Yes. Because it should be Kristen should be off this right away.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

But but he immediately calls the boss to explain the situation. But we don't care at this point because

Sarah:

Because Hughes is standing in front of a window in his office.

Mark:

He's in front of a window with real buildings behind him, and we're like, I need to know where that

Sarah:

is. So one of the buildings has the word Lumacy on it.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And the other one has some kind of logo on it.

Mark:

Lumacy Insurance. Okay. I know exactly where this building is because I spent too much time looking at maps of Auckland in downtown and figuring out that he is somewhere on the 8th to 10th floor of 55 Shortland Street, the Shortland Center.

Sarah:

What's what else is in the Shortland Center?

Mark:

It's a multiuse building.

Sarah:

So they just rented an office there?

Mark:

Assuming either they rented an office or it's part of the production studio, production offices.

Sarah:

Okay. But you don't know whether they're production companies in that building?

Mark:

No. Could not find any information about

Sarah:

recall us being able to see that behind him before. Percent the building. Yeah. Like, we've seen him in his office, and I remember there being a window behind him, but I don't remember being able to make out buildings like that.

Mark:

That is definitely where he

Sarah:

is. It's odd that that he's in a high rise.

Mark:

I'm, like, doing, like, walking around these buildings in Google Maps, looking up, looking around.

Sarah:

If only the street view lets you go into the public areas of the building Oh

Mark:

my gosh.

Sarah:

You would have been creeping along hallways.

Mark:

Then I would know for sure. But yeah. I

Sarah:

think it's unlikely that it's just a photo on the outside of a piece of glass. I think that's where he is.

Mark:

I think that's where he is. I don't know why they would go to the the extent of photo, but, again, the special effects in this episode are weird.

Sarah:

They're good. Yeah. They're strangely good. Yep. And they actually have skydivers and a cameraman with a parachute film and stuff.

Sarah:

Like, it's not a small budget episode.

Mark:

Yes. Definitely not.

Sarah:

And then the end, wow, we'll get there. Yeah. Okay.

Mark:

So all through this episode, we're trying to find out how old Mike is. And we include clues from the party because Breen asked if it starts with a 4, a 5, or a 6.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

So we know that it's in the range of 40 to 6.

Sarah:

Well, nobody thought he was 25 No. Or 85.

Mark:

But he drops a crowded house reference here Yeah. Which is weird. Like, it's so incredibly specific.

Sarah:

And it's not his kind of music.

Mark:

It's not his kind of music. Now like the tragically hip in Canada, I think homegrown bands are are more loved by more people than you realize.

Sarah:

Are crowded house from New Zealand?

Mark:

No. They're from Australia.

Sarah:

Okay. But Close?

Mark:

Close. I would imagine they get played on the radio quite a bit. The song he makes reference to is fall at your feet, the 4th track on 1990 one's Wooden Face.

Sarah:

Now I get the joke. See, I couldn't figure out what crowded house song it was, and I know I don't know that song. So fall at your feet makes sense. Yeah. I get it.

Sarah:

Kristen doesn't get it. No. She's like, okay, grandpa.

Mark:

I had seen crowded house 4 years prior to that.

Sarah:

Then we get to the plot line in this episode that is my very, very favorite

Mark:

part

Sarah:

of the episode which is the stolen taxidermy. It introduces so many mysteries that are never resolved. So many weird people. Sydney Simpson

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Who apparently is a taxidermist slash travel agent slash laterhosen collector

Mark:

What?

Sarah:

Shows up and says his taxidermy has been stolen. He has a binder with photos. They are all white Yes. And they all start with a d.

Mark:

There is so much that is white in this episode. This is the whitey white episode.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There is a deer.

Sarah:

Yep. A doe. Yep. A dog. Yep.

Sarah:

And a duck. And they're all white. They're all white. And later, there's a ferret. Doesn't start with a d, but it's white.

Sarah:

Why does he why does he tell Sims that he has lederhosen?

Mark:

I don't know. Why is he a travel agent?

Sarah:

Why does he have lederhosen?

Mark:

I don't know.

Sarah:

He didn't say I've got good deals on trips to Germany.

Mark:

Okay. Why does the only goth in broken world steal all this stuff?

Sarah:

Because he's super dumb. He steals taxidermy, which is only sentimentally worth anything, and then he steals from a crime scene. Like, those are the Who is the dumbest crimes? Driving.

Mark:

Smoking their clove cigarettes. Going, I know where I'll rob. I'll rob.

Sarah:

I'll go to the travel agent.

Mark:

The travel agent.

Sarah:

And steal really poorly executed taxidermy.

Mark:

Now I won't go to the dairy next door, which will have money and goods. Yeah.

Sarah:

No. Wait a minute. What do you you think he should steal cheese instead of taxidermy?

Mark:

Well, there's ice cream. And then after that failed operation, gothy mc McBrokenwood goes, hey. I bet you there's lots of cool stuff at the skydiving place.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. You know? Because they're known for being techie. He should he should break into the police station next.

Sarah:

He's dumb. He's so stupid. But he is the only goth in Broken Wood. He's gotta be.

Mark:

Then we meet mister Dean Young, who I don't think is is perhaps the least empathetic human being on the planet.

Sarah:

It's hard to empathize with him, and he has no empathy. Though he is of a type that feels familiar to me.

Mark:

But he's also mister and we've seen this trope in many shows. I know that on the morning of the murder, I had a big fight with the person and said, I'll kill you if you go in that airplane, but I didn't think it was relevant.

Sarah:

I'll decide what's relevant. That's what every cop has to say.

Mark:

I'm just gonna keep it to myself until you ask me about it.

Sarah:

I can't imagine as big of an asshole as Andre is that he and Dean could tolerate each other for 10 seconds. They would be out alpha ing each other constantly. It would be whose is bigger all the time. I cannot imagine that they could be business partners.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

I It doesn't work that way. You need one person who's really an expert in the business, so, like, a brewer

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

To hook up with an entrepreneur like Dean. Yep. Not 2 entrepreneurs, neither of which knows anything about the business starting a business.

Mark:

They sure have shiny taps. When when Trudy and Ray are the smart business people in your episode, there is a problem. The fact that Trudy and Ray are making improvements on one bar while making like, working in the other bar and building a brand, the brand of

Sarah:

Amphibian plus cat.

Mark:

Amphibian plus cat. That all that kinda makes a weird crazy sense.

Sarah:

How many bars could they have in Brokenwood though? How many bars could they have in 4. Remember?

Mark:

They said there were 4 of them.

Sarah:

Could they own?

Mark:

No. Ex I

Sarah:

mean, I guess they're going for the monopoly.

Mark:

I guess. But at least they're doing, like, Brokenwood Bar or Brokenwood Bar. Andre and and Dean are, like, we're gonna have 15 franchises across the country. Dude, get one up and running. You can't even get your toilets working.

Sarah:

They can't pay their bills. Yeah. Which is why Kahu is upset.

Mark:

Kahu? Who's Kahu? We'll get there. Kahu

Sarah:

is the brother of Jared's cousin. Yes. That's who he is.

Mark:

Is he not Jared's cousin? No. Is he not Jared's second cousin?

Sarah:

Nope. Okay. So they're at the toad and lion, and Frodo makes his big appearance. Froats. I had nothing to do with that dead guy.

Sarah:

I just want you to know.

Mark:

Froats literally shows up to go. I didn't do it. And

Sarah:

I didn't work there because they wouldn't hire me, and I didn't kill him. Yeah. But Kimberly got hired, but he pulled her ponytail.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Did dudes pull ladies ponytails? Why? Like, what do you think the context of that is?

Mark:

I don't

Sarah:

like, if you were fighting a woman and you wanted to grab her, you might grab her hair and her ponytail might be convenient. But you certainly couldn't do it in jest in any way.

Mark:

Yeah. It just seems really weird. So then Breen

Sarah:

We will see Frodo again in this episode.

Mark:

You said that, but I don't remember where.

Sarah:

I will tell you Okay. When we get there. It's a secret Frodo sighting.

Mark:

Breen asks if Mike is maybe during or January. Holy Oaks PMship.

Sarah:

Yes. Now Just 1960 to 1972. But

Mark:

there was a brief period in 1957 when he was also prime minister.

Sarah:

Yeah. For a few weeks or months. I don't know. Very short time. He's not that old.

Sarah:

That would make him, like, 70.

Mark:

I included it in in In your spreadsheet. In the spreadsheet just

Sarah:

to see. Your your useless spreadsheet because it's very clear how old he is.

Mark:

No. It is very clear that you're wrong about how old he is.

Sarah:

We shall see.

Mark:

Okay. So Ray and his sister run this bar that only sells cat related Pilsners. Yes. Because remember, a few episodes ago, there was a poster that advertised one of

Sarah:

those Screaming eagle beer.

Mark:

Screaming eagle, there was the the one that was the Rex cat that was the this one is bermilla pilsner, made in the Bay of Plenty. Bermilla? Bermilla.

Sarah:

Okay.

Mark:

That's another type of cat.

Sarah:

Okay.

Mark:

So other posters on the wall include Wednesday night rib special. Did you see how much the rib special was? You get a half rack of ribs for $19 with chips and a veg.

Sarah:

That's a lot.

Mark:

Yep. It is.

Sarah:

For a special.

Mark:

It is. Later on, there's another poster that gets really interesting and weird, but there are 2 things later on in the bar that I wanna talk about. But that that the the people making posters for this show Are

Sarah:

having fun.

Mark:

Are having fun making cat related alcohol.

Sarah:

Yes. Well, the posters that are in the cop shop are not overtly funny, but they're obviously goofs on the kinds of posters that

Mark:

would be in a cop shop. About vandalism and Graffiti. Graffiti.

Sarah:

Yeah. We find out, as you've already referred to, that Nina had an affair with Andre.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Is and so oh, I forgot one. So Nina has slept with, assuming that they had that kind of relationship, Kristen?

Mark:

Yes. Grace Yes. Nina has no. No. Nina hasn't slept with

Sarah:

these people. Nina?

Mark:

No. No. You said Nina has slept with the Falmouth.

Sarah:

Oh, no. Sorry. Andre Andre. Has slept with Kristen

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Grace Yes. Nina and Kimberly

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

The waitress. Yep. 4. That's 4. That's all of the women in the episode except missus Marlow, Gina

Mark:

Felix. Women. Okay.

Sarah:

And Miata. Yes.

Mark:

Well, and Trudy.

Sarah:

And Lorraine. Trudy. And well, we don't know. We assume we assume not.

Mark:

Trudy is a bit of a goer.

Sarah:

So It's Trudy. Who knows what Trudy is up to? Yes. The Barrington House grosses me out to the max.

Mark:

Okay. This house, first of all, is a McMansion outside of town. It takes an hour to walk there.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

Okay. Felix, you left town. It takes an hour to walk there, and you're still eating your kebab when you get there. Like, how slow are you?

Sarah:

Maybe he got it at a food truck on the way.

Mark:

There's no food truck out there. It's Turkish.

Sarah:

Who knows?

Mark:

Random Turkish kebab truck

Sarah:

on the

Mark:

side of the road.

Sarah:

They move around. They're trucks. Maybe it saw him and went, he's gonna be hungry. Let's follow him.

Mark:

So it's a McMansion outside of town that is devoid of color and full of pictures of Andre And Lorraine. And Lorraine.

Sarah:

But the thing that grosses me out most and I had a friend like this when I was a kid. The thing that grosses me out most about this house is that every room is decorated that way.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Every bedroom is decorated that way. Meaning, that either Lorraine or some interior designer designed the entire house, even the bedrooms that that belong to individuals, they don't get to choose what their furniture is. Everybody's got white Rococo beds. White Rococo or not.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

It's so hideous.

Mark:

I also think that this is a fable of the dangers of having adult children live with you, brought to you by the adult children who live with me.

Sarah:

Which is what? That you decorate their rooms for them?

Mark:

No. That things weird things happen.

Sarah:

Oh, that if you let your adult kids live with you, one of them will get murdered? I guess. Okay. That 2 of them will conspire to kill a third one and then you?

Mark:

I guess.

Sarah:

Are we next? This is your theory. You said it. Ugh. The the house is just, I just I just wanna spill Kool Aid in there.

Sarah:

I

Mark:

just wanna take ketchup and mustard, and I don't like mustard, and put it everywhere. Oops.

Sarah:

I wanna let Olive go hang out there for an hour. That'd teach him.

Mark:

But okay. So, yes, it's a McMansion, and we have really big rooms downstairs. Right? And Lorraine's room is really big, but that upstairs hallway is rink a ding ding.

Sarah:

Yeah. It's tight. It's way too tight. It's like they forgot that they needed a hallway, and they had to squeeze it in.

Mark:

I I guess. But, you know, after you've killed your mother-in-law and you need some sex, it's the house for you.

Sarah:

I wonder if it's like, a a show house. You know how like, if when there's they start to build a new neighborhood, they'll have the model Yes. And they decorate it so you can see what the houses look like. I wonder if it's like that.

Mark:

Like, in real life or

Sarah:

in the show?

Mark:

Yeah. Yeah. In real

Sarah:

if that's what they used for

Mark:

the house. Totally what they used.

Sarah:

Because that's the only scenario where I can think you would decorate every room the same. But even then, you'd have, like, a kid's room decorated like a kid's room, so you can imagine it being your

Mark:

kid's room. Think Felix would want his race car bed. Yeah. Then we

Sarah:

get to meet

Mark:

I did I did wanna say that this episode is fantastic. I love the Gina parts of it. There's all sorts of interesting things.

Sarah:

Taxidermy goths.

Mark:

Taxidermy goths. I think they maybe are a little fast and loose with alcoholism in the family.

Sarah:

Yeah. Yeah. Felix is just a waste.

Mark:

Like, he needs help.

Sarah:

Yeah. He does. And not knives. No. He's supposed to be a chef.

Sarah:

We never see him cook anything. Not a thing. Like, if he's upset and that's his passion, you'd think he would be cooking something.

Mark:

And the thing is Mike has an interview with him in the kitchen. He could be doing the other thing about Felix is he never changes. The only time he's out of costume is when he's out of costume.

Sarah:

Well, Lorraine looks like she's been completely styled by skydiving, and so does Felix. He's got bed head throughout the whole episode. She looks like she lives in a wind tunnel.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And he looks like he's been noogied. Yes. Then we get to meet Kahu. Yes. The new Jared.

Mark:

The new Jared.

Sarah:

Who puts the moves on Kristen. He is smooth. He is okay. He brings sushi.

Mark:

Yeah. He shows up to be interviewed. He gets her to eat with him, and he learns as much from her as he she learns from him.

Sarah:

Though I don't want coffee and sushi.

Mark:

That's I don't know. I don't eat sushi.

Sarah:

It it cold food, hot drink. I mean, green tea, maybe?

Mark:

But Maybe.

Sarah:

No. And gas station sushi, maybe? I don't know what that is.

Mark:

Maybe.

Sarah:

But, yeah, he's he's smooth.

Mark:

They do a great job of Kristen going, but he has a kid on the way. And Breen is like, little brother Breen, go, no. He doesn't.

Sarah:

That's his sister. He's got his own plumbing business.

Mark:

Did you see what the name of his plumbing business was?

Sarah:

It's not Kahu's Plumbing.

Mark:

So what's his name? Kahu. Kahu.

Sarah:

Taylor.

Mark:

Yes. His plumbing business is called tailored to you Oh. With the number 2

Sarah:

and the letter u. That might be okay if he was a tailor. I thought it would be like Taylor's tubes. No. Nope.

Mark:

It's tailored to you plumbing, and he is owed 1,000 of dollars. He has a nice little logo. They did a good job on that.

Sarah:

Yeah. It's good.

Mark:

Because I read every piece of his paperwork that I could.

Sarah:

Well, he's taking an online tennis class.

Mark:

Yes. So okay. So you are

Sarah:

That he's, like, really invested, and he spends the whole night watching Serena Williams' tennis videos.

Mark:

And you are naturally expected to go, that's a goofy thing.

Sarah:

Yeah. Who takes a tennis class online via video?

Mark:

There's a video tennis class for master class taught by

Sarah:

Serena Williams. It exists.

Mark:

It exists. So How do you learn to play tennis?

Sarah:

By watching videos.

Mark:

By watching videos.

Sarah:

You learn the rules of it.

Mark:

Yeah. Totally. Which is a let's let's be really good. Let's be really good. You mean pedantic.

Mark:

That's a 40 minutes.

Sarah:

Yes. Yeah. It's not all night I was involved in my master class.

Mark:

No. Like, master class, which is a brand on itself, is like Stephen King teaches you how to write horror novels.

Sarah:

Novels. Mhmm.

Mark:

He's a guy who writes a lot of horror novels, and teaching you how to write horror novels is a thing that you could lecture about. Yep. These are lecture based classes.

Sarah:

Yep.

Mark:

Right? Tennis is not a lecture based learning

Sarah:

experience. Have a gymnastics class.

Mark:

I have a Simone Billier.

Sarah:

I mean, she's making money. Simone Biles is getting paid.

Mark:

Yep. She is. I'm I'm glad, but I'd I'm I'm worried they have a parachuting class. They don't Andrei fail.

Sarah:

If it was coaching tennis or coaching gymnastics, I can see it. If it was scoring gymnastics, I can see it, but not how to tumble.

Mark:

I totally understand. Like, the Wayne Gretzky 1 is the sport mindset. Mhmm. That is something that Wayne Gretzky can talk for 10, 15 hours about. Yep.

Mark:

Absolutely. But, Jim, it it led me to think of what other things should not be taught via master classes. All the

Sarah:

things I thought of, they actually have classes on already. So

Mark:

I'm like nuclear weapon self assembly. Yes. Submarine piloting.

Sarah:

Yeah. What? Skydiving. Astronaut. What?

Sarah:

The next scene we've got Mike with Gina at the coroner's office. Yes. And she's laying down some Russian idioms because this is Gina to the max. Yep. The age of a fish is of no importance, only the taste.

Mark:

I don't like fish, but I disagree. Because I don't wanna eat old fish.

Sarah:

But what if it tastes good?

Mark:

I don't care. It's old fish.

Sarah:

Every culture has weird idioms.

Mark:

Yes. They do.

Sarah:

I looked up a few more Russian ones.

Mark:

Okay. I'll lay them on you. Are you ready? Okay.

Sarah:

I'm gonna try to work these into a sentence Okay. So you can hear what they would sound like, and I'm not gonna do a Russian accent. I did take Russian for a few years.

Mark:

This is not the Boris bad enough.

Sarah:

No. I can't do it. I can't do it. Let's see. You're gonna have to edit some here.

Sarah:

I got interviewed by the police, and I didn't wanna tell them what happened. So I just hung some noodles in their ears.

Mark:

Okay. Hanging

Sarah:

noodles on somebody's ears is telling them lies.

Mark:

Okay. Mhmm. K.

Sarah:

You can't believe everything that that Mark says. He milks chickens.

Mark:

I do not milk chickens.

Sarah:

Saying that somebody milks chickens, so it means that that they exaggerate and don't believe everything that they say. But my favorite is if you keep talking to me like that, I'm gonna show you where crawfish hibernate.

Mark:

Are they all fish related?

Sarah:

No. There's noodles. Oh, yes. And chickens. That's weird.

Sarah:

Saying, I'm gonna show you where crawfish hibernate goes it goes to it's a reference to the life cycle of crawfish Yes. And that that they hibernate in hard to reach places Yes. When the water is frozen. And Russian landlords whose peasants owed them money would punish them by making them go crawfish hunting in the winter. It's a punishment for a crime.

Sarah:

It's like sleeping with the fishes, I guess.

Mark:

I guess.

Sarah:

Or concrete shoes. It's it's upon it's it's like the worst punishment you can give somebody is to make them hunt crawfish in the winter.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

So saying, I'm gonna show you where the crawfish hibernate. I over explained it. I'm sorry. I sucked the fun out of it.

Mark:

No. It's weird.

Sarah:

You're gonna hang noodles on your ears. I'm a wizard. I show movies for free.

Mark:

I realized that my face looks like I've been skydiving. I realized that I'm a horrible person with awful taste, and I realized that I haven't even run read my son's papers. But we need to have a memorial, and Kristen needs to talk.

Sarah:

Oh, it's so awkward. It's so awkward. Oh. They do a really good job. And you it's subtle, but all of this happens in, like, a 2 day period.

Sarah:

All of it. Like, Andre dies early in the morning on the first day

Mark:

Yep.

Sarah:

And it all wraps up in the evening on the second day. Yep. Or maybe the 3rd day.

Mark:

Maybe.

Sarah:

That's it.

Mark:

Oh, yeah.

Sarah:

So they say something about having a memorial, and then they do it that day.

Mark:

And it's a business meeting. They have franchisees from Auckland there.

Sarah:

Lorraine is the worst. The worst. And meanwhile, Grace is an ER doctor who's been kicked out of the profession because she burnt out. I don't even know what that means.

Mark:

And and she is like Grace is like, I have a nicotine patch. I need a cigarette. Where's my heroin? Like, chewing gum.

Sarah:

I got bruises on my arm. Well but, you know, we spoil. She's the killer. So, yeah, she's on edge. And And right now, she's only killed one person, and she's on edge.

Mark:

I gotta think

Sarah:

She needs her adrenaline fixed, Mark.

Mark:

I gotta think that even though she's an adrenaline junkie and is mashing on that nicotine gum like a crazy person, that she would feel bad about what Andre was doing and not show off her bruises.

Sarah:

She's not thinking. When she takes that jacket off, she's not thinking. She regrets it immediately.

Mark:

I guess. Yeah. That makes sense.

Sarah:

She's so strung out. And as a doctor, she should recognize those things in herself, but she clearly is not a good doctor.

Mark:

So what do you need to do to make the after memorial more awkward?

Sarah:

Oh, Lorraine needs to get drunk and show up at Kristen's house. You're at my house.

Mark:

Like, what?

Sarah:

Any of your ex girlfriend's moms to show up at your house? No. Drop? No. No.

Sarah:

No. But there's a really important clue in this scene. Not only are we seeing the inside of Kristen's house, we get to see her kitchen.

Mark:

And her bookshelf.

Sarah:

More importantly, we get to see her $600

Mark:

espresso machine. She still makes bad coffee.

Sarah:

Kristen can't make coffee, and she's buying a $600 ILLI espresso machine Yep. In a custom color to match her cabinets. I looked that baby up. ILLI doesn't even make coffee makers.

Mark:

No. They only make espresso makers.

Sarah:

Well, they make moka pots too, which is fancy coffee for poor people. Yes. Like, if you can only afford a $100 coffee pot and you can have a moka pot that you have to put on the stove. That is one fancy ass espresso machine

Mark:

Yes. It is indeed.

Sarah:

For somebody who can't make coffee, and she's more practical than that. I don't think she would buy something like that just to show off.

Mark:

I also think if she was reading, she would be sitting on the couch, not in her kitchen.

Sarah:

She's reading paperwork and highlighting it. It's hard to highlight in your lap. But this brings me to a conspiracy theory I have about Kristen.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

She makes really bad coffee at work. Right? Yes. But clearly, she makes very good coffee at home.

Mark:

Maybe she's trying to get out of making the coffee.

Sarah:

Yes. Oh.

Mark:

This shit?

Sarah:

She knows how to make coffee.

Mark:

She she certainly does if she has that coffee maker.

Sarah:

Or maybe she can only make it with a really good machine, and they got a crappy machine at work.

Mark:

I guess so. So let's just cover Lorraine's last 48 hours. K?

Sarah:

She went skydiving with her family. Her son went

Mark:

Thud. Thud. She dealt with all the police. She found the will. Mhmm.

Mark:

Where was the will? She arranges

Sarah:

a memorial service and franchisee meeting. Well, first, she finds out that her has that her son cut her out of the business, and then she finds the will.

Mark:

Okay. This is the problem I have with this. Okay. It says that she is cut out of the business. Mhmm.

Mark:

But she inherits everything of his. Yeah. Is she not back in the business then? She

Sarah:

is. But not until she sees the well.

Mark:

But Dean is acting like she's out of the business completely.

Sarah:

Because he doesn't know what's in the well.

Mark:

He he clearly doesn't know.

Sarah:

Dean's got muddy pants. He does. So Do you think he would leave the house with pants like that? No way. He probably has extra pants in his car.

Mark:

I would think so. So Breen goes to find out what Trudy was up to because Trudy writes craft beer sucks.

Sarah:

That's you x. Trudy and her brother are like a Berlin Wall silence. Like, wouldn't you like to find out? Where were you last night? You're the detective.

Mark:

Yep. Like,

Sarah:

I'm not telling you.

Mark:

And I'm like, what's on the counter? What's in the boat? What are those posters?

Sarah:

So Why is she testing paint on a ladder?

Mark:

Why is she testing paint in the public's place where your business is going?

Sarah:

Instead of, like, down below the bar? In the back room. You know you know this from personal experience.

Mark:

I do. I do.

Sarah:

People who can't decide on on paint colors

Mark:

I do.

Sarah:

Put the put the test patches

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

In the worst places.

Mark:

Yes. Yes.

Sarah:

People who are decisive, just choose a color.

Mark:

Yes. Mhmm. And and people aren't married anymore.

Sarah:

If you can't decide between two colors, then it doesn't matter which one you use. Yes. That's the that's the truth.

Mark:

Yep. One of the posters is a new one here. It's for the only Holly Collins tribute band.

Sarah:

Oh, because she's dead.

Mark:

Because she's dead. That's a deep cut.

Sarah:

Yeah. That is.

Mark:

Man, that's a season ago reference. Yeah. So they're they're They're on fun.

Sarah:

They're on their game.

Mark:

These posters. And then on the bar is honey trap honey. Like, they're selling it for the honey trap. I think that's a reference to a future episode.

Sarah:

I think it is too. I think it is. They have a lot of taps.

Mark:

They the at the new bar, they have a lot

Sarah:

of taps. A dozen taps.

Mark:

Including the gluten free beer. Who's is it Breen who goes, what's the point?

Sarah:

No. I mean, at the the Tadpole and Lion.

Mark:

They do.

Sarah:

They have a ton of taps.

Mark:

There's lots of taps. Well, that's a common pub thing to have lots of taps. But as opposed to midsummer, you can never see what's on their taps.

Sarah:

Trudy has an alibi. She's playing poker at the old folks' home.

Mark:

Stealing money from the old men?

Sarah:

You think, oh, well, she just goes and plays cards. They probably pay for pay for peanuts or something. No.

Mark:

No. No. She's stealing their money.

Sarah:

It is a money making venture for Trudy. Yep. She can say she's doing a good deed and make some money off the old folks.

Mark:

Missus m confirms that.

Sarah:

What's in missus m's box? She says it's one of her crafts and taps the box.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

Because she's in that lady's craft circle. Right? Yep. Where they're always making stuff? Yep.

Sarah:

She knitter? She's an embroiderer? What is she sending off?

Mark:

I don't know. But I

Sarah:

I have I imagine that she's, like, embroidering crime scene photos in in on the doilies or something.

Mark:

What is a weird jarring moment is now we hear Lorraine is dead.

Sarah:

Because Kristen had to tuck her former asshole ex boyfriend's mom into her McMansion bed.

Mark:

Now that does so much so weird.

Sarah:

Because she's so drunk. Yeah. And then we're supposed to think Lorraine cut her wrist with nail scissors. The most useless scissors in your house.

Mark:

Like, the and they're just kinda set on there. Like

Sarah:

Like, in her hand.

Mark:

Yeah. Like, they show up and they're like, this is not suicide.

Sarah:

No. Well, there's I don't wanna offend anybody, but it has got to be hard to slit your second wrist when your first wrist is bleeding.

Mark:

Gina makes valid points. Like, Gina's s Gina's information provides a valid solution to the problem of it's not suicide.

Sarah:

Yeah. But, like, to use those tiny scissors, you'd have to grip them in your fist and basically stab them into your arm and then drag them down, which means that hand no longer has the strength to do it to the other one. Yeah. Though, I will say, as someone who owns several pipe cutters, I've got a problem with that too.

Mark:

Well, that the pipe cutters work because of, like, scissors. Right?

Sarah:

To cut the line, but not to cut a wrist. Yeah. They're not sharp like that.

Mark:

No. No. And she she takes the pipe cutters apart, but she's not like

Sarah:

She's not sharpening it. Nobody knows what that motion is you just did with your hands.

Mark:

That's the sound of sharpening.

Sarah:

If you own a huge McMansion like this, why do you keep your trash cans and your muddy bikes right next to the front door? Right next to it.

Mark:

As a dad, I was like, stop leaving your bikes by the front door.

Sarah:

And don't they have a garage for the trash cans? Come on.

Mark:

Think. And why didn't he say, oh, I saw Kristen leave?

Sarah:

Yeah. Felix is standing right there.

Mark:

I don't know why he didn't say that because that would have provided him an alibi.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

Now we have to explain what happened. Grace in her rage. Hulky Grace. Right? Takes apart the pipe cutters.

Mark:

Mhmm. Sharpens them. And then goes in, and this is in the middle of the night. Right? 2 to 4 AM, I think.

Mark:

Mhmm. She's that mad that she goes in and surgically slits her wrist.

Sarah:

Why is she mad at Lorraine?

Mark:

I don't I don't know.

Sarah:

She's not. I don't know. She's a psychopath. She just wants to kill somebody else.

Mark:

But then then it gets weird because I guess Felix is up going to the bathroom because he's drinking so much beer, and he catches her. And Felix, for the first moment in the entire episode, has a lucid thought Yes.

Sarah:

Of Go shower right

Mark:

now. Go shower right now. I'll take care of this. And then

Sarah:

Looks back into stupid and gives her nail scissors.

Mark:

Then we get the porno music because does he, like, go in while she showered and, like, everything's all cleaned up? By the way, would you like to have some sex?

Sarah:

Grace is a psychopath. She's working her alibi.

Mark:

And Grace is like, I know I just killed 2 people in 48 hours.

Sarah:

Including your mom and your brother.

Mark:

But what I really need is to have sex with you.

Sarah:

No. She just wants to firm up that he's gonna cover for her.

Mark:

She's using her wires. Filled Felix up. That's for sure. So then Grace goes to the travel agency. If Grace doesn't go to the travel agency, they never find out anything.

Mark:

Nope. Slash taxidermy place. It was across from the Anchored Dairy. I went to Slash laterhosen warehouse.

Sarah:

Yes.

Mark:

There are lots of Anchored Dairies. I couldn't find the right one.

Sarah:

At 1 hour 10 minutes 56 seconds

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

We are back at the brewery. Yes. Mike is on the phone with his back to the brewery Yes. And Frodo walks into the brewery behind him.

Mark:

Wow.

Sarah:

I've got a screenshot of it. Did not notice that. Definitely him. He's wearing the same clothes he wore in the bar. It's him.

Mark:

I did not notice that.

Sarah:

He's in there trying to finagle a job.

Mark:

I don't know.

Sarah:

But it's him. Definitely him. Kahu's missing his pipe cutter. It's if you've ever used one, it's like it it's like a vice, you know? Like, it would absolutely cut that wire.

Sarah:

No question. Yep. But it it would take a lot of force, and it would not leave it sharp. No. Not.

Sarah:

It would not. Like And

Mark:

he would have multiple pairs of cut.

Sarah:

Oh, absolutely. That's why he's not missed it before now because he would have needed a pipe cutter before now. I mean, I have 3 out in the garage, and all I do is cut PVC pipes

Mark:

for plumber.

Sarah:

For Halloween props. That's all I use them for.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

But he's he's missing one, and they put it in that they don't ever wear gloves. No. They're the worst criminals. No. Kahu says that he is Jared's cousin's brother.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And that Walter is Jared's uncle.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

And that George Maru is their Koro. Yes. Which is Maori for grandpa.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

Okay? So I tried to write a family tree of this to figure out

Mark:

how are nerds. I got a spreadsheet. I've got diagrams.

Sarah:

If they have the same grandpa, then

Mark:

Then they're first cousins.

Sarah:

Then Walter is Kahu's one of Kahu's parents' sibling

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Brother, which makes him cousins.

Mark:

They're cousins.

Sarah:

Unless there's some, like, divorce marriage. Like, if Kahu's mom divorced Walter, and so but they had a son already who is Kahu's older brother, and that's the cousin. So that makes Kahu not his cousin. Yes. Because they don't have any blood in common.

Sarah:

I found this awesome website from New Zealand that is a Maori dictionary. Oh, cool. It's incredible.

Mark:

Can you send it to me and I'll put it in the show notes?

Sarah:

Yes. And it's absolutely reputable. It's a good site. Yep. Koro had multiple definitions.

Mark:

I I would think so.

Sarah:

Elderly man, term of respect for an elderly man, grandpa. Those made sense to me. But then there were, like, 3 other definitions.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

And I listened. I listened to the pronunciation to see for these other meanings. Do they say it differently? Like, is there an accent somewhere that I'm not seeing? I'm not no.

Sarah:

It sounds exactly the same. So it can mean an an elderly man you respect. Yep. Grandpa. Yep.

Sarah:

To intend to do something.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

A bay or inlet or a noose.

Mark:

Woah.

Sarah:

These things have nothing in common.

Mark:

Nothing.

Sarah:

I I do not understand how that works.

Mark:

How does that work?

Sarah:

They had them in sentences as examples. I do not understand that.

Mark:

That's

Sarah:

If somebody who has more knowledge of Maori culture could tell us, that would be awesome. How does Koro mean an elderly guy or grandpa and all those other things? An inlet? A noose? They don't have maybe a noose and inlet.

Sarah:

They're both kinda round. Maybe? Maybe? I don't know. The thief is the only goth in Broken Wood.

Sarah:

Yes. He's broken into the skydiving place right after they've had a crime. But it's convenient because somebody's already broken the the CCTV. So that that might be the reason.

Mark:

I guess.

Sarah:

Steals GoPros and laptops and iPads. Okay. I don't understand why the travel agent also has the bad taxidermy.

Mark:

I don't I don't understand that. I also don't understand why it is pointed out that there are nervous weirs at the skydiving place.

Sarah:

And why is the bathroom not in that building? Why do you have to leave the front door to go

Mark:

to the bathroom? Oh,

Sarah:

my god. Where is it?

Mark:

I don't the whole make out area, like, the makeup of the area of the skydiving place. That's why I say they've never been to

Sarah:

a skydiving. I I think it's okay. It it almost looks like a dance studio. Right? It's a big open space.

Sarah:

Yeah. I get that. Because if you've got people who've never been skydiving before, you you're gonna you're gonna line them up. Right? And, basically, give them a class.

Sarah:

Like, okay. You put your pack on. Here's here's where that is. Here's where that is. Maybe the weather's not friendly to it.

Sarah:

And when I said that they were they had the skateboards,

Mark:

they're practicing their aerial maneuvers. That's exactly how

Sarah:

you do it. Oh, I practicing their aerial maneuvers. That's exactly how you do it.

Mark:

Oh, I understand that.

Sarah:

And you can't do that outside on grass. You need

Mark:

to roll it. All that. I just don't think it should be done in the lobby of the establishment.

Sarah:

It's not the lobby. It's the establishment. It's like the main room.

Mark:

I don't like that.

Sarah:

Now why do they leave their packed parachutes hanging on a coat rack out in public?

Mark:

Where anyone including a 3 year old child could go Goodbye. Goodbye. I love how my computer says goodbye.

Sarah:

Yeah. Goodbye. I love how the button for the computer is against your back. Yeah. Like, you wouldn't bump it with your back.

Sarah:

That should take, like, like, a special key thing.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

You should have to put it in and turn it with intention.

Mark:

I would agree. So Grace is on the lam.

Sarah:

And this is why I don't skydive.

Mark:

And she has to get to the airport. But before

Sarah:

that happens, there's a question I have

Mark:

for you. Okay.

Sarah:

What is a fatty mama?

Mark:

A fatty mama? Uh-huh.

Sarah:

Mike shows up at Kristen's house, and he brings her fatty mamas.

Mark:

Yeah. It's like a sandwich.

Sarah:

I couldn't find it anywhere. He said he was just in the mood for Turkish. The roving the roving kebab truck has stayed in.

Mark:

Why does why do Frodo and the thieving goth not work for the Turkish guy? He obviously drives all over the place.

Sarah:

They could be making fatty mommas.

Mark:

They could be making fatty mamas.

Sarah:

Bet you Frodo does work there part time.

Mark:

I bet you. He does.

Sarah:

I looked all over. I spelled it all kinds of different ways. But because I put in, like, fatty mama in quotes spelled different ways, plus Turkish sandwich. No. Because there's Fatima.

Sarah:

Yeah. Right? So Google's like, no. You mean Fatima. No.

Sarah:

Because there's Fatima mama. Yeah. There's a woman online who cooks. And she's Fatima mama. But that's not what Kristen says.

Sarah:

She says fatty mama, which has gotta be the name of that sandwich, and I wanna know what it is. Okay. Somebody tell us.

Mark:

And, like, Kristen's like, I'm just gonna sit around and not plan out dinner. Oh, Mike's here for dinner. Like

Sarah:

And then it's I'm so pedantic. I'm really sorry. But it's a sandwich wrapped in foil then wrapped in in paper. Right? And when she takes a bite

Mark:

It's really close to the paper.

Sarah:

It's so close to the foil. Foil. It made my teeth hurt. Kristen, fold it down more. No.

Sarah:

I'm gonna take a tiny nibble off the end of this in case we have to reshoot this shot.

Mark:

Well and food is so hard to deal with.

Sarah:

Well, except for Felix. They can just put anything in some Styrofoam and give him a fork. Yeah. He's eaten, chicken eskender.

Mark:

Do you

Sarah:

know what chicken eskender is? No. So it's like naan with kebab meat on it. Yeah. And then it's got tomato sauce on top of that and rice.

Mark:

I've had that. I've

Sarah:

had Sounds good.

Mark:

Yeah. It is good.

Sarah:

We don't have a good kebab place near us.

Mark:

Well, we live in Indiana, baby.

Sarah:

But we live in one of the most international places in Indiana.

Mark:

We do.

Sarah:

We The Dalai Lama's brother has a restaurant here. Okay?

Mark:

We do, and I can get decent, falafel here. Yeah. So, boy, I have a lot of questions. So Grace needs to fly to the airport.

Sarah:

Before that, I'm sorry. I keep doing this to you. We have 2 things. 1, we find out that Dean is selling to, Trudy and Ray. And 2, Felix admits that he's done he's done it.

Sarah:

Yes. Before we get to Grace.

Mark:

Yes. So so the peep

Sarah:

Dean is right. He's getting out

Mark:

of this joint. Leapfrogging everything that we just said. Felix ends up with a fine and everything. Yeah.

Sarah:

Assuming that he is somehow in line to inherit.

Mark:

He gets a fine, everything, and a little action on the side.

Sarah:

He might get more than a fine. Crayly. As an accessory to murder, he might get more than a fine.

Mark:

Yeah. But I I think the judge would be like, I understand it was extenuating circumstances.

Sarah:

Yeah. You were drunk the whole time, so you don't really know.

Mark:

Yeah.

Sarah:

It was your mother and your brother, but you wanted a piece of booty on the side, so you let it go?

Mark:

But Dean does the right thing, selling to Ray and Trudy.

Sarah:

I get out of there.

Mark:

Out of there. Ray and Trudy now have 3 of the 4 bars.

Sarah:

So they used to have the frog and cheetah.

Mark:

Yep. Which is closed for a renovation.

Sarah:

Now they have the tadpole and tiger. The tadpole and tiger. Breen jokes about the amphibian and the Agapantha. Yes. I have better names.

Mark:

Okay.

Sarah:

The bullfrog and Bengal.

Mark:

Yep. That works.

Sarah:

The tree frog and Tabby. Yes. Or the pollywog and puma. All those are fantastic. I like the pollywog and Puma.

Mark:

The pollywog and and Puma.

Sarah:

Because it makes me wanna say pollywog and Puma all the day. Yes. Then Felix is like, yep. I did it.

Mark:

And no one believes him.

Sarah:

No. No.

Mark:

No one believes him at all.

Sarah:

He doesn't really have a motive.

Mark:

And he he also doesn't understand how it happened.

Sarah:

Well, he doesn't the age old trope of, well, what did you do with the knife? Oh, I threw it in the bush. It wasn't a knife. You know, like, he just doesn't. Yeah.

Sarah:

So it though it is weird that they give us flashbacks of him committing the crime that he didn't do. Like, they show him putting the pipe cutters in the downspout, which he never did. And it's unusual to have a reenactment of something that didn't happen.

Mark:

I have another question about the night of the murder. Mhmm. K.

Sarah:

Of whose murder? Lorraine's. Okay.

Mark:

So he goes for the Turkish kebab.

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

Kristen drops his mother off. Mhmm. The psychopath kills her. Mhmm. He says in a moment of clarity, I'll take care of this.

Mark:

Mhmm. The psychopath showers and then bonks him. Mhmm. Does he go and throw the murder weapon away?

Sarah:

The next morning.

Mark:

Oh, it's the next morning?

Sarah:

Yeah. So He goes for a bike ride.

Mark:

Post bonking clarity. He realizes that maybe we need to get rid of the murder weapon.

Sarah:

Probably the most sober when he wakes up in the morning.

Mark:

That's true.

Sarah:

And she probably told him to do it. Yeah. Go ride your bike to the park and throw it in the bush.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

On the dance with the devil run at the bike park. Yes.

Mark:

Okay. The last thing.

Sarah:

Would gum do this? Possibly. Andre didn't tug it hard enough.

Mark:

Yeah. But he

Sarah:

did. Don't extract that out. Andre did not tug it hard enough. I'm sorry.

Mark:

Just to recap, the people who Andre is bonking includes all the women plus himself.

Sarah:

Because if gum could hold it together, he's no. He didn't pull it or no. Yeah. So Grace is gonna make a run for it. And there are so many problems with this.

Mark:

She needs to fly because that's the only faster way to get there.

Sarah:

She changes her plans, her travel plans for Nepal with the travel agency Yes. Slash taxidermy slash laterhosen warehouse.

Mark:

Which, okay, even if she's not guilty, Mike's gonna call up the the people in and go, don't let her get on a plane. She's a person of interest in a crime. And they're gonna go, okay.

Sarah:

Okay. No problem. Yeah. Passport control. Done.

Sarah:

No. Never mind. He gets on the plane with her and doesn't say to the pilot, don't take off.

Mark:

Why is the pilot flying? I do not know.

Sarah:

I do not know. And the whole time, I'm looking out the plane window going, those are clouds. They're moving. Maybe. They're actually in the air.

Mark:

Maybe while he was doing arts and crafts with missus m at the at the station house to put Avi Dents on the bag written by a serial killer.

Sarah:

In, like, red blood marker?

Mark:

Never mind the fact that if they are in a plane, let's assume they're in a plane. Let's assume they're in the air. If he throws that out, some poor guy There's a there's

Sarah:

a lot of open space in New Zealand.

Mark:

Wham. Kid's hit by the

Sarah:

Somebody's gonna be beheaded by a poorly drawn evidence envelope. It's the evidence. Now What's in there? Just, like, grocery receipts?

Mark:

Heavy because she assumes that it's the the pliers.

Sarah:

Yeah. But, like, he must have just thrown some junk in there, though. Right?

Mark:

So It's not gonna matter to Frodo walking around with his Turk and gets hit.

Sarah:

He's just going for a kebab and gets killed by evidence envelope. Poor photo.

Mark:

I cannot tell.

Sarah:

Maybe that's what happened to Jared.

Mark:

I cannot tell, and I watched really closely if they are on the plane or not.

Sarah:

If they're not, they do a really good job of making it look like they are and made me wanna throw up the whole time. I'm like, the door the door the door opens. It opens. It's right there. It opens.

Sarah:

She's really close to it. It opens. It's probably not even locked. It just opens. And you see those rails?

Sarah:

You're supposed to be clipped onto those so you don't fall out. But you're not. You're just sitting there, and you're sitting too close to the door, and it's just gonna open and she's gonna open it.

Mark:

And then she opens it. And then bam. She's gone. Yeah. You see her face Yeah.

Mark:

Outside of the plane. Yeah. I think that she has a backpack parachute on, and they actually let this actress jump out of the plane backwards.

Sarah:

Esther Stevens is her name. And Or it's a professional stunt skydiver, and they CGI'd her face onto that person.

Mark:

That person.

Sarah:

I And and she goes she goes backwards so that we can't see that she has a pack on.

Mark:

Yep. Fern, thank you for coming on the show. We have some very important questions for you. The first of which is, can you explain the ending of Grace to us?

Sarah:

How did they do it?

Mark:

On a plane? Were they not on a plane? Can you explain that, please?

Sarah:

I'm I if they had a huge effects budget, I can imagine how they could do it. It's all green screen outside. Yep. They've got, a zipline pull on her. Yeah.

Sarah:

They speed it up. They speed up the footage to make it look like she's falling.

Mark:

I am watching this over and over again.

Sarah:

I can't. It makes me want to throw up. I cannot watch it.

Mark:

I completely understand that. I completely don't know how they did this, but I'm really glad they got the Frankenstein and monster right. That they're separate people? Yeah. That that they're separate.

Sarah:

Though, it should have been Jekyll and Hyde. It yeah. Well yeah.

Mark:

Mike is 47. Mike is 49.

Sarah:

I don't care what you say. He writes 47 on that board.

Mark:

He writes 49 on that board.

Sarah:

Listeners, which is it? So 47 or 49.

Mark:

Just to cover this, this happens in 26.

Sarah:

What do I get if I'm right?

Mark:

I don't know. You always say that I don't give you enough when you're right.

Sarah:

That you never give me enough credit for being right.

Mark:

I will say you're right.

Sarah:

If you're right in the next step and and we'll decide Okay? You have to agree to this. Yeah. We'll decide which of us is right based on the majority opinion

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Of the listeners. Okay?

Mark:

I'll put some polls up.

Sarah:

Okay. If the majority of them say that you are right and he writes 49 on the board Yes. I will sing a you're so smart, you're so right song in our next episode.

Mark:

Okay. What do you want from me? I'm the same thing. Okay. I will sing you're so smart, you're so right.

Sarah:

Though I do have to tell you guys, for Christmas, my son got me a T shirt that says Sarah is always right. It's awesome. True. Except for this case. Is that what you're saying?

Sarah:

No. No. Or are you already conceding? No.

Mark:

No. I'm not conceding.

Sarah:

It's true that I got the T shirt.

Mark:

So He's forties. These are the things that we know Forties. For sure. The current year is 2016. Mhmm.

Mark:

The PM was PM for the years 19571960 through 72. That that would make Mike anywhere between 59 and 56 and 44. K? We know that the number the date is not divisible by 3 without a remainder.

Sarah:

And that it's an odd number.

Mark:

And that it is an odd number. The following numbers fit that pattern. K? 59. Mike is not 59.

Mark:

No. Okay. 55. I do not believe Mike is 55. 53, Mike could be 53 except he clearly writes a 4

Sarah:

Mhmm.

Mark:

On the board. Okay? 49, 47, the two numbers that we have discussed, and then 44. It's not 2 fours. 44 is even.

Mark:

Yes. 44 is also even. 47. He is without a doubt.

Sarah:

My evidence is that Neil Ray, the actor, was born in 1971.

Mark:

Which would make him 47 in this. But he writes 49. I don't know why he writes 49, but he does. Who's best corpse? Lorraine does not a bad job.

Mark:

And those prosthetics are really good. The special effects are really good in this episode.

Sarah:

The incisions are are realistic. Yeah. Andre's got blood coming out of the corner of his eye.

Mark:

Yeah. He's not in this. He's mooshed.

Sarah:

I'm gonna go with Lorraine.

Mark:

Yeah. I think Lorraine.

Sarah:

And after the credits, Felix does the short stint in prison and then gets everything.

Mark:

Gets everything. The big white house, all the bikes,

Sarah:

the Turkish meals. Andre's car.

Mark:

Andre's car full of all the stuff in Andre's car. So what did you see in the back of Andre's car?

Sarah:

Nothing.

Mark:

Yeah. They open up the trunk, and they look in the

Sarah:

Oh, there's an air tank back there. Yeah. Like a scuba diving tank.

Mark:

A scuba suit. There's fins. There's a skateboard, and there's golf clubs.

Sarah:

He skateboards? No. He doesn't. That's his that's his skydiving practice. He

Mark:

has skateboard.

Sarah:

Yeah. But it's it's for skydiving.

Mark:

I guess it's for

Sarah:

I need to get a new skateboard for skydiving practice

Mark:

Said by no one Ever. But the only goth in Broken Life.

Sarah:

What's the goth's name? He's not in the cred not in the IMDB credits anyway. Wayne. You think?

Mark:

Yeah. Something bad like that.

Sarah:

Yeah. It can't be Garrett. Can't be Dean.

Mark:

Garrett. Yeah. And the thing is

Sarah:

Lewis.

Mark:

The thing is, what's he saying is the only one left? Yeah. Like, Dean is out of there.

Sarah:

Right.

Mark:

Back talk.

Sarah:

We don't know what happened to their dad. Right? Yep. We never hear about their dad.

Mark:

About their dad.

Sarah:

And there's no other siblings.

Mark:

No. I would assume that he gets everything.

Sarah:

And maybe he gets some alcohol treatment when he's doing his little stint. I hope He comes out clean and dry

Mark:

and He gets some help that he needs. Yeah.

Sarah:

Because he didn't commit the murder. He is absolutely eligible to inherit. Yeah. If that's how it works. We don't know what Lorraine's will said.

Mark:

Plus. Okay. Plus, he legitimately has a right to sue Dean because Dean does not own all of that business. No. He owns half that business.

Mark:

If And if he sold it If

Sarah:

he took all the money from the sale, then he owes Felix money.

Mark:

Gotta owe Felix money, and Felix could easily sue him for damages.

Sarah:

Meanwhile, true

Mark:

took advantage of a situation when I was when I was dead bonking my brother's girlfriend after she killed my mom.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Mark:

Never mind that. I was having trauma. But he took advantage Dean totally took advantage of it.

Sarah:

If if he didn't give him half and I'm sure he sold it for a lower price than he should've because you don't need

Mark:

Why would he give him half? His name wasn't even anywhere near the price.

Sarah:

Are not Yeah. Gonna pay full price for that business. I'm sorry. Those 2 are conniving.

Mark:

Well, Ray's gonna be like, I can solve your problem here.

Sarah:

Mhmm. Meanwhile, Trudy and Ray are creating the monopoly in Brokenwood. If you want alcohol, you have to go to an amphibian slash cat place. Yes. You gotta go to polliwogs and pumas.

Mark:

Polliwogs and pumas.

Sarah:

All the day. Fairly well. Fairly well.

Mark:

If it wasn't the longest title in the world, I'd entitle the episode Polliwogs and Pumas all the day long plus the only goth in broken wood. But I'll have to make some hard choices.

Sarah:

That is Fall From Grace season 4 episode 1 of broken wood. Next week, season 4 episode 2.

Mark:

Which is stone cold dead, which I looked up and I can't oh, it's the one where it's the, like, pioneer village.

Sarah:

Yes. Yes. You can vote via the polls that Mark is gonna put up, whether it's 47 or 49. Email us on mystery maniacs 49. Podcast@gmail.com.

Sarah:

You can leave a comment on the subreddit. We will count them all up.

Mark:

Please vote 49.

Sarah:

This will go out on Monday. Yes. Please let us know which one you think it is by Saturday.

Mark:

Yes.

Sarah:

Well, maybe by Friday. So you can write your I'm so Sarah's always right song. Okay. Give you some time.

Mark:

Okay. And that episode will come out on 13th January.

Sarah:

Yes. So until then.

Mark:

Like, all the way into next year and next month. No. It's not.

Sarah:

No. It's not.

Mark:

Ladies and gentlemen, we are expecting a snowpocalypse tomorrow, which is Sunday for us. It should not interrupt our No. Release schedule at all, but, you may see reports of Indiana being under lots of snow, and we are at the center of that.

Sarah:

Maybe we'll go outside and make a a mystery maniacs themed snow sculpture. 1 of our listeners made one out of ice.

Mark:

Yes. We'll certainly take a picture and put it up on the and on the various islands.

Sarah:

Nose deep in snow

Mark:

looking at us like She's not going out in the snow. We're

Sarah:

gonna have to lower

Mark:

her with a rope. She barely does outside now.

Sarah:

Until then, bye, maniacs.

Mark:

Bye, maniacs. Thanks for joining us on the Mystery Maniacs podcast. If you enjoyed our crazy podcast today, don't miss out on future episodes. Follow us on social media for updates, behind the scenes content, and exclusive sneak peeks. Subscribe, like, and share to spread the word.

Mark:

Bye, Maniacs. The backup is now going. The backup is now going. The backup is now going. The backup is now going.

Mark:

The backup is now going. The backup is now going. The backup is now going. The backup is now going. The backup is now going.

Mark:

The backup is now going.