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'everyday compassion with Henny Flynn' is a space to settle in, listen, and see where the episodes take you. It's an invitation to travel deeper, using compassionate self-enquiry.
Henny is a writer, teacher and guide. She shares insights from her own life, alongside practices that help us connect with our inner wisdom, explore our relationship with change and find a greater sense of flow. Henny believes we all hold our own answers, so you won't find one-size-fits-all solutions here. This is a space to be with what's true for you, and to grow from there.
Drawing on psychology, mindfulness, therapeutic coaching and flow journaling, each episode explores the small, everyday ways compassion can help us step further into our inner worlds, and shape the changes we seek in our outer worlds.
If you're drawn to slowing down, listening in and simply seeing what emerges, you're very welcome here.
Henny Hey my darlings, so here we are another episode of the podcast. It's now quite late on Friday so if you're listening on Saturday morning this is very fresh. How am I feeling right now? I'm feeling a little bit tired. It's definitely the end of quite a busy week and just feeling into what is it that feels like it wants to emerge today.
Henny:Let's see what happens. Welcome to the Henny Flynn podcast, the space for deepening self awareness with profound self compassion. I'm Henny. I write, coach and speak about how exploring our inner world can transform how we experience our outer world, all founded on a bedrock of self love. Settle in and listen and see where the episode takes you.
Henny:So earlier today at lunchtime, I co hosted a lunch and learn about the nervous system at work. If you came along, it was really lovely to see you there. I know there were quite a few technical challenges with it, which I think was really interesting. And actually, maybe that's the theme for today is about how often life offers us these challenges, these moments maybe of conflict or tension or resistance in order to illustrate the very thing that we're practicing or seeking to learn or wanting to teach others. And I'm really mindful as I sort of say these words, you know, the universe offers us these things like, that can sound a bit woo woo if that's not really the way that we see the world.
Henny:And, you know, and for me, I'm comfortable with that language, that feels okay for me. And I recognise that for some of us, perhaps it doesn't. So maybe an easier way to frame that is to say how interesting it is, how we can be presented with something, something happens around us that holds a lesson within it of some kind, and we might call it irony, we might call it happenstance. We might call it a coincidence. We might call it anything.
Henny:In a way, I don't think it matters what we call it. We might call it the universe. I don't really think it matters what we call it. I think what's interesting or what feels interesting for me is what we then do with it. And so I was co hosting this event today all about the nervous system and really specifically talking about the nervous system at work.
Henny:And my co host, lovely Grace, who I've run a few retreats with, some of you may have joined us on those. And, you know, it's an area of specialty for Grace and myself, this working with the nervous system. She has a long history in nursing and as a somatic practitioner and in training others about how to work with the nervous system. I've obviously got all of my background, all of my training and the coaching, but also at the somatics of trauma informed training that I've done. And so, you know, we're both really fascinated with the work of Polyvagal Theory and Deb Dana and Stephen Porges and see how valuable it is when we're working with our clients both in group and one to one.
Henny:And so we've teamed up to offer this out into the world. And so today's event was a free event just to give people a bit of a taster. And, know, when we're talking about the nervous system, we're often talking about like what it's like when we're activated and what are the things that can activate our system and then how do we notice that? How do we hold enough space, create enough of a pause where when we have noticed it, we're then able to attend to it. And, you know, as we get more and more skillful with this work, we're able to anticipate maybe when our nervous system might get activated.
Henny:I deliberately use the word activated and not triggered because I think, triggers can be something slightly different, they're often related to trauma that we've experienced, often very deep. I know we talk about big Ts and small Ts in terms of trauma and, you know, we can do the same in terms of triggers. But if we just talk about activation, then it's really the whole scope of what happens with our nervous system. When something excites us or frightens us or repels us in some way. So, you know, just really noticing all the stuff that activates us.
Henny:And then in the session, you know, we shared some really practical techniques that we can use. I'll share a couple of those with you here actually, because there was some lovely feedback from people on the session about the ones that really felt they supported them. Anyway, what happened? Like why did it feel as though there was this lesson from the universe? Well, as Grace and I were logging in to deliver this session online, Grace's camera didn't work.
Henny:So, I could hear her and she could hear me, but we couldn't see each other. Or she could see me, but I couldn't see her. And then, you know, can you imagine what that's like? You know you're about to sort of go in front of a group of people. Many of them were new for grace.
Henny:You you want to present, you know, as as calmly and as professionally and competently as you can. So, there's might be lots of stories going on about what that means, you know, all those assumptions that we might make about what that means. And then, you know, the technology doesn't work. And the spike in the nervous system when that happens, I mean, I've experienced this myself in the past and it's quite intense. I don't know if you've ever experienced this.
Henny:You know, this kind of feeling or fear that we're not going be able to show up, we're not going to be able to do the thing that we said we were going to do. And if we've got belief system, a story internally that that's important, you know, that we show up in a certain way or it can be very activating. And so, you know, we got through it. We managed to work it out. Gracefully managed to sort it out.
Henny:She used a different bit of kit. She found her way in. It was all good. But as she was kind of working out like how to solve the problem, I was sort of sitting here, this makes me sound a bit mean, but I was sitting here kind of quietly chuckling to myself, thinking, you know, oh, you just got to love the universe for demonstrating in real life the reason why this work of understanding and learning how to nourish our nervous system is so important, so valuable. Because if Grace wasn't as skillful as she is, it could have thrown her, you know, into such a spin, you know, maybe even to the point that her nervous system reacted with that fight, flight, freeze response, or in polyvagal terms, taken her into this dorsal, this sort of shutdown response.
Henny:And it didn't, of course, because she has been practising these techniques and this depth of awareness and this kind attention. And so she was able to navigate it, but it did feel like such a kind of perfect example of the very thing that we were there to teach, you know, life imitating art and all of that. So, I suppose a kind of question here is, you know, what happens? What do you notice when your nervous system gets activated, what is it that supports you? For those of you who did the gratitude quest, the 21 gratitude quest that I offered earlier this year, you know, even that practice of writing, you know, three things, 21 things, whatever it might be, that you're grateful for each day can be such a wonderful way of bringing ourselves home when we feel as though we're kind of a bit scattered or a bit up in our head, you know, that activated state where like, oh, we don't quite know what to do with ourselves.
Henny:If we can find three things that we're grateful for, oh it can just help us ground, you know, maybe it's a tree in the sky and oh and the bird flying there, you know. Even just doing that, can feel my body settling and Deb Dana calls these glimmers, know, these things that we see in our day. Maybe I saw one actually this morning, I went out for a run and just as I was setting off up the track, I caught a glimpse of the most exquisite view of the valley through the trees and the mist was sitting heavy over the fields. And it was such a thing of beauty. I actually took a photograph of it and shared it on Instagram because I am just in my stories because I just, oh, it was like picture postcard perfection, that was such a glimmer.
Henny:And, you know, when we spy these things, when we see these things and we take the conscious moment to notice them, not necessarily taking a photograph every time, of course, but you know, we take a conscious moment to really absorb it and really allow our body to feel the sense of wonder or awe, a w e, then that can be so nourishing for our nervous system And yeah, so, I mean, today I think it's gonna be quite a short episode actually, because it kind of feels like that maybe that's enough, you know, just to leave us with this question of, you know, what is it that you notice nourishes your nervous system when you get activated? And really paying attention to that because I asked that question and maybe nothing comes to mind, Maybe something does. Maybe it's something that feels a bit surprising. Maybe it's something that's like, oh, no, of course, it's that. Whatever it might be.
Henny:Oh, I just burped, so sorry. Did a tiny tiny little burp. That feels like a glimmer to me. Well, you know, we don't edit this podcast, do we? So, there it is, it's all real life.
Henny:But yes, so like really noticing next time you become activated, like what is it that actually nourishes you? Being really mindful about not the thing that you reach for that soothes you, self soothing, you know, that can be the stuff that's not really serving us. So it might be alcohol or gambling or scrolling on your phone or TV, that's definitely one of mine as you know, working longer, working harder, also one of mine. You know, being really mindful of where you might be using those strategies rather than paying this mindful, kindful attention to what's actually going to soothe you. This kind of taps into something I talked about last week actually, where I said that I had some, was it last week?
Henny:Something was going wrong with something, couldn't Yeah, that was it. I couldn't load something up onto another site. And I had this like almost instantaneous desire to just shut it all down and go and watch telly. Now, what that is, is my nervous system. My nervous system being activated and then my head going, you know, the alarm, I sound like a crow, but the alarm going off.
Henny:And the kind of part of me that like doesn't wanna feel activated, hunting round quickly, like what can we do? What can we do to stop her feeling this way? Oh, I know TV that works. And instead what I did was I noticed that because this is a conscious mindful practice and this is something I pay a lot of attention to. And then I came here instead and I recorded last week's episode of the podcast, which was work, but it was also complete joy because doing this is always joyful to me.
Henny:Otherwise I wouldn't do it to be honest. So what is it that nourishes you? That's the question. And as ever, I'd love to hear your thoughts. And yeah, please do share.
Henny:I think it's always really interesting when we start to, yeah, reflect on sort of what other people do. So, if you share with me, maybe I can share some of those things into this space, into the podcast next week. And I also, I said that at the beginning of today, I said that I would share a couple of the techniques that we used in the podcast, sorry, in the event today. So one of them, if you're looking on YouTube, you'll be able to see what I'm doing, but one of them was such a tender, gentle thing. So literally putting your hands either side of your neck so that your fingers just touch at the back of your neck and you're holding your neck in this very gentle, very tender way.
Henny:And just holding your hands there. And this is vagal toning. This is supporting that vagus nerve. It's making me want to shut my eyes because it feels so relaxing to my body, to my system. This is sending a message from my body up through the vagus nerve up into my brain that tells me that I'm safe enough and so everything starts to soften and settle.
Henny:There's another technique actually even just as you bring your hands down, if you were able to do that, you weren't driving or doing working some machinery, bring your hands down to your heart. I've often talked about this here, about how when we put our hands on our heart, helps to release oxytocin and when we release oxytocin, which is like the caregiving hormone that helps to calm down those cortisol and adrenaline, you know, the sort of pumping out of those stress hormones, they start to calm down. And it's really interesting because I can see, because we're filming this, that my body is kind of moving from side to side. And that's one of the indicators that I have that my body is feeling really super relaxed, very connected, very present and very calm. And then what was another one?
Henny:Oh yeah, another one that Grace shared, which was really nice. I'll take my glasses off for this one. It's not specifically for the vagus nerve, so not specifically about your nervous system in that way, but it does affect the vagus nerve. So, if you put your thumbs on the inside corners of each eyebrow, can be a little bit tender, so be very gentle, might feel a little bit sore because it's a very powerful point so we're going to do it very gently. And then tip your head forward so that your head's just very gently resting on your thumbs pressing in to those the inner edges of each eyebrow.
Henny:Oh, I can really feel that. And one of the things it does is it also allows the back of your neck to release and to lengthen and that then sends a message through the vagus nerve. So, although your vagus nerve doesn't, you know, sit here in between your eyes, just doing that practice and leaning forward can help to release the nerve at the back of your neck. I realized I've sort of been banding these terms around vagus nerve and dorsal and polyvagal theory. If that is stuff that you're interested in, then Grace and I are also leading a four week course.
Henny:And it begins on the November 5. Remember, remember, that was how I remembered it. And it runs for four weeks from Thursday, November 5 from 12:00 to 01:15. So, it runs over lunchtime. So, if you're at work, hopefully you'll still be able to join us.
Henny:So, 12:00 to 01:15. And it really takes you all the way through how to understand the language of your own nervous system. So we all have this nervous system, we all have the basic mechanics of the nervous system. But what we can start to do when we do this gentle, self inquiry is that we can start to understand, well, what are my activation points? What are the things that comfort me?
Henny:And what's the stuff that can really help me understand the data that I can receive from my nervous system in order that I can work with it rather than be driven by it. So, I mean, gosh, if you'd like to join us, I'd be delighted. We are really excited about doing this work because it is so valuable and I don't think any of us doubt the need for it right now. There's so many things activating us in our macro climate, you know, socially, politically, climate, culturally And, you know, and they have this knock on effect into our day to day life too, you know, maybe at work or at home, stressors that we all have to manage. And my really sort of profound feeling, deep feeling is that the more that we can do to care for ourselves and understand ourselves, then the easier it becomes to navigate the hard stuff.
Henny:It doesn't make it easy and it doesn't mean that the activation doesn't happen or the hard stuff doesn't happen, but it can just make it feel a little bit easier to hold in the moment. So, yes, let me know if you'd like to join us. I'll put a link into the show notes for you too. And if you're not already part of the mailing list, then please do come and join because then you get to hear about all of these lovely things that are happening. I have lots of free stuff, including the podcast, of course.
Henny:And if you're on the mailing list, you get to hear about it. So again, I'll put a link to that in the show notes or just come onto the website hennyflinn.co.uk and you can join from there. Oh yeah and the other thing I was going to say is I've had some really lovely very kind donations recently from the podcast from people who have sort of heard, I suppose, when I've said that the last thing I ever want to do really here is to start having adverts or to yeah have it like sponsored in some way. I really like the freedom of this space and the fact that it is free from ads and it is free from sponsor messages. So if you want to help me keep funding this resource, if you enjoy it and you feel that you're able to, then please do click the make a donation button and I would be very grateful talking about gratitude.
Henny:All right my darlings, yeah there we go that feels enough for today and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day whatever it might be whatever time of day it is that you're listening right now and send some love to yourself. Alright my darlings, I send you love and a hug and a wave.