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You’re tired.
Not just physically; though yeah, that too.
You’re tired in your bones. In your soul.
Trying to be a steady husband, an intentional dad, a man of God… but deep down, you feel like you’re falling short. Like you’re carrying more than you know how to hold.
Dad Tired is a podcast for men who are ready to stop pretending and start healing.
Not with self-help tips or religious platitudes, but by anchoring their lives in something (and Someone) stronger.
Hosted by Jerrad Lopes, a husband, dad of four, and fellow struggler, this show is a weekly invitation to find rest for your soul, clarity for your calling, and the courage to lead your family well.
Through honest stories, biblical truth, and deep conversations you’ll be reminded:
You’re not alone. You’re not too far gone. And the man you want to be is only found in Jesus.
This isn’t about trying harder.
It’s about coming home.
If you've been listening to the Dad Tired podcast for any amount of time, or maybe you've read one of the dad tired books, you have likely heard me talk about my relationship with my dad. And you know, I never want to continue to bring up my own story. And I certainly don't wanna make this about me at all.
But my dad's absence in my childhood was played such a big role in my life, and I truly believe that Dad tired wouldn't be around if it weren't for that part of my story. And it's also just shaped so much of like. My own pain and hurt and, and processing of God, and so much of the things that I say are right, come out of that foundation for better or worse.
That's a real part of my story and it kind of bleeds out in everything that I do. So my dad actually came to visit this week, and he's never stayed at our house before. I've never had him over the years. We've had maybe lunches or dinners together, but I've never like had an extended amount of time with him outside of just one time in the last few years where he, he traveled with me to some speaking engagements, but he's never been with my family.
He's never stayed with my family or anything like that. And so this last week he was here and just kind of on the whim, I wasn't planning on doing this, but just on a whim I said. If you wanna record a podcast episode with me, and he said, sure. And my dad, I, one, one thing I love about him is he's down for anything.
And so we sat down and I just hit record. I'm telling you all this before we jump in, because there's really no agenda here. I. I don't know if you're gonna listen to this episode and get any like huge gospel nuggets, maybe you will. But it was really just kind of therapeutic for me, to be honest with you.
Like just to hit record and to talk to my dad about the pain that I've experienced and his absence and his own childhood and all that. So I guess my hope for this episode that I hope that you'll be encouraged like every other Dad Tired podcast episode. I hope that you'll be encouraged by it. But really, I guess this is just kind of your.
Way of being a fly on the wall. As you hear me, my dad, talk through some of my own pain. Again, if there's something that you can get out of that, awesome. But otherwise you can just kind of listen in as we process. And maybe if it's not helpful at, I'll go back and listen to all the other episodes 'cause I think they're, they're pretty helpful.
But anyway, I love you guys and I really am, man, just so grateful to be on this journey with you. We've been doing this for like almost a decade now, and just trying to process what it looks like for us as men to wrestle through all, all our own pain and shortcomings and sin and all that stuff, and trying to be the men.
That God's called us to be and, and so I guess this episode is kind of me doing that in real time, but hope it's encouraging to you. I love you guys. Let's talk.
Today is a interesting day, uh, a fun day because I have my dad with me. Welcome dad. Hello my son. If you have listened to the Dad's Tired podcast for any number of years or you've read any of the dad's tired books, you've probably heard it me talk about my relationship with my dad. It was strained. We spent most of our, well, my life and our relationship strained.
And so this is a, I feel like a big opportunity to like talk about it. 'cause most of the guys who follow Dad Tired would know. They've heard me talk about our relationship in some, in some shape or form. Yeah. I tell all my friends because I tell 'em how great you are and how great your book was and the philosophy about God making woman for man.
Mm-hmm. And everybody, I try to explain it to 'em, I tell 'em. Without woman, man is nothing. Man is the general producer of life. Yeah. A woman is the, produces the lives. Yeah. Yeah. So she's into everything. And Guy is in tune to today. Yeah. A woman is in tune to everything. Yeah. Tomorrow, now the minute because.
Living here. I mean, staying here, I look at your kids and I say, it's easy to write dad tired because there's no minute of assignments. Yeah. I'm amazed how gentle and soft you are with your kids and, and just in general your, your demeanor. Mm. You know? Yeah. Thank you, dad. But I brag about you to everybody because what you did in your life was completely different than my life.
Mm-hmm. And at one time you were in my life as a musician. Mm-hmm. And I didn't even know that you had a band with two girls and you were doing bad Mamma Jamma. And I was going, man, he's, he's just like me. And then when you told me I quit that band because I prayed to God. Mm. I told that to my friend, bill.
Mm-hmm. And I almost had him in tears. And he wanted to meet you so bad. He wanted to come with me. Hmm. I said. I haven't even seen my, seen my son's house. I'll make an appointment so you can come down here and, and meet him. But your story is so easy to tell and I tell everybody this as you told everybody we had a a strained relationship.
Yeah. And I tell everybody this. He was taught by a better father than I am. Mm. He was taught from the father in heaven. Mm-hmm. Who tells everybody what to do and where to go, and how to feel and how to succeed and how to avoid the wrongs. And I tell everybody this. Everybody says, how can God be everywhere?
I said, this is what God did for everyone. He gave everybody a conscience. Mm-hmm. And I always tell everybody, let your conscience be your guide. And if you don't know what's right and wrong, say to yourself, would Jesus do that? Yeah. Is it hard for you, because I know you've read some of my books and you listen to the podcast and stuff, is it hard for you to hear me talk about our strained relationship?
Not hard. I'm sad because I'll see your kids, but I'll see a little kid and I think to myself, I wish I was there. I wish I would've done that. I wish I could have been that but me. It wasn't that I was like selfish with me. My whole life had been a musician my whole life. Yeah. Never had anything else. Yeah.
Sing, go to work, come home, sleep, sing. That was it my whole life. I mean, from 17 going to high school. Yeah. Did I ever tell you how in my drafting class when I fell asleep and the teacher told me to go home and get some rest? Yeah, yeah. 'cause you were playing in nightclubs. Yeah. I didn't know anything but music and that lifestyle.
Yeah. So from 17 till. Until I got married, I had been single in my mind. Mm. But I always, always, always, even your your twin brothers. Mm-hmm. I wanted to send them your book and say, this is your brother. Mm. He's somebody, no matter what your mom said about me mm-hmm. As a person, I didn't raise them. I didn't raise you, but my son's, I told you he's a, a, a basketball coach and he has cerebral palsy.
Mm-hmm. That's a feed in itself, right? I never say to anybody, I have three kids, I have five kids, and that all my kids are successful, not because of me. You're successful because of your mom, because your mom took you to church and your mom told you. This is a man's life. Mm-hmm. When you grow up, this is a man's life.
'cause God looks at you and says, be a man. Yeah. You are a man. Yeah. Do you remember co-signing for me to get my liquor license? No. No. I don't remember that. You don't? No. Remember when I opened up that second restaurant and they wouldn't gimme my liquor license and I told 'em my life has changed. Mm-hmm.
And, and they said how? I said, and I told 'em the story about you. Mm-hmm. Deciding not to be a musician. Mm-hmm. And give yourself to God. I said, if my son can devote himself something bigger than him, I wanna be like my son. Mm. And you had to write a letter. Do you remember that? No. I have a terrible memory.
Yeah. You, I, I have must have been young. A high school or, or I mean, how you No, you were in Portland, Oregon Really as a youth pastor. Oh my gosh. I'm surprised, I don't remember that. You remember Pearl taking my restaurant, right? Yeah. Okay. Let's not throw anyone under the bus in case there's millions of people listening here.
We don't wanna, yeah. Yeah. Okay. But after she took my restaurant, my best friend Calvin, who lives in Reno mm-hmm. He decided because my restaurant was so good that let's do another one. Mm. So we worked on it. We worked on it, and I couldn't get a liquor license because I had a record. But the record was expunged, but they were playing hardball with me, and I told 'em, I, I went to the lady, uh, in charge of a licensings alcoholic beverage.
I. I told her, I says, I've changed, and I said I changed because of my son. And she asked me, well, if your son will write a letter for me. Oh, that does sound vaguely familiar. Yeah, I do remember that. Yeah. Yeah. If my, if you would write a letter and say, you know, my dad's been a changed man. Yeah. They gave me my liquor license.
Yeah, I do remember That's like vague now that, that, now that you say that. Just to give some the listeners context, especially if you just jump in into Dad Tired podcast for the first time and you're, you haven't heard my story, so when my dad's talking about seeing me with my kids, we've never really spent a lot of time together.
You've never stayed at our house. The longest that I have memory of us being together was actually maybe three or four years ago when I was speaking and you came with me, you traveled with me and to, to those speaking engagements and. That was like the most, we had spent time together since I was a, a real little boy.
And then now you're, you're staying with our family. You're here in South Carolina? Yes. Visiting with your wife. So just to give context to the listeners, this is the first time we've really spent time together like this since I was two. Two, okay. So it's been a long time. I want to give two some backstory.
The way that I remember, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, but the way I remember childhood is I have no memories of you being around when I was little. So you said two. I always thought it was like two or three that I was little, right? Yeah. So two or three. I don't have any memories of that, but, and then I remember maybe a couple times a year I would spend a day with you from time to time.
Yeah. Does that sound, does that seem right? So I feel like our relationship, I don't have any memories being angry at you or being mad at you or thinking my dad's a bad dad or anything like that. But I just, what was normal for me was that we would spend a couple days, a year for a day kind of together, and I didn't really think that that impacted me as a man.
I just kind of, this is my normal, and I didn't know that that impacted me. But then I got married, Elijah was three. I don't know if I've ever told you this. No. But when, when Elijah was three. Layla and I, I just, I was coming off a failed church plant and said, this guy said some really terrible things about me and my identity.
You suck. You're worthless. Nobody likes you. You're never gonna be good at anything kind of thing. This guy was saying this stuff to me. I. And I just started to tailspin, you know, I just started to like, go to a dark place in my head and that caused Layla and I to pull apart. I didn't, instead of like getting closer to her and saying, I need you during this time, I just, I was like, I'm gonna do my own thing.
And so I started to pull away from her. I started to pull away from the kids, or Eden and Elijah. I was really bad as a dad and I actually thought we were gonna get a divorce. I like, I was convinced that my family was gonna end and I thought it was emotional 'cause I thought. You weren't there in my childhood.
Now I'm not gonna be in my son's life. And he was about the same age I was when you left. And that was hard for me. I was like, I was depressed. But I don't know if I've ever told you, sir, you maybe have heard this in a podcast or a book, but I was in my mind already, I'm divorced, I'm gonna get outta here, I'm leaving.
And Layla didn't know this, but she was waking up in the middle of the night and she was praying for me. And so we were in the middle of a fight one day and I said, basically I was saying hurtful things and I'm gonna leave you and all this stuff. And she, I. She said, Jared, I've been praying for you every night.
I'm praying that God would capture your heart again, that you'd be the man that I know you are basically. And that really messed with me. So I ended up going to counseling 'cause I was like, I don't wanna do that to my kids. I don't wanna do that to my son. During counseling, they started to talk about dad, like, tell me about your dad and all your childhood stuff.
And that started to bring up all this pain in me, this hurt in me that I didn't know for. 25, 28 years or whatever. I had been pushing down, pushing down, and it was in that time I was in counseling. You called me and we hadn't even talked. I'm probably a year or so. I hadn't even heard from you, and you called me and said, Hey, I'm coming to Portland to visit some family.
Can we stop by? I'm married now. I didn't know you were married. I never met Barbara before. He said, can I, can I come visit you? And so that's when we went to that restaurant. Yeah. And I was in the middle of. I mean the, the deepest pain of my life. And then we sat down and I just, I mean, I probably had come out of a counseling session an hour before we met at that restaurant that day.
And so you and I sat down and now I'm kind of, you know the story, but I'm kind of recapping for the listeners. We sat down at this really nice restaurant in Portland before Portland went crazy, and they still had nice restaurants. We sat down and you were just happy to see us and, and catch up. And I was going through all this hard stuff and I remember I just asked you kind of outta the blue, outta nowhere, outta left field.
I said, you know, dad, I'm, I'm not mad at you. I love you and I forgive you, but I just needed to know why you left when I was a kid. And that question was coming out of, I was about to leave my family. I was going through my own hurt. I've told people that story before because I started to cry pretty heavily that day.
I feel like I had a lot of emotions, but you just sat there. You didn't make any excuses that day. I don't, I don't know if you remember what you said or or how you reacted, but you didn't make any excuses, and what I remember from that conversation was you saying that you were sorry and that it was the biggest regret of your life.
I wanna tell guys in general, no matter what, you have to stick it out because not only are you in this, there's little people and your spouse and everybody suffers even to this minute. When I see a little kid and he's holding his dad's hand, I always say, I wish I was there for you because you're my idol.
I love you because God told you everything that I didn't tell you, and you listen to God and you walk with God and God makes you the man that you are. And I wish that I could have been any kind of man like you. And I tell my friends that and I preach to them. You have to know God is watching you and God listens to you no matter right or wrong.
But if you listen to him in the right way and walk in his footsteps like, like he ask us to do every day, not minute by minute, but when you open your eyes, say, thank you, God, for letting me breathe and understand and feel what people need outta me to give to somebody else. Yeah. Because I tell everybody, don't take anymore.
Give. Give it all away. You don't need anything. Yeah. Give it away That day at the restaurant, I know I kind of like brought that up outta left field. What were you feeling in that moment when I brought that up? Sad. Broken because I know what it means to be, what it means to be a dad, and I have so many regrets, but being a musician, not an excuse, I.
Being in musician my whole life and not ever having to realize that I have to take care of somebody else other than me. Yeah. I've always been that way, and the last 10 years I've been married. Mm-hmm. And the last 10 years I realized the importance of being good for everybody else. Yeah. Giving to everybody else, listening to everybody else and not turning my back.
Yeah. On the rich or the poor or the, or the good or the bad. I don't think you would mind me telling the audience, you just turned 75 this year. Yeah. So for, you would say for 65 years, you just lived for yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As the last 10 years that you feel like you've, one thing that I actually admire about you dad, is I think you love people really well.
So I would hate to, uh, I'll get emotional. I don't want you to go to your grave. A heaviness. Like you've, we've all made mistakes. And like I said, I, I love you and I've forgiven you. I don't have any hard feelings towards you at all. But I also want you to feel like a sense of God made you. So, one thing I love about you is how well you love people.
And I think, and he made you really unique in that way. And so I just don't want you to go to the grave, think that you didn't love people well, alright. Every person that I see. Whether it be a man or a woman, I always say, I love you. Mm-hmm. And I mean it because I do love everybody and, and I feel like if I can make somebody else feel good or feel right, or feel needed or wanted, I.
It makes me feel great. Yeah. One thing that has been over the last, you know, from that day till today, it's, it's been about 10 years since that restaurant. Right. And I feel like that here was my sense from that conversation, and again, tell me if I was, if I'm wrong on this, it seemed like you had been wanting to have that conversation but didn't know how to bring it up.
And from my sense, it seemed like. Since it just got the elephant in the room, just got brought up, you know? 'cause we both knew that our relationship was strained, but we never talked about it in those kind of once in a while catch up. Yeah. So we would never talk about it. And then I just brought it up 'cause I was going through counseling and all this stuff.
And then after that though, it seemed like we talked much more regularly. It seemed like that was the start of our healing relationship or God starting to use that to heal a relationship. Was there a sense of relief that's like we could just get it out on, we can just talk about it. It was like when you asked me, I've always, like, we both cried, but I cry all the time, all the time.
I cry over little puppies. I cry over advertisement. I, I cry all the time. Mm-hmm. But I cried because. I love you so much. I loved you all my life so much, but I couldn't turn back the clock. Yeah. Ever. Yeah. And when I saw you again and I, I had somebody, like your book says, A woman is the most important part of your life.
Yeah. The woman I have in my life made me realize that you're the best thing in my life. She's the best thing in my life because God made us all. To love one another. Yeah. And when we talked, you know, we just sat down and said, why? Mm-hmm. And I told you why. Mm-hmm. A lot of the, a lot of the whys were not legit.
Yeah. But there were reasons, you know. Yeah, yeah. I understand. You can't go back and say, well, I should've, I would've. But today or that, that day it was like. Me and my son got to shake hands and say, yeah, welcome back. Yeah. Your life of my life don't ever leave me. Yeah. When I've talked to you, I don't know anything about your dad really.
I mean, I have like three pieces of information about him, but I don't know anything about my grandpa. But anytime I've asked you about him, it seems like that's a big pain point for you. Like. Basically what I'm saying is you didn't grow up with a great dad. It's not like you had an amazing dad, and then all of a sudden you decided I'm not gonna be a dad for my kid.
Like you had your dad was out. He left us. Yeah, he left. How old were you? Probably about five. Okay. Four. We have that same experience. Yeah. He left us in a motel. Hmm. He told my mom to go get money for the rent. He kept this hostage until my mom came up with money. Wow. To get us out of it. Have you processed in your own life, 75 years of life, how that impacted you?
Is that, has that, is it too hard to think about that? Or have you been able to look at that part of your life and say, my dad not being around has had these kinds of impacts on me, but I never had a death. Yeah. Ever. Yeah. I never had a death. Right. I was telling my friend in orange, uh, Orangeburg. Mm-hmm. I said, my son didn't have me for that.
'cause I was gone when it was like two or three. I said, but his father, God, his father Yeah. Stepped in and he, Jared walks in his father's shoes, not my shoes. Yeah. And I, and I thank his mother. Karen for taking you to Sunday school and teaching you to church and telling you no matter what, you have to be a man.
As if, if I had died and you know, you never knew your dad 'cause he died. Yeah. Literally. That's almost what I felt like in your life. But Karen took you there and Karen took you fishing and Karen took you here. Karen made up for me because she knew that you need to have some kind of stability. Yeah. Yeah.
And she did a great job. She never let you down. Yeah, she did a good job. Today's episode of the Dati Podcast is brought to you by WinShape Camps. Summer is right around the corner, if you can believe it or not, and your family is invited to experience the summer of a lifetime with Wind Shape Camps.
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You can learn more about what they're doing and all of their camps by going to win shape camps.org. Again, that's Win Shape Camps, WIN shape camps.org to get more information today, one thing that, remember I said that I, for most of my life, I didn't even realize that you not being there had an impact on me.
Like, I just thought I'm a fine, you know, I'm, I'm fine. It didn't really impact me. I remember people specifically asking me, how has your dad not being around when you were young impacted you? I was like, it hasn't, you know, I'm fine. But one thing I learned about myself was. I think there was a part of me that was always wanting to feel like I measured up, like I was good enough wanting the approval, you know?
And I think that's a boys now. I see that with my son and even my own kids. They want my approval. Right? So much. And because I didn't have you physically there to give me that approval. I think that I've found in my life, looking back, that I've. Sought after things that will make me feel like I'm good enough.
So sometimes that was music, you know, people cheering, you're doing a good job, you know? Wow. Look how talented you are. Or, and a lot of people on this listening to the podcast don't even know I ever played music. That that's, you know, you said you, you saw me in a band they didn't even know that was been like, part of my life is music.
But so sometimes it was music, sometimes it was sports, sometimes it was girls. Just whatever I could do to have somebody say like, wow, wow, you're good enough, you're impressive. But every time I. Would go to sleep at night. I still felt empty. You know what I'm saying? I never, I still didn't. Yeah. Can you relate to any of that?
I never knew my dad until I was like 27 years old and I didn't even know that my dad was black. Hmm. And I at that time was, some people's minds are just got blown that they, that I'm part black.
Yeah, I, I know. So, yeah, I knew that information. If you're listening, I knew I knew that piece of information, but some people are like, what, Jared? But I just feel I, anyway, go ahead. Yeah. My dad's telling you the truth. And at that time, I had a brand new. Brand new 1969 Lincoln. Mm-hmm. And I want, and I just, my mom told me that my dad wanted to meet me.
Mm. And I was so, so excited about meeting him. And I met him and he borrowed $500 and I never saw him again for, until I opened up the nacho man. Wow. So that's your only experience? That's my only experience. He left and then you saw him again and he wanted money from you. Yeah. He left us at the motel.
Yeah. I met him when I was 27. Yeah. Found out that my dad was black. Yeah. He borrowed money from me and took off. Yeah. There's no way that that can't shape you as a man and, and who you are today, your dad's absence. Absolutely shaped you in some way, you know, for better or worse, but it had an impact on you.
And I don't know what his dad was like, but I guess the point I'm getting at is that for probably hundreds of years in our family, we have a reputation of men not really being engaged dads. And that's why it was so important for me to like, I want to give my kids, I wanna give Elijah my son a different experience, you know?
Yes. Some of the guys are listening to this and their relationship with their dad is strained too. What would you tell a guy who's in his thirties and feels like his relationship with his dad is not good? The dads of today are nothing like the dads of my era. Mm-hmm. Because in my time there was like the Vietnam War, lot of drugs, lot of.
Promiscuity. Promiscuity. Yeah. Yeah. So it, it was kind of like life was free love and do what you want and do what? Yeah. But now everything in their kid's life depends on their attitude. Like your generation of, of kid. Are more independent. Mm-hmm. You know how to stand up for your rights. You know how to earn money, you know how to do things.
Mm-hmm. And make better choices than my generation. So if your dad is like a deadbeat dad or a so much of a, not a affectionate dad. Yeah. Because. Our generation of man was supposed to be macho. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Women's supposed to do this, man is supposed to do that. But now it's equal ground for men and women.
'cause women try to fight for the rights to mm-hmm. Have the same equality as men. Mm-hmm. But. You're 36, 37. 37. 37, and I'm 75, so we're like almost 40 years apart. Mm-hmm. The generation, most people my age, dads mm-hmm. Are dead. Mm-hmm. Because yeah, we have wars. They were dwindled down to nothing. Mm-hmm. Women outnumbers 11 to one, but getting back to dads.
The age limit from you to me, and the age limit from kids who are 35 and the dads are 50. Mm-hmm. Most dads now have to work two jobs and, and do a lot more. And moms are working too. So for guys who are years 30, 25 to 40, mm-hmm. You're at the age that you guys are capable of being presidents. Mm-hmm.
Lawyers, doctors. But back in our days, there was minimal jobs. Yeah. Less money. Now we, we face politics, religion, racism, drugs, and men, good men, fathers and sons have to realize what is most important thing for them today. You don't wake up and go speed in your car. You don't go hang out with your buddies and get drunk.
You have to make money to survive and live and. That's the key thing for kids nowadays. Are you saying that they're the older generation, so the guys 25 to 40, their dads didn't know how to be, talk about emotions. You probably didn't when you were growing up, guys probably didn't talk about emotions, how you're feeling, all that kind of stuff.
Yeah. Do you think that they would respond well if a guy my age went to their dad the way that I went to you? And was the first to bring it up and to say, dad, here's how your, you raising me impacted me. Do you think that guys in your generation, you know, anywhere from 55 to 80 Right? Would be receptive of guys my age coming to them and, and letting them know how they feel.
If someone your age went to their dad and kinda like, uh, spoke out about. The rapport between the two of them. Yeah. And wish that it was different or maybe you could do this. Yeah. Or maybe you could do, maybe the dad would, you know, open his eyes and say, yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe we should, you know, talk more or communicate more or be around each other more.
But today your sister, my daughter lives 17 miles from me. We very rarely talk unless she needs, uh, to talk to my wife. Yeah. Because. The generation today, as soon as you're 18, you wanna be away from your parents. Yeah. Because your parents live in that restriction era. You can't do this or don't do that, and blah, blah, blah.
I made you, I, I support you. You can't do this. And kids today don't wanna hear. You can't. Yeah. They wanna be. I know what I want. I'm, when I'm 18, I'm gonna leave. Yeah. And half the parents go, I hope you leave when you're 18. Well, I would say to that, 'cause I'm in that generation that's fiercely independent.
If I, if I'm tracking with what you're saying, they're fiercely independent and I'll do my own thing. I can take care of myself. We have new rules and the technology gap, even the amount of technology that's changed from, yeah, from that, those generations is huge. But I would say as independent as.
40-year-old and under acts like they still really, really want the approval and affection of their parents. Okay. Whether they act like that or not, whether they act like that or not. So if that is the case to the listeners, if you feel like Jared did in this sentence right now, be bold enough to go up to your dad and hug him.
Mm. And say. That's how a dad son. Yeah. Date day or hangout day. Yeah. If you're saying what you're saying, because your emotions are from God, all your thoughts are from God. The normal man is not God walking. Yeah. The normal man is. Wondering what he can do or where he can go or what he can get or what he needs and how to get it.
Yeah. You should watch this document. There's a documentary called The Work and it's about, it's a documentary on, I think it's every year, could be every four years. The guys in Folsom Prison, maximum Security Prison, which is near you, Folsom. They go through like an intense group therapy. The prisoners do, but I think it's once a year, they open it up to the public and men can go join these prisoners.
In group therapy for, I don't know, a week, and they said they go, they show up every morning and they go through these group counseling sessions. It's very intense to watch, but the reason I say that is every single one of the prisoners, and even then even the non prisoners, all the men that are going through every one of 'em, talk about their dad had some kind of good dad, bad dad, some, some everyone.
Every man in there. Has some kind of dad story, you know? Yeah. And it's just so important like this. I mean, this is the whole reason we do dad type podcast is I think that dads change everything. A perfect example of the dad stories. We lived it yesterday. Hmm. Like I said to you, you walk with God, not very many people walk with God every day.
Yeah. It's hard to be a non sinner. What comes out of our mouth and our minds every single day. Yeah. Good or bad, some of it's a sin and some of it's not. So when you wake up in life today, 25, 21, 18, 40, 70, 80, the most important thing you have to remember today is God lets you live one more day to recognize the good of him.
If you don't recognize that, so be it. Take the good and the bad for your day. But if you bring God into your day, even the, the bad things at the end of the day will, will reward you for your just and your, your attempt to find the level from God to earth and you that it is right here. At the end of the day, you can go to sleep knowing that you know God protected you today.
Yeah. Right or wrong. Yeah. I'll close out our time just by saying, I've thought about this a lot, and I think you even mentioned this when you came with me on those speaking engagements, but if I could redo my whole childhood, I don't think I would change anything because for better or worse, and your brokenness and my brokenness and your dad's brokenness, all of it.
I just really trust God's plan for all of it, and it shaped me to be the man I am today. I think it's changing the way that our family is. And if you were around every day, if, if our story was completely different opposite of what it was, dad tired, probably wouldn't be here, you know? Yeah. And I just think that the amount of life change that I get to see every day from guys and.
The way that God has used all the brokenness to make beautiful things, I, I don't think I would change it. So I love you. I don't have any, any hard feelings towards you. I think you've given me a lot of great qualities that I'm, I'm grateful for. I wouldn't change anything. And also thank you for even sitting down and having the conversation.
'cause I, I know it's hard to talk about, so especially the old generation that doesn't wanna talk about this stuff, but I appreciate it. Thank you, Dan. I love you. I love you too, Dan. Thank you.