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You’re tired.
Not just physically; though yeah, that too.
You’re tired in your bones. In your soul.
Trying to be a steady husband, an intentional dad, a man of God… but deep down, you feel like you’re falling short. Like you’re carrying more than you know how to hold.
Dad Tired is a podcast for men who are ready to stop pretending and start healing.
Not with self-help tips or religious platitudes, but by anchoring their lives in something (and Someone) stronger.
Hosted by Jerrad Lopes, a husband, dad of four, and fellow struggler, this show is a weekly invitation to find rest for your soul, clarity for your calling, and the courage to lead your family well.
Through honest stories, biblical truth, and deep conversations you’ll be reminded:
You’re not alone. You’re not too far gone. And the man you want to be is only found in Jesus.
This isn’t about trying harder.
It’s about coming home.
Hey y'all, and welcome back to the Dad Tired podcast. Today's episode is brought to you by the Dwell Bible app. Did you set a goal to read through the Bible this year? But January is already flying by and now it feels too late to start with dwell. It's never too late to dive into scripture. Dwell makes it simple and accessible by letting you listen to the Bible, whether you're commuting, cooking, or just relaxing.
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That's dwell bible.com/dad tired. Check 'em out today.
Alright guys, what's up? It is the New Year, first podcast of the New Year. And as we do around the season, like I think all of us are trying to reset and think through what life is and what life should be. And uh, you know, you just get into this thing over the holidays where you eat too much and you sleep too much and lose all of your rhythm and all of your routine.
And then I was fishing with my, uh, my 17-year-old and some little kids yesterday and just not catching anything. I just spent the whole day like. Uh, fixing knots and trying to get the kids to not cast their bait on the boat like they put it in the water. And my 17-year-old looked at me and said, I think we need to fish just you and I soon and my 17-year-old can really fish.
But, um, you know, you're spending so much time with family and so much time with kids that it's easy to lose, lose your rhythm in the season. And so I think it's super helpful. I know almost everyone does around this time of year to. To stop, to think, to be intentional about the way that you're gonna live your year and what, what matters in this year.
And so for me, I want to, I wanna take you back to a story. I don't know, I've probably taught this 10 times over the years, but this is something I come back to, um, pretty often as I try to. Establish my life, um, in a rhythm of prayer. Prayer is, um, something Jesus methodically turns to, um, teaches us to pray without ceasing.
But prayer is really funny because unless you're really intentional with it, you just, your emotions tend to choose. Other things, right? Like my emotions tend to choose entertainment or to sleep a little longer. Uh, I have to choose from my heart prayer again and again and again. And, you know, I've written on prayer, preached on prayer, built a community here in my church, local church community where prayer is one of the foundational things we do.
And I still wrestle, man, especially through the holidays. And, and so I think it's important this time of year to return to some, some, some basic stories, themes that have helped me. And so in a lot of ways, this is for me today as I wrestle through trying to reestablish my rhythms and to make sure I'm intentional.
Um, but wanna just kind of take you on the journey here. I wanna look at James five 17 through 18. You know, it, um, Elijah was a man with a nature like ours and he prayed fervently that it might not rain. And for three years I. In six months, it did not rain on the earth and then he prayed again and heaven gave its reign in the earth bore it's fruit.
Elijah was a man with a nature like ours and prayed fervently that it might not rain for three years and six months. It did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again and the heaven gave its reign in the earth bore. It's for James writes this, um. Sometimes before 60 AD ish, and you probably know this, but James is the half brother of Jesus.
Scripture tells us that he is the younger brother of Jesus. The gospels tell us that none of the siblings of Jesus, um, believed or had faith or followed until after the resurrection. But at some point after the resurrection, James becomes a real kind of centerpiece in church leadership. And Acts 15, this favorite famous council where they're talking about the inclusion of the Gentiles James.
James kind of stands and seems to make the decision. Church history teaches really clearly that he is the kind of the, the head in many ways of the church in Jerusalem in this period. And so James becomes a really important. Figure in the early church. And it's interesting to think about James as the half brother of Jesus, obviously from Mary.
Um, were there physical characteristics that like, surely James and Jesus shared some physical traits, maybe even talked to the same? And when you start to think about James' theology or particular James had a great emphasis on prayer, you wonder if he saw, heard, overheard Jesus praying at certain points as he grew up and.
But church history tells us some things about James that has moved me for years that I've thought about for years. Um, UBI, who is our earliest historian that we have, UBI quotes a lot of earlier writers, but Ubi is the earliest church historian we have tells us that James was known to be found in the temple on his knees, interceding for the people asking for forgiveness to the people.
UCB said so much so that his knees became hard. After the manner of a camel while always bending down upon a knee while worshiping God and asking forgiveness. Um, so. Some, there's some tradition in church history that refers to James, James, Jacob, or James. The just he's referred to as odd times. Sometimes he's referred to as Camel Knee James, because church history said that he spent so much time in that posture on his knees interceding, praying that his knees became calloused, kind of deformed hard, and the way that a camel's knees are from the camel kneeling and getting up and.
So I've thought a lot about this passage of scripture in Elijah, uh, talking about Elijah in James five because James is writing to the Jerusalem church. And the best sermons that any person preaches are sermons that they live. The best sermons that I've ever preached are sermons that I've wrestled through for months, that I've overcome things in my soul and then been able to communicate it.
And there's an power there. And I just think as James sits down to write, I. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours. I think he's been telling himself this for years. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain. In other words, he's appealing to the power of prayer in Elijah's life, but he doesn't just appeal to it like his knees.
His physical body is deformed in such a way that his body tells the story. His knees are totally broken. Now again, um, James is referred to as the, just we, we, we have martyrdom stories of James Martyrdom. There's, there's some nuance and some shifts in the way the tradition goes, but I'll give you kind of a, um, an overarching summary.
So History says that James was pretty influential in the community and there was a period where Jewish leadership was really going after the Christians. And so James became a target. So they take James to the pinnacle of the temple, uh, which was pretty high. Um, you kind of see all of the crowds down below and the leadership, they're asking James to renounce Christ to renounce Jesus.
And one story says that James said this, why do you ask me about Jesus, the son of man? He sits in heaven at the right hand of the great power, and he will soon come on the clouds of heaven. And so he's standing on the pinnacle of the temple and before all of Jewish Jewish leadership, at least some influential ones.
And they're saying, renounce Jesus. Renounce Jesus. And he says, why do you ask me about Jesus? He's seated at the right hand of power, which is a reference to Daniel seven and a reference to Jesus's own words in the great commission when he says, all authority in heaven and earth is given to me. It's a reference to Jesus's words before Pilate when he says, you'll see me coming on the clouds of heaven.
This, this is prophecy. It's Messianic prophecy, but it's also prophecy that points to the deity of Christ. And so in other words, James is standing on the pinnacle of the temple and they say, Ren, now it's Jesus. And he says, no, he's the fulfillment of Daniel seven. He's the fulfillment of all Messianic prophecy.
And the scripture that, not scripture, but history says it was about 62 AD when James was, um. Beaten with clubs, and as he, he's standing on the pinnacle of the temple and they ask him to renounce Jesus and he doesn't, and they essentially just throw him down. Now that fall would, you would think that you would die on impact, but he, but he kind of didn't.
He was definitely mangled. But tradition says that he rolls over to his knees and prays th like, father, forgive them prayer. And that then they beat him with clubs or stone him, um, as he refuses to renounce Jesus. Now, tradition goes on to say that before they buried James, that all the young men in the church came by his, again, kind of mangled body, and they wanted to rub their hands over his knees to feel the calluses from where he had spent his life in prayer.
Now that's. A super interesting story. It's crazy to think about there. There are some men in history, oh shoot, I'm thinking. Um. I think I'm right about this. Ian Bounds, who wrote so much on prayer, the necessity of prayer is an Ian Bounds, one that's really helpful when you try to get your mind right about prayer.
One of the things that's helped me is when I'm struggling to engage my prayer life to be consistent in my prayer life. Being around people who pray and reading people who have prayed has kept my fire burning. Ian Bounds is super helpful to read to someone who spent a life in prayer. I think it was Ian Bounds.
I'm pretty sure I'm right, that says that, um. People would go into his house and where he knelt and his floorboards, his floorboards were dented from the position, like the ground of his house, the floorboard of his house was giving out. You hear their stories from time to time. I told you recently about John Hyde praying John Hyde, who his heart cavity shifted because he spent so much time with his head in between his knees.
Um, when these kind of men. Who lived their whole lives in prayer. Talk about prayer. It's helpful to listen. And James is that kind of man that his knees, again, are so deformed, calloused, um, padded with thick callous because he spent so much time in prayer. And so when he says to the church, Elijah was a man with the nature like ours, yet he prayed and it didn't rain for three and a half years.
Like the church perks up. They're going, oh, like this. This isn't just another sermon. This isn't just gibberish. This isn't, you know, um. Go get 'em. Tiger kind of speech. James is talking to us from experience and from broken. They wanna rub the callouses on his knees. Of course, they want to hear what he has to say and what he says when he begins to talk about prayer and the prayer life and how prayer is impactful is he appeals to Elijah.
He says Elijah was a man with a nature like ours. This is obviously a reference to. Elijah's emotional ups and downs. We talked recently about Elijah's kind of, uh, after calling fire down from Heaven, running from Jezebel, experiencing depression, despair, praying, God take my life. And so James is pointing to Elijah and saying, look, he, he's not.
A supernatural being. He's a prophet. Yeah, but he's, but he's a man. He's a, he's a man with highs and lows. He's a man with emotions. A man who gets hungry and tired and frustrated, and you get all of those things. That's kind of the thrust here. You get all of those things. You get tired and hungry and emotional.
And your nature, your, your humanity is never going to rise above the, you're never gonna be a super human. You're never gonna have super power. You're always just gonna be a person, a frail. Weak person. The secret sauce of Elijah's life is not that he had a super human nature or that he was a super spiritual giant.
The secret sauce of Elijah's life is this. He prayed and James is nudging the church. Pray and, and kind of imagine him saying, come to me with a temple. This is the temple and pray. You know, you see me sitting on my knees for hours a day asking God for forgiveness, asking God to pour out his spirit on our people.
You see me that come pray with me. Imagine James. Say, come, come pray with me. Um, I. We are obviously all gifted in different ways. We're all called in different manners, and I do think that there are some who God really puts his hand on and says, um, you're gonna be an intercessor or you're gonna be a person who really prays.
But the command here is universal. It's, look there, there are no. Individuals again, who have a super secret connection to God. We have one high priest, one intercessor, that's Christ. Um, for the rest of us, we, we are all called to come and pray. And Lyn Ravenhill used to say over and over, no man is greater than his prayer life.
So first thing first is like we all have highs and lows. We don't get to look at our pastor and go, you're super spiritual, so you do that praying stuff and we'll watch college football. Um, that doesn't work. Like we all have highs and lows. We all have moments of despair. We all tend, if we allow our emotions to decide to choose against prayer, to choose to do anything else, it's not always particularly thrilling or exciting.
And so in many ways, prayers work, right? Like it is a work, but it's a work we choose to do. So Elijah was a man with nature like ours. Second. He teaches us to pray fervency, but he prayed. He prayed fervently that it might not rain. Uh, the Greek here is interesting. It reads, praying. He prayed or he continues to pray.
He doesn't stop praying there. That doublet there and tends to inspire consistency. And he's teaching us in a lot of ways that it's possible to pray without praying. And I know that's a strange thought, but I really believe this. I think I've learned this over the years. Um, I know a lot of people who go to church and who sing the songs or they read the words on the screen and their mouths move, but they've never learned to really worship, to really engage the heart, and that's super interesting.
And a challenge every time I enter into worship, to engage my heart to, to cause my heart, to rise up and sing, and to thank Jesus, and to bless God, to, to ask my whole being, to engage in this act of reverence. Um, and it's the same with prayer. You can, you can fumble through. Your nightly prayers, you know, uh, now I lay me down to sleep prayers, or you can fumble through your prayer list in a way in which your heart is disengaged and your mind is just running through the motions.
And so the idea of praying fervently is. Causing your whole being to come into this act, to come into this Cause it's not necessarily to pray longer, to pray the longest you think of Jesus saying, when you pray, don't heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do for they think they'll be heard for their many words.
It's not heaping up empty phrases, it's. Engaging the heart. Think of the persistent widow parable, right? She keeps coming and keeps knocking and keeps pleading with the judge and this parable that Jesus gives, the judge isn't even a just judge and he doesn't care about her. Um, but because she's persistent, the judge gives her what she asks for, gives her justice.
And that parable's kind of this weird inverse thing of like, God does care about us, and God does listen. And so he says, keep coming and keep knocking, and don't lose heart and pray without ceasing. And. The image of Elijah praying for rain. This is actually, um, it might be strange depending on your context, but in a lot of, um, historic teaching on prayer, there's this idea of travail.
Okay? And travail is the image of a woman giving birth. And, uh, a lot of times when you read about travail or people teaching on travailing for the Lord. The scriptural reference here is this picture of Elijah because he's got his head between his knees. Um, and so imagine his knees are up, his head's between his knees and he's praying, and the, the image is kind of like a woman in labor, right?
Like crying and pushing and. You can't, you can't be in labor and your whole being not be engaged, right? Like you're, you're, you feel the pain and the emotion and the let this happen. This has gotta come to pass. That's sometimes the image that people have used historically of travail or travailing in prayer, is to put your head down in between your knees and pray and cry and pray and cry and push in prayer until you see breakthrough.
So Elijah prays. For rain. And then he tells a servant, go look and see, and they don't see anything. And seven times he prays and nothing happens, prays, and nothing happens. The last time he puts his head between his knees and he prays and he says, go see if there's anything. And do you remember? His servant says, I see a cloud the size of my hand.
And there we see Elijah's faith because as soon as there's the first sign of answered prayer, Elijah jumps up and says it's happening. God's moving. And that's a challenge for us to pray with all of our being consistently, right? Like to not quit on prayer, to keep coming and to keep praying. And seven times he does that.
I used to love this idea that Artie Kindle shares, I think in a book on the parables he wrote, but Artie Kindle talking about the widow who comes. And keeps persisting so that you ought to pray every time you pray, as if you have never prayed before and as if you'll never pray again. And so when I pray for my kids, he's saying like, pray for your kids this morning like you've never prayed for them before, and you'll never be able to pray for them again.
Pray with that kind of urgency, like, God bless these kids. God, speak to these kids. May the ears of their heart. Their minds be open to the voice of the spirit. Would they be washed in the gospel? Would they be trans? Would their hearts of stone become hearts of flesh? Like really pray for your kids like you've never prayed from before, and you've never will get the chance to pray for them again.
And then when you come back tomorrow, art Kindle would say, pray that hard again with that kind of fervency and so. That again is the picture of the widow coming and knocking and pleading with the, the judge for justice. And so we were supposed to pray, pray, pray, and then, then, then we're supposed to remember Elijah's faith.
Like the moment there was a cloud in this guy, he said, we've got it. Um, he believed prayer worked. Um, and that's a challenge for me because I, I pray there are some things I pray for every day. Some people I pray for every day and I don't always see immediate results. Um, and so it's a challenge for me. To live in faith and to believe that what I'm doing is impactful.
Um, but most people who spend their lives in prayer, and I think I could say this to an extent, would say that when they look back down the timeline of their life, the prayers were answered on God's timeline and not ours. And so you pray for. Um, kids and you pray for your kids to return to the Lord. If you've got older kids and you believe, and you believe, and you believe and you expect God to do it, when you get to the pinnacle of your urgency in prayer, and he doesn't always answer right when you want him to answer, but he is moving, I think he is moving on our behalf.
Um, I. Most people say, when you look back down the corridor of your life, you'll say, no, no, no. God answered all the prayers and in his time, in his way. Um, sometimes obviously James talks about we pray for things that are, we're motivated by selfish ambition. You have not because you ask, not when you do ask.
You ask with selfish motives. Some of your prayers motivated by selfishness. But the real praying, the praying that really happens when your heart is torn before the Lord. Your face is between your knees and you've engaged your whole being, right? Like not just rattling off a few common things that you mumble every now and again, but your, your heart and your mind are engaged in this work, this labor, those kind of prayers.
God hears and God answers. And so then James says, and, and look at the impact of Elijah's life. He broke weather patterns. He looks at Ahab and says, it will not rain until I say so. And you know, there's, there's drought and there's famine. And then he comes back and says, now it's gonna rain three and a half years later.
And so Elijah's life is messing up the weather. He is, he's known as a man of great power. Great miraculous power. And um, there's this, obviously, this picture of John the Baptist kind of beating his heir, or Malachi tells us that in chapter four that. Um, Elijah would come again, and we think about John the Baptist life and the power and his preaching and his proclamation.
It's not necessarily miraculous power like Elijah, but it is this power to bring people to repentance and an authority in his proclamation. And there's this image that. All of that is wrapped up in Elijah's prayer life that the, even the chariot sweeping down in fire and capturing Elijah up. All of that is birthed from the soil of E Life devoted to prayer.
And James, I think, is inviting his congregation, his first century reader, listener into his life, which is daily coming to the temple, spending hours on his knees, so much that his knees are crying out for relief. Hours on his knees and he's saying, Hey, let's live our lives this way. We wanna have impactful, meaningful, purposeful lives.
Let's live our lives on our knees. Remember Elijah, he had big highs and lows and he was weak and tired and frustrated, but he stopped the rain up. And then when he prayed again, the rain came and remember the, the, all the miraculous power we see through Elijah and then, and then John the Baptist having all this power and there, there is a, a life to be lived that's, that's.
Holy and pure and devoted and useful in the hands of God. And that life is a life of prayer. And so turning again to a new year and holidays got me all outta whack. And I've just confessing before you. Now I've prayed every day. Um, but I think there are a lot of days where I was letting words come off my lips and my heart wasn't engaged.
And today, as I. You know, look at my weak life. My, I'm tired and frustrated and emotional. Um, I just wanna come back to this place of like, no, I want to engage my whole heart in being and cry. Put my head between my legs and cry out. God, use my life and bless my children and use my church. I. And teach me to be a discipler and make me an evangelist.
I used to pray that as a young guy, a like, make me an evangelist, Scott. I'm the opposite of an evangelist, such an introvert. Um, but asking God, you use my life, uh, to bring people to Christ. And, and so I just want to maybe lay that before you today as you think about your new year to remind you of James.
His broken knees falling from the temple and then crawling back over to pray. Father forgive them. And to think about all the young men who wanna rub their hands on his callous knees. And then to think about the church now for thousands of years reading his words. Elijah was a man who prayed like us, or imagine he was a man with the nature like us, but he prayed.
Um. And that again, has messed with me for a while, and I hope it messes with you today. I hope it challenges you today. I hope you pray as if prayer matters, as if your kids' lives are impacted by it, as if your prayers are heard in heaven. And I hope you have the kind of faith that Elijah had to see just a little cloud in the distance and to stand up and say, God is listening.
Um. I pray that helps you in the coming days. Alright guys, I love you. Get with you in the weeks to come. I pray you have a a wonderful week. Lemme know if there's anything I can do for you.