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Each week, Amanda Campbell interviews amazing people, who will share their inspiring stories of resilience. Amanda dives deep into 40-minute DNM’s with guests, exploring their stories of how they have overcome adversity in their lives professionally and personally.
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:32:21
Unknown
Welcome to the Bend Like Bamboo Podcast. I'm your host, Amanda Campbell, kinesiology resilience coach and author who knows what it feels like when your body betrays you or burnout nearly breaks you. This podcast is for those healing from chronic conditions and autoimmune disease and also for leaders navigating burnout and overwhelm. You're about to hear real stories of transformation, the messy middle, the breakthrough moments, the science and practical tools that actually work.
00:00:32:23 - 00:00:57:21
Unknown
Because resilience isn't about being unbreakable. It's about learning to bend without breaking. Let's dive in. Eli, Welcome to the Bend Like Bamboo Podcast. I'm so excited to chat to you today. Great to be here. Amanda, nice to see you. Now, where are you coming from? Whereabouts are you broadcasting from? Toronto, Canada. In my son's bedroom. Love it. Love it.
00:00:57:23 - 00:01:18:21
Unknown
And we're here in Melbourne, Australia. And I really appreciate your time today. And, you know, I met you last year and I love your work and I love your book. And we're going to talk about, like I said, my background's there we go there. I'll hold it up. There you go. Yeah, who knows? It's off line now. It's great.
00:01:18:23 - 00:01:59:20
Unknown
Now we're going to talk all about it. Your story, your amazing career. May I introduce you properly? Please? Please. So I'm so excited to introduce today's guest, Eli Singer. Eli is a coach, CEO and author who helps people to find digital balance in our always connected world. And his story is absolutely fascinating. Eli's career spans everything from bootstrapping and exiting intrinsic one of North America's first social media agencies to leading high impact campaigns for iconic brands like Google, Coca-Cola, Ford and MoMA.
00:01:59:22 - 00:02:25:15
Unknown
He has published Thought Leadership in Harvard Business Review. But here's where his journey gets really interesting. As an adult, Eli discovered that his creative strengths and relentless drive were fueled in part by ADHD. And there's a beautiful irony here. The person who helped to build the social media world is now helping people to disconnect from it in healthy ways.
00:02:25:17 - 00:02:57:07
Unknown
And what once seemed like a challenge turned into an opportunity as Eli learned to harness his neurodivergent. Now, as an ICF trained coach. He mentors Neurodivergent professionals, particularly those with ADHD who are navigating high pressure environments at offline DOT now. Eli helps people to understand the addictive relationship with technology, not through shame and judgment, but through practical tools and strategies that create sustainable change.
00:02:57:09 - 00:03:27:00
Unknown
Eli, Welcome to the Ben like Bambu podcast. You're incredible. Happy to be here. Boy, you make me sound fantastic. I'm just doing my thing. But let's see where this all goes. Yeah, well, your thing is pretty cool, and your thing helps a lot of people. I have so many clients, you know, as the resilience coach and kinesiology physiologist, I see a lot of clients that struggle with neuro divergence and ADHD and and how it affects their personal lives, how they feel within themselves, but also their performance at work.
00:03:27:00 - 00:03:53:12
Unknown
And that's what your work has led to. And what an incredible journey. Tell me where you'd like to start and I'm happy to jump in. Well, my first question for you is I'd love to talk about the ion irony about building the digital world and then helping people to disconnect. So there's such a compelling story in the irony of it.
00:03:53:12 - 00:04:21:05
Unknown
And you co-founded Intrinsic one of North America's first social media agencies. And as I've just described, you've led campaigns for big brands like Google, Coca-Cola, Ford, and now you're bringing more awareness into a digital world that so many of us do struggle to disconnect from. And then as an adult, you discovering that you have ADHD. That helped, I'm sure to explain a few things, but can you take us back to that moment of discovery?
00:04:21:07 - 00:04:46:15
Unknown
When did you realize the very tools and platforms that you used to create were also contributing to overwhelm for yourself and for others? And what made you pivot from building digital connection to helping people find digital balance? Right. Well, you know, I think it's like most things it things happen slowly and then all at once. I mean, we might forget the original web from the late nineties and early 2000.
00:04:46:15 - 00:05:06:14
Unknown
It was I was listening to Delight actually this morning. And, you know, from New York City, the in the age of Communication, I'm like, wow, they used to call that the age of communication because people had email addresses and websites and they were able to talk to each other in ways that they never could before and get in areas of interest.
00:05:06:14 - 00:05:34:14
Unknown
And so that's what, you know, really brought me into the Web. I you know, and that was the early days of intrinsic and social media. It was building communities and blog strategies and bringing together people with like minded interests and helping them learn from one another and build something new. And that's what we were doing with nonprofit and large companies that were used to a broadcast world where you know, you could put something on TV and no one could ever talk back.
00:05:34:16 - 00:06:05:20
Unknown
So we really tried to act as translators to help people. And but as the web started to evolve, it changed from community building to attention harvesting. And it was, you know, pretty clear. You know, obviously from someone that knows the web that everything's ones and zeros, everything could be monitored and tracked. But it was when the major social network started to come out and started to really collect that information at scale.
00:06:05:22 - 00:06:38:12
Unknown
And, you know, along with people's interests and their areas of expertise and their four friend networks and the topics that they wanted to be talking about and taking quizzes so they could be psychologically profiled, it became and then advertised, too, having seen both sides of it. Right. The consumer side, but also the business side and seeing how the ad networks operated, it was just pretty clear that what was being assembled could be used in a way that was a little dark, in my opinion.
00:06:38:14 - 00:07:07:15
Unknown
And you know, we got out of the agency in 2014 and I was happy to have that kind of closed because we went from building community strategies to, you know, selling products online because we had a 30 person business that we had to keep everybody, you know, we had to keep everybody paid. So we were just taking the projects and it just kind of felt like it lost its meaning.
00:07:07:17 - 00:07:36:21
Unknown
We, you know, really wanting to have a healthy relationship with tech was always important to me. In the early days of the agency, I remember sitting in like our first office, like, you know, working hard to try to make something happen. And I would be like on Foursquare or something. And seeing other people I knew in the city, like checking in with, I'm checking into Coca-Cola's office, I'm checking in like all these brands and like, wow, they've got tons of business.
00:07:37:02 - 00:07:55:08
Unknown
And I know and it made me feel terrible. And so it was kind of those moments that I just decided, you know, I'm going to do my own thing and be to my dream and stay away from the FOMO. It just didn't feel healthy. I guess that that that's a little bit of the story behind the irony, if that helps.
00:07:55:08 - 00:08:18:24
Unknown
I mean, we could. Yeah, keep talking. Absolutely. And, and do you think the next wave of technology is also going to take us to a whole new level? Because I love how you just described that. We went from the website, the Web, and websites and emails and blogs, and it was a beautiful way to create connection and community, but also in a way where people could talk back.
00:08:18:24 - 00:08:56:19
Unknown
I love the way that you describe that, and that's when it was cool. That's when it was productive and and amazing back then. And I wonder what that was like for you building your career. From the very start. It would have been very exciting and it was very exciting. We were inventing and, you know, it was really exciting building in Toronto because we were a big enough city to have a lot of culture, a lot of our a lot of diverse communities, but a small enough city that there wasn't like there were only a few of every type of person and there was a lot of collaboration.
00:08:56:19 - 00:09:27:01
Unknown
There wasn't competition. So there was this new media community that was just building something new. I was like the blogger that went to business school. It was after the agency when I consulted for a bunch of years, decided to move into coaching, received my ADHD diagnosis myself. That helped frame things a little bit. Learning about how my brain operated was very helpful.
00:09:27:03 - 00:09:56:11
Unknown
Working with other founders, understanding how to support them and other just in general, speaking a lot with therapists and coaches and social workers and really just coming to understand that this relationship with devices was being seen across everything. Like you and I were speaking. You see it in people's physical bodies. Marriage counselors see it in the relationships. Parent coaches see it in in the frustration.
00:09:56:13 - 00:10:24:01
Unknown
You know, people that have anxiety or OCD and depression, it can be magnified. And nutritionists see it in body image issues with spending, with Vince, with inspiration. And then there's LinkedIn FOMO, like online dating rejection, not to mention like online gambling, online shopping, pornography. All of these are being manifest in the conversations people are having with the coaches and therapists and counselors around them.
00:10:24:03 - 00:10:51:11
Unknown
But there wasn't so much of a vocabulary around how to for people to really talk to them, like to be expressed themselves, what they were feeling and how to move on. And a lot of the information out there, like the screen apps that are rule based on how many hours a day you should use it. And if you're any if you use it anymore, your brain's going to melt or break up with your phone.
00:10:51:11 - 00:11:24:03
Unknown
So it's binary. You're either using it or you're not. And so the conversation, it seemed to me to be very absolutist and people feel a lot of guilt and shame if they're not able to kind of achieve that goal that they want for themselves. And so I think with offline now we're trying to do is create a way for people to get into that conversation because they want to get into it, but without shame and without judgment so that they can achieve their own goals on their own terms.
00:11:24:05 - 00:11:49:19
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. What do you think the difference is between so and with ADHD versus someone who does not and they get, you know, get overwhelmed or over consumed in the digital world, How does it impact them differently? Yeah, well, I mean, I'll say that the, you know, the general term that if you've met one person with ADHD, you met one person with ADHD.
00:11:49:21 - 00:12:21:09
Unknown
I mean, and I'm certainly no neuroscientist, people can have challenges with mood. People can have challenges ruminating or letting things go. Yeah, you know, there's certainly people can get very excited about a certain task or an idea and their commitment to want to do it. But then that commitment can fall off pretty fast if they don't have the processes in place.
00:12:21:11 - 00:13:01:16
Unknown
You know, there's, there's the dopamine angle of how the web can, you know, the phones can deliver to the dopamine experience. I think there's the relationships with friends, family, parents, kids, partners. You know, if you have ADHD, you can have challenges with time management. Yeah, getting your to do list done, being reliable to the people around you and there it can get to points where it can expresses a disability as a cognitive impairment.
00:13:01:18 - 00:13:34:18
Unknown
For some people, medicine works, For some people it doesn't and it can be challenging for them to be the person that they want to be on medication. There are certain kinds of interventions that are universally helpful, like like potentially working out, being physically active. So, you know, there's like a whole tool set out there. But I mean, I think it's really important for people to take the time to get to know how their own brain works.
00:13:34:20 - 00:14:13:19
Unknown
Yes. And what works for them. Typically, the way the ADHD brain operates is that needs to be engaged. It requires stimulation. And it it it is very heavily attracted to curious tasks that are engaging. And so figuring out how to become more curious about the things that you want to be doing so that you can get yourself more engaged in that like hyper focused state.
00:14:13:21 - 00:14:39:14
Unknown
Yes. And and really forgiving yourself and being gentle with yourself in the moments where it's just not working. Exac really. You know, I've got a wonderful colleague of mine who shares her struggles and, you know, she's learning more and more to just be kind to herself on the times of days or particular days where she knows that you just can't perform.
00:14:39:16 - 00:15:10:24
Unknown
And instead of berating herself over it, you know, we've been working on her and she has been working on just accepting that and loving herself despite that and reducing stress levels around, you know, and we're all we all I don't have ADHD, but I certainly have particular days of my cycle. And also having multiple sclerosis. So and I'm on monthly on a medication that's monthly and I know I'm totally and on the couch for like two days, maybe three.
00:15:10:24 - 00:15:32:01
Unknown
Wow. And so I yeah, but that's nothing compared to some of the other injections I used to take where I was in bed for three weeks out of the month. Yes, every day. It's a huge win. But yeah, it is three days and it's really when you've got you know, my business is going so well, I'm super busy, all these opportunities and I get frustrated over those three days lying down.
00:15:32:01 - 00:16:06:18
Unknown
But I have to reframe it and shift my mindset around. It's an opportunity for me to just sit and reflect and just lie down. Yeah, that's right. You just have to, you know, there's the expectations that others put on you and the expectations you put on yourself and and just understanding where that pressure is coming from. Yeah. Might be one way to help, you know, relieve some of the tension but also changing your own expectations and like how you want to use the time.
00:16:06:18 - 00:16:30:07
Unknown
It's you know so much of it's about routine and maybe to bring it back to two devices and phones a little bit is over the last couple of years unintentionally as these things have worm their way into our lives. Take a look like people can take a look at their routines, like, can I sit on the toilet like one use to go to the bathroom, maybe grab a book or a magazine.
00:16:30:09 - 00:16:58:23
Unknown
Many people will set their hair, their washroom routine involves their phone, and it might be like a 30 minute bathroom break as opposed to like the three minute bathroom break. Yeah, right. And like going to bed. You can involve spending time on a device. Even if you're in bed with your partner, you know, being on the couch after dinner, hanging out, being at dinner, you know, these these phones, these devices have worm their way in and become part of our lives.
00:16:59:00 - 00:17:21:02
Unknown
And unwinding them to get the connection you want or to get that time back or the mental space that you need to have or just to you just like like you said, not get that carpooled. Like not to get the physical pain in your hand from the scrolling. Like, you just have to use it less. Yeah, it's about balance, isn't it.
00:17:21:02 - 00:17:43:23
Unknown
And finding that balance and, and, and knowing, you know, what type of personalities and conditions might make one more susceptible to becoming addicted to the digital world. And this is why I love this book. And I'm going to in a minute we're going to get to the four quadrants. But on what you just discussed on page 61, I just really love reading this over the holidays.
00:17:43:23 - 00:18:03:18
Unknown
So thank you so much for sharing your book with me. you got the list 61. That was your part. That was that's one of my favorite parts of the. Yes. And so 100 ideas to try instead of scrawling sit by a window and do nothing for 5 minutes. Who knew that was a thing and sing through your favorite album from memory Start to finish.
00:18:03:20 - 00:18:29:17
Unknown
That's my favorite one. I just love these suggestions because they're just long lost, simple, you know, things that we people used to do, you know, like we you know, I was born in 1980 and I thankfully grew up, you know, before the digital world took off, we were playing in the in the back garden with, you know, with out with our mates and then coming back, you know, for dinner.
00:18:29:17 - 00:18:51:14
Unknown
And we were outside and we forget about, you know, what kids are really going through now and reorganize a drawer or shelf, light a candle and sit with it. I mean, some are sometimes doing little things like that can can bring an amazing moment of reflection that can literally change your life. But we just don't have those rituals anymore.
00:18:51:16 - 00:19:17:12
Unknown
Yeah, I'm I'm like, really pleased that you locked into that part of the book. It's like probably my favorite part. It's it it serves a purpose to most of the books out there. Advice that you see around phone says, Put it down and go for a walk. Put it down and pick up a book. Right. But not everybody likes to read.
00:19:17:14 - 00:19:50:24
Unknown
Yeah. Some people live where it's -40 degrees. Yeah. And they don't want to go outside, you know it or it's raining or there's nowhere to go or it's like, I think people need solutions and suggestions that might fit their lives. So the goal here was not to tell people, give people a list of things to do, but to rather get their creative juices flowing so that then and at the same time give them permission to come up with whatever they wanted.
00:19:50:24 - 00:20:28:02
Unknown
That made sense for them totally, because the other one I love is wash dishes by hand and just let it be meditative, like the meditation. Listen to a full album, start to finish. That's a good thing too. my God. Put music on and just stretch slowly. Yeah, Yeah. It was just kind of like, love it. I mean, it's like there's pages and pages of just incredible ideas, repot a plant, explore second hand shop, you know, just things that really, you know, there was one there was the reorganize your photo drawer for.
00:20:28:07 - 00:20:52:10
Unknown
Yes. I think sharpened pencils like if you like color, that's great. Trace your hand and decorate it. Yes. You know. Yes. I got flip a coin and decide what to do next. Yeah, it's just it's just there's like it was just a bit of a poetic nature of it, you know, when you're on the scroll or when, you know, everything is kind of sent to you, it's Yeah.
00:20:52:10 - 00:21:17:02
Unknown
It's just nice to, like, give your brain the opportunity to be creative. Yeah. Yeah. I like that creative unplugging appliance you're not using requires you to think about which ones you might going to do and why. Totally. And create a do nothing corner in your home. Yeah. Yeah. I love. That's one of the things that, you know, maybe the ADHD.
00:21:17:02 - 00:21:40:24
Unknown
So you got to get creative about things so you know and, and, and so I was using this example the other day. You're someone that like you, you love to draw, but you haven't in a long time. You've always wanted to learn how to draw, but you're embarrassed and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you're always on your phone or on your couch.
00:21:41:05 - 00:22:09:23
Unknown
So then you just buy some pencils and put the book that and like a drawing book on the couch, on the table in front of your couch, sit on your phone, sit on your phone as much as you want. But you know what? Maybe, maybe take one minute to draw one thing, just a sketch and then put the book back down and then just go back on your phone and next time you're on the couch, do it again the next day.
00:22:10:00 - 00:22:31:24
Unknown
And then you might find after three or four times, you know, like those drawing boats instead of being one minute long, they're like four or five minute longs. Maybe they're 20 minutes long. You know, after like a month or two, maybe you've got like a book with like 30 drawings in it and you're like, Hey, I've really improved.
00:22:31:24 - 00:23:01:08
Unknown
Like I've now got a skill. Yeah, right. And so you've, you've kind of created an intervention around a habit without having to think too much about it around something you wanted to do. And so those are the very like, like very hyper specific things that we're trying to get people to think about so that they can kind of achieve their goals feels more achievable.
00:23:01:10 - 00:23:22:19
Unknown
And, you know, that inspires me to shift a little bit of a block I have around. If you saw how many books on the shelf next to me, you know, a lot of them are unread. And I think there's a word for that when you're you buy lots of books and you haven't read them yet, but I've just got so many books I want to read and I love books and I've written my own book too.
00:23:22:19 - 00:23:43:04
Unknown
And I just I love books. And what I'm going to do is I'm going to, you know, put a small pile of books of the next ones that I want to read. And instead of it being a big task, like, I wish I had a whole day to read my book, I'm just going to read a few pages and maybe I'll have more time for a chapter and it's going to feel more achievable.
00:23:43:06 - 00:24:08:05
Unknown
Yeah, and put make sure you got some bookmarks too, so you can come back to the ones where it right where you left off. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I love this. All right, well, you know, Eli, this is a resilience podcast, so I'd love to chat to you about what you believe resilience means, but you work specifically with Neurodivergent professionals, and particularly those with ADHD who are in high pressure environments.
00:24:08:07 - 00:24:34:23
Unknown
And I think it's really important here to discuss what resilience means for a neurodivergent brain in a world that's designed to exploit exactly how your brain works. The dopamine hits the constant stimulation and the difficulty with executive function. And for so many of my listeners, whether they're managing chronic illness or health conditions or leading teams while in burnout, the always on digital world can be making us sick.
00:24:35:00 - 00:25:09:03
Unknown
Can you talk about what resilience means when you're neurodivergent and why the traditional advice of just put your phone away or use more willpower fundamentally can miss the point. Okay, so there's a lot in that question. There's a lot going on here I think that I'm going to pick up on. There's a willpower piece because when you just apply more willpower, apply more.
00:25:09:03 - 00:25:42:19
Unknown
Well, it's like kind of a brute force, right? Like just work harder, work harder, work harder. It doesn't necessarily take the individual into account or work with your strengths in the offline Now matrix, which is the core element of the book, we have two questions around motivation and confidence that help identify four types of where you are when you want to change your phone habit journey.
00:25:42:19 - 00:26:21:15
Unknown
So that would be really overwhelmed. Stop. And I'm concerned. We've had hundreds of people take the quiz online and 81% of people that have taken the quiz have been a four or above in motivation and it's a six point scale. So what we're taking away from the data is motivation is not the issue, it's confidence. And so if you want to change your behavior around your device, for most people, they have the motivation.
00:26:21:15 - 00:26:52:05
Unknown
It's not about motivation and it's not about willpower. It's about confidence. Okay. So if you are in the overwhelmed quadrant, which is where 51% of people are, that's the upper left. So that's a yeah, that's high motivation. We can yeah, it's high motivation and low self confidence. The worst thing you can do as a starting place there is to set a really lofty goal.
00:26:52:07 - 00:27:12:05
Unknown
It's like saying I want to start going to the gym. And so my first day at the gym, I'm going to just bench press at my max and squat at my max and be there for 4 hours. You're going to hurt yourself and you're not going to go back, Right? As opposed to just, you know what? I'm just going to go to the gym.
00:27:12:07 - 00:27:31:04
Unknown
For some people, it's so hard to go to the gym. So you might your starting place might be. I'm just going to walk in the building, Right. You know, because I have so high that clients where it's like, I'm just going to sit in the same room as the peloton, then I'm going to get on the bike, but I'm not going to do anything right.
00:27:31:06 - 00:27:57:00
Unknown
But it might be. Then you're like, I'm just going to learn the mechanics before I add weight. And so when you're building confidence, the most important thing is to be successful. Yeah, right. And so when you want to start using your phone less and you're overwhelmed, the most important thing to do is choose an experiment that will work for you in your life that you can guarantee you're going to be successful at.
00:27:57:04 - 00:28:19:03
Unknown
Yeah. Can I turn my ringer off for one minute? Can I put the phone down and go for a walk outside for no more than 5 minutes down to the end of the block and back when I sit at the kitchen table with my device. Okay. It still needs to be on the table. Can I turn it upside down then?
00:28:19:07 - 00:28:40:00
Unknown
You know I can do that for three or four days. Okay. I can turn it upside down and not pick it up for a minute. Can I. Can I move it to a shelf? Can I. Can I turn it off. Right. And it's about. And the more you are successful at these little experiments, the more self-confidence you're going to have to start doing bigger and bigger.
00:28:40:02 - 00:29:08:00
Unknown
Now, the other thing we've learned is time of day is really important. Yeah, people feel like during the week people are most ready or they feel the strongest around 11 a.m. and between like five and 8 p.m., people feel most overwhelmed in the afternoon and late at night. So do not try your experiment. If you're overwhelmed, do not try your experiment in the afternoon zone or late at night.
00:29:08:02 - 00:29:32:04
Unknown
Try when you're strong right in the morning or you know after work because you want to guarantee you're going to be successful. So the the best time of day is 11 a.m. in the morning. Till what time? Well, it's kind of like. So what we're seeing from the data is the mornings mid-morning is when people feel very ready and after work.
00:29:32:04 - 00:29:59:12
Unknown
But like before bed, people feel very ready. People feel very overwhelmed in the afternoon. So let's say 2 to 4 late at night. And they general feeling they generally feel very overwhelmed all day on Friday. Okay. So it's like if you're in if you're like just starting out and you're feeling overwhelmed, you want to build your confidence, kind of like focus after focus your experiments after work.
00:29:59:14 - 00:30:28:03
Unknown
Be gentle yourself in the afternoon and evening and forget about Friday. that's that's great advice. Yeah. And then the other thing worth mentioning is that Sunday is the strongest day. So. So your strategy for the week is basically you sit down Sunday on your own with your partner, with your kids. What are the interventions that we're going to try during the week plan for like around dinner time before bed for the most part, maybe a little bit in the morning.
00:30:28:05 - 00:30:54:24
Unknown
If you're feeling like you're in the ready quadrant where you where you have already some solid confidence, then what you want to do is whatever you're doing that's working, push it 10%. See how you see how that goes for you. And that's what we're finding works. That's where I found I sat in the ready quadrant where motivation is high, the confidence level is high.
00:30:55:01 - 00:31:16:06
Unknown
Yeah. And you know, it's important and you're ready to make bold moves. You might just need to structure a game plan to maximize your momentum. I know it's important and I do feel like I've got the motivation to make it happen. It's just so. Well, you've done it before too, right? Like. Like if you're someone who's like, I've quit smoking, I've started going to the gym, like I know how to change my habits.
00:31:16:06 - 00:31:38:21
Unknown
I've done this before. I know I can do this. I just need a plan and a strategy and structure it, and I'll just do it right. So. So then you kind of whatever's working, you push it 10%. Yeah. And you just you might need some additional strategies on choosing the right place for intervention odds and then maybe a little bit of accountability support.
00:31:38:23 - 00:32:10:17
Unknown
That's great. Really great advice. You've you've essentially answered my two questions. Now, know, I wanted to talk to you about the Matrix and how that works. So what I'm hearing then resilience to you means your ability to be confident. Confidence matters more than willpower. Yes, self-confidence. It's not like puffed up. Yeah, it's not like I'm the greatest. When when you say confidence, it's self-confidence.
00:32:10:17 - 00:32:37:18
Unknown
It's like I can do this. I have the ability to do this. I've proven to myself, I was able to do this. And. And that can also mean I know my limits. Yes, I know what works for me and how to set myself up for success. I know that it's not always going to be easy and sometimes I'm going to fail, but that's just a data point that I'll collect for next time.
00:32:37:20 - 00:33:06:08
Unknown
So kind of resilience. So so those are the pieces that kind of fit into that, let's call it like evolving and learning self-confidence. I love that data collection along the way because, you know, we learn what we do want, we learn what we don't want. And other than know when we learn what we don't want and when it's not working, rather than feeling down about it or defeated, it's just great data collection in this world of polarity that we live in.
00:33:06:11 - 00:33:36:22
Unknown
Anyway, I'm left good and bad, you know, to experience despair is to truly be able to experience joy. Yes. And knowing it's about balance, it's about regulation and you can do this. But yeah, I know my limits as well. And for figuring out what that means to you and coming off constantly being stimulated in the digital world is comparing yourself less to others as well.
00:33:36:24 - 00:34:06:08
Unknown
Yeah, I think that's I think that's quite it's all good summary. I mean I think the I think the other piece would be just that we're all unique. We all have our own, you know, the places we live, the people we live with, the jobs that we do, how we get to our jobs, what we do for fun and our relationships with our devices are also kind of individual and unique.
00:34:06:10 - 00:34:26:24
Unknown
And so what work for someone else might not work for you. And so just take the time to figure out what habits and patterns work with your lifestyle. Some people say, I come home and I'll put my phone on the shelf, or your house might not have a shelf, you know, you know. Yeah, Put mine in the drawer.
00:34:27:04 - 00:34:57:06
Unknown
Yeah. Okay. Right. Like people, I'm just so great to get advice from others, but if you want it to stick, you have to have it work with your life. Yes. What changed the most about your life when you really started to nail this for yourself? My the. So here's the thing that I love. So I love music. I have very curious ears.
00:34:57:08 - 00:35:24:14
Unknown
Yes. And I know that not using the phone first thing in the morning is really important for me to get my day started off. Right. Like if I jump, if I get out of bed in like I'm I'm on the phone before I've, like, had a glass of water. Then all of a sudden, like the switches start to fly that all the news and the dopamine, it just like it hijacks your brain from the first right get go.
00:35:24:16 - 00:35:51:04
Unknown
And the phone was where the music was. I so I bought myself like a very high resolution music player and, and nice pair of headphones. So the so the detail of the sound just kind of ignites my brain. And so when I get up in the morning, you know, when I make myself coffee and I'm up before everyone else is up, I have that on in the kitchen.
00:35:51:04 - 00:36:14:15
Unknown
And that is just really getting my day started in a positive way. And so just yeah, I took historic glee that would have just been, I like listening to music, but now I know that that actually fires up my brain in a particular way that will change the trajectory of tragic trajectory of my whole day. Yeah, Yeah, absolutely.
00:36:14:15 - 00:36:34:12
Unknown
I have very similar rituals of how I well, in the days when I really put some sound meditation on it clears the room, it clears my healing space where I see clients. But music is a huge part of my life. I used to be a singer when I was much younger. yeah, I just love. Yeah, but the healing power of music as well.
00:36:34:14 - 00:37:00:09
Unknown
A certain Spotify chakra track might really suit the energy of the day as I'm, you know, helping clients with kinesiology, but especially in the morning, just that vibration, music and sound can really set up an elevated mindset, a higher the higher frequency emotions that we can be have more access to like love, joy, compassion, forgiveness, resilience rather than lower frequency.
00:37:00:09 - 00:37:34:01
Unknown
Emotions of fear, worry, shame, anger, guilt. I feel music and the vibration really allows us to, you know, see things from that higher perspective and where we're more connected to a higher source and self-belief. And we can have that bird's eye perspective on our day in lives and situations. Beautifully put. Yeah. Thank you. Well, another question which I think, you know, all of this is good and all of this makes sense, but how do we integrate this into our busy lives as professionals?
00:37:34:04 - 00:38:00:15
Unknown
So so your blend, you blend systems of systems, thinking, solution of focus techniques and executive function strategies in in your coaching. And for my listeners who are high achievers CEOs, founders and people even managing chronic conditions while also trying to perform at work, the idea of digital balance can feel impossible. So they need their phones for work and they need to be responsive.
00:38:00:20 - 00:38:26:07
Unknown
They're managing health appointments and medications and teams all from the same device. What are three practical strategies someone could implement this week to start creating healthier boundaries but without sacrificing their productivity or ability to manage their health? And how do we understand that digital balance isn't about doing less? It's about what matters most with more focus and clarity, right?
00:38:26:07 - 00:39:19:22
Unknown
So I think the first thing to say is there is a fallacy that being always on equates with productivity and performance. Yeah, right. Like I'm a strategist, I need to do. I need quiet time to get the strategic work done without distractions, without notifications. And you know, that works for everybody up and down the line, right? Because if you're constantly checking email and switching notifications and all of this and for it, take your brain can't context switch it you can it can't truly multitask So once you accept that as a manager or as a team member, then you can start structuring for it and and you can start working with the people around you to
00:39:19:22 - 00:39:48:11
Unknown
structure that. So determining what's appropriate for you and your own contact. But then setting those expectations with your peers and allowing them to set those expectations with you as well. Now, there might need to be negotiation, of course, but just setting those things up. The second thing. Yeah, so that's that's that's really important. And high performance people need downtime too.
00:39:48:13 - 00:40:20:12
Unknown
Yeah. Right. And so, you know, certainly if you're using your phone after 11 p.m., you're not going to have as good a night's sleep and your next day is not going to be as great. So if you want to invest in your own performance, then you need to create some limit so that you know, or one needs to create some limits so that, you know, they'll have the longevity with the work that they want to do.
00:40:20:14 - 00:41:06:22
Unknown
And then I think also making time for non-work activities, family, hobbies, physical health, these things help keep us balanced. And that's really important because if you're an executive, you need to have perspective and you need to be strong mentally and physically. Yeah. And so carving out the time to make that happen is actually a responsibility and needs to be scheduled in the diary because it's so easy to lose touch with life.
00:41:06:24 - 00:41:39:04
Unknown
You know, it makes sense why we need that. But there's so many things that lead to packed up diaries that are just so full and we make so many excuses of why we needed to work that sixth or seventh day this week. And, you know, I fall into that trap all of the time. But I also absolutely know when I've got full days of reflection and downtime, you know, I'm just so much more inspired and creative and I can come up with much more amazing, innovative solutions.
00:41:39:06 - 00:42:01:07
Unknown
Yeah. With that balance. So it has to be scheduled in. So, you know, even with my podcasting because that's such a different thing that I do as opposed to when I'm one on one with my clients. And then also the strategy around what I'm building in the business with new streams of revenue and new ways to work with people, I stack so if I've got one pass, I'll try and do right multiple ones in the morning.
00:42:01:07 - 00:42:23:07
Unknown
But then I know I really need some downtime in the afternoon because this is a lot of focus and output. yeah. And you know like there's a lot of busy work out there too, right? I mean, there are things that feel urgent but aren't important. Yeah. So you're just spending all this time doing things that feel like, this needs to be done, needs to be done right away.
00:42:23:07 - 00:42:50:23
Unknown
But if it's not important, you're just wasting that energy and Yes, yes. And it can become we can become confused there as to what's not actually important, but it feels like, how do we decipher that? What's The trick there is this there's a two by two matrix called the Eisenhower Matrix. Yeah. Where it's urgency versus important. Yeah. And so you have these four types.
00:42:50:23 - 00:43:15:22
Unknown
There's things that are urgent and important. Do those right away. Then you have the things that you have are urgent and not important. Those are distractions. Then you have things that are not urgent and not important. Forget about those and then you have the things that are not urgent and important. Those are the ones that you need to schedule because they're not on fire.
00:43:15:22 - 00:43:34:15
Unknown
But if you don't pay attention to them, then they slowly become urgent and important. So you got to manage those. I think that also is the Stephen Covey, Time management matrix also. So you could you could look up either of those in Google images. There's is a of them. Yeah I've definitely seen this matrix before now that you say it out loud.
00:43:34:16 - 00:43:49:15
Unknown
Yeah. So you go and you, you kind of just get a piece of paper and you make a two by two urgency importance and you have your to do list on one side and then you just like you just drop everything in and you're like, okay, so here's my plan of what I do today. Everything that's urgency important.
00:43:49:15 - 00:44:11:13
Unknown
And then I'm calendar is everything else. And then you go through the not urgent, you know what I mean? You just prioritize the great thing about that great is from there you can identify what are the three most important task meetings right, Right now. And then what's all the garbage that's wasting my time and filter it out or delegate it, Love it, love it.
00:44:11:15 - 00:44:36:19
Unknown
This is so amazing. And I do also know that on your website you have coaches. Yeah. So what we're trying to do offline now is in addition to a book and a matrix is looking to be the largest directory of therapist, coaches, social workers, kinesiology, dieticians like yourself, anybody that wants to support people as they move towards digital balance.
00:44:36:21 - 00:45:05:13
Unknown
We have over a hundred different areas that our director co-morbid with screen related issues very, very specific. So ADHD and screen related issues, relationships, stress dating, rejection, you know, all kinds of stuff. And so people can go coaches and they can register themselves on the site. Right now we've got a free here for anyone that registers and and then all the clients come directly to them.
00:45:05:15 - 00:45:30:01
Unknown
The purpose here is to give them an opportunity in a gig economy world to get more direct clients. That's the community that we're looking to build. And yeah, any attention you can draw and invite your peers to join the site, we would truly love that. Yeah, absolutely. I'm a proud member of your site as a kinesiology host and thank you for inviting me and let's absolutely spread the word.
00:45:30:07 - 00:45:56:16
Unknown
So where can people find you? What's the your website is offline dot Now that's the URL. I'll find out now. And you can come and you can take the assessment. You can buy the book, you can read lots of blog posts, including yours. Amanda We love to invite members of our community to post and then you can go and look through our directory, our growing directory of therapists and coaches and find someone that sounds interesting and make contact with them equally.
00:45:56:18 - 00:46:17:11
Unknown
If you're a therapist or a coach, you can come and click, join and just register yourself. Beautiful ally. What a wonderful conversation. You've helped so many people. You know, just with what we've chatted about today, I know a lot of people are going to get so much out of it. I know I did. You've inspired me to just make baby steps to overwhelming task that I've just left.
00:46:17:13 - 00:46:36:08
Unknown
For years. I've been wanting to start to read my book Small, and I'm going to start now in tiny little baby steps. Thanks so much for your time. No, it's it's lovely. And I'm really glad you reached out. You are our first international member on the site and our first can be geologists and that we will not be forgetting that.
00:46:36:08 - 00:47:03:01
Unknown
Thank you so much. My absolute pleasure. Thank you, Eli. And everybody, remember that when you've been like been through, you can believe in the power of flexibility and adaptability so you can reimagine what is possible and thank you again, Eli. Take care. Bye now. Thanks for listening to the Bend Like Bamboo podcast. If this conversation resonated, please share it with someone who needs to hear it.
00:47:03:03 - 00:47:27:13
Unknown
And if you're ready to go deeper, whether you're managing chronic symptoms, leading through burnout or seeking guidance and community, I'd love to welcome you into the Bend like Bamboo Family. Don't forget to subscribe and I'm here to support you wherever you are right now. Book a clarity chat with me and let's just talk about what's happening in your body, your work and your life.
00:47:27:15 - 00:47:47:17
Unknown
All the links to join our community and also how to get in touch with our guests in the show notes. Remember, with a flexible mindset, we can adapt, transform our story, and reimagine what's possible. I'll see you next time.