Leadership Sovereignty Podcast: Career Growth and Promotion

On The Leadership Sovereignty Podcast, host Ralph E. Owens II and co-host Terry Baylor sit down with Ja'Quan Lavender — Olympic hopeful, Team USA skeleton athlete, and founder of two youth leadership organizations — to unpack what happens when the pressure to perform becomes too heavy to carry. From the locker room to the office dynamics of corporate America, the pressure to perform follows every professional into every high-stakes moment at work.

Ja'Quan shares what it cost him, what it built in him, and the six-word phrase that redirected a decade-long pursuit toward a purpose that no performance review could touch. This episode is for every career promotion-minded professional who has ever tied their worth to what they produce — and felt that foundation crack. If you are chasing career growth and trying to lead from a place of identity rather than output, this conversation will change how you see both the pressure and the purpose on the other side of it.

 WHO THIS EPISODE IS FOR
- Corporate professionals who feel their worth is tied to their performance metrics
- Leaders who want to build an identity that does not collapse under pressure
- Managers and mentors who want to develop people — not just manage output
- Anyone navigating a high-stakes career moment and questioning whether they are ready

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
- Why performance-based identity is the career trap nobody warns you about — and how to dismantle it
- The visualization protocol that elite athletes use before high-stakes moments — and how to apply it at work
- How to evaluate leaders by character — not just competence — before you commit to following them
- What the gold medal vs. gold crown framework means for every career decision you are facing right now

👤 View Ja'Quan Lavender's guest profile, resources, and contact information

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🧾 Chapters
  • (00:03) - The Pressure to Perform
  • (03:31) - A Life-Changing Moment
  • (05:05) - The Beginning of a Journey
  • (07:06) - Determination and Hard Work
  • (08:19) - Finding Clarity in Chaos
  • (10:07) - The Weight of Expectations
  • (12:06) - The Importance of Proximity
  • (25:00) - Breaking Down Mental Barriers
  • (32:22) - Turning Points and New Directions
  • (39:22) - The Power of Belief
  • (48:38) - A Shift in Purpose
  • (49:10) - Embracing Authenticity


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📄 Full Episode Transcript



Creators and Guests

Guest
Ja'Quan Lavender
Ja'Quan Lavender is a former collegiate and professional athlete turned leadership developer and nonprofit founder. A track and field standout from Steubenville, Ohio, he earned a scholarship to Tiffin University, where he graduated in 2020 with a degree in Sports Marketing and Management. He pursued the 2020 U.S. Olympic Team in track before earning a spot at the Team USA Rookie Camp for Skeleton. After retiring from competition in 2021, Ja'Quan founded the Ja'Quan Lavender Foundation: The Journey to Gold and The Prudent Man Leadership Academy — both dedicated to mentoring and developing young men into confident, purpose-driven leaders.

What is Leadership Sovereignty Podcast: Career Growth and Promotion?

The Leadership Sovereignty Podcast, hosted by Ralph E. Owens II and co-hosted by Terry Baylor, is a career acceleration platform

Leadership isn’t just a skill — it’s a career strategy for professionals seeking growth, influence, and promotion.

Hosted by Ralph Owens, Chief Information Officer, and Terry Baylor, CEO of a healthcare technology startup, the podcast delivers practical, real-world leadership strategies you can apply immediately. Each episode focuses on increasing visibility, navigating corporate dynamics, preparing for promotion, and leading beyond your title.

Expect short, high-impact conversations designed to help you think, act, and position yourself like a senior leader before you’re given the title.

You’re not just an employee. You’re the CEO of your career.

New episodes are released bi-weekly.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Wanted to commit suicide because there was so much pressure. I had a 1.8 GPA, I got hurt, you know, it was just a pressure to perform. Like, if if I didn't perform, my scholarship was being threatened.

Ralph Owens:

If you're a corporate professional carrying the weight of a performance review, a promotion decision, or a role that feels like it's slipping, this episode was made just for you. Our guest, Jaquan Lavender, was a collegiate track athlete who chased the Olympics, made team USA in the skeleton, and nearly lost his life under the exact same pressure you're feeling right now. What he learned in that moment and every moment after is what separates professionals who break from professionals who break through. By the end of this conversation, you'll have a framework for building an identity that does not collapse when the performance stops. Because the pressure is not going away, but the way you carry it could change everything.

Ralph Owens:

Welcome to the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast, the show that helps professionals get promoted, help expand their influence, and lead with confidence. I'm your host, Ralph Owens, Chief Information Officer in the financial services industry, joined by my cohost, Terry Baylor, the CEO of a healthcare tech startup. Together, we've spent decades building teams, transforming organizations, and coaching leaders through the moments that defined their careers. This is Your Competitive Edge. Now let's dive into today's episode.

Ralph Owens:

Welcome to another edition of Leadership Sovereignty Podcast. We are excited to be here with you. Terry, you remote today. Where you at? Where you at in the world?

Terry Baylor:

You know, man, look, it's the world of youth athletic. So I'm at the first tee of Greater Houston, man. So I'm excited today. I have a special place in my heart for athletes. You know, I was listening to something yesterday, and a guy was saying, you know, when you're at a certain level of of the sport that you're in, you automatically know you've put in the time.

Terry Baylor:

So I know, man, today, Jaquan is gonna share so many parallels that have to do with, you know, reaching a high level, reaching for that high level, the level of commitment it takes, the self determination, the self talk, man, just, I wanna get into all of it, so I'm excited.

Ralph Owens:

Awesome, awesome. Well, we are excited to have Jaquan Lavender with us as our guest on the show. Jaquan has an incredible story to tell. We've been excited about this for a while, so we thank you for being on the show. How feeling this morning?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I'm excited I'm excited to tell my story. I appreciate you, mister Owens and mister Baylor, for having me on this podcast today.

Ralph Owens:

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

Ralph Owens:

Well, let's jump into it. Jaquan, most people know you as a track athlete who chased the Olympics, but there's a version of your story that doesn't start on the track. It starts in a quiet apartment late one night. Tell us what happened.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Yeah. That was twenty eighteen, nineteen. I was a senior in college in Tiffin University in Tiffin, Ohio. And I always was a link thinker, so I would just sit up 11:12 at night just thinking. And it just dropped in my spirit, Jaquan Lavender Foundation.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And that's the second note I ever locked in my phone. And I still have that note in my phone to that day. And I was just like, Jaquan Lavender Foundation, but I never questioned it, I just went with it. So as prior to that, I was still in college, you know, getting ready to transition out of college. And I was getting ready to fly out to California.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

It wasn't a rookie team, but it's like a USA camp where you just come and showcase your talent in Carson, California. So as I'm leaving college, the next day I flew straight to California for that. Mhmm. And the backtrack, I seen it on Instagram. And I was like, nah, this don't have nothing to do with track.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

But the next morning I woke up, my close friend Maurice Chapman has sent me that same ad that I seen. He said, bro, I think this would be for you. And I was like, I think it may be for me because how did he see this?

Ralph Owens:

Wow.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So I believe that was confirmation that guy was saying that you need to go out there. So I took the chance. I went out there. I did okay. You know, it was some crazy athletes out there.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

But I did end up breaking a record for the most pull ups that day. Wow. Which was, you know, shocking.

Terry Baylor:

Mhmm.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And then after that, I was like, alright, whatever, You know? It wasn't what I wanted to do. So I I went back home to Ohio, and I began to train from track, from there.

Ralph Owens:

Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. So before the the foundation and the academy and all of that great things, you were a four 100 meter sprinter with Olympic ambitions. You know, walk us back.

Ralph Owens:

Where does Jaquan's story originally began?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So the story began my seventh grade year. You know, I started to run track because I wanted to be the guy that was the three sport athlete, football, basketball, and track, because, you know, you get a certain award for doing three sports. I wasn't the best at all. I probably was the I don't even know. Would consider myself last in the 400 group.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And I ran a certain way that people will laugh at me all the time. People will call me a transformer because I ran with my arms so low that people would just laugh at me. So it was I don't know how my mind just be working different sometimes. It was eighth grade year during basketball practice, I started thinking about track. And I said, you know what?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I will never lose again to 400. And I I made a commitment to myself. My mom had a treadmill in her garage, and I ran a mile every day on that treadmill prior to conditioning into our first track meet. And when I tell you that I I won the race ahead of everyone, but I slowed down because I thought I was so cool. Like, I'm ahead of everybody.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I don't gotta run fast no more. So my coach, he came to us and said, why'd you slow down? And I was like, what you mean? I was ahead of everybody. He said, do not slow down no more.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

You could have ran under a minute today. So from me running a minute and one, I dropped all the way down to fifty seven seconds my eighth grade year. Wow. All all because of me being determined of I'm gonna dedicate this time right after school to get on this treadmill and run a mile. I didn't I didn't see the results, but as I kept doing it, my body got in shape, and I was ready to roll.

Terry Baylor:

I loved it. So so was that before school, after school? How did you you know, what what what was it? Right? You said, look, I'm gonna fit this into my into my routine.

Terry Baylor:

And this is a you're an eighth grader at this time.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Mhmm. No no one told me to do this. No one told me to do this. This was right after directly after school. I would just go downstairs.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I think I would do a little homework maybe, and then go in my mom's garage stretch. It was go time. I was going to war with that treadmill.

Ralph Owens:

I beat that treadmill up.

Terry Baylor:

Love that, man.

Ralph Owens:

That's amazing.

Terry Baylor:

I love it. Oh yeah, that self determination, I love it.

Ralph Owens:

That's amazing. And I think even in the business world, you know, there's sometimes we know that there's some goals that we need to meet, and we have to get in there and we have to grind it out. You know, you gotta get in there and put in your chops. You gotta study, right? You gotta take the time to go to seminars.

Ralph Owens:

You gotta take the time to listen to people speak. You gotta take the time to make relationships. But you know, that work that it takes to get you to the next level is still work, right? Just gotta make a decision that you're gonna embrace it and you're gonna move forward with it. That's fantastic, man.

Ralph Owens:

No, I love that. So going back, you said that God dropped that vision in your spirit. Let's sit there for a moment. What does that kind of clarity feel like, especially at the time, you know, trying to move forward with your career? What was that like for you?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I totally forgot, which is crazy because I was so focused on training for the Olympics. But God always had a certain way of bringing them back. Mrs. Rue, who is a senior Olympic, she won, I think, five or six gold medalists here from Steubenville. And she came to me and my family, she like, I had a dream that you started your own foundation and your name, and you raised a $100,000.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Now Wow. I totally forgot about this. And it clicked like, wow, I forgot that this was a note of mine that I saved a year ago. And God just had to ease his way back in and said, no, you ain't letting this go. Because it's something I need to do through your foundation.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Yeah. And I'm in the heart of training, like me approaching what I need to achieve. Mhmm. And she comes and bring that along. So the foundation end up getting started.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

It took about three to four months to get off the ground approved by the state. And this is during COVID. So we was I mean, there wasn't no business really being activated. But we started a board throughout that time, and we just didn't know what to do with it. So the foundation just sat for a year or two, and then things start rolling once I retire from sports.

Ralph Owens:

Yeah. So so walk us through that that athletic journey, right, that led you up to the foundation.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So of course, high school career, you know, I was good. I was one of the top 400 runners in the state of Ohio at that time. I ran forty nine seven my senior year in the 400. You know, we had some crazy track runners, Shaquille Pedaway. He was on my team.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

He went to WVU for football. I seen him run a ten eight at 220 pounds. Josh Thompson, he went to LSU for hurdles. He was one of the best in the state of Ohio. I had some crazy track some crazy track teammates.

Terry Baylor:

So can we can we just pause right there for one second? What is it like being in the environment of people who are trying to achieve a goal, but they're not just achieving the goal, they are the elite. They are they are shattering or setting what that what that height is. What what does that do to a person, you know, who's in an environment like that? And and and what's the benefit of being in an environment like that?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

It's like, I forget who said it. I heard somebody say track a track world is like a world inside of its own world. Like, once you step on that track, you know it's just time to go out there and just let it all loose and just go to war. You know, as I began to get into my senior year, I had some of the best track teammates and running partners in the nation in The United States. Chad was probably the best in the world at that time.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

He, I'm sure you know Grant Holloway, he runs the one ten hurdles. Him and Grant Holloway tied the national record at the New Balance Nationals two thousand and fourteen. Wow. And that was my training partner. So just imagine how intense me, his brother, and Zach, we all was just battling.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I mean, coach had to pull us back like, hey, hey, hey, y'all going too fast. And we we just lay it all on the line because we wanted it. Yeah. And it and it's that's what got us far in life and we carry these qualities in our life now to be able to say, like, we don't need no one to hold our hand. We just wanted to go out there and do what we had to do.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Love that.

Terry Baylor:

So so what I'm hearing is at a certain point, proximity matters. Gotta be have to be intentional about what's in your sphere of influence.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

We we we wanted this. We I I mean, it was colleges calling me. You know, I went on a visit to Ohio State. The coach was like, I'm gonna offer you if you run-in such and such time. And that pressure got to my head, and I end up tearing my quad my junior year in high school because I was so like, oh, I'm I'm gonna go, I got a chance to go to Ohio State for track.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Mhmm. I didn't. I didn't. But that year was a breakthrough year because I made it to state. So I tore my quad early in the year, but I still made it all the way to state's finals.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

No state semis.

Ralph Owens:

Okay.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

At the line, I'm like, I'm not gonna be able to make it. But I had to get there. I said I'm not gonna be able to make it 150 meters because it was hurting that bad. And I was like, I just gotta get 250 and I'm a just stop. Mhmm.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So I got 250 meters, I limped, I pulled up. It's almost like the I forget the gentleman's name that ran the 400 when his dad came and grabbed him. Mhmm.

Terry Baylor:

I remember that.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So my story is similar to that, but I was by myself. So the guy came up, they came up on a cart and they said that if you lay right here and we take you off the track, you're DQ'd. But if you get up and finish, you can you can do that. So I looked at the man and said, don't touch me. I said, give me time to get up.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So they they stood there and watched me, then I got I limped all the way around the track by myself and the whole crowd just started going crazy and standing ovation. Because I wanted to finish. I wanted to show the coaches that I'm not I'm not gonna just come all the way here not to finish. Like, I gotta finish this race.

Terry Baylor:

I wanna I feel like getting up and shouting right now. Listen. Listen. Listen. You know how how impactful that is?

Terry Baylor:

Yeah. Regardless of where I am right now, regardless of the the the struggle right now, regardless of the setback, it is not enough to make me quit. Right? The race is a giver to the swift.

Ralph Owens:

That's right.

Terry Baylor:

Neither is a giver to the strong. But what did you do? You endured. You got to the end. My gosh, man.

Terry Baylor:

You're blessing me real good right now, bro.

Ralph Owens:

Yes, sir. That is incredible. Like, talk about what is it what did it take for you how deep did you have to dig to to to be able to overcome the pain that you were going through to be able to get around that track in that moment?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I didn't have to. It was already in me. Because I I I've I dealt with so much prior to that. And I was like, that's why I told him, I I brushed it off. I said, don't touch me.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Like, if you touch me, I'm gonna get DQ. That's what said. Don't touch me. Yeah. Like, just give me time because I I've been in this position many times before.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So I I know what it felt like to be down and no one to help you. So once I once I got up, I said, I'm a finish this race. And if it take me two minutes to get to that line, I'm a get it. And then all these coaches came up to me and said, you have no idea what you just showed these college coaches. Coaches.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And a lot of people were, like, just inspired by that moment. Yeah.

Ralph Owens:

Yeah. That's incredible, man. That's incredible.

Terry Baylor:

It is. It is. So here's the thing, and he says some stuff. Right? This is so good.

Terry Baylor:

You can't wait till the trouble to be ready for the trouble. Oh my God. That's so good. The path, the journey is preparing you for the trouble. So don't cry about today.

Terry Baylor:

This is preparing you for something to And you had already predetermined in your mind, I may not make it to the end the way I want to make it to the end. Right? My prescribed way to make it to the end, I may not make it that way. But here's the thing, the way you made it to the end was actually greater. That was much greater than you running and getting second or even getting first because what most people can't see in our day to day, they can't see the heart.

Terry Baylor:

Right? Very few times in life do you get an opportunity for the world to see the heart.

Ralph Owens:

So, Tru, it's some people call it grit. Right? Mhmm. That inner determination to push forward beyond any obstacle that is in your way. You know, Terry and I have been there, Terry and I have been working together for a long time, and we've been in situations where we had bosses who just disappeared on us.

Ralph Owens:

And some people would have just melted down, well, I don't know what to do. We said, No, we gonna figure this out and we gonna push forward irregardless whether that person is here or not. And it worked out for our benefit. And to your point, Teri, I think that built something in us, right? That we've been able, that we're still feeding on today.

Ralph Owens:

Well, you know, meaning that it doesn't matter who's not there for you. The only thing that matters is the decision I'm gonna make right now. Right? Yeah.

Terry Baylor:

Yeah. So how many how often do you go back to that place, man? Have you do you go back to that place and say, you know what? I I've been through that. I did that.

Terry Baylor:

Oh god. How does that fuel you today and and and everything that you're doing with the foundation? And and I can't wait to hear to dig a little bit more into that, you know, so the audience can really understand what the foundation is about and everything. But how often do you go back to that?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

No. I visited quite a few. When I mentor young men, I tell them about my sport career and, you know, all the things that I went through that made me who I am. The qualities that I learned early on in my career that helped me shape like perseverance, integrity. Again, like how we just talked about the story, just learning to get back up even when things get hard.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And I love how you said it because I never thought of it even when I stepped at the line. Said, I may not finish this race. Mhmm. But I knew I knew in my mind that when he said you have an option, the only option was to get back up and keep fighting. So it's it's like it's like David when he was in Ziglar when he came back from war, when he lost everything and he encouraged himself in the Lord.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I didn't need no one to encourage me at that moment because I knew what I needed to do to get up and to finish the race.

Terry Baylor:

You blessing me right now. You're blessing me. It's a

Ralph Owens:

look look,

Terry Baylor:

somebody, listen, somebody, they said it. Look, sometimes there's gonna be some people that's close to you that may say something. And you know what you're gonna have to say? I don't receive that. Got to look, that's not how I see myself.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Yeah. Yeah.

Terry Baylor:

In your case, Jaquan, it was so great because, again, god sent the right person to say, you have an option.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Mhmm. Right?

Terry Baylor:

And you and you grab hold to that. Okay. You know what? I'm my option. That is some good stuff, man.

Terry Baylor:

Yes, sir.

Ralph Owens:

Mhmm. Mhmm. And some other things I really love about that too, this part of your story, is that you said it didn't take much because it was already in you. You had already had a vision of who you were. Right?

Ralph Owens:

And irregardless of anything that happens, I'm still moving forward. We have to have that kind of resolve today. Sometimes jobs will lay you off, businesses that you're trying to start may not go as fast as you want, but that inner resolve, that inner grit that you show, I think is blessed, to Terry's point, is gonna bless so many different people because they're in a moment right now where they need to try to get past this big hurdle you know, that's in front of them. So man, appreciate you really, you know, breaking There that

Ja'Quan Lavender:

was two things my coach always said. Number one, he always said the night before carb reload, which means to eat enough pasta, drink water, hydrate, but he always end the message and visualize success. So he always would challenge me to close my eyes for thirty minutes, run the race over and over and over and over in my head until the point I felt like I won. So when I stepped on the track, I already won the race in my mind. I just had to physically go do it.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So that's why I was very successful in that. That's right. But number two is he always would come to me before the race and say, if you're not ready to step on the track, do not step on the track. He said, we're half stepping today. If you're not going to run that race that you trained for, don't do it.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And then he'll just walk away and say, I see you at the line. So it was up it was up to me to make that decision. That's why I said I already had it in me because the way he would talk to me in training and before the meet. But prior to that race, I didn't visualize success because I was battling, do I really want to step on this track? So I I was I was scared, but I had to face the consequences, which the consequences was I knew I wasn't gonna finish the race.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

But I used courage. As the Bible talks about be strong and be courageous. So I was strong and I was courageous, and that led to that moment.

Ralph Owens:

How about step on the track if you're not ready to run the race?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Not ready to run the race.

Terry Baylor:

That's that's that's that's a life lesson right there, bro. If you are not ready to run the race, don't step on the track.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

It's just like your life's purpose. If you're not ready to run that that purpose, if you're not ready to run that course, just take a back seat. Somebody else gonna do it for you, unfortunately. But if God calling you to it, you just gotta step in it.

Ralph Owens:

That's so good. That's so good. So so so so take us continue to take us through the story. Right? So, you know, so what happens next?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Okay. So after that, I ended up getting a scholarship to Point Park University, Downtown Pittsburgh, which was an NAIA school at that time. Now it's a division two school. I'm very, very, very competitive school now for track. I spent two years there.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

My first year, I was ineligible. I forget what happened, but something happened. I had the red shirt. That was frustrating, but I did get a chance to run unattached. I wasn't running as fast as I thought I was, going through different situations with the coach.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

The coach didn't have no knowledge in sprints. He came from a distance background trying to coach sprints. So you can imagine how that went. Sophomore year, I was eligible to run. I end up breaking a 400 school record, four by four record, and I was one of the best 400 runners in that time in the nation for indoor track.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So as time began to go on, you know, I kept getting hurt. Me and the coach wasn't seeing eye to eye. I wanted to commit suicide because there was so much pressure. I had a 1.8 GPA. I got hurt.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

You know, it was just a pressure to perform. Like, if if I didn't perform, my scholarship was being threatened. You know, if you don't run this time, we're gonna pull that money because you're we came we brought you in here to run fast to represent Point Park University. Wow. So imagine that '19 it's real.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

At 19, 20 years old, you hearing that, you're like, man, I can't go back home to my family because with with his home. So I almost committed suicide. I I went to my room. Luckily, my my, roommate Aaron Barlow was there and his girlfriend. And I said, bro, you got a knife?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

He like, yeah, why? Because I ain't have nothing in my hands. It was just me. I said, I'm about to commit suicide. He said, what?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And that's the hardest I cried prior to this day. Like thirty minutes straight, forty five minutes straight, all because of the pressure to perform. And you you think about everything they put on a man, like you gotta do society puts unrealistic standards on a man that's not real. And that's why a lot of men check out because society say we gotta be this, we can't cry. If you cry, you're a punk.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

You gotta show up, you can't sleep, you gotta you're a performance based you're a performance based person. So it's all that in one at a 20 year old. That was it was tough. Oh, man. That's heavy, man.

Ralph Owens:

That's I

Terry Baylor:

appreciate you. I appreciate you sharing that.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Yeah. It's tough.

Ralph Owens:

Yeah. The pressure to perform. The pressure to perform. Man, I'm guilty of this. So I'm over 50, you know, and I think about everything that I have to do.

Ralph Owens:

And you think about, you know, a young person in college and I'm like, man, you ain't even got a job, gotta worry about, you ain't got a spouse or kids or anything like that, but we don't understand the type of pressure that, you know, these young athletes actually are going through, right? And you know, I love the psychological part that you talk about. Like, I can't go back to my family, you know, go back home and just tell them, you know, I guess you were thinking like that I'm a failure, right? You know, I'd rather not, I mean, to that a little bit. Like, what was what was going through your mind?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Coach end up calling my parents. They came down to campus. And my mom was crying. She like, you don't gotta do this. I was like, dang.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I got my mom crying down here. I was and I was mad at myself because I'm like, this is selfish. My mom is crying. So I was like, I will never make my mom cry again. So when I when I started making vows like that, the only time my mom should cry is unless she happy that I'm doing something.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I'll never hurt That my was a vow that I made. So I started going to church. Every time I went to church, the pastor was like preaching to my situation. I'm like, man, this is crazy. So it just kept me coming back.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Now I already had that foundation because I was going to church at home. I grew up in a church. But when you get to college, it's a little different. I'll just be honest, a woman, you get around a woman, you get around people, your teammates, people are doing things, saying things you shouldn't be doing. So you start to drift away from that.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Mhmm. Mhmm.

Ralph Owens:

And then

Ja'Quan Lavender:

you're an athlete. So Mhmm. You know how that goes? Everybody chasing you.

Ralph Owens:

Right. Yeah. Yeah. So Yeah. Yeah.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

You get distracted. You get distracted. You feel like you're the man and you're not the man. Mhmm. But that's that that

Ralph Owens:

Come on. That's real. Going, dog. That was real. Yeah.

Ralph Owens:

Yeah.

Terry Baylor:

Yeah, and I agree with you. And so that's one of the things that we were sharing a little earlier. I played baseball in college, but not at the level I think that you guys were competing at. Actually, I went to NAI school too. But I think it was a little different to when I was in college to where college sports are now.

Terry Baylor:

And so to the point you were making about the performance anxiety, I got an opportunity to see some of that as my daughter was a D1 athlete. Right? And so I had to learn as a parent. And there is there was a a one gentleman I was following, and he would give some really good advice. He was like, parents, you need to call and check on your kids' mentals.

Terry Baylor:

If you got if you got a college athlete, you need to call and check on their mentals because you just don't understand the pressure. And this is for any parent that's out there. You got a kid who's on some kind of performance based scholarship, even academic. I got a son who's on an academic scholarship. That pressure is there if you're not beating that mark, right, whatever it is, three point o, 3.5, right?

Terry Baylor:

And to think that all of this money that's been afforded you and so, Ralph, we talk about this all the time, it's an exchange of value. Right. Now here's the difference, though. I believe they're treating our young, impressionable, coming into adulthood children as full blown adults. It's almost like a performance review.

Terry Baylor:

Right? It's like salary. Right? But here's the thing. And parents, this is this is my note to you.

Terry Baylor:

You gotta understand, these coaches, I'm not gonna say that they're not I'm not gonna call them bad people or anything like that, but what I'm saying is their livelihood is dependent on 17 to 19 year olds. Right? And that's the truth of it. Now the question is, how are they balancing that? Every human being is different.

Terry Baylor:

Remember Ralph, we were talking about your character and the capacity. Sometimes, man, the capacity to do their job, which is their technical, was high, but the character could be down here. So parents, make sure you're asking character questions. It's not just about that check that your student's gonna be getting. You really dig into that a little bit because to Jaquan's point, man, they it's treated like a job.

Terry Baylor:

It's a job for them, for these young athletes. I It's appreciate you sharing

Ja'Quan Lavender:

like a business once because they don't it's like almost sales. So you know how you go to a car lot, they try to sell you. The coaches are trying to sell you to come to the school. Everything's gonna look good. They gonna lay out the uniforms, pull out the trophies, the rings.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

They gonna do all that. But like you said to the point, a lot of these coaches don't have honorable characters, so they gonna lie in that beginning. And you'll begin to see right through those coaches as time go on, like, you wasn't like this when you was recruiting me. So how come you was like this now? And that's always been them.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

They just put the mask on. And like the term in the seventies, they was jiving their way through. They just they just jived their way on through it.

Terry Baylor:

That's great, man. I appreciate you being candid, because I think this segment here is really gonna help a lot of parents. And actually a lot of athletes, aspiring athletes too. So thank you so much, man, for being candid and and sharing that. And I'm glad that you had a strong enough community, right, when you were in school who could encourage you and say, hey, bro.

Terry Baylor:

No. We love you, man. Here. Let me put my arms around you. You know what I'm saying?

Terry Baylor:

So I'm so glad that God had the right people. And of course he drew you, he knew how to get you back to him. That's the most important part. So, yes sir.

Ralph Owens:

Just wanna go back for a second. So you talked about how your roommate was there. I think that speaks to the importance of making sure, to Terry's point, that proximity, right, making sure that you have good people in your camp. He could have just been like, hey, yeah, man, here, take this and just go ahead and do what you're gonna do. Right?

Ralph Owens:

But he was like, no, man, You're not gonna do that. Mean, speak to that moment, right, how impactful that was for you.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

It's very impactful because at that time, you know, I'm just getting out of practice. I think he did think he did have have a a night because we used to eat our food in a room when we didn't want to eat downstairs in the caf. But he just looked at me crazy like, dude, you don't got no food in. What you asking for a night for? And I don't I don't know.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

If he wasn't there, I don't know if I'd be here to tell you the story or not. I I couldn't tell you that. But my my close, close friend, Theo Washington, he came over. I mean, he I can't I couldn't move. He's hugging me that hard and start crying.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

He sat on the floor and crying with me. He like, man, you don't gotta do this. I need you, bro. I need you. Like, he crying.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

He called his dad. I mean, everybody running to towards me at that moment. But it's like, the coach still didn't understand because I told the coach I was like, don't tell nobody what I went through. He still went back and told people. So it's like, it's gonna be some people that act like they're gonna be there for you, and then you're have something that's truly truly there for you.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

But like you said, Terry, the character, you gotta check the character, because everybody don't have good character.

Ralph Owens:

It's powerful. It's gonna help a lot of people. So let's continue the story. Like, so you you get in the church and you start walking this path. So so what happens then?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So after that, I get back on my feet. You know, I made the decision to transfer out. So we had that exit meeting. During that meeting, you know, coach coach he just well, prior to that meeting, he just bashed me like, you only ran forty nine seconds. How many times?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I said three times. He said, yeah. Exactly. He said, you're not going to the Olympics. You think you're fast, but you're not fast.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

You're not going to run fast. You're delusional. You're you're just just throw me under the bus. So as I am I'm just like, yes, sir. And I was heated, but I had to keep my my my temper together.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So I left. So I told Dan what he said, everyone about what he said. So the Athleta director, he was upset. So he said he called the meeting, they texted me, then I signed my paper. So when I come in, coach I gotta do it so y'all can see it.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

His back was turned like this. So he he's he's not looking at me.

Ralph Owens:

Wow.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So he got his back turned

Terry Baylor:

to He did the godfather on you.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I said, as soon as I walked in, I said, you see what I mean? He said, yes. I see exactly what you mean now. He said, sign your paper and you just be on your way. So he's like throwing a tamper, like he's just saying anything.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So he's coming down the steps hard behind me and I start balling my fist up because I'm a I'm a have to hit this man, because he's coming down so hard behind me. So I turned around and said, coach, what's wrong with you? So he's just pouting going down the steps. And Dean was like, we appreciate all you've done for the school. Thank you for your commitment.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And I hope to have you have, you know, great success moving forward. So I end up leaving packing my bags. I transferred to Tiffin University in Tiffin, Ohio. And then that's that's when the road training began. That's when things got different.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Really? Really?

Ralph Owens:

So tell us tell tell us about that.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So Tiffin, number one's in the middle of nowhere. You know, it's a small country town. So you had no choice but to focus on grades and focus on being a better track athlete. When I came in, coach Gray Horn, who was the third best decathlete in the world, sponsored by Nike, went to University of Florida, got the school record there, he was my coach. But again, I couldn't compete that year because I just transferred in.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And I was on academic probation because I just transferred in with a 1.8 GPA. So I was frustrated about that again. So every Friday, he would have a time trial for me, just me and him. I said, like, man, I can't. I couldn't stand coach because I'm like, coach, please don't wait for the team to get here to start this time trial.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Let me you do it. I didn't want nobody to see me doing this time trial.

Terry Baylor:

Yeah.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So he purposely, I believe he purposely waited this one time for the team to come in. And then I warming up and he said, who believes Jaquon can run a 36.2 in the 300 right now? And everyone on the team raised their hand. Wow. Wow.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

But it was a teacher moment. Every time I look back at this moment, and he said he said, it's on you. And I had to step to the line. He said, you got it. And he said, relax.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And then every time he never started the clock, and he always remind us, it's on you. And then that was our movement to go. So I took a deep breath and I was like, alright, I got it. Then I just got out and just went crazy. I just start pushing hard.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Then he said, you're on track. You're on track. And I'm just running around the curb and everyone's cheering me

Ralph Owens:

on. Wow.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And I I got to the last 100 and Joel Johnson was right there. I don't know how he remember these details. He got he was just standing right there. And he was like, don't slow down. And it I'm like, dang.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I'm slowing down. And I got to the line, and it's the exact time I needed to hit. And I'm like, wow. And I I always thank coach Horn to that moment because it was like a moment where someone finally believed in me that I can do something. So I I felt good.

Ralph Owens:

Dig dig dig into that, man. Because you you said so much in that moment, especially you you didn't want everybody else to see you run. Right?

Terry Baylor:

Mhmm.

Ralph Owens:

You know, because you were doubting yourself. But what does it feel like to have people believe in you more than you believe in yourself, and how that lifts you up?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

It felt good because I was running fast again. Like he he would just talk to me in his office, he gave me a book, and you know, he would just encourage me in his office and just always uplift me. Prior to that, no one did that for me. So I would I had insecurity problems. I didn't know my worth, self identity.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

That's why I didn't want nobody seeing me run because I didn't believe in myself. But somebody finally, actually, 110% believed in me to the point he showed his belief though to those people and said, who believe in Jaquan? I believe in him, but I want y'all to believe with me.

Ralph Owens:

Let let that be a lesson to the people who who are out there who are leading teams. Sometimes you gotta show a person that you believe in them more than they believe in themselves. Right? To get them to go to the next level. Right?

Ralph Owens:

That that is that is monumental. What did that mean for you in the rest of your life, that moment?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I to the point that I still thank him to the to this day, I thank him for that moment because I had to speak at the college in October at a mental health summit. I did a special request. I said, could coach Horn speak with me as well? And I told them that story, because my my topic was purpose life after sports. I was teaching athletes, you know, there's a purpose after sports.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And I talked about that moment. And like, he's about to cry. He's trying his hardest not to cry. Right? I I had to get him in there because I wanted him to know like, that moment changed my life.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Like, you just don't think it did, but I still tell that story just about every month to somebody.

Ralph Owens:

Man, that is that is so good. And that goes to the heart of, you know, the reason why we even doing what we're doing here today. Right? Everybody has the ability to reach and help somebody and just lift them up and to help them believe that they capable of more than what they think that they're capable of. I know that people have done it for me in my life.

Ralph Owens:

Terry, you've talked about people doing it for you in your life. That is what this is all about. That is that is so incredible. So you you you're at you're at this school, this coach, you know, he he's lifting you up. He's got you running fast again.

Ralph Owens:

What happens next?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

He got a new job. He's getting ready to leave. And now I'll never forget our last workout. We was outside. We would do the grass.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

We did grass three hundreds. And it was the last one, and I dedicated that rep to him. So I just I left it all on the field for him. And I I gave him a hug because I didn't want him to leave because I just got there. And I remember going to his office, you know, he's just talking to me like, you remind me about Michael Johnson and Wayne Van Eekert, who's the currently world record holder for the 400.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And he said, I run similar to those two combined. So he I

Terry Baylor:

see that when you're saying the arms low because at yeah. Market that he runs Yeah. Can see that. Yeah.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So he he just noodled how to talk to me. He gave me the book. I still got it. It's called Training Camp. It's about him talking to the athletes in the locker room and just encouraging them.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And it's a it's another book that trained that changed my life. He gave me like, I think a jacket or something, just he just always knew how to talk to me. So a new coach came in and it wasn't the same relationship. You know, Coach Horn was just the genuine guy. Can again, you can see through coaches who's really there for you and who's not.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Can see coaches who's banking on certain athletes and you can see coaches who's really helping all athletes, not just a few that they that's gonna take them to Nationals, and then they get a paycheck. And again, it fills their resume and that they can get hired to another position. Every every time coach Horn went to a different school, he got elevated. He went to Santa Barbara in California, was head coach. He went to Wake Forest.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And he went to Mississippi State, he got hired there. I forget, I think after Mississippi State, came back to Tiffin. Because he was the one, you know, I'm not doubting every other coach, but because of Coach Horn relationship with the athletes, he was able to bring in the school back to back national championships, 2016, 2017. And I just happened to be there when all that was going on. And everyone loved coach Horne.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

No one can say nothing bad about coach Horne because he was that invested into the athletes.

Ralph Owens:

That's that's beautiful, man.

Terry Baylor:

So what I what I what I what I hear is as a leader, the people matter most. How has that kind of leadership impacted your leadership style?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

It matters because you think about Jesus when he was teaching his disciples. You can see that Jesus and his disciples were the first mentors slash mentees you ever seen. Mhmm. So when you look at that, he had compassion for his mentees, for his disciples. Mhmm.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So when you actually study that, you can see who has the love of Christ and who doesn't. So either you're gonna navigate towards the love of Christ or you're not. So when you feel that love, you're like, oh, I I this is what I need. So people get assigned and wanna follow. But again, it's like the snake in the garden.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

You just you just mischief, deceiving people. You're see the snake from a distance. So again, I'm not speaking about no coaches that came through Tiffin, but in general, all the coaches around the world, you see through these coaches.

Ralph Owens:

That's powerful, man.

Terry Baylor:

Leaders, leaders, leaders, look, look, they show empathy and and and compassion for their mentees and the people they're leading. Have to. We have to, right, because at the end of the day, we're all not coming all put together. We're just not. We're just not coming out put together, man.

Terry Baylor:

And sometimes you're put in that person's life to help them get together.

Ralph Owens:

That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. So so you you you're at Tiffin.

Ralph Owens:

I think this is your junior year now. Is that right?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

That's what that was so I didn't go forward. They had me as a sophomore because credits couldn't transfer. That's what it was. So I was a sophomore. So Horn wasn't there my junior year.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Junior senior year, he wasn't there. So junior senior year was rough. You know, up and down again. No. Run fast a little bit, got hurt, then run fast, just up and down.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And then, you know, senior year, that's when I transferred out. Well, I didn't transfer. I left. But I did have one more year, but my focus was the Olympics. And I didn't sign the scholarship.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I remember seeing that email and I said, I'm not going back to Tiffin. I'm a do what I gotta do.

Ralph Owens:

So so what happened then? Mhmm.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So I when I said that earlier, went to Carson, LA. The very next day, travel home, went home, got my stuff, you know, settled in my mom's house, packing my bags, kept some bags packed, we went to LA. I settled in and my dad's close friend, mister Lenny, he picked us up from the airport. And we don't we're we're on the main highway, all these cars, like, lanes. His car decides to break down.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

Wow. Oh, This is so he he turns around because he he talking about welcome to LA. I'm like, nah.

Ralph Owens:

This ain't no welcome to no LA. This ain't no welcome

Ja'Quan Lavender:

to no LA. So we we called an Uber. Uber picked us up on the side of the highway. That was day one. Then day two, I went to the track, you know, stretched out, warmed up, got ready for the next day, and then it was time to compete.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I keep forgetting the actual name, but it was like a a combine. You had to do a 30 meter sprint, 45 meter sprint, squats, pull ups, some other stuff. And of course, I was happy to be there, but which was crazy, they interviewed me and I ended up being on Team USA page for that interview. And they I I would have missed it. A friend that ran track at Pitt University, he said, this is you.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And I he sent it to me and I was like, what? Like, I was so happy, like ecstatic. Cause it's Team USA page, so everyone's seen it. And I'm like, wow, I made the page. So after that, I end up getting into Skeleton, which is a winter sport for the Winter Olympics.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And I end up going to Utah that same year in September or August, August and September. And I went to the combine, I did okay. I didn't do the best, you know, I wasn't really prepared prepared like I should have. I'm glad I went because I was able to see what I needed to do moving forward to prepare. So once I came from that, I was like, okay, I need to gain weight.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I need to hit the weights a little harder, and I need to get faster. So that's when I finally got a strength coach, Trevor Ging, and from mass training, and we just took off. Mean, he had me at one hundred and sixty five pounds. I'm dead lifting six sixty five pounds. Wow.

Ralph Owens:

And I was

Ja'Quan Lavender:

squatting a lot of weight because he he coached he was the strength coach for the Miami Marlins, the MLB team.

Ralph Owens:

Great. Yeah.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So he knew what it took. Like, he said, okay, trust me, it's not gonna be comfortable. But trust me. And he wasn't lying. It wasn't comfortable, but I trust him.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So I mean, the next combine, it was here in Ohio because we had to do it virtual. So I did like a big thing where family friends come down to the track, they see me do the combine. I scored a 100 just about a 100 across the board. And then I had to wait three to four months, got the call, then I made the USA rookie team for Skellington, went back out to Utah, did my training. That was it.

Ralph Owens:

So tell us what comes next. What happened after that?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

After that, no battling. You know, I came back home. I do I want to continue with track because I wasn't getting no faster. And I had just be real with myself. I wasn't getting no faster.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So I went on a fast, you know, during that time. It wasn't no food fast because I'm still learning I was learning about fast still. So I went on a social media fast where I would just fast and just commit myself to God. But when I was fasting, the very last day when I was getting ready for practice, like nine in the morning, I heard God say that you cannot compare a gold medal to a gold crown. And I was like, what?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

And I'm I'm getting ready to go train. You cannot compare a gold medal to a gold crown. Wow. I mean, like I said I quit. I started crying.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I said I quit. I I retired. I said I retired, but my heart wasn't ready to retire. So I kept training for two to three months. But I don't know how God does it, but he took the love out of my heart for track.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I don't even watch track no more. Wow. I don't even care about track. Like he just he did it within that two to three months to the point where I just stopped running. And that that was it.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

That was the last time, you know, because I just came back from Houston when I was training in Katy. Mhmm. And that was the last last trip. Wow. That was 02/2021.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

That was my last trainer trip. Wow.

Ralph Owens:

So so as we end this this this episode, if there's one thing that our listeners can walk away with from your story, one truth about your purpose and identity and calling, what what would you leave them with?

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I would say be yourself. If you noticed throughout every story that I told, I always was being myself. I never faked it to fit in. I never was faking it to be liked by a coach. If the coach didn't like me, that was on them.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

I wasn't going to go to college and be someone that my parents taught me who not to be. My parents always taught me to be yourself, speak up. You got a mouth, people can't understand your mind. If you got something on your mind or heart, speak it. But always do it in a respectful manner.

Ja'Quan Lavender:

So I would say if anything you can be in this world, just always be yourself.

Terry Baylor:

Fantastic. Great message.

Ralph Owens:

Great message. Yeah. That's fantastic. That's fantastic. That's a wrap on this episode of the Leadership Sovereignty Podcast.

Ralph Owens:

If today's conversation added value, I want you to do three things right now. Number one, subscribe so you never miss an episode. Number two, leave a rating and a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It only takes sixty seconds, but it really helps more leaders find the show. And number three, share this episode with someone who's on the rise in their career.

Ralph Owens:

Don't forget to connect with us on LinkedIn and visit leadershipsovereignty.com for show notes and the full episode back catalog. Until the next time, continue to lead boldly, lead with purpose, and walk in sovereignty. Take care.