Hey everyone, welcome to another deep dive. Today we're tackling a really good one. Oh yeah. The Book of Joy. Okay. And diving into it with the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu. Two spiritual giants, this is gonna be good. Yeah, so this book, it actually came about as a birthday gift for Archbishop Tutu's 84th birthday. Wow. Yeah, so can you imagine getting a week of conversations with the Dalai Lama as a present? That's amazing. I know, and those conversations, it became this incredible book, which is all about finding joy in the face of, you know, life's challenge. And that's what's so powerful about it, right? It's not just about, you know, fleeting happiness, but it's about that deep enduring kind of joy. Right, and they would know, right? I mean, both of them have lived through so much. Exactly, exile, oppression, they've been fighting for justice for decades, and they still radiate the sense of joy. It's really inspiring. Yeah, and the book, it doesn't show away from the reality of suffering either. It actually tackles it head on, which I think is what drew me to it. Yeah, for sure. Like for the Dalai Lama being exiled from Tibet for, you know, over 50 years, I can't even fathom that. Right, how do you not become completely weighed down? Exactly. It's incredible. It's unfathomable to me. And that's where the book really digs in, and it explores like three different layers, I think. Okay. You've got the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu's, you know, personal stories, their teaching. They're incredible in themselves. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Drawn from their own life experiences, but then alongside that, they weave in all this cutting edge scientific research. So it's not just like ancient wisdom, it's backed by science too. Exactly, about happiness and what contributes to it. Wow. And then they also incorporate questions from everyday people. Oh, cool. Around the world. So it shows how universal this yearning for joy really is. You know, it's funny, you should say yearning for joy because I was thinking about the Dalai Lama's answer about being exiled, you know, when he was asked about it. And he basically said, home is where you are loved. The people who love you, they are your home. That's beautiful. It's a really powerful quote. It is, and it gets at this idea that they emphasize throughout the book that suffering is inevitable, it's gonna happen, it's part of life. Yeah. But it's our perspective that determines whether that suffering crushes us or whether it becomes a catalyst for growth. So it's not about avoiding suffering altogether, it's about learning to navigate it in a way that allows us to still experience joy.
Exactly. And you know what that leads us to? There are eight pillars of joy. Okay. But before we dive into those, you know that story I mentioned about the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu right before going on stage. Oh, right. You can't just leave me hanging on that one. You said he pretended to? He playfully pretended to choke him. Are you serious? Oh yeah. That's hilarious. Talk about not taking yourself too seriously. I know, right? And it actually connects perfectly to the first pillar they talk about humor. Yeah. But I think we should save that for part two. Oh man, you're killing me. Gotta give you something to look forward to. All right, fine, I'll let you off the hook this time. All right, so you're dying to tell me more about this choking incident. Oh, it's a good one. Trust me.
And it actually connects perfectly with one of the pillars of joy that they talk about. Okay. Humor. Oh yeah. Humor's gonna be huge, right? I can't imagine either of them going a day without laughing.
They see it as like this incredible tool to diffuse tension, connect with people, and just not take yourself too seriously, which is so key. It's like laughter is the best medicine, right? We've all heard that. Exactly.
Yeah, and the book actually mentions this really powerful story about Archbishop Tutu using humor to address the Rwandan genocide. Oh wow. Which is-- Yeah, that's gotta be tough to do. It's incredible. He talks about how humor allowed him to address this really horrific situation without minimizing the pain and suffering, but still finding those moments of levity and connection. I can see how humor used in the right way could be so powerful even in those dark times. Absolutely, yeah. And that actually leads us perfectly into the next pillar, which is perspective. Okay. They talk about how our immediate view of things is also limited. Right. And how shifting our perspective can drastically change our experience. Oh, you know what? That reminds me of the story that they shared in the book about almost crashing on their way to Dharam Salah. Oh yeah. Do you remember that? That's a great example. Yeah. They were annoyed about a flight delay. And that delay probably saved their lives. Oh wow. Because the flight that they were originally supposed to be on ended up almost crashing. Talk about a wake up call. Right. It's all about perspective. Suddenly a little delay doesn't seem so bad, right? Exactly. And then there's also the story about the Dalai Lama
meeting this kind of self important spiritual leader who demanded a higher chair. Oh boy. And how he responded to that. Oh, he just smiled mischievously and then proceeded to imitate him like demanding an even higher chair. Oh, he didn't. It was hilarious. That's amazing. And such a good example of the next pillar, which is humility. Of course being able to laugh at yourself got to be essential for joy. Exactly. It makes you so much more relatable and approachable to others as well. Totally. He wants to be around someone who takes themselves too seriously all the time. Right. So we've got humor, we've got perspective, we've got humility. What's the final pillar of the mind? The final one is acceptance. Okay. And I wanna be clear here. They're not talking about resignation, but they're talking about acknowledging reality as it is. Okay. Which then allows us to work towards positive change. It's kind of like that serenity prayer, right? Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Exactly. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Yes. Speaking of wisdom, how do they even define that? They actually dedicate a whole chapter to wisdom. Oh wow. They define it as this ability to see the bigger picture. Okay. To understand the interconnectedness of all things and to act with compassion and skillful means. That makes sense. And it actually makes me think about that story of the Dalai Lama's advice on like dealing with a difficult neighbor. Yes. Wasn't it something about focusing on what we can control?
Exactly. That's a key part of acceptance. We can't control other people, but we can control our own reactions and responses. Right. And often that's where we find the most freedom and peace. Gosh, this is resonating so much with me already. The powerful stuff. We've covered so much ground with these pillars of the mind. Yeah. But we can't forget about the heart. Right. So what are some of those pillars and how do they relate to cultivating joy? Well, hold onto your hats because this is where it gets really good. Lay it on me, the pillars of heart. Okay, so let's start with forgiveness. This is a big one. And it's often misunderstood. They're not saying condone harmful actions, but they're saying that holding onto anger and resentment, it harms us more than anyone else. It's like that saying, isn't it? Something like holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Exactly. And they tell this incredible story in the book about Richard Moore, who forgave the soldier who accidentally blinded him when he was a child and they ended up becoming good friends. That's incredible. It's a process, right? Right. But it's in that letting go of the resentment that we often find freedom and joy. Yeah, for sure. So what else is there in terms of the heart? Well, gratitude. Okay. This one is so powerful and it's actually backed by a ton of research. The simple act of shifting your focus from what you lack to what you do have can significantly boost your wellbeing. It's so true. It's amazing how easy it is to forget about all the good things. It is. When you're so focused on what you don't have. Yeah, and it reminds me of that anecdote from the book about the man who was freed from prison after 30 years. Oh, yeah. And he said the thing he was most grateful for was feeling the sun on his skin. Oh, wow. That's powerful. It just puts things in perspective, right? Yeah, for sure. What's next? And then there's compassion. Recognizing that interconnectedness we were talking about earlier. Right. When we understand that another person's suffering diminishes us all, it naturally leads to a desire to alleviate that suffering. It's like, be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Exactly. And there's this Tibetan meditation practice called Tonglen. Have you heard of this? I have heard of it, yeah. It's pre-advanced, but it's incredibly powerful. It involves visualizing, taking in the suffering of others with each inhale and sending out compassion and relief with each exhale. Wow. And the Dalai Lama talks about using this practice during the Tibetan protests. It's powerful stuff. Yeah, intense. Yeah. And then last but not least, we have generosity. Okay, generosity, I like it. And this isn't just about giving material things. Right. It's about giving your time, your attention, your kindness, your love. Of course, yeah. And the beautiful thing is, research shows that it actually makes us happier. It's a win-win. It is, and you know, it makes me think about that story in the book, about the woman who took in 100 street children. Oh my gosh, yeah. It just highlights how one act of generosity can inspire countless others. Yeah, it creates like a ripple effect. Exactly. So we've covered all eight pillars. We did it. Four of the mind, four of the heart. Yes. This has been incredible, but I feel like people listening are probably thinking like, okay, that's a lot of information, how do I actually put this into practice? Right, it's like drinking from a fire hose. Yeah, exactly. But that's where the rubber meets the road, right? Yeah. And the good news is the book offers all these practical exercises to cultivate each pillar. Okay, cool. And you know, it's like building any skill consistency is key. It's like hitting the gym for your mind and your heart. Exactly. Even just a few minutes a day can make a world of difference. Totally, what kinds of things are we talking about here? Well, they talk about simple breathing practices for focus and stress relief. They suggest meditation walks, turning an everyday activity into a more mindful experience. Ah, I like that. There's moody to practice, which involves cultivating joy for others successes. And then finally, there's the death meditation. Okay, that one's a little more intense. It's not about dwelling on death, but using it as a reminder of the preciousness of life. Yeah, and when we remember that our time here is limited, it can motivate us to savor each moment. Yeah, absolutely. Well, this has been really eye-opening. I don't know about you, but I feel like I could use a little bit more joy in my life. Me too, always. So this was a good reminder for sure. It's a practice. It's not a destination. Exactly. Well, thank you so much for joining me on this deep dive today. This has been fantastic. Thank you for having me. It's been a joy to be here. And to all of you listening out there, thank you so much for joining us. We'll see you next time.