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In this shiur, Rav Dov Ber Cohen walks through five essential avodot for the days of Elul leading into Rosh Hashanah. Rather than approaching the season with anxiety or self-criticism, he frames it as
The Rabbi Dov Ber Cohen Podcast explores Jewish mindfulness, emotional mastery, relationships, and real inner avodah.
In each shiur, Rabbi Dov Ber shares practical Torah wisdom for navigating anxiety, deepening connection, strengthening emunah, and living with greater presence and purpose.
Rooted in Chassidic depth yet grounded in everyday life, these teachings are experiential, honest, and transformative.
If you’re seeking clarity without pressure, growth without guilt, and spirituality that actually changes how you live - this podcast is for you.
Okay we're continuing our amazing journey towards the highest holiest day of the year in fact some people call them the High Holy Days do you know why we call them the High Holy Days because they're so high and they're so holy and it's amazing and you know what we're doing we're meeting the king we're meeting the king yes and it's a good king it's not King Henry the Eighth off with your head king it's a good it's like David Hamelech imagine meeting David Hamelech if David Hamelech walked in the room right now we'd all fall on our face that's how divinely radiant he was you just couldn't be in his presence so we're going to be standing in front of the king in awe in wonder and amazement and immense joy and I've got a secret the king he's also our dad ooh that's good he's a king he's Avinu Malkeinu he's our father and our king and it's very very very exciting so we said that we started learning this piece from Rav Tzvi Meir Silberberg a very big chassid oh you know what I read something this morning I'll just read it to you it's got nothing to well it's got a little bit to do with the class but I took a photo of it it's amazing in Chazon Ovadia Rav Ovadia Yosef says this התפילות בראש השנה יהיו בשמחה ובטוב לבב the tefillot the prayers on Rosh Hashanah have to be with immense joy and a good heart u-vine'imah kedusha and with a sweet holiness u-mitoch kavana shelemah and you should be very have a very strong intention כי בטוחים אנחנו בישועת הקדוש ברוך הוא שיכתבנו ויחתמנו לחיים טובים because we know that Hashem loves us he's our father he's our king and anyone who's turning up in shul on Rosh Hashanah they can't be that bad the fact that you turned up in shul on Rosh Hashanah means you you can't be that bad you could be doing anything on Rosh Hashanah but you arrived in shul so Hashem's like wow my children even some people only come to shul once a year so the people who go to shul three times a day they're like oh look at this guy he can do anything but he only goes once a year but Hashem's the opposite imagine you've got a kid that you see three times a day that's awesome but then you've got a kid you never see and they just come one day a year how excited you are to see that kid you're like my kid I haven't seen him so long I'm so happy to see you Hashem you've got all the frum people in shul judging that guy who never goes to shul but Hashem's the opposite he's like my child has arrived don't forget you get judged how you judge other people so if you judge that guy then Hashem's going to be like judging you so watch this we're going to be very excited because Hashem's going to write us for good ולא כאותם שמביאים עצמם לידי בכייה בתפילת ראש השנה and don't be like those who start crying during the tefillah in Rosh Hashanah don't be like oh Hashem don't do that this is a coronation day this is the crowning of the king this is a yom tov it's a chag it's a chag you don't want to be all upset you're not really allowed to cry on the chag שהרי ראש השנה יום שמחה הוא Rosh Hashanah is our joyous day so you should be joyful on the joyous day amazing thing so that's what we're leading up to but we said let's work out what is our avodah what's avodah because it can be confusing we said three reasons three reasons that Elul can be a little bit challenging first reason lots of different books say lots of different things so you're not exactly sure what exactly I'm meant to be doing in Elul second thing is that lots of the amazing sefarim life changing awesome sefarim that were written two hundred years ago by very very holy people are a bit too intense for us and it makes us feel bad that I can't faint when Rosh Chodesh Elul is mentioned and it's like whoa and they they okay so he's being very real that to be completely on this very very high spiritual level where you're burning with passion and hislahavus and so I can't get there so I feel bad about myself so that's another problem and the third one was that we're all different we're all just different and we're olam malei you're a whole world in yourself עולם מלא בפני עצמו each person and you've got your worries and your pain and your trauma and that day you woke up and you didn't eat enough and then something happened at your kid's school so you're just a whole world you're a whole complex being you're a whole very complex being So it's very confusing to know what am I actually meant to be doing. So he said we have five general avodot that we should be trying to focus on more in Elul. avodah number one, this is recapping from yesterday, is just have the general mindset that there's special growth energy in the world at this time. But without pressure. Don't be like oh oh, this is our time to grow and if I don't take it I'm going to mess up my world. Don't do that. That's unhealthy. Just be like wow, this is actually the siyata d'shmaya, Hamelech basadeh, the king is in the field, so I should just try to be a little bit more mindful in general Elul. And I think we do, people do get that. People, especially in the Yeshiva world, people are like it's Elul, it's Elul, it's Elul, it's Elul. Unfortunately some people hear that and then get a bit intense about it. Oh oh, it's Elul. Oh. So you're meant to do the opposite, you're meant to be like wow, it's Elul. So he said that some people are motivated by escaping from pain and other people are motivated by tapping into greatness and amazing. So some people work for their exam because they're really afraid to fail their exam. But some people work for their exam because they're really excited to pass their exam. So they both end up working for the exam, one of them is just very unhealthy and stressed and worried and probably doesn't do as well in their exam. And the other person is just much more upbeat and also if they fail the exam, the one who worried about failure is going to be crushed, the one who was excited about passing would be probably, well I'll try again then. Different attitude, positive attitude to life. So when you hear the words, it's an amazing time for growth, you can either feel like oh oh, so I better take it otherwise I'll be in trouble, or you should stay amazing, what an amazing time for growth. Every little thing I do is really special and amazing and important now. So every beracha, one beracha, I'm going to say one beracha with kavana today. That's amazing. So that's the first avodah, just to be in the growth mindset but not the intense neurotic growth mindset, but the excited, see the opportunity mindset, vitality. My Rebbe Bilvavi says that one of the things we're really judged on when you have the Book of Life and Death open is not actually what you're doing, it's how much vitality you get from what you're doing. So not am I saying my berachos or not, but how much vitality you, how much life do I get from saying my berachos. Do I love saying berachos, do I feel like I'm actually having a relationship with Hashem when I say berachos, when I light my Shabbat candles, how much vitality am I getting when I when I whatever I'm doing. Shabbat comes in, am I getting I'm living with vitality. אתם הדבקים בהשם אלוקיכם חיים כולכם היום. Those of us, I include myself sometimes, who are trying to live with actual a relationship with Hashem, that's called a life. I'm alive. I'm alive when I'm thinking about Hashem. That's called true life. So we want to live with vitality. Bais, the second one we spoke about yesterday was tefilla. Tefilla. And we said there are really two types of tefilla. The first type is just personal prayer, just chat, talk to Hashem. Hi Hashem, how you doing? It's me. So there are most people talk about the three types of, the three parts of tefilla. Praise, request and thanks. Praise, request and thanks. We praise Hashem and we request things from Hashem and we thank Hashem. And we always teach that really it's not because Hashem needs praise, Hashem's not egotistical, he doesn't need us to praise him. It's for us to live in a state of wonder. It's like wow life's amazing. And it's for us to feel that it's amazing that I have a relationship with this amazing Hashem being. And it's to bring us to a state of yira, of awe and wonder. So that's why we praise Hashem not because he needs it. Requesting from Hashem is not because Hashem doesn't know what we want and what we need, it's so that we can clarify our values. What am I asking for? Hashem knows what you need. It's not like Hashem you know I need I need to get married and Hashem's like oh wow thanks I didn't know that thank you for reminding me. Hashem doesn't need you to remind him, he knows. It's for you to clarify what do I really want what's important in my life. Thanks as well, Hashem doesn't need thanks. It's not like well you're not grateful to me so I'm not going to. You need to be a grateful person. The more gratitude you have the better your life will be. Very simple. But there's a fourth part of tefilla called sicha, which means just talking to God. So I praise my wife and I request things from my wife and I thank my wife but I also just talk to her. I also say I love you. Is I love you praise, request or thanks? Neither. It's just saying something nice. Good morning, good night, how you doing? Where are you going for Rosh Hashana Hashem? I'm going everywhere child. So just talk to Hashem. So that's how you actually build a relationship with someone, just talk to them all the time and not just Shacharit Mincha v'Arvit. Speak to Hashem, just talk to I'm speaking to Hashem. I have a relationship with Hashem like an invisible friend, not an imaginary friend because Hashem's real, but an invisible friend. I just walk around speaking to Hashem. But then we have the set prayers, I'm not going to give you a whole class about the set prayers. the Siddur is a very, very powerful consciousness tool. The difference between personal prayer and formal prayer, there are two main differences. One difference is personal prayer is just a spontaneous outpouring of my heart and soul, which is very important. Formal prayer is training me in what I should be thinking and what I should be asking for and what is is training my thoughts. One is letting me express my natural self and the other one is training me to reach higher levels of consciousness. That's what it does. So we said Shachris has four, four main parts of Shachris, morning brachos, Pesukei D'Zimra, Shema, and the Amidah, which is going up your consciousness from physical, the morning brachos are all physical, and Pesukei D'Zimra is emotional, and the Shema is intellectual, I'm declaring I believe in Hashem, and the Amidah, the Shemoneh Esrei, is spiritual. So the Siddur is an amazing, amazing consciousness tool, you just have to know how to use it. But in either one of these, personal prayer or Siddur prayer, the word Atah is the most important one. So you feel like I'm actually saying speaking to someone. Baruch Atah Hashem, I'm actually speaking to Hashem who's actually there really literally in front of me. Very important. God bless you. So if Rosh Hashanah, God bless you child, if Rosh Hashanah is all about having a personal relationship with Hashem, speaking to Hashem a lot is really important. So do that. Consciously. That was number one and number two. Number three, we didn't do three yesterday. We're on two. Number three, avodah for this time. And remember, he keeps saying כל אחד על דרגתו. Everyone according to your level. Don't try and be a pure, perfect tzaddik because that's not your level yet. That's my level, you're not there yet. Don't try and be. I'm not there either. So you just gotta be your level. Say like I'm gonna, I'm not gonna, right, I'm gonna say every single one of my brachos with mamash deveikus, and I'm gonna fast every Monday and Thursday and Friday, don't do that. Unless you can, by the way, maybe you can. I can't do that. But on your, everything on your level, be healthy. Gimmel, רצונו יתברך שבמקודשים אלה נשתדל מאוד מאוד לקבוע זמנים מיוחדים להתעסק בחשבון וענייני חשבון הנפש. Very, very important in these days to set aside time, I would say five minutes a day, to do Cheshbon Hanefesh. Cheshbon Hanefesh. Now Cheshbon Hanefesh, which means an accounting of your soul, some people think it means to just go over how bad you are in every way. That's what it means. Cheshbon Hanefesh. I don't daven well enough and I don't learn enough and I don't get up early enough, that's not what Cheshbon Hanefesh is. Cheshbon Hanefesh, which means it's really taking an account like a business person of their business. How's my business going? What do I what's good? What's working? What employees do I have? What resources do I have? What's my budget? And what could I improve? What stock do I need to buy? You know what? I don't have enough of that stock, so I'm gonna buy that stock, and I bought too much of that stock, I don't need this. That's it. So you need to see your life if you want to live a wonderful amazing life as in a way like a business. I'm investing, so you need a Google Spreadsheet, an Excel Spreadsheet. So a Cheshbon Hanefesh always starts, what do you think? Always starts with what I'm doing well. What I'm doing well. It's gotta start with what I'm doing well. So we actually say you should do Cheshbon Hanefesh every night for a few minutes before you go to sleep. Before you go to sleep, last thing you should do before you say Shema, Cheshbon Hanefesh. But it has to start with I'm proud of myself for this. So this is your avodah, I'm giving you a practical avodah now. Tonight before you go to sleep, I want you to write down three things you're proud of yourself for. Now, I'm very, very sadly, that's very difficult for a lot of people. They're like, I'm proud of you for coming to a Torah class to get ready for Rosh Hashanah. That's good. I'm proud of how most of you look. Some of you. Everyone's like, is he talking about me? But I'm already proud of you for two things. So you gotta find a few things you're proud of. Three things you're proud of yourself, three things I did well today, I showed up, whatever it is. You're gonna do it? By the way, you gotta do this. Otherwise you'll burn in hell forever. And then, two things that you feel you could have done a little bit better, not two things that I'm beating myself up for, two things that were bad, two things that I'm gonna get punished for, two things that I'm ashamed of, don't do that. Say two things I'm good, so I don't want to let myself down. Cheshbon hanefesh we hopefully try and do really every night a little bit before Shabbat. So this is a major part of teshuva, he's going to say this, Cheshbon hanefesh. Oh, but he's saying, I like this. He's saying lehaba. In the future. Usually Cheshbon hanefesh is what I did today or what I did this year, and he's in line with what I've been saying in Elul, you've got to say what would I like to achieve and do and improve in the future going forward. So what are my goals? I have a few goals for this year. Not crazy goals. A few goals: physical goals, emotional, mental, spiritual goals. What would I like to see? What do I like to achieve this year? Hainu lehishtadel - he writes it in Yiddish but they wrote it down here - להעמיד את השנה החדשה. This is three? This is number three, Cheshbon hanefesh. Cheshbon hanefesh. But there are two types of Cheshbon hanefesh. One is going over your day or what you've done. But he's saying also going forward. I'd like to, this is what I'd like to improve. This is what I'm trying to commit to. Very, very important also when you commit to doing something, you've got to be realistic. So for example, part of teshuva, the Rambam says teshuva has four main steps: stop doing whatever it is, admit doing whatever it is, feel remorse for doing whatever it is, and then commit to not doing whatever it is anymore. Stop it, admit it, regret it, commit to not doing it. Which is an amazing thing. Now if you do that, if you actually do that, then you did teshuva. People are always go, you know, did I do teshuva, I don't know. If you did those four things, you did teshuva. However, what about this? Anger. Can you commit to not getting angry ever again? You can't do that. So people are like, my teshuva isn't really acceptable because I know I'm going to get angry again. So my teshuva on my anger just is, is deceitful, it's... So sages say you don't have to commit to never getting angry again, you have to commit to honestly working on trying to not get angry again. That you can do. You can commit, I'm going to really take anger management classes and I'm going to work it out. And there's one major, major key to anger. There's one, the, the cure to all anger. What is it? To the extent you're... I was once told that holding a baby. I once heard that holding a baby is a way to get rid of anger. Oh, I don't know about that. If I was holding a baby when I'm angry, I'm going to throw it on the floor! Bam! No. I once heard that, I think it's true for me at least. It's got to be a strong baby, if not I'm going to crush that thing and like, oh, strong baby. Maybe you can try that, I'm not sure. The answer I was going to say is emunah, although I like holding a baby, maybe. But it's usually often holding the baby is what's making you angry in the first place, go, and shut up! What do you do when you're angry because you're holding the baby at two o'clock in the morning? Hold another baby? But then it's a nightmare here, you're holding babies all day. So the answer is emunah. emunah and anger are opposites. The more emunah you have, the less anger. How do you measure your emunah? Very, very simple measure of emunah is anger. Very simple. If you get angry often, that means your emunah isn't so strong. Maybe your emunah, your bitachon isn't so strong. emunah is a general idea that everything's for the best, bitachon is I'm living with that idea. Someone with bitachon doesn't get angry, just can't get angry. Doesn't get anxious, either. Actually, doesn't have any bad character traits. The key to everything is bitachon, then you wouldn't have any bad character traits, you'd never be jealous, you wouldn't be greedy, you wouldn't have low self-esteem, you wouldn't have arrogance, you wouldn't have fear, you wouldn't have doubt, regret, you wouldn't have any bad character trait if you just had actual, real, palpable, integrated bitachon. I know that there's a God here right now. Rosh Hashanah is the key. Rosh Hashanah's in eleven days, it's so good. Oi, if it could be a Rosh Hashanah, if it, I always think it should be three days, no? Or four. I imagine to just keep going. Rosh Hashanah. So here we go. שעבודה של השנה החדשה הבאה. שהעבודה של השנה החדשה הבאה עלינו לטובה יהיה במצב של התעלות לגבי השנה העברה. To just make sure that next year is a bit better than the year before. Once again, a little bit better. Don't make your gap too big. I was here this year and I need to be perfect next year. No. I was here this year and I'm going to be a little bit better next time. That's it. Little steps. Moving, yes. Baruch Hashem. Like last year I used to have a group of people come to my house and we used to work on trying to stay off, you know, social media, phones, that kind of thing. I've taken a big dive. I'm much less than I was last year. Okay, so life has falls. I haven't got better at anything, I've gotten much worse. Do you know what's amazing that you haven't got better, you've got much worse? You can get better now. No, but I can't get at the level I was a year ago. You could, maybe in two years from now. The fact that you were there a year ago means you can get there. I think the attitude I can't get to the level is probably not the most helpful one for helping you get to the level. No, but I had a group and now I don't. Okay, so get a new group. I do want to get a group but I was holding at a better place than I am holding Rosh Hashanah. So don't worry, you just say I am now committed to try and start working towards being better and maybe within two or three years you can get back to where you were then. I believe in you. Hashem believes in you, you can do it. But if you go into it saying I can't, then you can't. Go in and say it will be hard but I think I could get there. But you're saying though, you're supposed to try and get higher than you were last year. But good, so you can. I'm not saying you, be better next year than you are now. Okay, that's what I mean. Now today, you're in a certain place, try and be better next year than you are now, not better than when you were when you were at your ultimate best having not gone through all the difficult things that you've gone through. How about a bit of self-compassion? Very, very important in your avodah, self-compassion. Often when you beat yourself up, it's actually you're going through really hard times and you need to be compassionate with yourself. אבינו שבשמים נותן כוחות גדולות לכל אחד ואחד להתעלות בכל שנה ושנה יותר ויותר בכל העניינים. So Hashem gives us, if you let Hashem, if you let Hashem and say Hashem help me, I want you to help me, I just want to be a bit better than I was last year. So we believe that there's something called siata dishmaya, but you have to be open to receiving siata dishmaya. So if you say I can't, then you're cutting Hashem out the picture because Hashem could do anything. Within the next two months you could be higher than you were last year. Who knows? Hashem could do anything. What do you, so let Hashem in the picture, anything could happen. Yes. So we said it yesterday or the day before that there's lots of shefa coming down into the world. There's lots of divine siata dishmaya, you just have to be open to receiving it. If you don't become a vessel to receive it then you can't. Hashem wants to give you everything. But if you say for example I can't or I don't deserve, people say that as well. I don't deserve it. Then you can't get it if you feel you don't deserve it. So of course you deserve it as long as you're trying and you're opening your heart and you're trying to be a better person. You really got to remember all you need to do is be moving in the right direction. Really. Are you moving in the right direction? And you'll fall sometimes as well. Are you moving in the right direction then sometimes falling but getting up and moving in the right direction? That's really what's that's what life is. Just keep moving in the right direction. That's good. That is good enough. That will get you where you need to go. עבודת תשובה נחלק להרבה חלקים. Doing teshuva is split up into many different types of teshuva. וחלק גדול מעבודת התשובה היא להבא. Lots of teshuva, people think when you hear the word teshuva you immediately think the past. I've got to fix the past. But he says no, very big part of teshuva is the forward, going forward. That's what we've been doing in my classes in Elul is how am I going to be different, how am I going to be better, how am I actually going to put the past behind me, how am I not going to let the past define me, how am I going to recreate myself. This is what the whole of Rosh Hashanah is, to recreate yourself. Hashem created the universe and then created Adam. When he created Adam, we said in our first class he says Na'aseh Adam. The Torah says Na'aseh Adam, let us make man, and there are different commentaries, some people say he's talking to angels, but the Baal Shem Tov says he's talking to us. Hashem says let us make you. We're a partnership. So I'm going to give you all the raw materials which is your good character traits and your bad character traits and your childhood and your opportunities and your privileges. I'm going to give you everything. With all the stuff I give you, with my help, you've now got to create, you've got to become a *tzaddik*. *Naaseh Adam*. *Naaseh Adam*. אם אין אני לי מי לי. If I'm not going to create myself and I'm going to blame everyone else and I'm going to be a victim and say I can't do this, I don't deserve it, then how am I ever going to become great? *Naaseh Adam*. Create yourself with Hashem's help. Yes. So when Hashem said... well, Hashem just cannot stop thinking about us. Is 'create yourself' part of three or is it number four? No, number three still. Okay. Read that's what he's saying, 'create who do I want to be?' Many, many people think 'what do I want to have? What do I want to get? What do I want to achieve?' But the main question is 'who do I want to be?' Because Judaism defines you by not by what you're doing, it's by who you're being. That says a lot about you, who you're being. Not what you're doing, not what you have, not what you look like. Who are you being? Are you being present? Are you being present? Just present and kind with yourself and with other people. So you have to ask yourself, 'who do I want to be?' Many people say to me that like, 'Rebbe, I'm trying to work out who I am.' And I say, 'you don't need to work out who you are, you need to work out who you want to be and become that.' And then maybe to get there you need to work out a bit who you are, but who you are isn't really who you are. You know, your negative character traits, that's not who you are, those are things that you have to overcome in order to become great. So the whole of life is about becoming, becoming, becoming. Rav Kook calls it *hishtalmus*. Hashem is *shlemus*, *shlemut*, Hashem is *shlemut*, Hashem is perfect and we are *hishtalmus*, which means becoming perfect. We're becoming perfect. And I tell you this is a very, very deep mind-blowing awesome teaching that is in other places. He just says it very clearly: so to speak, Hashem lacked, so to speak, obviously Hashem doesn't lack, but He lacked the ability to grow, because He's perfect. And He lacked the ability to choose good. Hashem can't choose good because He can't choose evil, which actually means that Hashem doesn't have free will. Isn't that cool? Free will is the ability to choose good over evil. Hashem can't choose evil, Hashem doesn't have free will. Amazing idea. Right. So in our human concept, there are two very, very important things, which are growth and choosing good, which are together, by the way. You grow by choosing good. So Hashem was, so to speak, lacking these two things. And the Zohar says that Hashem can't lack anything. Hashem can't lack anything, including lack. He can't lack lack. It's an amazing idea, a very deep idea. You'd have to get a bit drunk to understand it, but it's a very deep idea. So Hashem can't even lack lack, otherwise He's lacking, and He can't lack lack, so He's lacking. But how did He fill the lack within Himself? He had to create a being that could choose good over evil and could grow, which is us. So when we say we're a *chelek Eloka mima'al*, we're a piece of God. What piece of God are we? We're the piece of God that has free will and can choose and grow. So we complete God. It's like one of those Hollywood films: 'You complete me.' That's what Hashem says to us. He's like 'you complete me' and we're like 'thanks, Hashem'. So Hashem's like 'guys, just be your part, play your part in creation, you got to play your part'. So we complete, we fill Hashem's lacking. Isn't it beautiful? Yes. And Hashem gives us our lackings. בורא נפשות רבות וחסרונן. We say it so often. You created many, many souls and their lackings. You created lackings within us, Hashem. Why did we have to have lackings? Because we're a *chelek* of Hashem, and if Hashem's lacking, we're lacking, and it creates relationship. There's no relationship if there's not lacking. If there's got to be a bit of lacking that I can fill for you—not too much, by the way. Most people get into relationships because they're so lacking they need someone to fill all their physical and emotional needs. That's unhealthy. You got to be basically okay, but then need just 'you complete me'. Just the little 'you complete me', not 'you completely build me and make me'. That's not romantic. 'You completely give me all my sense of self'. Don't do that. But 'you complete me', that's the good thing. That's why my wife often says to me, she's like 'I need you to need things' because I'm very Buddhist, so I'm like 'I don't need anything'. She's like 'what do you need for dinner?' I'm like 'whatever you put'. She's like 'no, tell me!' I'm like 'fish and vegetables'. She's like 'thank you!' Because she wants to give. My wife wants to give to me. So now I pretend that I have needs so that she can give to me for her sake, not for mine because I don't... but she needs me to need her, so I... yes, please. Don't you ever look at... So for us, we, you look at an elephant and you're like, that's normal. That's just a thing. But if you have child-like eyes, Godly eyes, you're like, what is that thing? And that's what children do. They, you take them to the zoo, they're like, they can't believe it. They're like, they can't believe it and we're just like, elephant. Elephant. And it's not even moving, it's boring. Elephant. So you got, we gotta get back to this, like every time you see a cat, anything, you just be like, whoa! What is that thing? And so what Rabbi Nachman says, Likutey Moharan 17, he says this is what tzaddikim do. They see ratzon Hashem in everything. Hashem wanted an elephant to have big ears. He wanted that, otherwise it wouldn't have big ears. The fact that an elephant has big ears is a giluy of ratzon Hashem. The fact that a giraffe has a long neck... Have you ever seen a grown giraffe with a very short neck? It'd be like, weird, wouldn't it? But Hashem could have made them with a very short neck. So the fact that giraffes have long necks means that Hashem wanted giraffes to have long necks. It's amazing. So you just, so now you just start looking around the world and you're like, wow, ratzon Hashem, ratzon Hashem. And then you look at yourself in the mirror. No, God forbid. You don't look at yourself in the mirror because you can't see yourself in the mirror. You look at your face in the mirror and you're like, Hashem for some unknown reason wanted my face to look like this. And you can be like, why? Why did I deserve to be so good looking? Every day I look in the mirror, I'm like, what did I do to deserve to look like this, Hashem? You could have just made me all... But it's just unbelievable, really. But it's so positive, there's also murder in the world, there's also things that... Hashem didn't do that. No, he didn't. Hashem didn't create murder. Hashem created free will. God forbid Hashem created murder. He created the possibility for murder. He didn't create murder. All of the suffering in the world, 90 percent of the suffering in the world, not God. Not God. Don't blame God. Don't blame God for global warming. Don't blame God for for abuse. Don't blame God for even most sickness in the world, don't blame God. It's because you're not eating properly and you're smoking and stuff. Don't blame God. So if you smoke fifty cigarettes a day and then you get a disease, don't blame God for that. You, you did that. God's cool. God's cool. God loves you. So God's obsessed with you. God can't stop thinking about you. Right now, if Hashem stopped thinking about you, you'd disappear right now. I'd love to disappear at that point. So Hashem's obsessed. Can't stop thinking about you. So you have to start thinking about Hashem. How much do you think about Hashem? What about dangerous animals? Stay away from them. No, I mean, why did... He did. But not that many people die from dangerous... I guess some do. But were they dangerous before Adam and Eve? No, there you go. Animals only became dangerous after the sin. Baruch Hashem, but yes, stay away from them. Okay, וזה עיקר עבודת התשובה. One of the main parts of teshuva is looking forward. When you hear the word teshuva, you immediately look back. He's saying no, part of teshuva is I want to now live more in line with myself, I want to think better, I want to speak better, I want to act better, I want to... How am I going to be? What's my year going to look like? Be'ezrat Hashem. I'm planning my year. What do I want my year to look like? It's an amazing thing to do. Three minutes a day you can do this, one minute a day, just a little bit, tap back into what I'm really... Do I want my year to be a little bit more spiritually conscious? Yes. Okay, so maybe Subway Surfers isn't helping with that. So maybe I'm only going to spend three hours a day playing games on my phone instead of eight. And then those other five hours I can meditate and feed orphans. That would be a good idea. Just live a bit more in line with your values, a little bit. ובפרט בזמננו כיון שבימי הקודש האלו אבינו שבשמים משפיע לנו השפעה נפלאה של תשובה. He keeps going back to this point that there's, there's an immense powerful energy of teshuva in the world at the moment. And you just have to tap into it. He says by Pesach there's a... the energy of freedom in the world and by Hanukkah there's the energy of light in the world, so there's now in creation Hashem is just pouring down buckets of teshuva energy. We just got to be open to receiving that. Open to receiving. ימים ונהרות של תשובה ותיקון there are seas and rivers of teshuva and tikun and fixing. Fixing. Something about fixing. You're here to fix. We're fixers. You gotta fix, we're fixing. But people get very heavy because they focus on the brokenness. I'm broken. But a healthy human being doesn't focus on the brokenness, they focus on the possibility of fixing. If it's not broken you can't fix it and we want to fix things. You're a mechanic in your life. I want to fix, I'm here to fix. This is called the Olam HaTikun. This is called the world of fixing. So let's start fixing. Let's go around fixing stuff. tikun וממילא מסוגל מאוד מאוד לחפש ולמצוא אופנים ודרכים איך להתעלות להבא. And therefore if we tap into this energy, just we're aware of this energy and we get excited about the energy and it's not heavy, then we get siyatta d'ishmaya and we find ways to tap in and then you find a group of people who want to do that with you and you find, b'ezrat Hashem, you're going to make a group of no social media after nine o'clock on Tuesdays group. Do that. Just find other people who are doing it. Make it happen. Do something. Once again, they're not New Year's resolutions. What's the difference between the actions that we're doing and just New Year's resolutions on the first of January? The main difference is we're doing it with a specific goal in mind of having a relationship with Hashem. Whereas your general person on January the first, they say I'm going to stop smoking just because it's bad for me, or I'm going to go to the gym because I want to lose weight. Which is fair, that's nice. But it's just lifestyle changes. There's no internal change. Our kavana behind our lifestyle changes is so I have a closer relationship with Hashem. I'm more manifesting my soul. And then it becomes much more real, it becomes I'm now a transformed human being. I'm a person who does, I just, I'm a person who doesn't speak lashon hara. Not I'm a person who wants to speak lashon hara but I'm holding back because I know it's wrong. That's just the first step, don't speak lashon hara. But you actually want to become a person who, why would I ever speak lashon hara? It's disgusting to me, it's so low, I don't want. So you're transforming your inner world rather than just your external things you're doing. If there's no inner transformation, it's not called real teshuva, it's just called I stopped doing bad things. It's not real teshuva. Did you come closer to God? Did you come closer to God by stopping smoking or getting up early or going to the gym or saying more Tehillim? Did you actually come closer to Hashem? Not if you didn't have a kavana to come closer to Hashem. Every day, by the way, when you do a mitzvah, before you do a mitzvah, if you don't stop and say I am now doing this mitzvah in order to come closer to Hashem, then you probably won't come closer to Hashem through doing the mitzvah. You will a little bit because you did the mitzvah. But you have to have the kavana, my intention behind what I'm doing is in order to create relationship, not in order to fulfill my obligation. I'm doing this in order to fulfill my obligation. That means you, that doesn't necessarily lead you to a relationship with Hashem. Yes. Why is the goal to create a relationship with Hashem? Sorry, that's it. It's a very big question. Very brief answer is that before the universe was created there was just Hashem. And then Hashem created the universe. Which means there was an other. Which means that there was a opportunity for relationship. So the whole creation of the universe is, saying is, relationship. And Hashem says that, and the Mesillat Yesharim says that the whole purpose of the creation of relationship was because a relationship, A, helps you complete yourself, as we just saw Rav Kook says, we kind of complete Hashem, even. But it means you get to experience the highest spiritual level of leheitiv, he did it to give to us, and really the Mesillat Yesharim says ultimately it's all about experiencing the pleasure of. If you notice, everything you ever do is because you're driven by pleasure. You're a pleasure-seeking machine. What you eat, what you wear, where you go on vacation, everything you do is to seek pleasure or escape pain, which is the same thing. Everything you do, you do because I need to do it because if I don't do it I'll be in pain. Or I want to do it because I'll get pleasure from it. So you're created pleasure and there's no greater pleasure than oneness. at-oneness, at-onement, atonement means at-oneness, becoming one again with yourself and Hashem. Why did Hashem create it like that? I don't know, I'll ask him on Rosh Hashanah. Mussar, teshuva, ימי הקודש האלו. Fine. Okay we're going to try and do number four quickly because we don't have so much time. Number four. So number one is a general attitude of this is a wonderful opportunity to grow. No pressure. Number two, a little bit more consciousness in your tefillah. Is my tefillah actually bringing me closer to Hashem? Number three, cheshbon hanefesh. Cheshbon hanefesh, who do I want to be? What sort of life do I—no pressure again—but what sort of life do I want to live? What do I want to be bringing into the world? No pressure. Number four. וביותר יש לדאוג שבימי הקודש האלו נשתדל מאוד לקבוע זמנים קבועים בכל יום ויותר מכל ימות השנה ללמוד דברי Chazal הקדושים ספרי צדיקי הדורות שמורים ומדריכים ומהלהיקים לכל מה ששייך לעבודת התשובה. Thank you so much. That means you should be taking at least two or three minutes a day to learn, specifically sefarim like this which actually excite you, which are uplifting you. So for some people that might be mussar. I'm learning mussar but you go—we spoke yesterday—you've got to be very, very careful when you learn mussar, because if you're not a healthy person you can feel crushed by mussar, but I personally love learning mussar. Or Chassidus, Pnimius, Kav something. You've got to be learning, learning, because the more you understand, the more pnimius, the more depth there is, the more you're going to get out of it. So if you just go into Rosh Hashanah without really understanding what it's all about and you're just like there's just so many words to say and then we're going to have a meal, then you're not going to get so much out of it. So just learn. Also important, your machzor should come out today. Today. Not on Erev Rosh Hashanah and you dust it off and you're like... bring it out today and start learning it, reading it, underlining things, so that now when you walk... because your machzor is really your guide book. It's your guide book to the whole day. So you want to know it. You want to love your machzor. You want to understand what it's saying and once again, the goal is not to say every single word. Every single word. The Shulchan Aruch itself says: rather say less and mean it, than more and not mean it. But you should at least know what you're saying and why you're saying it and to whom you're saying it. So that it's arousing you to ahavat Hashem, love of Hashem, to yirat Hashem, to awe, cheshbon hanefesh, לשלוס בכל פרטי עבודת Hashem. So basically any books that are going to actually enlighten... there are loads of books. Go to a bookshop, there's loads of amazing books. My Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits, an amazing book Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur. It's his... he didn't write it, people took his shiurim. Try and find it. Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits on Rosh Hashanah Yom Kippur, amazing book. So you want to start reading, you want to start learning, getting excited. The more you know, the more you understand, the more meaningful it becomes. The more meaningful it is, the more excited you are. The more excited you are, the more you get out of it. Just just like that. The more you know, the more you get out of it. וברצון אבינו שבשמיים שנזכה שכל אחד הוא עולם מלא בפני עצמו ממש וכל אחד מסייע ומחזק את חברים אחרים. And once again he's saying everyone's an individual, so what gets me excited might not get you excited. So you've got to find what works for me, work out what works for me. וברצון אבינו שבשמיים שכל אחד יקח את הספרים שהוא רואה שמורים אותו ומחזקים אותו. You have to take the books that give you vitality and they're awakening you, \"very excited, I want to read this book.\" And you also have to have the kavana when you're reading the book that it's changing you and transforming you and bringing your relationship with Hashem. Otherwise some people just want to go through a book. \"I want to go through this book this year,\" but you go through the book and it's like it didn't change me as a person, I just went through the book. So you don't want to just go through a book, you want to use the book to create the relationship. וכך היה הסדר בכל הדורות. כי ידוע שבימי הקודש האלו למדו הרבה בדברי התעוררות. So this particularly time of year is very important for you to learn. Good. In English, just get good books. Living Inspired, Rabbi Tatz. Anything by Rabbi David Aaron. The Enlightened Jewish Master by Rabbi David Cohen. On the Right Path, in the Right Way, coming out tomorrow. But find what you like. So good. Number... we'll do number... Number five next time. Number one, general growth mindset, excited growth mindset. Number two was... *tefilla*? Thank you, was *tefilla*. Number three was *cheshbon hanefesh*. And number four was read exciting, uplifting, amazing things. About learning. Yes. So I actually, I remember hearing something about how like, some people believe women aren't supposed to learn Gemara. And I remember hearing this was specifically if a woman is like, not religious and you're trying to teach her Gemara, but if a woman is already religious and wants to learn and it's