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What if you’re not lost, just living in a part of the story no one talks about? Holding Patterns is a podcast about the in-between. The messy, undefined seasons of life where nothing quite makes sense. Hosted by Ashton Arnold, a deeply curious traveler who is carving out a life beyond the conventional path. Ashton leads guests through the kind of conversations that get honest, intimate, and are rooted in what it actually means to be human. This show is for people who’ve felt unsure, off-course, or like they’re making it up as they go. Each episode features a conversation with someone who has built a life outside the typical script, unpacking the moments where success felt out of reach. From travel and relationships to money and mental health, nothing’s off-limits. Holding Patterns is here to remind you that you’re not behind, you’re not alone, and you’re allowed to figure it out your own way.
Regan & Ashton Final
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Welcome to Holding Patterns
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[00:00:00]
Hi, I'm Ashton, and this is Holding Patterns. This is a podcast about the in-between moments of life, the ones where everything feels a little bit uncertain. I've spent the last couple years moving abroad, starting over, and honestly, living in the in-between more often than not. But through all of my own experiences, I've realized quickly that these moments aren't meaningless.
They actually impact a whole lot of who we are. So this is a place to talk about them and to talk to people who've lived through it, too.
Ashton:
Meet Reagan
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Ashton: Hello everybody and welcome to another [00:01:00] episode of Holding Patterns. Today I am going to talk with an interview my friend Reagan. Reagan. And I met last year in this new job in other episodes. two are guiding together and
we went through a very turbulent learning curve together last year. So really bonded us. But, I'm really excited for everybody to get to hear her story and different routes that she's taken. So thanks for coming on Reagan.
Regan Fox: Thanks for having me. I'm excited too.
Ashton: where we will start is if you want to just introduce yourself,
Regan Fox: Yeah. Yeah.
Growing Up in Florida
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Regan Fox: I'm from Jacksonville, Florida originally. I grew up with an older brother. He's six years older than me. Had a pretty good childhood. was involved in all sorts of activities, was super into dance, super into lacrosse and high school, very into academics.
And doing well in school was kind of, what I was involved [00:02:00] in, what I was up to. A lot of it revolved around academics. I got into a good high school in Florida. We do, Like magnet schools. So basically like a school will have a specialty. So I went to an advanced studies high school and took
Ashton: I've never heard
Regan Fox: classes.
Yeah, it was really cool, because there was like an art school and there was a medical science school and college prep and all sorts of stuff. So I went to an advanced study school, so everybody had to take AP classes and I ended up doing IB classes too, which is International Baccalaureate program.
I went to school with kids from all over the county, lots of different experiences and backgrounds. and some of the classes that I was taking, like kids in China or.
Spain or whatever, if they were going to an IB school, they were taking the same classes. So had an international scope, which I think led me to a lot of my current interests. [00:03:00]
Ashton: Yeah.
Regan Fox: then I, I graduated and went to college. I went to the University of Florida and graduated with a degree in environmental management and went on to work in agriculture for a little bit with that, until I realized that's not exactly what I wanted to be doing and traveled and turned to seasonal work.
So that's kind of where I am now in a nutshell, how I got there.
Ashton: And what did your parents do for work when you were growing up?
So my mom went between catering and working at like a medical research place at the front desk, and my dad works in construction, sales type stuff. Okay.
Academic Drive Explained
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Ashton: so you said you were really academically driven and focused. Was that your own intrinsic desire and motivation that you put on yourself? Or was that passed down by your parents? They had really high expectations of you to do well academically. Where[00:04:00]
Regan Fox: I,
Ashton: come
Regan Fox: I think a little bit of both. My older brother was always super smart and did pretty good in school and growing up. I just think, I don't know if it was competitive,
But I think just internally, I really wanted to do well. I wanted to. You know, please, my parents and I also just enjoyed it. I always have loved taking tests and studying and just the feeling of accomplishment of doing well and that sort of thing. And I know not a lot of people have that love of school, but I just have always really loved learning
Ashton:
Choosing an Agriculture Degree
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Ashton: so then you mentioned that you studied environmental science, is that what you said?
Regan Fox: Yeah. Technically it was a different degree. Environmental management. It was more like agriculture based,
Ashton: And where did that interest come from?
Regan Fox: honestly. So random. thinking back to it, I'm like, what was 17-year-old me thinking I grew up wanting to be a doctor. So it's okay, that's, you
Ashton: Oh, [00:05:00]
Regan Fox: science. And as I got older, I think I realized.
what came with becoming a doctor and what kind of rigorous classes and stuff you had to take. And I became a little less interested. And so I was like, okay, I love the environment. I think agriculture is really interesting. I think in late high school I went down a rabbit hole of ve vegetarianism where,
Ashton: okay.
Regan Fox: I was just super interested in how our food impacted the earth and the environment.
Ashton:
Regan Fox: I think that's where the interest for environmental stuff within agriculture came. And I went in to college and I just stuck with it and I loved it. I loved it. It was so interesting to me.
Ashton: And have you always been interested in being in the outdoors and, spending time in nature? Or that also kind of came when you started studying this?
Regan Fox: Yeah, I feel like growing up we would go camping, like every now and then,
Ashton: Right.
Regan Fox: I wouldn't say like hiking or anything like [00:06:00] that was something I did growing up. So. When I got a little bit older, I definitely became more interested, late high school, early college.
I really wanted to get into that. I think especially with social media, you see everybody going on these epic hikes and being from Florida, it's oh my gosh, I've never seen the mountains. I wanna do that. So
Ashton: it's quite flat there.
And so when you were going through college or even in high school, was there a vision you had for your future of what you wanted to do I know you said that you went into agriculture. Was that always the goal?
Regan Fox: That was my goal, but I don't really think I ever knew what I was gonna do with that. Which, looking back, maybe that's a little dumb, but I think when you're 17, when you're 18, I wasn't thinking about down the road. I was just thinking about, okay, what's interesting to me right now?
But I never had a goal. I never had a dream career.
Ashton: do you feel like your path was influenced by. People around you, whatever your brother did in following [00:07:00] his footsteps, or did you have a lot of space to decide I'm gonna try this, I'm gonna try that?
Regan Fox: Yeah, my brother has a finance degree, and I really didn't have tons of friends who were in the agriculture college or doing anything like I was doing I was definitely just interested in a lot of different things.
I ended up graduating with four minors, which is ridiculous, like not necessary at all, and
actually going back, I'm remembering I did have a plan.
Peace Corps Plan Meets Covid
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Regan Fox: I was gonna graduate and I really wanted to do the Peace Corps, They have an agriculture sector and I was like, that's perfect.
I have an agriculture degree and I don't have anything else to do. So I'll go into the Peace Corps. I love helping people. I love travel, this is perfect. And I graduated and it was COVID, so
Ashton: Mm.
Regan Fox: Peace Corps was just not gonna be happening for me anytime soon. So I had to. Basically reevaluate.
Ashton: so you said you wanted to go to the Peace Corps, but you didn't.
What ended up happening when you graduated?
Regan Fox: S
Montana or California Decision
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Regan Fox: o I knew I didn't [00:08:00] wanna stay in Florida at this point. I was actually looking at some seasonal stuff. and I accepted a job in Montana at a state park, and I had applied for some other stuff that pertained more to my degree in agriculture.
But I got this job in Montana and I packed up my little 2007 Jeep and I was gonna drive out there. And literally the night before I was supposed to leave for Montana, I got a call from, the job that was at the top of my list, and they hadn't gotten back to me. So I figured, okay, I didn't get that job.
I'm just gonna go with this other job in Montana. It'll be cool. It's just for the summer.
Ashton: Mm-hmm.
Regan Fox: I got a call from a job in the Central Valley in California and they were like, Hey, yeah, so you, you actually got the job. And they were gonna give me housing in California and I had never been to California the night before.
Yeah. So it was like my car was literally packed to move to Montana for the summer, the night before I got a call. And I just remember hanging up and crying, being like, I don't know what [00:09:00] to do. And my mom was like, it's fine. just pick whichever one you think is better. And I ended up going with the one that was more agriculturally focused in California.
So I called up the job in Montana. I was supposed to be there in a week or something, and I was like, Hey, yeah, I'm not coming. I'm so sorry. I drove from Florida to California. made it into a little road trip and then got there, started my job.
I lived in Bakersfield, which we both know there's not a whole lot going on there.
Ashton: unfortunately, we both have had to spend a lot of time in Baker driving through Bakersfield.
Regan Fox: And like the Central Valley as a whole.
Bakersfield Research Reality
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Regan Fox: I was doing, entomology work and research for a vineyard. So entomology is the study of insects. So I was doing like beetle counting and different stuff like that.
Ashton: about that?
Regan Fox: Oh yeah. I loved it. I had an entomology minor. I was super interested in it and I was getting to use [00:10:00] my degree, which I was stoked about 'cause the other job was completely unrelated.
I was gonna be giving cave tours, so I was excited to have something in the field.
Ashton: Sorry to rewind it a little bit back, because you said oh, seasonal work in Cape Tears. Did you know people who had done seasonal work before?
Regan Fox: I think I had met here and there, friends of friends at uni, I think probably one girl I met worked at Yellowstone one summer, but it wasn't anything that I had ever fully considered. until probably the end of senior year.
Ashton: Okay. And then this agriculture job is the typical path when you graduate with a degree like that? Are you going and working on farms? what are the options if you really want to use your degree to go do?
Regan Fox: Yeah. Most people that I went to school with ended up going and either getting masters in some sort of science field, like a master's in soil science or going to law school
Ashton: Okay. So you didn't really have anybody to look to you were just [00:11:00] throwing options into the wind to see what happened.
Regan Fox: Oh yeah, definitely. At this point
Ashton: Okay. Okay. So we're gonna, we're gonna get back to the Bakersfield
time, because you didn't stay there long,
so what happened after Bakersfield? And we'll rewind back and get into the details of that time period.that's the holding pattern we're gonna discuss.
Regan Fox: So I stayed there for six months. Moved home. And basically as I was there, I was okay, something needs to change. And so like any 22-year-old with a little bit of money in their bank account, I was like, yeah, I'm just gonna travel actually. I don't have to make a decision, I'm just gonna travel.
Ashton: And you hadn't really traveled much up until this point.
Regan Fox: I had traveled a little bit. I had gone to Mexico by myself I had gone to Costa Rica for spring break but nothing crazy.
Ashton:
One Way Ticket to Morocco
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Ashton: So you get back to Jacksonville and you're, you decide to travel, and where do you go?
Regan Fox: So I'm home. I'm like, okay, where have I always wanted to go? [00:12:00] And something about Morocco had alwaysappealed to me. And this was 2022. So. The world was just starting to open up from COVID and Morocco had just opened up their borders. So I was like, this is perfect. I booked a group trip for the start of it and I was like, I'm gonna buy a one-way ticket and just see like what happens.
I knew I would end up in Europe after Morocco,
Ashton: Morocco is a
Regan Fox: yeah,
Ashton: to pick.
Regan Fox: I just really wanted to visit, so I booked a group trip for the first two weeks and the last week I did solo. And I think that's great I think I would've been too overwhelmed. So I think a group trip was
awesome.
Ashton: wow.
But you had a great time.
Regan Fox: Yeah, it was amazing. And then I met people along the way I met a girl in Munich and she was like, I actually have next week off if you wanna come stay with me. And I was like,
uh, yeah.
Ashton: that's the best part of solo travel.
those things don't really happen to you when you travel with other people.
Regan Fox: Oh, definitely not. And like I ended up meeting so many other people And I ended up doing that for [00:13:00] four months. Basically. I was traveling until I ran out of money. And if you're not watching that, that happens relatively fast.
yeah, I ended up like realizing, oh no, I'm running out of money.
Running Out of Money in Europe
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Regan Fox: And my family had decided they were gonna go to Australia to visit my aunt and uncle, my cousins who all live over there, the border had just opened up from COVID. And so they were like, Hey, if you can get yourself to Australia, we will cover your food and stuff.
So I was like, awesome. Love that. Yeah. Except they weren't going for another few months, so I was like, okay, I
Ashton: Oh,
Regan Fox: I have to stay in Europe for another few months to be able to get to Australia. And so I, I think I got on World Packers or one of those websites, and I was messaging hostels, being like, can I please volunteer for you?
And it was a week away that I was asking to come. And of course everybody was like, no. hey, it's may, June in Europe. we are full. We've been full for a while
Ashton: I'm thinking about being in your shoes and being in Europe and not having a plan and being like, okay, I have no [00:14:00] money left. Have you always been somebody who's been okay with uncertainty and living in this unknown type of situation or does this because that situation, I'm so much better with that now, but I think at 22, that would've given me a heart attack,
But it sounds like you're pretty comfortable sitting in that uncertainty.
Regan Fox: Yeah, I, I don't know if I've always been like this, but that was great, exposure therapy, and I loved it. I would do stuff that, now looking back, I'm like, okay, that, that was a, a little much I didn't wanna spend money on soap. So I would go and if the hostel had a free bin and it had a little bit of shampoo or something in it, I'd be like, perfect, I have soap for the week.
Or if I ran out of that, I would go to people in the hostel who were in the bathroom to shower and I'd be like, Hey, I left my shampoo in the room. Can I have a little bit of yours? And I would get a squirt of shampoo from them or just stuff like that where I'm like, okay, that was a little chaotic.
That
was, that was,
a little crazy. So I don't know if [00:15:00] I'm on that level anymore, but definitely back then.
Ashton: What do you think came over you?
Regan Fox: I don't know. I think just being like 22, 23
Ashton: All The
freedom.
Regan Fox: yeah, having so much freedom. Not having anywhere that you have to be,
and not having anyone that you have to be with.
if you want to just lay in bed all day, you can. If you want to go out, you can. It's definitely something that I feel like is very, very freeing and something everybody should do at one point in their life.
Ashton: Yeah, it's amazing. It's overwhelming, but also as I've talked about the highs and lows. It's like you have the really low lows and then you're experiencing like such high highs, and I feel like that's what keeps you on that rollercoaster of uncertainty the adrenaline rush of all of it, right?
Regan Fox: I definitely think you get obsessed with it in a way.
you just feel like you always need to feel like that, and you're like, okay, if I just stay in one place, I'm not gonna run out of shampoo, but now I'm not getting to go on this [00:16:00] crazy sunset hike or whatever it is.
Ashton: Well, I think you say yes a lot more when you're already uncomfortable and you're already in a position of this freedom. I'm such a firm believer that energy attracts energy, and so if you're so curious and open to experiences, those things will come to you.
Whereas when you are in your comfort zone and you are at home, I don't necessarily know if you're projecting that same energy out
Regan Fox: Yeah,
Ashton: opportunities aren't necessarily like coming to you on a Tuesday night.
Regan Fox: that's true. And I think I was feeling really confident because everything had lined up so perfectly for me. to the point where I think this story really encapsulates it. I was in Berlin and everybody in Berlin wears black boots and I didn't have any money for black boots, but boy, I wanted a pair of black boots.
So bad. And I remember one night I walked into the shower of the hostel and someone had taken their size seven Doc Martens and put them on the top of the trash. Like they were very [00:17:00] clearly in the trash. someone had didn't have room for them or something. I don't know.
And I literally walked in and I had been earlier in the day talking like, oh, I really want black boots. And they were just propped up there. And I was like, oh my God,
Ashton: Fuck
Regan Fox: these are in the trash. these are for me. And I don't wear size seven, I wear size eight. So they didn't really fit perfectly, but I was like, oh, that's a sign.
my feet are getting squeezed into those boots tonight. And
Ashton: Oh my
Regan Fox: sounds so fake. But it was like stuff like that kept happening. I was like, everything is lining up for me.
I just felt so lucky.
Ashton: but I also think, I say this a lot. I think if you are in alignment of what you are supposed to be doing in this period of your life, I do think things just work. you
Regan Fox: Yeah.
Ashton: to fight for them. I mean, I'm not saying that life should always be that way of like it's easy. It's easy, but if you've put yourself in a position and listened to your gut and listen to your intuition of where you're supposed to be, I do think things just fall into place.
Regan Fox: Oh yeah,
Ashton: story. I think that shit happens.
Regan Fox: [00:18:00] yeah.
Ashton: to me a lot in New Zealand.
A lot in New Zealand and I just trusted and leaned into the uncertainty and was so. Certain that I was in the right place, but I didn't have a plan and things did just fall into place where I was like, whoa,
Regan Fox: Yeah.
Ashton: Alright.
Regan Fox: Yeah. I love it when that happens. Yeah.
Ashton: I know it doesn't happen all the time, but it's nice when it does,
Volunteering at a Greek Hostel
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Ashton: So, I kind of got us off track there, but veering back, you knew you had to be in Europe for a couple more months and you were trying to go on world packers and hostile worlds and get jobs,
Regan Fox: Yes.
Ashton: ended up happening.
Regan Fox: So I was messaging everyone. Everyone was like, no, sorry. then finally this little lady in the middle of Greece messages back and she's yeah, we could use a hand. she had a little hostel in Columba, Greece, I wasn't in Greece at the time. I think I was in Barcelona
so I'm like, okay, I have to get over to this little town because she's the only person who's Gonna let me stay there for free for a few weeks. I ended up staying there for [00:19:00] three weeks It's a tiny, tiny, tiny little town, of course, all the hostels on the coast and in the Greek islands and everything were filled up, so they, they didn't need my help.
but I was in Colum Bacca, which is where the rocks of MEA are. It's these big rocks with, these huge churches on the top. Really, really cool. And so there's lots of hiking and stuff, but there's tourism just not a ton and not a ton of people living in that town either. So
Ashton: is this? Its own island?
Regan Fox: No, it's in the middle of mainland Greece, so it's
Ashton: Oh,
Regan Fox: not really on the tourist path so much.
Ashton: Okay.
Regan Fox: Most of the locals didn't speak English. I would just walk around. I worked in the mornings and then I would have the rest of the day off.
I would go hiking and I spent a lot of time by myself just walking around trying to talk to the locals. So
that was a really similar thing where it's like everything just works out how it's supposed to though.
I I needed that time to just chill out, be in a little bit more of a routine, obviously save [00:20:00] money. And then towards the end I was getting lonely and I was like, okay, I am ready to move on.
So. Around that time I started to make my way back to Germany, to fly to Australia.
Ashton: you made up that time, the couple months that you needed to get to Australia.
Regan Fox: Yes. Yeah. I ended up working out and it was by the slimmest margin, to the point where when I left the hostile owner gave me a hundred euro, which they're definitely not supposed to do 'cause they're not supposed to pay you. But she was like, thanks for your help. And I remember being like, oh my God, this a hundred euros is everything to me right now.
Like
Ashton: Changes your life.
Australia Reset and Seasonal Jobs
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Ashton: Okay, So you go to Australia, you meet your family, then what happens?
Regan Fox: So at this point I'm out of money. I'm with my family. I have a flight booked home. And that's pretty much my plan is to figure something out. ' cause for the last few months of my life the plan is, there is no plan. And then it's now you have no money so babe, you have to make a plan.
Ashton: Mm-hmm.
Regan Fox: And so I'm, now it's go time. I [00:21:00] was looking online trying to figure out what I was gonna do and I was like, okay, well I just had the best five months of my life, so I can't just get a corporate job now, unfortunately for everyone. And so I'm looking online trying to figure out what I'm gonna do and at this point it's I end of July and so I'm gonna be home in August.
I need something to do. I'm looking online and I see a science school that is hiring for people to help out with rock climbing and mountain biking So I'm like, oh, this is perfect. I know about science and I have worked with kids before and it was.
Ashton: corporate America
Regan Fox: No corporate America for me today.
so I get an interview and I'm still with my family and they're like, what do you know about rock climbing and mountain biking? And I'm like, nothing. I have never done either of those activities, but it doesn't matter. we're just gonna try.
Ashton: I feel like a really key theme to Reagan and all of your stories is you do not doubt yourself. You're like, I don't know it, but I'm gonna do it.[00:22:00]
Regan Fox: I feel like you have to be a little bit delusional. that's the key to success is just being like, oh, I'll figure it out.
Ashton: Oh,
Regan Fox: I'll figure it out.
So I got that job and moved to West Virginia, and that was the best few months of my life. that job was so much fun I learned a lot about the outdoor industry working at a camp setting and learned about seasonal work really.
'cause at this point I
Ashton: Yeah.
Regan Fox: had a seasonal job. I met a lot of people who were living the seasonal life,
Ashton: And once you have that first seasonal job, damn. Is it hard to ever leave it?
Regan Fox: Oh, oh, definitely.
Ashton: so that was your first seasonal job in West Virginia. How long were you there for?
Regan Fox: I was there, it was shorter it was just until Thanksgiving. So like beginning of
Ashton: sure. Okay.
Regan Fox: So what, three months? And then, you know, back on the seasonal grind. At this point I'm like, okay, I still don't really know what I'm doing. And a bunch of my friends were like, Hey, we're gonna go work a ski season.
So I was like, I have not skied before, but let's do it.
Ashton: [00:23:00] this another example of the delusion is
Regan Fox: Yeah. Yeah. So I applied to be a ski instructor. I had gone skiing once and I cried. And so here I am applying to be a ski instructor and I'm like, oh my God, what am I doing? I do not know how to ski. And I get an interview and they're like, oh, you've worked with kids? And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, do you know how to ski?
And I'm like, no. And they're like, oh, okay. That's fine. We can teach you how to ski, but we can't teach you how to work with kids.
Ashton: Oh my God.
Regan Fox: And I was like, that's perfect.
Ashton: I feel like this is a key. If anyone wants to get into the ski industry and be a ski instructor, go to West Virginia.
Regan Fox: Yeah, for real.
Ashton: in.
Regan Fox: So ended up doing that. And then same thing happened in the spring. I had a friend who was like, yeah, I worked down in the keys doing like snorkeling, sailing with kids, And I was like, okay, yep. Sign me up. I'm there.
Ashton: Yeah.
That job sounded so cool. The one you had in the Keys,
Regan Fox: Yeah, it was awesome being outside every day,
I was working for the Boy Scouts down there,
we would get, groups [00:24:00] and then go kayaking, fishing, sailing, all these different things. that was so much fun. and working and living with all of your coworkers and the chaos that comes along with that.
I ended up doing that for probably seven or eight months. And then,
Ashton: a long one.
Regan Fox: yeah, and then I started my cycle again. I went back to West Virginia for the fall. Did that for, and then.
I traveled, came back, worked in the Keys for a couple of months, and then I went to Alaska.
Ashton: Loving the seasonal life.
Regan Fox: Yeah. Very, very seasonal.
Alaska Guiding Fears
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Regan Fox: I was not anywhere for very long at all that year,
Ashton: so you go to Alaska and that is where you also did a guiding job, and how long were you in Alaska for?
Regan Fox: so I was only in Alaska for a little over a month. We drove the company vehicles from Washington state up to Alaska and back. We had one trip and it was 30 days. So it was just one, one long trip. then we came back and that was [00:25:00] working with older teenagers,
And that was really my first proper guiding experience I'd say. I had to get my wilderness first responder and we were in the back country for four days at a time,
Ashton: you're dealing with, uh, big old animals up there
Regan Fox: Oh my gosh. Yeah, the moose and the bears and everything.
And I was terrified. I was terrified the whole time.
Ashton: And you're responsible for kids. So it's, a whole added element too.
so at this point, are you still really on the seasonal train, you're not burned out. You're like, I could continue doing this for quite a long time.
MBA Detour in Germany
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Regan Fox: At this point I think I was, I was getting a little tired and I was kind of over some of the dynamics of living and working with all the same people.
I was thinking what's next? And I thought I was gonna go and get an MBA That was my plan my older brother has an MBA, which I guess is where I got that idea from. I don't really know, but I was like, oh, I need to do something.
And that seems a pretty good [00:26:00] choice. I actually applied to an MBA program in Germany. This is so random. And I got, yeah, I got in and then I was like, actually I don't know if I wanna move to Europe. I don't really have any money saved. I don't know if this is a good idea.
so I ended up not doing it, but that would've been the fall after we met, I would've started.
And then that kind of leads us to like where we meet.
Ashton: job?
Regan Fox: Yeah.
Ashton: Yeah. I feel like this is maybe the only episode. we can actually talk about what we, Did the last summer and what we're both go back to again, and then we can dive into your actual holding pattern.
Meeting on Guide Training
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Ashton: But, you do Alaska,
we both apply, when do you get the job? The tour guiding job.
Regan Fox: I feel like I applied around Thanksgiving time.
I'd been looking at like different companies because I had done a lot of seasonal work that wasn't super professional,
I was making pennies, so I was like, okay, something that's a little more professional [00:27:00] can make a little bit more money.
Ashton: well we, we've been talking about this job that Reagan and I do did whatever you wanna say. But, basically we guide for a small group adventure company and we, lead tour groups all over the US the national parks.
And we have to drive a 15 person passenger van with a trailer attached to it,
But, it's a very unique job and I mean, it's not, it's like nothing I have ever, ever, ever done and probably will never do anything like this ever again. but we're both the youngest. Tourer guides. didn't have any guiding experience before.
You had a little bit, but not in this context of
Regan Fox: Mm-hmm.
Ashton: we were doing. So we met on training trip and both of us are like, what the actual fuck are we getting ourselves into? it was a very intense week,
And
Regan Fox: of course
Ashton: summer
Regan Fox: everyone that we were training with, they had been doing it for 15, 20
Ashton: for
Regan Fox: years.
Ashton: Yes. Reagan and I are like, okay, [00:28:00] alright. This is gonna be so interesting.
Regan Fox: Yeah.
Ashton: and it was probably one of my most stressful summer. but it's been amazing and we've seen a lot of places.
It's fun 'cause we don't get to work together, but we tend to run into each other in national parks or in cities. We, where were we in San Francisco? We saw each
Regan Fox: Oh yeah. Yosemite, we saw each other.
Ashton: Yosemite. Yeah, so we tend to overlap with some of the guides 'cause we run different itineraries, but, sometimes you're in the same national park as like a different itinerary.
So, we kept each other's locations all summer. I'm like, oh, you're in this place. I'm in this place.
Tour Life Highs and Lows
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Ashton: it can get quite lonely. we were just talking about this before we started recording, but, It's an amazing, cool job, everything like that. But you live out of hotel rooms and you don't have coworkers.
we don't work together. we run trips on our own, so it can get quite lonely. so it is fun to run into each other and stuff. But, yeah, and we're both going back this, I start next week and Reagan's starting a little bit later in the summer, but now
we're not the baby leaders [00:29:00] anymore.
Regan Fox: I know. I, a lot of people ask, you know, oh, what do you do for work? And I feel like trying to explain this job, it's well, what do I not do? Like I make food, I drive, I tell funny stories. Literally everything. But it's
Ashton: I give a lot of therapy sessions.
Regan Fox: my gosh. Yeah. Sit, sit in the passenger seat and we will talk for hours driving through the desert and you will walk away feeling renewed
Ashton: And you're navigating national parks and travel and you're also navigating people.
Regan Fox: Mm-hmm.
Ashton: And we both have had, we both have had some challenging people on trips, and then sometimes you get amazing groups that make it all so worth it. And you do get to be in the most beautiful places in the United States. So it, it is quite amazing. But it's not an easy lifestyle by any means. And it's not an easy job at all.
Regan Fox: Oh, for sure. Yeah.
Ashton: And you don't have a life.
Regan Fox: no. Yeah, and people hear what we're doing or whatever. At least for me, I [00:30:00] feel like they hear it and they're like, oh my God, that's amazing. Why would you ever want to leave that? that sounds like the best job ever. And it is.
But also, it's so hard. I
Ashton: so
Regan Fox: don't get to call my friends because I'm so exhausted at the end of the day, and people don't hear from me for days and days at a time because I'm just so busy.
Ashton: but that's anything in life. you have to have a job and if I'm gonna get paid to do something I couldn't even think of, and anything else I would rather get paid for. But on top of that, it's, yeah, the longevity of it. I mean, we do work with people who have been doing it for 15 plus years, so you definitely can fall into that, but it, is pretty taxing. And for me, the hardest part is I love living with community and with friends and sharing my life, and I always. Say that it's the weirdest experience, your day to day, you don't share with anybody. You're in a new city every day you're in a new place. Every day. You meet new groups of people, and then they leave after a week or two weeks you have with them, and then you meet a whole new group of people and it's a very weird experience.
Regan Fox: It's [00:31:00] super weird and sometimes you meet people that you are obsessed with and they're so awesome. And then.
I'll probably never see them again.
And I feel like always saying goodbye is super hard that's just an another factor. And then on top of that, you're just by yourself and you're trying to be professional, so you're not gonna talk about your life problems to these people who've known you for a week.
Ashton: And then also for you adding on top of that, having a partner I mean, that's not a typical relationship it's not long distance where he can come visit you, you're in a different place every two days, so,
Regan Fox: Yeah, it's super weird and you definitely have to navigate it and be flexible and just make it work when you can and make sacrifices And I feel like this for all of my personal relationships too, but having such a transient, job and just being all over the place.
I always say if I can be there, I will be there. If I can't, I can't. But if I can, I will a hundred percent be there. I feel like that is so hard with being all over the place and
Ashton: Yeah.
Regan Fox: maintain friendships [00:32:00] that part has been something I've really struggled with.
Ashton: Yeah. I feel like we both like, I felt like I was coming out of a vortex when the season ended last year, of whoa, where have I been living? And because you're traveling, so every week is a different experience in different people in different places. It only was, I guess a five month period, six month period, but it felt like maybe two years I'd been cry, crammed into that because so much had happened. craziness, craziness. But I'm glad we got to share a little bit about that. 'cause like you said, it's a really difficult job and experience and lifestyle to try and explain. So I it's nice to be able to, talk a bit more about it and that's landed us where you are now, you're going back to school, but you're doing a little bit of tour guarding again in the summer.
Bakersfield Loneliness
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Ashton: caught up on timeline, but let's,
go back into that Bakersfield time because as everyone can pick up on with seasonal life, which I've talked about in other interviews I've done, who, with people who have done seasonal work, you go through these holding [00:33:00] patterns so often, we both have been through so many of them, but some are more formative than others. I would love for you to set the scene of what life was looking like before you entered the holding pattern. as we mentioned you were in Bakersfield,
Regan Fox: Yeah, so I moved out there. I didn't know anybody. And Bakersfield is kind of a weird place. It's a lot of older people and if there are younger people, they're married with kids at 21. I always just joked that it's if you put a West Texas town with California prices in California,
So I really struggled with making friends. I was doing pretty much anything I could think of. I joined the Young Farmers Association. I was on Bumble, BFF, went to the same trivia every week, just trying to find people to be in community with, trying to make friends and just nothing was really sticking.
I had one really good friend who he is the reason I even made it all six months, just having someone to [00:34:00] do activities with and hang out with and we would go to trivia and the hot springs and stuff, but really other than him, I did not have any friends. I would go to work pretty much.
I worked early because it gets so hot. I would be home by probably three. And then most days, I didn't really have anything else to do the rest of the day. And I just was super depressed. I would go places by myself, and that was totally fine. I didn't really mind being by myself, but it was the efforts of trying to make friends and just not finding anybody who was even in the remotely same stage of life as me was super, super weird because I had just moved from my college town where everyone was in the same stage as life as me.
And so I, I would go to work and I, I would listen to so many podcasts, because I felt like I needed to talk to someone. And on top of all this, obviously making friends was really hard. I had coworkers, who were the same age as me, but like younger than everyone else that we worked with.
The first couple of months, 'cause it was summertime, but they were interns and then they went [00:35:00] back to school. So at that point I was super lonely because now I'm like the youngest person and everybody that I worked with pretty much only spoke Spanish. and so that was another layer because your girl does not speak Spanish.
And I definitely didn't speak any Spanish when I moved there. I didn't realize, when they were interviewing me, they asked me oh yeah, a lot of the people who work here speak Spanish. how do you feel about that? I thought it was a diversity question. I was like, yeah, totally fine.
Ashton: Uh, what they meant was girly. Everyone is gonna speak Spanish. can you speak Spanish? They didn't ask me that, but. I thought it was like, oh, are you okay with diversity? And I was like, yeah, I love diversity. inclusion.
Regan Fox: yeah, but turns out they, they did maybe mean that, but they also meant everybody is gonna be speaking Spanish, and so I would try, but I never took Spanish classes.
so yeah, that was really rough because I'm a yapper and so I would listen to my little podcasts and pretend like people were talking to me. [00:36:00] And I'm sure my mom and some of my friends were pretty tired of me, calling them because I had no one to talk to. So I was on the phone.
Ashton: And you just you did what you thought you were supposed to do, you got a job, that was your degree. And that's what we're told to do is you go to college and you use your degree. And so you're like going into this oh my God, I did it. I found a job. And you probably went into it with all these expectations and feeling so good and satisfied. And then the reality hits of you were just surrounded by all your friends in a place, like you said, where everyone's in the same lifestyle you're not moving to a city, you're moving to fucking Bakersfield. no offense to anyone who lives in Bakersfield, and yeah, that's such a shock to the system and such a shock, to the life that you were previously living. I can imagine how hard that would be in the loneliness that kind of ensues with all of that.
Regan Fox: Yeah, it was definitely very, very lonely. I gave myself a, a cry limit at work each week. I told myself I was only allowed to cry at work once a [00:37:00] week. So if it was Monday and I wanted to cry, I'd be like, no, I have to save it because I can't cry more than one.
Regan Fox: And it wasn't even the job,
it was pretty interesting. It wasn't anything too crazy, too hard. but just the loneliness, so
they ended up asking me, my contract was only six months, and they ended up asking me if I wanted to stay and I felt so bad because they had been so wonderful to me.
they helped me with my apartment, they were paying for my apartment. So I felt terrible, but I knew I could not stay, that would just not be okay. And a lot of people say oh, in a new place, you need to give yourself like a year or two to get adjusted, which I think is true.
But I think I just knew in that moment I cannot stay here.
Ashton: what was really gonna change in a year there, it's not magically gonna have a, a lot of young people and things to do and those things aren't changing, you
Regan Fox: Yeah. Yeah. So I ended up telling them no, that I wanted to go back to school, which is true. I still wanna go back to [00:38:00] school. but I used that as an excuse just 'cause I felt so bad. packed up my stuff and moved back to Florida. made it into a road trip on the way home. Saw lots of national parks and that's something that I am so grateful for the loneliness, honestly, because during my time in California, I was all over the place.
I had no one to hang out with. So I would drive to Death Valley for the weekend, or I would drive to Yosemite, or I would drive to LA to explore.
Ashton: Yeah.
Regan Fox: something that honestly was really positive and I think ended up helping me get to the job that we have now, because I could say oh yeah, I know this place pretty well.
And yeah, I've been to Joshua Tree and yeah, I've done this. so that was honestly a blessing in disguise, But yeah, ended that, moved back to Florida. I would say in theory, that's like where my holding pattern begins. mentally I was in one before.
Ashton: but this is the
period where nothing's really happening. You don't know what direction you wanna move [00:39:00] forward in. You're back at your parents' house. there's no forward motion. We're kind of, in the pause state
Regan Fox: oh, definitely.
Ashton: when you get back at your parents' house, what are the feelings that are happening? is the depression even magnified in anymore? Are you in a shame spiral Did you feel better now that you had left? where's your head at.
Regan Fox: I think part of me definitely felt better because I was, closer to my family. I was closer to my friends that all lived in Florida. but I, the element of shame and just kind of embarrassment was definitely there. It wasn't necessarily a failure. I didn't feel oh my God, I just failed at this.
But I guess a part of me was seeing all of my peers do really well in their new jobs and they were loving the new city that they moved to, or they were loving their master's degree that they were doing and
I was moving back in with my parents, which as a, what, 23-year-old? that's not ideal.
Ashton: yeah.
yeah, What were you doing [00:40:00] day to day to just get through the day?
Regan Fox: I was definitely focusing on the future and on what I was gonna do in a couple of months because I came home and I knew I was gonna, do something big. So I think the few months that I was at home, I definitely just filled with excitement.
I, was kind of sad about what happened, but I was excited to be home and I was excited to leave more than anything. I was definitely ready to go on this next big adventure.
Ashton: the adventure was like, did it take a while for you to come up with that plan to go travel?
Regan Fox: I think I always knew that I wanted to do something like that. I didn't know whether it was gonna be moving to Australia for a working holiday visa or going somewhere. so I knew that was coming and I just was using that time to regroup.
Ashton: Mm-hmm.
But I definitely was very confused on my [00:41:00] career path and Yeah.
Regan Fox: wanted to try to figure that out before I left on this big trip. And I just couldn't figure it out. I had no idea what I wanted to do. And honestly, every time I'm sitting still, they creep back in and it's like, okay, well you're doing this.
Are you sure you want to be doing this? so I think at that point I was just trying to take all the negative feelings and put them into something positive, even if I didn't exactly know what that was gonna be.
Ashton: Do you feel like you were feeling pressure from your family or anyone when you went back home of like, what are you doing with your life? What do you, what's next?
Regan Fox: Oh, they definitely were, I would say not so much pressure, especially for my parents. My parents never pressured me to Do anything or go any path. but especially like random older people, just asking oh, so what's your plan? And it's like, well, I think I'm gonna travel for a little bit.
And they're like, but you're not gonna work. And it's oh,
Ashton: [00:42:00] Yeah.
Regan Fox: I'll work. I don't know.
Ashton: it kind of goes back to earlier in our conversation of you are, it sounds like pretty good with this uncertainty period, but how did you not let it affect you and weigh on your shoulders about the fact of like, yeah, I don't have things figured out.
what goes through your mind to, I guess accept this is where I am and that's that. 'cause it sounds like you have a pretty healthy mindset around that.
Regan Fox: I think realizing every step of the way, I kind of unlock something about myself that I didn't realize. And there's been so many key moments where oh, that this thing had to happen in order for me to learn this thing. for example, doing my wilderness first responder course.
I feel like I had to do that in order to unlock a key factor. oh, you might be really interested in the medical field. That was something that I hadn't really considered before. And honestly, if I had not done that course, I don't know if that's something I would have realized, at least not for a little bit longer.
So I [00:43:00] think just realizing each thing has to come in order. At least this is what I believe is like the things that are happening now are setting you up for success for something later, even if you don't know what that something is. Just knowing you are gonna gain skills and you are gonna gain realizations about yourself that are gonna be useful later somehow, even if you can't see it.
Ashton: Do you feel like you had that mindset when you were in this holding pattern? you were able to be in this period and be like, well, something's gonna come out of this, or is that something that you feel like you only have because you can reflect back on it now?
Regan Fox: I definitely think that's something that I can reflect back on I think at the time I was more scared more inexperienced and I think again, those realizations can only come with experience and putting yourself out there. I think at that time, I remember being so freaked out once I had decided I was gonna go on a solo trip.
I was so anxious and [00:44:00] so scared, and I remember I was at a music festival. With a bunch of my friends and I wanted to leave the crowd for some reason. I just didn't want to be as far up as we were or something.
Ashton: Mm-hmm.
Regan Fox: my friend was like, oh, if you leave us there's no reception, we won't be able to find you.
And I just remember at first I was like, oh my God, I'll be by myself. that's so scary. I'm about to be my by myself for a long time. 'cause I was leaving to go on that trip in a few weeks and
and then I kind of just had this realization it's okay to be by yourself.
It's okay if you want to go back to camp, it's okay if you want to go sit further back from the stage. It's okay if you want to go get water and you can't find everybody afterwards, you don't have to stay with everyone the whole time to have a good time and to feel safe and to feel like you're getting the best out of this experience.
if you want to just be by yourself, that's okay.
Ashton: it sounds like that's an overarching theme of this time period of your life, of the loneliness. And not to say that all of us, we would choose to be by ourselves, but [00:45:00] that's been something that's been so powerful me through all of my periods as well. And we both wouldn't have the jobs we have now if we weren't comfortable being alone and being. By ourselves. And I know it's so scary and we tend to try to avoid that as humans we're social creatures so it makes sense. But I think once you can lean into alone time and there's a difference between solitude and loneliness in my opinion. there's a stark difference.
And you can embrace that, loneliness and being alone and accept it for all the things you just said, that you're gonna be okay, it's really powerful. that's a powerful realization and experience to have. And especially I think everything that followed this holding pattern for you just continued to hammer in. How good you were on your own and solo travel and all of these jobs and the changes. And when you're in seasonal work, unless you find a partner who's also in seasonal work, you tend to make all these changes on your own as well. So that's a huge powerful realization and I [00:46:00] hope, I hope everybody at some point in their lives can also have that same experience.
Because at the end of the day, you leave this earth, it's just gonna be you, no
one else is with you. So it's an important thing.
Regan Fox: Oh yeah. It's definitely, I think, set me up for success, like you were saying the rest of the holding patterns that I've experienced. there has absolutely been times where. I don't know what I'm doing and I don't know what's coming next. And I'm thinking, why the heck did I get a agriculture degree that I'm not using and why am I doing this?
And then just to come back and realize hey, that's fine. you're allowed to do what you wanna do and you're allowed to just learn from all of these experiences. I think also with seasonal work, it's so important to have these times where you have some downtime and you can reflect and figure out what you learned about yourself from what you just went through.
I think that is like one of the best parts of seasonal work is [00:47:00] just all the growth and then having some time to sit and think on it.
Ashton: Oh, I totally agree. I am in one of those. like literally sitting in one of those periods right now back at my, I'm back at my parents' house and I am about to start this job, but I just finished my winter, winter season even though it didn't really work, but it was a winter season and I'm in this and it's not even a long holding pattern, it's not a long in between, but it's so uncomfortable.
Regan Fox: Mm-hmm.
Ashton: I'm so uncomfortable right now and I just wanted to, I want to go and I want the next chapter to start, but yeah, even you just saying that is like, no, we need these periods. And it's nice to be able to reflect before I start something new
and it's nice to have the pause, but it's never gonna be easy to sit in the pause.
it's always uncomfortable, I think no matter what, but it's necessary
Regan Fox: Oh yeah. What's something after this past year, working. What is something that you have spent the winter reflecting on what's a lesson that you learned?
Ashton: Aw, that's a really good question. I, [00:48:00] my, I think my biggest lesson is I am so go, go, go and have been in the last year of my life, was to the extreme of go, go, go. And so to have this winter of stillness, originally, at the start of it was extremely hard, but then I embraced it and kind of just leaned into it. And has been I had a therapy session last week and I was telling her about the whole winter 'cause I hadn't talked to her and I got so emotional about it and I was like, I never in my life thought I would find contentment and stillness. And I feel like with travel and with the jobs I do and all of this stuff, I'm always constantly chasing that adrenaline high.
And I can't find contentment in normal, everyday things. And I feel like this winter I finally for the first time. Maybe my whole life was able to find contentment in the mundane,
not that it was mundane, I still was snowboarding and doing yoga and took a pottery class and all of that, but in comparison to the life [00:49:00] I've lived with the last couple years, it is like such a slower pace of life and it was, I don't know.
I'm really grateful for that. I'm grateful for the reflection period that it provided for me, but that was a good question. Thank you. How about you?
Regan Fox: Honestly, probably the same, just being comfortable. Being comfortable. I feel like I've been so uncomfortable for so long, but having my own apartment and. Making coffee at home. That's good. And just yeah, finding those patterns that are pretty, you know, normal. but just a little bit abnormal for me.
not
Ashton: Yeah.
Well, they're not our normal.
Regan Fox: Right. Not my normal. seeing the value in a more traditional lifestyle. just being home and having a job that I go to every day and having a gym that I go to realizing the value of a schedule and a community and how a lot of people I think who live more [00:50:00] traditional lifestyles, this is just normal for them.
I think the fact that I have been away from that for so long, has really shown me the value of these normal things. and just. How important they are to making me feel like a regular human, making me feel like a person in society.
Ashton: Yeah. And sustainable. I think to find contentment in making a coffee in the morning and having the same gym. I don't think that happiness is necessarily the end goal of life, but I do think contentedness
is,
it's so funny 'cause the grass is always gonna be greener, always.
no matter what life you live, you're always gonna want the opposite of that. But to be able to find the appreciation for both lifestyles, I think is a really special thing that I'm grateful for. And it's funny that we both experienced that this winter
Uncertainty to Excitement
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Ashton: And I guess, to kind of round this out, you're going back to, guiding a little bit this summer, but you're in school and as we know, a plan is [00:51:00] never actually gonna go as you plan it,
but right now, what does the future look like for you?
Regan Fox: I think that I want to be a nurse
Ashton: Mm-hmm.
Regan Fox: question mark. so I'm finishing up some pre-reqs for that. But I think, I was saying earlier, a lot of these lessons that I have learned along the way about myself, have shown me, I love working with people. I love getting to talk to people.
I'm interested in science, I love science and I wanna do something with that, but I wanna do something a little bit more social. Something that has. A flexible schedule and lots of different options. there's tons of different careers that you can go into with nursing. there was one day, six months ago where it kind of just clicked in my head and I was like, wow, I've never considered that.
and it just makes a lot of sense. So I think that's the direction I'm going in right now.
Ashton: Yeah. As we know, it's probably gonna change or parts of it will change, but that's okay.
Regan Fox: And I could see myself [00:52:00] guiding here and there for forever. I don't know. We'll see who knows how, how
Ashton: Me too.
Regan Fox: that will work, but
Ashton: Yeah,
Regan Fox: definitely know as soon as I stop doing that, I'm gonna miss it so much and be like, oh my gosh, I miss the chaos. I miss,
Ashton: Yeah,
Regan Fox: you know, going to national parks every day and getting to explore with new people.
Ashton: Absolutely. Well, to finish out the episode I love to ask, what is one thing about these periods of uncertainty that you wanna celebrate what is a really good thing that it's brought into your life?
Regan Fox: I think these periods are totally necessary. obviously we've talked a lot about seasonal work, but I think for even people who are not in seasonal work are just in between, jobs or in between relationships
Ashton: Yeah.
Regan Fox: this time to, reflect and see what you want for the future and
Instead of allowing that to become fear and anxiety, using that to just be excited about what's to come. every time I feel like I'm in a [00:53:00] holding pattern, I take that anxiety, those what ifs and channel it into oh my gosh, this is so exciting.
The world is my oyster. I don't even know what's gonna happen, but I know it's gonna be good and I know it's gonna be an experience. a lot of times I'll verbalize that to my friends and be like, I'm so excited because something is gonna happen.
And of course everybody's you're crazy. what is gonna happen? And I'm like, I don't know, but something is gonna happen and I am so excited.
Ashton: I love that mindset because it's totally in your power of how you sit in these periods and such a big goal of mine, of these conversations is to hopefully help people get to that exact mindset that you just set. Because you can just sit in anxiety and fear and be like, what if, what if, what if?
And I have, I have sat in that anxiety and fear so many times, but if you can change it and it is in your power, you totally can change your mindset about it into the like, excitement of the unknown and whatever version of yourself is about to be born through this new [00:54:00] experience or whatever people you're gonna meet or whatever job you're gonna have.
can totally change that mindset. they say in therapy, anxiety feels the same in your body as excitement does. So
Regan Fox: that's totally true. Yeah.
Ashton: It's the same thing. I love that so much, so powerful. Thank you. And thank you for sharing your story and sitting for an hour and 20 minutes with me.
Regan Fox: Thank you for listening.
Ashton: I loved having you on and there will be a lot of powerful insights and takeaways from you shared today. So thank you so much for coming on. Loved
Regan Fox: thanks for having me. I've been loving listening. I can't wait to listen to the next episode that you put out.
Ashton: thanks. see you in a national park soon.
Ashton: