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Energetic Radio with Dale Sidebottom & Paul Campbell is a fantastic tool for people looking to bring fun play and happiness into each and every day. Listen along as Dale interviews world-renowned experts and shares his own experiences with you in this weekly podcast.
Welcome to the Energetic Radio Podcast. This episode is brought to you by
TheSchoolOfPlay, co hosted by Dale Sybottom and Paul
Campbell. Each week we'll bring to you tips, strategies and ideas on
how you can bring more joy and happiness into your life and those you share
it with. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to
energetic radio, episode 374.
We are notching our way to 400. It's been a couple of weeks, but it's
good to be back in the podcast studio with the one and only, the pleasure
Tre. Dale Sidebottom. How are you, buddy? I
didn't. I forgot I had this shirt on. That just came to you when I
read it. Oh, fair enough, dude. Bray thinks it's a bit inappropriate, but.
The pleasure, Treasure, I love it. Is that I've been saying, is it a new
one? No, no, no. I've probably just got too many clothes.
The man who hates shopping, but has so many clothes and shoes. It's not
funny. So many shorts. You know, there's this thing called online shopping. You don't actually
have to go to venues. I know. I hate it that much that before we
went to Singapore, I got deodorant and toothpaste delivered. No
joke. Before we left, you said to me, hey, mate, do you want any deodorant?
Toothpaste? What are you talking about? You had these boxes of, like, bulk order of
deodorants and toothpaste. I don't know anyone in the world who buys toothpaste in
bulk, mate. But you've done it online. It's like doomsday. Mate, this is a bunker.
If anything happens, mate, we won't smell red teeth. Be nice.
That is absolutely brilliant, mate. Welcome back. Good to be home. We've been
away for a little bit and it's been an insane fortnight. Obviously, to
our listeners out there, we apologize. We didn't get one released last week.
Safe to say we've been working our little backsides off and burning candles both
ends and spending a fair bit of time away from home. But it's been
an incredible two weeks and I want to reflect on
the two weeks. First and foremost. I'm not sure you can
remember what. I actually want to start with the very special kids. Oh, yeah. Remember
that. Remember that? Yeah. Because that. That one definitely can't be forgotten. And.
God, I cried. Yeah, I cried a few times. Yeah, yeah.
And. And that's actually going to link in so well with a bit of the
theme for today, the bit of the theme for this week's episode is it's just
going to get down the line of emotions a lot. And I wasn't
intentional that. When I was just putting my notes together before the, before the coming
in to record, I was like, holy, there's a lot here on Emotions.
And it kind. It's kind of quite fitting because we've both had a bit of
an emotional roller coaster, you know, the last couple of weeks.
But yeah, starting there, we did a workshop with an organization called Very Special
Kids with all their staff and paint the picture really quickly. Very Special Kids is
an organization in Melbourne that look after
kids in palliative care. So kids who are unfortunately
going to pass away and they support them. They
support them in the lead up to it. They support their families, their siblings,
they give them a home away from home. And the kids
that know they've got a condition that's going to lead to a, you know, to
an early, an early passing, they get to
go and spend time there for six months, 12 months, eight months, two years, whatever
it might be in the lead up. So it becomes that home away from home.
Well, they get to go there multiple times each year. Yes.
And they get to spend time. And there's only eight beds in the whole venue
and it is brand new. It is incredible. There's a pool there and they
got accommodation for parents. Yeah. So you can imagine how
hard it would be building that emotional connection with. And I know
not, not all of them die, but most of them do. Yeah. And
yeah, I didn't get the whole magnitude of where we're going. And
we read in the car on the way more about it and I was like,
so the general manager, Chrissy, I've done a lot of work for, in a
previous life and a job. And she reached out to me and said, these are
beautiful people. And I'm like, I'm sure they are. But then as we're reading on
the car and weigh in, we're both nearly crying. Yeah. Like, wow, this
is going to be incredible. And it was such amazing people, wasn't it? It was
an incred. A awesome staff to work with awesome human beings
brought a lot of energy. We had a great time. But it was the, it
was the conversations afterwards, throughout it, during it, afterwards, the tour that
really, I guess hit home with us as two parents with kids.
And it just, I'm gonna be honest with you, it completely,
like, it was, it was, it was an aha moment for me. Like, it's
changed. It changed my mindset and I know I did the same for you too.
But you know, talk about emotional and powerful and life
changing, it just changed my mindset, especially towards my kids.
And just to ease up, you know what I mean? Like, just be so incredibly
bloody grateful that my kids are well and happy and healthy and it doesn't
just ease up, you know what I mean? I'm not that an absolute wanker
idiot that goes nuts on them. I don't put pressure on them but
I definitely try to. I want what's best for them and I try to get
the most out of their potential and I reckon sometimes that can come through
a bit full on and yeah, it was awesome that you have those aha moments
and for me that was my aha moment to just enjoy your kids
a little bit, not more. But I don't know, ease up on them a bit.
Just enjoy the time with them and be bloody grateful. It doesn't matter if they
don't do something perfect. Let them be kids, mate. Let them be kids. Got to
learn, you know, who cares? They're not using the right technique, shooting a free throw
in the backyard in the basketball court. Who cares? Let it go. You know what
I mean? So. And they'll be fine. And it was. Yeah, it was just
an incredible sort of aha moment and a shift in mindset
but. And that's going to lead me to my first question without notice. I know
they make you a bit nervous. I don't want anything to do with business. All
right, question without notice. What's. What's another
moment that's changed you?
Oh, like kids. Yeah. Yeah. And I made funny. I
just. And I'll talk a little bit about this but I'll probably get emotional in
today because yeah they've made me realize
things that when you bit selfish like and you are
how much sometimes. And I've figured out recently that
people have always told me but yeah, I've probably got adhd which, you know, I
don't really care about that for myself but I'm trying to learn about it but
probably because Sunny Mould Us is a chip off the old block.
So I'm getting a little bit sad and upset because yeah,
I haven't been the best dad and not that I've been
trying. I spoke to a psychologist and
it's because the way my brain thinks too that
like I need things for me too. And I just, yeah,
I've been getting them like the. The time and the rest and a break and
yeah. So a moment, yeah that
yeah really started to try and figure out myself better.
So yeah, I Want to be a better person, but I want to be
the best dad I can be. And yeah, sorry, mate. Mate, you're
making me cry. Oh, jeepers. There are
tears flowing from both ends in the air. No, don't apologize. That's for sure. Thanks
for sharing. That's right. And I didn't mean intentionally to get the question. Go down
that pathway. Shouldn't have done a podcast straight after speaking to a
psychologist. 45 minutes about. Which is fine. I'm very happy to talk
about. And I want to tell people. But, yeah, coming. I know we'll talk
about Singapore, but coming back from Singapore and I didn't really sleep for a couple
of days and then we went into the hospital. Not the hospital, the doctors.
So sunny myself could sort of not get a diagnosis but start
talking about it. Yeah. And so young. I want
to do everything I can to be a better dad and understand it and
understand him. But also, yeah, I'm starting to learn things about myself
and the good that comes with it, but then also things that,
you know, I just, I. I've noticed patterns, but I
just never really associated why. So I know I've gone around your
question a long way, but yeah, that's okay.
Let's pivot for a second. Go that way. A, you should be incredibly proud
of yourself for doing the hard yards. Because for a
grown male in his 40s to, you know, go and see a psychologist
and be the driving force behind it and being proactive and go and see a
psych. Cause it gets a bit of a bad rap program. I think we're getting
better at it can be seen as taboo, which is. Oh, it's ridiculous. You know
what I mean? It's ridiculous. But your reasoning there and your
why is brilliant. Right? I want to be a better dad. I want to understand
myself better so I can be a better dad. I want to be a better
person. And the fact that you're man enough to put your hand
up and go, you know what? I need to fix me first so my family
home can be a more harmonious place and I can understand my son better and
support him better. And doesn't it suck that you've.
There's no doubt you've got it, mate. I knew that in the first 10 seconds
that I met you when I saw you on stage for the first time. Like,
mate, this guy's wired differently than he's offended. Know, it's funny. Every time I do
a talk, people go, if you got adhd, I go, I don't know. I don't
know, but that was like, insulting. But it's not. I've never taken
offense to it, but. Isn'T it crazy that only, what, 25 years
ago, 30, while you're at school, it wasn't picked up upon like it is
now? You know, we now know Sunny's five and yeah, we've already got a. Got
a handle on it, you know, like. And.
Yeah. But I've only figured out that from reading up how I
can be better to understand him. Yeah. I'm like, oh, I think.
Pretty sure. Tick the box. Tick the box. Tick the bo. Not. Poor kid. I
shouldn't say that, like, because there's so many upsides to it, but it's more probably
understanding how our brains work because they're wired differently.
So I think if I can understand myself better. Yeah.
And like, I. Some people get medicated and things like that, and
the therapist just asked me then, did you want to diagnose? There's probably
no point. I'm well aware that, you know, that this is what I've
got, like, and that's how my brain works. I don't want any. I
don't want any medication or anything because I love what it gives me, my energy,
my pizzazz for life. But I also want to understand
how I can. The areas that trigger me or that I'm not as good
with. That's what I want to. I want to try, not eliminate, but I want
to have coping strategies so I don't blow up or I don't lose
it or I get in a state of emotional distress and I.
I can't come back. And it takes me going. Having a beer or going
for a walk or something. And I'll be honest, I've been drinking way
too much because being so busy and then you come home and
that, like, literally there is no reprieve and it is mental and
that's been my escape. And I think, yeah,
looking in the mirror and after going to the doctors yesterday and things like that,
I'm like, you need to get better. And that's. That's not for anyone else,
but that's for me. First step, my man, it's the first step, that one foot
in front of the other and it's a bloody brave step. So take my head
off to you. Thanks, mate. And yeah, you know, the
ADHD does come with amazing parts which makes us thrive and, you
know, makes us who we are and our brand, those sorts of things. So please
don't ever lose that, but don't dare get
yourself medicated
but no, I. I'm looking forward to support you on this one, mate. And.
And I was just sitting there thinking then, like, not that I would not it'd
be cool if Sonny was a bit older, but the fact that you two are
going to do this little journey together. Yeah. It's a really cool thing. Right. And
I'm not sure how much you'll get that. I'm not sure how much you'll pick
up on that. The fact that dad and I are doing this together and I
don't know. What do you reckon he will? Well, I don't want to make it
like. I don't want to make it a thing, to be honest. Like, it's. This
is who we are and I don't want to make it like we're different. Yeah.
Because I don't think we are different. Everybody is different. And I don't. That's where,
like, I understand people need labels, but I think
labels can be used as a negative sometimes. And I don't want to make
this a thing about that. This is a negative. Yep. Because there
are so many amazing things he does and there's things that our brains don't allow
us to do as well as others in certain areas. And that's what we need
to get better at. And especially young people, when we start labeling them and they
are old enough to understand the label, they run with it. Yeah. Their little mind
can't handle it and they run with it. And it's not their fault. Like, they
shouldn't be. I don't think that should be a stigma. Yeah. Or
it should be a way as an excuse or something. It
just means that you need to do things differently. Yeah. And that's what we're doing.
And that's like Brie's been. Bree's been amazing with it
and it's probably been amazing with me over years because she's probably realized the way
I handle things or blow up or that, yeah, I've got
it. But yeah, now that, yeah, I probably should
have got better at it before, but it hadn't been affecting
my kids. Yeah. And I think that's where I'm like, nah, mate, you need
that. You're being selfish. You can, you can be a much better person. I
think that's just. Again, spoke to psychologists that I struggled for a long time
because we work with so many kids and people's adults, corporates,
whatever, on how to feel good and all these things you can do to improve
your mental, physical well being. But then I'd Come home and I've felt like a
failure for so long. Yeah. And it's because I haven't had
the toolkit to be able to deal with my own
mindset and what I need. But then how to transition that in to my
kids. They're both different in different ways. They're high energy. But,
yeah, one's obviously got adhd. I'm well aware of it. He's not diagnosed. But,
yeah, for me, that's been the catalyst of all
of it. But most of all. And this is where, yes, I want to do
it for Sunny. But now, the more I think about it, I want to do
this for me because I want to be better than what I am now.
And I know that in areas of my life that lets me down. And if
I can be better at that, it'll be amazing how that'll help
my relationship with my wife, my relationship with myself, and then
harmony at home. And when you get that right, everything else works. Yeah. Do
you know what else is going to help with your relationship with me? When I
rock up two minutes late and you get upset. I think. I think. And I'll
be honest, I blew up at you that time. I think because things are so
tense in the mornings at home and I'm like, with everything I've got going on.
In my life, don't add to it. I can still get here on time. And
then you make me sip. And 10 minutes, I'm like. I'm like, I've
had enough of this. So I did. I unloaded on you. And I think
I'm telling you the truth, mate. I was just like, this happens every time.
Notoriously late. I'm always early. But then I'd tick over in
my mind. I'm like, he's late again. And.
But that's in my head. The world still
spitted. I'm so relaxed, smelling the roses. It's all good. And
I'm like, man, if you only knew what I've got through the morning to get
here on time. And you're frigging late, so we're going
to a corporate golf day. And I just exploded. I still played good golf.
I did, but I. I'd held it in for a long time. And I'm like,
no, you need to know. Then the next time picked you up, you're early.
I was waiting at the front. Don't want that to happen. That's
awesome. But that saying, I think where. And we've done this a couple of times
now, having those honest conversations in the right way. Is very important.
So healthy. Probably I exploded and I was in the moment. But
I've spoke about it and we spoke about since. And I did similar thing to
you in Singapore because, again, I was pretty anxious about the
situation I was in, which is a weird one. I know you're talking about
that. I don't really want to, but. Yeah, like. And you've got to have
those conversations because if you don't. Yeah. They escalate. And
I'm going to be really, like, proud of how the way I hand. I didn't
speak on emotion. I mean, it's about emotions now. This is actually brilliant when this
is going. I didn't speak on emotion in that. I went and had a shower.
Yeah. Yeah. And it happened. I was like, oh, Stephen. And then I went and
had a shower and I just calmed myself and I. And I figured out the
right way to approach it. Never speak on emotion. Had a shower, came out and
was like, everyone come. Hey, mate, can that not happen again? And to your
credit, you're like, mate, we both had five minutes to calm down and you put
your hand up and you're like, completely understand. You know what I mean? It was
warranted. Yeah. It was handled really well. So as two mates, not business owners.
As two mates, you're right. I think we're doing really well at having
those open conversations with each other so it doesn't bubble over.
I'm just gonna sound really. I know I sound sexist here, but I think guys
can be a little bit better at that than. Than girls who are friends. I
know I've talked more about things that are way better at that. Yeah. But I
think sometimes when it comes to the really hard
awkward, that sometimes. Yeah, they're a bit worried about putting
noses at a joint. Right. Yeah. But so do males. Yeah. Because easier not to.
But then that end up affecting. It boils you over. So I reckon you just
got to have those conversations. And both times we've done it, we've been sore down
and said, well done. Yeah, 100%. And at the end, we both said, I love
you, mate. I love you, mate. We move on. Brilliant. Thanks for sharing notes
here that we're going to talk about. I got so many notes. We can get
through a fifth of these notes. We've already gone 16 minutes. We haven't even covered
any topics yet. That's brilliant. And then obviously, so we had
the. The very special kids. And I want to come back to that real quickly
because I want. If anyone's listening out there and you've got the ability to. To
donate. That is an awesome organization. If you do want to
support some sort of organization, a lot of people out there do have that charitable
mindset. Look it up. Very special kids. It's Melbourne based company
and mate, you're supporting an awesome, awesome cause. We're going to do
some pro bono work for them and support them during the holidays, during the school
holidays because it just clicked our heartstrings massively. And we're going to
support them as best we can with our time, energy and expertise. And
then we had Singapore, mate. We flew over to Singapore. We attended the phase
conference. 477 educators from 42 countries around the world.
Dale kicked off an epic keynote for the whole conference and then we ran
a series of workshops across the three days. Mate, what
a trip. Oh, it was incredible. It was one. So like on
a personal note, you know, I said and I might do a little post
about this. It's not blowing our trumpet, but one of the people. Nine years ago
when I went to Dubai, Nathan Horn was in the crowd with me and he
was one of the keynotes of the. I'd never been to a conference, let alone
speak at one. And he was on the keynotes. Like man, that's cool. I always
said to myself I'm gonna do that. And. And now I've nearly done. I've
done every. I've headlined every big PE conference around the world except
one in one in. There's one in China we want to do. Yeah. And
there's one you like through Europe. Yeah. Cool. But I don't know if
I. I don't know if I need to do that anymore. Maybe that might be
one for you. But yeah, to have 470 educators
for 42 countries in this one. Perfect. Like the auditorium
only hold 480 or something. So it was perfect.
And yeah, the energy was. Wasn't it cool? Not nothing to do with our
business or our performances or anything. What was the highlight for you?
Another question without notice. That wasn't even my run shape.
Probably pretty proud of like myself. Yeah,
yeah. From just where I came from and that I went to a conference, I
said I want to do that. You know you made it happen. Yeah. And yeah.
And yeah, to be able to say I've done it all over the world now
and, and like when you're up with me on that day, like I looked
at, I said this, this was incredible. Yeah, it was a cool feeling being on
stage. Many people, the energy was, was epic. They just did a really Good job.
When you get 42 countries coming to, like, educators from 42
countries coming together, the sense of community is unreal. And that's what
I really sat back a lot and looked at and went, man, how amazing is
the world when you've got so many cultural differences? But. And educators
and PE teachers are epic people. But, yeah, just the way
they all came together and the sense of community and the support and the sharing
of ideas and IP and knowledge and whatnot was just a
really incredible feeling. And I loved it because we. We
taught so many people so many amazing things, so we're going to impact
tens of thousands of kids around the world, which is epic. But we also took
a lot of learnings from it as well. And when you put yourself in that
situation, you're brave and you step out your comfort zone and you go and do
something completely wild like that, you always get so much back in return.
And there's definitely lessons that I put into practice in our business, but
there's so many lessons I want to put in practice with my kids. And I'll
share that one quickly. I did one with Hunter last night at soccer. So for
any parents out there with kids playing sport, H
gets a little bit nervous and doesn't give his all
something. He just reserves himself a little bit of a fear of making a mistake
or disappointing people. And we just picked little activity, sat down before training last night,
and I wrote them down, too. I just got him to write down three things
that make him nervous when he's playing soccer. And I write down three things that
make me nervous when I play footy. We share them with each other, and then
we screw up that bit of paper. We stand up and we throw it. Throw
it over your shoulder. And he wanted to go back and get it. And I
was like, no, no, no, no, no. It's gone. Leave it. And you want to
go and get it. I said, what do you want? He goes, I want to
put the bin. I'm like, no, no, no, it's gone. Doesn't even exist anymore. Which
is cute, because he was like, I want to put the bin. I'm like, no,
just let it go. Well done. And. And then I explained to him,
right, moving forward, if ever you look at me when you're on the soccer pitch,
I just make the gesture of throwing that imaginary paper over my shoulder.
That is your cue to know that. Just let it all go. It's gone now.
You know what I mean? Just enjoy the moment and look at how you can
impact the game and it bloody works straight away.
I told you last night, didn't I? Oh, man, I was so proud. I was
proud as a daddy because I did something cool with my kid. That was a
cool, very cool man. But I was proud of him because he's sitting there and
he was about to start a little drill and he looked at me with this
little smile on his face. And the little bloody legend threw that imaginary
thing over his shoulder in the middle of training and had his look. And then
he went and just crunched a tackle. Like crunched a kid
with a tackle and probably the best player in the team that never gets tackled.
And he just went and crunched him and won the ball. And then looked at
me and just gave him this thumbs up. And I was just like, oh, I
messaged my wife straight away. I go, Hunter just crunched Alex at a tackle.
Yeah, it was really cool to see his mind shift change. So little one for
parents out there. If you've got kids that play sports, a cool little activity, something
simple. And then it gives you a non verbal cue from the sideline so you
don't have to yell out. I'm trying to be a better parent in that style.
Not yelling out at my kids, you know, move, move, find space around to do
this. No more. I'm changing, I'm changing that good. And now I've just got a
nonverbal cue. I can just do that. And he knows what it means. But yeah,
some great lessons and learnings. We'll keep feeding them in across more
episodes. It was. And that's probably why we
had that alteration. I'll be honest, I was a little bit anxious because
you're sort of like the main speaker. And I don't know, I didn't
want to be sort of like, I'm gonna say a wanker before, but I said,
like, there'll be a lot of people that will come up and you don't know
where they're all from. But there was also a lot of people, I reckon
close to half the conference I would have either spoken to before
around the world or sort of met them or something like that. So then
also you've got to try and remember all their names. I'm pretty good with names,
but you still don't know. So for me personally,
so nice to hear people that. There's a couple that been to like a workshop
we've done in Hong Kong and then went in Dubai. And people, Kenya come every
time they bring me gifts, you know, so so many people that you've
impacted along the way. And that's where, like, I know you're starting to figure out
now how cool it is that you sit back every now and then. You're like,
oh, how amazing is that? The people have come because they want to know what
new stuff we've created because they loved a session I
did nine years ago when it was just all fitness games. There's no
messaging or anything behind it. And that was nice for people to say.
You can see the evolution that you've had and now obviously Paul, and the brand
around what you do now and the messaging and the impact it's having.
So things like that actually made me feel really proud that all those years ago
and trying something out, that it's evolved into something really powerful now. And
they still really enjoyed it back then, but now it's got so much more substance.
Yeah. So that. That was probably. Yeah, for me personally, I'm very proud.
A very bloody. A very funny observation we made in Singapore was.
Was the taxi drivers. I don't know
what it is over there, but they drive a different style. They cannot put their
foot. They've got itchy toes. They've got itchy toes, don't they? That's what we call
them. They just on. Off the accelerator
every second to maintain speed. We were
whiplash in the back of every taxi we got into and we were trying to
work out what it was because it wasn't just one of them, it was every
bloody one of them. And they all had hybrid vehicles, so we kind of think
maybe they're trying to charge batteries more, but, mate, they
just could not sit on a speed. It was very funny. Incredibly clean city.
Yes. I went for a run this morning back home in Australia and I saw
more rubbish in 17 minutes than I saw in 4 or 5 days
in Singapore on the floor. You know what I mean? Just $2,000 if you
litter. Yeah. The signs everywhere. They take pride in everything. Yeah. Everyone just
plays their part. And that's what I was talking to people like everyone just plays
a part and every single. Just puts their rubbish in the bin. And it's not
rocket science, but we can't. I don't know, we don't give a. Over here.
People don't have any pride like they do. And I think that's one
element of a lot of Asian culture is they are really proud people. Yeah.
I think a lot of people, you let themselves down, which, that's fine, good on
you. But that's why you go to a place like that and you're driving along
the freeway and there's roses and the roads are just perfectly
manicured. Drive along a freeway here, there's weeds nearly hitting your car and there's that
much rubbish. Like. Seriously. Yeah, Yep, yep,
gotcha. So talking about emotionals, right, because we've been a bit emotional
today. It's been great. Don't make me cry again. No, wait
twice already. Sorry, everyone. I was, I, I was doing some work around like
emotional education, how important it is for kids.
A lot of what we do is social, emotional learning. Right. And I learned something
really cool that's helped me as a parent. So I want to share it. This
is backed by, by, by neuroscience. So when
emotions are released, they release chemicals. Right? When we have emotions, they release chemicals. Those
chemicals are released for 90 seconds. All right? Now I always,
when my kid earlier would cry and for kind of no reason, the
tears aren't warranted. I used to think these tears aren't warranted, you know what I
mean? Like, and I used to try to control your tears. Control your tears
or let them for. Let them 90 seconds. So now I've changed my
mindset. I just, when they come around, they cry. I just cuddle them and I
just seem to say, I've gotcha, you're safe, I've gotcha. And I just whispered, whenever
you're ready, let me know what's happened if you want to talk about it. And
it's incredible how it's better for them. And I've noticed a shift in
them because they feel more comfortable running than me rather than being the dickhead dad
that's a bit stern going, tell them to stop. Yeah. Hey, stop crying. You don't
need to cry over that. Come on. You're harden up those sorts of things. So
I think as a dad, you try and think like you're teaching your kid to
be resilient in that moment. But they're actually being the resilient ones by
crying because they're letting it out. Whereas the older we get, we hold it in.
Yeah. And little I know that for the young kids especially, it's 90 seconds of
chemical release. So you've got to, you've got to write that out, isn't it? So
let them, let them for 90 seconds minimum. And the police
need to say anything. Yeah. I did similar this morning with Sonny. Just, I just
hugged him, I said, I love you. You let me know when you're ready. Yeah.
And if you think about it, a 90 second 2 minute hug is a long
hug. Yeah. So they'll end up Getting hot. We run hot.
Yeah. Some parents will think, you know, 30
seconds long, but 90 seconds, those chemicals have been released. So I just thought it
was really cool for. For parents to know. That's a good one. Yeah, it's awesome,
isn't it? And then the next one is like, the importance of teaching emotional education.
So I think it's still important to talk to them after the fact, once everything's
calmed down about, you know, understanding your emotions and
what, you know, where the tears are, it's okay, you know, put things in perspective
a little bit. And then something came up about, you know, why it's so
important to teach them young. Because it acts as a. Like when
they're older, it acts as addiction prevention, suicide prevention, divorce prevention,
friendship breakdown prevention, crime prevention. Because all those things are
generally linked to emotional dysregulation. Right. Not being able to really control your
emotions. I was like, man, that's really powerful. I've been doing some work with leadership
teams and, you know, there were some leaders in that, in the groups I've worked
with that can't control their emotions and they lose it and they
flip it in front of their peers or they. And that's not good for their
career. Or the kids for that. Adults do it.
That's because those adults, they're in their 40s or 50s. The ones I'm talking about,
they didn't have this emotional education when we were younger, but we do
now. So, yeah, parents and educators and stuff. It is so bloody important
to teach your kids emotional education. And it's for later in life
when it really comes in here. They're not going to get it now. They can't
control it now. Well, you're planting seeds. You're planting seeds. I think that's great, mate.
I think we might be able to bring out some more ideas like that. I
think we'll come up with. Well, you've probably notes,
I think. I think they're really important. They're not just for parents there, for anyone.
Because it's never too late to learn something new. And people
know the ones that can't lose that are serious. Like, there's a couple of teachers
at that conference that. The most competitive humans. How bad were
they? Horrendous. Yeah. And I sat back and a couple of people I knew quite
well and said, whoa. Yeah. And they didn't win. And they'd go and check the
scorecard of the other teams, even though it's just in a conference at a friendly.
Competition and it doesn't matter completely different that, that's great for kids,
but adults, we can always get better at that. Yeah. And we know a lot
of educators listening to us. But Sweden, so here's what Sweden.
See my research on this. So Sweden have been trialing a new method in
classrooms for dealing with poor behaviors. All right? Every,
every school, every teacher, one and all in, have done it. When a student
misbehaves, no yelling, no labeling, no
just moving their seats, whatever it is, they've got what they call
emotion regulation stations, all right? And they simply and calmly go
and ask the student, just really calmly, can you please go to the emotional regulation
station? And the kid just sits there in silence, not being
told what you've done wrong, any of that kind of stuff. And I guess
the point is the prompt is just have a think about your
emotions. Have a think about what you're currently feeling. Have a think about
what emotion led you to that behavioral thing? Was it boredom?
Were you frustrated? Those sorts of things. And just think about it. And when you
think you're ready to come back in, come back in and you can join the
class. Then after the class, they'll have a bit of a debrief about it
and teach them about their emotions. And this is the. There's less
fights, there's less conflict. The students are more aware of themselves.
They've learned how to control their emotions. They're now peer to peer teaching each
other around diffusing situations, those sorts of bits and pieces,
relationships between teachers and peers. Heaps better. And this
is a little comment that I love. We don't teach them to be good. We
teach them to notice when their emotions get the better of them. Oh.
Oh, wow. That's incredible. How good is that?
That is so good. You know, that's where we can learn so much from. Like
Finland. Finland and Sweden, those Nordic countries that are the happiest on earth. They are
happiest. Yeah. How simple is that? And I like one. That's
amazing. Yeah, but they don't start formal education until they're like eight or nine.
It's all just fun. Yeah. Just they don't do tests. Like, it's
pretty simple stuff, isn't it? We build stress, fear, anxiety, all this
pressure from an early age. For what? Yeah. Why? Who cares?
Yeah, who cares if you make Pythagoras a, whatever it is.
When are you using that again? I know. I'll tell you what, though, you'll be
using emotional regulation station the rest of your life. That's more important than
reading when you. Have kids, isn't it? But you could even like what a great
idea for at home. Yeah, that mate. That is exactly what I'm saying. I'm going
to try to improve. We've got a couple of different like tools that we use.
Yeah. Trying to make a special and it's not a negative. Make a special
space. Yeah. Because we've got a seat at our front and our front of our
house and if our kids crowd do something dumb, very, very seldomly
they do it. But sometimes. Oi. And we call it. Oh, you go the timeout.
Yeah. Go and sit in the thing. And even that notion of time out as
a negative connotation. Right. We want you time out from the family. Nah, instead man,
I'm going to relabel it, you know, the emotion regulation space and just focus on
your emotions. That got you there. Because there's always. Ah, mate, I'm going like.
I've got so many ideas. Have you? That is brilliant. Yes. Yep. That's really good.
Thanks, man. Yeah. And I think even it could be something that you.
Obviously when you're teaching, you can't just go with one kick. So you got the
class. But I'm personally thinking like, hey, let's, let's come.
Let's just control our emotions. Let's do something together. Take them away
and then talk about it. Get him out of the environment. That's causing those emotions.
Not carry them off like. Or drag them there like a. Currently. No, because that's
a negative. I don't want a negative. I want to make it a positive because
you're actually dealing with something in the right way. Yeah. Oh, that's great, isn't it?
And then you can talk about your. How your emotions account for how you handle
that situation. Gold. I'm going to use it too. I definitely wanted to share
it. It's awesome coming back to Singapore and some of the lessons we learned. We're
coming towards this up. But some alarming information.
Oh, you know, I think. Right. Oh, this was
sickening, to be honest. Oh, this is so sickening. So, ladies and gentlemen, the. For
the first time in history of records being kept in history,
any children under the age of eight are the first generation now who are going
to have a life expectancy younger than their parents. Five years.
Five years younger. So for the first time in history our life expectancy is always
increasing, but worldwide. And this is from the World Health Organization, not just two idiots
that wear play T shirts. The first time kids under
8 are going to have a lower life expectancy. The thing A kid who is
eight at the moment will have equivalent of one year of screen time.
Made me sick. Oh, I know, I know. A lot of these data were taken
from Asia. Yep. Like, because obviously I think it's. It's worse
there. That's where it's the highest. But I still think it's. It is pretty
everywhere. It is. So if you think about adults now. So you were
talking about kids 8. Think about how much time we have wasted
since screens come in. Imagine if everyone can walk around for time on
their head. Yeah. In years. Because it'd be multiple years. Well, I think most
adults average screen time is between three and four hours a day. Wow. Is it
on their phone? Yeah, on the phone. On the computer. Yeah, that's just on their
phone. But yeah, imagine on the. I mean, computer be work related, but just
phone. You know, it's. And you add that up very quickly. A year is going
to be added up pretty quickly. It is crazy, isn't it? And that other
stat, you know, they told us about how inmates. So inmates in prison
get more outside playtime than
kids nowadays. And I'm not talking at school, I'm talking when they get home
from school and the hours outside of school and over the weekend, the
average is like one point, you know, 1.2 hours or whatever it might be.
Whereas prisoners get two hours of outside play time a
day. And just all those things roll up into one.
Alarming that it's a roller coaster that's very hard to stop.
But. And we're going to keep bringing it up so that everyone keeps remembering being
intentional with getting those kids off the devices as much as you possibly can.
Yeah. And even, even when. And I know. Get them moving. We'll talk more about.
They've got to play outside. We do. Movement is medicine. We'll talk more about
our new good mate, Nick Haywood, because I think we've got
some pretty exciting things we're gonna hopefully do with him. But just simply each night
being intentional for one hour. Just put your phone in a drawer. Yeah. I
think that's the simplest thing ever because, you know, I don't look at it, but
it'll be on the bench because I'm playing music out of it. And when it
goes off, I'll look at it. It's taking my attention away. I'm not present.
Get it away. Yeah. And. And I. And put it in a drawer. And it
was great because I said to him, I said, mate, I'm gonna do that. And,
and what the best thing he said. To me, dude, I've just met. He goes,
yeah, great. He goes, send me the photo of the drawer you're gonna put it
in. And he goes. Cause I don't believe it. You know what I mean? Yeah.
And I will. Don't you know, Blake, I've just met. And I will send him
a photo of the drawer. It'll be the top drawer on my bedside table. And
it's not for the whole night. Just the first hour. When you walk in the
door for the first hour, put your phone in a drawer, and you watch what
it does to your parenting and your connection with your kids and your family. Cause
I'm the same. I'm trying to be good with not using it in front of
the kids. But it's on the kitchen bench, and you come across and it goes
off, and you. You just didn't. You open it up and you check it out,
and your kids see that, Right? So, yeah, that's another good little
nugget of gold, is for dads and mums and parents out there when you get
home from work, just for an hour, start there, put your phone
away in the drawer. Yep. Yeah. And see how it goes. I love that. Yeah,
that's awesome. But anyway, ladies and gentlemen, it is really, really good to be back
in the studio. It's good to be home on home soil. We've got a crazy
run into Christmas, but it is exciting. Someone told me today on a
meeting that there are only four Mondays left of the school year.
Where is this term gone? That is crazy. That means summer holidays are approaching
for families, which is nothing but good times and connection and memories.
So let's have an awesome run into that Christmas summer holiday period together. We can't
wait to get back in a regular time slot. But, yeah, enjoy the
weekend, everyone. Take care. See you guys.