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Payroll argument. A vision of doom. A shopping trip through Racky the Raccsaw's suspiciously permanent on-board general store. And in a new bomb bay, Baldrick quietly reveals the nuclear-grade alchemical device he has been building in secret. Sky-whales on the horizon.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition
Creators and Guests
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Host
Guest
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What is Rotgrind - Narrative Declaration?
Five adventurers try to survive in this comedy filled Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG campaign within the grim dark world of Tyne. Follow the show, get custom TTRPG content, and more at https://narrativedeclaration.com
You're funny, Grouch.
5,000 gold pieces.
Is radiation a cult?
I like you.
I'll eat you last.
Hey, guys, I made pozole.
By the way, why is there a bomb here?
The last thing you see is your mother.
Yeah, Veena's just going to bolt upright and just scream.
Welcome back, everyone, to another exciting episode of Rot-Groon!
I love playing Rot-Groon with my friend.
I love playing Rot-Groon.
So I have minus 9,939 health.
Nice.
I love that you did the math on that.
Well, you should see the other guy.
The other guy being his speaker, who is at full health.
You should see me.
You should always be looking at me.
No.
I'm beautiful.
Flash.
I'll just keep looking at my excellent exterior.
All right.
So...
Hi, everyone.
Welcome to another exciting episode of Rot-Groon.
Yay!
Hope everyone had a lovely time.
Remember, if you really like the show that we do here,
you can tell everybody all about us over just basically on the Grand Internet.
Just tell people that we exist and stuff like that.
Either on your forum, Discord, stuff like that.
Just be like, hey, if anyone's looking for an awesome Pathfinder 2nd Edition show with a bunch of goobers,
we hopefully recommend Rock Grind over to them.
And, of course, everything else that we do here at Narrative Declaration.
But, of course, if you love what we do, you really would help support things, pay all the artists, people, players, game masters, all this other stuff.
And make sure that the grand world does not collapse on top of us.
You can help us out at patreon.com forward slash Narrative Declaration or go to narrativedeclaration.com to find all the links about us there.
And, of course, we have an amazing adventure for us.
But there's some stuff that happened last time.
Oh, no.
What did we do last episode?
I volunteered accidentally to do the recap.
And so here's what we did.
We started off with a combat session that was a little bit of Rock Grind the Masquerade.
We fought some vampire wizards who loved casting haste.
They just really, really liked being fast, even when they're really hasty about it on them.
They're really quick.
And we managed to defeat them.
And then afterwards, we were making our grand escape when we encountered some errant vampire clown commandos.
And we decided that we would rather do anything but run into these clowns.
And so we made a daring escape.
And as we left, Baldrick tossed behind him a bomb into the very, very, very, very flammable underground black papacy cathedral.
And there was a poof.
And it sunk into the ground.
And Orin swooped by with our airship.
We got back on the airship.
And now we are continuing our journey and sailing away from the land of Golgotha.
And I, if I missed anything, no, I didn't.
It didn't happen anymore.
And we left Snot in charge.
Yes, we left Snot in charge.
The clown coming to garrot her and turn her into a football didn't happen.
That was a hallucination.
Brought on by inhaling exploded fumes.
Exactly.
Or was it?
It was.
That was a very solid recap.
Speaker, get a hero point.
Thank you so much.
I think I deserve this.
Yeah, I did it.
I did it just for you.
I did it just for you.
That is true.
You know what?
Speaker does deserve that hero point.
I'd like to thank the Academy of Veena.
You're welcome, Tanny.
Anything for you, man.
I'm putting all the resources and materials for me to just take.
What do they teach at Veena Academy?
They've got AP alcoholism.
Yeah.
Mixology.
That's an elective course.
They have armor penetrating alcoholism.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's there's a mandatory gymnastics time.
And then at the end of the day, they just fucking kill you and inflict you with rotten one.
That's awesome.
That sounds like my college.
That is true.
That is the college experience.
But of course, after you get drunk at Veena's college, Thurston.
Yeah.
Nice segue.
Good job.
You really nailed it there.
What adventures do you have for us today as we're now stunning across the sky on our airship?
Yeah.
Flying through the sky on your airship.
The open clouds ahead of you.
I am going to get each and every one of you to roll me a single D20.
Okay.
That's scary.
What do you mean by that?
We're going to die.
Choose to accept it.
Never mind.
I got a natural 20.
I got a natural 8.
I got a natural 7.
Oh, boy.
I got a rock.
Thank God.
Guys?
Guys?
Or I got an 8.
Guys?
We could...
If one of us got a 9, we could almost count up.
So...
The recap...
I know you guys announced, but just to recap here.
Odil got a 20.
Speaker got an 8.
Hulky got a 7.
I got an 8.
And Erdil got a 6.
We're going to die.
It was a great time playing rock-grind with you guys.
We're dropping...
We're losing altitude.
We're our best.
Veena?
Yeah?
Describe your room on the airship.
Oh.
Well, I rolled a 20.
So, of course, Veena is going to take the captain's quarters.
What else would she take?
And, you know, we didn't really have a ton of time to stop at the fantasy home goods.
But, you know, we did go to that convenience store in Golgotha.
And so, absolutely, I've picked up some weird knickknacks for my room.
But, generally, Veena has taken the captain's quarters.
There is probably, like, a little hammock bed that she has decked out with as many pillows
as she could manage to buy in Golgotha.
And a big fuzzy blanket.
Her coat and hat are hung up haphazardly on a nearby door.
Um, she's probably cleared out anything that was supposed to be Sandal Declan's.
Uh, and that has been thrown out the open window.
Which she does keep open, uh, for a nice breeze to come through.
Um, and, uh, there is a, uh, single wine bottle on the top of what appears to be, like,
a nice desk with maps scattered across it.
Uh, and the wine bottle is, at this point, half empty.
Knock, knock, knock.
Knock, knock, knock.
Oh, God!
Uh, that, that knocking sounded so far away.
I got scared.
I thought it was my door.
I think that's Noelle.
Noelle, huh?
Uh, yeah, Veena's gonna, uh, kinda meander over.
She'd been pouring over the maps.
Um, and kinda swing the door open.
Yellow.
Oh, and, uh, well, that is who, who, uh, Captain, uh, Miss, uh, Val, Veena, uh, yes.
Uh, standing in the door, fully armored, is Cronch Vlejbet, who has, uh, taken residence on the ship.
I, uh, uh...
Hey, bud?
Uh, hello, hello, I, uh, do you have a moment?
Of course, anything for you.
Take a seat.
Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
Well, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
Um, they drag in with them their tower shield, um, but you can tell that they're, like, awkwardly moving their tower shield.
Their, their, their, their war hammer that they wield is not with them.
Instead, they've got just the tower shield, but it's, like, they're awkwardly moving the tower shield with, with two hands.
Mm, mm, mm.
What'd you be for?
Thumb up?
Um, well, um, I suppose I need to discuss, um, okay, yes, yes, yes.
Uh, Crunch drops the tower shield, which drops with a distinct metal fud on wood, and behind it, um, at the, the backside, are five satchels.
That, as it lands, several gold coins spill out of them.
Uh, uh, so, you know, I've never really seen anybody use their tower shield as a purse, but I'm into it.
It's kind of a statement.
What?
Well, with all of the, um, well, you know, all, all of the events that were happening, and I was with the airship, along with Baldrick, but then Baldrick left.
Hmm, and then, then, then, then, then the, the, the old man left, but then, then, then the, oh, what's the, uh, the, the, the blotus came and, and returned.
Oh.
Said that they had to pay you for your, um, uh, time as, um, uh, interns, um, uh, or, or whatever it was that you, you were doing at the airship location.
Hmm.
Oh.
Wow.
That's what interns make nowadays?
I'm in the wrong line of business.
I counted, and, oh, hmm, I wasn't sure what to do with the information.
Hmm.
Uh, well, what, how much was it?
Uh, well, uh, uh, five thousand.
Ugh, five thousand?
We got five thousand for one day as interns?
Oh, man.
I, um, the, the, the bloat I do, um, very well, I suppose, it seems, um, but I, I, I, uh, well, I, I, since I wasn't, you know, there, I, I was wondering if, um, uh, you might be the best person to decide, um, how the workload worked out.
Oh, how the workload worked out.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
You evil bastard.
Oh.
You piece of shit.
Oh, no.
So, I'm divvying this out.
That's hilarious.
The rest of the group.
Uh, well, um, see, that's why I brought the, the five, the five sacks, and I, I did it evenly at first, but, oh, I just, I wasn't sure.
Um, have you read nothing?
Peter's gonna stroke her chin.
Please tell me, please tell me there's, like, this moment where, like, you subtly, quickly close the door.
Like, slam.
You know what, Crunch?
I will absolutely make sure that these bags get to the right place.
Oh, oh, oh, you're, you're, you're certain I can leave this with you?
Yes, positive.
All right, hmm, very good, very good.
Well, then, uh, Crunch stands up.
I, I shall leave this in your care, Captain.
I, I'm going to, uh, back to my smith, I think, and perform some of my duties.
Hmm, hmm.
Not to worry.
Uh, I will absolutely take care of this.
I'll make sure that this gets divvied out among the people.
Yes, awesome.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, Crunch, Crunch departs.
Uh, the camera follows Crunch.
Uh, Tanhauser and Oren, roll me a d20.
You got it.
It's between you two now.
Oren, roll the one.
Oh, I, I clicked twice, so we'll go with the first one,
which is 18, which is slightly higher than one.
You can't do worse than one.
Oof.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Uh, uh, Tanhauser, uh, you are, you are wandering the halls of the airship,
uh, performing some duty as Crunch passes by.
Oh, oh, oh, Mr. Tanhauser.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Oh, yes, Crunch.
How are you doing today?
Oh, oh, very good.
I was just on, um, um, um, um, um, um, how do I, um, um, um, um, uh, who, um, uh, uh, uh, an air, an errand.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
I was on an errand.
what sort of errand
yes well it was um um the erranding kind of erranding and um
what does that mean oh the captain oh the captain i gave her all of the coins from the
from the lotus for your work and she's going to divvy it up i wasn't sure who to talk to so i gave
it all to her tenhauser sighs why are you bothering me with this it couldn't possibly have been that
much haven't you read my literature oh um i i admit i've not had the time what do you mean you've not
had the time this was like the first thing i ever asked you to do i give everyone i give everyone
the brochure and i asked them to read about the revolution well there were the pictures and i read
those you don't read a picture you look at the picture i am oh oh oh crunch i just can't stay
mad at you for long oh oh well anyway i suppose i might as well go in and see how vena is handling
the payroll well she she might um she might want help counting the five thousand gold pieces is a lot
what's what what's so funny we worked for a day it's not as if they paid us five thousand gold pieces
oh oh oh perhaps i was offered my count maybe it was forty nine hundred give or take
wait a moment you're serious
hmm hold that thought tenhauser is going to run away then he's going to remember something then he's going to
come back and hold this too he's going to reach to his pocket pull out another brochure of his
literature and put it inside of crunch's face plate read that and then he's going to run off to vena's
room so the camera continues to follow crunch as tenhauser runs off oh how do i get this out
from this cat it's really dark it's hard to see and oh why do i get this slits
clunk clunk clunk crunch um walks up to the to the main deck of the airship
um oran is on the main deck
sees crunch stride up with a piece of paper coming out of the isolate of his armor
oh he just prints it out
he comes out of his visor
hi crunch oran's hanging out with wargamonger on the on the deck as they're just kind of enjoying
the wind and he's kind of like it's kind of like and that cloud's about to do is about the rain and
that cloud's about to destroy that entire village with a thunder
you don't fuck we're in the middle of a hurricane or something no we're just like we're in between storms
yay of course of course we're flying directly into them we're causing them yeah he's teaching
gorgamonger it's like that's what those clouds are going to do and those clouds and those
oh are we going to um um die in a storm oh that would be tragic i don't want to die oh no
it's like thank you thanks to me being able to smell the clouds pretty good i've been able to direct
us in between all the storms oh well that's so oh well that's good you know we have some smart
people aboard like yourself that's the first time anyone said that to me
well what no no no no master oran you're you're a spry intelligent young lad you're going to have
the entire world at your beck and call in the future really mr crunch oh oh yes oh yes yes yes yes i know
these things i said when you're a smith you you have to take the long approach that's why when i
counted those 5 000 gold pieces oh i took the long time to do it wow that sounds like a bunch of money
mr crotch is that all the money you got from smithing oh no no no no that that was that was the the money
blotus uh gave you uh i mean well well gave to the group for your your your efforts the the airship
port the captain is sorting it out right now and tannhauser went to go double check oh that's super cool
wow well they're the two people i wouldn't trust with all that money i wouldn't know what to do with it
yeah but what would i do do you have nothing you'd want to do to use it on to spend it on no not really
i have all my friends and gorgamonger he pats gorgamonger you mother
i don't know if this were some altruistic society a deity might just reach down and give you a hero
point for that oh look it happens oh wow the hero plate wow that goes away for you uh thurston i'd like
to um use a hero point to make you describe you actually giving a hero point to oren in the scene
sure sure sure sure it's like his hand emerges from the clouds there's like a there's like a super mario s
rotating coin on it it's just like my skull face and on the other side there's just like a sad face on it
i i i'm imagining like the monty python god and like emerging from the clouds
mario rpg like uh like stars coming down sound effect
it's like or oran raises his hands like wow thanks god
but i'm certain things will go well for you
yeah i have a check in them in a while smith oh oh yes you should you should you should tad
houses seem quite quite well yeah i'll take to see how they're doing
um as as uh oran and gorgamonger leave the camera still stays on crunch uh rahua you've been uh on
the deck the entire time crunch turns oh i didn't see you there uh master master rahua i've been here the
entire time i don't really blend in that well at least my quality of wood is a bit different than
the deck what's all that about crunch well could you help get this out from my eye oh sure
shoves his hand in right through the slit probably uncomfortably close to crunches eyes and like just
oh my mistake then who shoves it back in no no no no wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait
like like like steps back no no no it goes right back in
i'm not i'm not good at politics
you don't need to be good at politics to read i'm sure it's just a oh this is a tannhauser pamphlet yeah
okay and everyone just pulls it back out that's awesome throws it away
okay i want to spend a hero point
it's got it's got to beat the hero point i'm about to spend
i want that pamphlet to land on the society down below thank you
and i want that i wanted to i want that to happen or something involving that happen with us in the
future they have to know oh yeah it's gonna like like it's gonna land in like you know the the like
banded kingdoms of redmond like some like farmhand like that's the place where like picturn was from
some farmhand's gonna pick it up and be like i could really enact some change with these ideas
that tyrant's really gonna get what's coming to him i think whoever that might be
i think i think i think maw keeps the blunderbuss in the back of the barn
i should invent a new enemy well as it happens the only thing i have to lose is my chains
exactly exactly that's the type of pressure that we just figured out that we're in
let's go let's kill the government yippee
mom i gotta walk 400 000 miles to the nearest government i'll see you next year
this is the rock grind equivalent of kids with bikes
oh my god
right like
god okay yeah yeah perfect perfect use of a hero point absolutely that's what happens all right
right all right oh but yes it's just not uh not good politics i i i spend all my time crafting things
no
yes but what's the problem then do you need to learn how to read are you illiterate crunch
what no no no no no no i just the the the ideas i mean everything's so simple
temple metal all that but but but but revolution i just i don't understand
where do you start that's the exact moment the child gets the pamphlet below
cinematic timing on that dramatic stinger cut to commercial
what do you think of these things
what do i think of those things well oh crunch it's in the nature of all things to change in due
time the wheels of fate must always be turning such is the nature of entropy and anarchy it's the underlying
principle of all things sure kingdoms may rise and fall and whether that's peacefully or fire in
brimstone is beyond the question so long as that cycle continues to endure
that went above my head look if what i'm saying in simple terms is if you are presented with the
opportunity to overthrow the current status quo to keep the world fresh to keep let the flowers grow
you must occasionally make the soil aren't you four years old yes as of this campaign running for
four years yes he's very erudite oh oh i i don't understand
kill people burn shit fuck school is that simple enough for you to learn
that's when baldrick walks on the deck oh i was hoping that i wouldn't be on the deck actually i have a
i have a place where i'm i'm having baldrick be oh it's baldrick okay okay crunch will walk away
without responding to rahula just stroking the metal chin blade hmm walks down there was nothing all about
that crunch that was it hmm is you know what you were getting into inside yeah uh thirst and may i
describe where baldrick is yes and the changes he has been making to the airship yes in order to facilitate
something if you're okay with it of course i would happily yeah please please go go there is a no
you've been away a few sessions you get a free hero point to redecorate because you were away for a few
sessions terrific yay there was a large uh section of the ship towards the very bottom of it that had
been emptied out with the help of a couple other people who were about namely crunch and whoever else
baldrick could rouse for it and of course using crunch's deft ability at remodeling walls which he is so
fond of doing uh a large portion of the underbelly of the ship had been gutted and a large mechanism
placed there to turn it into a bomb bay there is a single large thing strapped to the inside of the ship
that being uh something that has been covered with a very large tarp in addition baldrick has turned this
area into wherever he's sleeping and an alchemy lab it is also very drafty because the bomb bay is not
light sealed so he is fine being here so that is where he is
oh crunch wanders in still stroking the metal chin
clearly in some sort of debate not even knowing where they're walking
uh baldrick reaches a handout to grab crunch's arm to stop him from walking directly into the bomb bay
doors crunch oh oh oh i'm sorry mr baldrick i i talked to who uh okay were you going to just kill
yourself or something so well i was thinking of things from um tanhauser gave me a pamphlet then i
talked to rahua hmm hmm so you talked to tanhauser he gave you one of his millions of pamphlets that
he seems to conjure out of his ass then you talked to rahua and then you walked three flights of stairs
down walked through the bomb bay doors or walked through the door to the bomb bay and were about
to walk over the bomb bay door railing
yes that sounds about right okay so what are you thinking about well
i still don't understand politics
not much to understand about it what are you trying to figure out well the pamphlet which is gone now
i'm going to level with you crunch i don't know what tanhauser's politics are beyond revolution
i don't see much beyond that i understand like of the people for the people etc that doesn't that's not
i i don't know what to say about that in this present situation if you want to think on that
think on that but you want to my two cents on that just
i i think this is why you're worthy of the five thousand gold pieces and i'm not
what oh oh oh blotis uh gave gave you five thousand gold pieces to divide amongst yourselves
uh uh captain captain vena was sorting that out right now oh that's what the shopkeep was going on
about all right uh whatever let her have it i don't really care i got a few more adjustments to
make to this thing here oh what what what is it well i'm not sure if you've been aware of this at all
crotch because i technically didn't let you in to my actual workshop part of my home you know when you
were knocking down walls in my house well to to be fair i was being very respectful of it and it
wasn't my idea i'm aware it wasn't your idea you were doing it at the behest of other people you were
knocking down walls in my home at someone else's best i'm beyond caring about that right now my point is
this you didn't get to see this and that's fine it's a surprise and hopefully one we can make good
use of later right now it's not finished it doesn't have quite the yield i'm looking for it's a little
unfinished i'm actually missing baldrick will pull out a little flipbook notepad and begin
skimming over some of his notes uh cause catalyst
reactive reagent pectrine uh
no i'm uh i'll deal with that later it's nothing for you to be concerned about
point is don't touch it and don't take the tarp off it because the contents inside are somewhat reactive
to light hmm it's not going to work what won't oh seeing the metal there there and there you need
to reinforce it probably with a laid steel perhaps i mean well certainly steel is laid into itself but
like a special coating if you've got some correct you know i could i could probably make the curves i
just need to get the dimensions at present it's very unfinished i'm kind of surprised that you have
some input on this but i'll accept it nonetheless that being said i'm still i had to rush this a fair
bit the events of the past few months have been uh shall we say not kind to the creative process i was
ideally hoping to build this over the course over you know a few years i didn't get that time
well well if you ever need some assistance especially in reinforcing it i think i could be of
assistance by all means i need a non-reactive yes yes i think if we we stopped and received metal
possibly from earth in sepulcher to utilize some of the rarer metals found out there then if i to
take them to a forge perhaps crotch i tell you what why don't you suppose this why don't you suppose
use this back up on deck so i can work on this and also if veena hoards all the money i i'll let you
know but it's it's fine you're good all right all right uh he turns and crunch begins to to wander off
baldrick will see him off through the door and then he will shut the door that leads out into the
hallway leading to the bomb bay and he will he will activate the other very important thing
thurston that you may have already assumed that he does to ensure the safety and security
of this room he shoves a door under he shoves a chair under the door handle yeah
all right back to work we cut we we cut back to to to veena's captain's office who has all decided to go
pay veena a visit after hearing about the money tan hauser orange there then hang out with people
he just wants to be included yeah did rahua just wander in after crunch left
okay okay oh my god he's dead he went he's doing his daylies again he's doing his daylies again
i was talking the whole time he doesn't know his crotch never told him he just saw what went out like
him talking to tanhauser and tanhauser shoved a pamphlet in his visor brua has no idea about the money
it's true he's just hanging out on top of the deck he's just looking at birds
and you know baldrick has shut himself in the bomb bay so it's down to
oran tanhauser and veena to talk about money money the money money so tanhauser uh okay no no no no no
veena veena veena tell me i assume tanhauser and oran come in roughly the same time uh just to see you
divvy how does you divvying up the money look as they enter okay so crunch already gave it to me in
five bags right yes yes okay veena is probably in the middle of dumping out one of the five bags to ensure
that there is exactly a thousand gold pieces in there uh and as she's currently shuffling through
that the other ones are like set up on the desk uh and her head kind of pops up as tanhauser walks
in just hey tanny we got money oh really how much of it uh allegedly it's five thousand gold oh my god
you told the truth well yeah i imagine what i imagine is going to happen is that all of this
money is going to go into a pool and then those of us who need to use it for say weapon upgrades for
say maybe a new gun a fancy new sword maybe some fancy new armor and then whatever's left over can stay
in the pool all right okay all right look i gotta be honest with you the entire time i was coming
over here i was working myself up into getting more and more angry because i was assuming that you were
going to try to deceive me and i'm lowball how much money blotus gave us and so i was sort of i spent i
was kind of spending a lot of time getting mad at you but then you you didn't you weren't you're very
straight up and based and nice and now i i don't know i just feel bad am i a good person am i a bad
person oh why oh it's okay i know what'll make you feel better what well we can agree to let me spend
two thousand two thousand gold on upgrades that sounds like a good idea you should spend as much
money as you want i just feel so bad
i'm seriously waiting for you to be like just oh don't worry tan hauser like i would never split the
five hundred gold on it i couldn't play or something
it's okay i'm pocketing it
yeah that's what happens i'll get rid of all the gold in my inventory now suspicious suspiciously
money-shaped vena
don't know where the five thousand gold went
five thousand gold coins like well remember we also had like a whole bunch of money that we stashed
away and a whole bunch of items so exactly so i'm thinking we pull it all up and we determine
how to spend it based upon individual need and uh my individual need uh happens to be um
well rather expensive but what you gonna get it's nihilism both well oh i was thinking maybe you know
i haven't upgraded my sword in a hot minute and so maybe getting a little more of that for me would
be quite nice maybe a little extra armor and you know ever since i gave those guns back away to the
hegemen i've really been wanting a little more firepower you know something for range because people
keep running away from me and well i can only hit them with my sword or my pea shooter
you know it's a shame we just came from gold gotha and we didn't wind up uh you know uh taking any of
the guns i just had the greatest realization too what oh man oh man i'm like this is like a
fucking danger close question like i'm gonna i'm gonna ask this and it's like oh yeah so uh
uh so where are you where's the airship going right now that way it's like
nobody's at the wheel you know you just like cut out for all that oh no in my on my end so that that
made it better it's just like oh no oh is my internet uh crapping out did anybody don't worry
about anybody else yeah sure goes on you got it okay oh well if i cut up for y'all i'll repeat
myself but no we're going in circles and uh um whatever so okay uh yeah vina has been um so now
that we have 5 000 gold pieces where are we going next where are we going next vina has been pouring
over the vina has been pouring over the maps and trying to figure out kind of what direction is uh
best for us to kind of minimize the travel time uh if we will either go to the fajal mountains or uh
over to andazia where we know that the protection of earth and air retrospect respectively are
that's a good question um so yeah if some form of piloting or sky piratey lore yeah i've got airship
lore i've got airship lore oh my god give me an airship lore oh my god i forgot to rename it we
decided the plane of air was my airship you have a png of the map you have you have the world map ready
thurston or no uh not for not for this side okay vina are you missing any languages at present that
you'd like to tell us about anyway there's only one language worth learning dinosaur shut up why am i
frightened i don't know maybe you should take that out of the character sheet i mean i'm looking for
every time thurston
it's not going away
i'm just so scared i'm so scared all the time one sec i'm gonna
crick let me open your character i'm starting to think you're sick of me
uh oh wait i guess i could hit the long rest and see if that does it
did that clear it okay i've i cleared it manually okay for you for me
now i'm going into ruhuas all that ruhu had is quick and i've removed quick
always best as fuck uh anyway yeah i will give you a 26 then
okay yeah um that is enough for you to plot a course
um as you've been as you pour over the maps i assume like this is coming up as you're like
talking to tan hauser um and and oran um and as you are pouring over these these maps and sort of
showing your companions what is uh like what what directions you could go areas you know ways of
approaching it um you collapse
oh damn it my guilt from taking tan hauser's gold and as you collapse
you find yourself
on the deck of this ship in the sky though the sky itself has a
strange dark gray timbre to it and it's not clouds it's as though everything is but
monochromatically huge there's something wrong about the deck of the ship that you're on as you
look around something seems off it's as though the wood is squishy
there's something up ahead where the airship is moving towards albeit at a glacial pace it's like some
pulsing black mass in the sky that beats with a rhythmic heartbeat and at each beat there's a crackle of
lightning inside of it
oh
shit
i i'm going to walk up on the squishy deck i do not want to imagine what that sounds like
um
thank you for the foley yeah thank you thank you um she's going to kind of lean up against the railing
just kind of getting as close to it as she can and is this uh is this the uh
uh the uh source of the protection of air
is that something i can determine
you're you're yeah you're looking at it you're trying to and as you are you were you were peering
something pierces you from behind in your back through your spine you can feel it as though it
were in slow motion but you're unable to act
oh
shit
yeah veena collapsing is going to kind of
you said the shot was to my spine can i feel my legs
no in fact you don't feel much of anything as you your body seems to be marionetted falling out as
those strings have been cut you you kind of have you can tell your body's in a strange pose looking up
as the ship comes under this pulsing black mass um it and and in the last moment before the light fades
you the last thing you see
is your mother
and then you wake up uh in a similar pose on the on the uh floor of your cabin
yeah veena's just going to sit bolt upright and just scream just like full-bodied like
just terror um as as she comes to as the idea of losing her her her freedom in any regard the
freedom to move uh is something that is a a deep deep terror of hers uh and as she kind of sits up like
dabbing at the sweat on her forehead just
i'm gonna lean casually on the desk
um so as i was saying uh about the gold
um hey yeah what what was that
he's gonna uh does anyone else come into the screaming sound i'll leave that up to baldrick and rahua
baldrick is too far away to hear it i think over the din of everything else he probably can't even react
would rahua have been able to hear that the wind rushing above on the top deck
yes
rahua will make his way downwards uh i'm gonna just do myself a little solo here and
did you make that sound he's turning into an insect you know it's it's a sinking noise
yeah his mandibles are clacking yeah
yeah yeah we're all bug people by thurston
uh-huh heads or tails
okay uh it's yeah yeah yeah that's picture
those below deck might hear a sickening crunching of wood
as from above rahua is tunneling his way through the deck
oh my god this was in fact the quickest way to get here
comes through the ceiling there was no more efficient way to do this guys
rahua just comes crashing in
oh great sound effect great sound effect oh i came as fast as i could
oh i'm gonna peer out is is there just like a full hole like in my ceiling up into the deck
oh 100 percent well you installed the skylight how thoughtful yeah you know i really thought that
it needed kind of a mood are you okay are you fine i heard your scream yeah yeah no
totally sure no you're not i got you feel better juice and or like rushes up and it's like a like a
tall bottle of wine
vena just thanks she's gonna like pull a cork out with her teeth take a long swig
um i think i know where we need to go
what happened and it was
uh answer i was trying to avoid for a little bit um i
well i woke up on the deck of
a ship i don't think it was this one it i think it was alive it was squishy it was storming and i saw
i saw i saw papa storm's power in front of me and as i went to
as i went to get closer something shot me in the back i couldn't feel anything anymore um
i turned around and i saw
my mom
and then i woke up again
so
i think that is the subtle way for the old powers to tell us that they're waiting on us in
and asia back home
oh good good good good god there's everything oh oh oh oh oh
there's a sky
hey crunch
oh good
yeah yeah uh very graciously installed that
i'm glad to fix this would take me a while to fix all the wood
man but i mean crutches crutches there he could probably fix it
it's okay vena it's like we're here with you and that's our next destination link we'll be able
to face it together right everybody and oren walks with the rest of the party who's here
of course together we just took a heavily fortified compound being led by a degenerate
dystopian general i have no doubts that we can finesse your way through the sky pirates of your birth
together we are unstoppable
maybe
yeah
until you know my friend
sorry you guys go in
i i have no idea what's waiting there for us and
this will be the first time i have to show my mug to my mom after everything that happened
i wouldn't be surprised if she shot me in the back
well unlike last time you have a loyal crew behind you and if she makes a move to shoot you in the
back you don't want to see what her front is going to look like
i appreciate the sentiment danny i'd prefer it not come to that
uh right perhaps i'm not the best for parental issues but still
you have nothing to fear from your mother
maybe
well
one thing i never knew miss vena
is uh
very much where you came from really
were you like born on a ship and then you just stayed on this ship or like
you come from somewhere else or
is that darsia a ship
no and darsia is a country to the south of prodoma kind of right up against the southern tip
um
uh i come from the city of uh aesa the capital it's where
uh it's where my people have mostly fled to the southern tip is um
well most of the coasts there are completely overtaken by the rot
but my people were pushed further and further up into the mountains and so i was born
kind of uh halfway into the sky already
and um i mean aesa
uh it's a it's a shithole but it's home it's
so long as you're one of her people aesa will always be home
if you're not one of her people aesa is probably the um
worst place to vacation
you know make it about 10 steps in before at least three people try to take you for everything you have
um i wasn't born on an airship or anything um in fact the airship
belongs to my mother our one singular airship
it's kind of a big deal to pilot it
and uh
only the uh
most respected captain of all of our different crews has that
privilege
pretty sure i've said this before
um but i mean i i don't think you guys have anything to fear in aesa i mean you guys can stand up for
yourselves and
most people probably go scuttling off into the shadows if you buck up to them
yeah at least you have you with us as well
we'll see how far that gets us
my mom's got clout or at least she did
but uh me not so much
well you know what i always say
the elixir tan hazard what do you always say revolution yeah that
is agitation
and the disestablishment of unjust hierarchy
if needest be these criminal elements will serve just as fine an example as any reactionary element
but we need you to guide us
you might want to lay off the drink
that's probably a good idea
i'll hand him the wine bottle
but uh you will be pleased to know that the governance is not as organized as one might think
uh in fact there really isn't an organized government
you kind of browbeat your way to importance there's a council
loose one the visconda
um and they uh are pretty much just all of the important crews
um either by sky or by sea
those of us who are brave enough to uh sail into the rotten fasted ocean
well you'll make a big splash with your own airship
as you guys are like discussing this baldrick then happens past the door to hear every single
person in the ship crammed into vena's room and he'll just linger at the doorframe wondering what you guys are doing in here
hey baldrick what the hell are you all doing in this room
i made a hall i could see that
it's beautiful we're going to vena's homeland that's right stop okay
this uh discussion on what's the plan for this or
yeah uh more or less i've got the sense that that'll have to be our next destination
all right guess i'm in on this then oops one side one side one side
oh baldrick's just going to come in his closest
it's most direct in our route to hit all of the places of power so
um i was hoping we'd kind of do it last or not at all
um i mean not doing it at all would be kind of a short-sighted decision
kind of has to be done doesn't it
yeah it does
but
i'm sure it'll make more sense when we get there
i just
need a second get my head screwed on straight
ah well whenever you're ready we'll be here
thanks oh and uh baldrick we got five thousand gold i heard oh yeah five thousand gold
yeah for uh i trusted you to hold on to it i'm not going to go over here
relieving it from your hands or whatever that's pretty good great so i get first dibs on the weapon
upgrade thank you very much for your permission baldrick yeah uh i listen and he's going to reach
onto his back holster and retrieve the bomb launcher and he's going to just do the break
action thing and you know clean out the barrel a little bit i got what i wanted for now unless you
can find a larger artillery piece than this then this will be fine for now you may actually find one
once we get to ayes huh yeah but it's not one that i can hold probably that is true there's
artillery there but i don't think it's anything quite as sophisticated i am not an ordinance expert
i merely want what is best to keep me out of range
i'm sure we can get some of that
that being said what did you say about getting your head screwed on straight have you been
drinking too much or not enough whichever one is worse for you
both are bad no i uh was blessed with a little bit of a vision from papa storm
that old thing again huh yeah
guess we uh each get a little visit huh
baldrick just sniffs loudly well gods want to give you guys visions by all means
imagine you're the four of you are far more interesting to give visions to than me anyway
baldrick you're plenty interesting for visions you're made for visions
maybe one day you'll see a portent of all of our dooms
no me and the gods have never been on uh particularly good terms
at this point i'm just kind of not believing in them out of spite
give me a perception check i will give you a perception check
a 33
okay um
as as as this conversation is going on you look up uh from the hole you you left in the ceiling to arrive
something stares back at you from the hole
a raccoon like face why are you no
we aren't even near a fast food restaurant
not yet but soon how did he get up here we're literally like a thousand feet in the air
does anybody else see him oh yeah as soon as you point about i think everyone would see the
raccoon face points about him he's a fame monster lena like he could be wherever he wants to be
i take offense to that i'm not a monster i'm your best friend some of my best friends are monsters
i like you i'll eat you last yep you got it man
i don't give you a lot of time to escape baldrick because most of me is not digestible
that is true we'll take him a long time to chew on tannhauser are you guys just going to give up
and let him eat you no i i'm just assuming that bad you know just in case but the describe the
the scene to make some of it confused is is rahua still in the hole and then now the raccoon's in
there with him no no we're we are on the lower deck with with vena and we're looking through the hole
and the okay side deck i was thinking who was in the hole the entire time okay no no no
okay he minecraft dug down to meet us no correction he fell through the hole okay
or has his staff and he's like go away he's like like just like banging on with his staff like
like off no all right oh oh oh no can i make a suggestion oh okay okay all right bye
why hold on what's your suggestion
is it substances he's already been pushed away by by or are you sure are you sure you want me to come
back why do you want to talk to him just say your piece just say your piece why does he want to
why do you want to talk to me you want to talk to me you want me to come back
oh wow thank you his face like looms massively in the hole i just needed the invitation he like begins
to crawl through the hole um using his forearms to like slither on down as he thumps onto the deck
it's getting crowded
you got a nice room here this place sucks and you suck best friend raccoon i'm gonna go make some
pozole and then tannhauser's gonna go and uh move to the kitchen and make pozole so there's more room
and he stands up this this guy's like this guy's like an easy 10 feet tall when when fully standing
so he's he's being above he's kind of hitting the the the ceiling height of this room then
yeah he's a little scrunched
so
what's up man well you invited me so i'm gonna go get a room now i'll tell you my piece after that
i told you not to speak to them that was never said
oh i think you did you said i could tell you my please and i'm going to i got a room picked
out at the end of the hall already he starts to move past towards the door
vena do you understand how the fey operate i literally just told him he can speak his piece
there was nothing about staying you no no no you don't have to give him explicit permission to do
anything if you invite him to do something he will extrapolate that into the most annoying
byzantine understanding of the word which is to say hey i want you to come in and tell me oh you
want me to come in you want me to enter your house and make myself plain here that's how the
fey work you can't let him in if you don't want him in you can't let him in but he's here now twist
every bit of your meaning that's why we hit him with sticks well if we uh if we get attacked by a sky
crew on the way at the very least we know that um one person is going to make us a very very
very unappealing target okay i'm ready
all right yeah
he shouts are we gonna follow him he's he's he's taken some storage room at the end of the hall
he's just like crunched up in some boxes he's gonna walk out and go to the door since we're
already hearing what he has to say but he's going to keep that bomb launcher handy
actually i'm going to preemptively load it with a fire bottle
okay we're about the rest of you
following along uh they hit him with more yeah i'll putter a wrong yeah
oh no no no don't hit him with the stick that'll just make him angry he's already here
true
as you come you come to the end the door the door is closed the door to the storage locker is closed
i knock on the door oh come on in
i'm gonna open the door there's a fully furnished general store inside he sits behind on a desk
looking up at you welcome to my store what the fuck huh see bodrick is just a humble merchant
i had a suggestion you want to hear what i see and what i have to say is deals deals deals
it's not gonna be a good kill if you come in unprepared uh-huh oh you know what just accepting
just accepting money now of course do you have a money can be exchanged for goods and services
yeah do you have a rewards program
no nothing like that well man by the logic of if we need to be well equipped then it's better for
the kill and you're insinuating us being best equipped for you to kill then wouldn't you want
us to get all the best stuff you have for free oh don't try to metagame this little child i'll take
your hero points away from you i'm just speaking in facts and logic
the raccoon the raccoon the raccoon the raccoon the racksaw's hand goes into your chest
you're really pulling out your hero point and he eats it like a fucking apple
it's the same coin that the hand of god gave you earlier the beacon sport about it i'm taking my hero
a point away
it's tasty i don't come from a realm of facts and logic friend orin he's a fey we just went over this
yeah but fey run a lot logical fallacies yeah logical fallacies that's not
i love that though they low they run on logical fallacies yeah the fallacy part of it the part
that renders it not logic
oh troll logic he's going to get himself on a chair and pull it up by the sides flying into heaven
that's a good idea welcome though there's a level scaling system you could purchase anything equal
to your level plus one from me i'll find it somewhere in here thurston could you please
stop metagaming oh he's he's just he's just he's just giving you the deets on how it's going to operate
i know that was baldrick telling you that you better stop metagaming this little
man i'll take your villain points away they're called pity points thank you very much please
oh sorry my cheeks hurt i'll uh guess uh i guess veena's up first baldrick will get behind veena and
push her drunk ass towards uh the scary raccoon man oh shit okay uh shopping now you wanted to buy
something didn't you yeah i i honestly thought that we would have more time hello
what are you looking for captain my captain i i'm looking for a weapon upgrade i believe that we can
get up to moderate runes right now we're level 11.
um people to find something down here let me take a look around you're gonna need someone to apply
though do you have some kind of smith on board i'm not good with that sort of stuff
oh yeah we got a smith he's our he's our bestie i'm i'm right here what who what is this
this is raki the raxa your new best friend um he's apparently setting up shop in our ship
oh who is oh why is there tomato sauce on his apron he loves to cook
uh don't think about it too hard um with a little bit of time
um he meant but it's not showing me all of the runes
all of the runes if you're looking for runes remember it's in the compendium core
the gm cool oh the gm core oh i was looking for the one that i could click and drag
i see i thought it was under equipment but i don't believe i have a greater striking runes
are 12. yeah yeah yeah and they wouldn't apply that item 65 gold pieces yeah you'd you get to
your weapon itself and edit the properties yeah oh okay yeah there we go you just want to know the
price of it it just says striking i i was looking for rune but it does it just it just calls it striking
yeah yeah you gotta up that to greater striking greater um our level plus one yeah um give me
your weapon we'll take this and i'll begin the application process yes of course thank you
uh that's 1065 gold so i have officially spent a little bit over my allotted uh 1000.
um unless anybody wants to give me their money will people forgive me we have 2000 gold just in
the stash so you can i've given you 15 gold that's all i had to my name true damn
uh but yeah the greater striking is 1065. uh essentially i was just gonna put all the money in the
the pool because i think that's just the easiest way to keep track of it where's the people's loot
again
mary it's in the stash you watch socialism destroys our party we got rid of the people's
loot thing months ago oh yeah yes i forgot we divvied up everything we haven't touched we have
no it's in the party stash now
it's in the actors tab and then the opening right by the party ui there's the open sheet thing
you see a piece of paper button there by the folder icon that'll show you everything
oh very nice there's a stash you've got such great things in here like an unusual object that you still
haven't identified yet um that's true oh i love seeing greater thing or swarming you know anyone
could sit down and identify that item if they had magical capabilities damn it's a shame we
fucking don't damn is that what is that what tanhauser's doing he's not actually cooking he's secretly
gone wait a second this is waiting in our inventory the whole time maybe there's a way i could use this
in creating my pozole
but yeah uh if if uh y'all will not mind i'll take the 10 65 for a greater striking rune um and then i
think my frost rune should still hold up i think i'm pretty pretty good on that uh because i think i'd
it'd be a little bit greedy gus of me to go for a second one
it's true so unless there are uh okay it's not letting me add to our gold i love i love this
i love that you've had a plus two weapon potency rune just sitting in there
well because we haven't had crunch
it's true but we do now um and uh oh god yeah um i can't add gold to our total
total oh if you click the plus thing it doesn't give you add coins i'll do it then i do not see
a plus i've added 5 000 coins to your inventory all right now take away 1065 i'm getting that greater
striking taking away 1065 gold from your inventory i lack the permission to put the item in there
yeah if there's nothing to do it for you it's not allowed in kill team yeah they put the rune on your
weapon oh yeah i get that for nina look we're up this we're gonna have a amazing amazing greater
striking weapon this just adds so much to your strength wait no you're off
all right there we go bam done crunch is upgrading your weapon yay um and then unless the does anybody
else actually use melee weapons am i the only one who can use these weapon potency runes it's me
yeah about to say it's it's down to ruin you ah all right do you want the plus two of course i do
i'd love to hit harder then uh ten hauser can't do that anymore no ten hauser he can't i like that wow
i appreciate that rahua had already picked up greater striking on the pick earlier oh no i
hulky is currently seeing what the numbers are didn't do oh my god use their money oh i see
i see i see oh wait i do already have a plus two so that's all yours yippee and just stares at you
waiting there's like jeopardy music to starting to play dude dude dude dude dude dude let me just
take a look at the what this could be uh so this is all uh is this all a magic item store or um
is there like a regular grocery store there's a regular grocery store here too all right i'm gonna
meander over to the grocery store and i'm gonna get some cheese and crackers there so i have a
wacky question for you the bomb launcher uh it just increases my range by an increment of 30 right it
doesn't it's not a weapon i can attach anything to right correct and the reason for that is is as your
bombs improve that's what gives you your item bonus to to hit so like enchanting it even if you could
wouldn't actually do anything okay just wanted to make sure that there wasn't because like i'm
i'm pretty content with my loadout right now i'm content to let the others take stuff because i am
already where i want to be
yes excellent okay just for the lulls and because it's really now just like triggering me
um i need i need um tan hauser to make me an arcana check you got it should i also make a crafting
check to determine the quality of my pozole yes sure okay thank you all right yeah let's go
all right so this is for the arcana check that's a 16 on the dive for a 38 good and the crafting for the
pozole absolutely absolutely and i'll get a 30 on the crafting for the pozole
that's pretty good pozole no this is good pozole
as you go to as you go to identify uh the item that may or may not help with your cooking
uh it turns out it's a plus two armor potency rune
all right that's garbage i'll throw it oh whatever
excuse me as i just am quietly opening up all of your inventories
there's one player that would benefit
i i could benefit two players that would benefit
a tank that would benefit oh look all of you benefit from this item that has been languishing in
your in the fucking depths of your inventory wow good thing we never used that i throw it out the window
who deserves who deserves it lands on the child who got the
brochure that child's walking out with like a 40 ac um so here's here's the question
here's the question i have who here takes more upfront melee damage because i only got a plus one
i've currently got a plus one to my armor um and i feel like my face is in the line of fire a lot
but uh my ac is 32
rahua my ac is 30. what's your what's your armor is it a plus one or a plus two it is a plus one
i think he should get it because he's also getting mauled in melee all right can i get a plus one then
you can take the plus one that comes from his
yay i will get crotch on that
shit
could i persuade the party so much to
could i persuade the party to also get a upgraded striking rune a greater striking
yeah literally the thing you just bought this would be this would be so funny if at this point
vena was just like no well i have a question no of course you can't have a fucking greater
did the guy inform us or the raccoon tell us that we can only get stuff that is appropriate to our level
plus one it's up to plus one so it's well yeah our level plus one yeah
i was listening so 12. to my meta was relevant yes 2 12 yes yeah it's a c12
well you could level up
can we level up right now the rules now yes oh yay okay
i'm gonna buy a little bet you weren't expecting that answer
no i wasn't but now i'm happy
oh you're a bully what's everyone doing uh i got my upgrade
and uh yeah i've got my greater striking frost rapier
um i'm getting my rage
and then
we do also have a swarming rune
a swarming room yeah well what does that do
able to copy itself many times over when thrown until the air is filled with deadly blades a swarming
weapon turns a single weapon into a shower of devastation
fling your weapon that multiplies as it flies to the air filling a 30-foot cone all creatures
in the area take damage equal to the double the weapons uh number of damage dies with a dc 27 basic
reflex
oh i just i just i just like that like it it's one of the items you've had for a bit but i also am like
oh yeah that's like cab's end game in kingmaker and it's just sitting there unloved
yeah yeah we're like dangling over dangling over cab's face like oh man who would want a rune like
this that's great who would want something like there's been i want you to understand something really
quite funny about this were i playing a martial class as in one that does not use something that
automatically gets an item bonus after a certain level you know i would be digging through this to
find things but i don't oh i know i know it's it's what makes it it's what makes this so good i
my eagle there's so many gfs listening to this right now being like yes yes
my eagle eye when it comes to getting valuable edges if i need them if i were to be say playing
someone like vic would be all over this be like give me all that give me give me give me it but i'm
playing baldrick and i don't benefit that much from this stuff i um can i get that menacing uh
menacing greater rune etched on my subterfuge suit
just add it to crunch's pile yeah yeah sure here thank you crunch we love you crunch yay i'll get a plus
one in there oh flip me who who you miss your subterfuge
uh oh one's uh yes
darn does anybody have thrown weapons
actually uh i have a rapier i do not have a thrown weapon i technically throw weapons
does it count as that
or is it just a plain range weapon it's the question
what qualifies a thrown weapon
is it just if the weapon itself is thrown if it has the throne like property okay that that is
important this this came up in starfinder recently with zoren's grenade question
so what you're saying is we could in theory get the reusable grenade we could put a swarming property
on that and then he could just have a merv
that's pretty beautiful that would be wonderful yeah i'm just carrying around a nuclear missile in my
pocket at any given point in time just to let you know
so does anybody have something with the throne property
i had caltrops
i you could buy something can you put a rune on a caltrop
i have to go and find a weapon with a thrown property what would qualify that oh god why do you
why do you hurt me we don't hurt you we merely wish to make your brain meet wrinkle
why why do you hurt me because we love you and love hurts i don't like that that seems that seems
bad it seems seems it is isn't it well bad well bad um also since that menacing rune is kind of a
weird thing speaker you can't like directly apply it to your armor so i'm just gonna drop it into
so you have it oh sounds good to me yeah
and i'll just have to remember that i have an extra third rank fear
yeah that you can just spend actions and go
and they'll be like and i'll be like
it's tannhausen time and then i'll tannhausen all over the have them
on that horrific note let's take like a five minute break
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and we're back that's when i started blasting i say to the pozoli that i made
why are you talking to your soup uh or on the side will basically uh be kind of like tugging veena and
who was like i don't think we need to be dealing more stuff with this guy
all right all right we'll be back come back and deal with him later
can i can i have the cheese and crackers though
of course cheese and crackers later don't take it from me
it's gonna be two two gold pieces thanks
two gold pieces
that's a lot for cheese and crackers are you paying it
yeah that's ominously i know that does sound scary you know what yeah i'll pay
two gold for cheese and crackers okay cool so you bought two greater striking runes and cheese and
crackers from him so far yep cool oh no everything that we buy for him is going to make him more
more powerful that means he can buy gear
no if i can't have wine i at the very least can have my um very lazy charcuterie board
it's just you close the door on rocky the rack saw leaving him to his ominous store on board your airship
uh are the cheese and crackers good extremely all right worth it
maybe we should write more fairy onto the ship huh
i'm kidding
orange looks at you
oh yeah orange touched the door and then finds random rope and chains and just starts like
binding the door
and writes on it murder raccoon don't open but he writes it like you know like those double doors of
like don't dead open inside yeah yeah don't dad open inside you might take it right thank you
i was just like walking dead walking dead room walking dead room yeah good
well he it's it's not like he can die in there he's got like a whole trader joe's
what the hell's a trader joe's yeah you know after joe the traitor
no you know who betrayed his people and then decided to open a store about it how did he betray
his people orange now invested in the story
all right well if you guys are uh done engaging with the fey raccoon i need to go back to the bomb bay
wait bomb bay don't worry about it i'm worried about it mr bodrick no i can't just say about the bomb bay
they were down there for like days yeah we were doing a revolution
anyway yeah if you guys want to come on and check it out it's down on the uh bottom of the ship
now we're doing i'm giving you guys a tour of your own ship again
i i assume you were like building this while we were away in golgotha yeah with crotch's help
oran pitter patters down there like what the well god damn yeah it's work in progress still working on
some things but it could also be a little bit of an easier egress than having to take the gangplank
to anywhere we could always just open the bay doors and jump but where did you get the bomb
that's been with me remember that thing i had tarped up at my place no i never went there
i literally took it with us when we went to the solitude
that's what that thing is i thought you just had a big bed no it's not that you don't want to sleep
on this why not it's warm he like touches the side of it yeah you face it will leave you extremely
warm for the rest of your life and this is how oran's gonna turn into that guy from robocop he has run
over and explodes
get away from me my head hurts mr bodrick get off get off okay he's glowing green it will leave you warm
for the rest of your very short life if you choose to fall asleep on that oh really
it will make your life very short really sorry a dark joke
it's called dark comedy
vena question should it be in a contained space you know like an airship with a bunch of people in it
are we all like you know irradiated now you don't even know what radiation is yeah
you don't even know what radiation is oh yeah i'm the smartest pirate on the planet you know
you could say that that maybe could also be a cultism
is radiation a cult yeah can i roll nature i'd say occultism or nature are the two i'd go for
can i roll nature can i roll to see if i know what radiation is yeah for sure
everyone give me a roll to know radiation check
horny does not know what radiation is so i know what radiation is
yeah 38. yeah oran and oran and uh uh rua definitely know about radiation
all right tan hauser do you want to give me occultism yeah sure absolutely what's wrong
she's heard about it but uh uh she's decided that it is something completely different
but still bad that's i like how you've i like how you're you're all out here saying that this is
definitely radioactive and i'm not just saying like the alchemical supplies within it will possibly warm
oran through to his bones for the rest of his short life no it's definitely a nuclear bomb that's
baldrick has built out of alchemical supplies i believe it yeah he didn't do that i mean you're
you're not going to get to use it till your 20th level at which point it might as well be a nuke right
exactly it's for now it's just a thing
it's just a very scary thing that he is advising oran not sleep on like a nesting bird about to
shorten his life span john baldrick's the thing the thingy that thing it's perfectly fine to be in
here it's got all kinds of safeguards in place and anything that would react with light is permanently
covered up that being said don't take the tarp off or we're going to have a problem so can this bomb
bay drop anything besides the big one yeah you can open it up and you could fall out of it if you're
drunk well that will probably happen at least once but i'm more talking because if we are on
our way to andazia there's a non-zero chance we get stopped by um well i'm hoping it's not the sky
crew on papa storm's crown but there are other sky crews so keep an eye out for birds but um they
certainly wouldn't be expecting the bottom to open up and to death to come raining out yes you can send
all kinds of things out of the bottom of this the only problem is we don't really have a whole lot
of ordnance and i didn't exactly find an arms dealer in golgotha who'd be willing to sell me anything like
that yeah just like imagine a rewind and it's like you talking to snot a goblin just like so yes i can
do this well unfortunately no one introduced snot to him until it was too late it's true hey guys i made
pozole tan hauser comes in with a bunch of bowls of pozole yay oh thanks tanny the pozole is
specifically pozole verde which was made within the mix of cilantro tomatillos jalapenos mexican oregano
onion salt garlic hominy broth and chicken thighs it is a hearty stew oh that makes me hungry did you roll
all this see if it was good or not yes yes it is good pozole ah good
i'll prepare the re-roll yes hulky
hulky what no i'm not taking it from i was gonna say oh there's gonna be an eyeball in it
because it's a pozoli of trusite
no this is this is actually the three-day blinding bozole oh actually can i make an
error declaration it's the three-day blinding fazole
that's what i ate right before i got the omens ah perfect for people you know piloting an airship
oh yeah everybody on the ship has already had some nobody knew
no i'm not gonna spend my all right this is great i'm so glad that i could finally cook for you all
and and you know i'm glad that it wasn't terribly dangerous hey by the way why is there a bomb here
oh yeah or in point he did it okay man have hobbies my tenhouser loses all interest
that's so fucking mean he doesn't he doesn't like he doesn't like the alchemical like super
bomb that's being created because baldrick made it i understand no it's more that he thinks oh
baldrick made a giant bomb awesome i know everything about it now there you go that's all i need to know
baldrick has a giant bomb excellent ted hauser would you be more interested in this if it was
painted red and had the words revolutionize this on the side ted hauser turns 180 degrees yes
when you plunder by c to play to please
let's do it i wouldn't deny that other part either
all right i'm gonna i'm gonna go and uh uh find some red paint and uh i'm gonna say
baldrick i need a few minutes with your bomb you're not taking the tarp off of it
how am i gonna get the paint on it and that's the thing you're on i'm showing you guys the bomb
bay to let you know it's here if you mess with it then we're going to die so please leave it to
the professionals who actually work on the bomb please for once in your life listen to me and don't
touch this thing because i don't want to blow up in midair or get poisoned to death by all the materials
that i put into this i'm sure none of you would like that either no not ideal no no pretty bad pretty
bad rahua leans down to orrin lady sale is definitely inside what
don't tell tan hauser he'll be really mad oh okay
i i is lady zales like apparatus like right behind him as i didn't put lady zale in the
for once i am asking this with as much force as i can you have blown holes in my home you have
ignored almost every request that i've made for my own personal privacy and you know what i've more or
less allowed now allow me this one because if you take the tarp off of that and the materials react
with the light and there's a chain reaction this entire ship will be reduced to splinters and you
will all be chunks along with me all right i think it's pretty reasonable you know but i but a
fucking calm i'm gonna take my slice are you lifting the tarp just a little something to wet my beak
no but i am going to the tarp no but i am going to uh spray with my can of red spray paint on the
tarp the word cool guy there is a one in 20 there is a one in 20 chance that you doing this has
catastrophic results please oh no oh my god oh my god i looked at the one
i'm tempted to use a hero point but i won't
he's he's fishing for a crit this is the one time we have i think in the entirety of this show fished for
a crit fail so how did the rock grind campaign end well let me tell you a story
it ended it ended with erndale going to the other room grabbing his the leather bag that his father
had that's filled with dice and dumping them all on his table and announcing all the numbers that he
just rolled i wonder what i want to roll and that's the damage exactly not a one i'm i'm not taking the
chances i know what my rules are like hey you know what everyone everyone take a peek if you roll a one
and we die no no no it has to be a d20 okay wait wait wait wait wait i know a d20 is like a thing but
like no one would make it really funnier let's all collectively roll a d100 and see what we would get
okay all right yeah yeah yeah so slash you get a one on a d100 yeah yeah yeah okay so oh no i got a 92. 92.
oh there we go we're we're alive we'll find out later
the world does not end the world okay thurston our world the world would be still here we simply
would no longer be in it that's that's that's the only distinction that's metaphysical perception
stuff though sorry normal uh oh no you say your thing oh i said no you guys do your thing first
i'm like asking a story but no that's important i was doing it okay uh or what kind of motion
towards it really mr bodge you've you've been working this in for quite a while right
i would have a daily like to have been working on it for a few more years but recent events have
forced my hand to move this thing around and it has not been easy well i could imagine a lot of
reasons why you'd make something of it but but what was the plan oh there's a certain
spire a certain structure in one of the pilasters that i think would make a better crater
it's gonna be a lot harder now but i figured that would have been the last thing i would have done
for that well hey much easier to drop it on from the sky yeah yeah potentially also a lot easier to
see coming than trying to smuggle it in through the sewers
maybe this thing's only about the size of like a fucking volkswagen beetle by the way it's not like
it's not like a nuclear missile it's just kind of like yeah a hefty looking device it's a it's a bug
bomb and he's the exterminator yeah true i mean i'm the bomb i'm about to blow up it's i don't know why
they go yeah it took you it must have really impressive you're able to make something like
this mr baldry i appreciate that it's uh it's the last thing i can really attribute to a college degree
for you went to a colleague i feel like i've said this multiple times but i'll reiterate it yeah
don't start saying that tanhauser's a wizard oh he is i am good good just making sure we're on the
same page for that let's see your life turn out this way but if if things didn't turn as they are
what would you want it to be after colleague i only went in there for engineering there's some
thing about dealing with the rot is after a period the alchemical resources don't actually
do anything to combat it so you just start looking into ways to destroy rot tainted things that's where
well you know he reaches into his pouch and pulls out a coring charge just sort of hefting it in his
hand these things were meant to bring down rot infested buildings and whatnot because they're hot they
get up to a very high temperature and that's enough to burn it away but really it's it's all just for
the purpose of combating the rot and my engineering degree wasn't going to do me a whole hell of a lot
of good after uh after i had to pick up this line of work
or looks at the charge and then up at baldrick and he kind of he kind of comes over and kind
of pats him on his arm and then says well i think you're worth it here with us mr baldring and
as much as it is trying to you know buildings and stuff
with all the happenstance that's happened around here so far i'm i think you're gonna do a lot of
good at least doing stuff with us i mean in some way we're helping out the whole world right now
engineering is just as much about blowing things up as it is building them just gotta use it to know
how to blow something up to minimize damage to things you don't want
you don't want destroyed and i think we're all grateful for that knowledge you had mr baldring
i'm glad you're with us
i think i'm glad too for now the ship begins to shake violently okay i think i need to go to the wheel
i was like who's who's been manning that gorgamonger he starts running up
i'll get up there in a sec i just gotta re-secure this damn thing and then lock the door
i taught the lizard how to drive
a beetle all right yeah i'm running up to the uh deck at full tilt full uh um 45 feet movement
high speed low drag yeah bald is going to be less because he's got a he's got a latch down the the
device and also secure the room
tanhouser
tanhouser
all right uh as you run up
um um as you get to the to the to the main deck there's a vast shadow that blooms down over
everything uh for a moment you think you're back in that that vision you had with the sort of
almost near monochromatic view but you realize it's just a shadow of something above
oh
oh shit um
yeah i'm going to very quickly climb one of the masts to get a better look at it
okay so you begin to climb you look up and manage to see the the form veer off from you
you definitely recognize it just as others begin to
arrive up on deck each of them kind of catching sight of this creature in the distance
vast
yeah whale
let's go
the sky whale
the sky whale of the of the andassian region
gliding and kind of just propelling itself through unseen force in the skyline
does does it look like uh does it look like it has anything on its uh back or is this one wild
this is a wild sky
yeah you're gonna see uh uh veena's eyes just like light up and just like the the biggest
dumbest grin on her face and she just sky whale
sky whale
oh that's a good sign look look look she's gonna like a point overhead at the massive shadow
i thought you like wait you just look around there might there might be others there might be a whole pot around
as if on cue suddenly you find yourself surrounded by at least a half a dozen of these large creatures
yeah just like that sing-songy voices yeah
thurston's out here sounding like the god mode power up from rise of the triad i'm losing my mind
yeah veena is going to very quickly uh uh scramble down and it's just who all can fly
i can i can i can all right come on we don't have any time to waste and uh veena's going to launch
herself off the side of the boat
take care of the ship wherever's on it and oran flies down with her
like they say we're in rome or what's the football
reward just falls off the side of the ship
all right i'll man the steering
take over from corgamunker corgamunker down stop biting the steering wheel as you
come out you're not going to miss out on this are you they're just giant whales no no no you needed
up close and personal experience with this come on and rahul starts dragging tanhouser towards the
ship headlong or edge of the ship oh oh oh let's go he can fly he can fly he can fly
he can fly and as all of you join the air pod
yeah veena's just part of the time of her life uh uh vena was a very big fan of sky whales quite
obviously and she's just gonna kind of wheel and weave between them also beautiful art from
scully by the way for the sky yes that's so pretty i love that
and with that that is where we will call it for today's session yay i want the ending camera shot
to be um as i imagine imagine either baldrick's taking the wheel or some or someone's taking the
wheel or cronch that as gorgomonger is there he looks at whoever's comes up to the wheel and he's
like where and then he just disappears because oran goes a hundred feet away
he fades out with like a powerpoint transition yeah it holds up like a peace sign and disappears
or that thank you all so very much for watching us today please follow everyone's socials down
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fun and get all the preview stuff and everything else we love you guys so very much hope you guys have a
wonderful day so long farewell and goodbye
bye everybody