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A Rogue Trader, a Skitarii, an Inquisitorial acolyte, and a Fenrisian psyker get dumped onto Fathom 4 to recover a missing embassy and strong-arm a tithe. The locals are ratlings. The capital is run by something calling itself the Divine Lord of Fervor. And the only path forward runs through a farmhouse the villagers call Meat Place Alpha, where a xeno swarm is already chewing through the crops.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: WH40K Wrath & Glory
Creators and Guests
Host
Guest
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What is WarHams - Narrative Declaration?
WarHams! The TTRPG live play show set in the grim dark world of Warhammer 40,000. Follow us @NarrativeDeclaration on all social media!
All right, Chad, are you ready?
Hope you all are excited for the beginning episode of Warhams!
Yeah, buddy! Yeah!
Welcome, everybody- what?
Okay, I like how at the beginning of it, we're like,
Okay, guys, yeah, it's not exciting stuff.
And it sounds like everyone's dying.
welcome everyone to warhams this is a warhammer 40 000 tabletop rpg show and i am your host
zorn the bear and i would like to bring it around the horn basically introducing all of the players
in our love the game master so the person who is playing by brain is speaker d i'm the leader of
the team and uh and what uh and just for people who are referenced on tts and stuff what characters
have you uh voiced in tts i have voiced vect i have voiced the emperor i have voiced uh commissar
a i have voiced um uh in rim specter and many others excellent and for the
coming down we have someone playing reeve van horn who was our inquisitor acolyte and you all
in is played by
and and uh what has your contributions been to uh the emperor had a test to speak to vice universe
well um i voice act uh sparingly small bit parts here and there no one particularly
valuable at times but i am one of the writers and so is uh speaker d and i'm really surprised
you didn't bring that up i forgot one of the big boy but heads frequently on this how can you
forget i don't know the wars of deep scars i'm gonna hit you with a rake stop okay and uh and
also and quickly uh speaker d what type what type of character are you playing i am playing the
scotarius probationary tech priest uh pi brain
who is a rather eccentric individual and uh nerdo you want to talk about your character real quick
just like what his class is archetype etc oh yes he is a he is an ordo xenos inquisitorial acolyte
he is learning to understand xeno biology so he can use it to better the imperium of man or just
so he can uh vivisect things because he does that a lot i will hope excellent and then of course we
have a captain of a lovely ship that'll bring us out throughout various objectives of the crusade
captain zedek and he is played by hoagie crow thank you very much as much as brain may think
he's the real brains of the operation i'm clearly the uh the guy in charge here and future hero of
the imperium by the way and uh you want to talk about your character real quick uh who he is what
he does so uh captain zedek is our resident rogue trader pilot of the ship i don't know if we're
going to reveal the name of that ship yet uh he will find out as we go they will very cocky but
has a heart of gold as much as he tries to be a gallivanting rogue trader as so many people he's
idolized before and with that of course even though we have our band of things of course i
am also playing lorne who is a uh pretty much a sanctioned psycher and who is basically crazy
even though we're all here together we're here to suffer at the hands of the true of the true
star of the show who is the galvanizer of the ship and he's a galvanizer of the ship and he's a
game master thurston hillman thank you so much sir for coming over and game mastering for us but
you like to talk about yourself a little bit well that's a lie i i'm not like a like professional
you know gay game master i'm i'm just here to torture you that's what i was hired for
hello hi what was that yes fine i'm going i'm thurston hillman um i do game stuff and i'm here
to torture you so i'm going to torture you so i'm going to torture you so i'm going to torture you
ridiculous stuff that alpha and i have put together as part of the the creation of this uh
vestigial limb of tts and uh and that is definitely definitely a thing a majority of this is basically
in the universe of the tts universe and all that stuff so any kooky banana stuff you've obviously
seen from the shows you might kind of see here and uh and of course you might be wondering wow
this is an overlay with a bunch of stuff on it what what's going on here how how do
things work so we're playing basically uh we're 40k tabletop rpg basically called uh wrath and
glory and stuff like that and uh obviously that game encompasses uh various dice pulls are going
to go for this and i understand there's other 40k rpgs out there we get you we really like them too
but just for string compatibility we did this one we might play some of those later on but uh other
than that all these dice basically have a purpose the ones that you're going to see at the bottom
left are called glory die which they will be depleting now these we use for the glory die
for various things you kind of see them kind of either below the twitch uh twitch video player in
the about section if you're on mobile and you'll be able to see kind of little things that they do
they'll kind of be explained as the show goes on but they kind of help with like improving roles
whenever we need them or doing some extra damage uh the things you can kind of see on brain's
character there you kind of see the dice kind of flicker on off those are called wrath dice
they are basically kind of like oh we need to re-roll some failed rolls that happened or we
want to use them to influence the story in some way it's a very story-driven game
but of course the uh red dice at the bottom right are called ruin uh dice here in which all these
dice were custom made which uh artist i can't remember his name exactly right now because i
can't find my credit list he did an amazing job on this like it is superb on what he's done with all
this art and uh basically we the game master starts with four ruined points at this point and
you guys are able to influence the game uh one of the things you wanted to do is basically allow you
guys to help support the show which you'll see the little things at the bottom left there in that
little blue section and then you can just go ahead and just go ahead and just go ahead and just go
on how you can influence the game and on how these kind of affect the game as they go
of course it does bring up some concerns some people be like well what if someone who has a
bigger walk than me comes in and tries to pay to win the game and mess it up one of the things you
want to emphasize is that in speaker d check your mic thing get down hot mic in there and uh and
basically on what it's uh what we want to do we want to have a good show first so if you see that
we're capped on dice like right now we're capped on wrath dice we're not banking things we're not
thinking of a jigs that person's supposed to have 10 dice now we're not doing that a show first we
want to make sure you have a good time and if we don't want someone to come in and like drop a
whole bunch of stuff to mess up the game we're here to have a really good time first make sure
you guys have a good time with us and we don't want someone's wallet like completely messing up
the game so that's the one thing we want to basically lay down is a hard rule once those
dice are full we can't give any more no matter how much gets put in can't give any more dice
anymore so we want make sure you enjoy the show and we actually can enjoy the game so that you
can enjoy that in proxy so with all of that thurston yes i think it's time we finally
played the game and i stopped saying unless i forgot something there's a lot of spiel at the
start uh yeah yeah i i think i think we're good to go i think there's just a couple things i'm
going to tack on to that the the first of which is we're running a role-playing game
on a stream with a whole bunch of people in chat uh one thing about ever running a role-playing game
is we're going to get shit wrong occasionally that's just going to happen uh if you're someone
who's familiar with wrath and glory uh feel free to call us out it's the only way we're going to
get better we'll probably just move on but call us out don't like if we're doing something wrong
we want to make sure we got it right so that's that's rule number one um and yeah other than
that we're going to kind of go through the system and we're going to kind of go through the system
as we get to it we'll give some kind of explanations as we hit some of the rules and
give you an idea of how the core mechanics work for wrath and glory it's a really
simple but robust system and if you saw our trailer uh from the tts channel you can tell
we've been able to get some pretty goddamn hilarious lines from it so and to answer that
question in chat of where can we find the background each of the characters you get to
find out as the show goes on we like to build upon characters as we go various plot points
various background things
and uh we highly encourage you to keep watching the show to see how the characters grow with you
along with everything else but just for a short description of characters and stuff at least i
know for me for lorn he's just a psycher who somehow survived finris and then got off into
a black ship and became a sanctioned psycher you'll find more details as we go so thurston
yes what do you have for us today well our adventure begins on board the sword class frigate
debt collector as our party of intrepid heroes assembles for their next mission each of our
players are members of the recently established officio ambassadorium the group within the
crusade they're a part of that travel to imperial worlds to requisition soldiers and supplies for
the wider crusade as our adventure begins our players are in the midst of receiving a hololithic
transmission from their direct superior to the imperial world and they're going to be
receiving a hololithic transmission from their direct superior to the imperial world and they're
minister materatum cacha van nord and her vessel the magnum orum victorium as it's translating out
of system they're gonna switch over and give you some fancy art right here bam to kind of get us
going here um and so all of you are in the the command deck of the of the debt collector in sort
of a cradled area where you can have private hololithic conversations in this case cacha van
nord is giving you your initial briefing so this this green light sprays out from a projector and
inside of which there is this hololithic representation of cacha van nord and she provides
you with greetings adequate agents of the crusade and passable members of the officio ambassadorium
yes passable i bring tidings of your next mission in service to the glorious imperium of mankind
you are to travel to the world of fathom four and investigate the disappearance of a previously
dispatched embassy the failure and disappearance of this prior embassy has necessitated the
crusade's leadership to dispatch two other embassies yourselves and one other to investigate
what has transpired on this world you will travel to the planet's southern hemisphere where you will
make contact with the local leadership to learn what has occurred on this planet and begin your
work in extracting the requisite tithe you will travel to the planet's southern hemisphere where you
will find in this case food stuffs and a regiment of at least 1 000 souls captain zedek your vessel
will stay in orbit to provide necessary support you and the rest of your embassy will take a
shuttle down to the surface and meet with the largest settlement you can detect now i expect
that i will entertain any questions you may have about your mission and stating that i expect there
will be some asinine comment from lorn to kick things off go fuck yourself
no fuck you
you can't talk to him like that yeah you can't you can't talk to me like that at all
uh she fidgets with a diamond necklace that has her symbol of office now perfectly uh adhered to
it and she just takes her mechadendroids like hands oh i i believe i can talk to you like this
what what do you mean we got you that necklace so you did and it's lovely what reeb
you for just a moment lawn to remember that she can unfortunately tell us what we are doing though
i do respect your spunk in this particular occasion could you please redirect it to
something more pressing like listening oh that's a good point i'll try to listen
well as i've said i've given you the primary mission do you have any questions about what
i've said so far anything you would like me to expand upon
brain raises
your brain raises his hand servant of the machine god and my name is pie brain
yes pie brain i must ask why are you sending other inferior ambassadorial agents
it is very clear that we are your most adequate and best passable agent
i prefer not to divulge information on the other units
but i will say that fathom four is a large world and you will need to discover what you can in
the southern hemisphere while the others work in the northern hemisphere
but it is to be understood that the points awarded for our success will be ruled between
a lot of us is that correct ah yes you refer to your ambassadorial score as part of this mission
not the important part of this mission I am the seen over and over over here and З 29 00 23 os of us interdem Kollбur uhh shar sakal is high up doing national research
well i can assure you that should you succeed in finding out what happened to the prior embassy
as well as achieving your objectives of acquiring necessary foodstuffs and your
regiment of 1 000 souls for the crusade that you will receive points points yes more points
as usual i love points
yes it is exciting it makes sure we're better than that other team
i know how many points do the other teams have compared to us
you will have to find that out after you complete this mission this will be
a defining start all of the previous missions you've partaken in
really have been wiped clean as test missions for this
what
what
so it was all for naught just for that diamond necklace oh no she's she's like
handling this diamond necklace like oh it was not for naught
right uh oh zedek will raise his hand so slightly but i will assure you that should you
increase your embassy's ambassadorial score and more importantly make the great mission's prime
diagram
go up she kind of looks wistfully off then you will be rewarded but now is not the time to discuss the
the intricacies of our point system you have a mission do you have any other questions about
where you're going what you will be expected to do uh captain zedek will raise his hand ever so
slightly yes captain uh yes moderatum is there any information you can offer us on why this
why they've gone missing yet another group of imperial ambassadors have gone missing
all i know about the previous group that was sent is that it consisted of a varied group much like
yourselves there was an engine seer of the adeptus mechanicus an imperial guardsman from the death
world of katachan a rather boisterous preacher and a talented chirurgeon
what uh
what uh
what's a chirurgeon
she looks at reeb slightly as i look i look at reeb as her hologram looks at reeb
so lauren if you're not overly familiar with what a medic is or indeed anyone who performs
i haven't heard that word normally we call those i'll call those old men who put leaves on your legs
yes but i don't do that because well let's just say
that putting leaves on people's legs is not a imperial standard quality medical attempt
mine is much better i assure you and so would a well chirurgeon now what i can tell you is that
the other group was dispatched to the planet roughly a half solar cycle ago a terran standard
they were supposed to check in after 30 days but failed to do so
we are now sending you and the other team as follow-up to investigate
i can only speak to the um the incredible tragedy that they could not claim their points and we will
look forward to competing against the other teams with the utmost sportsmanship
i agree that captain yes and i assume you know the planet and everything we're going to correct
how close as always
well i will tell you in just a moment i would like to make a scholar check for that
yeah yeah totally give give me a scholar check to see what what you know about fartham for
with pleasure
yeah
so uh so a complication
so you see i was going to say it was going to be a complication to matter what which is an excellent
way to describe this someone already donated to make sure that was a complication no matter what
hahaha
But the specification is as long as it is a non-already that we roll a complication.
So the next one we do, we're dead.
So to give our audience a quick explanation of how Wrath and Glory works is it is a dice pool-based game.
So essentially our players are rolling a bunch of D6s, and then they have to hit a score.
And 4s and 5s mean they get a success.
6s mean they get two successes.
1 through 3 means nothing.
And one of the dice, this lovely little red one here, is called the Wrath dice.
And you always roll the Wrath dice separately.
On a 6, means really good, means they might get a critical in combat, means they might generate some glory for their party.
Really awesome.
In this case, that lovely chaos symbol there, that's a 1.
That creates a complication.
Now, complications don't mean the action fails.
It just means that something not as expected happens out of it.
So with this complication.
So Captain Zedek, your information on Fartham 4 may be a bit out of date.
So I'm going to give you two pieces of information, based on your check.
One of which is true, and one of which is patently false.
Oh, alright.
Okay.
Sounds good.
Alright, perfect.
So the first piece of information.
That you know.
Is that Fartham 4 has some kind of, like, soporific hallucinogen in the atmosphere.
That distorts the perception and vision of those people who are on the planet.
Oh.
Is that all?
The other thing you know is that the planet has an overabundance of crops.
That...
Are thought to be haunted, in that they can grow on their own, with basically no labor involved.
Alright, so magic plants and crazy skies.
Alright.
Terrific.
There is no such thing as a magical plant, Captain Zedek.
They are simply angry plants.
Do you know an angry plant?
I don't think plants can be mad, either.
The forge world of Lemuria has long done away.
With pity.
And why would I know about it?
Alright, alright, you've had enough time to banter about this.
I will allow you to go on your mission, however, there is one final request I have.
And she leans in, like, the hollow of it grows as her face just fills up most of it.
I have a personal request.
It better not be another fucking rock, I swear.
Something that would award bonus points.
Bonus points?
I nearly get close.
Here we go again.
And then she kind of, like, pulls back, becomes way more formal.
Yes.
On a personal note, I've heard that Fathomfor's environment has made it somewhat known for its ability to generate fine cooks.
My vessel is lacking in culinary skill.
So the acquisition of a talented cook for our crusade, for my ship, will result in bonus points added to your ambassadorial score.
I like how we both cackle.
Yeah, yeah.
I would say, though, you really wouldn't have to go terribly far.
But you have proven that you're a very capable cook, haven't you?
Ah, yes.
I'm excellent at the production of nutrient paste.
My favorite flavor is nutrient paste flavor.
Precisely.
You eat?
Well, with that, I will leave you to your mission.
The emperor pretends-
And then she pauses.
And there's just this moment where you can see her head dip, her eyes drop down, and, like, the sigh comes through.
No.
There's one thing.
She looks up.
As we are communicating via hololith, I cannot provide the requisite big hug.
To your group.
So instead, I give you my...
Kind of, like, grits her teeth.
My best wishes in accomplishing your mission, knowing that in the future, when we meet in flesh, we will partake in the mandatory big hug ritual.
And then the hololith cuts out.
What's this?
Can I scholar check to figure out what the fuck the hug is?
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Excellent.
Excellent.
I will now go full to my excellent skills of I put everything in the psychic stuff and run zero.
Oh, wow.
That's going to be a complication, technically.
That will, because of our lovely chat helping us out.
Yeah.
So I'm going to give you one piece of true information.
And one piece of false information.
Okay.
So you would know that the big hug ritual is something that is part of all ambassadorial briefings.
And is something that is mandated.
However, what you also know is that that mandate comes from the codex familiaris, which is sort of the textbook of the officio ambassadorial.
Now, what you know.
What you also know is that it said that that order came expressly from a primarch.
In this case, it came expressly from the primarch corvus corax.
That's.
I believe it.
Also, speaker, fix your mic sensitivity.
If you're doing push to talk, just adjust yourself there.
You're cutting yourself off.
Oh, yes.
I see that.
I don't know who this person is.
But I don't know what it is.
But I don't know why he would want to hug me or make hug protocols.
But I'm creeped out.
All right.
Let's continue on to the thing.
Captain, are we on our way?
I suppose there's no time like the present.
Let's get ready to find more terrible things.
Actually, I want to check up on the tribes down below the ship.
And I go to a computer terminal.
And I access it.
I see they're all saying corvus hugs.
Like they're chanting.
They're chanting mad.
I'm like, oh, the tribes and the debt collector must have got the word about the hugs.
Oh, joy.
They're revolting.
Again?
Again.
Captain.
You know, speak.
Yes.
Yes.
Begging your pardon.
But do you know anything about the climate of this planet?
I understand that the worlds of the Imperium are varied.
Like, extremely varied.
Please tell me we are going somewhere a bit more tropical.
I really wish to have something a bit more close to home for me.
Well, it depends on your definition of a tropical paradise.
I can tell you that it's possible the planet's atmosphere contains some kind of hallucinogenic agent that affects its denizens in ways unknown to me.
But it is equally likely that that same atmosphere contains an exotic species of crop that grows on its own.
And apparently they have good cooks, too.
You hear boots slam to attention at the door outside of the command nest chamber you're in.
And you see your second-in-command sharply standing at attention.
Captain Zedek!
The shuttle is prepared!
Oh, no.
It's him again.
Hello.
In what is the name of your screaming creature, Zedek?
My name is Lieutenant Reinout Ransom.
Oh, it's Ransom again.
On the debt collector.
Wonderful.
Are you here to yell at me again?
I'm not here to yell at anyone except for the captain.
And I'm here to let the captain know that the Arvis is prepared.
Oh, you can yell at him.
I don't care about that.
And I'm just going to start, like, hobbling to the fucking lander.
Thank you, Ransom.
I, as always, appreciate your very-
And should you require it?
He leans in.
We can bombard any part of that planet you need.
Yes, I'm appreciantly aware that we can bomb the planet.
That's, as always, our last resort.
Though, Corporal Ransom, I do have a question.
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
What is it?
Oh!
Well, we have a new servitor installed in the shuttle.
The pilot-trainee is still not quite up to snuff, so, instead, you'll be using a servitor
for this flight.
Oh.
What?
How long?
You tell me.
What?
He's doing well, Izzy.
He hasn't jettisoned himself off the airlock yet.
Not yet.
What's wrong?
What, Hasselbeck?
You are very quiet.
Get out.
Can I talk to Ransom, will you, while I am setting up the other combining
traffic?
Yes, K dispatch cord.
Hello.
Are you sure you don't want to bother yourself?
Easy.
Easy.
Oh, okay.
Yes, what happened to that other one?
That one is currently being repaired, so we have
a new servitor that has been installed.
You'll get to greet that servitor in just
a few minutes when you go to the landing bay.
Oh, great.
Brain, I do
have one request, though. Please don't
mess with this one
this time. I don't want to hear what the message is.
I can't hear you! I'm down the hall!
Bye! And I'm already heading
there. Yeah, okay.
So is everyone basically just following
now? Yeah, yeah. I'm following
Brain. Let's-a go!
Yeah! I'm trying to think of
inoculations he can make for this atmosphere.
Bring a rebreather!
That's all I'm going to say. So because
the debt collector is a bit of an
older, slightly more run-down
vessel, there
doesn't have quite the best
of things on it.
For example, the only weapons that are really available
on here are lasguns and autoguns.
And the shuttle bay is
currently filled with nothing but
arvus lighters, which are like
unarmed
ferrying shuttles back and forth.
The shuttle you're approaching,
Captain Zedek, do you have a name for this particular
shuttle that you're taking down to the surface?
Yes, this
one actually came with
a shuttle. This one is called Punitive
Damages. Oh, Punitive Damages.
Okay, excellent.
I will mark that down.
Yeah, and you approach it and the
back hatch of it is open.
You've kind of gone on these shuttles before,
you know that they have sort of just this rear hatch
that opens up and admits crew in.
And everyone sort of sits in a back cargo
area. As you come in, you
can see that there is a servitor pilot
who is
half-cradled into the
pilot seat, clearly attached
and not able to move out of it.
Greetings.
Aye!
Hello again, servitor. What is your
designate? My designation
is Mystery Gamer.
Zero-Nine.
What a peculiar name.
That's weird. Regardless, I
get inside of the Arvis, strap
myself in, and I hold on
to like a safety railing, scared
for my life.
Do you have
any relation to Mystery Gamer
Zero-X?
Let's not make this a point.
He serves as the toilet inspector.
All right.
I guess.
Please be seated.
The automatic...
...launch systems will be activating
shortly.
Right. Right. This one's very
slow. Can you modify
him to hurry up?
Ah, yes.
What's the worst that could happen?
Did the servitor say
no?
I didn't need to point out, the last
time you attempted to modify the servitor,
you got a very lovely encoded
message from, I would presume,
to be your hubmate in that regard.
The other that left you such
a rather scathing
message. I don't think...
That uppity tech priest thinks that she could look down
at me for being a skitari.
Well, it's not like we listened to her anyway.
No, we have to,
unfortunately. We cannot tell her what it is.
Well,
I'm sorry for your loss,
and I'm going to start taking out my copy tool and
fucking with the servitor. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Okay, so this sounds like some kind of tech
check for me. It does sound like a tech
check, doesn't it? It does sound like a complication.
Yeah. It does.
Oh, no! We are spared.
We are spared on this one. Yeah, okay.
This is fair. So there's no complication.
I was going to say the difficulty number
here was going to be an easy
three. These aren't, like, high-tech servitors.
What exactly are you trying to change on this servitor?
I want to
make this... This servitor
seems kind of dull and very
slow and plodding, so I'm going to
turn up the speed,
and I'm going to give it access to
alternative dialects
from other worlds, perhaps to
set up its conversation and vocabulary.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um...
Oh, yeah, we're going to
go launch real soon. Everyone sit down.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Much better.
Having anticipated brain
messing with another servitor.
I'm now going to go through all the pre-scan moves
I do to force into the list of things, so you've got to sit down.
We're going to get going real fast.
And, like, you can hear the engines start.
They start to build up as this is, uh...
As this shuttle is activating, and this thing
is just, like, spewing out
text.
Ah, just like home.
And then, like, one of the
vox units on the sidewall crackles
into life, and you can
hear the voice of Lieutenant
Ransom come through.
Sir, we have detected
a larger settlement in
the Southern Hemisphere.
We will provide you the coordinates so you know where
to land. The servitor is
processing them now, and we'll take you there.
Excellent.
Let's go!
Go for it! Go, go!
Yeah, and with that, like,
the servitor during all of this
is still like,
and just, like, has
quickly escalated to a point of just
incoherence
as the shuttle makes its
way towards the planet.
Oh, farther than four. Which you see is this
almost idyllic, like,
green-blue world.
Like a, like a
terra from old days, untainted
by any industry.
And you find yourself flying
through these, these beautiful,
beautiful, white, puffy
clouds as you enter into the atmosphere.
Um, during, during
the landing process, are any of you doing
anything, or are you just kind of all strapped in and
just, just psyching yourselves up for whatever
you're gonna find? I'm using my terms to be scared for
my life. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is that, is it
possible that while we're flying through the
air, I can perhaps do some kind
of check to see if
there actually are hallucinogens
in the air? Like, we obviously don't have any
on board, like, ah, sample the air.
It's like, you know,
do we have anything like that?
I'd say you'd have, like, some kind
of detection tools that you might have brought
with you. Maybe, like, a small medical
law specs or something like that that you might use.
I'll take that up to the cockpit and compare it.
And try to compare results to whatever I
get off the aspects.
Yeah, and as you, as you do, and you start kind of
loading that, the, the servitor's
head lifelessly turns
to you, its mouth open. It,
it doesn't look like its jaw moves,
it just projects its
to you
as you're sitting in the cockpit.
I pat him softly on his dull
gray forehead.
Yeah, and, and
you, you do that.
Um, okay.
What kind of check do you want to give me for this?
Um.
I'll let you do Medicaid or tech.
One of your, your choice.
That's the big check I can do.
Yeah, do Medicaid. Yeah, totally.
I slam my finger down on the Medicaid button.
Yes!
Ooh, absolutely.
Um.
You, you do not detect
any kind of foreign
substances in the atmosphere
that, that would, that would be,
like, immediately threatening.
In fact, the, the atmosphere
here is perfect.
Hmm.
Gentlemen, I don't believe there are hallucinogens
in the air.
This is garbage. I was looking for a good time.
I crossed my arms mad.
That's a good thing, too.
Because we don't have any
rebreathers on board.
Well, you don't. But do you know that
for a fact? Or are you
merely hallucinating it?
So, uh, uh,
with that statement, we, we cut away
from inside the Arvis lighter.
And we, we cut to
much like the, the planet
exterior shot, this idyllic scene.
We have a blue sky,
big puffy clouds in the air.
A sun raining
down. There's, there's sort of
hills off in the distance. And you can see
these, these burrow-like
wooden doors and paths
that lead out of them. And in front
of them, there are all sorts
of, of fields that have been just
perfectly well-tended.
And this,
you can see figures moving
about around this place.
Um, and they're, they're, they're
very, like, small from where our camera
is. Our camera's kind of focused above
one of these fields. And
then there is this
grinding burn
sound of, ah,
as the Arvis descends on top
of a, like, field of crops,
burning it entirely and
landing in the center of it,
creating this just circle of destruction
around.
As it then puts down its landing
gears and the, the back door
opens.
Oh, heaven.
Oh, it smells like home.
Ah.
I cannot smell anything anymore.
Let's go!
I pat Servitor on the head and tell him he did a good job.
Good boy.
And so are you all just exiting the Arvis?
I feed the Servitor an oil can.
And like, yeah, you're, you're putting
it in its mouth, which is still, like,
just expunging words.
as you're now filling it with oil um yeah yeah yeah absolutely so you you do that are the rest
of you kind of getting ready just to exit through the back the back door oh yeah i'm strapping from
the cockpit getting out of there what's all this then you you just hear this this voice shouting
what's all this then and and you see this this figure approaching um probably i don't know
20 or 30 meters away coming out of one of the uh the wooden doors that's in in the side of the hill
and she's got her arms it's a human human figure she's got her arms like crossed and she stops
again like 30 meters away and she's like pauses and just looks in shock
hello that's that's just hi we have no idea what it is
so i assume i i look around on what we're looking at and uh assuming that the scene
which we're now set on uh is this like a pumpkin patch or just like what kind of thing we're looking
at yeah so so you're kind of um right now right now yeah you're you're you're looking at some like
some some
you're looking at some like some some
you're looking at some like some some
idyllic farmland here we're not quite we're not quite um and in another scene yet but you're in
like this kind of just idyllic farm you're in the middle of a field that has just been burned
probably uh like looking at the the vegetables here there was some some corn and what looks to
be like rows of onions and as this like as this woman like just stares you can see she she reaches
at her side and just pulls out this um looks to be a potato
at her side and just starts eating it like crunch crunch oh
i've never seen these types of cases before but i think you a man of uh inquisitive deafness might want to go investigate that
how do you want me to investigate that i mean don't say hi to it okay very good i will do that'll get right on that pardon me excuse me
pardon me
pardon me
pardon me
pardon me
i follow up with reeb
okay so so to to to set the scene like reeb you're you're going well in advance of the the rest of the group but the rest of the group kind of shuffling behind together towards this this woman who's just exited this like door in the side of a of a hill um and and reeb i want you to know that as as you're approaching you're noticing something and in like the whole scene you're you're having one of those realization moments here like as as you're approaching
you're
imagine
this this this woman's size is not what you would expect she seems quite quite small in fact
excuse me um so of my of my knowledge of the imperium do i have uh do i have an old copy of white dwarf in my inventory
would you would you like to give spend a wrath point to narratively declare that you have an
old copy of white dwarf in your inventory i would like to i would like to cross reference looking
for a certain word a certain being that would be considered diminutive perhaps squat if you will
and also please give me a notepad later so i can choke alpha to death
so so you pull out this copy of white dwarf kind of flipping it holding it like side by side with
this this woman on the page and you're like no like this no no this this isn't lining up and
you're you're going through um another like you're kind of going through pages of this this like
white dwarf trying to figure figure it and it's like you know homo homo sapien rotundus you're
this doesn't quite match um but then you flip the page and you get to homo sapien minimus and
kind of like line it up and you're like oh yeah this this lines up real good
yeah i read what is the official layman's term of that word
please uh align with me thurston is this a rattling or is it a rattling
ah i'll break it to you but we are not dealing with the
uh now
defunct and permanently annihilated race of beings known as the squats
as i had once presumed but in fact our diminutive friends the rattlings hello ma'am that is a quite
a nice looking root vegetable you'll take please let me take a look at that and we'll just get
quieter like getting much jesus yeah yeah yeah yeah and you uh is this supposed to look like this
yes yes this is our background for this
oh
excellent
is your point
uh yeah you so you approach her as she's like holding on to this potato
and and like she's she's she's just intro in fact uh reed your closest can you give me an insight check
all right let me find that button to check
yep i will press the button yeah you got it oh there it goes yeah yeah awesome uh you're able to tell that this woman is in just complete awe
primo as boys Quick nouar.
Oh.
um you you've heard of this type of effect like this would be the type of effect that
humans would have when they might see a member of the adeptus astartes this is like
pure existential dread awe as she's looking up at all of you getting closer and bigger and bigger
and she's just in total shock and snacking on the potato like slowly now but still snacking
on the potato he's probably thinking to himself now is it my eyebrows most people seem to be
afraid of that now it's a great luck brain calls from the back far away from this small creature
uh reeb knows how to talk to short people so he's not going to squat down uh okay so i'm going to
just start off with oh ma'am we're terribly sorry about your field our driver did a great job but
could not avoid causing some minor damage are you where where have we landed in reference to um
yeah and she's just stammering a bit as you turn to zedek uh like zedek you never got a name for
this this place just that it was you know auspex sweep of the planet revealed that there was like
a high density of life forms in this southern area yes uh there unfortunately we don't really
have a name for what we're looking for uh ma'am as i start to trot down the path you're all divinely
tall beings
i mean i'm tall on my father's side but
are you are you here to speak with the mayor the mayor i come up and everything right yes we would
like to speak with your political representative if you don't mind yeah uh just go go that way and
she sort of points down this again super idyllic like there's birds flying overhead pathway that
leads through what you you're talking about and she's like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm
sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry well maybe we could just
we could just tell her a bunch of rattling borough homes uh towards this like larger settlement in
the distance that's just like more boroughs stacked up on each other on rolling hills
that's happy feastings that's the the big town around these parts happy feastings right
sounds good um pardon me um thurston can i please do him like how old is this small rattling i i have
the book can i like do it
medicaid check to find out this is like oh this is an old crone or this is like a small lady or
what is this you can you can okay give me a medicaid check sure yeah absolutely and i need
to figure out because we need a fucking guide what the fuck why are we ratlings alpha busa
uh yeah okay um you know what that's that's enough you can tell that this like this is
a woman who's probably in her like late 40s early 50s but has just worked um like has worked on the
farm but not hard like this isn't someone who's who's like worked a hard life it's more that
they've been outside in the sun and kind of pruned and and withered but like this person
has like doesn't lift things they don't do much work right um they just exist well not doing much
work they are the perfect
guide for us are you going to try to like converse with this person and convince them to
like take you to happy feast things it would be better if we brought someone who is of this place
because i believe we've had issue in the past where it's like ah yeah please just show up with
your magnificent weirdness the four weirdos that you are just show up out of nowhere
i will uh i will happily talk with her and convince her to take us there
yes and she's still like like lowered her head down like not staring directly at you kind of in
reverence hello you can you don't have to not look at us i don't think i'm that ugly but would
you be so kind as to take us divinely tall ones you are divinely tall
and because we're divinely tall
we obviously are here for some divine purpose oh would that not make sense
yes yeah of course it does but but i'm not one to talk shayam you know you want to talk to the mayor
exactly you are you are quite smart would you be so kind would you do us the honor of guiding us to
your mayor uh nod yeah uh well i could maybe um okay what kind of skill like are you looking at
persuasion here oh absolutely yeah give me a persuasion check totally let's see uh let's see
if you can convince this person whose name you really haven't got yet to just be your guide oh
yeah yeah yeah um a three uh yeah yeah yeah absolutely you can you can sort of convince
could convince us uh this lady she's like yes i i can take you just just uh just just just follow
me and she sort of starts taking the lead down the path and and moving towards you
the settlement is it like horrendously slow and it takes forever for her to go or having to like
oh yeah yeah yeah yeah like what tall people do at cons and have to shuffle forward because no one
knows how to walk correct and like as this is going on there's copyrighted music from a certain
movie playing as all of these like small like like diminutive folk peer out from their borough
homes
uh some are looking through windows everyone is is just in kind of shocked awe at like
the four of you walking behind this lady and eventually you find that you're getting into
the settlement that is happy feastings which is just a really big hill that has lines of these
borough homes on it personally i want to point out if a small if a small hobbit by the name of
frill bro brow bins comes out and screams grandolph and
goes to hug lorne i'm going to uh i i mainly i mainly padded away like no get off of me get
off of me i hit it with my stick i'm i'm just looking around and i look at zedek captain zedek
yes brain your family has traveled throughout the galaxy for generations and observed the
worst and the most glorious the universe has to offer am i not incorrect well my father had
but he did not prepare me for this wonderful place and you're carrying on you're carrying on
through this and as you're you're carrying on you're you're sort of going up these winding
paths that lead up the hill at like slight angles uh you can tell that the architecture here is just
made for the barest amount of effort like the reason it's taking so long to get anywhere is
because these roads are like made at the very slightest of inclines
not to cause any physical discomfort and so you could like go you clearly could save a bunch of
time just by like walking you know vertically versus the horizontal crisscross paths you're
taking but but this this woman she's leading you through this pathway really slowly and
blottingly and all the time she's just reaching in and pulling out like a potato and just just
eating like raw potatoes just shoving them in her mouth as brain sees this like his
eyes like his visor eyes just tighten out there's like this whirring of like audible processing
he reaches out a hand a metallic hand that curls around zedek's shoulder in clear consternation
so he evaluates the settlement captain zedek there is no grid these city streets are insane
there's strange circles that lead in roundabouts there's not a single
smokestack there's not a single 90 degree angle what is this world
it's peaceful it's green and i don't like it me neither oh we are in agreement
and at that there is just this immense belch that echoes over the entire side of the hill
that you've now like over the course of maybe two hours reached the top of and you see this
uh hillside borough home with this lovely like blue painted wooden door and out in the front is
what looks to be almost like a like a stand you would see in like a bazaar um which has this sort
of sloped um sloped roof that's just cloth and then a table which is filled with with breadstuffs
and like pieces of of like cooked meat that are stacked
and the the belch you just heard emits from this uh blue garbed uh homo sapiens minimus that sits
behind the table reaching over and grabbing a full baguette and like
crunching half of it into his mouth with this like oh no no by the emperor and like
and and the lady who's like led you here whose name you still haven't got to say is the lady who's like
zero
innate
she sort of like like bows once again and moves to the side and waves her hands over and she's like
Mayor Hogpin.
Why?
I got the reeb.
Oida, I
had some pleasure. And like this
this rotund fellow hops down
like grabbing a spare baguette
in his other hand while he's
finishing the first one.
You
from the capital, are you?
Crunch, crunch, crunch.
A bit more distant from the capital
but yes,
yes we are.
I extend my hand to him.
He finishes scarfing down the first
baguette and then reaches out
this crumb stained hand
up towards you.
I didn't think we'd
get any of the big ones here.
Just in
the capital they say.
And he sort of like takes this moment after
shaking your hand to like
wipe the crumbs off of his
like stained and dirtied
blue shirt.
Don't touch that hand. I don't know
if this game has like disease checks and stuff
but I need you to not.
Don't touch the Doritos! It's not worth it!
That's actually the point of us
coming here, Mayor Hogpin.
We were looking for more
of the tall folk
as you called it who may have gone missing.
I'm just
audibly choking back revulsion in my voice
because my hand just feels so gross.
I can tell you
as I can
the tall ones came here
a few months back
said
they're in the capital now
and they'd be living gods
sent from the emperor himself
to watch over
them for they were.
What is it saying?
Captain, you look remarkably ill.
Is something plaguing you?
Do you need a moment?
I very slowly turn around
to Reeb
and I just kind of extend my hand
in his direction.
Just wiggle my fingers at him and I turn back around.
Is it like I got like a
fountain of flakes come off?
There's an actual
particle effect attached to my hand
as it moves.
This is an
This is an
otherworldly amount of dirty.
But it seems
that we've
the people we've come here to save
or
we should have asked her this.
Do we have descriptions
of the people we're trying to find?
Like
you got the basic
description that like one was
this like ripped guardsman.
One was like a servant of the
Omni-Sci as an engine seer.
You got the
like more
classifications.
But also you would know that
there won't be many people above like
two to three feet tall on this planet.
Yeah, I'm just making sure
of everything else.
Well, it appears that they have
have not actually gone
missing, I believe.
Or something of the sort.
Tell me, do you know where they might be?
Well,
they
they're
they might be in your
capital.
And he's like finishing.
Now you realize is like finishing up the second
baguette.
And this like just this sheen
of sweat is growing on
his forehead and he's wiping
it off and like it actually flies
off the back of his hand onto the ground
and he turns and just starts
kind of doing this duck
waddle walk back towards his
his food stand where he grabs some of
those meat chunks.
Well, uh, I mean,
I'm running
up to him.
I'm grabbing him by his
by his horrible bloated brain
brain brain and I'm lifting him
against the wall with my power
story in my hand.
Do I have to make a check, my dear friend?
Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Give me an intimidation check.
Does he have to make a strength check
to lift him?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
He does not.
I'm going to blow it with the
permission of the party to glory on
this. We have three glory right
now, so feel free to spend it all.
Oh, excellent. I'll drop the three
glory. So remember, you can actually
roll it and then apply the glory after
two. So just just just so you know, but you can obviously
apply it all. So yeah, roll
the check. And if you want, I'll just
yeah, two for right now.
Cool. So two extra dice.
It feels like
loading. Oh, there we go.
Yeah.
A complication.
Oh, all right.
All right.
I'm
how you got to complicate
this one? Can it be to the point where he's
lifting him? There may have been a nut or
something loose in his arm and the colossal
weight of this rattling
because, oh, God, my left
arm and it just starts disintegrating.
You're a heart attack.
I oh, gosh.
I mean, there's so many options here.
Spoil himself.
The mayor just passes
out.
You know
what? All right. All right. All right. You
are going to
to lift him up
and
oh, let's see. What's
a good roll me a D six actually.
Hell yeah, I would love to.
Tell me a D six. Let's love nothing more.
What do we got there? We got
a five. Okay. Okay.
Um,
okay.
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, you
you lift him
up, but
as as was stated, you
weren't expecting quite this much
bulk and and in
your rage, you're not
you're not like quite
you're not quite able to
angle your lift. So you go to lift and
then this sudden like unexpected weight
and you you try to like pivot one
way, but you pivot the other way and
instead of like pushing him up against the wall,
which is probably your intent. You
actually just drop him on the table
of food that causes it to
to break and is now like
surrounded by baguettes and
like a pile of meat chunks
and kind of sobbing
and reaches over and is like
stuffing some of this food that is on the
ground into his face as he
says. I'm stomping on
his hand. No, you are not.
I will stop
doing this.
Listen here, you
16 piece chicken with nobody.
I don't care about your
turkey basting gluttony.
I want to know where the
goddamn priest has gone
and you're going to tell me
or by the motive force I have
you in your entire
honest community
of Luddite and
actualists
from memory.
He's like spewing food out of his
mouth as you
I think they're in the capital.
Can everyone who
is not my brain give me
give me the actually no one's like
I
have to to roll a check here.
Oh no, which I think is like an
immediate complication for me, right?
Yeah, I think my first
check. Yeah, you got a
complication. Yeah. Okay.
So I'm just
that's fair. That's fair. That's fair. I'm just
rolling these dice. Okay, so I would get
one success. Okay, so so as
this is all going on like
the those of you who are not my
brain and involved in this
sort of turn around and
see see
this absolutely
like diminutive
form. We're talking like smaller
than Huckman smaller than prudence
this younger rattling who's
sitting like standing there just
mouth completely agape
at what they're seeing
and
like clearly breathing
like heavily having
just exerted themselves.
Oh, hi.
I wave like nothing's going on.
I
I
saw a crowd has formed
at this point. What do you know?
Starting they're starting to but like
the the the child
is here first and like the the
farmer lady who is here is kind of like
backed off and is sobbing against
the size of side of the the
borough home and and Mayor Huckman's like
sobs are just echoing
down the mountainside now.
As
as occasionally it's broken up by
him still trying to like reach out with his
still good hand to grab more food
and I'm like
yeah, this this child just looks he's like
I used
I used your vine once.
Yeah,
look Captain Zedek.
Yes, we're the
this is merely merely a
game that we play in
in the Ophiucho Ambassadorium.
This is just a greeting
we do to test people's
mettle persuasion check.
Please share.
Sure, now
I'm panicking.
I was waiting for me a complication.
I was going to be so happy he's
just like he's just kind of.
And like looking at Mayor Huggins looking up
at all of you looking.
Is there is there a way in which I can assist him?
He's got zero persuasion.
Do you like you could you could
roll your one fellowship
dice if you want?
Yeah, my my one
thing I come in and be
like let's in here nerds.
I
hear it both.
Listen here you
small you small truck bits.
We're here to find your
defined ones and I demand
you bring them to us.
They're in the
they're in the
capital where in the
capital just
in the in the in the
capital in the in the equator
but that's that's
not why I'm here.
We need help.
Help with what you need help
with. Can I go pull brain off
the mayor, please? Yeah,
yeah, yeah, like like we need help and that's
Reeves just like thing to like
snort brain and
handling the mayor this whole time.
We just like I guess we need
to we need to threaten this small
child.
God paying attention to
the brain brain is
about to he looks like he's about to
strangulate them
brain at this point has forgotten
that he was beating up the mayor and
it just kind of been distracted by Lauren.
I thank him directly in
the direction of the rest of us. So yeah,
and like the mayor is still using his one
good good arm still sobbing
picking up the food off the floor and
like shoving it in his face,
but then but yeah, the child is you're like
pulled over like looks up at
Lauren like seeing some kind of
compassionate soul and
just it is
it is she joins
a transpiring at the grumble
tum-tum farm
the fucking
what hurts
me my instinct tells me to
harm the child, but in my
heart of hearts. I know I should not do that
DM should I point of shock for that?
I
I come down
to the one who dared speak those fucking
words at me. I kneel down
because I don't care about the respect
of these things and I and I look
at him be my eyes. My eyes are glowing
with psychic energy and I go
the fact did you just say
I
I
I
to grumble
tum-tum farm
the fucking
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
I
gonna be having his bbq fucking what i'm going energy i need to please let me straighten him
up so we can talk to the small child and and like you just hear the mayor again hogpin who's like
still weeping in the corner oh no no hedge hedge he's he's he's the best bbq chef in the southern
hemisphere he is i don't care about the bar wait points points i look back and grab it by the
shoulder you tell me where this cook is right now i want my points lauren stop shaking the child
i won't shake the baby i violently shake the rattling baby
uncle hedge hedge is this a grumble chop chop it's a problem
it's a problem
a geraldine a geraldine was coming i i during this moment i want to spin a wrath because because
i'm an old man i'll break my arms to influence the story where i'm shaking this rattling thing
and i'm bringing it up going like point me to the direction of where this thing is i need a cook to
win and i'm lifting this heavy child thing up so you tell me where it is now yeah yeah yeah so so i
i think like
you
like and any of you can step in and stop this from being the narrative direction we're going
but i'm just gonna say by spending that wrath point what you're gonna do is you're effectively
going to use this child like an object like holding him up with your strength of one but
still like divinely inspired because you spent that wrath point to essentially like
hold the child up in front of you and use him as your like guide uh i'm holding your phone going
you keep pointing where we're going i i'd be
going to walk absolutely absolutely so um yeah you you see that um like this this child is is like
just pointing and you start making your way are the rest of you going to to follow born and child
companies and i have to zoran has blown a full wrath on this
zoran and brain combined have caused more havoc in five seconds
any of the previous games we have attempted here
oh it's lovely oh like as reeb as reeb is having this this this like just like
mental moment of standing there as the other three are all running off
they're like the sobbing mayors
wait wait wait is this the child offering no no no no no this is this is reeb alone
reason and now we're gonna go and at least we're getting to the bringing food thing and then we'll be all right that does that make sense?
as the mayor's sobbing
he's just like would you like a baguette
I would like
to go back over to the mayor as well because I'm just
I'm gobsmacked
I'm kind of rubbed Reeb is like
smiling but he's wiping his
hand down his face
I would love that please take a look at your hand
I wish to
fix the mayor's hand
oh yeah give me totally give me a medicaid check on that
please don't
please complicate this
please complicate this
I like how we're praying for
ah okay yeah
you have all of the necessary
medicinals just to make it work
it's just like in again complete
I just located his shoulder
yeah I took
I think sort of like falls onto his
butt and is like in a pile of
his own like food filth that he's
still snacking from
and as like
eventually you two
like make the way to to follow
uh Piebrain and Lorne
who are rushing off into the
uh into the like idyllic
you know noon sun
um
the the other like rattlings are all
just like staring at you in awe Reeb
like you've performed some kind of
divine miracle
oh no
just undislocated his elbow
it's fine I'm not gone
you know
oh now that they've the crowd is
gathered
it's a healer
well
I seem to be um
gathering a little bit of a following
I'm going to look carefully over my shoulder
at the at the rattlings and then
they all like in the circle going
it's it's more
like they're they've kind of like formed
like a procession down the road
so they're all together
healer!
healer!
and they're all just chanting
and pointing on healer
yeah and like
like as you're trying to to follow up
like after you're running compatriots
like eventually one of these
like rattlings rushes out
like
I got shish bad
wort on my back
and I just can't
yeah could you
heal it?
Reeb is clapping his hands together like
as I just did
captain good luck with the barbecue
I have some I have some
talent to show these people
give me a moment
oh god
what would you say the wort is the wort sebaceous
or has it expired yet has it burst
open please take me into your hovel right
now I begin brandishing my surgical tools
ex excellent
are you like edward scissors hands at this point
just shing and it's like fans of
cutting knives and syringes
hey this is as close as I'm going to get
to doing uh any sort of medicinal
work on these non-human beings
so
abhuman
I come back with my rattling
compass so not to split the party and I'm
just standing there in front of the hovel
awkwardly and I assume the child has kind of
calmed down just waiting but any
struggle from it I kind of shake a little bit going
there's no escape
you're staying here
we should go to the
grumble tum tum farm
if you fucking say those words again I will make sure
your legs don't work anymore child
do you understand me
Lorne please stop threatening the child
with dismemberment and leg breaking
this child is threatening my fucking shock values
of my character sheet I will not allow
this to go further down
Lorne your will
is that which can move mountains
and mount movements but
this is a child
do you know what that means it's
stupid and means that it
could learn
child it is not
no longer the rumbly
gumbly gumbly farm
it is now
meat place alpha
you will henceforth
refer to it as
meat place alpha
if you do this
and I grab him by his like
face like squeezing his cheeks
and his chin
I think this is really calming
it's probably not
you will be like me
can you like when you get real close
is your eye like super
like the shutters are super wide
and super bright
yeah okay
um
Reeb can you give me a
um can you give me
one more medicaid check to represent your
saintly healing on these
I eviscerate the shit out of that ward
oh yeah you do you do
and you like you perform all of these like
minor miracles being stopped
essentially every ten minutes along the
the downward path
with with Lorne still like
holding on to this child
basically like you're not going anywhere
you're our compass now
and yeah so so after a while
you you manage to to get like the
the utter like adoration and attention
and
with that you finally
manage to to
kind of undo some of the
negative will that might have been done by others
in your companionship
and um
no no
I spin a rat there's no negative to it
and then um
then you um you you eventually
having having done that
can can make your way
to the grumble tum tum farm
uh
um
it's not called that
I was I was simply narrating
as the game master I was not playing as the child
in that I was simply
oh no I was referring to you as the game master
yeah we're
referring to you the fix your shit
I understand that we are doing
things on a very strict timescale
please if you wouldn't
yeah yeah um and so so you you
make your way uh towards the
the farm um
and it's about a half hour away from
happy feastings once you've made your
roughly two hour descent
from the like winding streets
and performing reeds
miracles throughout the town
uh the farm the farm lot itself is
like a group of structures
that are just assembled together it looks like
uh three buildings that
are sort of placed placed right
around each other with some you know
slightly raised small
stone walls which to you you could
easily step over
uh and then some
some some farming fields all around
as as you start approaching though
there's a smell on the air
uh of like
just like cooked meat
and you can see the small
waft of fog
coming from the uh the center
of the the outcropping of buildings
ah
finally civilization
how much longer
till meat place alpha child
where's where's
real close look look
uncle hedge hedge is starting to barbecue
oh good uncle
hedge hedge is doing a
barbecue
i can't
i can't
i can't read but like look reeb
we get to get our bonus
points once we find
this barbecue chef and see and taste
the quality of his food we'll
get bonus points and we'll be winners
i sincerely look
forward to it but i believe you could have done it with a
little bit less trauma law
oh we're not going to be they're not going to
remember us it's not going to make monuments or
tapestries of this horrid events and i
continue with speaking from
experience i think this child will
remember lorne i'm pretty
sure he will i stop
i stop and i look at captain
zedek and say at
what point do you think this child will remember
well just mind wipe it and i continue
on
i turn to
reeb and i i just
i look at him at the incredulity and say
in a matter of less than an hour we have gone
from dignitaries to terrorists to
possibly both
i'm terrified for the outcome of this
uncle hedge hedge
as long as we don't
kill him we should be good so
you finally you finally reach
the the farm location and there's
there's various ratlings who who
pretty much are like lazing
about two of them are just
sort of leaning on the stone
wall that like allows entry
towards the the three central
structures uh several more
milling about in the center
almost like not quite a courtyard but they're just like
the central space between the three buildings
there's this immense stone
barbecue that has been
set up here that
behind which is
is a character who
looks up as you cross through the fence
and like the the small uh rattling
compass child that lauren is carrying
points is like look look
it's uncle hedge hedge
um and we'll just
uh we'll just share some art
with our players here
oh boy see
i'm excited
ah
let's see uh garrett
did an awesome job
yes i love garrett
garrett's great
yeah yeah and and so so
he just kind of looks up
well well just snacking
on like some some
sausages that he's just plucking
off of the grill with
super calloused
like hands like just grabs it
off and bites in juices
going down his mouth looks up
cocks his
head to the side
you
are uncle hedge hedge
right
that's
right i'm on
hedge hedge
oh no
it can't speak right uh
it it can't
speak correctly
i i don't need this
anymore
as i just dropped the child
no no no no no the child cannot
remember i need to fix this
problem later so
we'll continue for now
okay so wait wait to clarify are you still
holding on to the child i
i put the child down and i look
at the child and i go stay
near me for now
the child nods
i will advance to
uncle hedge hedge and uh
attempt to cure his lumbago i
guess yeah
you you start like walking forward
and he's just grabbing more sausages
off of the grill straight while
also throwing more meat on
you can also see that there's just like
ratlings mulling about here
that are clearly just walking
up and taking stuff off of the grill
and just eating it and
yeah hedge hedge just looks up with his
like little chef's hat and
his uh kiss the cook
stained uh schmuck
are you here
to help with the geraldine
problem
yes what
matter of reflection is this geraldine
is it feet is it anywhere in your
temples is it in your hands your thumbs your feet
your toes your kidneys especially
your kidneys kidneys any sort of
geraldine in your kidneys could
be quite bad
no no no no
it it's it's
geraldine we saw
one on the property earlier
uh
what
don't worry about it keep going
that is a geraldine since it
does not appear to be a disease
it's it's uh
it's a paper eater
hmm
well
you got any people
around here
and like as as you're
having this discussion you just hear
like south just this this
shout out from one
of the from from one of the
rattlings that was stationed near the
entrance and you just hear this
oh oh no
geraldines
geraldines and geraldine let's
i'm gonna look
at whatever he this man is screaming about
and you you
see one of the the railings pointing
over the fence across the fence
that's like across the street
and that's when you see
this immense
creature that bursts out of
the ground like a burrowing
animal and
you see it here
we'll just share it
oh my god oh and it
bursts out with these like
horns and
like tusks and then horns
under its ears
and then these smaller ones burst
out alongside it these these
maybe like the size of the
the ratlings well this one is immense
this one's like someone
took took maybe an
ogre and a half and
put it down forward
um and this furred
monstrosity lets out this
as it pops out of
the ground
and um we're gonna we're
gonna quickly change up the map here
ah
real quick can i spend another wrath to
consult our ever useful
white dwarf handbook
uh you you absolutely
can can spend a wrath point to
consult the white dwarf
okay um
i would like to do so because i would like to see
if this is somewhere in there as well
is the is the white dwarf magazine
going to be our 40k guide
to the galaxy
absolutely thank you very
much he got it for free from
the inquisitor he's working under
yeah
you spent you like flipped through the
pages of white dwarf to try to determine
what a geraldine is and the geraldine
must be some kind of like horrible
apocrypha fan fiction thing
because it has not appeared
in the ass of white dwarf
seems to be like a fraud but not quite
oh well
and uh i think
i think with that like we're
gonna jump into some combat but i think
now's a good opportunity to maybe take
our first break
welcome back everybody
man we just had a long tutorial
session and yeah
i would have never
thought that i could cycle between my builder
units by pressing the cycle
or
by pressing
military
squad note of the small blue
bar just under the squad's health
welcome to the dawn of war tutorial
so
effectiveness of your unit in battle
and wow so for for
context of that i really there's
bare back screens a lot of things do i just
wanted to do something neat so chad i hope
you appreciated that
we hope you liked it
amazon now i gotta
start all over welcome to the dawn of war
no no no
rebound horn has died
uh we'll be seeing a new opening
for warhams so
no
okay
we are back
so we last we left off we're
uh we found out that there's a weird
general dean and we're helping out the barbecue
cook things are happening
what's going on yeah so
where we last left off was uh uncle
hedge hedge swine tooth was uh
doing a barbecue at the grumble
tum tum farm uh those are
all just words i wanted to put together
um and as the the
players approached realizing they could
acquire uh uncle hedge hedge
four bonus points for the their
ambassadorial score
um they received like
shouts that something called a
geraldine was approaching and uh when
that did happen
uh it burst out of the ground along with
some smaller creatures which the uh
ratlings have referred to as geraldine
lits
and uh we are we are coming into combat
now as this uh this tense situation is
unfolding now
quick heads up many of you uh might be
tabletop role playing fans how combat
works in wrath and glory is pretty free
form in that always starts with the
players and the players get to pick who
they want to go
first and then it's kind of a back and
forth between the players and the gm on
what activates so
as we start this encounter there's
really like a surprise moment because
everyone was kind of alerted
um i'm going to pass it over to our
players to decide
who they want to activate first okay um
so i did have a question does anyone
intend on like rushing into melee with
these guys
because i feel like we have a little bit
to shoot at them all right look at i
look
i'm looking like no i will die as soon
as wind touches me so it's uh
so this is what i propose i propose reeb
go first
to walk up and shoot then i'll go then i
can go next and do some psychic powers
and then brain can move and then brain
can move up because by that point they
probably already advanced so you can try
to get a
quick killing and then it's last to
finish people off
oh that's actually very true okay yeah i
think that's about
so let's ask everyone good for that i'm
missing
sounds good excellent all right so read
it yes here we go man read it i think it's a good spell
take it away all right great uh so my
speed is
six it's able to move
let's see how many squares all the way in
that direction
there yeah you can totally move there
and get behind cover
yeah i'm going yeah cover from their
deadly ranged attacks
you never know and i don't think i can
hit with
that range no i cannot
you can always try
uh
yeah
yeah it's but it's kind of within range
i'll go for it so what are you what are
you going with
oh of course i'm going to pull out my
flamer and i'm going to attempt to
assist the barbecue man and making
barbecue except it'll be very fast and
very burnt
yeah yeah yeah so so flame weapons are
um
they've got some some unique rules in
this game uh which we're using a variant
of just to make sure that they work for
this so
um you can hit a number of targets up
to your ballistic
skill which is what currently my
ballistic skill
is three okay so you can nominate any
three of these
uh creatures because they're all within
the uh the 12 inch max range of your
weapon
i will i will activate uh these three
as fire candidates
perfect and then you just you just make
an attack roll and we see
what happens versus their defense all
right uh no bonus no penalty uh just a
no bonus um no penalty because they're
they're all in medium range 40 yards yes
and they're all standing still perfect
they want to eat they want to become
barbecue chicken barbecue chicken
as soon as it'll load
it's a cop so you're gonna hit them
you're gonna hit them
um but in hitting them you're also gonna
have a complication
oh no i hit the fuel tank yeah yeah yeah
yeah so so let's let's find out what uh
what happens here with the uh the couple
of
two
which is a 16 which is a 16 on the
combat complications
so let's look at that
so i rolled min on and max
okay perfect so so that would come out
as a 16
which a 16 on the combat complications is
you run out of ammo
so you you just let the entire tank
rip on these uh these creatures and it
just like
blasts out flame so you can uh you can
your damage on this is going to be
10 plus 1, so you can give me
a damage roll.
Dice bonus?
No dice bonus on this.
We do have 6 glory
of the span if you want to spend all your glory on it.
Oh, wow, we have 6 glory?
Yeah, chat awarded, son.
Listen, you dumped
my fuel tank, so I'll tell you what,
I will dump the wrath pool.
Or the glory? Yeah, the glory pool.
Okay, cool, cool, cool. How many glory
are you going to put into this?
Throw me, give me 4.
I'm fine with it, we got 4 it is.
Throw 4 bonus dice on this.
4 BD.
Bonus dice.
And I get 1 bonus damage mod?
No, no bonus damage.
No bonus damage mod.
I press the blue button.
Ah, terrific.
Yeah, so all of those
bonus dice do nothing.
But you did 11 damage.
It doesn't look like it even rolled them.
It's true, it's true, it's true.
But your
damage is pretty reasonable.
You end up
torching the 2 in front
immediately.
Just
gone.
With that being said, however, the other one,
I'm going to spend one of my rune points,
if you could please mark me down
a rune point, I'm going to
spend it to have the Geraldine
make what's called a determination check.
So the Geraldine was going to take 3 wounds
from that. I'm going to roll
determination, which is a thing.
I can roll that essentially lets
me stop that. Or reduce it,
I should say. And
Geraldine reduces that by 2, so it takes
2 shock and
only 1. Cool.
And yeah, and I believe it's
also on fire.
So that's a thing.
Which I'll mark off here.
Because, you know,
making me on fire
is kind of jerkish. But I'll take it.
I'll take it.
Cool. Yeah, yeah.
So the first 2, you just go up behind there.
You unload with your
flamer. It clicks empty
as you just burst through the tank.
The first 2 let out this, like,
screech, this meh. Now, I'm
going to give a bit behind the scenes.
Now, you can tell that the death of these smaller
ones triggers some
kind of effect
on the big creature.
And this is a special rule
that I have for Geraldine called
Oh No, My Babies.
And you can tell that the Geraldine
is none too happy that 2 of
its offspring have been
tortured in front of it.
And with that...
Did you drink my Prometheum again?
I only had a
little! Why did I
expend my entire tank in one gap?
This is your fault again.
It's alright. We'll talk later.
So, I'm going
to activate here, because
yeah.
And so for people to know for the initiative,
it's basically, we go, and then enemy.
We go, then enemy. And also
just sort of preface things. For people who are still
donating to people who do wrath points
and stuff, when they already have full,
once they're cat, we can't give them anymore.
So, I'll just take someone who donated, give it
over to Reeb. So, Reeb, you have one wrath point now.
Yeah, alright.
So, what I'm going to do is I'm going to activate
with the Geraldine lit here.
And that little buddy's
going to move.
Does he make noises?
So, he sort of
like skimpers
on all four and goes
and gets
to the center of the street and looks
up at Reeb. And though, as though
punishing Reeb for
prior statements, like
Reeb, like, wrecks
back his head and then goes
forward and this just
spew of like
green acidic substance
flies out. I am in
cover.
You are in cover.
Oh, and I roll a zero
to hit you. So, this acid just
hits the wall and splatters
and goes
And, yeah,
passing it back to the players.
So, it's my turn now.
And you know what happened?
Apparently, the warp itself
is against me. So, no matter what I
do, I'm going to have to roll perils
of the warp because it's going to be a
complication.
Yes!
So, I'm going
to move forward
and I'm going to trust
in my compatriots to
defend me. I'm going
to look at, uh...
You know what? Brain, I'm
going to trust that you can take care of the big
one. Good? So, I'm going to be
here in case I need to be in cover for things.
I'm going to look at the little one
and I'm going to use a
psychic power called
Crash.
Crash.
And so, basically...
Which one are you using? You're using this on the little one?
On the little one.
So, basically, it's probably going to kill
immediately, but
they don't answer the complication.
So, Thurston, could you roll
the perils of the warp for me?
I like that you're... Why are you making me
roll it? Why aren't you rolling it? I want you to
be rolling it. Oh, sorry, sorry. I do need it.
So, it's 2d6. So, 1, 2...
So, I got a 61.
A 61, you're saying?
I was meaning for you to...
To read it for me.
Yes, yes, yes, yes. 61.
The Veil Thins.
The air within
25 meters of you thins
causing living creatures to shepherds
shortness of breath and dizziness.
All creatures are hindered
too. In addition,
one raft dice must be added to
all your psychic tests for the remainder
of this scene.
So, basically, you have an even
bigger chance of...
Yeah, yeah.
A bigger chance of just, like,
causing more perils as you summon
all this warp energy. And, um,
hindered for the rest of you is
essentially plus
one to all the difficulty on every test
you have. And that's going to apply to every test.
Ugh. DM, I raise my hand.
Yes. So, this
hindrance comes in the form of the
shortness of breath. Is that correct?
It is magical warp shortness
of breath. I suppose
you have artificial breathing, so
you're fine. Ah!
Oh, joy. Always been on
brain, baby. Alright.
That's why people probably want me
to complicate things. So, I assume that thing's
defense is, like, pretty low. So, I want to
upgrade the two
sixes I have there to be...
For my additional thing, which is a plus one damage
difficulty at the strength and willpower test, because Crush
basically, to describe the psychic power test for people,
I reach out and I
grasp my hand into whatever my target
is, or multiple targets. I basically
grab it and, like,
constrain it with psychic power so it
can't move or do anything else. Or I
will not move, and I'm, like, constrainting
it with great power. And it
does ten plus one additional damage die
and additional damage die. It does
activate, so I do eleven damage
total to it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that is
way more than enough to kill
this poor thing. You just, you, like,
wring its neck psychically and toss
it to the side, and it falls down, and
you just hear this immense
roar from the flaming Geraldine in the background.
I'm moving in, in, in, in, in,
in! Um,
yeah.
Lauren, why'd you make a big ball?
It's like a little circle of meat now,
just in its splats
onto the road. Yeah!
Yeah.
Alright, so now that thing
goes. It does
go, it does go. Uh,
so the Geraldine will go, and the
Geraldine will move,
let's see here...
Here.
Yes. Okay.
Moved up menacingly,
going, nah. Moved there, moved there.
It kind of, like, like, starts, like,
bounding forward and stops
in front of the, uh, the wall there.
And Reeve, you see this, and it,
it sort of, like, looks
at you and takes a back
swing with its mouth and comes in and
tries to bite you. Um,
now, I'm suffering a,
a, ooh,
a minus two penalty here that
I'm just going to, uh,
to have to apply manually
somehow, so...
Or just adjust it
mentally, mental math.
Yeah, yeah, I'll do some mental math.
Um,
as I roll my attack, and...
What's your defense, Reeve?
My
defense is not terribly
high, I don't think. It's two.
Is two.
I have to scan across my whole sheet
to fix this up.
It should be in your combat section.
The last two non-wrath, which would be two and a one,
so those would be ignored, so I'm going to get a two.
But I think you also have, you have the cover there,
so you're going to be fine against this attack.
So it kind of comes in and is sluggish from being
out of breath, and...
It also has to make, um,
an athletics test,
which is really going to suck
for it, because,
um, it's also at a minus,
minus two penalty, so let's
see how this goes.
It's still on fire. Loren, will you roll me a
d3? I
sure can.
But it's not a thing, so
let's roll on d3.
Boop! There you are.
It activates. I believe in it.
It'll go. Okay, cool.
And yeah, you can see the fire is, like, melting
and crisping its skin, and it roars
and goes, ah!
Yeah, so the Geraldine is in the
center of the road here on fire,
and, like, attempting to bite at Reed,
but failing terribly as it's on,
you know, fire and pain.
Alright, back to the players, so...
I think I will go, and I'm going
to look down at this child,
and I'm going to grab him, and I'm going to say,
Now look here, young man.
This is the power
of the Omnissiah!
The safest place is with him!
I'm going to put him on my shoulders,
and I'm going to charge the Geraldine.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
By the Montefiore!
Cross for Lemuria!
And I'm going to charge
and all-out attack.
Sure.
And so, taking my crackling power sword
out as my servos crash
under the grass underfoot,
throwing plumes of dust as I
advance, I'm going to begin
calcing up what I'm getting here. I should be getting
plus one
for the attack.
Yep. Okay.
And I'm going to complicate.
What's up?
You're going to complicate?
You're going to complicate the hell out of this, I hope you know.
I sure fucking hope I am.
All right. Let's swing our power sword.
Wobble.
Okay. That is going to
get a wrath.
Yeah. Do that re-roll.
So how wrath points work,
everybody, is that basically
so everyone knows how the game works, he's already 16 on two dice,
so with a wrath point, he uses that to
take all those failed dice
and then re-roll them again, and that is
just an addition to what he made. So basically he has
two sixes, which means plus two to result
and then normal successes, which
are fours or higher, so he has
three hoorays and then two
mega hoorays, so he gets a total of
seven. Cool. Yes.
So I'm going to ship those two exalted dice over
to bonus damage, and then
I'm going to get two for an all-out attack
and then I'm going to drop our
two of glory into this as well.
Oh, wow. You are just going all in. Okay.
I sure am. I'm fine with him spending the glory.
Yes, yes.
All right. So just...
Bringing the sword down
for
18 points of damage.
Yeah.
So you
bring this down towards the
Geraldine's skull, shouting
out praise for Forgeworld Lemuria
and you go down,
but the powers of chaos are
fickle.
Sorry, will you take a rune
dice off for me there? Sure can.
You have four left.
Yeah, I'm going to spend a rune point here
to have the Geraldine
survive on one wound.
As you just miss whatever
its brain stem is,
whatever central thing, and then you
pull the blade back out
and it looks up and just
turns. So for those
of you who want a bit of explanation,
I can spend rune points any time the players
would kill an enemy and basically
say, nah, they live with one wound.
So,
yeah, the Geraldine kind of
still on fire, by the way, just
looks at you and
now
that would be the end of the player action. I have
my action and
all of the things that have acted for
me have acted. So instead
what I'm going to do is I'm going
to... Zedek's still got a turn.
He does, but what I
mean is I'm going to have
I'm going to have a little
little Geraldine-let.
Pop up
out of the ground
right there. You have a second one
under us if you want that there, too.
Yeah, sorry.
There you go.
Cool. So yeah, this Geraldine-let
pops out of like a burrow in the ground
and looks around.
I'm intimidated by its teeth.
Zedek, I'm going to give you a free action at the start
of your turn. Can you give me an insight check, please?
Absolutely.
With my large
giant hands.
I could click any faster, I would.
We believe in you. Go!
Go forth and roll
as it takes forever for the thing
to have a turn
roll 20 work!
Oh!
It's a complication.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alright, so
since this is a free action
I'm not going to use it to be like incredibly
punishing. But what I'm going to say
is you do succeed on your insight.
You know, like you can tell all of
these ratlings sitting around, like
they just need someone to rustle them
up and like get them going
because you see they have slings, they have
farmer tools, like
Uncle Hedgehedge has like a whole bunch
of implements. They're all like
just kind of standing around not doing anything
yet, but you could, you could easily
easily muster them up. Now the
complication is they seem to just
be like way more indolent than
usual, even in the face of this. Like
kind of like, ugh, looks like...
someone's dealing with the threat
so we don't have to.
But you could tell, you might be able to press them into action.
You know what?
I think that's exactly what Captain
Zedek's going to do.
Yeah, so that would be a leadership
test as an action. You could also
combine it with another action if you want to
do something else. It just increases the difficulty
by two, which may be really bad because
you're also out of breath and everything is difficulty
too high.
So choking on the air at the moment,
I'm going to stand up straight,
look at this clearly handled situation
ahead of me, and say,
Hey, peanut gallery! I know you're
standing around waiting for the barbecue to be done,
but there's work to be done too.
Why don't I add another piece
of meat to the fire and...
Oh god.
Just hit that one.
I'll make a leadership test for that.
Yeah, give me a leadership test on that.
Oh, yeah. So yeah,
you can tell that they all kind of look up like...
And even Uncle Hedgehedge,
he's like...
And if you kill it,
you can eat it!
You also,
as like a player option, Captain Zedek,
you can, at this point,
now that you've successfully motivated them,
you can spend a wrath point
of yours to trigger
Uncle Hedgehedge's
unique combat ability,
which I'm just going to tell you the name of. It's called
Soupson.
Soupson.
You don't have to say anything more.
I would love to spend a wrath to activate
the Uncle Hedgehedge feature.
Yeah, yeah. So you, like, in your
motivation, you put, like, this...
Like, even though you're gasping for air,
as are all the other ratlings,
then just, like, Hedgehedge starts
madly grabbing more meat and, like,
Soupson, boy!
And everyone's kind of, ah!
And they're picking up farmer implements
and, like, basically spending the rest of their action
getting ready for some kind of combat.
Yeah.
And you still have a movement if you want to
move around, Captain Zedek.
Yeah, I will move another
couple spaces
that way.
Cool.
Hi, Zedek.
Hi, Lorne.
Man, it's getting hotter here or something. I can't...
I made chaos farts. My bad.
Oh.
Everyone's choking
on it.
That brings us to our next turn.
And
I'm a bad,
bad person, so I'm gonna
spend another rune point at the start here
to, uh, seize
the initiative. Hold on.
I have an objection to that.
Why?
Do you have any glory? Ah, there's
one person who hasn't moved.
The child.
What?
All right, all right.
You're gonna hand the child your
power sword? Go on, give it a good swing
there, kid. There is
one hit point left.
On this monster, the child
has yet to prove himself
before the Omnissiah.
He might have a chance to act.
All right.
All right. Um, you're gonna have
to spend a wrath point for that narrative
declaration. That is a-okay
with me. Of the child.
Uh, I'm going to use the
the rattling farmer tools
with a severe,
like, penalty here
because reasons. Um,
and we'll see. We'll see. We'll see how this
goes. We'll see. I-I-I am
willing to give him my gun.
Um.
Just let the sword- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. You're
going to give him your gun. Your
radioactive gun.
It's only a little cancer.
Oh my god.
I know I was getting
dark, but come on.
Please do not cook the
tater tot.
Oh my god.
Oh no.
All right. Um.
He's not using your cancer gun.
Okay, fine. I won't give the child
cancer in the funny RPG.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Jack, we all agree that it's-
it's-
Never mind. We can't. We can't.
Everybody gets under it.
Everybody gets under it. Rain thinks about it and then doesn't.
And then the child
misses.
Like,
the child's so distracted because
he's clearly got this, like, weapon. He's trying
to hit the child and you're like, no, here, take this.
It's like candy with the radium pistol.
He's like, what?
I have a question.
Can I spend- can I spend
my own wrath to
try to narratively let the kid
hit it?
I don't know if it's possible to do.
I'm willing to spend my wrath. Are you suggesting you want to do
like a Final Fantasy-
esque prayer sequence for
the child?
I want to use all the-
I want to use my sacral levitation
for us all to circle around like it's the Odin
Summon and infuse
this child with the-
I'm willing to spend all my wrath points.
Yes, yeah. I will
allow you to do it and I will then
modify it so that the child
is hitting with the same
stats as the, like, the regular
farmers would.
Just to see. Just to see. So it's now
that's now infused with psychic energies
where like, you can do it, child!
I'm like nudging his little hands
to like grasp it better and hold it better
and like kinda influence it with like my psychic powers
like, you can do it, son!
Oh shit! It got two sixes!
Oh yes!
It's all sixes! And it's two sixes!
It hit!
Uh,
uh, oh god, okay, okay, okay,
okay, uh,
child hits! The child
can shift an exalted
dice for extra
damage!
Extra damage? Let us see!
Let us roll the power sword.
Oh god, it's- the power sword?
No, he was not taking the power sword!
I thought he gave him the power
sword! No!
Fine.
Ooh!
Ooh!
He does- he does a total of five
points, which is not to beat to the Geraldine's
resilience. Now again,
now, you spent two wrath points, though.
So, so I will say that your second
wrath point, prayer, fuels
the child for a slightly
better other attack
damage- or sorry, damage roll here
and we'll see, we'll see.
No, I rolled terribly.
Uh, so- I mean, I'm okay with
just doing a reroll instead to bump
up those dice. I'll spend
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay, fair enough, fair enough, fair enough.
Everyone give this child your
energy!
Give him my energy!
Give him my energy!
Um,
uh, like, the child
the child is like, just
I wanna have my mind
wiped! And, like, just, like, grabs
the power sword and
shoves it through the Geraldine's
like, one remaining
eye and, like, just
jams it in there. Are you- you're allowing
him to have the power sword break? Of course
I am! And he's just, like,
shoving it in with all his power
and, like, the Geraldine's still on fire
and, like,
and then the Geraldine just, like,
finally flumps down
dead.
Are they
a messiah?
I come- I come
out to the child
and everything- We're not out of combat yet!
We're not out of combat!
Kill it! Kill it, Mac!
Reeb, kill that thing!
I blow all of my Rune dice
on killing this in one turn.
You- you monsters! I'm just
gonna say, I'm going to spend a Rune dice
so you can actually mark that now.
Um, and I'm
going to, uh, seize the initiative. I think you have three left, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um,
because, I think, yeah, you took the one off already.
And then I'm gonna have this guy go
As this
Geraldinelet walks around
you, and, like, this
somber piano music starts
playing, as it comes up
beside the corpse of
of its mother, and just
like,
and it, like, it kind of, like, flumps
on its belly, like,
trying to poke at the, like,
the head of the Geraldine
that is still crisping from the psychic,
you know, uh, from the flame
or fire on its back, and the power
sword through its- like, this Geraldinelet's
just, like, poking it, like,
meh, meh, meh.
Okay, so
Are we
technically still in initiative?
Well, now, now, that's its action. It's just, basically,
I wanted to spend a Rune to make you feel bad.
Now I'll let you go. The players
can decide which order they want to go.
Can I, can I please go?
Yes, of course.
Okay, so, I
walk up to it.
Over here.
I look down at it, then I look at the child,
and I go,
look at the child,
and so it's like, uh,
Which child?
I don't care.
I look at the rattling child,
and, uh,
Okay, so I look to Reeb,
and I go, Reeb,
I really wish we were
out of initiative so this could work.
What do you want to do? What do you want to do?
At this point, we can be out of initiative.
Because it's just crying now.
Reeb Van Horn is living.
It got defeated by depression.
So, Reeb, Reeb,
if you could come here, please.
Oh, of course.
May I borrow, uh,
do you still have, like, a pistol,
or does Zedek have a pistol?
Before you ask that,
ask why you're asking for it.
Please.
Okay. Captain Zedek,
could you come here and everything?
We must teach the child.
We must teach him.
Soap's on everybody, get your food,
and the rattling's evolving.
I ask Zedek, may I borrow your pistol?
No.
Actually,
Lord, be honest with me.
Are you just going to execute this poor thing?
Yes.
The child must learn.
He's already learned enough.
What do I need to learn?
Since no one's given
me a weapon, child,
you'll now henceforth
be known as
Tater Tot. And for
your valiant,
your valiant bravery in battle,
you, you have been
awarded this name. And I fear
it might be time to introduce to you
the Imperium of Man.
I feel you become an excellent
rattling
in the forces of it.
And
I need to test your willingness to
serve the Imperium of Man. You would make an
excellent candidate, perhaps a rattling
sniper. It would be wonderful to see
you excel. So to this point,
I point my hand
over to it to get ready to do a psychic
power. Will you let it live,
or will you let it die?
And the, like,
the Geraldine lit still vainly
poking at the, like,
head of the mother. It's okay, whatever the child chooses.
Oh, the child's just, like, looking at
this tiny animal, and
like, looking up at
Thorn and Chat. Chat, what does
Chat think the child should do?
Oh, oh no. Shall it live,
or shall it die?
No.
This is not the Imperial way.
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill,
kill. The flesh is weak.
Kill it is.
I, I look to the child. Well?
What is your decision?
Geraldine
lit shall, Geraldine
shall problem your
child, or you can't let one live
when they keep coming back?
Then I go, very well.
I close my hand and do crush.
Uh, can you also roll me another d6
because you have another bonus wrath dice on that
That's right.
Just one d6.
I actually forgot to do it, and that's a three.
Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. Yeah, um,
you, you, you, like, you, you, like,
snap its neck, like, there's
Oh no, I don't snap its neck.
I pretty much go, good.
You see it go
into, like, a ball as tiny as I can
make it, and I bury it in the dirt.
Zoran the bear confirmed
for psycho.
This is the 41st
millennium, and it ain't cute.
You're living in the 20th century.
Uh, yeah, uh, you, like,
if I had
tater tot.
Welcome to the impairment of
man, tater tot. Brain,
please, uh, give tater tot
the, the, the button, the clicker
thing that summons a ship at some point
to get recruited.
Do I have one of those?
I thought you took a second to just go,
I mean, like, generally speaking, you'll be
able to dispatch shovels later, like,
this is just like a, you know,
this is just kind of
a, like, initial reconnaissance machine.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
This child is not
going to simply join the imperial
guard. Look at him!
And I hold him.
He has the wisdom I found this sire
with him, young boy!
And I'm holding him now, like, by his head.
Alpha,
if you're listening to this, we need art
for tater tot.
I guess tater tot's gonna become a tech priest.
I'm gonna call that the work of the bet collector.
So, tater
tot companion acquired.
I will teach you
everything I know.
How does tater tot think about it?
Please don't mutilate this boy.
Just like, like, like, completely,
completely just stunned. And like,
as this has happened, like, you notice that
four of the ratlings have now just
kind of surrounded Captain Zedek.
I suppose
that means dinner's
ready, boys.
Excellent, I- Can we follow you?
Yes.
You, you got a
speak good voice.
I do.
For those of you who don't know,
Captain Zedek, he has thousand yards staring at
this scene unfolding before him, just like
Captain Zedek has a talent
that allows him to accrue
devotees, and so
so now he has some, some
rattling devotees
who will follow him around
and basically be able to take hits
for him. Okay, so
as he just said, Chet, I want you to, I want you
to picture this in your mind, exactly what he just
said. Devotees for
a rogue trader. If you ever played
a 40k tabletop and know
what the look out, sir thing is,
that's exactly what that is.
So you'll see flying fat ratlings going
look out, sir, and then just
take shots.
That's exactly what it is.
The mashed potato platoon.
Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yes, Arendelle?
Uh, for that, for that
act of wanton animal
abuse, is this where we're going to
be receiving our
first little point of corruption?
Uh, I, I,
I mean, like,
What happened to you setting them
on fire?
They were attacking us then.
Yeah, that's what it was going to
as well. It attacked me with its
feelings. You didn't have
to do that.
I think, I think I need to point out, I'm
I want to save corruption for
something truly heinous. And I don't
think we're even close to the bottom of the barrel
with this. Hell yeah.
High-blame, canonically lawful
good.
No, that is not what I
said. That is absolutely
not what I said.
You're condoning this.
I don't want to be
on record saying I
strike you down.
I also assume that Reeb is a
like, cracking open these corpses
and looking at them. He's cracking open the
large one. He is not touching
the meatball of the baby because
he has some standards. Thirsty.
Well, sir.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You go through the, the
like, burning husk of the corpse.
Oh, she's still on fire. Right, yeah.
Yes.
An autopsy. Well, it's on fire. I've never
done this before.
Um.
Yeah, like, there's, there's a bit of a break
after this and we can kind of
go back to the
farm. To the farm.
To the firm. And, um,
and yeah, as we're back on the,
the, goddammit.
I need to,
I need to zoom in on that. Oh, wait, hold on.
Wait, wait, we can't go back to the
farm yet. Hold on. Are we still,
no, we're not done yet. We're not done yet.
Oh, you're not done. I'm just, I'm switching over to the combat map
because, like, Uncle Hedge,
Uncle Hedge has just put together, like, his
food, which you can all partake in.
Yeah, you know, you've worked out a bit.
That raised some, like,
concern levels. Um,
and yeah, as, like, this is going on,
Uncle Hedge is like,
Oh, it seems like you won't
take the boy.
Yes, and, uh, we would also, uh,
like a taste of some of your barbecue.
As, uh, we are in the
market for, uh, someone
with good cooking.
Boutique chicken, here you go.
I, I, I take
a bite. What, how many diseases
do I get? No, it's basically
like the best food you've ever tasted.
Oh!
Like, you, you, you, you bite into it
and it's perfect.
Everything about
this food is
perfect. My mustache
and everything is risen. I have, like,
psychic lightning coming at me,
like I'm, like, a super saiyan and going,
We got a
bonus points!
I look at him going,
You are immediately hired.
What am I hired for?
Someone in the chat
wrote, I've got
cholera! I've got cholera!
What, what you talking about bonus
points? Well, uh,
Captain Zedek, please explain.
I'm gonna eat this chicken. I go
off to eat the chicken.
See, as part
of our diplomatic mission,
we are rewarded for
doing certain things to advance the cause.
And you,
Uncle Hedge Hedge, are
a stellar example of
imperial culinary talent.
In fact,
so good
that we would be honored
if you would join our crew.
And if you happen to have someone
else who is
slightly less good...
In locked space?
Excuse me?
In locked space?
Up in the space?
Yes, up in the space.
Up in the space?
I'm waiting for the uncle
to start going...
I mean, kind of now, yes.
I got my halfling shoes
on!
There it is, Robert Q.
Pitt halflings!
Uh, I could,
I could coke up into space.
Yeah, that, you know
what, it would work perfectly fine. In fact, if you could
find someone who is maybe
a little less talented that we can pretend is
more talented, that would be
swell, don't you think? I'll go up into space.
I've just, I
gotta deal with none but Geraldines
here. Are there Geraldines in
space?
No. Maybe, but they'll never happen.
You'll never see them. You'll never see them again.
I really like how everyone had
a different answer.
Yes, no, maybe.
Would any of you like to make a
attempt to, like,
persuade, intimidate
It's all Zadig, man.
Yeah, let's let the good captain
here see if he can
convince Uncle Hedge-Hedge
finally to join the
crusade. Oh damn!
And it's a glory, too!
No!
And that's a glory, glory, hallelujah.
Yeah, so you are not only
able to, because you can
shift one exalt, because it was only going to be
a difficulty four for that. So you can
shift one, and you can not, like,
you not only manage to convince
Uncle Hedge-Hedge, and
who you learned their previous name
was Lilgo, but now Tater Tot,
you convince basically
the entire staff of the Grumble
Tum Tum farm to
join you in space.
Uh oh.
I would list off the names
of ratlings that Alpha provided
me, but I will save those for another
day. You know, I was
going to ask them their names, and I had a couple great
names for them if he didn't already.
I, um, I
come up to Captain Zadig,
and I go, as I
assumed, like, things are getting filed in, and, you know,
paperwork's in, we send a server down, I don't know.
Then, uh, we're like,
Captain Zadig, quick question.
Yes, Loren? I don't like this place.
Nor do I like the name of it.
As much as I'm aware, we
do have cannons upon our ship to
basically orbital bombard any position
on this planet. I know we usually save it. I put my finger up
to Loren's bearded face, and I
say, not yet.
I violently,
I vibrate
angrily, and I leave.
I appreciate
that the first thing you wanted to use
your bombardment on was the Grumble
Tum Tum farm.
At this point, a brain has, like,
climbed to the top
of one of these rooftops.
Yes. Rooftop buildings. And it's just
with Tater Tot still in tow,
has his sword out, and is just
screaming, and henceforth
your history shall know this
as the Battle of Meatplace
Alpha, where the
glories of the Omnissiah are in
the name of the Forgeworld
Lamiaria! And, like, no one's listening.
I'm still screaming really loud.
Back at some point, like,
a TV aerial that is, like, loosely
fastened to a roof.
The child is very much
just like, uh...
Okay, so
with that, let's
just say that you've managed to recruit
these halflings from the Grumble Tum Tum farm,
you've got Tater Tot,
and so the ones that I think
will go with you, we'll have Tater
Tot join with you,
I suppose, and then the four devotees.
But Uncle
Hedge Hedge and the rest of the Swine Tooth
farm are going to stick
around, and they'll be picked up later. So, like,
video game logic,
you're gonna be able to extricate these
guys from the planet later,
yay, bonus points.
But you do
know that,
um, from your talks with
Mayor Hugpin, that
these other, like,
divinely tall beings
supposedly live in the capital.
In the equatorial
region of the planet.
Yes.
And I suppose it's too far
to walk. Oh, yeah,
yeah, that you definitely have to take, like,
your Arvis there.
To the Arvis, then, boy.
Indeed. Yeah, they're going to have
to travel either way, but before
we go, we probably should gather
one, a couple resources if we can.
I know we're still looking to get food and
manpower for the Mataratum.
So, with
my Medicaid check, did I learn anything useful
about the Geraldines?
I mean, aside from the fact that apparently they can make
a good barbecue.
Um, like, so you
note that the Geraldines, like, the younger ones
would have, like, digestive acid that
they can, like, spew out.
The actual Geraldine, um,
has, like, a, like,
horrific bite attack. And though
you murdered it before I got to use it,
you could tell that, like, the
mature form of the Geraldine was probably
really well suited to
rolling.
Like, had you not have
killed it with the child
interruption narrative declaration,
it, you might have all been in
a perfect, like, line
setup for it to have
rolled all over you and basically
do some kind of
na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na attack.
I love Beyblades.
It's a good show. It's a great show.
Yeah.
Well, nothing in particular.
We're not going to be coming back here in any
regard. In any case, you could eat these.
Sure, we can.
Uh, excuse me.
Pyke, are you done monologuing?
Ah, yes. I jump off the roof.
Do you believe that these would be suitable for
nutrient-based usage? We are a little low
on food at the moment.
Hmm, I suppose so, yes.
Though it's more than likely
we would have to refer to the only
expertise these, uh, horrible
these beings, uh,
partake in, culinary arts.
Um...
Oh, are you done with it for
the most part, by the way?
Ah, yes, nothing of particular note.
Acid bile ducts and strong
jaws and very thick
pointed backs. Nothing of
extraordinary note. Ah, good, good.
I'm going to reach over and I'm going to rip off
one of the horns.
Oh, yeah, yeah, just like crunch rips
right out. And I'm going to give it to
Tater Tot. This is yours.
This is your glory.
And then I'm going to leave it there.
And like, yeah, just kind of like
stroke my glory.
Yes!
Good.
The child grows.
Um, yeah, so, okay.
Uh, so you, I assume after
doing all of that, you're going to make your way back to
uh, the, like, the farmer's field where you land
at the Arvis?
I would hope so. Yeah, okay. So you make your way
back there. You know what, I would like to
make a narrative declaration if possible
while we're leaving. Absolutely.
Knowing that we are
in dire need of food as part of our mission,
I would like to make a brief stop in
the town itself and announce a little competition
for the denizens. Okay.
Absolutely.
You don't even have to make a narrative declaration for that.
That's just you doing something.
Um, like, what,
let's see here. So you're wanting to kind of
like, I don't know, like
some kind of
cooking
contest?
Residents of
Happy Feastings, I,
we do appreciate your reverence
for us divine tallest.
But,
you can do so much more
and be with the tallest
yourself. For the
tallest must eat
and eat lots.
So we have
devised a little competition for you.
Whoever
can cook the best meal
may serve in the presence
of those who are even taller
than us, the tallestest
among the divine.
You have
48 hours
to cook the best meal possible
when we will return and judge it.
I was hoping you were gonna say
you have 48 hours to comply.
I, I think that's gonna
probably be a leadership test
because you're basically trying to
like whip these people up into
uh, into like a very
specific kind of action.
So, yeah.
This is a cooking war.
Goddamn!
That's a nice roll!
That's a glorious
moment.
Yeah, I'm going to
not only say like
this will be a big success,
this will definitely
um, complete
your need to get like the
foodstuffs.
That kind of build up will get them
and like, at least this
town is going to be able to provide
your necessary quota of foodstuffs
for your ambassadorial score.
I need to uh, can I have Reeb
do something real quick, taking
Zedek aside?
Oh yeah!
Please, Captain, if I may have a moment of your time.
Of course, Lord.
I'm not...
Sorry guys,
I'm a bit lightheaded still from
suffering earlier.
Sorry Reeb, I'm...
I'll have to take a look at that a bit later, don't worry.
Little is fixed, you never hurt anyone.
In any regard,
we need to um,
so if we're talking about getting points,
correct? Since everyone is very
keen to be in on this hip and
happening trend of
points,
do you think that we might get more points
if when we order this
massive competition
to be going, that we just so happen to
pull in a
requisition for
our very
esteemed Katia Van Nord
to drop by for a quick inspection?
I think that's a wonderful idea.
But you know,
from what it seems,
this uh, Uncle Hedge-Hedge is a pretty
pretty good cook.
He's scratching his butt while you say that.
I would almost feel bad
yielding such a wonderful
resource when we could get someone
just as, just as
good as him, for the esteemed lady.
I think she wouldn't miss him
if she didn't know he was there.
You fucks! You find, like, the first
good rattling cook and you're like, this one's
ours!
That's precisely my thinking.
After all, who would want one
excellent cook when you could have
an entire dozen,
several dozen, multi-dozen,
hundreds, thousands
of stellar rattling cooks
working in your
kitchens, cooking fast, fast
feasts. I'm sorry.
I'm sure she wouldn't miss one.
You understand full well.
Of course!
Besides, much as I
appreciate Pius cooking,
I much, much
too much dislike the taste
of motor oil and
C150 grade chemical.
I don't think I'm particularly
keen on having another organ replaced
either.
And uh, with that...
You see him in the background, yeah, tapping on his runic
sundial?
And uh, with that,
you all make your way back to
the Aditi farm, where you find that the
charred field is
empty. And as you're approaching,
like, the harvest is gone, but then another
one comes down
from the sky and lands, torching
the farmer's second field.
And opens up
the back,
and you can see, like,
a much, like, lankier
shaped servitor in the
front.
I approach,
I approach, oh, hello!
Which one are you?
Greetings.
I am Servitor
the DM.
That's cool. I push it to the
side and I keep walking in.
I am
your pilot.
I was assigned here
after it was determined
by Tech Priest Gamu
4224.
That the prior servitor had
been tampered with.
Does servitor
smoke a lot?
Yeah, a little bit.
Hi kids.
Kids on the office. I need a smoke in my
watering can.
Yeah.
Hi, it appears as though your good
friend Gamu has decided to
send you another message. Please go to
it! And I shove him very brusquely.
What do you want?
We are beginning the
fake-oof sequence.
Okay.
We have to go to our next objective, boys.
Top top!
On our way to that, Tech Priest
Gamu 4224
has assembled a list
of ongoing maintenance
requests for the debt collector.
Audibly for the
review of Captain
Zedek, item the first.
Captain Zedek is going to put his headset
in and just ignore this.
Since the entire time it's like vapor,
it's like
and then like outside.
The reactor is
woefully under-maintained and requires
updating
Just turn up your music device
and
Reba's the only one who's going to
listen to all of these.
Like taking meticulous
notes on the death trap ship he's on.
Brain has made sure Tater Tot
takes notes while he doesn't.
Oh wow.
Is Tater Tot strapped in?
If not, I'm going to help you.
Tater Tot, so all of you are on one side
and then on the other side are the four
ratlings and Tater Tot.
Wait, wait.
On top of that,
do we have a child seat, but it looks like
it's like a grey knight, like whatever
that thing's called, like baby carrots.
It's themed like that?
Yes!
There's absolutely one of those
like friggin' dreadknights.
It's all themed.
If we don't have a child seat,
surely we have an overhead luggage compartment
or something.
Please don't torture this boy worse than he already has been.
Don't put him in the luggage bin!
It'll be safer than being
over here!
And get rattled around as we
break ammo?
Have you been rattled around in this thing?
Do you remember the first time we took one of these damn things?
I buckle in the rattling child
and everything else
and it's like, you're gonna be so good at killing.
And then I go to my seat.
The Emperor!
The Omnissiah!
Wrong one!
It can do both.
It's the wrong one!
I'm going to help Tater Tot get strapped in
if nobody else is.
Alright, I already buckled in.
We're all settled in.
And the Arvis begins to
take off, and you can
hear it sort of blast
off, probably destroying the third
field of this farmer whose name you
never got.
How did the third field take off?
It probably just turned and then
fired its retros and burned the third field.
And yeah, you're carrying on
again over this idyllic terrain,
but as you're making your way towards the equatorial
location that you know
where this large city would be after conferring
with the debt collector,
you can see that it's becoming night out.
Night out.
The sun is setting
as you are heading towards your destination.
The servidor
continues on.
Requisition request number
192.
192?
Zedek's waking up from his nap.
The recycling systems
in the lower decks are
suffering malfunction.
We have lost three
crew members in the past
month.
Suffering malfunction.
Captain Zedek,
what are we going to do with
the thousands of
tribals that are
inside of your ship? It's basically
Necromunda down there.
They keep doing things, and last time
we checked on them, one of them was
yelling, Bordaka,
another one, our brethren.
They're
causing a ruckus of the place. I never go
down there anymore.
Well, my usual way of
going about dealing with them is letting the cults
in their own ranks
maybe have a little divine intervention every
now and then, but
we're just waiting for a chance to dump them on
a planet, and then I'm sure they'll take
care of the rest if we need them to take care of some
bad guys.
It should be
noted that the deck collector
certainly has a lot of different
groups and tribes that
inhabit its lower levels,
particularly just factions
that have formed, be it
strangely
off-shoot
religions, or
people who worship
certain aspects of the ship, or
people who have essentially turned into
gangs. There's a lot
going down in the deck collectors.
You know, we could probably tune in
and see what they're proselytizing
today, if you'd like.
One of them saying,
I have a pad open
that's like, there's cameras
looking in with some crappy audio,
and it's like, some are saying,
Daka, there might be the digger knobs.
Praise the
great claw, for it chooses
the worthy.
Would you like to see me probate this domini?
I don't speak
mygothic.
I don't either.
And then you hear this clunk.
Clunk.
Is it like a warning system?
No, no, and then the ship shakes a little bit.
Clunk.
DM,
what is going on?
Clunk. Like, you're just hearing this clunk sound,
like something's maybe hitting the exterior,
and then there's a bit of shaking in the arbus.
I'll go outside
and away.
Do not.
I would implore you to reconsider.
I'll open a window.
Just
defenestrates the party.
DM,
status report, what's going on?
Issue
number 230.
Fucker, watch out, you're about to hit us.
Uh,
like, so are any of you just, like,
leaning now and looking into the cockpit?
Yeah, so all of your heads,
like, lean over and you look,
and you see that the, um,
like, the cockpit window
is covered.
Like, it's
this, this runny
liquid substance that's
like, completely obscuring the
outside.
Huh.
What?
I should deploy the, uh, countermeasures.
I'll turn on the windshield wiper.
Yeah, you, you, like, I,
so I assume, Zedek, you're, like, going into the co-pilot seat
at this point? Oh, yes.
Yeah, so you, you unstrap, like,
and you, you go and you activate the, the, uh,
the holy wind, windshield
wipers. Ah, yes.
Taken out by the blood angels during
the second space hulk of that STL,
the windshield wiper.
Hey, we lost a lot of good terminators.
Me, terminators die.
They bring us this technology.
And yeah, you, so you
activate the, the, the holy windshield
wipers. And that's what you notice.
Like, there's, there's this, like, almost
um, white
liquid that's covered up
a lot of the, uh, the cockpit window.
And as the, the wipers move it, there's
this, like, chunks in it.
And you see what are clearly, like,
like, hunks of
potato.
And some carrots.
And then you hear this, like, this
ca-thunk. And can you give me, uh,
an awareness test really quick?
Sure.
Yeah. So aware.
So aware. Ooh.
Uh, not quite aware enough. Some, you hear
another ca-thunk, and then there's just this, like,
deluge of more, um,
like, white liquid
and, like, various little, like, chunks
of food stuff that start, like,
peeling back on the
cockpit. Alright, do we have, like, a
hatch on the roof or something?
Uh, on an Arvis liner?
No. Yeah, we're
kinda stuck in here.
It's, it's kind of a terrible box,
like, unarmed, or
very, yeah, unarmed, terrible
craft.
Don't say that
too loudly to me. Yeah, you know,
I'd do it again. Uh, so yeah, you, you just,
you hear this ca-thunk, and then, yeah, the
windshield wipers are desperately trying, but
And then the
servitor. Unable to
establish proper visual
parameters.
Hmm.
Um.
Where are the, where are the, uh,
where are the escape systems?
The one of the, the ratlings?
Escape system?
Can I find a parachute, please?
Um.
Are there no parachutes?
There's no parachutes.
This is the Imperium of Man.
Do any of you know why there are
potatoes on the Arvis?
Alright, time to find out. Everyone strap in,
we're on outside. I'm gonna look around for, like,
a, like, a rope or, like, um,
latch thing.
You know, like, something, something to kind of
latch myself to the Arvis.
That's when you, as you're looking around,
uh, all of you feel this sudden
lurch, and there's this
sound from the right side,
and, um,
Zedek, you see that the, um,
the, the starboard
turbine, uh, engine
has, like, just had a
massive, like, backup,
and has exploded
internally, causing you to
start losing altitude rapidly.
Uh, I'm going to very
frantically, uh, strap in and
engage the manual override.
Nothing to worry about, just a little
turbulence. I'm just pan-panicking, like,
oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I didn't want to actually have to use my
skills. Yeah, um,
so I, I'm assuming you're gonna try to, like, make a
piloting test in order to level this
out? With gusto. I'm going to attempt
to keep us from- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to
attempt to keep this box from becoming a coffin.
Okay, so you're doing that. Can I go up and give him a strength assist?
Uh, Reed, what are you wanting to do?
I want to go up and give him a strength assist to pull
on the throttle, because I know how, I know,
I've, I've flown an airplane a little bit
more. Yeah, sure. I held an airplane
before. I know how bad that is.
You can definitely, like, go
over there, um,
and that leaves, uh, Pi, you're still trying
to, like, look for stuff to go out?
Yes, I am. I, I'm
trying to make in the aerial
pairs. Okay, okay, so you're
like, I'm going to open up the back seat, just wait.
Um, okay, and, uh,
Loren, what are you doing during this? I'm
freaking the fuck out.
I'm sitting in my chair. How does Loren freak
the fuck out? I want to die!
I try to cast Levitate
on the Arvis to keep it from falling.
Yeah, give me, give me
a psychic test. Sure, this is bullshit.
I love it.
I'm okay. No, I want to
see you peril. I want to die.
Here it comes. No, no, I'm good.
Oh, that's
a nine. That's it. So you're,
you're using your, your, your psychic powers
to try to stabilize it. Um,
Reeb, can you give me your, uh,
your check to, to assist, and then we'll have,
uh, well, then we have Captain Zedek's
piloting check, which, which is okay. Uh,
I think, I think we'll see how Reeb helps
out here. Yeah, that'll be, I don't expect
much from me. Yeah, no, no,
but you're, like, pulling back. So
what happens here is, like, Captain
Zedek and Reeb are, are,
like, Reeb's pulling back on the throttling
with Captain Zedek, and Zedek's trying to maintain,
taint it. There's more of these ka-thunk,
ka-thunks that are happening. Uh, Pye,
can you give me a, um, awareness
test? No! Yeah, sure.
Yes! No!
Not allowed. Do it!
Do it now!
Uh, you, you kinda, you kinda, like,
are, aren't noticing anything during this, but there's
more, like, ka-thunk, ka-thunks as, I don't know.
And so what, what, what, go ahead.
I'm not gonna strap myself in.
I'm a strong guy.
I've had to, I've probably
had to do this before.
Um,
so I'm going to make sure everyone's strapped in,
and I'm going to open the pod bay doors, Hal.
Bracing myself.
Yeah, I think there's only, like, a back door
that opens. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so, like, it goes, like, comes,
like, like, all the
all the rattlings are, like, pulling
out potatoes and onions and, like,
just snacking on them, like, nom, nom, nom,
nom, nom. Um, they stress
me, the bunch of them.
Um, and you don't even know how
they hide these on them. Kindred spirits. Because, like,
they only have so much room, but they've been eating a lot.
Um, yeah, and what you,
what you see as you open the back doors, Brave,
is you see these, like,
what your visual processors
uh, process as,
like, ceramic pots
flying
in your tailwind and, like, heading, like,
hurtling down towards the surface.
Whaaat?
I'm going to, um,
I've got long extendo arms.
So, yeah.
I'm going to,
I'm going to try to
pull myself up on, in between
the engines.
See what the hell is going on in our room.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yes, Arendelle?
The only
thing playing through my mind is, like,
Metal Splug 5's boss music.
It's so funny.
Yeah, and, like,
Zedek, Zedek and Reeb are, like, madly
pulling, and it's very clear, like, their efforts
aren't, like, aren't doing too, too
much to, like, stem it. But, like, in
the back, Lorne's just like, meh, psychic
powers. So Lorne's really doing
all the work to prevent this from
being this terrible crash.
So, story-wise,
it's, we're still crashing.
I'm to the point where I'm, I'm
doing all my psychic mount enough
to make it to where we're not going to hard crash
and all die, but just enough towards
as gentleness as a landing, but still pretty
rough, that we can make it.
Yeah, exactly.
So we can make it to the crash.
And so, I'm just gonna roll something
here.
Four, five, six...
Oh, we're dead.
Oh, yeah. Perfect, perfect, perfect.
Oh, dear.
Head on, sir.
Ah, well, we'll see, we'll see.
Okay.
So...
So, Pi, as you're up top,
you start seeing more of these ceramics
flying, and, like, one of them,
like, as you're witnessing this, one of them
slams into the other turbine, and it
bursts into flames.
Can I try to make a reactive action?
Pieces shatter. What are you wanting to do?
Oh, I want to try to shoot it.
Yeah, sure, give me an attack roll. This is gonna be, like,
exceptionally difficult, though.
That is a-okay.
Please shoot the other engine out.
I hope I do.
I really do.
I always love a party that's like,
I wanna fuck up.
We're all gonna die!
Um, yeah.
Okay, uh, let's
let's find out what this
does.
The good news is that it's a radioactive
pistol, so it's probably not going to
do catastrophic physical damage.
Well, you know,
we should-we should
learn this here.
Um, can you roll me 2d6?
I would love to.
Yeah, please do. Please roll me 2d6.
Let's find out what
the result of this is.
Oh.
Forty-five.
That's a higher special.
Okay,
okay, okay, um.
Yeah!
Yeah, so you
go to fire your pistol, and
like, as you're doing so,
this
ceramic bolt hits you in the chest.
Uh,
exploding, covering you in potato
soup. Um, and
doing, like, eleven
total damage, so with your resilience, I think
you take two wounds from that.
Uh, I do. I guess I'll try to soak them.
Yeah, yeah, give me some determination
here. Yeah.
Which will reduce them and turn them into shock.
Um, and your-your
pistol, like, goes
just, like,
blasting across the
side of the hull, missing what you
were intending to-to do.
Nice. And,
yeah, so-so as that-yeah, yeah, so
you take two-two-two shock hits it. Yeah.
And then your pistol,
um,
falls out of your grip.
Oh! Oh.
And it- That's bad.
It tumbles away.
Oh, I do-I do observe it.
That was a shock. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um, and it just, like, goes into, like, the
black sky. I
as I quickly want to do,
as with my
psychic might-fuck, I don't have
any wrath. Ah, fuck.
Ah, fuck. Hold up.
Can I- You're literally all intimidating
a child! Yeah.
Yeah. Don't-don't yell at
me. Wait, do I-do I
even have the thing? Wait, no, I do!
I have-I have phantom grip,
and as I'm sitting here and I'm, like, doing the levitation
stuff of the ship, I feel the
kink-kink-kink-kink of the gun, and
I go- Okay. I'm gonna allow
this butt, butt, butt.
There's a big butt here. I'm okay with the difficulty of things.
And I also have wrath. Yeah.
I'm going to say- Well, no, no, that's ended, so.
I-I'm going to say that, like,
you can do this, but this is not, like, you using
your powers in your typically controlled manner.
Like, if you wanna do this- Actually, no. Someone did give me a
wrath. In-in-in-in brain.
So, they just did it. Okay.
Okay. I'm still gonna say you
have to make this test at unbound,
which means you have to- I'm fine with it.
watch your wrath dice for this, because you're-
this is not your typical training. This is you
freaking out and using your psychic powers.
Oh, that's fine. That's fine. So, I'm gonna- I'm gonna hold that
wrath. So- Yeah.
So, unbound
at this point, I basically add
two wrath dice, right? Basically, it's two
wrath dice for this trick. Yep. Cool. Alright.
So- Oh, not that one.
Not that one. We did that one wrong. And, boop!
No, no, no, get button!
I will own you! Alright.
Phantom grab!
Oh, yeah!
Oh, yeah, buddy!
So, the question is, I- So, the question is, I-
I have the one wrath dice there.
Do you have the second one?
Yeah, both of them went through.
I did two bonus wrath on it.
Okay, because only
one of them is showing up as the wrath dice, that's why.
Yeah, I guarantee you I put two
wrath dice there. If you want me to, I'll just roll another
d6. Yeah, just roll another d6.
Okay, that's fine. It's a three. Okay, perfect. Yeah.
Cool. So, yeah, you grab
the pistol as it's flying
in the air, and manage to, like,
bring it back in.
Well, also, holding your
levitation, because you have a talent that
lets you- Yeah, I have a talent that allows me to do that without
any difficulty, so. Yeah, without
added difficulty. So cool.
And so that's when the
the shuttle, like,
and we have, meanwhile, again, in the front, Reeb
and, um, Reeb and Zedek
who are, like, madly pulling the throttle, trying
to keep the shuttle from crashing, and
beside them, the servitor, who's like,
issue number three hundred and twenty
five. Um, and
then the shuttle, like, makes this
this controlled
crash, and, like,
at this point, the engines are on fire,
but, like, you manage not to be
too badly beaten up as you crash
into yet another
field.
Oh, wait, do I go flying off?
Um, yeah,
yeah, you totally would.
Uh, let's see, what kind of skills
do you have that might mitigate some of this?
Uh, I have athletics, um,
I could see that we are
immediately going to crash, and
perhaps make a break back to the, uh,
jump off the plane so you're not
going at the same speed as the plane anymore.
Give me an athletics
give me an athletics check.
Sure, I'm willing to spend, uh,
glory on this one. Okay.
Yeah, you got two. This team's relatively
high stakes.
Now, we play this.
Oh, no!
Alright, wow.
Um, oh, god, this is
this is some cute shit.
Oh, yeah. Yes, this
is the pain that I needed in my
life. Alright, um...
I can't load the stream
either, so this is great. Roll me, roll me a
d6, goddammit.
This determines how many 10
damage I take.
Uh...
There's anything I've learned to do over the
years, it's how to articulate
I hope you guys have liked Pi Brain, this will be his
last session. Hold on.
Oh, no.
Alright, alright, here's what happens.
Okay, this is, this is
so good. So,
what happens is, okay, this is machine
spirit. Yes!
Some technology in the scene malfunctions.
Um, so
what happens is, as
this is going on, meanwhile in the cockpit,
the servitor is like, issue 312,
and stops.
And then disconnects themselves,
because this one is, like, freestanding.
And turns, and makes his way
towards the back of the
ship, as Pi is on top, like, has
been having all this happen. And
as Pi loses, like, their footing,
as they're just trying to get out,
um,
he falls, falls
off the back. And, like, this
gray, dead
hand reaches out to grab
him.
And the servitor, the
DM, pulls
Pi back
in, but needs to, needs to, like,
leverage themselves
to do it. And so, basically, like,
uses all of their servitor's strength
to throw Pi
back into the shuttle, but
then is ejected out the back, and
hits the dirt, and starts rolling, and, like,
breaks apart on impact
as the shuttle crashes down.
Damn! Nooooooo!
Ah, we get another one.
Oh, yeah, that's fine.
And I am immediately
just, like, as,
well, we should probably crash before
I do anything. Oh, the crash is still
so light, like, you just, like, you, you,
you basically rush into dirt.
There's, like, a slight impact,
but nothing too shocking, because
Lorne is just sitting there, like, la-la-la-la
levitate. I'm, like, freaking out,
like, veins popping, like,
I DON'T WANNA DIE!
Like, it just, like,
slides into the field, I imagine.
Like, things on fire and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And, um, yeah.
So, let's...
Flying in the distance, breaking apart,
and it hits the ground first, and goes,
.
Okay.
So... So we've landed.
Yeah, and you, like, exit
out of, uh, exit
out of the wreckage of your Arvis
with both engines just
completely, like, burned
out and ruined. You find yourself,
like, trundling through
pumpkins?
And, uh, yeah, chat brings up
a good point. When I set this up, I didn't fuckin'
expect that the players would have, like, eight rattling
with them now, so let me just drop
those on the map.
Look out, Sir Tokens!
Please look out, Sir Tokens!
When we all get out of the
aircraft, I'm just gonna...
Hm?
One more time, your robot at the end there.
One more time. Reeb is dusting
himself off, and he says,
Ah, another happy landing.
I count, uh, just
to make it easier on you, Thirsty, you
just wanna assume those rattlings
are there, and we just do a counter of it, so we don't
have to dominate play space?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So,
yeah, what I'll do is I'll...
Yeah, we'll just assume that they're
there, and, like, are around, and
yeah. But for all of you, you can
kinda see them. Um, and
yeah, you've crashed here. It's this, like,
tranquil night. Like, you
can still see overhead these pots
being hurled, and, like, you can hear
off in the distance the, like,
breaking of ceramics. Look, I see
chat is asking for tater tot. I did
not expect that tater tot
becomes such a big thing here,
so we don't have art. So that's gonna
be request number one to
our artists. We'll just say tater tot
is safe in the thing. Lauren,
we're coming out of the iris, she's like,
tater tot, are you okay? Are you okay, tater tot?
And, like,
you just hear, my glory,
it's safe.
Good, good, good, good, good.
I get a blanket, and I, like,
arrange things, and, uh,
I get out, and I get a, you know, whatever
a fire extinguisher is called,
in the 41st millennium, and I make it
all safe. And it's like, hey,
you go, here you go. And then, uh,
everything else. Apparently someone drew art of
tater tot in my Discord. I gotta find where
that is. Oh, no. Oh, no.
Someone needs to ask me.
Oh, my God! It's
so good!
Give it, give it to me!
There it is!
Put it in our chat, right here.
Put it in the chat.
Hold up.
I don't know where that is.
Pippington, or, uh,
ChimpPip in my Discord.
It's so good!
Hold up, I'll put it.
Fellas.
Oh, my God!
Oh, God!
I'm so happy!
Connection here, guys.
Okay, okay, we're done, we're done.
Yeah, one sec. Oh, Lord.
Okay, uh...
Is everybody okay? Are we all in
mostly one piece?
Action's
fluctuating.
I...
Oh, sorry. You're...
Oh.
You're still good. We can hear you, Aaron.
Okay. Holy crap.
It is laggy.
AF. Okay, uh, just
do your best to fix yourself, and we'll continue on,
and we'll get to you when you can. Just fix it.
So, I'm taking a fire extinguisher,
and I'm doing what I can.
And...
It's just...
Walking out of a slander,
he is completely
calm, eerily
still, and is just
chanting the litany of the Electromancer.
And, yeah, like, the Arvis
is, like, on fire behind you, and as you
can see here, you've kind of got this
this, um, like, light around,
but otherwise it's super dark out.
Like, the sky's pretty obscured.
Um, you know that there are, like, essentially
the equivalent of, like, flashlights and
or flash lumens in there that you
could grab and utilize if you
wanted to. There'd be probably two if
any of you wanted to take one.
Uh, Zedek?
We should probably
get flashlights. Does anybody else not have one
that they do need?
I could hold one. I have a hand,
kind of a hand free.
But I recommend you, Captain Zedek, to
hold a flashlight for your followers there.
Uh, yes,
the mashed potato platoon.
Lads, are you okay?
Are you dead? You don't seem to be.
Well, maybe.
Are they eating again? I think they're just eating again.
I think they're fine. They're, they're, they're
just, like, also grabbing, like,
different, like, tiny pumpkins
and stuff from around and stuffing them
in their pockets. Are they also, like, using
the fire of the Arvis as, like,
a cooking area? Yes.
Clearly.
Oh, nuts.
The map's black.
Look at the top left.
There you go. I gotcha there.
And they're, like, crunching on food
stuff. Can everyone
give me an awareness test, please?
Actually, uh, no, never mind, never mind, never mind.
This system does not do that.
I do a thing.
I do a thing.
Um...
Okay. Um...
What's everyone's passive awareness?
My passive awareness...
Yeah.
My passive awareness is, um,
not great. Okay.
My passive awareness is two.
Two. Two, two.
I need you to look at mine. Two.
I can't look at how bad mine is. Actually, uh,
yeah, mine's, like, two.
Okay, so, so, you do all suddenly hear this,
like, this sound coming
from this direction,
and it sounds like
marching feet on stone,
like,
Hmm.
Well, I
And then you hear louder,
marching.
All right, boys.
Gotta be on the
lookout for them.
There should be around
here somewhere.
I'm gonna bring them back
to the capital.
I put tater tot
with the other ratlings and go,
Please take a tater tot. So just to make sure
tater tot's fine. And, uh,
I begin making my way that way,
which I'll move just once this way.
Yeah, can you give me just a, like,
flat-out awareness test?
Sure can. As soon as I click the thing,
go into the thing,
clicking it, and that's a
glory.
That's a glory. Cool.
Except you rolled an athletics test, but that's fine.
Oh, did I? Oh, my bad. Hold up.
I got it. There you go.
So, glory.
Yeah, so,
Oh, my God.
So you have these flashbacks to, like, a past mission
where you, like, heard, like, someone refer to his voice
and you're, like, all sorts of worried, and you start
looking down, and you realize, like, seeing
out in the distance, you've seen a small
light source.
Here, I'm just gonna
Yeah, just do a little
I'm trying my best to make sure everyone in chat
sees what we got, so if you gotta point us to
something that's different from
what's in the middle, just shift-click it.
Yeah, I'm
I'm hoping you'll be
able to see this is all.
I'll tell you
if I've said anything new. I have to go
As you set that up.
Is everyone fine?
Everyone good?
I'm okay. I would also
like to check on the, uh,
platoon and tater tot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go ahead.
Oh, sorry.
Which one looks to be the surliest?
Anything close to a leader among the four.
You can
decide what the leader is.
Sure.
A particularly surly one.
Probably not the brightest looking either,
but he just happens to be the biggest, so he's the de facto
leader.
I'll go up to him and I'll get real close
and be like, keep tater tot safe.
That child is more important than you can
imagine. If you do this,
I will promote you. You have everything
you need.
All right. Okay.
What's your name?
I guess you're kind of a soldier now,
so what's your name, soldier?
What is my name? You can name me
him. He's your minion.
I do have a set of names.
Let me pull up one of my horrible
names here. Oh no.
Yeah, that alpha forced us to make.
I think the alpha named each of them, I think.
Uh,
he did not name the grumble
tum tum farm. That was me.
I have four names.
All right.
I am, uh,
I'm Bell Hog.
Bell Hog Fort Feet.
Fort Feet?
Yes.
All right.
All right, Bell Hog.
If you do as I
asked and keep him safe,
I'll give you a new title.
Maybe another
name.
I'll pat him on his gross
little head and I'll meet up with
Loren.
Also, just to fix Arendelle,
I don't know if Arendelle has sight on the map or something.
Do any of you have sight or is it
all black for all of you?
Awesome. All right.
I wasn't getting the light.
So as Teotot
is now hopefully safe, I begin
to make my way towards the
source of the sound.
Here, I'm just gonna give you some
light to yourself here.
I'll take the flashlight.
Hello!
Okay, I'm gonna let you, I'm gonna move you down
to where I need you. There you go.
Yeah, I think you can kind of
make out, actually we'll
move to
there. And as you kind of like
head down towards it, you see some
figures.
What kind of figures?
Are they grotesque?
They are!
And what
you see is another group of
rabbits. These ones are
marching in like a
gaggle, one could say.
And they're just
sort of heading down the road.
Oh my god.
And they have onions
on their belts, because it was the style at the time.
Um.
And I see them and I'm like,
well Brad, it seems we've possibly
found some rescuers.
I would not be
so sure. The Omnissiah
speaks through me and
urges caution.
And gratuitous violence, as always.
There's always gratuitous violence.
Oh, of course, of course.
Get down!
Are they speaking to us?
You just hear this voice,
get down. You don't want
them to see ya.
I get down inside the
pumpkin patch and I look around to see the source
of the voice.
You see nothing. Just
stay down. You too,
red one. Get down.
Oh, who dares?
And I'm going to look down and see
who the hell this is.
Both of you can give me awareness tests.
Yay!
Awareness test.
At that I click.
There we go.
And I bring
out a complication!
Yeah!
So,
so clearly, Brain,
um, you make some kind
of movies.
Undoubtedly, it's my whirring servos.
And like one of these,
one of these, these rattlings come
as looking
over the field while snacking
on an onion.
I turn
my head to look at him.
Hmm.
Then he turns
and walks away.
I was about the
cat's crush.
Alright, well they saw us,
what now? Be quiet.
Hey, I don't see you.
Just stay
quiet. I have a question.
How do not see the burning wreckage
over the field?
That's where they're going.
I don't see you though. You should get your friends over here
quick. Oh, okay.
Hey, Brain, go get our friends.
Alright, yes.
Friends, you need to come over here
and there's a problem.
I grab him. I will fucking crush you.
Do you understand me?
I will forge you a new asshole
if you don't quit your shit and do it silently.
They're just the rattlings.
How bad could it be?
Are you saying
I can murder
them?
I'm saying that if they cause
problems, then
they are points
with legs and heartbeats.
We must consult the others
first. Go get them. Indeed, indeed, yes.
I'm going to...
Hello, friends.
It seems as though there are some
rattlings playing traitor and
they're looking for us.
Isn't that weird?
I don't...
Are you sure
they're traitors and they're not just
the party trying to find us?
Could be the
people from the capital.
Might be some guards. They probably
fired their suit bombs at us.
Suit bombs? Yes.
Well, I was about...
Suit bombs.
That's what it seemed like was being shot at us.
I took a hit right in the
middle of my chest. Even dented my
logo a little bit.
They'll pay for that transgression.
And then you just hear from the southern
pumpkin patch.
Keep your voices down.
They're walking away.
They're too lazy to cross the
stream to check it out.
Who...
Who said that?
Gather round.
Gather round.
Gather round.
Walking out from
the patch, and Loren, you can see this,
is another ratling.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Oh,
gosh.
Oh, dear.
Hello.
Yeah.
Hi. Who are you?
Stop.
Why is this framed like it's in a
romance visual novel?
Are you jealous?
Is this not the path you picked?
No, I don't want...
I did not roll the ending.
We are gonna talk
using this.
And, yeah, I think
that is
where we're going to...
to call it for tonight,
I think.
Oh, yay!
Oh, no!
Thank you so much.
Yeah, that was delightful.
And I hope...
I hope everyone had a good time playing.
I hope everyone had a good time watching.
Yeah.
Thank you guys for coming out.
Yeah, absolutely. Thank you all for being here.
And, of course, throughout the entire
stream, I've been asking everyone with the
thing to basically be rolling on
through it and everything else, so I've...
At this point, I've been having Nightbot basically
take all of your submissions. If you have not done
explanation point at Lion Audio now,
hopefully you can get into it. Basically,
just so you know, basically they're gonna
bring out a USB mod mic and those headphones.
They can be shipped
basically anywhere, so no matter what country
you are, we'll be able to try to get that
to you. So be sure to do that now
to kind of win on that giveaway. I'm gonna
be doing it here in a minute as we kind of
do some of our little outro stuff.
So for one, I'd like
to go around the horn so you can
all follow us on various things. Not to mention
we also have a Patreon
at the same time as Patreon for
Warhams. We wanted to make sure
you at least enjoyed the first episode.
And if you did enjoy the first episode, we would
greatly appreciate it if you guys want to have it.
It's not required. You're still gonna get
the show and everything else. And I would just say thank
you to everybody who's been contributing so far.
You guys have been amazing. We hope you come back.
This will be every other Saturday,
by the way. And for people looking for
VODs and stuff, VODs will be posted
into the future, so do be
aware of it into the future. We should
be back on the 11th. Not the
4th. The 4th is actually a holiday for America
and something, but we'll be back on July 11th
for the next episode.
And so with that, going around the horn,
the person who has played Brain...
Yes! Speako T!
You can follow me on Twitter
at SuperSnakeKick
and you can also subscribe to my
YouTube channel, which has a dearth of content,
but might be getting more in the future, called
Speaker D.
And the person who's been playing
Reeve Van Horn.
Once again, I am
Earnedil, and I am again the writer.
You can follow me at
on Twitter, at
Earnedilio. Boy, that's a rough
sentence to say. I don't post
a whole lot. I do, however,
sometimes show off tidbits of the writing
process behind TTS. I would encourage you to watch
the show. Please watch the show. We need you to watch the show.
Thank you.
And the player of
Captain Zedek.
That would be me! You can follow me
at HulkyCrow on Twitter.
I also don't post a whole lot. I may post
a funny picture here and there. Might have some
content or dubs coming in the future, but
that remains to be seen.
And of course, the star of the show,
our Game Master, Thurston Hillman.
Hi, I'm Thurston. You can follow me
at OnCallGM on
pretty much all the things, but mostly Twitter.
Real quick, I do want to
shout out the Patreon one other time.
Because there are two things that are
important for people to know. You noticed we had two
oddly named servitors in this episode.
Well, one of our Patreon tiers
is you can show up in our adventures as a servitor.
And despite Zoran telling people not
to sign up for our Patreon until they saw our
content, we had two people. So that's why we had
some oddly named servitors this
session. And on top of that,
we are also hoping to build up a
dearth of custom
complications submitted by our
players, or our Patreon people
out there. So if you're interested in
adding a complication to make the
players' lives more of a
living hell, feel free to check
it out. That's me!
Along with providing content on it, and the tokens
and some of the art that you saw, we'll be
slowly but surely divvying them out on certain
tiers and stuff like that. So if you're trying to run your own games
and stuff, we'll be slowly but surely
releasing some token art that you can use in your old
Roll20, Fantasy Grounds, or whatever tabletop
virtual tabletop that you're wanting
to do. So with that, let's go ahead and
pick a winner real quick for
basically the Antlion Audio stuff, and we're
going to roll it. Hopefully they're still here in the
chat. And...
rolling it! Strategic Owl!
You have won!
Basically, what we're going to get from you,
we're going to basically... I need you to make sure
your whispers are on. I'm going
to whisper you here on Twitch. If you don't know what that is,
quickly Google it and make sure I'm able to
do so. Just say something in chat,
Strategic Owl, making sure
that you are still here. I need to make sure you're still
alive, because if you're not alive here
in a minute or two, then I am going to have to
roll again. There you go! Got it!
Congratulations!
Congratulations, Strategic Owl! Thank you
so much for being here, and
also thank you to Antlion Audio
for providing that giveaway thing.
They basically wanted to kind of give a
nice giveaway thing, so please visit them
if you ever need some audio needs, which I use
one myself during the VRChat streams, which will be
right after this at 8.30
PDT.
And with that,
I think it's time that we finally
leave it all, fellas.
So, thank you again to everyone for
being here. It's been an absolute joy having
you. We hope you enjoyed it, we hope you come back.
Please stay tuned to AlphaBoost's
channel and my channels and stuff like that for
even more content, and we
hope to see you there.
Bye! Bye!
Goodbye!
So long!