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The NYC Academic Solutions Podcast focuses on helping parents navigate New York City's complex education landscape by providing them with valuable information and real, actionable strategies for their children's success.
Hosted by Alexander Friedman, owner of Brooklyn Math Tutors, each episode zeroes in on a specific topic relevant to NYC education and features experts who provide practical advice and insights, empowering students to excel both academically and beyond.
Interested in being a guest or have a question for the host? Get in touch via email. We're here to help.
00;00;00;00 - 00;00;26;17
Hello and welcome to the NYC Academic Solutions Podcast where we empower parents with actionable insights, practical advice and expert knowledge to help their students excel in education and beyond. I'm your host, Alexander Friedman, the owner of Brooklyn Math Tutors. In this podcast, we're committed to delivering valuable, noncommercial content by engaging in conversations with experts who will share the knowledge and experience to help NYC parents navigate the unique and complex world of education in the city.
00;00;26;18 - 00;00;46;05
Today, we're exploring the vital role of strong parent teacher relationships and fostering a child's academic success. We're joined by Rachel Wallace, a New York state and Washington, D.C. certified classroom teacher with a bachelor's degree in elementary education and a master's degree in educational leadership. With six years of experience working with children of pre-K to high school, Rachel has a lot to say about this topic.
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So without further ado, let's get started. Welcome to the podcast, Rachel. Thank you. So before we get into the parent teacher relationships, can you tell us about your journey into education? Sure. I've always been interested and passionate about teaching and education. I started tutoring and working in Sunday school settings when I was in middle school.
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I think. Oh wow, early. Early. Yeah. I knew what I wanted to do from a very young age, and every job that I've ever had has been working with children or in an educational capacity in some way. So I've officially been in the classroom as a lead teacher for the last six years, but have definitely been part of education for much longer than that.
00;01;26;09 - 00;01;44;14
So this is what a born teacher looks like. I guess. So, why is it important for parents to build relationships with teachers? If you think about it, parents and teachers are the two of the most influential adults on your child's life. Between the two groups, they spend the most time with your child, day in and day out.
00;01;44;14 - 00;02;04;08
Most of the time, if they're not with the parent, they're with the teacher. And so it makes sense that having a partnership between those two, the parents and the teacher, would help create some consistency and more of a partnership that could help the child flourish throughout their whole day, their whole life. You know, when I was a kid, I could not have imagined my parents talking to my teachers.
00;02;04;08 - 00;02;26;14
I think they had no interest. Is it that, like some parents are into talking to teachers and some parents are not? What's your experience on that then? Yeah, definitely. It definitely differs depending on the parents and some, you know, are more hesitant to reach out. But once I start a conversation and they're happy to, you know, respond and be involved. I think, like you said, there's definitely been a shift more recently of parents becoming more involved in the classroom.
00;02;26;15 - 00;02;45;29
Some parents are very, very involved in the classroom. And, you know, it varies. It goes all the way from that to parents who are just radio silent all the time. Which can be a little bit frustrating when you're trying to, you know, build that partnership and do what's best for the child. Is this more important in like the early years or, you know, high school?
00;02;46;01 - 00;03;05;19
I think it's really important to start a foundation early to have that, you know, that habit build that pattern of being involved in your child's schooling, especially not only for you to start that habit or not only for the parent to start that habit for themselves, but also for the child to see that the parent cares, the parents involved, the parent thinks it's important, and therefore the child should also have those values.
00;03;05;25 - 00;03;27;23
I see. Do you have any examples of students who have started doing significantly better once the parent started communicating with the teacher? Yeah, I mean, I've had every variation of the situation where I've had students who were not turning in assignments or they were struggling to get their work done, you know, in the allotted time or something like that, because they were distracted.
00;03;27;23 - 00;03;43;25
They're prioritizing, you know, talking to their friends or something like that. But when I was able to talk to the parents, the parents reached out to me. They said, you know, we noticed so-and-so is failing his tests all of a sudden, like, what can we do? How can we work together? Is there something that we can do at home that would help?
00;03;43;25 - 00;04;01;19
Then, you know, I've seen students that all of a sudden are turning in assignments more consistently, are showing that they actually care and they're asking me what they can do. And they did well and they're checking in with me on their own. Even as young as kindergarten and first grade, I've seen kids take real ownership of their work.
00;04;01;19 - 00;04;19;16
And I think that definitely comes from their parents being involved and demonstrating that modeling that for their kids. I wonder if this is sort of idea in society that like, you know, you send your kids to school and the school sort of does the job kind of like, you know, a process to get them back and it should be finished.
00;04;19;16 - 00;04;35;00
But that's really not how it is, is it? No, no. It's very difficult. Especially, I think at this point, education has become much more than just like you learn your ABCs, you learn how to read, you learn your math, you learn your science. It's become much more integrated. And with that, soft skills have also become a lot more integrated.
00;04;35;05 - 00;04;55;29
And those in particular are really difficult to teach in a silo if they're not getting reinforced, if they're not getting supported at home. I see. So personally, I am still in my forties, a little bit terrified of teachers. Maybe this is probably from my own experiences with teachers as a kid, but let's say I have a child. How do I make friends?
00;04;55;29 - 00;05;16;03
How do I like initiate a relationship with my child's teacher? We're not scary. We don't fight. Teachers are trained to work with children and people all day long. I do understand that. I do. Even when I was in school, I was told that some parents have that fear of initiating a relationship with their child's teacher. But it's not difficult.
00;05;16;04 - 00;05;31;01
Teachers are really appreciative. Any time a parent reaches out, especially if it's something simple, like I'm so worried about Jonathan, I hope he's having a great day at school. Can you please just let me know if he's doing okay or, you know, Jonathan came home smiling. He had an amazing day. He was telling me that he loved school.
00;05;31;02 - 00;05;44;24
Thank you so much. Just starting the relationship off like that. It doesn't have to be with anything other than just like a quick note. It doesn't have to be, you know, a thesis question. It doesn't have to be: How can I be the best parent that you've ever had of a student this school year? It doesn't have to be anything complex like that.
00;05;44;24 - 00;06;09;10
It's just something that enables us to. It's like a little hook so that we're able to build a relationship off of that first step. Gotcha. Do you find that some parents, like, do a good job of prioritizing teacher communication and some parents don't? Oh, definitely. Yeah. I get parents who respond to every email, parents who respond immediately, parents who I have to email multiple times to get any response whatsoever and everything in between.
00;06;09;10 - 00;06;27;28
It's definitely a spectrum. When you email parents like you're emailing the individual parents, like you're sending out a mass email like, “Hey, parents of my class,” it's like, Hello, this person, like you're writing them individually, right? It's not like a group email. There's a little bit of both. But if I email you specifically that it's you, you can tell by the message that it's targeted to the parent specifically.
00;06;28;04 - 00;06;42;12
And I usually, you know, I know not every teacher does this, but I do put like the child's name in the subject line so that they know that I'm reaching out to like Kayla's parents. I'm not just reaching out to my entire class so that, you know, if it's personal, it's even more important that they read it and respond to it.
00;06;42;14 - 00;07;12;23
So we're not going to single anyone out. But how do you feel when parents don't respond to your emails? It's definitely frustrating, especially when it's those personal emails, and especially because a lot of times, you know, teaching happens for nine consistent months, right? It's not just a one time project or something like that. So if I'm trying to communicate with parents at the beginning of an issue or, you know, if I see something happen at school and I'm just reaching out because I want to make sure that there's nothing going on at home I need to be aware of or something like that. It starts to set up a pattern of not being able to
00;07;12;23 - 00;07;29;10
reach the parent and, you know, then the problem just compounds. And then sometimes those parents that don't respond to my communication come to me like two months later, and they're like, “How come you didn't tell us that they were failing?” I'm like, “Well, I was trying to reach out to you, but I can only do so much.” I'm not going to come to your house and like, knock on your door.
00;07;29;10 - 00;07;47;08
I need you to meet me halfway. Yeah. It's not that era anymore where you could, you know, have that kind of relationship where you can just show up. Are you not allowed to write certain things in emails? Like, can you write like, “Hey, your kid's failing? Respond to me.” I mean, we definitely try and communicate with parents before that's actually the case.
00;07;47;11 - 00;08;03;27
And when it comes to more sensitive issues, of course, we try and call parents or organize a face to face meeting so that we don't have to share more sensitive information like that over email, because email can be a little impersonal and cold. So, yeah, we don't tend to email things just as bold as your child failed this test.
00;08;03;27 - 00;08;20;21
It's an issue. We need to talk. Well, I wonder if you might get more responses in there. Take some hints from the marketing teams. Next question. Parent teacher conferences. I don't think I've ever had a parent attend one of those. This is like people probably find out more about me than they need to know. But what is the what is the point of these?
00;08;20;21 - 00;08;38;26
What is the significance of these? Well, parent teacher conferences for a lot of schools are the only time that parents and teachers really get to sit down and talk face to face about their child. And that time is devoted and dedicated to talking about that child's growth, their progress, their areas where they need more support and they need more growth.
00;08;38;28 - 00;08;54;09
And it's very valuable time because that is specifically set aside for that purpose that you might see parents at dismissal or pick up or drop off in the mornings. But that time, you know, we've got a million other things going on. So we're not focused on giving you, you know, very detailed progress reports or anything like that.
00;08;54;10 - 00;09;17;28
When we have the conferences, teachers prepare for those, I pull student work samples. I have any important grades, any tests you know, especially if a child is failing or in danger of failing. I'll pull grades and work samples to show why that might be the case. And it's often one of the only times that you get to come in to the classroom and see the actual physical classroom and where your child is spending so much time every day, which, you know, I'm sure matters more or less to different parents.
00;09;17;28 - 00;09;37;21
But I think it's valuable to have that context for what your child is doing, where they're learning their environment for so much of their day. I suspect anyone listening to this, probably to them it matters. That's based like a consultation, like you get a full like real consultation with the teacher. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So once I've formed a relationship with my child's teacher, how do I maintain a positive relationship
00;09;37;27 - 00;09;57;18
throughout the year? I think it just comes down to continuing to maintain communication with them. You know, if there's a concern that you have, reaching out. If they email you anything time sensitive or especially a personal email, responding to it, even if it's just like, “Got it.”, “Thank you.” Like, I get it, we're busy. I don't need an essay, but just some acknowledgment that you've heard me.
00;09;57;18 - 00;10;13;04
You've received the communication. We're all on the same page. Even just that goes a long way to maintaining that relationship and letting me as the teacher feel like I can reach out to you if there is an issue or even if I'm like, you know, Sonia told me a really funny story today. It was so cute. Like, I just thought you wanted to know. Things like that.
00;10;13;04 - 00;10;29;10
It just helps. It snowballs. The more you reach out, the earlier you reach out, the more often it builds on it. And it, you know, really develops that positive relationship that only ends up benefiting the child. What are some common barriers to building these good relationships? You mentioned the positive things you could do, but what are the things that make it difficult?
00;10;29;12 - 00;10;49;08
I do think that there might be some stigma still about parents not wanting to talk to teachers or not knowing how to reach out to teachers. I think that sometimes, you know, teachers we get so many terms and there's so much going on, so much curriculum and everything going on in the classroom. Sometimes teachers forget that they’re speaking a whole different language
00;10;49;08 - 00;11;10;17
sometimes. Like we might feel like there's a barrier, even though we don't want that to exist at all. And I think a lot of it just comes from the fact that there's a little bit of separation. Parents aren't always in the classroom, teachers are not in your home. There's naturally this physical separation and then that ends up translating to like whatever you want to call it, the metaphysical, the email divide.
00;11;10;17 - 00;11;28;26
It's more difficult to build a relationship if you're not seeing the person all the time, things like that. I do think now that we've become much more of a digital society and we've gotten a lot more comfortable with Zoom and email and communicating that way, it's happening less and less. Well, that's great to hear. So how can parents just work together to support a child who is struggling?
00;11;29;04 - 00;11;47;17
Oh, there's so many ways. I think it helps to be able. When the parents and the teachers are on the same page, we can build some consistency and routines and expectations for the child, which are two of the most critical things. Teachers can provide extra resources and supports that the students can then access at home.
00;11;47;17 - 00;12;02;26
And a lot of times this isn't things like we're expecting the parents to do extra work. It's just like, you know, here's some kinds of worksheets that the kids can do, or here's some extra apps or websites that are educational that they could use, or we can provide things like, Here's a game that you can play and here's a way to make it educational with your kids.
00;12;02;26 - 00;12;23;00
So you are engaging with them and they're getting some, quote unquote, “educational content” and benefit out of that interaction. You know, there's so many different ways that I think teachers are trained to see the teaching moments in all kinds of experiences. And we are happy to share that information with parents. We just don't want to overwhelm them.
00;12;23;00 - 00;12;39;18
So we try not to overwhelm parents with extra communication, so we don't always offer it, but we have it. We have a wealth of knowledge we're happy to share. So ask your teacher if in doubt, ask the teacher. Yes, absolutely. How do you get your kids, so I guess, how do we get our kids as parents to take education seriously?
00;12;39;23 - 00;13;12;15
I think it comes back to just modeling for your kids that you care and that you found it important and that they should find it important. And I think you treating school as something that, you know, is a responsibility, something that matters. They need to show up and do their best for. You, showing that you care by responding to communications from the school, being involved in school activities, volunteering, as much as you're able. To be involved in events or PTA or field trip chaperons, things like that shows your child that you care.
00;13;12;15 - 00;13;29;28
And they automatically get that implicit message that then they should care because you do. So basically, you want to treat it as part of your life, not just like, okay, kid goes to school, then they come back and that's like a part of the life that you have no involvement in whatsoever. Exactly. Exactly. I see. So overall, last question.
00;13;29;28 - 00;13;54;27
Like, how important is the parent-teacher relationship in a student's academic success? I think it's a major factor in student success. There are some students, of course, that are more self-starters than others, but especially in those early years, it's so critical to develop that foundation. That school is important and school matters and they need to care so that they start building those work habits, that work ethic, that value for their education.
00;13;54;27 - 00;14;12;22
And then it just builds from there. And they're able to have that solid foundation in their education for the rest of their lives. So the more challenging school is for a student, the more important the parent is involved. Yes, I would say not only if school is challenging for your student, but it's definitely important to be involved
00;14;12;24 - 00;14;34;04
if you notice that your student might benefit from some extra support. I also have parents that get involved when their student is excelling and seems to be bored with school, which I also think is incredibly important because those students who are, you know, bored with school tend to not understand the importance of school or to undervalue school because they're not learning, they're not mentally engaged.
00;14;34;04 - 00;14;53;02
But there are ways for the teacher and the parents to work together to still make school feel valuable and engaging and important to the student in those situations as well. Great. Alright Rachel, well, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Yeah, my pleasure. And remember parents, most important message here is the teachers are not scary. We don't bite. We don’t bite.
00;14;53;02 - 00;15;18;02
All right. Thank you so much for tuning in today. We appreciate your time and hope you found our discussion insightful and valuable. If you have any questions or thoughts about today's topic, please don't hesitate to reach out to us. You'll find our email address in the show notes. We also welcome any suggestions for future topics that I get to cover as our goal is to provide you with the most useful and relevant information possible. If you enjoyed this episode and believe this information could benefit others, please consider sharing it with friends, family or colleagues.
00;15;18;09 - 00;15;35;24
Your support helps us reach more people and make a positive impact on our educational journey. Additionally, leaving a review on your preferred podcast platform helps others discover a podcast and allows us to continue bringing you valuable content. Once again, thank you for joining us and we look forward to connecting with you in the next episode. Take care and see you soon.