Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!
[upbeat music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.
It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. How Peaches doing?
I'm chafing.
Okay, I don't need to know that.
[laughs]
You need to get, uh, boxer briefs.
I need to get the Vaseline.
Uh, or just, you know, lo- longer, uh, shorts or something.
I, I wear my compression shorts. They're almost down to my knees.
And you still have that issue?
Yeah.
Huh.
I know my thighs are rubbing together when I'm walking on the treadmill, doing the hot girl walk.
Yeah, and it's still ... You still get the chafing even with the, uh, the shorts on.
I, I decided to test it out yesterday, uh, when I was at the gym, and I, uh, put the treadmill to the highest elevation possible, the highest incline possible.
Mm-hmm.
My face was right there even with the air vent.
[laughs]
And I just stared right into it.
Well, if you see a big elf almost touching the ceiling, you know it's Peaches.
It's Peaches.
We're hanging out at, at the club.
At the club.
All right.
That's the club I'm going to all the time, that's for sure.
Peaches partying hard at the club.
That's right. I'm fist bumping on the treadmill, playing some Electric Callboy.
Nothing-
Let the good times roll.
[laughs] That's right. I'm, like, getting out, clubbing.
Me likey, likey. I'm doing the 30 incline at three speed.
[laughs]
Sweating my butt off.
[laughs]
I told you about it earlier, how, uh, [laughs] I, I, I ... You know, I cut my head open. Of course, talked about that yesterday. Some ... With, uh, trying to shave my head. And so I didn't realize that there was al- there was still dried blood on the side of my head-
Mm-hmm
... that must have, uh, leaked down when I was at the gym, and nobody bothered to tell me over there.
[laughs]
I even looked at myself in the mirror, didn't see it. I got home. Of course, I go to the bathroom. I just see this red line all the way down the side of my face.
Well, you're a big dude, and, uh, maybe they thought you got in a, a fight before you came in or something.
They just see some giant bloody guy coming into the gym.
And they're like, "I ain't talking to that freak show."
Okay.
[laughs] No way. He's scary. [laughs]
I don't look all that scary, though, to people, do I?
I don't know. I mean, I guess if, if people are afraid of large people, you know, people that are just built big, then maybe. May- You, you got the beard. If you got tattoos, you'd probably scare the crap out of people. So you should go ... Uh, like I said, I think it was just yesterday, tattoo the top of your head. Your parents will never know. Nobody will ever know, Peaches. Unless you happen to be hanging out with that one basketball player you showed me a picture of.
Oh, Victor Wembanyama?
Victor Wembanyama.
Who's-
Yeah
... 7'4"?
That was a funny picture, when the, uh, reporter's arm was the only thing you could see in the video.
Right. Oh, y- s-
Now-
Imagine standing next to that guy
... uh, that would be weird for me 'cause-
Two Victors hanging out
... I mean, 'cause you're pretty tall as it is, but he's got ... What would that be, like, seven inches taller than you?
Um, five or six.
Something like that.
Let's see, 6'9" to 7'4". Do the math.
Nine. One, two, three. Seven.
Seven. Okay, you got it right.
Seven inches taller than Peaches. That is too dang tall. It's gotta suck to be that tall.
I met a guy once who was 7'6" and-
Geez
... you, your, your jaw goes to the floor.
Yeah, I, uh, am starting to turn into one of those obnoxious listeners. Um, where I saw a really tall guy at the store the other day, and I almost asked him, "How tall are you?" [laughs] Just so I could tell you. 'Cause his head almost hit the top of the doorframe, so I'm like, "Yeah, he's gotta be about Peaches."
Mine almost does, too.
Yeah. So it's like, all right, is, is this guy taller than Peaches or not?
Well, there was a listener who showed up to the, uh, Gun Shop remote who was about the same height as me, and he was wearing these giant, like, construction boots and all of that.
Yeah.
And he's like, "Let's take a picture together." And we just ... And he just-
Anytime, uh, anytime, you know, two tall guys meet, you gotta take a picture.
Got it.
But you need a small person in the picture, too, so that they can tell that you're tall. Otherwise, you just look like two normal dudes.
Well, we had the, quote-unquote, "big boss man" with us. We could've just had him join the photo.
You should've. You should've. Notes for next time.
It's always humbling when you're the smallest guy in the picture.
Hey, shut up, Peaches. [upbeat music] It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. I'm Victor.
I'm Peaches.
And you were just telling me that Woody is a little bit of a baby, it sounds like, on the Woody Show.
Uh, he's, he's been complaining quite a lot as of late. The show has gone downhill. I do agree with the listeners there. Um, the casting change of the in- of the show with the, the ad- addition of Gina Gradwitch. I don't necessarily want to insult her whatsoever because she's a, a nice person. I tried getting her on the, uh, Talking Between the Songs podcast, but I think-
Yeah
... iHeartMedia prevents their talent from doing anything outside of iHeart.
Probably. They're a terrible company.
'Cause I think that's what Gina told me in the message, if I remember correctly, but, uh-
A- and it's not her fault that they treated her, uh ... You know, the person who was previously in her role so horribly-
Right
... when they let her go.
She's just the replacement.
Yeah.
You can't be mad at that.
No.
Right.
No. That's management and, you know, maybe Woody. Who knows?
Oh, it was definitely Woody's decision.
You think so?
That's why the, th- that's why, th- that's why there was a lawsuit.
Oh, there was a lawsuit and everything.
Involving, uh-
Mm
... the former member Ravy-
Wow
... and, uh, iHeartMedia and Woody's real name.
Okay. So you were saying Woody won't go out and represent the station in public.
Well, they did the whole, uh, prom too.
Oh.
Like, you know, the, the second chance prom, like what Classy does.
Yeah.
They did that i- in L- in LA, of course, and they had a whole DJ and everything. But he was talking about ... He was calling out the other DJs on the station, who are two legendary guys, Ted Stryker and Booker.
Mm-hmm.
I guess they didn't go to the prom event-
Okay
... like they were supposed to. But Woody has attended their bowling events or whatever.
Okay.
So Woody's like, "I'm no longer going to any of these station events unless it's, like, the iHeartMedia Jingle Ball or whatever." Unless he's actually hosting it kind of thing.
Oh. Oh, good for you, Woody. Geez. Like, can you imagine if people were that whiny around here? Like, I got prom off because it was my birthday, and if you just storm in, "Victor didn't go. I'm not doing anything anymore."
Like, settle down, dude. Get out and see the pub- ... You want people to, uh, you know, engage with you and feel connected. Those public events are a great place for people to meet you.
Absolutely.
But-
There were a few people at the farmer's market that took pictures with me.
Yeah, exactlyBut, uh, that's what happens with a lot of these radio guys when they get into these big market things is, uh, "Oh, I'm set. I don't need to do anything anymore."
Honestly, that-
"I'm just gonna coast."
That would be me. [laughs]
[laughs]
I, I don't wanna go out there and be, be a part...
[laughs]
Send the street team.
[laughs]
You know?
Yeah, but the listeners don't wanna see the street team. They don't care. Those are no, those are no name, no faces. We don't have them around here.
I'll make my public appearances, but other than that, I'm not gonna, like, go to the farmers market. If I was, uh, i- in New York or LA, for example, I wouldn't go to one of the many of... It's, it's so weird how out here the farmers market is such a big deal.
Well, we don't have a-
Such a big thing to do on a Saturday that we need to be out there. I- in LA, there's hundreds of farmers markets-
Yeah
... and not a single radio station's going, "All right, K-Rock's taking over the Burbank Farmers Market. Let's go out there and sell some oranges."
Maybe they should.
No.
Maybe they should.
[laughs]
Get out on the streets, Woody. You know, get down in the trenches like the rest of us. All right?
He did.
[laughs] He did?
He spent his time in, you know, m- moving himself up the ranks.
All right, all right. Well, I still think that, uh, no matter where you're at, get out on the streets. Like, if I was a DJ in LA, I'd be everywhere. There's a show every night.
Would you, though?
Yeah. I, I believe so.
You would go to the shows, but you wouldn't do, like, the farmers market.
If the company set-ups... That, see, those are the type of events you should get out to because you wanna expose yourself to people who've never heard of you. You know? The average person is probably, you know, average person not like, "I love modern alternative rock." You know? You've g-
That's not even rock
... that's a niche audience.
Yeah.
So if you wanna attract some new listeners, you gotta get out there and meet them. I've, you know, gotten people who never listen to K-Bear hooked on us by talking to them in public. Get out on the streets, Woody. Quit slacking. Ha- slacking peaches.
Well, well he has other team members to do it for him kind of thing.
Yeah. Well, uh, he's the star of the show. He has his name stamped on it.
Right, but you have Menace, who's their social media director. He's the one that's absolutely going out there every single time doing these massive giveaways and all of that.
Yeah, he probably gets paid garbage, too.
Uh, I, I don't, I don't think so.
No?
No, I think he is able to work these endorsements and all of that.
Nah. Okay.
He, he's, uh-
So the company don't pay him, the sponsors do.
He's like the king of networking. I, I-
Hmm
... I'm not really sure exactly how much he gets paid, but I do know if he's able to afford two different places, and one's in LA and the other one's in, uh, Arizona, think he's doing all right.
Oh, he must be. Oh, good for him.
Right. Yeah.
Well, that, uh, see, and that sounds like it'd be a pretty fun job. B- but, uh, I still think Woody needs to pull himself up by his bootstraps and get out on the streets.
Oh, yesterday-
And slack-
... I was just talking about corporate buzzwords-
[laughs]
... and how you-
[laughs]
... you always use that stupid phrase.
[laughs] [upbeat music] It's the noon hour of madness and mayhem. I'm Victor.
I'm Peaches.
Peaches, the source of inspiration for men, uh, in a small segment of East Idaho.
Y-
Peaches', uh, discord.
You ever seen that, uh, that, that Rocky movie where he's running and then all the people join him?
Yes.
That's what I kinda want this to look like.
[laughs] Peaches and all the fat dads just roaming the greenbelt.
As we...
If you see a bunch of gray-haired, bald, fat dudes [laughs] walk-
Following Peaches
... [laughs] you can join on in Peaches' quest for fitness.
Hey, you're the program director for K-Bear. I wanna, I, well, I wanna see this promotion come to fruition.
Okay. So how, how's the promotion gonna work?
Uh, meet Peaches Saturday. [laughs]
Gathering of the fatties.
Yes. [laughs]
I'll join you, Peaches.
That's what you gotta call it.
[laughs] The ga-
We, we putting ourselves out there in the community like we talked about in the last break.
Yes. Gathering of the fatties, and you can show up even if you're not fat. We're just walking around the greenbelt.
You can show up even if you're not a guy.
[laughs] Yes. Ladies, you're welcome as well. It's the K-Bear quest for fitness with Peaches.
That's right. We gotta team up with Lieutenant Crane and do that whole, uh, uh, Amer- uh, Amer- the Idaho's Ninja Warrior theme that we were talking about with him.
Oh, jeez. [laughs]
What?
You wanna see a bunch of people really hurt themselves? [laughs]
[laughs] A fat dad on the monkey bars just tears a bicep.
Oh, man, I haven't tried the monkey bars in a long time. Not since I was... I bet it hurts your hands so bad.
I, I was always too tall for them.
[laughs]
I would just walk with my hands in the air. [laughs]
[laughs] So yeah, that... Well, it's good to hear that you're inspiring some of your friends to, uh, you know, be a little bit more health conscious and try to lose a little bit of weight. That's cool.
Yeah, I told them a- how, uh, my, my progress so far, and well, another person in the Discord server's like, "Yeah, well, me and my wife, we changed our diets completely. We've stopped drinking together. We stopped drinking at all." And then another guy was like, "Sure, I'll just come join you whenever you go out and walk Peaches." I'm like, "Okay, sounds good."
Yeah, I know.
Most likely they're not going to, but that's, you know, 'cause it's so much easier to say things rather than do things.
Oh, yeah, for sure. Um, you know, I've been doing good on the, uh, the booze that you mentioned-
Good for you
... but, uh, diet, not so much. Though I'm not craving, uh, candy quite as bad as I was, uh, a couple weeks ago.
You gotta do what I'm doing. You gotta put yourself in your boxers right in front of the mirror.
Well, I see myself in the mirror every morning.
And you gotta-
And I'm like, "Yuck."
You gotta A- AI generate a picture.
[laughs]
Put it above the mirror.
Have me all swole.
Yeah, and be like, "This is what I'm gonna look like in t- in, uh, 10 months."
Okay.
Dagestan, two to three years.
Get myself some, uh, notepads with words of affirmation and remind-
Put them on the side. Nah, I'm not doing that.
Not yet.
I'm not doing that at all.
[laughs]
All right?
So you claim. Y- you have an app for this. I know it, Peaches, and it sent you a notification, "Here's your affirmation of the day, Peaches." [laughs]
[laughs] I can show you my phone.
[laughs]
There's no affirmation of the day. Uh, David Goggins, I was listening to one of, uh, I was watching one of his videos, actually, and [laughs] it was so funny. Apparently, he, he has a, he has, like, Siri read him hate comments-
[laughs]
... that are said about him, and he'll be working out and listening to them. [laughs]
[laughs]
Like it's an audiobook.
[laughs]
What if we did that with people who, like, hate it on the station?
You know, uh, we need more hate, everybody.
[laughs]
So feel free to talk trash. Just don't tag Jade. [upbeat music]Wrapping things up on the noon hour of Madness Mayhem.
[laughs]
Ah, I can't believe it's only Wednesday.
I was about to make a joke there that I'm like, "Okay, we're on the air. I can't, I can't say that." [laughs]
Okay, please don't. [laughs]
[laughs]
Keep it to yourself, Peaches. Keep it to yourself. Ah. Dude, I'm, I've been really, like, frustrated this morning 'cause we went out to eat last night. And one,
you've been to, uh ... Okay, I'm not gonna throw the name of the business under the bus, but it's a restaurant that plays country music at extremely loud volume.
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
[laughs]
I haven't been there in a, in a, in a while, but, uh, they- they've turned it down. The la- the last time I was there they had it turned down.
Well, last night I would not say it seemed turned down. It was loud, and I'm sitting there listening and I'm like, "What station is this?" You know, it's probably Pandora or something.
Oh, but there's music videos being played at the same time, so-
They didn't have anything on the screen.
Oh.
It was sports. So I couldn't determine if it was TV or what, but I'm like, "Is this just a collection of the worst songs of all time or what?" 'Cause I program The Hawk, and look, this is one of the songs that came up 'cause I Shazamed it. Look at the name of that artist. I'm like, "Ah, the name fits." This song is garbage, so o- obviously if a person's gonna make music, if they have that as their first name-
I, I didn't realize-
... the music's gonna be bad.
I didn't realize there was that many dudes named Jade.
Me either. And you would think if you're a country guy and your name is Jade, you know, it sounds kind of girly. So you [laughs] should probably, like all the other country guys, get a better name. You know, give yourself a fake name.
The girl that I had my first kiss with bas- back when I was 17 was named Jade, and-
Ah
... our, our, the boss here has completely ruined it for me now. [laughs]
[laughs] But yeah, it was, uh, Jade Eagleson-
[laughs]
... with a song Got Your name on it. Is that even in our system?
I'm sure it's not.
I, I had never heard this song before. Let me look.
Got Your.
Uh, we do not have a single song that's Got Your anything, so yeah, it's a dud. It's not even in the system for ... You know, it wasn't played one time on The Hawk. This song was terrible. And then what was my other complaint about that place? Oh, it was a complaint against myself. I don't know why this happens to me, but you know, you order a bunch of food-
Dude, you're turning into the old me. You're complaining, like, nonstop recently.
I know. I, I'm, I'm trying not to be grumpy, but I'm mad at myself 'cause, you know, you spend too much money, order too much food, and then I left the leftovers in my truck overnight. Fantastic. So it's going in the garbage. Could've had dinner taken care of. Such an idiot. I don't know why I do that.
Yeah, I decided to, uh ... Well, I bought, I did another Walmart delivery order.
Mm-hmm.
I got salmon, I got cucumbers, tomatoes, mozzarella, and sweet potatoes.
You're pretty brave letting them pick out your f- your veggies and meats and fruits.
I-
I don't trust those employees to pick me out quality.
You know, I gotta buy that stuff myself.
I just, I just don't wanna go in the store.
They'd probably give you a dented can. [laughs]
A dented can. Oh, no.
Gonna get botulism, Peaches.
Botulism.
Botulism from a dented can.
I have some cans of sardines in the other room. I can come bring them in here.
Uh, please don't.
I'll open them up.
Keep, keep the fishy smell o- over next door.
[laughs] Gross, Peaches.
Not like it wasn't there before, but-
So you are mowing down sar- you just get them out of the can and eat them?
Yeah.
Ugh. I don't know, Peaches.
Yesterday I had hard-boiled eggs.
Are you eating them with the bones and everything?
Oh, yeah. Great source of calcium.
Ladies and gentlemen, Peaches needs help.
No, I don't. No, I don't.
He's eating bones.
I'm helping myself, you know?
He's eating bones.
I'm getting my nutrition-
Selling old possessions-
... I like
... and he's literally eating bones. [laughs] He needs help. Somebody save Peaches. [laughs] Start a GoFundMe. We don't need money. We need, like, food that's not sardines.
No, I'm, I'm eating better.
This Saturday at the Idaho Falls Farmers Market, donate some treats for Peaches. [laughs]
[laughs] I don't eat any treats. Some listener gave me a cheesecake and I threw it away. [laughs]
Peaches.
[laughs]
There are other people around who probably would have eaten it. Really-
I was like, "I'm not having any sugar. I'm not having any bread, soda-
[laughs]
... sweets, anything." And I, I ... Daniel from sales gave me this giant lemonade, uh, from a, from, uh, one of the places that was at the remote that we were at.
Uh-huh.
And I'm like, "I'm not drinking this, Daniel. I can't have sugar. Like, stop doing this." [laughs]
[laughs] Ladies and gentlemen, bring Peaches treats so he can give them to me to satisfy my sweets cravings.
You know, like, uh, when I was at TMZ, I, I remember one of the, one of the times I walked into the production room and Harvey was in there, and he had a giant bowl of just straight-up ground beef.
[laughs]
And that was it. It was just a giant Tupperware container that was, like, the size of a charcuterie board-
Wow
... of just, [laughs] of just ground beef.
And he's just got a spoon?
And dude's, like, 75 and he's, like, [laughs] he's ripped for no reason. [laughs] It's like, well, if he's doing this, I can too.
That sounds like a good meal. A bowl of ground beef.
Just a bowl of beef.
Was it raw?
No, of course it was cooked.
Ah, weak.
There was that one time I, I wore, like, a different button-down shirt. I was kind of scared 'cause he, [laughs] he walks into the break room and me and, me and him are the only two in there, and he's about, like, five foot nothing. He's r- tiny, tiny.
Yeah.
And I remember I had on this new, like, button-down shirt. It was striped and everything. [laughs] He walks behind me and just goes, "I really like that shirt."
[laughs]
"It looks good." Like, that, that kind of voice. I'm like, "I, I, uh, do I need to call for help?" [laughs]
[laughs]
"I really like that shirt. It looks good." [upbeat music]
The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com. [upbeat music]