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The podcast that teaches tweens and teens necessary life skills to achieve their goals, develop unconditional confidence, cultivate positive habits and become UNSTOPPABLE in all areas of life!
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hello. Hello.
Speaker 1:And welcome to the Unstoppable You podcast. It's your host, coach Will or at coaching with Will on socials. And this is my weekly podcast where I share bite sized wisdom and action oriented success principles all dedicated to help you crush your goals, develop confidence, and become truly unstoppable in life. So without further ado, let's dive in. What's up, chat?
Speaker 1:Today, we get to talk about one of my favorite things to talk about. Sometimes I'll randomly just start, like, singing. Have no idea where that came from. I haven't sang all morning. I've been up for a while, but I haven't I haven't sang all morning.
Speaker 1:And so I I don't know. It's just when I hit record, I guess, I'm I just start singing. But today, we're gonna talk about one of the most important things, that I really sucked at when I was in middle school, high school, college, and even the first couple years out of, you know, school, and that was is focus. Was slash is focus. When I say the word focus, I think a lot of people are like, oh, yeah.
Speaker 1:I should probably focus on focus. I know I talk about this a lot in my sessions and in the podcast, but I got ADHD. And if you have ADHD or maybe ADD or whatever I mean, I I feel like, you know, everyone kinda struggles with focus nowadays. So even if you don't, you kinda know that the the state of the world that we live in right now, it's it's very easy to get distracted. So we're gonna talk a little bit about distractions today.
Speaker 1:We're gonna talk a lot about the importance of focus, and I'm gonna also give you some really, really helpful game changing tips that even as somebody who has ADHD and gets distracted every other sentence when he talks, can use in order to improve whether that's with, you know, school, whether that's with just per you know, pursuing your goals. It could be with chores. It could be with whatever it is that you're doing. Right? And by the way, you know, you have an idea of what you should do in life to improve.
Speaker 1:We talked about that in the previous episode. This common denominator of success. It's like, you know, successful people do what they don't wanna do and make progress doing those things. Right? So, you know, they know it's good for them.
Speaker 1:They do it anyways. They try to do it with a good attitude and that is what we call grit. And in my opinion, what makes all people successful. So, you know, all that to say, you have things in in your gut that you're like, dang. If I just did this and this, I would be, you know, a more successful version of myself.
Speaker 1:Whatever that means to you, I would be, you know, maybe a little bit further than where I'm at right now. Maybe you'd see better results. You'd be more confident. And one of the thing that holds us back from doing those things is is just focus. And so, the principle that I really want to bring up at the beginning of this this episode is this.
Speaker 1:The state of our attention determines the state of our lives. The state of our attention determines the state of our lives. What does this mean? Because that's pretty deep. You're like, dang, bro.
Speaker 1:You just dropped a mic. It wasn't my mic. Okay? I took someone else's mic from, you know, the the quote book that I have on my, you know, computer, And I took that mic and dropped it here because I feel like we all need to, you know, hear that. And, ultimately, what it means is if you give your attention to quality things, you're going to have a quality life.
Speaker 1:If you give your attention to really crappy things, then you're gonna have a crappy life. And I have been in both of these buckets. I've been in both of these both, Chad. I have done things and given my attention to things that have absolutely taken away confidence, focus, motivation, happiness, peace, all of these different things. And I can give, of course, couple of examples.
Speaker 1:I was pursuing things that, you know, were just negative, whether that was social media, maybe it was peer pressuring or getting peer pressured, maybe it was a toxic relationship. Right? If you give those things your utmost attention, then you've gotta expect the quality of your life, your habits, and your inner feelings to be kind of crappy. Now the problem is we mostly do this every single day because we give our attention to, you know, just like negative things in life. Right?
Speaker 1:Not everybody and not all the time, but, you know, you gotta agree with me that it's a whole lot easier to give our attention to negative or just kinda mid things versus positive things. Right? We think about obligations. Oh my gosh. I have to do this rather than opportunities.
Speaker 1:We always think about what we don't have versus all the things that we do have, and I'm not saying this to guilt us because, chat, I'm literally in the same boat, but I'm saying this because, yeah, we we have this thing where we fixate on a lot of the negative. And so we give our attention to all this stuff, then we're gonna have, not necessarily a negative life, but we aren't gonna reach our potential. Compared to if we focus on the things that are going well, if we focus on our goals, if we focus on what we want to happen in life, then the state of our life is going to improve because our actions, our attitude are going to follow those things. So that's the whole, you know, reason why I like talking about focus. First off, because I believe if you can focus, you're gonna be ahead of 99% of people in today's world.
Speaker 1:Because 99% of people can't focus. Right? It comes very difficult to them because, you know, you got all these social media platforms that are really trying to steal your muscle of focus and steal your skill of focus, and they're doing a very good job, with me. And, you know, they might be doing a good job with you too, but here's why focus changed my life. I always thought that I couldn't focus, like, I always thought that I came out of the womb and it was one of those things that I'm, like, mom, bro, why did you not give me this skill of focus?
Speaker 1:I looked around at all of my high school friends and, oh, my gosh, they could, like, sit it, like, at a desk and work for 30 minutes without, you know, like, chewing on 7 pieces of gum and, you know, getting up 3 times to go to the bathroom or just to get up where I said it, you know, was the bathroom. Like, they could sit in a test and actually work all the way until it was supposed to be done, like, the class. And I was just sitting there, like, bro, I I've thought about 12 different farm animals. I've thought about how to, you know, how I could potentially solve world hunger. I've thought about all these things, and I still haven't, you know, done 4 questions on the test.
Speaker 1:So I was like, mom, why did you not give me the skill of focus? And I realized that it was just a couple of tools that I needed to work on that could give me this ability or I'd say, you know, this muscle of focus, and these are the things that we get to talk about right now. The first one is changing the game inside of you. So so it's winning the game inside of you. Change the language inside of you is what I meant to say.
Speaker 1:Win the game inside of you. What does that mean? Well, the self talk that I had that I was just explaining, where I was kind of playing victim to this idea that, oh my gosh. I have ADD. It's so difficult.
Speaker 1:I can't focus. Think about what that does. If I'm telling myself and if you're telling yourself over and over and over and over and over again that you can't focus, then what makes you think your brain and your body is going to find ways to focus. You've already, kinda, chalked it up. You've already put yourself in this box of, like, that.
Speaker 1:This is just something who, you know, that I that I can't do. This is just, kinda, who I am. I can't focus. And so winning the game inside you means changing your thoughts and changing your self talk around the idea of focus. So the moment that I started thinking, ADD ADHD is my superpower, everything changed because it it gave me the opportunity to start looking for ways to win rather than reasons why I'm losing.
Speaker 1:I feel like that's a mic drop, Chad. I'm gonna say that again. Changing my self talk to ADHD is my superpower, or I am the goat at focusing, even though that certainly was not true. It helped me focus on ways to improve rather than reasons why I was just sucking it at all. Right?
Speaker 1:So change the game inside of you. Stop saying I'm a procrastinator. Stop saying I can't focus. Stop saying I suck at school because of my ADHD. Right?
Speaker 1:Some of those things might be difficult for you as they were for me, but you cannot expect to find solutions if you are putting yourself in a box and telling yourself that you're just horrible at them. So instead say, you know, I I'm not good at focusing yet. Right? The power of yet. We talk about a lot in our sessions.
Speaker 1:It's super fun. The power of yet. We also talk a little bit more, about, you know, turn things into a process. Maybe you keep saying I can't focus. We'll say, I'm working on focusing because you are.
Speaker 1:Like, if you're listening to this podcast, you just need to take another step forward and just apply one of the 4 things that we're talking about today and it could be this one and I that's that I mean, that to me you're working on focus. You know what I'm saying? So, turn it into a process. I'm working on crushing my procrastination habit. I'm working on seeing ADHD as my superpower.
Speaker 1:So number 1, win the game inside you. If you don't do that, you will not be able to focus. If you don't do that, then the things that I'm about to say are actually kind of, crap because, again, they're just kind of putting a band aid on something that is a deeper issue and that's that's our self talk. And keep in mind, Chad, I'm saying our self talk because I really sucked at this a lot in the past. So that's number 1.
Speaker 1:Number 2 is understand that timing is everything. Timing your focus is everything. We talk a lot about dopamine in my coaching as well as, you know, some of these podcasts, I'm sure. And if we haven't talked about dopamine here yet, then we are certainly gonna be talking about in the future, but dopamine is directly related to motivation and focus. If you don't feel motivated, it's because the thing that you're doing typically isn't giving you dopamine.
Speaker 1:Right? Think about it like this. When we go to school, if you don't like school, like, I didn't like school, then you're not getting a whole lot of dopamine. Right? Dopamine is, like, what feels good.
Speaker 1:And so when you watch mister beast videos, when you scroll on TikTok, when you, maybe, you know, make progress to cleaning your room, right, then that's what dopamine is. Dopamine gets released. And so when we are giving our brain, which we are by the way, like, you probably listening to this, you know, your dopamine levels are out of whack like mine are because you're you're, you know, on social media a lot, maybe you are watching YouTube a bunch, maybe you're watching, you know, you know, creators that use crazy colors and, you know, all these, you know, all these cuts and edits. Right? Those are people who just want to tap into your dopamine system, and so you're motivated to continue watching them.
Speaker 1:Going back to this idea of timing, well, it's very hard for you to focus and be motivated after you've had this influx of dopamine. So watch mister beast watch a mister beast video, try to do homework after that, it's gonna be very difficult because your dopamine levels are so high and then you return to doing something that doesn't give you a lot of dopamine, like, homework. Right? Like, you know, let's be real. Math and algebra and, you know, remembering the presidents in history class doesn't really give you a whole lot of dopamine compared to Fortnite, you know, Forza, Madden, mister beast, TikTok algorithms that are specifically catered towards you, all that good stuff.
Speaker 1:So try your best if you want to improve your focus. This changed everything for me. Wait until after your homework or after your work to watch the videos. It's so simple. I'm not saying the videos are bad.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying that mister beast is not good or other creators, whatever, whoever it is, but try your best to to push that until after the work. That way your your mind is not trying to compete with your, you know, favorite creators and TikTok and algorithms and all that when you are doing your homework because it's there's not gonna compete. Alright? So know your body, and, really time your dopamine intake to the best of your ability. Number 3 is be mindful of your breaks.
Speaker 1:When you take breaks, going back to dopamine, don't make them breaks that are full of video games, scrolling, sugar, and cheap dopamine. Right? Make them full of, you know, maybe it's a cold shower, maybe you're doing some some skin care routine, maybe you're going for a a quick walk, maybe you're doing 10 push ups. And I know this all sounds so life coachy for me to say. It's like, hey, when you get done with 5 problems of your math class, do 10 push ups.
Speaker 1:You know, you don't have to do 10 push ups, but when I started to transform my breaks 5 minute, 10 minute, even 30 minute breaks from I'm just gonna sit on my bed and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll, and then do that about 30,000,000,000 more times. And I started taking a cold shower doing, you know, skincare and just taking my dog to go for a walk. He poops like 7 times by the way. I don't know if you guys I don't know if you guys, like, wanted to know that, but he poops like 7 times on every walk. So I have to literally get 7 or 8 bags, and the amount of times he makes me look like a horrible human being where he like poops for the 8th time and I don't have a bag and I'm just like sitting, I'm just standing around.
Speaker 1:It's like, man, that's that's awkward. But, anyways, I don't even remember what I was talking about. Be mindful of your breaks. That's it. Okay?
Speaker 1:The next really small tool I guess we have more than 4 of them. The next really small tool that I feel like would be really helpful, that really helped me is when you think of something that you wanna do or maybe you think of something let's say you're working, you're thinking of, you know, a random thing, where you're like, oh my gosh, I need to go and, you know, text my friend about this dance or whatever it may be. Just have, like, a little notepad near you and just write down whatever comes to your mind. Like, literally whatever I mean, the 7 7 poop bags, I could have probably just written down and I didn't I didn't I didn't need to talk about this on this podcast, you know what I'm saying? But I I would have just written that down and been, like, dang, we gotta figure this out, Dash.
Speaker 1:Like, we should probably go to the vet. We should probably, you know, look at, you know, why that's happening, probably change the diet. Right? But the point of this is so that you give the attention, like, you still give the thought attention, but it doesn't take over your productivity in the moment. This is really really helpful for me especially with ADHD.
Speaker 1:I have, again, like, a 50 different random thoughts when I'm trying to, you know, sit down and do 10 minutes of work and just, you know, writing them down has been really helpful for me. That doesn't mean you always go back to those things. You actually kind of, you know, a lot of times I I'll go back to those things, and I'll look at my Post it note. I'm, like, dang. Dash poop 7 times.
Speaker 1:And I'll think to myself, okay. Well, that's maybe that's just normal. And so I won't I won't even do anything with it. Right? And that's that's pretty, pretty normal too.
Speaker 1:Maybe I should do it with do something with it though because that's crazy. Last one we'll talk about here because we already have 15, 16 minutes. Create an environment that is away from your distractions. I talk about this a lot. Okay?
Speaker 1:I talk about this a lot because it is probably the number one thing outside of changing and winning the the inner game, my self talk, that has helped me focus. I feel like I've gotten really, really good and I wish I would've known this earlier. I wish I I wish I would've known to create environments that help me succeed. And so, for example, if I'm trying to work and write, you know, content or if I'm trying to do homework in my room where my Xbox is, where, you know, my huge TV is, where Dash is, then it's gonna be very, very difficult for my brain to compete with all the things that are in my room. Right?
Speaker 1:Because there are a lot of different, you know, dopamine, dopamine things that are in my room that I could get distracted with. And so the moment that I, you know, removed myself from that environment and put myself in a place where those things didn't exist, everything changed. Right? Because I didn't have to always rely on my discipline to say no to the screens, and instead I could just, you know, didn't really have the option. Right?
Speaker 1:So I didn't have to rely on my really crappy discipline, when it came to focus. So I'll give you a a really clear example of how I did this. So when I was in high school, I think I've talked about this a couple of times on the podcast, but I had a really crappy GPA. It was, like, I I don't even remember what it was, but it it wasn't that great, and I just couldn't focus. Right?
Speaker 1:And so I was a junior in in high school, and I started driving, which was awesome. And I told my mom, I was, like, hey, mom. Like, I really wanna go run track in college. I really want to, at least get my grades up a little bit. I wasn't going for a 4 point o.
Speaker 1:I wasn't going for all a's, but I was, like, okay. I think I can if I just figure out how to focus and, you know, stop being so dang negative about school. I think I think something can change. And so I started going to Starbucks or a local coffee shop. Most of the time it was Starbucks, and I I drove there right after practice.
Speaker 1:So from 5 o'clock after practice to about 6:30 every night, I would go there and I wouldn't bring my phone. And, obviously, I wouldn't bring my Xbox because I was going to Starbucks. So I had just me and my homework in front of me, and of course and, you know, a white chocolate mocha that was about 1200 calories it was still, you know, it was kind of like my reward for going. I was like, okay, I'm just gonna at least get this. And it changed everything because I made it so much easier to focus because I put myself in an environment that I succeeded.
Speaker 1:Successful people talk about this all the time. Right? Whether it's an environment where, you know, it's like your physical environment like that. It could be, you know, surrounding yourself with with an environment that that inspires you in terms of your circle of influence. Right?
Speaker 1:Environment is everything. If you wanna change your bad habit, you gotta change your environment. If you wanna start a good habit, the best way to do it is to find an environment that inspires you and maybe holds you accountable to doing those things. And after a couple of weeks, I actually started talking to my my teammates and my friends about me going to Starbucks. And so, you know, they started to come with me, and I made it very clear that this is for studying.
Speaker 1:Okay? This is for studying. We ain't gonna talk about girls. We ain't gonna talk about this. We ain't gonna talk about that.
Speaker 1:And, really, really help them too. Okay? So, those are the things that I feel, like, could really help you with with focus, and I hope that a lot of the stuff related to you. Again, I am not a guru. I always say in my coaching that, Chad, I am just somebody who's 27, and I'm trying to figure stuff out with my confidence, motivation, focus, passion, all these everything, consistency, habits.
Speaker 1:And I don't have all the answers, but these are all things that, a, I worked on and they really, really helped me. And so even if you take one of these things and they help you, my job is complete. Right? That's, like, my whole mission. And also second, things that I'm doing right now that I invite you to work on with me.
Speaker 1:Right? So, thank you so much for listening to this really quick recapping. Change yourself talk about your focus. If you always say to yourself, I can't focus, then I hate to break it to you, you're always gonna struggle with focus. And so, instead, say, I can't focus yet or I'm working on my focus.
Speaker 1:You can start saying, if you have ADHD, ADHD is my superpower because I truly believe it is my superpower. 2nd, timing is everything. Try to wait and reward yourself with high dopamine activities until after you do your homework or after you do your work. And number 3, be mindful of your breaks. Going along the same lines, don't do high dopamine activities during your breaks.
Speaker 1:In my opinion, walks, cold showers, or just showers, skin care routine, playing with your dog, talking with, you know, a friend on the phone, whatever it may be. I think being mindful of your breaks really, really helps focus and motivation. 4th thing, very small, is just when you think of something, write it down. When when you think of something while you're working, just write it down a little Post it note. Don't use your phone because then you're gonna scroll for the next 7 hours of your life.
Speaker 1:You just write it down on a Post it note, write down a piece of paper. I know it's crazy. I still use paper. I'm a boomer. Last thing, create an environment and work from there.
Speaker 1:Your environment is everything. The fastest way to break a bad habit like scrolling, getting distracted on your on your, video games, procrastination, FaceTiming friends, texting your ex, whatever it may be. Create environment where you can absolutely lock in and those, you know, distractions don't even they they don't even, you know, tempt you because they're not even there. Starbucks for the w, you know, coffee shops nearby, a library is probably even better than those things because you don't have to be tempted with, you know, these crazy, you know, venti or trendy, whatever the heck you call them, white chocolate mochas. Alright, everybody.
Speaker 1:Hope this is helpful. Thank you so much for listening. I'm proud of you for making it all the way through. I'm trying to, you know, do some short episodes, some longer episodes. And, yeah.
Speaker 1:This is a little bit of a longer one. So props to you for focusing. Oh, my goodness gracious. So proud of you. For 22 minutes.
Speaker 1:Peace.