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The Estherpreneur is a weekly chat about doing business and life God’s way. Join your host, Edna Harding as she offers biblical strategies and practical applications to improve your mind, business, spirit, relationships, and finances. Listen along as she talks with guests on how to thrive in all areas of life. Edna is a Wife, Mother, Growth Strategist, Author, Minister, Certified Maxwell Business Consultant and Executive Coach, an accredited Master Mindset Coach, and Speaker whose message of hope, truth, and wisdom reaches people all around the world. FavorandWealth.com Estherpreneur.com
Edna Harding [00:00:03]:
Welcome to Estrepreneur, a podcast for entrepreneurs and leaders doing business and life God's way. Each week we discuss biblical and practical tips to improve your mind, business, spirit, relationships, and finances. Listen along as I speak with special guests on how to thrive in all aspects of life. Hi, I'm Edna. Like many of you, I wear many hats. I'm a military wife, mother, author, certified John Maxwell business and executive coach, trainer, and founder of Favor and wealth, where we help the good guys win. So tune in as we bring on the light.
Edna Harding [00:00:47]:
Well, hello, friends, family from all over the world. Thank you for tuning in for another episode of the Essa Preneur podcast. Edna Harding here, recording from my home studio here in Madison, Alabama. That's right, Alabama. So excited you guys are here. Today we are going to talk about why you keep attracting the wrong clients. Oh, man. How many of you guys are there? You are attracting the wrong clients.
Edna Harding [00:01:24]:
And now it's time for a heart check. Let's have a come to Jesus talk. Okay, hold on, guys. Just bear with me as I fix this mic, because the mic is all up in my face. All right, so for those of you guys are new here, my name is Edna Harding, and I'm nothing but a messenger of life when it comes to what business and life utilizing strategies from the Bible. All right, so here we go. Sorry, guys. Just getting adjusted here.
Edna Harding [00:01:55]:
All right, so today we're going to go into deep, okay? We're going to go deep. Not into strategies or systems, but into the heart of your business. Okay? So I'm going to call this the mirror of your business, all right? Which is essentially your heart. So here is the thing that I'm going to ask you another reflective question that I want to start off this episode with. What if the wrong clients in your business aren't the problem, but it's actually a mirror reflecting something deeper in you? Oh, man. I know, I know you want to be encouraged, but this is encouraging because the truth will set us free, right? This is the episode that might set staying a little. But let me tell you, my friends, it will heal a lot. This is something that I've learned throughout my journey.
Edna Harding [00:02:58]:
And I promise you it's gonna hurt, but it's going to heal. And when it heals, the scar is going to remind you that you are in a better place, okay? Because sometimes we want to get rid of those scars, but it's those scars that makes us even more. What's a good word, Lord? Refined, right? More pure, more stronger, more majestic. Because we don't look, when people see us, they see what we have became or what we have become. Thank you, Holy Spirit. What we have become because of the fire. Right? And so today I'm going to start off by reading this scripture, which is found in Proverbs, chapter 4:23, which says, Guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. So, my friends, let's apply it to business.
Edna Harding [00:04:02]:
Right? Your business flows from your heart, not your head. What? What? Edna, What? What do you mean? Yes, I said it. Your business flows from your heart, not your head. And when your heart is out of order, your client list will show it. All right, so let's talk about the four heart conditions that attract the wrong clients. Oh, before I go into this, I'm sorry, guys. I didn't even. I didn't even welcome all my new.
Edna Harding [00:04:40]:
A new listeners. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm so excited that you're here. I'm very. I wouldn't say I'm very charismatic or entertaining, but I say what's on my mind. And so if you're looking for a candid conversation or a candid talk about all things business and life, God's way, you're in the right place. So thank you, thank you, thank you. If you're my returning subscribers and listeners, if you haven't connected with me on LinkedIn yet, please do.
Edna Harding [00:05:11]:
I want to hear from you. Thank you guys for reaching out to me on LinkedIn or even on Instagram or my website. I love hearing from you and hearing all the things that God is. Is doing in your life through these. Through these episodes. So it truly does bless me, and it truly keeps me going, you know, when times are rough because sometimes life can be challenging. Right? How many of you guys are mothers? Military wives? Anybody? I am military. Wife of two young kids.
Edna Harding [00:05:40]:
It's exhausting. It's tiring. And I love my husband. I love his work. I love that he's serving our country. But, man, it's a lot of work for him and for me. All right, so let's go back. Let's back up.
Edna Harding [00:05:55]:
Okay, so again, back to my first point, that your business flows from your heart, not from your head. So let's look at four heart conditions that attract the wrong clients. Okay? Number one, a desperate heart. When you say yes out of fear, what happens is you attract bargain hunters and boundary violators. Okay, Are you desperate where you say yes because you don't want them to get upset, you don't want them to run away? You say yes to everything, and now they're taking advantage of you. Okay? The second heart condition that attracts the wrong clients is people pleasing heart. You can't say no, right? You're attracting disrespectful, demanding clients. You don't want that.
Edna Harding [00:06:51]:
All right? Number three, a pride filled heart. This is a despicable sin that the Lord absolutely hates. In fact, it's one of the seven sins. I think it's seven sins that the Lord detests or hates. So pride filled hearts. So you take clients for clout and you attract high drama, ego stroking clients, okay? You're attracting people that are just so prideful and they think they're the best things in sliced bread. And because you're so prideful, you attract prideful clients as well, Right? And number four, a wounded heart. A wounded heart is you tolerate mistreatment.
Edna Harding [00:07:37]:
You attract toxic and abusive patterns. And that's something that I dealt with, okay? So in mine, specifically when it came to relationships and my personal life, but also my business life. So here is the point that I want to make, okay? In this particular portion of our episode, when your heart is whole, your client attraction shifts to reflect strength, clarity and kingdom alignment. Okay? So you always hear me say, you know, you master your soul sales and stewardship for a fulfilling business life. Okay? This is something that I say regularly in person or if I'm, you know, doing some training or coaching on my LinkedIn. That's my head, my banner. But you have to heal your heart. If you want to heal your business, you have to heal your heart heart.
Edna Harding [00:08:27]:
All right, so let's go ahead and send boundary set, not send set boundaries, okay? Because boundaries are spiritual warfare. Okay? One thing you'll find if, especially if you're new or if you've been around for a while, the wrong clients don't always start toxic. They don't. They really don't. But over time, they pull you away from your assignment or from your purpose. So here's the spiral of wrong association, okay? Number one, walking in step, meaning accepting wrong advice. Okay? Accepting wrong advice. You don't want to accept advice from the world that goes against God's word.
Edna Harding [00:09:21]:
Number one, okay? The second spiral of wrong association is standing in the way, meaning operating outside your values. Right? Operating outside of values. Are you doing things that is not normal? Let me give you an example, okay? I don't know what this has to do with that, but apparently he told me to share that. So my husband out of his. This has nothing to do with business, but I'm going to show you how it relates My husband, out of his loving kindness, decided to buy me a 90 minute massage for, I think it was for Christmas or for something, some holiday. And I went and it just so happened it's one of those healing haven, energy healer type of massages. And mind you, I had a pretty, pretty rough, like, few weeks because I spend just so busy, so stressful. He was out of town a couple times.
Edna Harding [00:10:28]:
And then I had, you know, house stuff and had just so many things I had to get done for projects, clients and things of that sort. And knowing that I know I had an idea. Thank you, Holy Spirit. I didn't know I had an idea that it was. But I put in there that I want a deep tissue massage because it said in there that you could pick Reiki massage. If you guys are taking Reiki massage, please read that because that is not of God. So I said Reiki massage and I, I purposely picked deep tissue massage, not Reiki massage, because I don't believe in ourselves. Well, the lady who was doing my massage, everything was fine.
Edna Harding [00:11:12]:
And then I started hearing blowing and bells and like whistling and, and just like hand things, like just, you know, it. I opened my eyes, I was like, oh my goodness, what did I get myself into while in the middle of the massage? And yes, I probably should have gotten out. And I don't know if it was me or the Holy Spirit, but I stayed on there and talked about Jesus, just briefly, not a long time. But should I have continued? Hindsight's 20 20. Probably not. Once I knew that I was in the demonic type of massage, I probably should have like, I'm sorry, this is not what I thought this was. I'm gonna have to go, right? But I stayed. So I'm operating outside of the norms.
Edna Harding [00:11:59]:
And mind you, when I got back home, I dealt with a lot of attacks, a lot of depression, anxiety, stress, fears, and those are the consequences of my sin. So my point is, when you're operating outside your values or you're going against what you know, you are opening up the doors to attacks from the enemy, okay, Sitting in the company. So when you're in the wrong type of association, you become comfortable with compromise, right? You start cussing a little bit or you start stealing a little bit, you start doing things that you wouldn't normally do if you are not associated with the wrong people. So you really need to ensure that you create boundaries, okay? Boundaries. When it comes to your association, who you associate with as clients, who you associate with as vendors, who is associate as partners, all these things needs to Line up with God's word. Now, I know there's a lot of religious people like, no, you got to witness. You got to be the light and darkness sitting hills off. And I get that.
Edna Harding [00:13:06]:
But when it comes to people that you're spending a lot of time with, you really need to ensure that you are speaking life and not death, right? So for me, I can only be in like certain groups for, for a long time because once I start cussing, once they start, I have to get out because it's just not the environment that I thrive in. So you have to choose those environments. Does that make sense? So let's get practical. Like, how do we set these type of boundaries? Number one, financial boundaries, right? Respect your rates and time. Don't offer free. Do not offer free. I used to do it before. Maybe at that time I was doing it for free because I was a stay at home mom and I just wanted to help and things like that.
Edna Harding [00:13:51]:
But my expenses started rising and I was helping all these people make tons of money and I myself was struggling and I can't do that anymore. Right? And so you gotta like, know your worth, know the value that you provide for your clients and charge appropriately, okay? That's number one. Number two, relational boundaries. You have to have clear expectations on what a healthy type of communication you want. So for me, I specifically don't like it when people yell at me, right? I don't like that. I didn't put up with that. You know, even with my husband, I don't put up with that. I told him, don't raise your voice.
Edna Harding [00:14:31]:
And he's like, I'm not raising my voice. I sound like, no, you're raising your voice. I know the difference, right, between like an angry voice versus a passionate voice, right? There is an angry voice in their mind. They're being passionate, what they're saying. But no, they're yelling, they're raising their voice, they're yelling across so that they could prove a point. And this comes to clients, this comes to friendship, this comes to family, any type of thing. And why, I think for me, I think it comes down from my past abusive relationship before because he did that a lot. And so it reminds me of, of those things.
Edna Harding [00:15:06]:
So I don't put up with that. Anybody that yells, I automatically like, put them in a. Okay, I'm going to distance myself from you because this is not healthy for me, right? And the third thing is spiritual, okay? You got to create those boundaries and no clients should compromise your core convictions, right? So I've said No to people that wanted to start a yoga studio or wanted to start. What do you call it? What is that, Henny? You know, when you. The drawing on your, on your bodies and things like that. I, I don't work with those. I don't work with anything that basically other religions practice. That goes against my.
Edna Harding [00:15:49]:
My convictions. And I'll say no to that. And I'll say it's just part of my value system. Right. Remember, my friends, boundaries don't repel the right people. They actually attract them. Okay, now the next thing I want to talk about is how do you see yourself? Because how you see yourself will determine who you attract. So, for example, if you feel desperate, if you feel replaceable or lucky to be chosen, you know that word, lucky? Guess what? I don't believe in luck.
Edna Harding [00:16:23]:
I believe in blessings. I believe in blessings. You're going to attract clients who treat you that way. So if you're desperate, you're replaceable, and you feel like, oh, I'm so blessed that you chose me. No. Okay, Clients are going to treat you that way, right? Don't be desperate. Don't be desperate. God is your source.
Edna Harding [00:16:43]:
God is your provider, not your clients. But what happens when you stand in your worth? In First John 3:1, right? You're now what? You're God's beloved daughter or son. When you stand in your purpose now, you've been chosen for kingdom work. When you stand in your authority, second Peter 1:3, you're already equipped, right? So instead of feeling desperate, replaceable, or feeling like, oh, my gosh, I'm so blessed that you chose me instead. You're like, I know my worth. I know the value I bring. I know my assignment. And this is the purpose that you've called me to be.
Edna Harding [00:17:20]:
And I know the authority God had given me because I passed the test numerous times. Then guess what, my friends? The clients who align with that confidence will be drawn to you. You're not going to have to chase them. They're going to come to you because they're going to know that you know. That you know. All right, So I want to talk about something that a lot, not a lot of people talk about, but I think it's worth addressing. It's when the blessings you thought were blessings were actually bondage. Because hear me, my friends, some wrong clients look like open doors, but in the end, they lead to destruction.
Edna Harding [00:18:00]:
So I want you to ask these questions when you're taking on new clients. Number one, do you feel peace or do you feel pressured? Number two, what fruit Is this relationship producing? All right, number three, where will I be spiritually if this continues? Right? Is this pulling you towards God or away from God? Because, my friends, compromise costs more than money. If it drains your peace, if it dulls your purpose, what's going to happen? It's going to invite more dysfunction, right? Don't compromise. It's not worth it. The money is not even worth it. The money is not worth it. I know. Easier said than done when you're struggling, but I can tell you it's not worth it.
Edna Harding [00:19:01]:
God's going to send you the right connections at the right time. Learn from my mistakes. Oh, my gosh. So many heartaches, so many pain, so many tears, so many headaches. Like, just say no. Just say no. So now let's talk about how do we do heart surgery, right? Let's do. Let's go ahead and work on our heart, right? How can we do some heart surgery so that we're ready to serve our clients well and we have clarity on who those clients are? Right? Number one, do an internal audit.
Edna Harding [00:19:33]:
Okay? What fear is driving you to say yes? If you're saying yes to a client, is it a fear that's driving you, like, oh, my gosh, have to take her on or him on because I got to pay my bills? Or do you feel peace? Do you feel like this is the right client for me? Okay, I want you to ask yourself, what lie are you believing about your worth? Right? What lie are you believing about your worth? Are you thinking like, oh, my gosh, I have to lower my. My price, or are you inflating it even? Like, I'm worth this much because. Because I'm the best, when in reality, you haven't even served one customer and you're trying to charge them an arm and a leg. Don't do that. Okay? Get results. Charge based on the output. Charge based on the outcome. Charge based on the fruit that you can produce with your solution.
Edna Harding [00:20:22]:
The next question I want you to ask yourself is, are you building for validation or vocation? Validation or vocation? Right? Is this part of your calling or is this something that you need so that you act like, yeah, I worked with so and so. You know, it's so funny when I look back, I was dumb like that. I mean, no offense if you're doing that right now, but I was really dumb, like, okay, I want to work with this client and this client just so I could say, to work with this client. But they were. It wasn't fun. It was such a nightmare dealing with Them because it was different values, different systems. And at the end of the day, they talk crap about you. It's just not worth it.
Edna Harding [00:21:02]:
Okay? And so that's your first part. You want to do an internal audit. And the second thing you want to do is you want to create your boundaries, right? So, number one, I want you to identify and define your ideal client utilizing biblical wisdom, utilizing values from the Bible. Okay? And identify that, like, what do you want to work with? And so for me, I created a manifesto. It's called Business Unlimited Manifesto, which is basically the manifesto that I use for any type of program. But you need to know, like, what clients you want to work with before you start seeing, taking on new clients. Because you want to kind of do, like, a checklist. Does this person meet this criteria before signing that contract? Right.
Edna Harding [00:21:53]:
It's not worth it. My friends, protect your piece. Protect the environment that you're creating for your employees, for your team, and for your customers. Because like attracts like, right? So what happens is, if you just allow everyone and their mamas to come in and let's say you like one, what's up with that? A leaven and a bread will ruin the whole bread or something like that. Don't get. Don't quote me on that. But a little leaven can ruin the whole bread. I think that's what it is.
Edna Harding [00:22:19]:
So you don't want that. You want the right people and protect that peace, protect that culture, protect that joy that you're bringing in. All right? And you need to declare who you are. You need to declare your identity. That's step three, right? Say daily, say, I'm chosen by God for kingdom impact. I operate from workflow, not lack. For example, or I say no to protect the yes God gave me. So learn to say no, right? All right? In step four, cleanse.
Edna Harding [00:22:55]:
Client cleanse. Oh, you gotta fire some clients, my friends. I know, I know, I know. Green lights means stay. Yellow lights means get a conversation. And red lights need a graceful exit plan. Pay attention to that. Ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom, and he will help you.
Edna Harding [00:23:16]:
And then number five, authentic attraction starts by marketing with clarity, with faith and authority. Know who you're called to, knowing that God sent you and knowing that you have authority to fix. You know, you have the anointing to fix whatever problem you're solving for your clients. Don't hide your standards. You need to highlight them. All right, so how do you. How do you guard your heart on a daily. Okay, this is what you need to do.
Edna Harding [00:23:44]:
Number one, always start with scriptures before you start your business, always put God first. I mean, this is Matthew 6:33 all the way you know it. If you're a Christian, if you don't, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. Number two, pause before reacting. Check the motivation. Are you bringing, for example, for me, am I bringing on employees so that I could say that I've made it, or do I actually really need help? For me, I need help. I'm, I'm swamped, I'm tired, I'm exhausted. I need to hire help even though it's going to cost me some and it's going to dip into my business expenses.
Edna Harding [00:24:24]:
Yes, but I need help, right? Number three, reflect and repent daily. Let God recalibrate your heart. I always ask God for forgiveness for grieving him that day, for making the wrong decisions, for snapping at my children, snapping at my husband, complaining about how tired I am because of being a wife. Right? I had to constantly repent. Remember that your heart is the gatekeeper of your business. So you need to guard it regularly and the right clients will find you. All right? So as we close, just remember this thing that this week I want you to look at your current clients and ask yourself, what does that list reveal? What does that reveal about you? Right? And then I want you to do some heart surgery. Identify and heal one internal issue.
Edna Harding [00:25:15]:
Right? So for me, I think I want to help so many people that I've really overly extended myself to the point where I'm no longer looking out for the best interest of my family and myself because I'm trying to be Jehovah, Jireh and the Savior to everybody, when reality, that's only Jesus Christ. He wants me to be able to take care of my family because I'm taking care of his children. Does that make sense? So I can't be sacrificing all this for. For what? Right, for what? Because he wants me to ensure. And that's why I, my rates are going to get higher and higher as a day goes by, as I continue to build these systems. I have to raise my rates because I have more expenses now. And number two, I need to start taking care of my family and make profit, right? Especially with my husband retiring soon. Like this is a go time, right? This is a time when I, I know I produce results.
Edna Harding [00:26:15]:
I've been low balling myself or lowering the rates to help as many people I can, but that ship has sailed. And now it's time to make money. Still give the results, as I usually do. But now I have to raise my prices so that I can, what, not only be a blessing to my family, but be a blessing to many more people. Right? Because it takes money to fund the gospel. It takes money to help those that need help. Right. I can't help them with love.
Edna Harding [00:26:45]:
I can't help them with prayer, but if you have money, you could actually bring the solutions that they've been praying for. Does that make sense? All right. And the last thing is to set one new standard this week. What boundary are you willing to set? Right. So for me, mine is I'm not gonna. When someone wants to, you know, like, talk with me about their life story and things like that, there's a set time and place. I can't be on an hour and a half trying minister to them when I'm supposed to be working on my business. Does that make sense? That's one new boundary that I made right this week.
Edna Harding [00:27:21]:
Okay, so I want you guys to declare this. Wherever you are, I want you to say it out loud. Because there's something about hearing your words through your mouth, because first of all, your intellect hears it, but also your spirit hears it. And also the spirit world hears it as well. So say this out loud. I guard my heart because my business flows from it. I am chosen, equipped, and called. I no longer chase clients.
Edna Harding [00:28:04]:
I attract divine assignment in Jesus name. Amen. All right, so I'm going to end with a scripture to stand on. Proverbs, chapter 31, verse 25 says. And this verse, I know it's here, but I want you guys, you've heard this before last week, but I want you to hear it again. She is clothed with strength and dignity. She can laugh at days to come. My friend, brother and sister, be clothed with strength and dignity and laugh at days to come because bright days are ahead.
Edna Harding [00:28:40]:
All right, God bless you, my friends. I hope this blessed you, and I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week. Take care. Bye. Bye.
Edna Harding [00:28:51]:
Thanks for joining us this week on estrepreneur. Make sure to Visit our website favorandwealth.com for more information on our service. While you're at it, if you found value in this show, we'd appreciate a rating on itunes. Or if you simply tell a friend about the show, that would help me out, too. Also, check out my book, the ugly side of sales, available on Amazon, where I share seven of my secrets on how to win and grow business the right way. Until next time, keep shining.