Jewish Inspiration Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

In this Mussar Masterclass (Day 113) on the Gate of Silence in Orchos Tzaddikim, Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe explores the profound power of speech through Rabbi Shimon ben Gamliel's declaration: "All my life I grew up among sages and found nothing better for oneself than silence." King Solomon adds that even a fool appears wise when silent, and one regrets speech far more than silence.

The episode contrasts four (or five) categories of speech: forbidden (mockery, flattery, falsehood, slander—each excluding one from the World to Come by opposing Hashem's essence of oneness, truth, purpose, and sustenance); unnecessary/idle chatter (most worldly talk); and beloved/permissible speech (Torah study, praising good deeds, condemning evil to guide others, and essential livelihood matters). A clever servant's tongue dish (soft vs. hard) illustrates how words can uplift or devastate.

Rabbi Wolbe warns against modern pitfalls like social media's anonymous cruelty and sensationalism, urging mindful, positive speech that reflects inner holiness. Silence protects from sin, fosters listening, and allows deeper spiritual focus—ultimately elevating the soul.

Recorded at TORCH Centre in the Levin Family Studios (B) to a live audience on June 16, 2025, in Houston, Texas.
Released as Podcast on January 2, 2026
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This series on Orchos Tzadikim/Ways of the Righteous is produced in partnership with Hachzek.
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We are using the Treasure of Life edition of the Orchos Tzadikkim (Published by Feldheim)
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Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe, Director of TORCH in Houston, brings decades of Torah scholarship to guide listeners in applying Jewish wisdom to daily life.  To directly send your questions, comments, and feedback, please email: awolbe@torchweb.org
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What is Jewish Inspiration Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe?

This Jewish Inspiration Podcast is dedicated to learning, understanding and enhancing our relationship with Hashem by working on improving our G-d given soul traits and aspiring to reflect His holy name each and every day. The goal is for each listener to hear something inspirational with each episode that will enhance their life.

You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH in Houston, Texas. This is the Jewish Inspiration Podcast.

And now we are going to resume with day 113 on page 654 in the Treasure for Life edition of the Orchas Hadikim, the Ways of the Righteous, in the Gate of Silence. Maase b'Rabbi Gamliel sha'aseh su'adeh. There was once a story with Rabbi Gamliel. He made a feast and gave his servant some tongue to cook. He gave him some tongue. It's a very expensive piece of cut of meat. So what happened?
So what did he do? The servant cooked some well done and some very rare. So first he brought the rare cuts and then he served the well done, the hard ones. Now Gamliel called the servant and asked him, what prompted you to do this? Why did you do this? Why did you do this? See, he said, He said, why did you make some of them soft and some of them were much tougher? He said, He says, what are we eating? We're eating tongue.
He says, it's to remind you that with your tongue you can make things very soft and with your tongue you can make things very harsh. It's the words that we use have so much power. They have so much power that they can influence us in a very positive way or in a negative way to show you that everything comes from the tongue and that a man can make it soft or hard as he wishes. Okay, that means a person can use his words in a way that uplifts
or in a way that knocks someone down. You get the same point across, but one is going to be uplifting and one is going to be negative. You know, they teach an amazing thing. About parenting. That what you say to your child is what they will be. Meaning, if you say to your child, you know, you're a loser, the kid will be a loser. If you say to your child, you're a great kid, you're so smart, you're so intelligent, then that's what you'll be.
I want to say a story from our great friend of blessed memory. Gary Korn used to be in our class here and he once shared a story. He shared it many times, but he said the following story so many times. He said that the great inventor who invented the light bulb. You know what I'm talking about? Thomas Edison. He was what we would call today an ADHD student. And his mother sent him to school. And one day he came home with a letter from school, first grade.
He came home with the letter from school. And what was the letter? And the letter was written. Your son is not up to the caliber of the intellect of our students. Please do not send him back to school. And the mother started crying. So little Thomas asks his mother, why are you crying? What's the matter? So she says, your teacher wrote that you're too smart for school and they can't handle such smart students like you in school. And I'm so proud of you.
After she had passed away, he found that note. And this is after he had invented, after he had done so many amazing things. Just the change. She believed that he was brilliant. So he was brilliant. And many times teachers, particularly teachers, don't understand the sensitivity, the power they have in infusing their children, their students with a belief, you got this, you're amazing. I wanted to tell you one striking story that I recently heard.
There is a, I'm not going to say who it is because I don't want to say it, but either way, there is a Superbowl winning quarterback that was interviewed. And they, you know, after he won the, uh, the world, the, the, the, uh, Superbowl, you know, many outlets were interviewing and they said, you know, growing up, what was it like growing up where you grew up? He said on my way to school every morning, my dad, this is a story that
as, as, as an elementary school, as a young student, I, he said, I always had a dream to become a football player. He says, my dad would interview me as if I had just won the Superbowl. So how does it feel we're winning the Superbowl? And like, there's like almost prophetically predicting a victory in the Superbowl. But parents can do that with positivity. And I can guarantee you, you know, you look at many of the, uh, athletes who really excelled.
There was someone in their life who didn't believe in them, but there were many more people who did believe in them. Nope. But I will tell you something else. I'll tell you that, that, um, uh, JJ Watt, who's a Houston, uh, a Houston hero, uh, played for the Houston Texans. He actually, one of his, uh, great victories, he said he wanted to dedicate to his 10th grade coach who said he'll never amount to anything, who kicked him out of the team.
He says, I'm, I'm proving you wrong. It's an amazing thing. It's an amazing power. And how many times do people have a good encouragement that makes all the difference? They were ready to fail. They were ready to give up. And that word of positivity changed everything. This is where our author here is telling us the incredible, incredible responsibility we have with the words that we use. We use soft words, gentle words, loving words. They have a very, very powerful impact.
We use negative, harsh words, and they have a negative, a terribly, a terribly devastating impact. A certain king had many counselors, sages, and wise and understanding, uh, you know, advisors. Once the king noticed. He saw his wisest was just sitting still and silent. So the king asked him, He says, why are you so silent? You're just sitting there on the side and being silent. What did this advisor say to the king?
So this wise advisor of the king says, I have found that that speech can be divided up to four different categories. He says the first type, all terrible, such as men being accustomed to curse others and to speak indecently. They speak negative. They speak harsh. They speak disgusting words. Nothing productive comes out of that. That's the first type. So he says, there's another one. And that is detrimental in a particular respect and beneficial in a certain
respect, such as praising one to derive some benefit. So flatterer, he's flattering someone. He's saying something nice to him so that he can get something out of him. And through that praise, he's also angering his enemy and causing harm to the one praised. So what happens? You know, the Chavetz Chaim says that you should always say good things about people. He gives one exception to that rule. He says, when you see his competitor, hold back from saying good things. So you have two people who have supermarkets.
You have two people who have shoe shops. Don't say the wonderful things you want to say about Mr. A in front of Mr. B in front of his competitor. Why? Because they can't stomach you saying good things about their competitor. And I have seen this to be 1000% accurate. Where people you'd see, you'd think like, oh, what's the big deal? You both are doing business. You both are doing okay. Like what's the big, no, you should see how he cheats his clients.
You should see how he, you know, whatever it is, they never, it's very rare, very rare that you'll find someone who will be magnanimous and kind to their competitor. Very rare. The third type of speech. He says the third type of conversation is no benefit, no harm, nothing. Such as idle talk, how a certain wall was built or how much was spent on it and stories of kings and princes. It's insignificant. It has no, no real essence. It's just chatter.
People who just talk about the weather. It's like nothing's going to change if you talk about the weather. All right. Traffic. Oh, the traffic was terrible. It is what it is. Nothing's going to change. Right. It's, it's not beneficial, nothing's going to change because of your conversation. And then the fourth. The fourth is all beneficial talk. This is talk regarding Torah, which, what is Torah? Torah is teaching. Torah means teacher. Like Mora. Mora is a teacher.
Torah is a guidance. When you learn something, which is educational, that's beneficial. Of course, the study of our Torah, the Torah of the five books of Moses, the prophets, the writings, the Mishnah, the Midrash, the Kabbalah, the Talmud, the Halacha, these are all aspects of Torah that are very, very beneficial to a person. And things that are essential to life. Things that are essential to life. These are things that are always beneficial. He says, there are some of the Torah sages that divide speech into not four
categories, but rather five categories. What are the five categories? First type of talk is of mitzvah. The second one is to be avoided. The third type of talk is unnecessary talk. The fourth is beloved speech. And the fifth is permissible speech. So what is each one of these categories? To speak words of Torah and words that increase the fear of heaven. The speech that one should be avoiding at all costs. What is that? False testimony, that kind of speech, don't ever give.
Indecent speech, someone who speaks foul language, it's indecent. That's a speech that a person should avoid at all costs. And what else? Slander, speaking negatively about another person. By the way, it's not only speech that is negative about another person that will harm them, even if you think it won't harm them, it's just a practical joke on somebody else's account. Right now, it may not harm them. Right now, they may laugh with you. You know, you laugh at them like, here comes shorty, right?
Everyone's laughing and they get a good laugh and he laughs too, but it hurts. It hurts. That's painful. That's a type of speech. That's the second type of speech. Don't ever speak that because it's never beneficial. Giving false testimony is never beneficial. What does that mean also, giving false testimony? Same for saying something that's not truthful. Saying something that's not truthful. Midvar Sheker Tirchok, the Torah tells us, distance yourself from anything that has falsehood.
You know, some people say, well, why doesn't the Torah say, don't lie? It says, don't kill, don't murder. It says, don't steal. You should just say, don't lie. Because the people can always say, well, it's not exactly a lie. There's some truth to it. You know what the Torah says? Midvar Sheker Tirchok, from anything that has even a smidgen of falsehood. Tirchok, distance yourself from it. Definitely, a black on white lie should be avoided at all costs.
Nimas, what is the type of speech which is unnecessary or repulsive? She'en bo lo haver v'lo to'eles, kirov sipurei olam. He says, unnecessary speech is what he calls it. He says, speech containing neither transgression nor benefit. In inconsequential talk, chatter, idle chatter, as most of the world's talk, such as speaking of what has already been done and the customs of kings and other such things of the affairs of the world. The people talk, kirov sipurei olam, kigon l'daber mizzeh she'naseh kvar u'mim minhag
minhag balochim, v'kam edvor minyonei olam, which might fall into the category of yesterday's news, right? Today's news maybe also. All right, what is it? It's inconsequential. The consumption of news might be here on the chopping block. All right, people are just like all day. What's going to change? What's going to, it's our curiosity. And for some people, politics is sports. It's the modern day sports, right? What are we going to, we're not playing ball, right?
So the way we can talk about politics, we can talk about our candidate. We can talk about our party. We can talk about Israel. We can talk, by the way, Israel politics is brutal. Stay out of Israeli politics, please, my dear friends. All right, either way. I'll tell you why, by the way, I'll tell you, I'll tell you why. And that's because what is, what is politics? Is politics a Torah thing? So most people say like keep Judaism and politics separate.
So the honest truth is everything in Judaism is about politics. Why? What is politics? How life should be lived. With what morals, with what values. That's what politics really is. It's the argument of what is the right and or wrong way of conducting life as a society. Right. So that's why, you know, you think of what goes on in Israel. You think, you think in, in, in the United States, politics is, is, is a fire topic or a fire of how people conduct their politics.
In Israel, it's 10 times worse. The name calling, the, the berating. It's just like you see one session of Knesset and you're like, wow, we're so civil in the Senate, in the House. It is really, it's unbelievable. But either way, why is it? Because the Talmud tells us that the land of Israel is acquired with great difficulty. It's not easy. Moses tried, he didn't make it. How many of our sages set sail to hopefully make it to the land of Israel and didn't make it?
It's very difficult to acquire the land of Israel. People think they're just going to sit in the land of Israel and everything's going to be great. I'll get on my United flight. Oh, there are no United flights. It's canceled. Why is it canceled? Well, there's another war. It's not easy. I can tell you, I got phone calls today from people whose children are stuck in Israel. They're stuck in Israel because school just ended for the American students and they can't get out. There's no flights.
It's not easy. It's not easy. The land of Israel is not an easy land. There's reasons for it. It's a great blessing, but it comes with a great responsibility. So, and then there's the fifth type of speech, and that is Ne'ev. I'm sorry, the fourth type of speech, which is Ne'ev. Huwa dibur ha'mishabeach ma'asim tovum u'miganeh ma'asim raim. This is a speech that praises good deeds and disgraces evil deeds.
K'dei she'yeitivu minhageyhem be'einei b'nei odom ve'yelchu be'darkeyhem ve'leganu sorom ad she'yizganu ve'yim'asu ve'einei b'nei odom ve'yimach zichrom ve'yisra chakumehem ve'lo yisnaagu be'minhagam. He says, what is the beloved speech? Speech that praises the good and disgraces the evil deeds. Praising the deeds of the righteous to credit their customs in the eyes of others so that they emulate their ways. And condemning the evildoers so that they are demeaned and made despicable in the eyes of people.
And their memories blotted out so that people remove themselves from them and do not emulate their ways. So we see, meaning, what is this telling us? You see people doing good, praise them. You see people doing bad, the Chavetz Chaim says that one of the few times that one is allowed to say lashon hara is to teach your children to stay away from the path of evildoers. You say this is evil. You can show your children so that they learn the right from the wrong.
And finally, the fifth type of speech, which is hamota, which is the permissible speech. Hu'adibur shoschora le'parnasa ve'inin marbusha ve'inin achila ve'shtia ve'sha'ar tsorakav. He says, what's permissible speech? He says, speech of trade for one's livelihood, of clothing, food, drink and other needs. U'mi shemimayet devarav afilu b'zeh o'inyon harezim m'shuba. And if one is able to minimize his speech on even these permitted areas of speech, it's to be praised. Lefi divrei chachamim, according to the sages, most of the world's talk is unnecessary talk.
Rov divrei olam ein bo tzorach, people talk and chitchat about anything in the world, meaningless conversation. Me'lvad dvorim she'yesh Yisr gado le'dab eberhem keigon le'tzonus ve'chanifus ve'sheker ve'loshnehoro ve'al elu ha'arba ye'shlich tovshar le'chol echod vefnei atzmo le'kamon. And he says, listen, he says, most of the world's talk is unnecessary. Aside from those modes of speech, which are explicitly forbidden, aside for that, what are they? Mockery, flattery, falsehood and slander. These three are really, really devastating. And each of which will have a special gate devoted to them upcoming.
So we'll see that soon. But here, our sages, the author here, shares with us that le'tzonus, which is mockery. What is mockery? Making fun of another person. Making fun of another person. You're basically saying they're worthless. Did God create everything for a reason? Yes. Correct answer. Yes. Right. God created everything for a purpose. When you mock something, you're saying that person has no purpose. Right. You think of late night shows.
They can pick a, they pick a victim, whoever that victim is, and they're going to mock them as much as they can. Why? Because it gets laughs. We're not talking about stand-up comedy, which could laugh about a concept. It can laugh, not generally, they don't laugh about a person. Late night shows are very different. They'll pick a target and they will beat them to a pulp.
And that's really, really, I think one of the worst things, you know, to talk in a way about another person that'll be harmful. The Hanifus, which is flattery, flattery, our sages tell us is, you know, actually the Talmud, Intractate Sotah, I think it's 42a, says the following. It says that any of these four individuals, someone who's mocking others, someone who flatters others, someone who speaks falsehood and someone who speaks slander, all of these four have no place in the world to come. God doesn't want to be in their midst.
God doesn't want them near him. Get away. Why? Talmud, the commentary is given explanation. I'll just share with you very, very quickly. The Maharal talks about these four and he says that these four are represented in the four letters of God's name, the Yud, the He and the Vav and the He. The Yud is the only letter that cannot be cut in half. It can't be sliced to make any other letters. Most other letters are a composite of other letters.
So, for example, a He is a Dalit and a Yud, a Vav is two Yuds, an Aleph is a Vav and two Yuds. You know, there's different letters that you put them together and it makes another letter. A Yud is only one, which means Hashem is one. Hashem is one. Hashem is one and only one. What is someone who is a flatterer? What's the definition of someone who's a flatterer? Someone who wants something from you and they're going to compliment you even though they don't like it.
They're going to lie about it. They're going to be two faced. We call it two faced, right? The Talmud refers to it as one at heart and one at mouth. That means they're trying to curry favor with you and they say, oh, wow, that's a really pretty shirt. That's a really pretty blouse. That's a really nice house. And they turn around, they're like, disgusting, right? They don't really mean it, but they're just saying it to curry favor with you because they want something.
Oh, you're two faced. You can't be in the midst of God, in God's presence. Why? Because God is oneness. God is one. He can't handle when you are not being truthful and not being, you know, when you're being two faced. And so on each of the letters, like hey, hey is the creation of the world. God created the world with a hey. So everything Hashem creates is for a purpose. And here you mock someone, which is saying he has no purpose.
You're contradicting to the presence of God. The Vav, the Vav is the letter that connects things. Whenever you say and in Hebrew, it's V, you use the Vav, is the otah chibur. So that means the God's existence of this world is maintained with the hand of Hashem. How are things maintained? Through truth. Only truth stands. Falsehood eventually collapses. What's the third person that we mentioned? Someone who lies. You don't speak truth. God can't, you can't be in the presence of God.
And then finally, the last hey, which is the hey of the cycle where God sustains this world. And that is lashon hara. Speaking negatively about someone else is, I don't remember exactly how to say it. How that connection works. But there's a connection there of the second hey and lashon hara. And therefore, each person who speaks in these four categories of speech is in their very essence contradicting to God's essence. And God says, I don't want to be near someone who opposes the very existence of my
existence. OK, because these are the qualities of God. God is truthful. God is one. God is the creator. God created everything for a purpose. God sustains this world. And here you go. And you're saying someone is not worthy of being in God's world. Well, God did think he was worthy, which is why he gave him life. And you're speaking negatively about them. God, each one of these things, each one are really, really phenomenal to understand this.
OK, so this concludes day number 113, my dear friends. Thank you.

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