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What if you could get more of what you want in life? But not through pushing, forcing, or pressure.
You can.
When it comes to money, time, and energy, no one’s gonna turn away more.
And Kate Northrup, Bestselling Author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and host of Plenty, is here to help you expand your capacity to receive all of the best.
As a Money Empowerment OG who’s been at it for nearly 2 decades, Kate’s the abundance-oriented best friend you may not even know you’ve always needed.
Pull up a chair every week with top thought leaders, luminaries, and adventurers to learn how to have more abundance with ease.
In order to be able to receive infinitely, you have to be willing to go all in. I was also the woman who was like, and I have a Sunday Times bestselling book. I was also the woman who said, when I write, people read. When I speak, people listen. I programmed my body to believe that before it had happened.
Kate Northrup:Get ready because today, my guest is going to change your life. Her name is Suzy Ashworth. She is the Sunday Times bestseller of Infinite Receiving, the host of the top podcast by the same name, and the creator of the quantum transformation method. Her work has been featured by the BBC, Forbes, and more, and I've known Suzy since she created the world's very first online video based hypnobirthing program called the Calm Birthing School. And now, gosh, twelve plus years later, she is an absolute icon in the women's leadership and abundance in business space, and coaching space around audacity, around vulnerability, around stepping into your greatness, and about, of course, receiving.
Kate Northrup:So in today's podcast episode, we are taking a beautiful winding road together talking about Suzy's upbringing with her foster family, talking about vulnerability and how we can live open hearted in a fundamentally heartbreaking world and what love and sex and money and receiving all have to do with each other. So if you have felt up against an edge around your ability to receive in any area of your life, whether it's your marriage, whether it's, pleasure, whether it's financial or anything else, this episode is for you. So enjoy the great, the wonderful, the beautiful, the hilarious, Suzy Ashworth. Welcome to Plenty, a weekly recalibration of power, money, and safety for high capacity humans. I'm Kate Northrup, best selling author and creator of Relaxed Money, and this is where neuroscience meets ancient wisdom meets real wealth strategy.
Kate Northrup:This is the sacred conversation at the intersection of money, the body, and the life you're truly here to live. If you're ready to reimagine what's possible for yourself and for the world, you're in the right place. Let's go.
Speaker 3:Hi, Suzy. Hello. Thank you so much
Kate Northrup:for flying all the way Yeah. From England for this conversation. We're finally on the same continent. We And I will say you and I met in 2014 online because I was on your original podcast. We're gonna talk about that trajectory.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. And then a couple years ago, it was the summer before Infinite Receiving came out. Did you notice I did purple for your brand?
Speaker 4:I did one.
Speaker 3:You. You're welcome.
Kate Northrup:And so Infinite Receiving was coming out, and and you asked me to read an advanced reader copy. And I found it so helpful because of the ways that you describe things in a way that I never would or had never heard before. So okay. We're so we're gonna talk about that. Thank you.
Kate Northrup:Mhmm. Mhmm. Mhmm. So I will just say welcome, and I'm so happy to be here with you in person twelve years after we first connected, which was on a birth related podcast. Oh, What was your podcast then?
Kate Northrup:What were you doing?
Suzy Ashworth:It was something like motherhood, business, and something.
Kate Northrup:That makes sense. Yeah. How old were your kids in 2014?
Suzy Ashworth:My second child was well, would have been coming up to two years old. Okay. And then, yeah, my first
Kate Northrup:After that.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Wow. Crazy. You know, it's interesting. I find that when so many women entrepreneurs become mothers Mhmm. It is impossible for us to talk about anything else other than the intersection of motherhood and business Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Which I'm so grateful for. Like, when I had kids, I completely changed my business and my topic to motherhood and business. And then as they got older, I didn't want to talk about it anymore. Is that what happened to you? Or tell me your story.
Suzy Ashworth:I well, they Yeah. Were my They were my business. Without having Caesar and Coco at home using hypnobirthing, I would not be sat here today. So I am so grateful for that because when I had Coco, I decided to retrain as a hypnotherapist and a psychotherapist and a hypnobirthing practitioner. And everybody had said to me, you can't really make money with hypnobirthing.
Suzy Ashworth:And I was like Watch me.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Basically. Well, to to be
Suzy Ashworth:fair, I tried to do hypnotherapy and psychotherapy for people who had anxiety and depression Okay. And I realized that that just wasn't my bag. I wasn't very good at it. And I suppose, even though I was working with mothers, some of some of whom had anxiety Yeah. I just I really hypnobirthing had changed my life.
Suzy Ashworth:And I think that often, when I'm working with people now, they've come through a personal experience. They've had something that has been a defining moment for them. And they're like, I care about this so much. I wanna share this with the world. And that was my experience with hypnobirthing.
Suzy Ashworth:So I was like, fuck it. I'm gonna do it. And yeah, I created the world's first video based hypnobirthing program called the Calmbirth School, which is still in existence and It's incredible.
Kate Northrup:Changed my whole trajectory. And imagine how many births Got to be so beautiful and healing as a result of you claiming that.
Suzy Ashworth:It's wild. It's wild that people now still come into my DMs, and they're like, you don't know me, but you supported me through my second, third, fourth birth. And I'm like Incredible. Yeah. Crazy.
Kate Northrup:Okay. I I'm sure what I'm about to say is obvious, but but maybe not. I cannot help but see the parallels between hypnobirthing and the process of a calm birth
Suzy Ashworth:Yep.
Kate Northrup:And what you do now teaching about infinite receiving. So I'd love to know the story of that transition, how you moved from the calm birth school to really, you know, supporting women in receiving massive amounts of money and other forms of abundance.
Suzy Ashworth:Well, as with all business stories, it's not linear.
Kate Northrup:Of course. And there
Suzy Ashworth:have been have been so many ups and downs and rounds and rounds. However, I just wanna I just wanna circle back to a tiny thing that you said about now no longer wanting to speak about your kids.
Kate Northrup:Oh, yeah. I don't I I said that in a very, like, I love talking about my kids, and I love talking about parenthood. Yeah. You said it in a very pat way. What
Suzy Ashworth:would you like to say? Just well, now I'm in a very different phase
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Suzy Ashworth:Again. My Teenagers. Kids Right? I've got teenagers. So my kids are 15, 13, and my youngest will be 10 in July, which is wild.
Suzy Ashworth:And I'm now a single mom. Mhmm. So when we first met, I was married and was together with my ex for fifteen years. So the whole dynamic has changed. And whilst I don't my kids are not part of my brand, they have never really been part of my brand.
Suzy Ashworth:So I've never talked about them at loads. Who I am every single stage, of course, is massively influenced by who I am being as a human being. Yeah. And it's funny because infinite receiving is the foundation of everything that I do, but that is more of a foundation now. It's not even the lead thing two years on because I am so different because they're making me different.
Suzy Ashworth:Mhmm. Like every single day. So it's just it's interesting to me that I learned so much about myself through who I am as a mother, and who I am as a coach is absolutely influenced by who I'm being as a mother. And even though there are so many days where I feel like I am failing massively, I also know that through each of those seemingly seeming failures, I am learning more about myself. I'm learning more about my own shadows.
Suzy Ashworth:I'm learning also about my own strengths, and all of that gets funneled into the business and how I'm coaching, especially how I'm coaching mothers because, obviously, I attract a lot of them.
Kate Northrup:Of course, you do. And just because it's not the overhead banner of, like, motherhood and whatever doesn't mean that, like you said, it's not actually in the invisible heartbeat in some ways or absolutely foundational. Yeah. I'm I'm really glad you said that. Okay.
Kate Northrup:Great. So there you are Yeah. With the world's first
Suzy Ashworth:Yes.
Kate Northrup:Hypnobirthing video Yes. Training
Suzy Ashworth:Yes.
Kate Northrup:System Yeah. Which people can still get. Yeah. Where?
Suzy Ashworth:If you go to the calmbirthschool.com.
Kate Northrup:Okay. Great. Like I know.
Speaker 3:We can go you we might have some
Kate Northrup:pregnant people listening.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Okay. Great. And then, you've got your small babies. Well, two of them, and then another one came up. You're married.
Kate Northrup:And whatever feels relevant today Yeah. In the journey to where you are now, I wanna hear what were some of those key moments of moving away. Because one of the things that I think is really stops people from going for it in Yep. In business and just doing their own thing is they think they have to choose the right thing to start with. And you and I are great examples of, like, yeah, you really you really there is no such thing as the right thing, and you'll evolve over time.
Kate Northrup:I mean, you just even said, like, two years ago, your book came out, and now it's not even the forward facing, which I'm so excited to get into what is right now. But, like, just that permission to let it evolve over time. So I'd love to hear that story.
Suzy Ashworth:Well, I just have to say that you are a massive permission slip to me on that front because seeing your trajectory and your willingness to be like, okay, done with that now. That's successful work done. I'm like, okay. If Kate can do it, I can do it.
Kate Northrup:Are you do know your human design?
Suzy Ashworth:I'm a generator.
Kate Northrup:You're a generator. Yeah. And do you know your lines?
Suzy Ashworth:Six two.
Kate Northrup:Okay. I don't know enough about human design
Speaker 3:to even know what that is. Okay. Great. Carry on. You for your your line.
Speaker 3:Thank you for your share. I was try
Speaker 4:was try side note. I was
Suzy Ashworth:trying to impress a guy, and so this is the whole thing. I should not be trying to impress a guy. The guy should try to be trying to impress me, and I caught myself, but I was a bit like, did the same thing, like, oh, when's your birthday? I'm gonna have a look at your human design, and I
Speaker 4:thought, I don't know anything about human design. I know I know mine, and I'm just learning. Exactly. Same.
Suzy Ashworth:I do know that for six twos, you're coming I'm coming into my prime. So when I hit 50 in a few years time, that is really when I am supposed to go.
Kate Northrup:I mean, I can only imagine
Speaker 3:what is going to transpire I'm
Suzy Ashworth:open to receiving.
Speaker 3:How incredible you already are. Okay. Great. Yeah.
Suzy Ashworth:I think the big thing was what I realized is that I was quite different from all of my peers. All of my peers were obsessed with birth, and vaginas, and breastfeeding, and everything baby, and I actually wasn't. I was obsessed with building a brand and building a business. And, you know, I was just there like on YouTube, like how do I build a sales page? How do I do a lead magnet?
Suzy Ashworth:Like, I just loved all of that. And I was like, this is interesting. And I was working with a coach, and I can't remember what preceded this question, but she said to me, if you had a million in the bank right now, what would you do? And I said, well, I would teach other people how to do this. And she was like, well, you should do that then.
Suzy Ashworth:Yeah. And because I'm very coachable,
Speaker 3:I went, okay. Amazing.
Suzy Ashworth:And so I started teaching pre and postnatal specialists how to make their first £1,000 online. And that was that was crucial to my success, which appeared to happen relatively quickly. I suppose it did happen relatively quickly. I narrowed in on something very specific. I knew how those women thought.
Suzy Ashworth:I knew what they were afraid of. At that point in time, people really weren't doing online businesses in the pre and postnatal world. So When
Speaker 4:was this?
Suzy Ashworth:Well, it was, yeah. 2013, 2014. So definitely early adopter. Yeah. Yeah.
Suzy Ashworth:So, yeah. I made my inroads on that front, and it's really just I continued. First, it was at first January, then it was the mindset to do it.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Suzy Ashworth:And I always say that hypnobirthing and building a business, it is the same. Yeah. Like for me, I'm like, what do you want? Like, what is the goal? What are your fears around achieving the goal?
Suzy Ashworth:Let's release those fears, and then this is the path, the strategy, and the tactics that you're going to need to get there. That's exactly what I was teaching people in birth. Right. So it just it easily transitioned. And then for me, it's always been about what feels good and also what is not feeling good and when things stop feeling good.
Suzy Ashworth:So if we go all of the way back, I made a promise to myself when I was probably about 22, 23 years old. And I said to myself, would never work in a job that didn't satisfy me for longer than three months. And I made that promise to myself. And there was a sticky period in my business when I hit a decade. And I think that was because of the expectations of I've been in business for ten years, it should feel like x y zed.
Suzy Ashworth:Right? And I didn't. So there was a little bit of a period there, but I can honestly say that I've never worked on anything or in anything for longer than three months where my heart hasn't really been like, this is my thing. And I think that that has been the biggest permission slip for myself to change when I felt the nudge to change. Yeah.
Suzy Ashworth:I feel like I've just gone all over the place No. Of
Kate Northrup:It's like, it is so fantastic. So one of the things there's a couple things I noticed about you.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:And, you know, we don't know each other super well, but we're in this pure mastermind. So I get bits and bobs, and then I get a little bit on social media. So I noticed that you have a lot of audacity. Mhmm. I noticed that you have great boundaries.
Kate Northrup:Mhmm. And I also noticed that you know? And then and then you have this particular topic around receiving, which we're gonna talk about where that has evolved to. But I wanna know with your audacity, you know, with your like, just even when I see photos of you at particular, like, or parties or your poll exhibitions, like Mhmm. Then even some of the stuff that you say online, I'm just like, damn.
Kate Northrup:She just, like, goes. And I don't have that. And so I wanna learn from you. Mhmm. And I one of the things I've been playing with myself is dialing up my audacity.
Kate Northrup:Mhmm. And last year, my theme of the year was wearing my crown, and, I don't know that I really have one this year, but I well, it's my word is synchronicity. But, anyway, so I wanna know, were you born that way, or did that develop over time, the willingness to just, like, claim something, be bold in words, in visual, in your energy, in the way you show up, in the things you say to people?
Suzy Ashworth:I think that it's probably fifty fifty. So my foster parents, I remember them telling me that when they took me to nursery school for the first time, they thought that I was going to be really shy and really reserved because up until that point, like people would say hi to me, and I would like literally hide underneath my mom's And then when they took me to nursery, they said, we're not sure. And I just kind of went in and was like,
Speaker 3:hey, I've arrived. And they were like,
Suzy Ashworth:who is this child? So there was definitely that within me, but what I also know to be true is that during like the equivalent of high school, I was very much a chameleon. So I was I could put on different masks and really fit in with all of the different crowds, which was a very useful skill, but I wasn't really being myself. And so I think that over the last thirteen years of being in business, there has been a releasing of masks to a certain extent. I mean, I'm still always working on it.
Suzy Ashworth:And as I'm releasing my masks, there is a truth that comes through that is more effortless. So you're not the first person to talk about my audacity, but outside of maybe pole dancing, which does feel like quite out there, It is also
Kate Northrup:It's the dancing itself, but it's really the outfits
Speaker 3:for The hair, like the
Kate Northrup:whole thing is so good.
Suzy Ashworth:It's like my butt is on show. Yeah. And I'm okay It's with
Kate Northrup:a great ass, so why would you not?
Suzy Ashworth:Yeah. Yeah. It is it's been a practice. I remember there was one point probably around the third year in business where I was writing, and it was like a like, I'm a creative. And I had been told for years and years, you're not creative.
Suzy Ashworth:Like I used to work in sales, and they had the creative team, and then they had the sales team. And I was on the sales team, and I'd be like, I've got an idea. And they'd be like, you are literally not allowed to have an idea. Like, the creative team have an idea. And I bought into that.
Suzy Ashworth:And then it wasn't until yeah. I remember doing this themed shoot where I was being Annie. I'd like picked out different musical heroes.
Kate Northrup:You were being Annie?
Speaker 3:Yeah. So I had this red
Suzy Ashworth:red wig, I was Dorothy, I was William Cabaret. I mean, was really fun. Yeah. But it was in the creation You of
Kate Northrup:were Sally Bowles?
Suzy Ashworth:I was Sally Bowles.
Kate Northrup:Yes.
Suzy Ashworth:Get it. Yeah. So I'm I was like Okay.
Speaker 3:I'm like, sorry. I'm just like planning my musical inspired shoot. Okay. Go.
Suzy Ashworth:There's this thing. It was like fly your freak flag. And I think it was a woman called Jenna Sword actually, who first, I did one of her programs many years ago, and she said that it really stuck with me. It was like, what are the things that are uniquely me, and give yourself permission to be from that place. And so life really over the last ten years has just been more and more allowing of who I really am.
Suzy Ashworth:And also and this is I'm like, I'm so in this right now, but just releasing those parts of me that say you shouldn't, you're not allowed, you should feel ashamed, you should feel guilty. And so much of that has been, well, just across every single area, parenting, sexuality, sensuality, using my voice, also not using my voice. And I think that in the online world, you are expected to have an opinion about all of the things. And there have been times where I've been like tempted to be drawn into that because I am a thought leader. And it's like, do you know what?
Suzy Ashworth:I can have a thought about anything that I like, but if I'm gonna put it online, then I need to have the context.
Kate Northrup:Yes.
Suzy Ashworth:I need to have the clarity. And anybody that says that I'm heartless or don't care or should be using my platform for something different because I have, you know, a relatively large platform or an influential platform. I'm just like, you know what? No. And even that feels a little bit rebellious.
Kate Northrup:It's incredibly rebellious. Yeah. And I will just say, like, general PSA, coming after, quote, unquote, thought leaders, you know, people like you to tell you what you should or should not be doing is not healing the problems of the world. That is not the best use of anybody's time and energy. So, anyway, it's just like Yeah.
Kate Northrup:I really agree with you on this topic. Can you tell me about a specific time, could be recent, could be something from before, when you wanted to whether it was, a shoot or a a pole dancing exhibition or a way you wanted to use your voice and say something disruptive in the industry or just whatever. Can you tell me about a specific time when you came up against one of those, like, you shouldn't, you should pipe down, you shouldn't be seen that way or whatever, and how you met yourself in that place? Oh.
Suzy Ashworth:What's coming up for me is, and it's funny because this was a defining moment for the world, obviously, 2020 and COVID, BLM and George Floyd. And what I was experiencing personally was just, I mean, and everybody was to a certain extent, like just cognitive dissonance because there was, it was so divisive, and particularly with the BLM movement, and at this point, like people were all posting black squares, and it was like this is solidarity, and this is this, But I felt so confused because I'd been brought up with white foster parents, and I did not feel like there was a place for me to process really anywhere what I was experiencing as a dark skinned black woman who was brought up in a white environment to see and experience racism and people's response to racism in a very unique way on such a global scale. And really, what was happening is people were saying, you're black, can you speak about this? You're black, can you speak about what's your opinion about this? What's your opinion about that?
Suzy Ashworth:And I'm really proud of myself, because I did I did make a comment, but it was very much about my experience. You know? It wasn't, I didn't allow myself to get drawn into speaking on behalf of all black people, which is what people wanted me to do. I'm like, are you crazy? Like like what is going on?
Suzy Ashworth:So to be able to consistently say no to people that were just not, I mean, no harm. They weren't trying to be deliberately harmful, but who were just not getting it. But then also and I don't feel like I ever got a solution to this because my situation is a little more unique than many other black people because of my upbringing. But I spent a lot of time with myself asking again, it's the truth. It's like, what is true to me whilst acknowledging all of the blind spots that I have because of my upbringing as well.
Suzy Ashworth:And so that's really still an ongoing Yeah. Process. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:So you how old were you when you moved to your foster parents' home?
Suzy Ashworth:Three months old.
Kate Northrup:Okay. So you're a baby baby. Mhmm. And then were you with them your entire Mhmm. Childhood?
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. And did you ever or was it on the plate to did you I I think you talked about it in your book, but I can't quite remember the story around your and did you end up being adopted or no?
Suzy Ashworth:We weren't I mean, we don't have
Kate Northrup:to get into the legalities yet.
Suzy Ashworth:As close to adopted as you can can be.
Kate Northrup:In your scenario. Okay. Great. And so with your with your adopted adoptive mom?
Speaker 3:Yep.
Kate Northrup:And there were some some healing that you did. Yeah? Can you remind me, like, what some of that thread is and what some of that story is? Because wasn't there was there a thread? And maybe I'm, like, completely making it up, in which case we'll just edit this part out.
Kate Northrup:Was there not a story around wanting to connect with your biological mother? Was that not a thing?
Suzy Ashworth:So I didn't see my biological mother from the age of eight to 18.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Kate Northrup:And But you did until the age of eight?
Suzy Ashworth:Until the age of eight.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. You would see her from baby all the way to eight. Yeah.
Suzy Ashworth:Wow. Which had its own challenges. Yeah. And then, yeah, we were not in each other's lives until I was 18. And then my biological father was not really there.
Suzy Ashworth:I think the biggest healing that I've done within that dynamic, and again, there's just so much, so much more to do. It started when I was living in Mexico, and this is really where infinite receiving started. And I went for a, like, Reiki type experience. And the woman did some really incredible energetic, but also bodywork on me. And at the end, she said, there is just a lot of stuff on your left side.
Suzy Ashworth:And she said that is usually associated with your male lineage. And I was like, that's weird. I I would have Totally. Thought I got mommy issues. Like, I thought it was and and was really like That's so interesting.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. I was always told the left was more the feminine side in connection with your maternal.
Suzy Ashworth:Like, I said, maybe maybe it maybe it was the other way.
Kate Northrup:But I could also be wrong.
Suzy Ashworth:Either way.
Speaker 3:Regardless. Yeah.
Suzy Ashworth:She was like, it's about It's
Kate Northrup:about your male age.
Suzy Ashworth:And it didn't really resonate with me. I got out of the room. I left the room, got into a taxi, and I was just in floods of tears. Floods and floods of tears. And it was just like, it was like, you have been protecting your heart since you were a baby.
Suzy Ashworth:Your first heartbreak was with your father. And I was like
Kate Northrup:Did you hear that?
Suzy Ashworth:It was a knowing. It's like clear cognizance. Uh-huh. It was just like, that's what it is. And really from that point on, understanding that my heart had been pretty much, like, locked away in a in a little prison to stop it being Yeah.
Suzy Ashworth:Stop myself being heartbroken again. And so much of the work that I have done over the last, I suppose, five five years has been around allowing my heart to be more open, being more open hearted. And it's it's a really interesting thing for me to consider because if you ask people to describe my personality, I'm sure they would say she's a really kindhearted person. And it's like
Kate Northrup:For sure.
Suzy Ashworth:There's a difference between kindhearted and openhearted. And it's very vulnerable to live life with your heart open because when your heart is open, you you run the risk of it being broken. When your heart is open, you're saying I'm willing to go all in. And, you know, whether it is work, whether it is relationships, intimate, or just general relationships, in order to get the most, in order to be able to receive infinitely, you have to be willing to go all in, and most people are not. And in many areas, I am still not willing to go all in, and I think that that's the beautiful thing about the work that we get to do is that it's so hard to see it for yourself, but when you have people who are like, I really wanna change my life, I really wanna earn more money, I really wanna create more impact.
Suzy Ashworth:When you're good at what it is that you do, you help people see the blind spots of where they are holding themselves back because they're afraid of being judged, being shamed, feeling guilty, getting it wrong. You know, they're all things that we hold in our hearts. Yeah. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. So say as much or as little as you want, because I really respect boundaries. But I'm curious if there's anything that you would share around how you have been on the edges around opening your heart in the last five years, especially knowing the changes in your personal life and going from being married for fifteen years to now being this super hot single lady. And, you know, and what has that been like either in the divorce process or in the dating process or, you know, anything that you would wanna share about how do we stay open hearted when the world is fundamentally heartbreaking?
Suzy Ashworth:Oh my gosh. That's such a great question. I think it's really hard. I think it's really, really hard, and I think that it takes a lot of support. I think that people have to understand that that is your goal.
Suzy Ashworth:And when I say support, I mean, yes, having a good friendship network around you. You know, I have so many incredible friends who I've been friends with for, you know, over two decades. But it's interesting. Those friendships that I've had for twenty five years, they know me in a very very different way. So even though we don't know each other so well, I can probably be more open and vulnerable with you because of the context of our relationship.
Suzy Ashworth:And so it's that, but but for me, because I value loyalty, because I really understand what chosen family means, those old friendships are so important to me. But if I only allowed myself to be in those old friendships, there is no way that I could flourish the way that I desire to flourish. So I think that your intimate circle of friend is really important and obviously your coaches and your mentors. But the biggest thing is is the relationship that you're having with you and you and your inner voice and your willingness to go within. And I think that for me, that has been it's been the biggest work, but it's again, it's still also the most challenging work because how fucking easy is it to just to be like scrolling through Instagram and just like you're tired, you're dealing with kids, you're dealing with business, it's
Speaker 4:like, don't wanna have a conversation with with me and me right now. I just want to doomscroll, watch some spoken word on Instagram, and be happy with myself,
Suzy Ashworth:you know?
Speaker 4:That is what I wanna do.
Suzy Ashworth:But I can't do that all of the time if I want to have the love, the abundance in every single area.
Kate Northrup:Right.
Suzy Ashworth:Because what I know is that our blind spots are, I mean, they're called blind spots for a reason. Right?
Kate Northrup:Right. We don't know what they are. If we knew, we wouldn't have them.
Suzy Ashworth:Exactly. Yeah. So but where this has shown up most is in intimate relationship. You know, I've had to do a lot of just taking self responsibility in my relationship with my ex husband. Now, of course, there were moments where I was a bit like, God, if I'd have known what I know now then, would it have been different?
Suzy Ashworth:And the answer is absolutely not, you know. And even two weeks ago, I was there on the phone saying, you know, I love you. You are an amazing dad. And even though I find you exceedingly annoying at times, I love you. I'm always gonna love you because I do.
Suzy Ashworth:We our relationship was Kismet. You know, we met and I knew the night that I met him, we were gonna be married. Wow. So there was no doubt in my mind that we were there for a reason and for many, many lessons. But do I think that he was supposed to be my lifelong?
Suzy Ashworth:No, I don't. But my heart was not completely open. And to acknowledge that and take responsibility for that and understand how that impacted our dynamic has been a really big deal for me.
Kate Northrup:I see this so frequently with women I work with around money. Mhmm. This closed heartedness and inability to receive. Mhmm. Obviously, it shows up in intimate relationship.
Kate Northrup:You just described that really beautifully. I've seen it in my own marriage. You know, my husband has so much to give, and sometimes it feels like too much. And it honestly, the feeling is such profound discomfort. And obviously, it's resistance to opening up to really receive all that that is.
Kate Northrup:And, you know, I felt it when I so I had a c section for my first baby, a surprise c section. And and then on my second, I had a VBAC, and she was a hundredth percentile head size.
Suzy Ashworth:Congratulations. Well done. You're amazing.
Kate Northrup:Coming out of vagina that had never done that before with no drugs. So that level of also opening was like, oh, I'm gonna die if I open this wide. And it is not different even though it's energetic
Suzy Ashworth:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Right, in my marriage. And and I wanna know what you have to say about that feeling when it comes to women and money, and how does it translate? What are the parallels? How can we open to infinite receiving
Suzy Ashworth:when it's so terrifying. It's so terrifying.
Kate Northrup:Like it does obliterate you.
Suzy Ashworth:So here's the thing as well, is that I am great at receiving. I still have trouble keeping it. I'm like, because I know that I can always receive more, there's another level of
Speaker 4:healing around just allowing it
Suzy Ashworth:to I be in the
Kate Northrup:can help you with that. Yeah. You you and I have a good polarity going. Because making and keeping are two different Yeah. Skill
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Suzy Ashworth:Two different skill sets, two different energetics. However, at the foundation, it's still around worthiness.
Kate Northrup:It is. It is.
Suzy Ashworth:It's still around worthiness. So I think that for me, personally, it's the competitive side actually.
Kate Northrup:Oh, that's so fun.
Suzy Ashworth:If I'm really honest, and competitive, it's more like why not me?
Kate Northrup:Right. So Which is circling back to audacity.
Suzy Ashworth:Yeah. And I what I realized is that often people wait to feel worthy. When I feel worthy, I will allow myself to. And what I realized is that worthiness is a decision. Mhmm.
Suzy Ashworth:And so I decided that I was worthy enough because if you can, then why not me? And that has really served me in ways that I could not imagine. Like you you you're a stat person, and
Kate Northrup:so A stat person. Yes. I do. I love my data.
Suzy Ashworth:You you love the data. And I was thinking about the fact that, you know, what you've done in business is absolutely extraordinary. And I don't know how often you are like really allow yourself to reflect on that. I mean, I reflect on it all the time.
Speaker 4:I don't. I don't. However,
Suzy Ashworth:the times where I allow myself to be like, the fact that I have had a business that has lasted beyond five years as a woman is very extraordinary. Yeah. The fact that it's actually been over two decades is even more extraordinary. The fact that over those two decades, this business has brought in over 8 figures, in pounds, in revenue is even more extraordinary. Which is
Kate Northrup:like for those of my, you know, US based listeners, just like multiply that by 1.5. Yeah. And then you can that's like, this is a shit ton of money.
Suzy Ashworth:Yeah. Yeah. And then to do that, and then to add the color of my skin into the mix as well, and then if we wanna like add the wellness personal development industry, which is, you know, very white. Yeah. It's like, what I have allowed, it does blow my like when I look at it like that, I'm like, oh my goodness.
Suzy Ashworth:Yeah. And so much of that has come from a decision to allow myself a seat at the table. And often, at the in the beginning, I was waiting. I was what hi. And then it was like
Kate Northrup:Like waiting to be asked Yeah. Waiting to be given permission. Yeah. When do you remember when you made that decision, I am worthy, and realized like, oh, it's actually just a decision?
Suzy Ashworth:Yeah. It was when I put on my first live event. When was that? So that was, I think it was 2016 or '17. Okay.
Suzy Ashworth:And it was called Limitless You Live. And I, at that point, had known that I was a good speaker, and my friends were putting on events. Mel Wells, our mutual friend had put on an event at that point, and I just was really like, I wanna be speaking on stages. Again, I'm like, hi, I think I'd be quite good at this, and everybody was just ignoring me, and I
Speaker 4:just thought, fuck this shit.
Suzy Ashworth:I'm gonna put on my own event. And I did, and I was like, oh, I found my happy place. Wow. So it's interesting you say, you know, if I look at the evolution of the types of clothes that I would wear on stage, and how I would show up on stage, all of that has just got bigger and brighter
Speaker 3:Yes.
Suzy Ashworth:And more in your face
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Suzy Ashworth:Than, you know
Kate Northrup:It's deeply I find it deeply inspiring. I just like keep going. More please.
Speaker 3:More, please.
Speaker 4:When
Kate Northrup:you work with women business owners Yeah. You work with primarily women. Right? Yeah. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:And, you know, and I and I imagine this is is is part of the groundwork of your coaching model and your certification. And it's the coaching model is called
Suzy Ashworth:The quantum transformation method. Okay. Great.
Speaker 3:The quantum transformation method. Okay.
Kate Northrup:You know, I know that we've been threading some of it throughout this conversation, but I'd love to know what are some of those fundamentals that you support people in knowing not only for their own life, because I would imagine part of your certification is the personal. Right? Like, we can't be out here trying to do this work on other people without doing it on ourselves. Right? And then also, equips equips people to do it with other people.
Kate Northrup:So where where does that work begin, especially when it comes to wanting to go bigger Yeah. With receiving more money? Because, you know, that's what my show is about.
Suzy Ashworth:The money, honey. Plenty. So what's interesting or maybe wildly obvious, I don't know, but the four foundational pillars for me is the four four foundational pillars of infinite receiving. So it's knowing your greatness, it's love, it's support, and it's co creation. And when anybody says to me, I have a problem with doubling my income or changing my relationship or whatever it is, I know based on what it is that they are telling me that it's one or or more of those four pillars.
Suzy Ashworth:That's the root of everything. Any problem that you have will be you don't know who the fuck you are. You've forgotten who you are, like, knowing your greatness. You need to be more open, more vulnerable. You have to be willing to go all in, but you are afraid of hurting your heart.
Suzy Ashworth:You need to ask for more support. You have to be willing to ask, and you have to remember that you're a magical being and you're co creating at all points.
Kate Northrup:Right. You're not alone.
Suzy Ashworth:You're not you're not alone. And so that's the they're the four foundation of the it, doesn't it? It doesn't matter what problem that you have. But what's interesting about the coaching method is that we we might not necessarily even say that as the coach to the person Right. But you know.
Suzy Ashworth:It's the internal infrastructure Yeah.
Kate Northrup:That you're sifting and sorting.
Suzy Ashworth:Exactly. Yeah. Great. And so from that point, it's really about the say, somebody has a goal. You have to be aware of where you are starting.
Suzy Ashworth:So if I wanna make £10,000 a month, and currently, I'm sitting around two or three thousand, We have to look at what are the stories that you're telling yourself around what it means to be making £10,000 a month. You know and I know that consciously, like, we get it, you know? It's just asking for the sale or putting out the content. But we know that underneath that, if somebody's not doing the things that they know that they need to do in order to get the result that they want to, it's because they feel unsafe.
Kate Northrup:Right.
Suzy Ashworth:It's the nervous system work. And so what we do is through our kind of alchemy phase is we work out where does a person need support? Is it neurological? Is it energetic? Is it somatic?
Suzy Ashworth:Often people start with a neurological and when it's not a deep problem, yeah, reframing and talking to somebody can be super super helpful. But when you're two steps forward, three steps back, two steps forward, three steps back, this is when probably we've got the stories in the body or in the energetic field and you know, our people have a plethora of tools to help them alchemize those stories and create new space for new stories to be created.
Kate Northrup:Do you still work with hypnotherapy in in that? Is it threaded throughout? Yes. So cool. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:The for anyone who's not familiar, I did a great episode with Grace Smith, so we'll just link it in the show notes that gets into some of the my, you know, my science brain about all the profound data around hypnotherapy. So, okay, great. I love that that's threaded throughout there.
Suzy Ashworth:And
Kate Northrup:and and for someone who might be maybe they've they've never done a certification or they have, but they're wanting to add in. Like, who would be the perfect person to go through this quantum transformation.
Suzy Ashworth:The quantum transformation method. So for me, it's about people who, for themselves, desire to create a massive impact in the world. Quantum transformation quite simply means massive change in a condensed period of time. So you have to have the desire to want to make a big impact and then support people in making big impacts for themselves. And whether that is at a family level or a global level, it doesn't really matter.
Suzy Ashworth:But everything that I teach, I pretty much in everything that I say is that you have to be your own best client. So all of the coaching that you are receiving, even if you were to never work with a paying client in your life, you are going to change your life. Mhmm. Like. And change the world as a result.
Suzy Ashworth:And change the world as a result because all change starts with one person, and that one person has to be you.
Kate Northrup:You've spoken so beautifully today and vulnerably about the edges that you're still working on, and I'd love to know what is something you're holding in your heart right now that you're desiring or tinkering with or just excited about. You know, we're recording this episode ahead of time. Yeah. And so I'd love to kind of plant a seed of prayer around this for you, with you.
Suzy Ashworth:Yeah. So I know that I am going to have another great love story. Now, a love story of all ages. And so that's really the place where I am trying to notice where my blind spots are, you know, around the big thing is is that you can never manifest from a place of lack. Because if you're looking for what you don't have, you will find what it is that you don't have.
Kate Northrup:You will.
Suzy Ashworth:And so it's that real dance of how in love with myself and with my life can I be? And like as a principal, that's so amazing. And there were so many times and moments where I'm just like, fucking hell. Look at your life. It's amazing.
Suzy Ashworth:And then conversely, I have three kids. I'm a single mom. I'm bringing up teenagers. So I I'm presented with if if I lived in a cave on my own and had no, like, external influence from anybody, you were to say, how are you doing? And I'd be like, I am the best I've ever been.
Suzy Ashworth:The reality is is that I live in the real world. Yeah. And so when I'm presented with certain things, it's very easy for me to not be in
Speaker 3:love. Yes.
Suzy Ashworth:With those those elements of my life. And if I'm being if I'm having a day where I'm hard on myself, it's easy for me to not be in love with myself. So that's the dance that I am playing and living. And I and I really want everybody who's listening to this, like around the money piece, because that's the most that's the most challenging thing. You know, sex and money always go hand in hand together.
Suzy Ashworth:And when you are not in an abundant place financially, when somebody says, think abundant thoughts, it's like
Speaker 4:Yeah. You
Suzy Ashworth:know, it's
Speaker 3:You think abundant thoughts.
Suzy Ashworth:It's it can be really challenging when it's not there, and you want it to be there. And that's the art and the mastery.
Kate Northrup:It really is.
Suzy Ashworth:It's not easy, but we have, you know, I I was that woman who was like, I just want to be receiving £5,000 a month. And I was the woman who walked around the park being like,
Speaker 4:I receive £5,000 a month.
Suzy Ashworth:I was also the woman who was like, and I have a Sunday Times bestselling book. I was also the woman who said, when I write, people read. When I speak, people listen. I I programmed my body to believe that before it had happened. How you do it with money is the same way that I will do it in relationship, and our biggest challenge is remembering those things that activate the knowing that, of course, we are a match for all of our desires, and it's easy to forget.
Suzy Ashworth:And so conversations like this, podcasts, books, just immerse yourself in the things and the people that remind you, of course, you are a magical human being that was, of course, destined for all of your desires. You wouldn't be given those desires if they weren't for you. And so this is the practice, and I would say that, yeah, for all of the single moms out there, like shout out because it is challenging to keep coming back, but that is that's what we have to do. Amen. Mhmm.
Suzy Ashworth:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:Thank you, Suzy Ashworth. This was so good. Okay. Where would you like to invite people to come find you Mhmm. And dig deeper?
Suzy Ashworth:Yeah. So I hang out on Suzy, s u z y underscore Ashworth on Instagram and suzyashworth.com, and you can get infinite receiving for free if you just pay the postage and packaging. If you go to susieashworth.com/bookfour,for, free. There
Kate Northrup:you go. Wow.
Suzy Ashworth:For me. Allow yourself to Amazing.
Kate Northrup:The book is phenomenal. Yeah. So go okay. Great. Go do that.
Kate Northrup:We'll put everything in the show notes. I appreciate you so much.
Suzy Ashworth:I love you.
Kate Northrup:This was delightful. I love you too. If this episode sparks something for you, don't leave it as just an insight. The recalibration field guide is where you turn what you heard into movement. Inside, you'll map your current money ecosystem state, audit what's supporting you and what's leaking, and identify the next upgrade that will actually change how money moves in your life.
Kate Northrup:The listeners who download it and use it are the very same ones who will come back and tell me that everything shifted. You can download it for free at katenorthrup.com/fieldguide, and the link is also in the show notes. I'll see you in the next episode.