Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
In this shiur, Rav Dov Ber Cohen maps out the inner architecture of a human being — neshama, ruach, and body — and asks the essential question: who is actually in charge? He teaches that the body is n
The Rabbi Dov Ber Cohen Podcast explores Jewish mindfulness, emotional mastery, relationships, and real inner avodah.
In each shiur, Rabbi Dov Ber shares practical Torah wisdom for navigating anxiety, deepening connection, strengthening emunah, and living with greater presence and purpose.
Rooted in Chassidic depth yet grounded in everyday life, these teachings are experiential, honest, and transformative.
If you’re seeking clarity without pressure, growth without guilt, and spirituality that actually changes how you live - this podcast is for you.
But it's really to reach your ultimate spiritual potential. To reach your ultimate spiritual potential. That's the purpose of life. To become the greatest spiritually conscious being you can become. And we said that's expressed through three main things. That's your thought, speech, and action. Thought, speech, and action. Am I thinking, speaking, and acting how a soul would think, speak, and act if it was put into a body? And we said a major part of that is really going beyond yourself. And getting to true Jewish enlightenment and spirituality is where I'm not living for myself anymore. I'm living for a higher purpose. I've invested in myself so much that I don't need to overly think about myself anymore. And I can positively impact the world around me, make the world a better place. But that doesn't mean I ever stop investing in myself. You have to do your own meditation every day. You have to do your own exercise every day. You've got to go to the mikveh every day. You've got to learn every day. You've got to pray every day. You've got to do your thing every day. So you're never going to stop investing in yourself. But when you're doing all of those things to invest in your own peace of mind and your own greatness, your real intention is because the greater I am, the more I can help other people. That's why I want to be great so I can help other people. And that's where true greatness comes from. So now we're going to have to understand how we're going to do this. How are we going to play this? How are we going to play this game? You're in this world. You're running the gauntlet. And we're playing the game of manifest soul in the world. So there are five paths to doing that. And here's how I want to start thinking about it. When you say, I let myself down. I'm not going to do this whole class again. I feel we've done it a few times. When you say, I let myself down. Who let who down? How many of you are there? Who's the real you? Who's the I and who's the self? I let myself down. So in this sentence of I and myself, which one's good? Which one's ideal? Which one's perfect? The I or the myself? I let myself down. Exactly. So there's a myself that is perfect and pure and good and holy. And then there's the I that let it down. So Jewish wisdom teaches that the self is the soul, is the neshama. And the I is called the ruach, and that's the thought, speech, and action. So when you say, I let myself down, my thought, speech, and action let myself down. They were given me, I was given these three powers to express my soul in the world. But my I, that's the ruach, thought, speech, and action let myself down. Then there's another level which isn't the I or the self. It's just called the body. Now what is the body? What part of you is the body? There's two parts of you, two main parts of you. The soul, the neshama, which is the essential perfect you. Then the ruach, which is the thought, speech, and action part of you, which could either be used for the good or not for the bad, depends how you think, speech, and action. Then you've got the body. What part of you is the body? So the answer is not at all. There's no part of you at all. It's your vehicle. That's all it is. It's a car. It's the spacesuit that you're using to be in this world. There's no such thing as thought, speech, and action if you don't have a body. But the body isn't you. It's just not you. It's a mammal. It's an animal. It's a machine. And it's going to get older and older and older, just like a car gets older and older and it gets rusty and then eventually a car breaks down and dies. And so an animal gets older and older and then eventually breaks down and dies. So the body is not part of you at all. The body is literally your vehicle to be in this world. However, Judaism says the better and stronger the vehicle, the more good you can do in the world. So we also machshiv the guf. How do you say machshiv? Make it important. We say the guf, the body, is very, very important. Don't say, well, the body is not me. It's just a vehicle, so I'll neglect it. God forbid. Because the stronger your vehicle, the more good you can do in the world, the more energy you have, the less sleep you need. So the body, in one way, is so animalistic, it's pulling you away from your soul. But in another way, if you can learn to train it, then it's serving your soul. So that's what you've got to try and do. So I think in the last class, I likened it to a horse. A horse? Is a horse good or bad for you? Depends. If the horse is in control, it's bad for you. The horse is just going to go and run all over the place and get into trouble and throw you off. But if you learn to tame the horse and control the horse, the horse is great for you. You could do a lot more. You can get very far, very fast. You can fight the battles. So your body is your horse. You're the rider of the horse. Who's in control? You better start taking the reins. Start taking the reins, be in control of the horse. That's it. So this is how we say it. We say it like this. You have these three parts of you. The body nefesh, which is the animal with the horse. Then the ruach, which is your thought, speech, and action. It's really your conscious psyche. And then you've got your neshama, which is your soul. And we look at it like this. The body has a voice. And the soul has a voice. The nefesh and the neshama have voices called the etzer tov and the etzer harah. The voice of the soul called the etzer tov is just pushing you towards greatness. It's pushing you towards spirituality. Pushing you towards holiness, to happiness, to kindness, to love, to joy, to accomplishment, to everything good. And then you've got the animalistic voice of the body, which is pushing you away. That's called the etzer harah. We said the purpose of the etzer harah is two things. Number one, to make you feel bad and sad. All your negative critical voice in your head. What's wrong with me? I'm such an idiot. Why did I do that? And also it's to stop you doing good. So firstly, it entices you into doing bad stuff. Just watch that. It doesn't matter. Smoke that. It doesn't matter. And then it blocks you doing the good stuff. You don't have to get out of bed early. You don't have to do that. That's the etzer harah. So this is how I like to see it. The body ego has a voice. It's like a speaker. And the soul has a voice. It's also like a speaker. But for most people, the voice of the soul is very quiet. It's like soft classical music. But the voice of the body ego is very loud. I'm hungry. I need respect. I get upset if people upset me. So what we're trying to do, we said this is how we finished the last class, you want to turn down the volume of the body ego animalistic drive while still keeping your body strong. And you want to turn up the volume of your soul. That's all. So now we're talking about the five ways to do that. The first way is called prishut. We've got to understand this concept very well. Prishut. Prishut means self-control in a way. It means self-control. But I'm going to broaden the definition. It's to stop identifying as the body ego. You get your identity based on your body and your ego. We said there are three main things. What you look like. So that's how good looking you are, your face and your body. You get your sense of self based on what you look like. What you have. That's your possessions, really, how rich you are. And what you do. And there are two parts of what you do. One is your job. And the other one is just what you're good at. I'm very good at tennis. I'm a businessman. So you're getting your identity from these things. Looks, possessions and what I do. And when you do that, you're just feeding the voice of your body ego. You're making that voice very, very, very strong. So it says in Pirkei Avot, I think it's Avot Fathers, Which means jealousy, physical craving and honor seeking cut you off from spirituality. Yes. Can you define honor seeking? Honor seeking is I want people to look up to me. I get upset if people insult me. I feel good if people praise me. I want honor. I want people to look up to me. I think I'm great. And you can just put it under arrogance as well. Just arrogance. I'm better than you. I'm putting other people down. You're getting a sense of self based on I'm better than you. And I want you to know that, by the way. I want you to know. Everyone needs to know that I'm better than you. So obviously they take you out of the world just because they cause anxiety and aggression. Forget the soul. People who are seeking honor and who are jealous of other people and are physical craving, feeding their physical cravings. They're just not actually peaceful people. Because jealousy cannot have peace of mind. I just don't have peace of mind. You've got a better
If you get a million followers, someone's got 3 million. And then you start comparing yourself, you'll never be happy. So I was like, I'm just not doing it. I can't go there. I'm just not doing it. But you should be on social media because you can change the world. You're not going to affect the world now. The Russian Shiver said to me, you have to be as famous as you can because the more famous you are, the more people will hear your message about living a good life in Hashem. Just deal with your ego. I said, I don't want to be famous. I've got a big ego. He goes, deal with your ego. Just do it. You've got to get the balance. So once again, the Jewish balance. Politics. If you're not going to be a politician, stop talking about politics. Why are you complaining? You're sitting around complaining. Either do something or shut up, I think. And then you've got Republicans and what do you have? Democrats? And they hate each other. People's families split up over politics. They're just arguing about it anyway. It's like, why? I tell you, Columbia. It's happened twice, I believe. Someone in the World Cup, a Colombian player scored an own goal and he was killed. When he got back to Columbia, they killed him. And someone missed a penalty, they killed him. So dude, I'm being serious. It's a bit weird. So sports, politics, fashion, social media. The more you actually care about that stuff, the more you're feeding your Yetzirah, the more you're feeding your physicality, the more you're feeding, you're just feeding, it gets louder and you get sucked in. So once again, the Jewish balance. Yes, social media. Yes, money. Yes, fashion. You can wear nice clothes or whatever, but just don't think about it so much. Food. Think about food the whole time. I'm a foodie. Really? I'm a foodie. I know the best restaurants and the best wine. It's like, why are you a foodie? Just eat your food and shut up. I'm being serious. Food is meant to be. What's the purpose of food? To make you strong and healthy, to live a spiritual life. That's what food is for. So why are you a foodie? Why? Even the idea of a restaurant. Not particularly Jewish. I'm just going to go and sit for three hours wallowing in a thing and then you've got to go to the bathroom. What was the point? The only purpose of a kosher restaurant is to take your wife out for her birthday. But people say, what do you mean it's a nice social thing with your friends? They're going to have some beers. You don't need to sit eating nice food. So if you go to a restaurant, this is a whole separate point. You have to have self-control when it comes to food. You have to have self-control when it comes to food. Once you've eaten enough food, you don't need to have more just because it was tasty. Well, the schnitzel is so good I'm going to have another. Why? It's actually not even healthy for you. And you're like, protein, Rabbi. Gains. Like, dude. Maybe if you're getting some gains with your protein. But you don't need that chocolate cake afterwards. You're eating a lot of food that you don't need to eat. Now, there's a few problems with that. But the major problem with that is you're feeding your animalistic nature. You're feeding your... You're just becoming an animal. More food. That's why all you can eat. Restaurant is the most ridiculous, the most anti-spiritual thing you could ever do. An all-you-can-eat restaurant. Why would you do that? It's a great thing to do. So my Rebbe says, what you should do is, if you've got a choice of dishes, you like them both. Now, sometimes at Eish you have meat and chicken. And you like them both. They're both okay. But you like meat 9 out of 10 and chicken 7 out of 10. Have the chicken. You're just showing, I'm not going to go with my desire. It's a little bit. If it's meat is 9 out of 10 and chicken is 1 out of 10, then whatever. That's too big for you guys. But I still think you should do that, personally. If you do go to a restaurant, for example, choose what you want most and then don't have it. Why? Self-control. Now, in terms of the restaurant, self-control is not that important. But you're training the self-control muscle for when a thought of a woman who's not your wife comes into your mind. Then it's important to have self-control. So you're training with the easy stuff, like the chicken or the meat. I'm not saying that it's actually meaningful to have the chicken or the meat. But overcoming your desire. I want the meat more. Okay, so therefore I'm going to have the chicken. Then you need self-control. Very, very important. Your biggest self-control is going to be your mind. So if you can't control your mind, then you're that. So train with your body, which is easy. Cold mikveh or cold shower. Have a warm shower. Last minute, cold. Freezing. Why? Because you don't want that. You don't want that. I go to the cold mikveh every morning. Every single morning I stand there and I'm like, I do not want to go in here. I just don't want this. And I overcome that because I think my soul does want it. Because it's good for your body. Cold water is actually very good for you. So to overcome your initial desire is very powerful. That's what pre-shoot is. I'm now not controlled by my desire. I really feel like sitting down now. I'm going to stand up for one more minute. Why? Does that matter in the moment? No, but you're training. Pre-shoot, pre-shoot, self-control. Don't eat everything you want to eat. Don't look at everything you want to look at. Even your phone, sometimes, once a day, when you're about to reach for your phone, pull your hand back. How many times do you actually literally look at your phone a day? 175. 175 in general. So imagine, I think it's probably more. So imagine it was 174. So that one time you pull your hand away, in and of itself it's not meaningful, but it is meaningful. You've now said, I'm not just a robot. Phone, phone, pull it away and then speak to God. Use that to talk to God. Say, Hashem, thank you. Any little moment of self-control. You're about to say something not nice and you stop yourself. We spoke about this last week. Self-control gives you self-respect. Self-control makes you start doing the right thing. So I'm saying start in easy, not so important areas. Like that. I'm not going to have the extra schnitzel because I don't need it. You eat what you need to eat and then if there's a little bit, if you're still hungry after 20 minutes, you have a carrot. Start not being an animal. Start not being... Animals just do what they want to do. However they feel. I'm going to do it. You've got to overcome that. Very important. Very important. And once again, I'm going to say it. I know I've said this a thousand times. And then you can also still have the nice food and the nice house. I'm saying you can still have it, but not if you crave it. If you're craving chocolate cake, you should not have it. Don't have anything that you're craving because you're feeding that. But once you don't care if you have chocolate cake or not, then you can have it. Have it. Why not? So I just enjoyed it a bit, but it's not because I needed it. Not because I'm craving it. And then the Shabbat. Shabbat is separate. Shabbat you should have. I don't eat meat during the week. I don't have mayonnaise during the week. I don't have chocolate. I don't have anything I like that much. Well, I enjoy my food because I just want to eat what's very, very healthy for me. It tastes nice. And then on Shabbat, I have nice things. I eat meat with mayonnaise. I love mayonnaise. I'm such a mayonnaise. Because I don't want to be controlled by my body. And then the final one is important. In general, and this is now we're really speaking about true spirituality. When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror? This morning? This morning? Everyone? You looked at yourself in the mirror this morning? Yeah? Okay. You didn't. You've never looked at yourself in the mirror. You've looked at your face and your body in the mirror, but you're a soul. You cannot see souls in the mirror. So you've never looked at yourself in the mirror. Now that's not just a funny little idea. The way you stop identifying as a body is stop identifying as a body. So for example, have you ever said this? I'm really tired. Do souls get tired? Souls do not get tired. Bodies get tired. So what you should say is, my body is really tired. Now I don't think you should say this out loud because people think you're a bit weird. But it's true. It's true. You should say, my body is really tired now. I'm going to go to sleep. Have you ever said I'm really hungry? Did you mean that you wanted to learn Mishnayis? No. You meant you wanted to stuff your face with something. Basically, when you use the word I, what are you referring to? Your body. No, you're not. You're referring to your body. You say, you should be referring to yourself. That's what