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Finding life after loss, Two Dancing Widows dives into the stories of resilience, hope, and transformation. Hosts Toni and Hettie welcome new guests each week, from widowers and life coaches to those battling severe illness, who share their journeys through struggle and their paths back to joy. This podcast is for anyone navigating grief or simply looking for inspiration to live and love deeply again. Tune in for heartfelt conversations that remind us all that healing, while challenging, is a dance worth stepping into.
Coming up on this episode of Two Dancing Widows.
Where do the songs come from?
Um, okay.
Interesting you should ask.
Um, they come from my life.
You know, you said something about, you know,
I should have been doing this 20 years ago.
Yes.
20 years ago.
I don't know what I'd be right about.
Okay.
Okay, because there's some things that were, well, yeah, 20 years ago,
there would have been something familiar right about.
Um, that there have been people who've been asking me,
oh, should have done this instead of the speech.
You know, you should have been doing it way back then.
Back then, I would not have had anything to write about.
Welcome to Two Dancing Widows.
The podcast where hosts Tony and Heddy explore life after loss
and the strength we find in each other's stories.
Before we step into today's conversation,
make sure you stay connected with everything happening at Two Dancing Widows.
Visit TwoGancingWidows.transistor.fm to hear every episode,
catch up on past conversations, and find links to the show's Facebook page.
You can also listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Amazon Music.
Give us a listen, share the show, and send this episode to someone
who may need a little encouragement today.
In this episode, Tony and Heddy welcome Brenda for a heartfelt
and inspiring conversation called New Attitude.
After spending decades helping others find their voices through her work
as a speech therapist, Brenda shares how retirement opened the door
to something unexpected, claiming her own voice as a singer,
some writer, and creative spirit.
This episode is a beautiful reminder that it is never too late to grow,
reinvent yourself, and step boldly into a new chapter.
Brenda talks about passion, purpose, the work behind the joy,
and how life experience can become the very thing that gives your guests their power.
So settle in and join Tony and Heddy for a warm, uplifting conversation
about courage, creativity, and embracing a brand new attitude.
In the twilight glow, where memories blend,
two souls reminisce on life's winding been.
With laughter entails from a time so bold they share the stories yet untold.
Hello listeners, we are back again.
We are the two dancing widows, and it's Heddy Collins and Antonette Noel
who likes to be called Tony.
And once again, we have a guest for you today,
and this is someone that we both love and adore for so many various reasons.
But the one reason that we have her here today is to talk about her life.
And we're calling this our podcast called New Attitude,
because if you listen to Patty and she tells you in her soulful words,
I'm filming good for my head to my toes, new dress, new hat, new shoes.
And she sings about new ideas and clearly states,
I got a new attitude.
And I think that's what it takes when one goes about creating or recreating themselves
in a new form and doing something different from that which they have done so much of their life.
In fact, I think for 40 years of her life, she was a speech therapist.
And all of a sudden she retired and decided to do something different.
So I'm going to toss this over to Tony who's going to take us into the interview.
Thank you, Brenda, for being here today.
And I needed Patty to introduce the Patty piece because she's sassy like that.
But that new attitude, we laughed when we thought about that because that is you.
And we're so proud of you.
I mean, I am really inspired by you.
We've known each other for a lot of years.
And for years you helped show.
No, we're proud of that.
We're proud of that.
We know children and others find their voice through your work and speech pathology, speech therapist.
What inspired you to claim your own voice if you will be a singer and songwriter now after retirement?
Oh my goodness.
You know, after I retired, I didn't know that I was going to be doing this.
I was preparing to do something different.
You know, I had started an LLC and I needed to get here to do with with image and etiquette and all that stuff.
You even went through and got all of the certification in those areas, didn't you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was serious about that.
I thought that that's what I was.
That was the area that I was going to be moving in.
But we're something that had to do with that.
But after I retired, I guess I just.
Okay, I said that I didn't want to do that.
What's the question?
I don't know.
What's the bad story?
What's the bad story?
Oh, that's bad.
Okay.
Well, I had always loved music.
And, you know, I had taken piano lessons from the time that I was seven until I was a junior in high school.
Because it just wasn't cool, you know.
Yes, right.
I was playing classical music and, you know, but I still loved music.
So that was kind of like in the background.
And then I ran into someone or, you know, say, ran it.
Okay.
It was somebody that I had known for a long time.
But we had graduated from college.
And he was singing down in Vegas.
And, you know, I would go to some of the oldie shows with him.
And I would say, wow, you know, I could do that.
You know, I could do some background singing.
And then they sent me and told me, well, in order for you to become a background singer,
they have to hear what you sound like.
So I said, well, we could forget that.
And then they said, well, you know, they just have to hear you're a little bit of what you sound like.
I just decided to give it up, you know, again.
Because that's the moment that you decided that it's not too late for me.
I can do this.
Because so many seniors have dreams, things they've always wanted to do.
And yet they feel when they think about it, it always comes out with, yeah,
but I should have done that 20 years ago.
It's too late for me now.
Oh, okay.
Well, you...
I don't know when that part happened, but I do know that before I started singing,
I was writing music.
That's the other thing that I used to always like to do.
I used to always like to write.
So I was too cheap on this to find somebody to sing my music.
And the person that was...
I forgot to mention that I had started back taking piano lessons.
The person that was...
That was giving me the piano lessons.
I didn't know that he was also a songwriter and a ranger.
And had arranged music for...
for Rita Franklin and had gotten actually a Grammy nomination for that.
And also he had worked with other people and toured with Lisa Lucid Hulking.
And so in a way, I started writing music.
And then from there, I started singing by music that I have written.
And that was not a...
I was a messy process right there.
What you mean by messy?
Well, I had never had any lessons, you know, any single lessons or anything.
And, you know, he would just say,
Oh, I forgot to mention, he was producing the music that I had written.
And he would ask me,
Can you do this?
And I would try and maybe work.
And can you do this?
I don't know.
So we went through about like maybe two years of that.
And like I said, I had never had any lessons before.
So he would ask...
So he would just kind of describe things.
And there was a part of my voice that would come out.
And to me, it sounded ugly.
And he would say, OK, when you get to this part right here, there's a ugly voice.
I said, OK, you know, so we just kind of did that for a while.
And then next thing I knew, you know, I had boxes of CDs.
They ever come into me because it just seemed like it made sense.
You know, I'm writing this music.
So what am I going to do with it? OK.
So I could get a, you know, like what's it on a evening?
What's it on a evening?
You about Brenda doing this whole process.
Ooh, OK.
But, please surprise me.
Was that I liked it?
Oh, Lord.
Like I said, coming green.
I took my time.
New hat, new shoes, new attitude.
You know, being on stage, I just feel...
I don't know.
But you're not Brenda on stage.
No.
You're Brenda.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You have an alter personality.
I kind of think I do.
I remember the first time you...
We listened to your CD.
Was my granddaughter and I.
I didn't get gone shopping for your mom or store something.
I came back to her driveway and you said,
no, we're not going in.
Right now, I got something for you to listen to.
It was kind of like a spy mission or something.
So she gave me the CD and we put it in and you were like,
just tell me, honestly, tell me what you think.
And we listened to Maddie and I.
We loved it.
And you were like, are you sure?
Are you sure that you can just tell me, but it was great.
And I was just so inspired by the fact that it was a completed mission.
And that was inspiring to me.
That someone stepped out of their comfort zone.
That was my age.
I was able to make themselves happy and joyful and do something like that.
And take it from beginning, like you said, it wasn't overnight.
You worked two years with this man and to pretty much stop working with him.
Right.
And then tell us about that.
How many hours a day do you actually put into it?
I've been on vacation with you where you worked all morning while we were sleeping.
And then you were ready to go out after that.
So how many hours a day do you put in?
All of the hours that I'm not spending making appointments for my mom.
And connecting with caregivers, in other words, all of the time that I'm not devoting to taking care of my mom.
I'm doing something that has to do with music.
So that's your joy.
And well, not all of it.
The performing part, you know, that's the joy.
But then there are such as writers.
I mean, you're writing skills.
Thank you.
But it's hard to work, right?
It's what it is.
It's it's it is work.
It is work.
But the part that is the most tedious for me and most challenging has to do with technology.
Oh, we understand that.
We did not go up in the age of three.
I'm second.
I want to do it.
I knew that you had something going on there when I sort of was slipped a disk or CD the same way you were Tony.
We sat in the car and we listened to it.
And I liked it.
But yeah.
But when we got home and he wanted to hear it.
Well, I'm going to say stereo or steraphonic.
I don't know what he had to call it today.
But he wanted to hear it through all the speakers.
He wanted to hear the full sound.
And we played the soldier story.
What's the name of that one?
The one you wrote?
Heroes.
Heroes.
Welcome.
Oh, my God.
You know, that's still my very, very, very favorite one.
I don't even know why.
I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I think it's because I
think it's because it's because it's because it's because wasn't really. It's tough, but, but my time also was OSC, but my time also was mon botox.
Don't always teach.
Don't call out to me inогоcauuu��u喔牽牽牽牽…
He doesn't use any of these written words, but his helping doesn't do anything wrong.
But my mom called back a while ago and everyone at this events went to what other people were saying, and there were others, we saw you.
I don't understand.
People don't understand what you said when you knew him and everyone else was saying, we saw you on my screen.
They come from my life.
You know, you said something about,
or I should have been doing this 20 years ago.
20 years ago, I don't know what I'd be right about.
Okay.
Okay, cause there's some things that,
or well, yeah, 20 years ago,
there would have been something familiar right about.
But there have been people who've asked me,
you should have done this instead of the speech.
You know, you should have been doing it way back then,
back then, I would not have had anything to write about.
You know, from experience.
From life.
From experience in life.
From memories.
From memories.
And, you know, even when I'm,
even when I'm writing a song with someone else in mind,
it has to do with those memories.
Like, like, um, you know, with Jimmy's song.
Yes, yes.
Yeah.
After, tell him a little bit about that being at the funeral.
This is Tony's, this is Tony's Jimmy.
Yes.
Yeah.
Well, um, that's my favorite.
What was the most?
Yeah.
I have to say that it was the most uplifting funeral that I had been to.
Um, you know, it was everything about it was different.
Um, even the, even the calling hours were different.
And the fact that the, um,
the fact that the, that I've never been to a pre-pass before.
There was a pre-pass instead of the, the repass.
And, um, you know, we were allowed to bring our, you know, our, our smacks and our
coffee and to, to the service.
And, you know, and Jimmy was, Jimmy was there.
And it was, you know, there were no tears or anything.
Um, everybody, but he was, he was there, but it was like,
he was, he was another guest.
Yes.
Yes.
And, um, I don't know if I told you this before, but, um,
and I, you know, I don't want to offend anybody, but,
he was the best looking one there.
You know, he actually was in my naked,
that had to be, uh, said to me all about her.
She's the best looking man in my, when I was,
yes.
That's, you know, he's like these,
such a beast.
Yeah.
But, um, but, but the, but the things that, um, the things that, uh,
the people spoke, yes, it was honor.
Um, everything was, everything was, was just wonderful and uplifting.
And, um, the youth spoke, um, you, you shared some things that I didn't even
know about, like, like the fact that, um, even though he took you,
I didn't take, I didn't take you to take him to show.
It's, it wasn't bad, but, you know, but, but everything was, um,
everything about it was, um, I don't know.
It was, it was very moving and I just wanted to, I don't know.
I love it.
I, that is my song.
Well, she does the songs.
I mean, and that takes a lot of how I'm absolutely,
and as you said, I can, I can picture that when you have a feeling about
something and you feel strongly and it's, you know, to buy that, you can
then go back and write about that song, which is perfect.
It is.
It is a beautiful song.
But that, but that was the first time, maybe the only time that I tried to
write something from somebody else's experience, experience.
Okay.
Yes.
And, um, yeah.
Well, I thank you.
I'm glad that you're showing us.
Thank you.
Okay.
So, um, all the, the, the people, I won't say women, people, men and
women out there who are longing to do something to reach that, that
something that they always wanted to do, but are feeling discouraged
because of their age.
Well, like my good friend, um, Juanita, um, used to tell me,
all the time,
it ain't like you got our day, honey.
I love that.
I love that.
It hurt to make a max.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I like you got all day, honey.
T-shirt, because it's out.
You tell me, we need to let to me a know because I should make T-shirts.
I'm, you said,
I want to, I don't know, like you got all day, honey.
Yeah.
That's what seriously, um, if somebody asked me, um, okay, let's go back to
those 20 years.
If somebody asked me 20 years ago, if I would be doing what it is that I'm
doing now, and I get it, um, I would tell them, you got to be kidding.
Right.
You do.
You don't know me, you know, because I, I don't know.
Um, well, you know me, yes, you know, I've always been, um,
introverted, reserved, reserved,
a little hesitant on stepping out there.
And now when I see you on stage, girl, you sound good, but you are beautiful.
I mean, from the, from the outfits to the hair to the length of the
stages, and you tell my how she used to be.
She is still like that.
I'm telling you, she's two different people.
I had to tell her this morning.
She's like, I don't know if I can do, I mean,
I'm not interesting.
I'm like, what are the most interesting person I know?
And then I have to convince her of this because she's so humble, you know,
and so kind and just she's still that sweet little girl.
I used to like to pick on and call her with the big hand itself and all that
stuff and snatch toys from her.
And she's probably was still let me snatch it away from her.
Then she go write a song about how terrible I was.
It's like that.
But I don't know.
I don't even know if this is the time to.
Yes, it is.
This is your time.
It's up to you.
It's up to you.
You know, when I'm on stage, it's like I've kind of gone back to the person I was
before somebody told me how the world told you, ladies, ladies don't do this.
There is a blessed, blessed is so.
I was told he's no longer with us, but there was a, there was a, a little boy that was in my class.
He was kind of me, you know, and just named us Walter.
He was, I would say he was probably the minus boy in our class.
And now not in first grade, right?
And back then we couldn't wear, we couldn't wear pants.
Right.
So every little girl had to wear a dress.
I dress.
OK, you can get rid of this if, you know, I'm telling you it's working.
You can get rid of this if you want.
OK, all right.
I have real stories here.
Yeah.
Well, my dress accidentally went up.
I don't know if I was bending over or what, you know, and you could see my, my,
and, or he could see, but you know, very quickly.
And he went like that.
Yeah, I did something wrong.
And I looked at him and I did like that.
You put your dress on and let him if you want to look, he was a real look.
And just, he's kind of flustered as you know about that.
Wait a minute.
OK.
Because she's in it too.
Uh-oh.
OK.
So then he looked at me.
He said, and I did this.
And I just, I just, I just, I just stepped in.
I don't know.
I grew up in that dresser up.
I did that.
And then the teacher caught me.
Uh-oh.
The teacher caught me.
Then my mom came to pick me up and she told, she told my mom what I did.
And my mom, she never said anything, but she looked at me like, she, she just gave me that
look.
You know, and I knew it.
I knew what it meant.
You know, like, OK.
And that's funny.
How when we grew up, my parents could just look at us.
They give us that, that, that I and we knew these kids today, they have no idea how terrified
we would be with just getting that look.
And I, I never did it again.
And I never, I never did it again.
And so you're connecting to that to being on stage.
When I'm on stage.
And the audience, you know, starts to respond or whatever.
I tried to give them more.
So you throw your dress up at ease.
And I thought, you're just like that, but you just say, that's what you just said.
You know, dress up at ease.
That is the one.
That's the one.
That's the one.
I just said, that the teacher, the teacher, I should try to do more.
I tried to give them more.
I like that.
No, I'm not flat.
I'm not flat.
I'm not flat.
I'm still like that.
I'm going to start throwing my dress up.
Let's see what happens.
And then change your dress.
That's the girl girl.
Yeah.
So, so you can cut this out.
If you know that.
I'm still looking at all of the secrets and everything else because how you get up there and how you, you know, because you don't just transform yourself when you do that.
I'm sitting there looking at you.
I'm still thinking about that little big head girl trying to get the hat on her head for Easter Bunny and all this stuff.
And I'm, and I'm sitting in the star.
And, and you know, twist in there working in and I'm thinking to myself, would she learn a generator hips like that?
It's a whole different.
You walk out like that.
Come on now.
It's a whole different.
What is that?
It's a new.
It's just a pretty sad.
I'm waiting on this.
To get OK, so we can come back up and see it.
Oh, I'm.
She's going to be playing very shortly at this new venue or she's also.
Someone.
It's not a new venue, but it's in our area.
It's.
I think.
Yes.
Yes.
It's called the Falcon.
It's in Melbourne, New York.
We're going.
And I'm all good at well.
It'll be sailing.
It's going to be on March 12.
Oh, I think I'm free.
And it's, you know, we're only going to be on for about a half hour, you know, but I was asked to open for someone.
And to tell you the truth, you know, it's really is a big deal to play at the Falcon.
But the biggest charge that I, you know, the thing that just really, you know, warms me and gives me chills and all that is the fact that that's someone.
That is that another artist in the area of wonderful artists.
And she has selected me and that makes me feel really good.
And you should, you should.
But it's just, it's amazing.
And so you bring to life so much energy and everything that you do.
I mean, you've taken on several, that's, you've had two big things.
The speech there, the songsters.
But the other things you've done in between, I mean, you're a tennis player.
You're an art, aficionado.
You sit on boards with that.
You're a jurist and all the different ways.
And at the same time, you study your craft.
You don't just do it.
You go and take lessons.
You go and you take singing and voice and you stay on top of your game.
How do you find the energy?
Is it just the passion that drives you?
What drives me?
I want to do a good job.
Yeah, because you know, somebody will just say, I'm tired.
Oh, well, sometimes I get tired, but you know, okay, so you get tired.
You take a nap, you get up.
And you take that course online or, you know, you connect with other people that, you know,
they're doing with them.
You can do it.
And you can team to grow.
You can take them to canvaclasses.
Yes, that's the difference in people that want to do something.
And they say, oh, I could do that.
And you know what?
My new saying that I say to people, you may want to do it, but you could never do that.
And people think that's mean.
It's not that it's mean is that it's real.
And the reason why they can't do it is because they're not willing to do the hard part.
And they're not willing to constantly work to improve and to carve out a new space for themselves.
And even when you wind up in a space where, I mean, you may be the oldest person singing up on the stage.
Yeah, yeah, but you know what?
When you step out there, you compete and you do it.
And the audience stands and cheers and people love it.
And they love you.
And I love you.
And I love you.
And I'm extremely inspiring.
It's so inspiring.
And we're so glad that you came here today to share your story with us so much.
And we don't have to tell you to lace up your dance and shoes because they're so pretty.
So he keeps a dance and shoes on.
And like I said, you can always cut that part about Walter.
No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
I had, I've always been, you know, kind of laid back and, you know, I'm a background person, which is why I wanted to be background singer, yeah, yeah, yeah, but, but it's taught me, okay, you know, this is not, this is my life, it's not a rehearsal, this is, this is it
and, and I just, I just want to learn as much as my king so that I can maximize, you know, whatever it is that, that I have to offer
and, you know, may not be, but it's not going to be, but it's, it's, it's what I got, it's, it's me and I'm not that bad, I'm not even so, no, and it brings you joy, it makes you smile, it does, it really does, give us that, give us that quote again that we're going to put on the t-shirt, oh,
it's not like you got all day honey, I love that, and we close with that, I did it, I did it, well, my dancing shoes right now go up, I'm just trying to, thank you, thank you so much and we definitely, I'm sure that you have a safe and, and, uh, leisurely journey back, maybe you'll write a song on the way back, write a song about, oh, should I go to New York, yeah, okay
I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a little girl, I'm like a
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can swim, uhh and a journey, the beauty of life is just boring, combined with fingers, too awesome little girls who can actually enjoy their