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You’re tired.
Not just physically; though yeah, that too.
You’re tired in your bones. In your soul.
Trying to be a steady husband, an intentional dad, a man of God… but deep down, you feel like you’re falling short. Like you’re carrying more than you know how to hold.
Dad Tired is a podcast for men who are ready to stop pretending and start healing.
Not with self-help tips or religious platitudes, but by anchoring their lives in something (and Someone) stronger.
Hosted by Jerrad Lopes, a husband, dad of four, and fellow struggler, this show is a weekly invitation to find rest for your soul, clarity for your calling, and the courage to lead your family well.
Through honest stories, biblical truth, and deep conversations you’ll be reminded:
You’re not alone. You’re not too far gone. And the man you want to be is only found in Jesus.
This isn’t about trying harder.
It’s about coming home.
Hey guys. Welcome back to the Dad Tired podcast. Glad that you're here with us again, or for the first time, if you're just stumbling upon the podcast, welcome. We're just a bunch of dudes who are trying to figure out what it looks like for us to fall in love with Jesus and help our families do the same.
Before we dive into today's episode, I wanna thank my friends over at Dwell Differently for sponsoring this episode. Dwell Differently as a tangible tool to help families memorize and meditate on scripture together. They equip families with the tools they need to be successful and consistent with scripture memorization.
You could either pick temporary tattoos or vinyl stickers, put 'em on backpacks or water bottles, or folders, or use the temporary tattoos. My kids are always all tatted up. I was just looking at one of the temporary tattoos that my daughter had. She had it on for like two weeks. Anyway, it's a really, really fun and practical way to memorize scripture.
We use these all the time, every single week in our house. They also, when you have a membership, they come with a ton of extras, including digital downloads for your devices. They have coloring sheets for the kids free weekly devotionals, group discussion questions. They even have a weekly podcast, just an amazing ministry that is helping families.
With very practical tools to memorize scripture together. If you're trying to be the spiritual leader of your home and you're looking for practical tools, go to dwell differently.com. You can use the promo code Dad tired, and they will give you your first month for free, or it will give you a 10% off discount.
If you decide to go for a full year membership, again, go to dwell differently.com. Use the promo code, dad tired, and uh, you'll get your first month free. Alright, that being said, let's dive into today's episode.
We just got back from our dad tired annual retreat and I just wanna say, man, if you did not get a chance to make it, we'll do it next year and just do whatever you can in your power to get there. I've been doing ministry, I think I'm on 18 years now, started right when I was outta high school. I. But in full-time ministry.
And I can truly say I've never seen anything more powerful in my life, and that's two years in a row. Last year I had kind of a secret fear as we were leaving, as we were driving away from the retreat, I was like, oh, shoot. Like God did such huge things. I'm not sure we're gonna be able to do that again.
And that's just a sign of probably my lack of faith because. God showed up again, dude, like just incredible, incredible ways I'll be posting. We had a guy there who volunteered his time. We had a few guys there actually who volunteered their time as videographers and, uh, so we got a bunch of footage. I didn't have any footage last year.
It's hard to like describe what God did. Um, even with video, it's hard to, like to, you can't really capture the Holy Spirit on camera, I guess, and what he was doing, but. We did have some video and I think it, it gives you a glimpse of what was happening. Tons of guys getting baptized on the spot, spontaneously in the river, making decisions.
I think there was healing that happened. Confession of sin, I think guys were repenting to each other and as a result, finding healing for the first time. We had guys who shared their story, guys who were thinking about giving up their life, calling it quits on life. And, uh, that week. And felt prompted to continue to go to the, the retreat and, uh, God captured their heart again.
I mean, I could go on and on about all the crazy things that God did. Anyway. Be there, man. Be there next year. I don't think we're gonna be back in Arkansas only because I, I think we outgrew that space. Last year. We had a hundred guys sign up. We were wondering if we could get a hundred. We got a hundred this year.
We had about just under 200 guys. We had some guys drop out at the last minute, but we had just about 200 guys show up this year. I'm expecting probably close to 250, 300 guys. Some guys think that we're gonna have close to 500 there. I don't, I don't know if we'll find a spot that big that can hold all that, but all that to say, show up next time.
Man, it's incredible. It is. Abso, I've never seen anything like it. Oh, lemme just say one more thing on this. I know I'm rambling 'cause I'm all excited. I just got home from it, but. One of the things that one guy said to me when we were in line, getting ready to eat lunch, that I thought was so profound, he said, I've been here for two days and there's 200 guys here.
I've been talking to everyone. Two things that stuck out to him. Number one was he said, I don't know the denomination of any other guy. Like we're not all of us are gathering together. There's all kinds of denominations and faith backgrounds as far as like Christian faith backgrounds represented here.
Lots of ways that people worship Jesus traditionally, but. There. It was just like all that we were focused on. We weren't getting hung up on little things. We were just all focused on pursuing Jesus together. So that was one thing that stuck out to him, which I thought was cool. The other thing that stuck out to him, he said, was that he had been there for two days and he didn't know what anyone else's job was, which when he said that, I thought that was so profound because oftentimes his guys, we find our identity in what we do as work, like for work, and we're always kind of sizing each other up.
What do you do? What do you do? I'm trying to compare like am I valuable? Are you valuable? Very subconsciously, but we do this all the time and he said, I've been here for a couple days, I've talked to dozens of guys, and I have no idea what anyone else does for work. Our identity is being found that we are sons of God, we're loved by the most high and.
Dude, I don't know if what is better than that, you know, it's just absolutely incredible. So anyway, make sure you come next year as you hear me start to advertise next year. Just make sure you sign up right away. Do whatever you can to get there. 'cause it will change you, man. It will change you. Uh, I did wanna share some of the thoughts that I shared the opening night, um, with the guy.
So if you were at the conference, if you were one of those 190 plus guys that were at the conference, the retreat this year, I apologize, you heard these thoughts a couple days ago. But for the rest of you, I know we've got tens of thousands of guys who listen to this podcast, so I wanted to share some of the things that God put on my heart for the rest of you who weren't able to attend, uh, the retreat this year as I was getting ready to prepare for whatever God wanted to say to me and to us at the retreat, usually when I get asked to speak like.
A couple months in advance and you know, a month in advance, I just start praying real intentionally. God, what do you wanna say to these men? And I'm just asking, I'm trying to be sensitive of the Holy Spirit. I spent a lot of time prayer. I don't wanna just jump to a quick message and write a bunch of thoughts down and just share 'em.
I sincerely never want my opinion to be the greatest thing. Like I want God to speak to us. And so usually before an event, I'll just start praying, God, what do you wanna share to speak to us? Like, what do you wanna speak to these guys? And so I just started praying that as I normally do for the retreat, and God, what do you wanna say to these dad tired guys?
What's a specific word that you have for us, from your word that you want to encourage us with, sharpen us with, convict us with whatever it is. And so I start praying that. And as I'm praying that, I just keep getting the sense that God is saying, Jared, I wanna speak to you. It's hard to sometimes differentiate, like, is this God talking?
Is this my lunch talking? Is this my own thoughts? Talking? You know, there's very rarely do we have like an audible voice from the Lord. And so you're trying to decipher like, is that God speaking or is that just me speaking to my brain? And so PS as a way to like. Figure out is it God or is it you? Just go back to the word like, is this something God does?
Is this God's reputation? You can ask some friends to join you in prayer and, and to seek, like, Hey, will you seek the Holy Spirit with me? And try to get clarity with me on what God is trying to say. So if you're confused on. Whether or not it's your voice or Satan's voice, by the way, Satan, by will never tell you to do something that goes against the nature of God.
So if you're like, God's telling me to get a divorce from my wife 'cause she's super annoying, probably not God. That doesn't make sense for God's reputation. It doesn't make sense with the what we know from the word of God. And so you're just trying to like distinguish, is this the word of God or is this just me or is this the enemy trying to like.
Put some weird thoughts in my brain. Go back to the word of God. He has a reputation. He is a person. We can get to know him and his reputation, and then just ask other like-minded friends. Like, Hey, do you, what do you think about this? Does this check out as I'm processing some of these thoughts? So anyway, I'm, I'm sharing or I'm, I'm praying and I'm asking God to, you know, what do you have for these guys?
And as I'm praying that, I just keep coming back to God. I feel like this, God's saying, uh, Jared, I have something for you. I have something for you. And truly, uh, if I could be totally honest with you, as I'm praying, I'm like getting annoyed. 'cause I'm like. I don't need you to talk to me right now, God, like I'm trying to, it's getting time crunched.
Like, what do you wanna say to these guys? Like, I, I get it. Yeah, you, maybe you have something for me, but like, what do you wanna say to these guys? And I really just felt like the Holy Spirit was, for lack of better words, annoying me when it comes to what he wanted to say to me. And there's part of me, dude, I'm just trying to be totally honest with you.
There's part of me that was like, God. I'm teaching here, like I, I've been following you for a long time. I know what your cost is to follow you. I know what you're trying to do in my own life. Like I'm just, give me something clever, if I'm being honest. Gimme something wise, something that these guys have never heard that would be profound to them and be helpful for them.
And again and again, I just felt like the spirit was kind of poking at me or annoying me or tugging on me like. Jared, I have something for you. And I think what's crazy about that, when I say annoying, I feel weird kind of putting that into a sentence when I'm talking about God, God is annoying me. And I don't mean that in the sense that God is annoying.
What I picture God doing is the same thing I would do to my kids. So I think about my son who's 12, and he would want nothing more than to sit on the couch all day to eat Cheetos and to play Fortnite with his friends. Like that's his dream life right now. And I would love nothing more to make sure that that never happens.
You know what I mean? And so when I say, son, you're not doing that. You're not gonna just eat junk food and play video games. That's annoying to him. He's like, dad, come on. You know? But that's annoying to him. But I'm not an annoying dad. I'm actually a dad who loves my son deeply and knows that I have more for him.
And so I'm not gonna let him live his life in that way. And that's the same way that I think God kind of annoys us. It's a father that says, son, I have more for you. I have more of me that you need to get to know. I have more parts of your life that I'm trying to redeem. And so I know, son, that you might drift towards comfort and you want to be selfish and you want things to be done your own way.
And you would love nothing more than just to live a nice, comfortable, easy life. And yet, as your father, I have something more for you. And so the Holy Spirit often annoys us. And by that I mean he gets into the dark places that we would rather keep in the dark. And that is really what I was sensing when I was feeling that sense of God, I don't want you to annoy me right now because I wasn't ready for my own life to be exposed for my own sin, to be exposed for the own dark places of my heart to be exposed.
I would rather be comfortable. I would rather have some nice message that I could just share with a bunch of guys, and they're encouraged and challenged and they walk away and we all kind of pat each other on the back. That's what I would rather do in the same way that my son would rather sit on the couch and play video games.
I would rather just be comfortable and the Holy Spirit said, no, Jared, I'm not gonna let you be comfortable. I have something for you. And so listen. And so I just started to listen. I met a couple a, a while back who the wife was really we, I was speaking at this event and the wife came up to me and she was really encouraged by what God was doing at this event.
It was a marriage conference. And she was really encouraged by this. And, and she had brought her husband down. And I could sense there was something in her that was like, I'm getting it. I'm starting to feel passionate about the Lord. I'm starting to feel excited. Like, can you just help my husband get there too?
Uh, which is always fun, you know, like, I don't wanna side up with a wife and like tear the husband down. That's not really what we're about here at that tire. So I just started to ask the dude, I was like, Hey man, what, like, what are you feeling? What do you feel like God's doing? And so he was like, you know, I'm, I feel like.
God saved me when I was young. I believed in God when I was young, and uh, he's really, I feel like I've been a good guy and I'm not cheating on her and I'm providing financially, like I feel like I'm a good person, you know, I'm, I'm doing my best. And I could sense that there was part of her that felt frustrated by that.
And as he was. Talking, I noticed, one thing I noticed was that he kept going back to his faith as a child, that God saved him as a child. And you know, he believed as a child, which is awesome. Like that's a lot of stories for a lot of guys. Like God captured your heart even as a kid, which is super cool.
But there was part of me as I was listening, I was like, but I wonder like what is God doing in you now? Like today, like what is God doing in your heart recently? You know, I get that God like saved you a long time ago. Super cool, but like what is God doing today? I grew up a Christian too, like when I was young, I remember going to church and they were presenting the options of faith.
And I remember this like super vividly and I, I remember how young I was, but I was young and I remember at Sunday school they were saying. They were presenting heaven and hell and they were saying like hell, they kind of, this teacher went into this like real deep, serious, like hell is this forever eternal fire where you're tortured and separated from God and away from everyone that you love and everything.
That's good. And I remember just feeling terrified. And then she presented heaven. Like Heaven is this angelic, majestic place that you get to be with Jesus forever. And I remember thinking, I don't remember if she said it or I remember thinking like, you can swim underwater forever. Which. Without needing to hold your breath, which I'm not even sure is theologically accurate or where that comes from, you know, but it sounded cool, you know, like, I'm like, okay, sweet.
You know, like I could snorkel without a snorkel. I'm in, dude. Like if I'm picking torture or I'm snorkeling without a snorkel, dude, like I, I want the snorkel without a snorkel. Maybe we should title the podcast Snorkel without a Snorkel. I said that too many times. But the point is, uh, I remember one was just like amazing and one was terrible, and then she presented the way that you get into the amazing place.
You just gotta pray this prayer. If you repeat this prayer after me, you can go to heaven and you could avoid going to hell. And that seemed like a really easy choice to me. I was like, well, yeah, I don't definitely don't wanna be tortured for all of eternity. And so I repeated the prayer after her and.
She told me I was saved. I think I got like a couple stickers or something and got sent on my way, and I remember going home. And thinking, I remember her saying, you have to really believe in your heart that God, Jesus is real, that he died for your sins. And then I kind of had a panic attack, like, oh shoot.
Like I don't know if I really believed in my heart. And so I prayed again that night. I prayed that same prayer, like, God come into my heart. I believe you come into my heart. I, I wanna be with you forever. And then that thought for years just kind of haunted me. The thought of, am I really believing it or am I just saying it?
I was all in my head about it. And so I just kept praying over and over and over again every time. If there was an option to pray, I would pray every night before bed. I would pray every time a pastor would invite somebody to pray that prayer. After I would just pray all the time praying. I really didn't want to go to hell, and so I just kept praying.
I probably prayed that prayer 10,000 times and I ended up growing up in church. And that's, by the way, not a good theology like that is not a. The way that Jesus taught salvation or his kingdom coming, or what it means to be a disciple of his. Maybe there's a sliver of truth in there, but the discipleship call was way deeper than just avoiding hell, so the heaven as a way to avoid hell.
And so I kind of just grew up with this like, all right, I'm gonna be involved in church. Maybe I'll help out and volunteer in the youth group as I got older. And I just did this. I did what the church asked me to do to the point where I had graduated high school, got hired by a church right away. Started out as a worship pastor, our junior high pastor, then became a worship pastor, then a teaching pastor.
I. And I just was kind of living the best church life that you were supposed to live. I ended up moving from California to Oregon as a pastor, and I was a single guy. I was like 21 years old. Youngest pastor on staff there. I didn't really know what I was doing, but you know, I just, I. Doing what I had always done, you know, serving the church and do the, the Christian thing.
And I remember we were hosting a Chris Tomlin concert and I saw this girl walk in. My job that night was to welcome all the guests. I was like a greeter at the door. And I saw this girl walk in and I remember, I'm like a single guy. I'm, I'm on the hunt, you know, so I see this cute girl walk in and I think, oh geez, I'm gonna make sure that she feels.
Extra welcome tonight. So I went and introduced myself. I was like, hello, you know, welcome to the church. I had never seen you before. Is there anything you can do? You know, I'm asking way too many questions. I'm like coming in way too strong. And, uh, that girl ended up being my now wife, Layla. And so we just talked all the time.
We started talk, we talked that night a bunch. I ended up asking her if she wanted to grab coffee the next day. I was bold, bro. Like you just gotta go for it. I remember thinking if she did, if I don't ask this girl to marry me, somebody else is going to quickly, so I just went after it. And so. Asked her to coffee and we started hanging out and you know, like kind of started to date.
And so weeks we're a couple weeks into a relationship together. And I remember one time we were driving in my little Toyota Tacoma pickup truck, two-door pickup truck, this tiny little pickup truck. We were driving down the road and I remember, you know, thought we had a good day. Everything was going really well, and she just turns to me, it felt like outta nowhere, like outta the blue.
She just turns to me and she says, Jared, do you love Jesus because you really love Jesus? Or do you love Jesus because you get paid to? I was like, what? I was so caught off guard. I'm like, what? What? It seems like, do you love Jesus because you like, you work at a church and you really love him? Or like, is God really changing you?
Do you, do you really love him? Dude, I was so mad when she asked me that question. I was like, who do you think you are? I'm a pastor. I remember thinking before that like how lucky she is that she found me. Like I'm, that's how stupid I am, how stupid I was, especially back then. Like, oh my gosh, she was brand new to the face.
She had just given her life to Christ in college and she was hungry for the Lord. So she's like fresh into just following Jesus. And here I am this experienced, quote unquote experienced Christian pastor. And uh, I remember thinking like, man, she probably feels so blessed. She probably feels so blessed that she like came, stumbled in this church and God put our lives together and I greet her and now she gets to be dating this pastor at this big church.
And bro, she was not at all. She just called me out on my stuff. She's like, do you really love Jesus? 'cause you love him or do you love him because you get paid to be? And dude, I was so mad. I'm like, how are you asking me that? It was, I was so caught off guard by that. I thought she was thinking she's blessed and here she is like, convicting me man outta nowhere.
I barely knew this girl. I'm like, who do you think you are? Like. I teach people the Bible. I lead worship for people. I've said the prayer 10,000 times, you know, like, I'm saved, man. Like God saved me at a, at a young age. I. And I remember like legitimately being mad at her, I drove her back to her apartment, dropped her off, and it was awkward.
Like we were quiet. I didn't know what to say, but she could clearly tell that I was super frustrated. I dropped her off. She goes back to her apartment and I remember I went home that night and it was just that question. I was mad, but then my, my anger kind of subsided and I started to feel like convicted.
Like, oh, shoot, like those words were haunting me. Do I really love Jesus? Do I actually love him? Or am I just, am I faking it? Like, am I paid to be a Christian? And I remember thinking like, well, no man. I, I prayed like God captured my heart when I was young. I prayed when I was young. Like, what right does she have?
Of course, I'm a Christian. I've been a Christian my whole life. Hey guys, sorry to interrupt. We'll jump right back into that conversation just a second. But I did wanna let you know if you want to have a dad tired conference at your church, maybe your church leader or a church volunteer. Or you just know your pastor or can put this in front of your pastor.
We would love to do a dad tired one day conference at your church. We do these all over the country. We've even done them in different countries around the world. We can do them anywhere, but these are a really great way to expose the men of your church to dad tired. It's really helpful for them. It will equip the men to be the husbands and fathers and disciples that God is calling them to be.
So if you're interested in bringing a one day conference to your church, make sure to go to dad tired.com. Click the one day conference tab, and then you can sign up that form and we can talk about what it looks like to bring a dad tired conference again to your church. We would love to do that. That being said, we'll jump right back into today's episode.
You remember that passage in John six? It's John 6 67 to 69. Jesus is performing miracles. All of John six, he's like he, he had just fed 5,000 and he's performing all these miracles, and as he's performing miracles and going around feeding people and healing people, he starts to get this big crowd that starts to fall along with them because now they're interested, like, this guy can heal us if we're sick.
This guy can heal the blind. He can feed us if we're hungry. And so you watch this crowd just Jesus kind of like moving around in this crowd, this large crowd is following him around. Well, Jesus gets to the point where these people start to ask him, Hey, well show us another sign. Show us another sign. He almost becomes like the circus pony.
Do another trick, circus monkey. Maybe that's it. Do another trick for us. Do another trick for us. And Jesus says. Listen, you're coming for bread, but you don't need bread. Like even Moses had bread, but those people that ate the bread from heaven, even they died like, you need more than bread. You need me.
You want a trick, you want some miracle, but what you actually need is me. And so Jesus starts to shift from like feeding 5,000 with bread and these loaves and fishes. He turns from that where he says, listen, you don't just need bread. You need to eat of my flesh. You need to eat of meat. What he's saying is, you don't need to eat bread, you need to eat of meat.
You need to consume me. Be part of me, come to my message, be part of my kingdom. And so he says, you need to eat my flesh. You need to drink my blood. Now, when he says that, it starts to get weird, like the atmosphere shifts because he used to just be doing these miracles and he was doing cool stuff. He's doing cool tricks, and they're like, all right, show us another one.
Show us another one. And then he shifts to saying, eat my flesh, drink my blood. And they get weirded out by that. The scriptures. Literally say in John six that they started to leap the disciples. Many disciples started to turn their back on Jesus and walk away. Now Jesus at that point could have like lowered the bar.
He could have said like, okay, that probably was a little bit intense. I probably shouldn't have been talking about like eating my flesh. I could see where you thought that was weird. You know what I, here's what I meant. But Jesus doesn't, he doesn't like change the message. He doesn't start to water it down.
He continues to let the disciples leave, which is a really scary image. People who were following him, disciples who were following him, started to turn away and he just let them go. And then Jesus says this in John chapter six, verse 67, he says this, so Jesus said to the 12, do you want to go away as well?
Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life and we have believed and have come to know that you are the holy one of God. Think about that for a second. At this point in Jesus's ministry, Peter had been following him for about a year, if not close to a year and a half.
We don't know for sure, but we know for sure. We can kind of piece go back into the timeline of events that we know happened historically. So we know that he had been following him for at least a year, if not longer. So at this point, when Jesus turns to Peter and says, do you want to go, you would think Peter would have every right to say, how are you gonna ask me that?
How are you gonna bug me? Or annoy, ask me an annoying question like, am I, do I want to go Jesus, a year? I've been following you for a year. I've been confused. I don't understand all this stuff, but I'm with you for the last year I've been with you. In fact, Jesus, when you asked me to come follow you, I gave up everything.
I gave up my whole career to come follow you. He could have gone back on what used to happen, but Jesus seems to have the right and the reputation to say, you know what? I get to still ask you if you're all in. Yes. You gave your life up a year ago to come follow me. Yes. For the last year you've been following me faithfully.
But still, even with all that, I still have the right to ask, are you still all in? All in? Do you want to go away as well? And that's essentially what I feel like Jesus was doing to me this week. And when I was thinking back to when I met Layla, there's every part of me that wanted to say This week, God, come on.
Why do you want to talk to me right now? Like. I've already followed you. I already get it. Like I'm, I'm doing my best here. I could have said to Layla, I said the prayer, I did say, you know, I've said the prayer 10,000 times. I've, I've given my life to Christ when I was young. But God has this reputation and he has the right to keep poking, to keep annoying and say, yes, I know what you used to do.
I know what things were like a year ago, or five years ago, or 10 years ago, but I'm asking you today, are you still in? Are you sure you're still in? I remember during that time, I just, I was struggling with that question so much. That I remember just praying to God, I hadn't really wrestled with my, not my salvation, but just my relationship with Jesus like in a deep way.
Like where am I at with the Lord? And I remember just thinking, okay, I've taught the Bible. I've heard the Bible a million times, but I just wanna read the scriptures as if I've never read them. I want to just try to come up with a blank slate and say, what do the scripture say it means to follow Jesus?
Not what my idea is, not what my church telling me to do, not what I've taught other people, not what I've heard a million times. But if I just had a blank canvas and I opened up the scriptures, the New Testaments, Matthew, mark, Luke, and John, and I just read those and I just looked at how Jesus called his disciples and what his disciples did, and I just asked, okay, what does it look like for them just on scripture?
What did it look like for somebody to make a decision to follow Jesus and make it be a disciple? Here's what I come up with. I just, I'm gonna read these. I'm just gonna fly through these. Here's some passages that stuck out to me in the New Testament. Matthew four 18. Listen to these and let the Holy Spirit convict you.
Okay? By convict you, I mean, two Timothy three 16, all scriptures, God breeds and is useful for teaching rebuking, correcting, and training and righteousness. So as you listen to these scriptures, just say, all right, God, is there something you want to teach me? Rebuke me, correct me so that you can train me.
You can build me up in righteousness. All right, so as you listen to these verse, just allow the Holy Spirit to do what he's gonna do in your heart. Matthew four, verse 18 to 20, while walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon, who is called Peter and his brother, and Andrew, his brother, casting Annette into the sea for they were fishermen.
And he said to them, follow me and I will make you fishers of men. Immediately, they left their nets and followed him. Matthew 7 21 to 23. Not everyone who says to me, Lord, Lord will enter into the kingdom of heaven. But the one who does the will of my father, who is in heaven on that day, many will say to me, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and cast out demons in your name?
And do many works in your name? And then I will declare to them, I never knew you depart from me, you workers of lawlessness. 8 34, 38, and calling the crowd to him and his disciples. He said to them, if anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it.
But whoever loses his life for my sake, and the gospels will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? And for what can a man give in return for his soul? For whoever is ashamed of me, of my words, and this adulterous and sinful nation of him, will the son of man also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his father with the Holy Angels, Luke 9 57 to 62.
And as they were going along the road, some said to him, I will follow you wherever you go. And Jesus said to him, foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests. But the son of man has nowhere to lay his head to another. He said, follow me. And he said, Lord, let me first go and bury my father. And Jesus said to him, leave the dead to bury their own dead.
But as for you, go. Proclaim the kingdom of God. Yet another said to him, I will follow you Lord, but first let me say farewell to those at my home. Jesus said to him, no one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God. Even as I read these passages today, there's a part of me that's convicted.
I read this and I think to myself, well, like, come on. Jesus that it seems a little dramatic. You know, he talked about like hating father and mother giving up. You can't even go say goodbye, let the dead bury their own Dad, puts their hand to the plow and looks back. They're not fit for the kingdom, you know, immediately go.
It just feels like, all right, Jesus, are you just trying to make a point or you're being dramatic to make a point. I wonder, man, if we have watered down the cost of discipleship. What it means to truly be a follower of Jesus if we've just said, you just have to say a prayer and then you're good to go, but Jesus, in fact, nowhere in the Gospels not once.
Is there ever this idea that somebody just needed to repeat a prayer after Jesus and then they were good to go? Like Jesus kept raising the bar higher and higher. This is what it means to be a disciple of mine. You wanna follow me? You really wanna follow me? It's gonna cost you your life. What does a prophet, a man to gain?
Everything. But to lose his soul, you need to give up everything to come and be my disciple. And I think sometimes for a lot of us, we say, yeah, but God knows I'm a dad and he knows I'm a husband. He knows I have to, I have bills to pay. And like we got the realities of work. And yes, that's all true, but also what's true is the cost of discipleship is high.
And there's such a big part of us that feels like, all right, God. Like come on, are you really serious right now? Like, do we really need juice? And I wonder if Jesus would say yes. Yes. I had a friend one time ask me, it was my old roommate back in, I, I don't remember how young I was, but I was young before I got married.
He asked me, he was getting into golf and he asked me, do you want to go golfing with me? And I've been, I grew up playing sports, so I, you know, I, I've always like, I can pick up a, a ball and be. Somewhat decent, at least be able to kind of keep up so it's not annoying. And so I remember for golf, I'm like, all right, you know, I'll, I'll do some research.
I didn't have any clubs, so I did a bunch of research on what kind of clubs to get. I remember watching some YouTube videos on how to swing the club and uh, go out there and how to hit, how to chip and how to putt and all this stuff. And I felt, honestly, I felt really good about it. I felt, I'm like, I got this.
So I went out golfing with him. Dude, I could not have been worse. At that stupid game. It's a dumb game. That's one of the dumbest games. All you gotta do is put that little ball in a hole, you know? And for whatever reason, I could not do it, man. I swing in, I'm losing the club, missing the ball. I'm just like, this is the dumb.
It didn't matter how much of an expert I was, how much I read about it, how many YouTube videos I watched on it. How much confidence I had because I had done my research. Dude, when I actually went out there to hit the ball, I couldn't hit the ball. There's this passage in Matthew. Matthew 23 to 27. Woe to you.
Scribes and Pharisees hypocrites for you are like whitewashed tombs, which outwardly appear beautiful but within are full of dead people's bones and all UNC cleanliness. So you also outwardly appear righteous to others, but within you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. And one of my biggest fears is that we as men would be, I'll just speak for myself.
One of my biggest fears is that I would look good on the outside. I. People might hear me speak or read a book or. See something on Instagram or whatever and think, oh, that guy's probably really saved and really close to Jesus. But on the inside, I'm full of dead bones that I'm an expert. I've done everything there is.
I've read the books. I've written stuff I can tell you about Jesus. I can quote things about God and Christianity and discipleship, but dude on the inside, I'm like, I don't know anything. I'm far from God. I'm a whitewashed tomb. I look good on the outside. I'm full of deadness death on the inside. You know what's crazy, man?
You can fool a lot of people. You can fool a lot of people. Maybe if I were in a conversation, I could probably have convinced you, I knew a lot about golf by just talking, by running my mouth. I've done a bunch of research. I, yeah, I picked up these clubs. These are super cool. You know, I've, uh, I know how to put, you gotta, you gotta hold the club at this way, you know?
But when I actually get out there, I have no clue what I'm doing. And I wonder how many times. For us as men, we can just kind of talk the talk. No, no. Yeah, this God did this. God's like this. I can tell you all about God, but when it actually comes down to it, I have no clue what I'm doing. I've never actually hit the ball.
Well, I've never, I've never held the club right and done it well. And you know who can tell your wife and your kids, your wife and your kids can tell, you can fool the whole world, but the people closest to you that they can tell. One of my biggest fears is that my kids would see. You know, kind of a whitewashed tomb to the world.
I look good to the rest of the world at work and around other people, but inside they see the death. You know what I mean? What we need to be is men who say, like, I know what it's like to be in the quiet places with the Lord. I know what it's like to wrestle with Jesus, to, to wrestle over the scriptures, to, to have the scriptures open me up.
Do surgery to cut out the wickedness and the selfishness, the things that so desperately long for comfort and to please myself to say, holy Spirit, come in. I know what it's like to be in the quiet places, to cry, to weep, to beg for God's mercy, to be face to face with the reality of my own wickedness, and said, and say, God, I hate that sin in meah.
Would you rid me of it? Even if it hurts, would you rid me of that sin for the sake of your glory? That I would show off the world what you are like God, do in me what you must do. The quiet places, I mentioned this at the retreat, but I've heard this where they said Michael Jordan used to do a hundred free throws.
I don't know if this is true, but they said Michael Jordan used to do a hundred free throws before bed every night before he went to bed. In the quiet man. When nobody's watching. When nobody's looking, he is just quietly practicing, man. Would we be men who are in the quiet, not the ones being the first to speak up.
Tell everybody what we know about theology to tell everyone, oh, God did this when I was so and so, man, just in the quiet places. Would we be caught quietly following Jesus when nobody's looking? Nobody's watching. Are we seeking the Lord? Are we in the prayer closets crying out to God? Are we reading the scriptures and wrestling with what the Lord has to say to us?
The Holy Spirit is trying to convince in us. And so I guess that's a really long way of saying what's God annoying you about? What is God trying to poke in you today? And you may say, nah, man, but like six months ago, God did this. Last year. God did this when I was a kid. God did this. Yeah. But Jesus has the reputation and the right in the same way that he told Peter, are you still in?
He has the right to ask you that today. Are you still in brother like today? Are you still in? And I know you could, you might want to, everything in you wants to point back to what God used to do. You know what God did in you years ago. But I wonder if Jesus would look at you and say, are you still in today?
Before you just quickly say yes, think about those verses the cost of discipleship. Do you still want to die today? Maybe before you made a decision? You know, I'm sick of living in my flesh. Everything in living in my flesh has hurt me, man. It's caused deep pain, but I want the kingdom of God to come and I know that the kingdom of God coming means that I need to die to myself, that I need to take up my cross, that there would be less of me and more of him.
Maybe you've said that at one time, but man, that flesh is crept back up. Everything in you is crept back in and say, man, no, I kind of want more of me. I want more of me. Jesus might look at us today and say, are you willing to die again today? Are you sure? Are you sure? And we could be frustrated by that.
We could be annoyed by that. God, I don't want to hear that today. But Jesus, he says, God of the universe, man. Remember when he said, why do you call me Lord when you don't do what I say? It's not really a Lord. He's just like a life coach and we'll take his advice when we want. But Jesus says, I'm not trying to be your life coach.
I'm not trying to be your advisor from time to time. I'm not trying to help give you some blessing so that you can succeed in this life. I'm asking you to die. We would rid you of you and that I, my and by my Holy Spirit would come and fill you up and your life would look a lot more like me and a lot less like you.
And I know you've been following me for however many years, but are you still in today? Are you still in. And so my question for you today is, what is God bugging you about? What is he chasing after in you? What parts of your life is he still trying to get into? And you have to answer the question, are you still in?
Hey guys, as always, I hope that episode was helpful for you on your journey of becoming more like Jesus and helping your family do the same. Again, if you are interested in bringing a dad tired conference to your church, we would love to talk to you about that. It's a one day conference. We do them on Saturdays.
And we do them all over the country and world. So we can come to your church and host a whole dad tired one day conference for the men. You can do that by going to dad tire.com. Click the one day conference tab or the conferences tab and you can fill out a form and we can talk about what it would look like for us to bring a dad tired one day conference to your church.
Alright, I love you guys. I'll see you next week. See you.