Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Every person has a style, and every style deserves support. Enter your style strategy cheerleader and founder of BU Style, Natalie Tincher. Since 2010 Natalie has worked with hundreds of personal clients as well as large corporations and a major global news network—and she is here to guide you.
In this podcast, you will gain clarity and insights on how to connect your style with your authentic self through Natalie's style expertise as well as interviews with other style-supporting guests like designers, clients, and other professionals in and out of the fashion industry.
Whether you love fashion, fear fashion, or fall somewhere in between, it doesn't matter. This isn't about fashion; it's about exploring who you are and how to own your unique style identity. This podcast will help you cut through the noise and examine your personal style holistically so you can "wear who you are" every day.
0:00
Yeah, there's a running joke that I have with some other colleagues that do virtual training like me. We call it, oh my gosh. It's one of those days I don't have to do the back of my hair.
0:13
Welcome to wear who you are. A podcast that takes the fear out of fashion and holds space for everyone to explore how to connect your authenticity with your personal style. I'm your host. Natalie tincher, founder of Vu style, expert style strategist, and your enthusiastic friend and safe space of support. I believe that every person has a style, and every style deserves a seat. With over a decade of experience working with hundreds of personal clients, I've learned a thing or two about how to help others have a healthy and holistic approach to navigating, how to build a wardrobe that reflects who you are. So pull up your seat and let's get started.
0:53
Hello, hello, hello. It's a wear who you are Wednesday, and today we have an excellent episode that really exemplifies the name of the podcast, my guest is Gina trimarco, and she is a rock star in every sense of the word, magnetic unfiltered. Tells it like it is in tune with life, but doesn't take herself too seriously, and she always has a little sprinkle of humor in everything that she does think bold lipstick with a great name, which we'll put in the show notes, and a shock of red hair that commands a room, and this episode made me feel really connected to the name of this podcast. Let me tell you why. Sometimes we say something so often, we start to feel disconnected from the words. You've been there, right? We forget what it really means. If you know me at all, you'll know that I love words. I mean, I really love words. I was an editor before, and even now, every day, open my New York Times. I do my connections. I do my Wordle, I do my strands. Kelly just taught me about a new one that I have to do. I love words. I just posted something about the Oxford comma. I feel very strongly about it. You know, I digress. I just really love words, obviously. So backing up, I wanted to reconnect a little bit with some words I say very often, to wear who you are. The title of the podcast is all about understanding yourself, your values, and how your clothes carry those feelings and values. The expression to wear one's heart on one's sleeve is a lovely one, and it really comes to mind here. Our feelings are connected to our clothes, whether we like it or not. In this episode, we talk about how to show up as yourself in business settings, how to wear who you are authentically when the setting is a little more business oriented than maybe you'd prefer, and how this affects not only how others see you, but how you feel about yourself. I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve when I say I love chatting with Gina, a master communicator and sales specialist. Enjoy this industry. Jason. Episode of where who you are with Gina trimarco,
2:46
all right, I am thrilled to introduce a friend, a colleague. We met maybe a year or so ago. I was on her podcast. Gina trimarco, so each time that I meet with her, I'm still getting to know her. I am wildly impressed with her knowledge and skills and her amazing sense of humor. I love already the banter that we have just to scratch the surface before we dive in. Gina is an expert sales improv trainer and leadership strategist who helps organizations rehumanize relationships through improvised intelligence. She's also the host of the women your mother warned you about podcast, founder of Carolina improv, an improv comedy theater and school, Best Selling Author, organizational health advisor and certified work genius facilitator, I say fate brought us together and on this podcast because her first job, hot tip was selling hot Jordache jeans and members only jackets at age 10 in a flea market. Who all remembers those brands? I do welcome Gina. Thank you so much. It's so awesome to be here, and I sometimes forget about that story. But I think I wanted to make sure that you knew about my early, early career in selling designer, designer clothes. I thought that was important. I mean, those were really designer back then. That was the hot like, those were the hot brands. Yeah, it was like Jordan ash and Calvin Klein and
4:12
Gloria Vanderbilt. Geez.
4:16
I remember when I got, I remember shopping and getting my first all guests outfit, when guests was really cool and like, a bum equipment shirt, and my mom telling me Natty, because my my grandmother was great depression air, she was Natty. Don't tell your grandma that we spent $32 on a pair of jean shorts. She'll die.
4:38
But those were, like, the brands, it's crazy. Yeah, yeah. I think maybe I never got into buying brands because they always fell off the back of a truck, and I never needed to. That's
4:50
a whole nother story for another time, like so many stories already. Now, my brain is already just exploding, starting, starting in this
4:58
All right, so let's just.
5:00
Dive right in then, because I feel like we have so much to talk about. Yeah, and I think you gave me such a great intro that there's really nothing to add to it. So let's go great. First, tell us where you are calling from. I am in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, not to be confused with Florida. People here Beach, they think Florida. And I'm originally from Chicago, and I still feel like I have to say that as a Midwesterner, I feel like that's always especially in New York. I'm like, I've been in New York 15 years, but I'm from the Midwest, so I'm like, kindly confrontational. I'm not gonna scream at you for standing on the left. I'm going to kindly say, Hey, could you stand to the right? Exactly. I hear you Midwest, so I do want to hear you. Gave us a great intro, but I do. I said a lot of words. Could you please tell us a little bit about what they mean, like, expert, sales, improv trainer, leadership strategist. Give us a little peek into what all of that means. And what you do, you know, going straight to like going straight to it. And I like to get direct into the point most of the time, I can be on tangents as well, but improv and improvisation is such a foundation of everything that I do, and that that thread that runs through everything is really about rehumanizing connections and relationships, whether it's in the sales space or it's in The Employee Engagement space. It's like, how can we connect better? And improv is really such a good foundation for that, because improv helps us improve emotional intelligence skills. And I don't think a lot of people really realize that they think comedy. They think funny, but I found the parallel all the skills that we have to use on stage, these relationship skills of working together as an ensemble lends itself to everything that we do in organizations, but also in our personal lives. So whether you're trying to sell internally to get your employees to buy into what you want them to do, or you're trying to generate more business, you need those relationship skills. And so that's, that's really what it comes down to, what I do, like I'm I'm really good at having sales conversations, because I pay attention and I listen and I lean in, and I'm not asking scripted questions. I have the scripted questions, but I'm really focused on the listen so I can bounce off of them and be really aware of where they're coming from, and that's the key to being successful in business, I think, well, and I want to take that because I learned so much we had a call, and every time I learn a little bit more about what you do, and I recently learned about the different styles of improv, and In particular, the way that you approach it is a we versus a me. Could you explain that for us that have no idea? Yeah, you know, it's interesting in the improv world. So if we break it down from an entertainment standpoint, and there's some such great history, which is in the book that I'm writing called improvised intelligence, if you look at the entertainment aspect of it. How I was taught improv was a we kind of approach, because this actually goes back to
8:10
early 1900s and using improv games in social work and connecting people, especially immigrants coming over to our country and learning the language. So it's very much a we is, is putting the other person first, and people are going to debate that, because there's another side to the to improv philosophy, and it's more about being focused on making other people look good. How do I set you up to look good, to be a rock star, to look like a genius. Because when I do that, the reciprocation kicks in. Meaning, if I make you look good, I actually look good for not making you look bad, if that makes sense, because there are people out there that are so concerned about making themselves look good that it takes away from other people's brilliance, but it also makes you look like a jerk that you're not supportive of someone else, and in the entertainment improv world, there are kind of two schools of thought, the we and the me. And I'm not here to say one is better than the other. Is just a choice. When we teach it in our in our improv school, comedy school, this is our focus. This is our culture. We are we culture. We work better as a team. Other people teach it as put your oxygen mask on first so you can take care of others. So it's two different philosophies. And again, I'm not here to say one is better than the other. It's just a choice. You know, which culture do you want to be in, the we or the me and the me? It can lead to a we, right? Because the concept is to care myself first, and then I can take care of you. To me, the we is take care of us, and US will take care of us. I That speaks very strongly to my soul, in my industry and what I do, and so many people, from a styling perspective. And as you know, it's it's all about, well, I'd have to look fabulous. I this, I that I'm like my.
10:00
My job is to I want to focus on my clients feeling amazing, so I don't need to go in the space and be the loudest one in the room. And that's that's my philosophy, and having a team and building a team. And to your point, there's no right or wrong, but the way that I like to work is to make sure that everyone in the space is taken care of, and I'm listening loudly to what they say, what they need, versus putting my own opinions on their choices. And there's there's some boundaries that we can talk about later, especially when it comes to empowering other women. There's some boundaries I've learned recently about you kind of have to draw the line sometimes, because when we get so focused in the we and we lose track of the me, because we're giving, giving, giving, giving, that can that can create some problems, but that's for another discussion. My therapist calls it my martyr bullshit that we had to get rid of first, because
10:57
she's like, let's get rid of your martyr bullshit, Natalie, because that's the community I grew up in, and we, we will hit on that of what your experiences came from that affect a confidence and authenticity. But for me, she's like, you're never gonna be overly Me, me, me, because you came from this culture of a lot of martyr bullshit and take care of everyone else. That's a writer, downer. Okay?
11:22
We learn together always.
11:26
So what is your favorite thing about your work? How did you even get into improv? Oh my gosh, that's like a whole show.
11:34
Long story short, I was an accounting major in college to please my father, because he thought, like becoming an accountant, you know, I would have a good life. He didn't. He didn't finish grade school, let alone go to high school or college. So, but I, but I'd always been artistically involved through my entire childhood and teen years and and I was, I was having a midlife crisis my freshman year of college. I'm like, my god, I can't do this. And I was like, so I started looking around for other you know, should I change colleges? Should I change vacations? And I met this guy at a vocational school who was the, you know, like the admissions counselor, but he was really a sales guy, and he shut the door and he's like, it was like a broadcasting school. He's like, he shut the door behind me. This is, like late 80s, and I'm like, What is going on? He's like, you don't want to go here. I was like, what? He's like, you don't want to go here. I'm like, but I just, I need a creative. I need a creative he's like, go take an improv class. I was like, what he's like, go to Second City and take an improv class. Now, growing up in Chicago, you know what Second City is? I I went, I saw shows as a teenager. I grew up with it and I but I guess I never made the connection. You could take classes. I'm like, oh, okay, so I went, I signed up for an improv class, and this was the summer before my sophomore year of college, and I was hooked immediately, absolutely, immediately hooked. Changed my major to journalism immediately, and then moved back home because I was going out. I was going out of this it was like 100 miles out of the city. Moved back home to change colleges, to be downtown, to really tap into what it was I wanted to do. And improv classes opened me up to like, I don't have to be an accountant. I can use my creativity in another way to actually have a career. And so that, that was the start of improv, and I did date that guy for a little while.
13:30
So, you know, full circle, there's a story, there's that, but he had your best interest at heart there, right? And his and his, you know,
13:41
that's so funny. Well, you are a funny lady. I want to know, then, what in a workplace setting? So you've been in a lot of different environments. What's the importance of humor in a workplace? You know, humor, and I was thinking about this, humor is really about laughing, in my opinion, and it's about laughability When you are an environment of laughability. And I just made that up today, by the way, just for you, when you're in that in writing it down, when I when you're in that environment, right? It just changes everything, right? It, it's more positive feeling. It, it knocks down barriers and walls. It, it cuts the tension that we're dealing with every day, of like, Let's laugh at this. And in comedy there, you know, there are a couple different rules to comedy, but one, especially in improv, a key to comedy and improv is there's two keys. We talk about, repetition and contrast. And repetition is, you know, like you're repeating something, and like, the third time it's funny, it's like when kids try to make you laugh and you're like, yeah, and they do it again, and you laugh again, repetition, repetition runs parallel to relatability, right? So when we experience things that other people experience, even when they're bad, we then, like, Misery loves company. We're like, how about that situation? On.
15:00
Now you're laughing at it, and it just creates a tighter bond, and it creates more rapport.
15:07
Well, speaking of then connecting, I want to segue into how you chose to show up on this call and what you want to connect with. You know, it's, how do I show up? Like, physically, yeah, oh yeah. Okay. So, like, okay, because I'm like, Oh, how am I dressing today with now? Like, what am I and so I'm like, Well, I'm gonna go with my brand colors, the Gina personal brand colors. I always want to go with something that shows a little bit of my personality and my brand and comfort, I must have comfort which we're going to get into your assessment results. But yes, so that was my that's usually my approach. Every day is a little bit different too, depending on who I'm serving and today, especially, I do. I do wardrobe changes throughout the day too, just for that, depending on my audience. And
16:12
after this, I've got to meet with my husband's doctor for something on Zoom. And then I have to do some sales training, different audience, different costume, and then I have to go to a networking event in person, which of them put back this costume? And that's I do it situationally. I know it sounds crazy, but that's what I do. No, that's why we're here. I mean, do you always when, when you're looking at your schedule and you see a lot of zoom calls, do you always put that thought into what you're going to do. Because I know all my friends say, oh, whenever I'm going to see Natalie, I just get this extra level of whatever I'm like. You guys know me. You guys know I literally just want you to show up as you So Natalie style podcast aside, when you have zoom meetings, do you always put that thought into it? Yeah, I always, I always show up, unless it's like a casual like the couple days goes getting together with a friend that I haven't talked to in a while, and she's a business colleague, and we just were kind of connecting, like catching up on what she's doing in her business, what I'm doing in mine, and she's a girlfriend, so I'm like, I literally said, Listen, I have no client facing meetings today, so there's No makeup, there is no hair, and I might look crazy and I'm in sweats, right? And so in those situations with my friends, I will show up that way.
17:31
But typically, whether it's a meeting, it's training, it's a podcast, there's always thought put into how am I going to show up? Always, there's a running joke, but I have with some other colleagues that do virtual training like me, we call it, oh my gosh, it's one of those days I don't have to do the back of my hair.
17:53
So that what that means is, because in my studio, I have a whiteboard, a digital whiteboard, and when I turn around to write on it. They see the back of my head, so I have to do the back of my hair. But then there are days where I'm just like, on Zoom, like this, although I do have training today, so the back of my hair is done, and so I do the back of my hair. So there's a lot of thought, even like, I'm like, Oh, should I shower tonight to wash my hair tonight, because my hair sets better when I go to bed wet and put it up in a ponytail, and the curls are better. And I'm training tomorrow. I should take a shower tonight. Yeah, I'll do that, because then I will, like, I literally do that thought process every night well, and I love that, because that's what I call and I spoke to your group about it, is that idea of dress for your day, of taking that extra time to look ahead, because it does set you up for success during the day. Because it's the worst to get up and be like, oh shoot, I have this. I didn't prepare, or I only thought of the first half of my day. I didn't think of the ramifications of how I prepared, or did not prepare, what they mean for the rest of the day, and so you doing that exercise has now become a part of you. So oh yeah, sounds like it becomes second nature. Oh yeah. And it's actually funny too with my husband, because last night, and he watches a lot of sports, I was wiped out a long day. I'm like, Hey, I'm gonna go take a shower and go to bed. He's like, you're taking a shower. What do you mean? You're taking a shower. When do you since? When you take showers at night? I go quite often. Maybe you haven't noticed, but based on my day tomorrow, I'm taking a shower tonight for the purpose of my hair.
19:34
It's all about the hair for the ladies, especially in your gym schedule, and the hair and the sweat and what a wash day is. And it's like a constant conversation I have with my girlfriends all the time before I just went on a trip. I was like, I did a full wash. I did the full stuff before the trip, so I don't have to wash it till I get back. Exactly. We know it's a strategy that we just start implementing, and we all get it.
19:59
We are.
20:00
Connected there. Now I want to talk next, then, about this idea of you think about your days you are someone that thinks about who you're going to be with, even whether it's zoom or not. And we've talked about the idea of how zoom changed so much. But I want to talk about a concept that I've just integrated, but had forgot that a lot of people don't know, and that's the idea of enclothed cognition. And it's that study that your mood is affected by what's on your body. How do you implement that? So this is something that we teach in sales training, especially. And this just became really, really prevalent right after covid, when we were teaching so much on virtual presentation and virtual selling skills, and we've all seen all the kind of funny jokes about, you know, people showing up in their underwear and a soup jacket, but the studies do show that your brain knows. Your brain knows if you're in yoga pants versus work pants. And so how I show I show up completely different in in the clothes that I'm wearing, especially from the bottom down, where you can't see me, because my brain, my brain will go into this kind of relaxed mode. If I'm in yoga pants versus I'm dressed for work, my brain's like, all right, business time. And that's even today, I had that thought of like, I'm gonna be virtual most of the day. But I put on what we call hard pants, hard because I was like, otherwise, I know that I may be more of my relaxed Natalie that's not as present, which I actually to that point and in cloth cognition. When I'm sitting and writing and doing creating, sometimes I want to be able to sit cross legged and take my shoes off and be in that space. But when I need to show up for others and be on magnetic feeling it, yeah, I totally I have hard pants on today, yeah. And there's also, I have to also draw a line too with whether I'm doing like a virtual training with 20 people or some of the clients that executive coach, some of the clients that executive coach, I do have yoga pants on and maybe what I'm wearing on top, because those sessions are very relaxed and chill, and they actually need me to show up relaxed and chill, because some of them are like, really, maybe high strung or high stressed. And so it's sort of like mama Gina comes out in those times, which is what they need. So I also look at, okay, who's on my calendar today. And I also calendar a lot of things, client, deliverables. I clump them too. I'm like, Okay, I'm going to do this is going to be a coaching day, and this is going to be a training day, and this is going to be a speaking day, and I will clump it that way too, so that how I'm dressing right. It's, don't think about it. I get this is what I'm wearing, because I do have costume changes throughout the day. Because, again, who am I? Who's my audience? And that's I'm constantly modifying that. Yeah, and you are definitely a special, a special use case in that, and literally, all of the different hats that you wear, I would say, for most of us, that is a good hack of you know, I do that today. I'm recording something that needs to go out to an audience. I had a few other things, and that's where I try to bake my days that I'm like, How are my clothes going to support my activities and my audience? 100 PM, exactly. And so I think that is really, truly, even the concept of, there's really no exception to include cognition, it's and the style personalities, it's, how do you want to show up authentically, and how do you need to relate to your audiences? Yeah, the one exception I do make within clothes cognition is when I'm in,
23:54
when I'm in the studio, I do not wear shoes. And technically I should be. Why should technically be wearing shoes. I mean, I think my I think based on that whole thing like, Oh, you're in shoes. You're ready to walk out and go to work. But let me tell you, when I'm in person with people, if I could get away with not wearing shoes, I would. I just feel like that's not an exception, because I think that is then inherent to your authenticity of saying, you know, take your shoes off, come in. We may have a formal environment. We may be getting shit done. And also, there's always that part of you that's going to do it with some humor, with, yeah, the approachability, so it feels like that's just okay. On the end, I can always find a way to give you a pass. Fantastic. No shoes. And
24:43
then let's talk about your makeup too, because we've used use makeup as a tool, and I know you do have some signatures,
24:51
shoes off as a signature. What's your makeup? Signature? Red lipstick, red nails. I mean, you even noticed last time I didn't have.
25:00
Red lipstick on and, like, a few, I think a few people that day, they're like, where's your red lipstick? I'm like, I was just trying something new. And they're like, how did that go?
25:10
I was like, hmm, okay, back to red. How did you find your signature red?
25:16
Lots of money,
25:19
lots of investment. You know, it just kept trial and error of trying different things. I do sometimes get sucked in to Instagram and tiktoks. There is a girl on Instagram, I think, who she's a flight attendant for Emirates, and she's got, like, this most amazing red. And I'm like, oh, and then she tells you what it is, and then I'll go buy it, and I'll try it. And that one was okay, but it didn't. So now I'm like, really, really specific, am I red?
25:54
So I mean, it's, it's Maybelline, it's Maybelline motivator, and it's it, the color is motivator. Go figure, right? That couldn't be more perfect. It was meant to be more Kismet. I was like, motivator, okay, I'll take it. And it's like, the stay on all day red. So even sometimes when I wake up in the morning, my husband's like, you still have lipstick on? I'm like, yeah, it's gonna be there for a while. You're like, I'm at the 50s housewife that woke up and put it on. It was just there, but I needed to stay all day because I'm I'm usually running. I'm going from meeting to meeting. I'm training. I'm like, I can't worry about reapplying. And so now that's my go to now I got a couple different shades I play with, um, if I go to church, I don't always wear this at church. So I've got a different shade
26:42
that makes sense the environment, right? And how it shows up on, you know, here it shows up so boldly on a virtual and things read differently too, based on screen, in person. And again, the environment too, but it's always, it's always having color on, you know. And I've had to do some coaching for women around appearance and stuff, not like you do, but I remember having someone get upset about, like, I don't want to wear makeup, and I'm like, I'm not telling you have to. I'm just like, become your hair,
27:16
right, right, right, put together, and you don't have to wear makeup. You got to do what's do you right? But me is always having color, yeah? Well, and I think that's an interesting thing for you. That's your tactic. Now, let's talk about how you coach people through, because you do hit on and close cognition and style. How do you use coach people through style for as a tool for sales success, yeah. So, you know, I've talked about this a lot so far, is who's your audience? So when I'm coaching people on that, like, Who are you, who are you selling to? And that's important. And your producer, Sean, is it? Yeah. So I noticed all the guitars in his background, and it actually made me and I was actually thinking about this story before I got on. But I had a male client that I was coaching, and he was new to sales, and he came from this, like rock and roll background. Even had a label, and he was going into sales, selling to the entertainment industry, like sound effects and stuff like that. And he's really struggling with then he was new to sales, and he was over learning, like he was like, reading every book, taking every class, and he was finding this, this disconnect. And we started talking about a couple different things, like the way he was dressed, and he was in this like, suit, and his background was boring. And I'm like, I go something just doesn't feel right, like something feels off with you.
28:50
And he's like, Well, it's like, I don't really normally dress this way. And I'm like, why are you because who you're selling to, you're selling to very artsy people, music people and film directors and and you come from that background. That's why you're in this job. I'm like, why are you not like dressing like you, which is them like you come from them, so dress like them. And I think you will be more yourself that way. And like, let's talk about your background. Like your background kind of sucks, like it's it's not you. And then the next time, the next call we got on his background was all guitars on the wall,
29:34
and he had completely changed the way he dressed. And I'm like, I'm like, this vibe feels so good. This is you. This is you. And, you know, I don't want to say that it was just that that did it, but it was a big part, I think, in why he became really successful in his job and in the company, and has said, has had several promotions since. So, you know, my coaching is usually like, what?
30:00
So what are you comfortable in? Like, comfortable, meaning, I feel comfortable showing up in this, even if I don't 100% love my body, right? So I look at, okay. What do you feel like? Makes you like, okay, yeah, I could wear that because something's got to work. I mean, not everything works for me. But now I got a couple signature things from like, oh, that works well on my body style. And then I buy like, 10 of them.
30:27
That's the classic style personality coming out well. And I do think it's so interesting to talk about that idea of connecting with your audience, but also you're talking about it, and it was almost like he was dressing up in a costume for the environment, versus discovering his signature style or his signature mark that he wanted to make to then connect with the audience. Because you know, when you're dressing up for someone and it doesn't feel authentic. So I would say it feels like it's worth exploring this idea of the Venn diagram of audience to be respectable and respectful to the audience, but then also, like, Who are you that then will connect you to the audience. And like, how did you find your signature style?
31:16
You know, I focus first on me versus my audience. You know, in the beginning, I focused on my my audience a lot, and I can't remember if I told you this story. I think I told you this story. I did
31:32
one of my first clients early, early on my the first, my first business, which was a television production company, marketing agency, and I had this big pitch to make, and I went and bought a suit, you know, and this jacket I was wearing was, like, one of those jackets we really don't wear anything underneath it. Or maybe I didn't know any better. And I got to the meeting.
31:55
I got to the meeting, and the top button popped off, and I had not small chested. And I was like, This is so embarrassing. And I just, I called it out in front of the prospect the client humor. They were going back to the humor aspect of using humor in a difficult situation. Yeah. I was like, Hey, I don't want you to think that this is a ploy to get your business. This just popped off
32:21
and I got the business, but I was so uncomfortable in that costume. I was so uncomfortable, meaning, like, it just didn't feel like me, but I was trying to, I was so focused on dressing for him. Like, what will he want me to be wearing? And that's important, and it's like this fine, delicate dance that you're doing, because you have to be you, and you have to know your audience, and you have to know when to ebb and flow with that. So I turned it around to what makes Gina feel good? What does Gina look good in? What is going to make Gina feel confident? I'm not a small woman, but I'm pretty comfortable in my skin, but it took me a long time to get there, so first I had to like, love myself. Step one, love myself. No matter what it is I'm wearing, however, I can wear things that are going to fit well on me, or accentuate certain parts, or de accentuate some parts, and be focused on that. But first I had to love myself before I could worry about my style, and then I had to find the style that made sense. And so for me, you know, I like to be a little bit fun, but I also do like to be casual, and I like to be a little bit classic, and so I'm a hot hodgepodge. Can't wait to hear my assessment, so I think it was just kind of ebb and flow. I mean, comfort is super important, especially because I travel, it's got to be easy for me to take out of my suitcase and not worry about ironing. I want to be approachable. And as much as I love someone like, oh gosh, that's a really great outfit, I'm like, would I be approachable in that so I take a lot of factors into consideration, and then I just started figuring out, I'm like, Okay, I look good in that kind of skirt, and I look good in that kind of blouse, and it makes me feel really good, because I feel like I look good. And then then that kind of slowly evolved into my style. And I think that's such a cool way of thinking about it, in that it's you now can say no more easily, because you started inward, and you can say, Okay, I know that.
34:34
I know that this may look good conceptually on something else, but you can start picturing yourself in it. And I think the more you understand yourself, you can actually visualize yourself in something, oh, I'm going to start scratching immediately. I'm going to just want to get that off of me, or I'm not going to be able to move. And saying, you know that approachable for you is that relaxed style personality that is saying I want people to I always say I want to be like a.
35:00
Hug that they want to come in. So I know certain things that I wear, I'm like, if I get too far in this one style personality, then I'm not going to accomplish my goals of who I am. And so I think that, I mean, for me, that's all of style comes from the inside out, because otherwise we're just paralyzed by choice, or we over connect with something else that doesn't actually connect with us. And I'm like, Well, this talker told me to do this, and this person told me once that, you know, even when we get to body, and I want to talk about that, of the idea of we all grew up with different ideas of what beauty is, and anybody that's imparting any of that, it's all based on their own relationship with their bodies. I mean, particularly women. And I hate the idea of you should dress a body this way. And we talked about it in your rock star group. That was somebody asked me the question about a chest, about Yeah, about how to dress a large chest, yeah. And my first question, if you'll remember, is, well, do you like to emphasize or de emphasize your chest? And there is no right or wrong answer. You have to know yourself. And we can use clothes as a tool. They're just clothes, but you have to understand your relationship with your body and how you want to present it to the world. Yeah. And I think to add to that too, because I know that person who asked asked that question, right? When we go again back to audience, the audience she is in, let's just say she loves her chest.
36:31
Um, maybe she's not gonna in that audience. It would put people off, and so ultimately, that will actually make her uncomfortable, right? So even for me, I I'm comfortable showing my cleavage, but only in certain situations, like I don't feel comfortable doing that in a client meeting, in a training on the weekend, I do maybe at a networking event, a live networking event, where I can let loose a little bit, which my husband really doesn't like, so I don't even show it that much anymore. He's like, where are you going with that? What is, what's going on? What is, what are you showing over there? So I think you also have to think about, are you comfortable in the environment, correct? Despite the fact that you're comfortable and, like, even what I'm wearing today, I've got something under this, because if I don't, my boobs are popping out, but I will take this off later
37:25
for whatever. And that's exactly that. That idea that we're talking about, too, is like it's your body. Your body is, is what it is. And I think it's that idea of self acceptance and getting there however you need to do it, because we all are on a different path. As we've said, we've got our own set of relationships with their bodies and influences on it, and no one can look at themselves subjectively. I always say that, but for clothing, it's the tool to accomplish your goals for yourself and to your point, in an audience of are you going to feel comfortable with a figure hugging skirt in a board meeting. Are you going to be fidgeting like again, thinking about yourself that inside out idea of, let me put myself in this setting and going back to the dress for your day. Let me literally think of myself working through my day in this like, how am I going to respond and how is my audience going to respond? Exactly? Well, then let's talk about, I would love to talk get your you like change blew my mind about the dreaded branded clothing then, so that sometimes we are forced to wear things right given to us. And I've gone through many a closet with a lot of men's wear polos and my women's wear clients that are ill fitting have some sort of logo on them, and they're like, I have to wear this. I feel terrible. Do you have what are your stories? What's your relationship to this? You know? And I almost wore one of my branded shirts today, and then I was like, um, because I'm going out after that, I'm like, like, I said, I have these debates with myself, but I when it comes to branded like, I obviously have to represent my brand. Um, have to. I want to, but I don't want to put it on the traditional clothing that a uniform place offers you. So I I will put my brand on clothes that are cute on me, that make me feel good. Um, I've got like, a favorite, you know, it's got like, these sleeves that are a little see through, and it's just cute, and I like it. And I will slap logos on clothes that fit me well? That make me feel good? I've put them on little like sports dresses before, so I'm going to a networking event where they're just like, you go to Costco and you buy them before the summer begins, and slap a logo. And my husband's a police officer at a university, and they've got, like, an embroidery shop. I just like, sent him to work.
40:00
With, like, three sweaters
40:02
to drop this off for me. And this is exactly where I went the logo, because my chest is, you know, and
40:08
so I'm, I'm all for, you know, if you're, if you have to wear branded, ask your employer if you don't work for yourself. Like, Hey, would you be cool with me putting this, you know, keep it in the company colors, but something that you know is more flattering and looks better, because, especially for women, when we get shoved into these male type God, if you give me one more male crew cut t shirt, no, I throw them all away. I will not wear them. I refuse. I think I told the story about my ex husband and working for him at a trade show, and he's like, you will wear this? And I'm like, No, I won't. Can I? Like, let's go back to this idea of unclothed cognition and telling me something, and do you want me to perform better? Exactly? And I think it also, you know, think about this, like, when you're a little unconventional, and we were like, Oh, right. Like, oh, look how cute she looks. Or looking in that, like, Where, where'd they get that from? Or even coworkers, I've had co workers say to me, like, oh my gosh, that is the cutest sweater with the logo on it. Where'd you get that? I'm like,
41:22
Rob
41:24
Amazon. I just took and I think that's such a good point too, where, when we have women and we are talking about it, and we all are laughing and rolling our eyes, going back to humor, it all comes full circle, but to then speak up and say, Hey, I don't these options don't work for me. They're not geared toward me. What can we do? And that could have a ripple effect. And imagine what could change then, in a work environment, to say, hey, a few of us got together and can we have permission to do this? And then maybe in the future, they'll get to weigh in and ask and say, Okay, what are some other options we can do instead of this standard, male dominated, male centric branding. Let's get with the 2000s and you know, let's think about weddings. Bridesmaids aren't all wearing the same dresses anymore, thank goodness, right? I mean, they're, they're in the same colors, but they are wearing dresses now for their body and for their style, and how cool is that? I think it's cool. And I think this is a space I'd never thought about. I hadn't even, I mean, in the work I do, I had you change blew my mind. Just tell people hey, just ask your employer. Like, just tell them I'm gonna go buy this in the color and and get the CO sign. And that could have a ripple effect too. Like, yeah, just takes one step and one ask and one question, one ask, and if they say no, then be like, Why?
42:49
Right? Like, what? Tell me more, why. Why is this? It's the underbelly of this answer. What's wrong with this, especially if you're willing to pay for it, I'm like, I'm gonna pay for it. I'm gonna pay for the the shirt, and you can embroider it, and I'm but I'm going to pay for it. You don't even have to buy it for me, right? I just feel like this is one of those small things. I got so excited when I heard this. It's like my brain, and it was such a, such a like, easy thing that I hope somebody listening is like, yeah, we can ask, and maybe we can. We can. It's like a small thing that style can do to change, start affecting a corporate culture truly. Yeah, and then, and then, if your people are, like, proudly wearing that logo because they feel really good in what they're wearing, then you win. As a company, everybody wins. No brainer. Everybody wins. All right, speaking of winning, I think we should talk about your assessment. Okay, you win. Everybody wins at the assessment. Everybody wins. So now that we what I like to do, I like to get this part toward the end when people have gotten a sense of you. So I first like to have people guess what, they think that they were Do you remember your results? You took it Okay, so I've got it pulled up, and you are. It's just really funny, because ours are very our top four are very similar, a slightly different spread. But I don't think this is going to shock you. You are highest in creative, followed very shortly by, like, one less relaxed and magnetic, and then soft, which is that warm hug of approachability. And then you're the lowest and classic and polished, which is like the super pragmatic. And so it's so interesting in your space, because the relaxed would be the shoes off the comfort, take it out of your suitcase and don't have to iron it. The magnetic is your bold is the your bold color, your brand choices are full magnetic. And then, of course, you're just naturally a creative you'll mix and match your creative solutions too. I think are just like, yes, insane. When I hear any, it's like gold to me.
45:00
Hear a Gina creative solution. I'm like, Cool, yeah, like the logo,
45:06
and then the soft is that support the approachability, the like you're a space, like when you talked about the room where, like, I should wear yoga pants, it's that awareness of humans and the empathy portion that then you are dressing also to make them feel comfortable when you need to, particularly, because you do work with women, right? And you're meeting them, feels like you're meeting them where they are, yeah? And even a lot of the men that I work with, right? Because, um, you know, there, I was actually surprised a couple years ago. I'm like, I have so many male clients too, and part of that, someone pointed it out to me, they're like, well, they feel safe with you. They feel safer with you than having a man as a coach, because you've got a little bit of a motherly quality, right? Because you're a woman, and they, they would rather come to you and be vulnerable with you than with a man. And I think that's a such an important point, too, and like the culture that we're in and the fact that
46:02
none of my style personalities are gendered, which I love, especially in this world, is that soft just means empathetic and open, yeah and safe and and so it's not gendered, but As we are in a world where I think masculinity is being challenged, toxic masculinity is being challenged, and you're being a bridge on the other way then of saying, okay, I can be. I have somebody, because your magnetic kind of balances that out too, because you're still strong, you're gonna tell like it is, but in a sense, that feels safe exactly. I just got a new client based on that too, and he's like, you know, I'm gonna need some pushing. I said, Oh, I'll push you. Don't Don't worry. You will get pushed. I mean. But I also asked my clients, like, how do you want to be coached? Do you want me to be hard on you? Do you want me to be soft on you? Do you want me to hold your hand? I don't do great with crying, but if you need to cry, let's do it, and then let's move on. You would not do well with me. Then,
47:09
well, no, I mean, if I know, if I know, right, if I know, but if you cry all the time, we probably should not work together, because I can't. It's like, okay, I cry too. And then we got to get back to work. Oh no, I just like, I'm sure I just let it happen when it comes, and then two minutes, like, 30 seconds later, I cry for happy, I cried for sad, I cried for it's just how my emotions come up. It's like, yeah, just so happy,
47:33
also known as menopause for me, yeah, fair. But I do love that you are meeting people where you they are, and because you're so high and in four of the style personalities, you flex them based on your yourself, your audience and the intent that you have. And that's such a powerful tool. And it's so cool to hear how you do that through this conversation journey, and through the work that you do, and all the different hats that you wear and the people you're around, and all those things like you're living and breathing, my methodology and style from the inside out and it couldn't be happier. I couldn't be happier. I'm like, a poster girl for you. You are. You literally are. I'm just gonna, like, here's Gita. She's my poster girl for for it all and actually utilizing it.
48:21
Now for fun, let's end with a little more fun then, speaking of the creative joy, let's do our 10 and two segment, 10 questions in two minutes. Okay, are you ready? Last time I did it, I skipped a question. We had to come in and edit it back so I am ready. Kelly holds me accountable for this one behind the scenes, right? All right. Question one, how do you define style, put together personality? Two, a trend you'd like to see disappear forever. This was a tough one. It's a combination of skinny jeans and white parties,
48:57
white clothing parties and, yeah, yeah, right. Well, there's a there's a double ontology, because I have a problem with it being called that, because they're called that. But white clothing parties and white clothes and white themes like clothing wise, like, yeah, no. Love it. Brilliant. Three things you can't live without. Red lipstick, red nails and a really good travel bag. Actually, several travel bags. I'm in a segue on what's your favorite travel bag.
49:29
There's not they're not brand names, but they are based on where am I going and how am I traveling. Because it ha, I do not like to carry a bag on my shoulder because that is not good anymore. So it's got to be a big enough bag that sits on my suitcase and it all rolls through the airport and I can fit one under and one over and meet all the airline rules. I mean, it is it. There's a system cool, several different bags. Love it. Current obsession,
49:56
my new lore, coffee maker, el.
50:00
Apostrophe or I am obsessed. I got introduced to it in Miami at a Renegades event in my hotel room, and I am obsessed with my entire coffee station I set up around it. I know what I'm doing after we get off this call your secret talent being okay with being unprepared.
50:22
That's a good one. We have to talk about that later. How do you relax? Really bad reality TV, specifically 90 day fiance and all of the shows associated with it. Love it a cause that's important to you, anything that empowers and helps women get on their feet, back on their feet. Confidence, any anything that empowers women to get out of bad situations or to make their lives better. Amen to that.
50:52
What you notice about someone when you first meet them.
50:56
You know, I was writing these down, and my first word was approachability, which is really based on smile and whether or not the home brace you, and then it led me to laugh ability that that actually is probably the first thing I noticed, is when people laugh or smile. That's the first thing I notice, like Buddy the Elf, I like smiling. It's my favorite.
51:17
What are you most excited about at this time in your life,
51:22
having as much free time as I can to be with my husband and my stepson, because I'm still kind of a newlywed and and I'm a new mom. I love that. What's your affirmation for today? It's none of your business. What other people think of you.
51:38
I needed that affirmation. Thank you. That was so fun. I love hearing that. And just as our wrap up, is there anything that we can offer our listeners who want to learn more? Where can they find you? Where can they connect? Where do you want them to go? To get best place to go, because there's a download, there is improvised intelligence.com and if you scroll down to the bottom of the bottom of the website, I don't got fancy landing pages and things like that, but you can actually put your email address in and download my improvised intelligence book of play, which is all kinds of improv exercises that you can use in business and how you can apply it, and that that's the site for my book coming out In 2025
52:21
we will link that in the show notes. We'll link it in all the promotional materials, so we can all stay connected and get really excited for your book launch when that comes as well. So excited about that you're the best. It was such a great time talking. We have more to connect on, and we will talk to you very soon. All right, thank you.
52:45
Oh, wasn't that fun? I love Gina. She makes me laugh, and talking with her makes my brain spin around in so many interesting, silly, thoughtful ways. She just gets people. She clearly loves people, and she's so comfortable with herself, I find that truly inspiring. This also feeds directly into a style from the inside out, virtual course that I'm offering starting on September 26 This is a 10 week course designed for women, where you'll learn exactly how to build confidence in the conference room by starting with confidence in your closet and as we learned in yourself first loving the alliterations here, speaking of words, I'm really proud of our bu style community and how this course, will also consciously build a network of professional women to lift each other up. I love connecting people. I love having these conversations around the implications of style in a workplace. So if this interests you, you can go online. Check it out@www.bu
53:41
dot bu dot style backslash. Course, we'll link it in the show notes. And over the next few weeks, I'm also going to be turning an eye toward the various Fashion Weeks happening internationally. So our next episode is going to have a little spin and go back to Fashion Week. We loved our last episode, insider episode last Fashion Week with Sadia, and we're going to offer another insider perspective on what it's like to be part of the Fashion Week world, an exciting and exclusive perspective we'll get here. So there's a lot happening in the where, who you are world, the BU style world and my world, and it wouldn't be complete, as always, without you. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, always, for being part of this community. We'll see you soon.
54:20
Thanks for joining another where who you are. Wednesday. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, post about it on social media or leave a rating and review. Be sure to follow along for episode news updates and other bonus style insights on Instagram, through My Business account at BU style, that's the letters B, u and style, or my personal account at Natalie underscore tincture, and don't forget to subscribe to where who you are, wherever you listen to your podcasts. Thanks again, and see you next time you.