Perfectly Unfinished Conversations | It's Good Enough, Let's Go!

Join Coach Jo and Coach Kim as they delve into the struggles and strategies for navigating life’s challenges. You’ll learn basic tips that make self-awareness, self-care, and embracing personal responsibility both possible and manageable. They stress the importance of taking control of one’s thoughts and beliefs to achieve personal transformation and create a fulfilling existence. 

Highlighting time management, consistency, and accountability, both Jo and Kim share their personal journeys, offering valuable insights into overcoming obstacles and evolving into a better version of oneself—You 2.0. Listeners will hear compelling stories of resilience and personal growth, including overcoming adversity and reflecting on past experiences to shape a more intentional future. 

The episode emphasizes the power of choice in personal development, encouraging individuals to set boundaries, manage time effectively, and visualize their goals to manifest positive outcomes. With a focus on radical responsibility and emotional adulthood, Jo and Kim underscore the importance of intentionality in achieving desired results. Tune in to learn how to embrace change and take actionable steps toward personal and professional success.


Resources discussed in this episode:

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Contact Joely Churchill and Kim Berube | Iron Lab: 
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Transcript

Coach Jo 00:09

Welcome to Perfectly Unfinished Conversations, the Iron Lab podcast with Coach Jo…

 

Coach Kim 00:14

…and Coach Kim…

 

Coach Jo 00:15

Where you ride shotgun with us as we have raw, real, unfiltered, and unfinished conversations about trying to eat, sleep, train, and live with some integrity in a messy, imperfect life.

 

Coach Kim 00:27

We're all about creating a strong support system, taking radical personal responsibility, having fun, and being authentic. And one of the most common themes you're going to find in this podcast is the idea that we create positive momentum in our life, by doing what we call b-minus work.

 

Coach Jo 00:45

We’re making gains and getting ahead and loving life without self-sabotaging our goals by striving for perfection. We get it done by moving ahead…

 

Coach Kim 00:55

…before we're ready…

 

Coach Jo 00:56

…when we aren't feeling like it…

 

 Coach Kim 00:58

…and without hesitation.

 

Coach Jo 01:00

Be sure to subscribe now on Apple or Spotify, so you don't miss a single episode. It’s good enough. Let's go. 


Coach Jo 01:10

Hello, and welcome back. 


Coach Kim 01:12

Hi! 


Coach Jo 01:13 

This is episode six.And we're going to be talking about choosing change. What's your next shift?

 

Coach Kim 01:20

So we're going to invite you to think back to a time in your life where you knew you needed to grow, or wanted to grow, you needed to become the next version of yourself. My life has been really long, I've had so many different versions of Kim-in-transition, in healing and in growth. And I, I feel pretty fortunate to have great clarity around this topic. I know that becoming the next version of yourself cannot happen without clarity, and conscious decision-making.

 

Coach Jo 01:55

Yeah, “You 2.0” is a term that we came up with to signify the decision to grow forward into the next version of ourselves. Many times, life feels dropped on us, things happen that we don't foresee or we didn't choose, trauma, loss, struggle, illness, and even grief.

 

Coach Kim 02:18

We are constantly evolving or changing in response to events and circumstances. And occasionally we discover that like waves on an ocean life just gently or violently keeps pushing us forward toward the next version of ourselves.

 

Coach Jo 02:35

While we can't choose the things that come our way, we can always choose who we will become and what we will do and what we will say and how and what we will think.

 

Coach Kim 02:47

Now, sometimes when life is pushing us forward, we one day wake up and realize we've become someone we don't really want to be. Maybe we are, we realize we're in a bad relationship or we're in the wrong job. Maybe we've neglected our body out of the desire for ease or comfort. Or we sacrifice what we really want in order to keep the peace.

 

Coach Jo 03:09

Yeah, maybe you've reached a new phase in your life where you feel yourself waking up, stomping your foot, and saying I'm not doing this anymore. Or maybe it's that slow burn a feeling that is building like something that isn't quite right inside. Something needs to change.

 

Coach Kim 03:30
So Elizabeth Gilbert has a great post from her book, Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear that says, “I've never seen any life transformation that didn't begin with the person in question finally, getting tired of their own bullshit.”

 

Coach Jo 03:47

The concept of “You 2.0” reminds us that we can take our power back at any time and consciously choose the path forward. Many of us mistakenly believe that it is what it is, or my whole family is this way or I don't deserve any better or I made my bed now I have to lie in it.

 

Coach Kim 04:08

And this is victim mentality, like the thought, What does it matter? or It's too late, or I quit,I give up it's too hard. I have no control is completely bullshit. These are beliefs and beliefs are just thoughts that we keep choosing to think on repeat. Andl although beliefs are messy and complicated, you can choose to think new things anytime you want.

 

Coach Jo 04:36

Creating the next version of you is about being able to see where you've been, see who you are right now, and then choose in advance what you're going to think and how you're going to feel and what we will do to become who we want to be in three months or six months or even two years from now.

 

Coach Kim 04:55

So, we want to start with some really kind of personal view, vulnerable reflection about past versions of ourselves. And this is like taking a look at who we have been at various times in our lives and who and what we have morphed into. I feel like I've always led a pretty public life. Like I always say, I'm an open book. And the podcast is just another variation of that, you know, and I actually just saw something on Instagram not very long ago that said, oversharing is an ADHD trait, or a trauma response. And I don't know that I've ever communicated my distaste for labels, example, ADHD, I find that I'm resistant to them. And I don't want to attach myself to any label, past, present or future. But if there was anybody who probably would have been labeled ADHD as a kid, it would have been me. So you know, past, present or future, I want to be able to be authentic, be real, and then show up and just be myself. So, I'm an oversharer. But you know, my life as a gym owner, kettlebell instructor, and primal health and life coach is the latest version of me in this lifetime. And it's honestly the one that I'm enjoying the most. But in order to become this version of who I am, today, I've had to grow through other seasons, or variations of myself and my life. And, and so you know, like, when I think back to graduating from high school, I studied music, I ended up in a relationship that wasn't great. I've always struggled with a personal like, and at times, severe anxiety and depression. I've been through self harming behaviors, self loathing, I've been in that emotional physical abuse relationships, I was unmarried, single mom of two, living on welfare. By the time I was 24 years old, I would have fallen into that classification or label of low income female experiencing domestic abuse, including the need for police intervention and restraining orders and emergency services and temporary homelessness, living in a women's shelter losing my home, experiencing true poverty, like this is past version of me. And then also on top of that, like the cumulative life results of those lifestyle choices, dysfunctional and destructive relationships and alcohol and drug use and, and disordered eating and laxative abuse, like these are all stages of my own growth. Physical illnesses, two autoimmune conditions, I've had sudden shock, trauma and loss of a parent and, and close family members. I've got two kids who have had really severe anxiety and mood issues, suicidal thoughts and behavior, really severe depression, and self harming behaviors. And those were hard years to grow through. And then I had my own health journey during those stressful years where I was making messy decisions out of ease and out of basically just trying to fucking cope with life, that we're creating a state of health for me that were positioning me for a pretty typical average health status, you know, pre diabetic, pre hypertensive, chronically sore over drinking over eating, overweight, being miserable in my body. 


Coach Kim 08:15

And I feel like that last one, where I've talked a lot about how I started my fitness and strength journey and about how that was, you know, because I have my pre diabetes diagnosis. And at the time, my daughter's really struggling with their mental health. But I don't want to attach to any of those versions, I feel really now no emotion about any stage of who I've been, unless the conversations go really, really deep. And you and I have had some of those personal conversations where I retell some of my stories, and shame can be real, but I am able to see my choices along the way to evolve. Even before I was conscious, I was choosing it like I mean, I was choosing, but I wasn't deep, aware of it, I was just fucking surviving. And so this idea of choosing who I'm going to create myself into consciously didn't come until much more recently, like even into, I would say, pretty much after I got fired from my last job, 2020-2021 that's when the light really went on. Like, you know what, I don't have to do any of this by default, I can actually decide in advance, I can get a grip on who I want to become, and then take the steps to get there.

 

Coach Jo 09:33

And I love that back history because the beauty of this podcast is that you guys get to learn so much about us behind doors, and we always say we are you and we plan to live authentically and tell you our struggles and who we are and where we've come from. And that's why I love this podcast so much because we're going to really dig deep into a lot of that but you know, this is going to be a hard conversation but it has been the foundation of my life that has been built up overmany, many years, the main event the catalyst, original catalyst, I could probably call it would be my parents divorced when I was in grade six. I mean, that shit just wrecked me. I felt like I didn't handle myself properly in emotional regulation, I was too loud and emotional, you know, for a family that wasn't well equipped to handle and have those hard conversations. And the roots of that event ran deep in my body for a long time, like the year after grade seven, I was heavily bullied. And I built armor off that year and became very, very self defensive. And sports really, truly was my saviour from a lot of the emotional turmoil I was facing, I could get out all of that frenetic energy on the court, or the field and I feel like I could breathe. So years later, I'm in my third year of college playing volleyball wanting to move up and challenge myself the next level I wanted to grow like further. But I reflect on those fourth and fifth year university levels out in Manitoba and I lacked the emotional regulation, the maturity, the patience, because I was still that little girl in a lot of ways.I needed attention. I just wanted someone to listen to me to love me and to take care of me. And ultimately, I was in a horrible, horrible fucking relationship where I didn't respect myself enough to stand up for myself set clear boundaries, all the while I'm like two provinces from home and I'm feeling super alone. And that was a time in my life where I should have excelled immensely, but I feel like I was a lost cause and that something was fucking wrong with me. I had a limiting belief that this was really as good as it was going to get. I had zero self esteem, and I faked it horrendously. And when I say I faked it, I mean, like I faked it to the point where I was overconfident and that that overconfidence lost me a lot of potential lifelong friendships out in Manitoba. And truly I look back and I'm like, Wow, what a fucking headcase you are Jolene. 


Coach Jo 11:49

So when I was finally done school finally done traveling and deciding to get a head start this life thing. I walked into the doors of you know, Fit Body Boot Camp in Lacombe and one of our friends Dee was coaching and she was warm, she was caring, and she remembered my name and I walked in the doors for workout number two. She's like, Hi, Jo, after like three classes, I was like, How the hell can I do this for the rest of my life, a job where I can love and I can help people. But the big thing was that required me to love and I needed to help myself, I can't help anyone else if my own backyard is looking like a fucking train wreck. I was the only person who could quit the blame game, blaming my parents for divorcing, blaming people who bullied me, blaming my coach, blaming my university BF, it all boiled down to me. And it was like, I need to own the fact that I and I alone was the person to forgive the past versions of myself, the little girl in grade six trying to figure it out, right? The girl who was bullied heard those words or weren't true, the university athlete who put her identity and every one and everything else around her, it was me who needed to be the priority, and the buck stop there. So I've been coaching for about 10 years now in central Alberta, and there's been so much growth in my leadership and maturity on my end, I would never want to go back to those versions of me because they hurt. They hurt so bad. But I can sit here and I can say that those earlier versions of me, they helped me. They shaped me, they moulded me to the current version that sits here today and speaks with you guys. Like my independence, my boundaries, my self worth, my truth, my path, my drive, my ability to go through all those hard things. And that I know, I got me.

 

Coach Kim 13:22

Absolutely, so I love that you speak specifically about what we both call radical responsibility, like true ownership, understanding that whatever you think, do, feel is on you, it's yours to own and that also I call emotional adulthood. Like you are truly an adult, where you are able to own all of the ways that you've participated in your life, and then claim responsibility for just like you said, cleaning up your backyard doing it differently. You know, and I love this concept for myself and getting coached on it has been life changing in so many powerful and profound ways. There has not been one downside to accepting responsibility for every result that I have created in my life. And I talk about this, like, in my relationships with people, I don't need them to do anything for me because I show up in a way that feels integral for me. I accept responsibility for the way I feel in my body, because this is not, I just come from a long line of big women, right? This is I get to choose how I'm showing up for me and what you're referencing, in your own story is the recognition that we can't always control what happens around us or you know, around you but you're not a victim to it. You're not stronger in blame and as a victim, you're stronger because you took your power back, and you decided how you would show up in your life?

 

Coach Jo 15:05

Yeah, another thing that we kind of were talking about was in regards to unintentional results versus intentional results. And most often, like when our life feels out of control, which is usually our schedule, our own habits, our eating our drinking, alcohol, regular, whatever you want to call it, our food. We are on that auto pilot, you know what I'm saying? Like, we're just going through life, letting momentum drive, while feeling powerless. 

 

Coach Kim 15:39

Yeah, so unintentional, versus intentional, meaning, you know, like, a lot of times when we're young, or when we're kind of immature emotionally, or when we're wrapped up in the past stuff that we've done, and we can't really move past it, or we can't see the possibility for what we want to do next, we end up with unintentional results. We're on autopilot, I think, you know, unintentional results are what we have as our reality, our job, our weight, our relationships, our stress, from that place of momentum, I'm just fucking winging it. I'm just surviving. And so this is what I get. Whereas intentional results come from the deeper understanding that I get to choose my actions, my thoughts, my feelings, they become my results. And this is the heart of law of attraction at work, this idea that thoughts become things, it's not that thoughts are magical and manifest good stuff, just like a puff of pixie dust, it's that thoughts, generate emotions or feelings that that lead us to either do what we need to do to get what we want, or that lead us further away from what we want. And so your thoughts and the quality of your thoughts is so important in determining who we want to be in the future. And it's not a genie and three wishes. It's consciously thinking, becoming aware of what we think about ourselves, our life, our circumstances, and then deciding what else to think what else to feel what else to do, that determines how I'm going to go forward. 


Coach Jo 17:14

Yeah, you have to make that decision. 100%


Coach Kim 17:16

Yeah, it's a choice. And you don't even, if you know, a lot of us haven't, a) there's like I think an old school of thought would be well, it just is what it is. You're just designed to be that way. It's just you come from this, this is our people, this is the way it's going to be you. There are no other options for you. And I think that we've moved past that in the evolution of people and understanding that understanding ourselves is that you actually do get to choose what it's going to look like for you. And yeah, there are still things that are going to happen around you or to you or through your but you still always have the power to choose how you will show up for you.

 

Coach Jo 17:58

Yeah, you got it's like standing in front of the mirror and deciding like you are so sick of your own bullshit.

 

Coach Kim 18:04

Absolutely. 

 

Coach Jo 18:05

If you have to look at yourself, it's like, there's that moment, it's the catalyst, it's the change, you have to want to rise from that and make that decision. But you know, we talked about values, I think before you can make any type of catalyst towards change, you have to understand your foundation of the house you're living in. And the foundation are your values, your morals, your integrity, what you believe in, and a lot of that has to come with conviction, you have to know what am I willing to do? What am I not willing to do? What is possible for me, but what is legitimately not possible for me right now, you know, like, someone who wants to move to Italy and spend the day you know, showing their bike ride and they're that one reel yet they have a mom and they're a mom and they got like a baby and a toddler that was like, it's probably not gonna legitimately happen right then. So what is possible for you right now, but what isn't?

 

Coach Kim 19:00

Yeah. And you know, that's actually a really good example because a lot of us, like, I think also one of the limiting things that happens when we know we want to uplevel who we are or make changes in our life, is that we go yup, and I love I love my, you know, I love my life, I love my home, I love my people, I love my relationships, I love, I love the way that it is right now. But you can love the way that it is right now. And know that there is something else out there for you, something like the next version of you. And this is just the evolution of, I believe, and everybody's entitled to their own belief, but I believe that that I am always going to be a learner and a grower and a mover and a shaker and a doer and and so although that idea may not be shared, I can love my life and the people in it and the things around me and still want more for myself? Yeah,

 

Coach Jo 20:04

like you are allowed to have both of those things. Yeah, I think your foundation and once you understand those values of what you can, what you cannot do or what you're willing to do or not willing to do, then you have to make that decision, though, too, is that when I become this next version of my life, will that change a little bit? Or will it remain the same? And will you accept either way?

 

Coach Kim 20:23

And those are choices too? You know, like, I have completely transformed who I am in the last 12 years. And my marriage has never been better. And my relationships have never been stronger. And so I guess there's that whole, I think there is a natural fear for people of going like, I want I know, I want to change, but I'm scared that nobody else will accept it or what? 


Coach Jo 20:48

So that's a limiting belief, right? 


Coach Kim 20:49

Yeah. Well, and and sometimes the people around you don't want you to change, but this is your life, and you get to change. And I think that's the other thing that I've realized along the way is that I can change all kinds of things. And at the heart of me still be the person that they love, count on. My values are still the same. 

 

Coach Kim 21:13

Yeah, but the the value system has also changed, say, 20 years ago, your value system on health was a lot different than it was right?

 

Coach Jo 21:19

Yeah, well, and my and my value system, like it was not even my value system, on health, but like, what I believed I deserved, like, Do you know what I mean? Like, your beliefs are part of that value system.

 

Coach Jo 21:34

Yeah, I agree. Yeah. So like, how do you move forward? Once you have that moment, where you do look in the mirror and you decide like the buck stops here? Well, then what? How do you move forward? And besides that question above, once you have clarity that something's gotta give, and you need to make a switch for yourself, the first thing to do is really, you got to take action, in whatever capacity that may be, there is no magic order of importance of what should come first, before you take your big action, you just need to start to move towards the direction of the person that you want to become

 

Coach Kim 22:12

right. And when Jo says, besides, how do you move forward? Besides the questions above, she's talking about the questions that she said regarding values, you know, like, what am I willing to do? What am I absolutely not willing to do? What's possible for me and what is truly not possible for me right now, it's just not in the cards. And when it comes to action, taking action, there is a huge difference between passive action and massive action, like passive action. A lot of us do we know we want to change. And so we listen to podcasts. And we read a book and we talk about it…

 

Coach Jo 22:48

And we put the post-its on our mirror in the bathroom. I will start tomorrow, which is good, in theory. 

 

Coach Kim 22:50

Yeah, totally. But then there's massive action and massive action is when you just… you're doing it, you're doing whatever it takes, until you get where you want to go. And it could be one thing a day, it could be three things a day, it could be limping along, trying to figure out what those things are, but you're taking behaviour actions that are generating new results, a new version of who you are. And there's nothing wrong with the old version. You know, what the way I started this, where I was talking about the different versions of who I've been in my life. That woman was loved, and I and I'm grateful to her and she was always supported. And she had a mom who loved her and she had a man that thought she was great, you know, as she evolved, she was a decent enough mother, but there's nothing wrong with her. And I wanted more, better , different. I wanted the next version I wanted to experience and when you talked about the buck stops here, it was like I just was done fucking loathing myself. 

 

Coach Jo 24:04

That's pretty heavy. Because that is the moment that's the catalyst for change.

 

Coach Kim 24:09

Mm hmm.

 

Coach Jo 24:10

You're just done. You realize like I have spent how many decades hating this body like you said that 14 year old standing in front of the mirror? Christmas dinner? Yeah. Like you have to make that change. And it starts from healing within.


Coach Kim 24:23

Totally and not just the physical state, like loathing, my over emotionality or my inability to focus or how I would. Yeah, whatever, all Hotaling things and it doesn't even have to come from a place of loathing. You can just, there's lots of I've never been a have never had a better relationship with myself. And I still go, Am I satisfied with the way this is? Or how could I love and take care of myself better? Or how can I choose how to show up in the next version of me? Just because I fucking want to. Like there's nothing wrong with that. 

 

Coach Jo 25:00

I agree there is nothing wrong with that. Kim and I have a couple cheat codes that we want to share with you guys some strategy on you know how you can use that catalyst. And then take that next step, that action. What is that action?,

 

Coach Kim 25:15

Yeah, because like Jo said, it's not just post-it notes on your mirror. That is a great support tool, but it's not going to take you where you want to go home.

 

Coach Jo 25:24

Yeah, it's a way to incite motivation is what it is. But remember, motivation is just a feeling. It's the discipline, it's doing the fucking work that's going to get you what you want. And you gotta decide enough is enough. 

 

Coach Kim 25:38

And that's where strategy is what has to come next. And we talk about it as cheat codes. Because it's like, the keys to winning, it's the keys to accomplishing all the things that you say, you don't have time for or don't want or can't possibly do, or can't fit in or don't deserve or don't, right? Like the strategy. This is the beautiful thing about strategy is it's neutral, it doesn't care how you fucking feel. Because it works. It works. 

 

Coach Jo 26:06

I love that. I love that. It doesn't, because it doesn't care or you fucking feel

 

Coach Kim 26:11

No, it doesn't. And so the first one would be, what?   


Coach Jo 26:15

It'd be boundaries. I think boundaries are huge. And it's you're noticing your own self worth boundaries. Like we talked about social media boundaries with people who aren't making you feel good or won't help lead you towards your goals, you know, boundaries in with your time management, making sure you say no to things instead of saying yes to things. Like once you have boundaries in place, you're setting your arena up for the proper structure for you to step into it. And then feel more successful when you lock the door behind you. 

 

Coach Kim 26:45

Yeah, I love that. So that's one of them. The second one, the one that has been life fucking changing for me is time management and time management in a way that I always used to be like, but I'm a spontaneous person at heart. I don't like having my life scheduled away because it means there's not enough flex time and then not enough free time. And what I have discovered in practicing actual time management and time blocking specifically, is that I have become a fucking production machine and, and production machine with a shit ton of free time. You know, like, what, because what I'm doing is I'm creating an environment where I show up to get things done, whether I feel like it or not, which we're gonna get to again, and when it's done, I move on to the next thing. There's no overthinking it. I'm not listening to my brain say do I feel like it? Do I not feel like it. I'm just showing up doing what's on the schedule, and fucking getting it done.

 

Coach Jo 27:43

Yeah, totally. I have noticed a huge shift to like, you and I are both very, very good at our time blocking and making sure things are getting done. Almost to the point that this summer we're like, oh, what are we supposed to be doing? Am I, do, should I leave? Like, am I good, can I leave the gym? 

 

Coach Kim 28:01

I don’t have anything on my schedule right now? What is so weird what's going on? Totally.

 

Coach Jo 28:05

Another one is visualization. Like what stories are you putting in your brain Kim touch base on I come from a long line of big women. So I'm just another one of those big women.

 

Coach Kim 28:16

Like what are you telling yourself? And how do you see yourself? 

 

Coach Jo 28:20

Yeah, what you put in your brain you guys, you become. That's what you become.


Coach Kim 28:22

100%


Coach Jo 28:23

You are saying like, I hate my body. I'll never wear that outfit because I just don't look good in it. And oh, here's that event. I'll never wear that dress. Why would I go out?

 

Coach Kim 28:33

Or I hate the gym. I don't want to work out. Yeah, I hate to move. I hate to walk. I hate lettuce. I don't eat meat. Like all, no it doesn't have to be meat. You know, I like but I'm just saying like, whatever you tell yourself. Whatever your brain comes up with is the way that you see your life unfolding. It becomes that is the thought becomes things right there. 

 

Coach Jo 28:54

Yeah. So if you visualize positive things in your brain, like you visualize yourself doing the work you visualize yourself getting to the gym and finishing that workout. If you visualize drinking all your water in a day and high fiving yourself in front of the mirror like you have to visualize that you're doing the stuff. 


Coac Kim 29:10

Well, yes, and…


Coach Jo 29:11

Hold on. We're visualizing, we visualize we were gonna do a fucking podcast. Yeah. And now here we are on Episode Six. You got to visualize it and know that you can do it.

 

Coach Kim 29:22

Well, and we didn't know that we could do it. We just could see it like taking the next step. Yeah. And you know, I think a lot of times, especially when it comes because we're in fitness and health and body transformation and health transformation. You know, I think a lot of times, it is very challenging for people to see themselves physically in a different way. Like if I told you to visualize yourself in 10 years, can you see yourself in 10 years how your body will change how your face will change? It's very, very challenging. So for somebody who's got 40 or 50 or 60 pounds to lose, it is practically impossible to see themselves thin in their brain or slimmer, or leaner or stronger. And so it's much easier to visualize yourself doing the things that will get you that result. I see myself making my meals, I see myself going to bed, I see myself drinking my water, I see myself at the gym, going through the motions, right? And then that is be what becomes the foundation for the actions you need to take to become the next version of yourself.

 

Coach jo 30:29

Lead that into Kim deciding ahead of time.

 

Coach Kim 30:32

This is my fucking favorite, I'm going to tell you, this has been another life shift for me is deciding ahead of time, most of us I think what happens in a lot of ways is we run out of steam in the course of our day, we have good intentions, we want to change, we want to do something better, we want to show up in a different way. And then we get worn down by the bullshit of the day. And we give up at about 4pm This is like normal. It is decision fatigue ear, there's only so much willpower. There's only so much sheer, like I can do it before your body just goes Yeah, fuck it, I don't care, you know. And so deciding ahead of time for me has become a staple in, and I always give the example of workout. There is no part of me that feels like working out today. And it's already fucking done. Because I decided ahead of time that I was going to walk, that I was going to eat my salad, that I was going to, and I just I chose I didn't leave it up to whim. I didn't leave it up to if I have enough time. I didn't leave it up to if I feel like it. It's done. I fucking decided. And then I set up the prep to do it. And then I just follow through even when my brain is going, maybe not. Maybe there's potato chips in the cupboard. I could rather I'll just do it tomorrow. You know, like, I'm just fuckin doing it. And it's because I chose it in advance.

 

Coach Jo 31:54

Yeah, and that really does correlate to the last one following through when you don't feel like it. There wasn't one ounce of motivation in my bone marrow before we started that noon class today, Kim and I made a plan to work out together at noon by the way we don't get it that often. And when we do we pretty much cherish it but I was yawning in the warm up. I had no sleep last night like, I, had i didn't not want to do and I remember thinking, I have to do this another four fucking rounds. Like I'm a coach. I'm a part owner in the gym. And I still think the exact same thing as everybody else. I don't want to, the weights felt heavy today, like I just did not want to get through with it. And then like Kim said before you know it all of a sudden, it's done. No, I don't feel like cleaning my beets from the garden and knowing how fucking long they take to cook in order to eat a good fiber rich, nutrient dense vegetable. But I go to the garden. And here I am until 9:30 Last night just making sure I have that prepped, right I did not want to do that. I enjoyed being in my garden. But sometimes I'm like, oh, fuck, I gotta can and prep this shit in a couple months like that scare me. 

 

Coach Kim 33:03

And for you, you didn't feel like being in the garden. But I was just sitting with you before we started recording the podcast while you eat your lunch. And you were like, oh my god, that is so amazing.

 

33:14

Fresh beats out of the garden. I'm telling you that's like cocaine to me.

 

Coach Kim 33:17

And the payoff is amazing, right? And the payoff is always amazing. That's the fucking thing is that if you can just get yourself to follow through despite how you feel. The payoff is what is the like nugget of dopamine, really. 


Coach Jo 33:33

Those are the big wins the consistency. Yeah, this is so passionate. 


Coach Kim 33:36

You can tell you can tell this is passionate.  


Coach Jo 33:41

This is so passionate to us, you guys, because we are passionate about this. Because you can become any version of yourself that you want. That is actually true. People lose sight of that.

 

Coach Kim 33:56

Yeah, I think that's so cool. Like, and you know, I would say that there was a time in my life where somebody would say you could become anything you want to be. And I'd be like, No, I can't, you're wrong. That's yeah, it's not possible for me. And Jo, and I, you know, we kind of hashed this out when we talked about what, how we're going to approach the episode and what we want to cover. One of the things I said is that there has been times in my life where I'm like, Yeah, sure, you can do it because you're an anomaly because you're an athlete, because you're already tall and lean, because you're already you've got that, like, you've got that belief in yourself. Like I would have come up with all these reasons why it was possible for you, but not for me. And I think that that is probably more common, that because I would say people do it on social media. You look at somebody else and go, Oh, wow, they have a magical life, but that's because they're them. You know, like you can choose who you want to be how you you show up what you do, how you think, what actions you take, you can choose anything and follow through and do it doesn't mean you're going to become overnight something, no. Because the people who become that usually are working at it for 5, 10, 15, 20 years. How many times have you seen a success story where like, you know, they're like, I've been, I've been posting on my social media for 12 years, before I made a six figure salary in a year, like, those are people who are just fucking committed to it, and know that they have a vision in their head, you know, so this comes to like expectations and, and making sure that we know how we want to feel how we want to show up, and then you release the expectations about any kind of a fucking timeline, and you just do the work to become the version of yourself, that then opens up to that release

 

Coach Jo 35:56

Release the expectations of the timeline. Yeah, that right there. Yeah, that's what it is. So make sure to hop on to our email list as we will be promoting our You 2.0 Retreat, where you will be able to walk through this process in detail with us having a coach in real time, it helps you process your limiting beliefs, your excuses, and getting clear about choosing the next version of yourself and how to get there, and how to actually make it happen. The cheat codes for how we get all this shit done.

 

Coach Kim 36:27

Yeah, like, essentially, you know, this whole podcast is how we came up with this idea, this phrase of You 2.0, you know, and the Cheat Codes of Possibility is that, that we're talking about all of these things, we're walking through the steps, so that people can basically access all the things that we know and have done and have tried and dig deep and get the clarity, get the awareness of what you want. And it's like time away from your real life. The whole 2.0 Retreat is about time away from your real life, no distractions, no people, no pull, where you can tune in to yourself, and, and really gain some clarity as to what you want, how you can get there, and then get the strategy in place. The whole point of this retreat is that you're going to walk away with a plan, you have zero distractions, you have got all this internal focus time, this opportunity for clarity with Jo and I, October 5th and 6th, and we're going to help you create the next evolution of you.


Coach Jo 37:36

Now we hope you can make it. Thanks for listening and tuning in. 


Coach Kim 37:37

Okay, see you next time. Bye bye. 


 

Coach Jo 37:38


You probably got a sense of who we are by now and what our personal approach is to developing a lifestyle that creates really great health and strength. Using a relational common sense coaching approach that is backed by knowledge and personal experience


Coach Kim 37:57


There are a couple of ways that you can work with Jo or I, one on one, remote or you can actually train here at Iron Lab. 

 

Coach Jo 38:05


The first is the Metabolic Blueprint, personalized coaching program, which is customized for your life and your body. 


Coach Kim 38:13


We work together very closely either in person or remotely to help you conquer old diet drama and to get lasting results. 


Coach Jo 38:21


Ideally, we'd love to teach you how to never buy a quick-fix diet program or app again. 


Coach Kim 38:27


Next, there is the accelerator academy, which is up to 12 months of self-paced weekly bite-sized lessons and journaling exercises, that we’ve created to help you create the lifestyle habits that generate a true transformation. 


Coach Jo 38:42


Find out more on our website: ironlablacombe.com/metabolic-blueprint


What is Perfectly Unfinished Conversations | It's Good Enough, Let's Go!?

The Iron Lab Podcast: raw, real, unfiltered, unfinished conversations about trying to EAT, SLEEP, TRAIN and LIVE a messy, imperfect life. Support, accountability, fun and authenticity.

Coach Jo 00:09
Welcome to Perfectly Unfinished Conversations, the Iron Lab podcast with Coach Jo…

Coach Kim 00:14
…and Coach Kim…

Coach Jo 00:15
Where you ride shotgun with us as we have raw, real, unfiltered, and unfinished conversations about trying to eat, sleep, train, and live with some integrity in a messy, imperfect life.

Coach Kim 00:27
We're all about creating a strong support system, taking radical personal responsibility, having fun, and being authentic. And one of the most common themes you're going to find in this podcast is the idea that we create positive momentum in our life, by doing what we call b-minus work.

Coach Jo 00:45
We’re making gains and getting ahead and loving life without self-sabotaging our goals by striving for perfection. We get it done by moving ahead…

Coach Kim 00:55
…before we're ready…

Coach Jo 00:56
…when we aren't feeling like it…

Coach Kim 00:58
…and without hesitation.

Coach Jo 01:00
Be sure to subscribe now on Apple or Spotify, so you don't miss a single episode. It’s good enough. Let's go.

Coach Jo 01:10
Hello, and welcome back.

Coach Kim 01:12
Hi!

Coach Jo 01:13
This is episode six.And we're going to be talking about choosing change. What's your next shift?

Coach Kim 01:20
So we're going to invite you to think back to a time in your life where you knew you needed to grow, or wanted to grow, you needed to become the next version of yourself. My life has been really long, I've had so many different versions of Kim-in-transition, in healing and in growth. And I, I feel pretty fortunate to have great clarity around this topic. I know that becoming the next version of yourself cannot happen without clarity, and conscious decision-making.

Coach Jo 01:55
Yeah, “You 2.0” is a term that we came up with to signify the decision to grow forward into the next version of ourselves. Many times, life feels dropped on us, things happen that we don't foresee or we didn't choose, trauma, loss, struggle, illness, and even grief.

Coach Kim 02:18
We are constantly evolving or changing in response to events and circumstances. And occasionally we discover that like waves on an ocean life just gently or violently keeps pushing us forward toward the next version of ourselves.

Coach Jo 02:35
While we can't choose the things that come our way, we can always choose who we will become and what we will do and what we will say and how and what we will think.

Coach Kim 02:47
Now, sometimes when life is pushing us forward, we one day wake up and realize we've become someone we don't really want to be. Maybe we are, we realize we're in a bad relationship or we're in the wrong job. Maybe we've neglected our body out of the desire for ease or comfort. Or we sacrifice what we really want in order to keep the peace.

Coach Jo 03:09
Yeah, maybe you've reached a new phase in your life where you feel yourself waking up, stomping your foot, and saying I'm not doing this anymore. Or maybe it's that slow burn a feeling that is building like something that isn't quite right inside. Something needs to change.

Coach Kim 03:30
So Elizabeth Gilbert has a great post from her book, Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear that says, “I've never seen any life transformation that didn't begin with the person in question finally, getting tired of their own bullshit.”

Coach Jo 03:47
The concept of “You 2.0” reminds us that we can take our power back at any time and consciously choose the path forward. Many of us mistakenly believe that it is what it is, or my whole family is this way or I don't deserve any better or I made my bed now I have to lie in it.

Coach Kim 04:08
And this is victim mentality, like the thought, What does it matter? or It's too late, or I quit,I give up it's too hard. I have no control is completely bullshit. These are beliefs and beliefs are just thoughts that we keep choosing to think on repeat. Andl although beliefs are messy and complicated, you can choose to think new things anytime you want.

Coach Jo 04:36
Creating the next version of you is about being able to see where you've been, see who you are right now, and then choose in advance what you're going to think and how you're going to feel and what we will do to become who we want to be in three months or six months or even two years from now.

Coach Kim 04:55
So, we want to start with some really kind of personal view, vulnerable reflection about past versions of ourselves. And this is like taking a look at who we have been at various times in our lives and who and what we have morphed into. I feel like I've always led a pretty public life. Like I always say, I'm an open book. And the podcast is just another variation of that, you know, and I actually just saw something on Instagram not very long ago that said, oversharing is an ADHD trait, or a trauma response. And I don't know that I've ever communicated my distaste for labels, example, ADHD, I find that I'm resistant to them. And I don't want to attach myself to any label, past, present or future. But if there was anybody who probably would have been labeled ADHD as a kid, it would have been me. So you know, past, present or future, I want to be able to be authentic, be real, and then show up and just be myself. So, I'm an oversharer. But you know, my life as a gym owner, kettlebell instructor, and primal health and life coach is the latest version of me in this lifetime. And it's honestly the one that I'm enjoying the most. But in order to become this version of who I am, today, I've had to grow through other seasons, or variations of myself and my life. And, and so you know, like, when I think back to graduating from high school, I studied music, I ended up in a relationship that wasn't great. I've always struggled with a personal like, and at times, severe anxiety and depression. I've been through self harming behaviors, self loathing, I've been in that emotional physical abuse relationships, I was unmarried, single mom of two, living on welfare. By the time I was 24 years old, I would have fallen into that classification or label of low income female experiencing domestic abuse, including the need for police intervention and restraining orders and emergency services and temporary homelessness, living in a women's shelter losing my home, experiencing true poverty, like this is past version of me. And then also on top of that, like the cumulative life results of those lifestyle choices, dysfunctional and destructive relationships and alcohol and drug use and, and disordered eating and laxative abuse, like these are all stages of my own growth. Physical illnesses, two autoimmune conditions, I've had sudden shock, trauma and loss of a parent and, and close family members. I've got two kids who have had really severe anxiety and mood issues, suicidal thoughts and behavior, really severe depression, and self harming behaviors. And those were hard years to grow through. And then I had my own health journey during those stressful years where I was making messy decisions out of ease and out of basically just trying to fucking cope with life, that we're creating a state of health for me that were positioning me for a pretty typical average health status, you know, pre diabetic, pre hypertensive, chronically sore over drinking over eating, overweight, being miserable in my body.

Coach Kim 08:15
And I feel like that last one, where I've talked a lot about how I started my fitness and strength journey and about how that was, you know, because I have my pre diabetes diagnosis. And at the time, my daughter's really struggling with their mental health. But I don't want to attach to any of those versions, I feel really now no emotion about any stage of who I've been, unless the conversations go really, really deep. And you and I have had some of those personal conversations where I retell some of my stories, and shame can be real, but I am able to see my choices along the way to evolve. Even before I was conscious, I was choosing it like I mean, I was choosing, but I wasn't deep, aware of it, I was just fucking surviving. And so this idea of choosing who I'm going to create myself into consciously didn't come until much more recently, like even into, I would say, pretty much after I got fired from my last job, 2020-2021 that's when the light really went on. Like, you know what, I don't have to do any of this by default, I can actually decide in advance, I can get a grip on who I want to become, and then take the steps to get there.

Coach Jo 09:33
And I love that back history because the beauty of this podcast is that you guys get to learn so much about us behind doors, and we always say we are you and we plan to live authentically and tell you our struggles and who we are and where we've come from. And that's why I love this podcast so much because we're going to really dig deep into a lot of that but you know, this is going to be a hard conversation but it has been the foundation of my life that has been built up overmany, many years, the main event the catalyst, original catalyst, I could probably call it would be my parents divorced when I was in grade six. I mean, that shit just wrecked me. I felt like I didn't handle myself properly in emotional regulation, I was too loud and emotional, you know, for a family that wasn't well equipped to handle and have those hard conversations. And the roots of that event ran deep in my body for a long time, like the year after grade seven, I was heavily bullied. And I built armor off that year and became very, very self defensive. And sports really, truly was my saviour from a lot of the emotional turmoil I was facing, I could get out all of that frenetic energy on the court, or the field and I feel like I could breathe. So years later, I'm in my third year of college playing volleyball wanting to move up and challenge myself the next level I wanted to grow like further. But I reflect on those fourth and fifth year university levels out in Manitoba and I lacked the emotional regulation, the maturity, the patience, because I was still that little girl in a lot of ways.I needed attention. I just wanted someone to listen to me to love me and to take care of me. And ultimately, I was in a horrible, horrible fucking relationship where I didn't respect myself enough to stand up for myself set clear boundaries, all the while I'm like two provinces from home and I'm feeling super alone. And that was a time in my life where I should have excelled immensely, but I feel like I was a lost cause and that something was fucking wrong with me. I had a limiting belief that this was really as good as it was going to get. I had zero self esteem, and I faked it horrendously. And when I say I faked it, I mean, like I faked it to the point where I was overconfident and that that overconfidence lost me a lot of potential lifelong friendships out in Manitoba. And truly I look back and I'm like, Wow, what a fucking headcase you are Jolene.

Coach Jo 11:49
So when I was finally done school finally done traveling and deciding to get a head start this life thing. I walked into the doors of you know, Fit Body Boot Camp in Lacombe and one of our friends Dee was coaching and she was warm, she was caring, and she remembered my name and I walked in the doors for workout number two. She's like, Hi, Jo, after like three classes, I was like, How the hell can I do this for the rest of my life, a job where I can love and I can help people. But the big thing was that required me to love and I needed to help myself, I can't help anyone else if my own backyard is looking like a fucking train wreck. I was the only person who could quit the blame game, blaming my parents for divorcing, blaming people who bullied me, blaming my coach, blaming my university BF, it all boiled down to me. And it was like, I need to own the fact that I and I alone was the person to forgive the past versions of myself, the little girl in grade six trying to figure it out, right? The girl who was bullied heard those words or weren't true, the university athlete who put her identity and every one and everything else around her, it was me who needed to be the priority, and the buck stop there. So I've been coaching for about 10 years now in central Alberta, and there's been so much growth in my leadership and maturity on my end, I would never want to go back to those versions of me because they hurt. They hurt so bad. But I can sit here and I can say that those earlier versions of me, they helped me. They shaped me, they moulded me to the current version that sits here today and speaks with you guys. Like my independence, my boundaries, my self worth, my truth, my path, my drive, my ability to go through all those hard things. And that I know, I got me.

Coach Kim 13:22
Absolutely, so I love that you speak specifically about what we both call radical responsibility, like true ownership, understanding that whatever you think, do, feel is on you, it's yours to own and that also I call emotional adulthood. Like you are truly an adult, where you are able to own all of the ways that you've participated in your life, and then claim responsibility for just like you said, cleaning up your backyard doing it differently. You know, and I love this concept for myself and getting coached on it has been life changing in so many powerful and profound ways. There has not been one downside to accepting responsibility for every result that I have created in my life. And I talk about this, like, in my relationships with people, I don't need them to do anything for me because I show up in a way that feels integral for me. I accept responsibility for the way I feel in my body, because this is not, I just come from a long line of big women, right? This is I get to choose how I'm showing up for me and what you're referencing, in your own story is the recognition that we can't always control what happens around us or you know, around you but you're not a victim to it. You're not stronger in blame and as a victim, you're stronger because you took your power back, and you decided how you would show up in your life?

Coach Jo 15:05
Yeah, another thing that we kind of were talking about was in regards to unintentional results versus intentional results. And most often, like when our life feels out of control, which is usually our schedule, our own habits, our eating our drinking, alcohol, regular, whatever you want to call it, our food. We are on that auto pilot, you know what I'm saying? Like, we're just going through life, letting momentum drive, while feeling powerless.

Coach Kim 15:39
Yeah, so unintentional, versus intentional, meaning, you know, like, a lot of times when we're young, or when we're kind of immature emotionally, or when we're wrapped up in the past stuff that we've done, and we can't really move past it, or we can't see the possibility for what we want to do next, we end up with unintentional results. We're on autopilot, I think, you know, unintentional results are what we have as our reality, our job, our weight, our relationships, our stress, from that place of momentum, I'm just fucking winging it. I'm just surviving. And so this is what I get. Whereas intentional results come from the deeper understanding that I get to choose my actions, my thoughts, my feelings, they become my results. And this is the heart of law of attraction at work, this idea that thoughts become things, it's not that thoughts are magical and manifest good stuff, just like a puff of pixie dust, it's that thoughts, generate emotions or feelings that that lead us to either do what we need to do to get what we want, or that lead us further away from what we want. And so your thoughts and the quality of your thoughts is so important in determining who we want to be in the future. And it's not a genie and three wishes. It's consciously thinking, becoming aware of what we think about ourselves, our life, our circumstances, and then deciding what else to think what else to feel what else to do, that determines how I'm going to go forward.

Coach Jo 17:14
Yeah, you have to make that decision. 100%

Coach Kim 17:16
Yeah, it's a choice. And you don't even, if you know, a lot of us haven't, a) there's like I think an old school of thought would be well, it just is what it is. You're just designed to be that way. It's just you come from this, this is our people, this is the way it's going to be you. There are no other options for you. And I think that we've moved past that in the evolution of people and understanding that understanding ourselves is that you actually do get to choose what it's going to look like for you. And yeah, there are still things that are going to happen around you or to you or through your but you still always have the power to choose how you will show up for you.

Coach Jo 17:58
Yeah, you got it's like standing in front of the mirror and deciding like you are so sick of your own bullshit.

Coach Kim 18:04
Absolutely.

Coach Jo 18:05
If you have to look at yourself, it's like, there's that moment, it's the catalyst, it's the change, you have to want to rise from that and make that decision. But you know, we talked about values, I think before you can make any type of catalyst towards change, you have to understand your foundation of the house you're living in. And the foundation are your values, your morals, your integrity, what you believe in, and a lot of that has to come with conviction, you have to know what am I willing to do? What am I not willing to do? What is possible for me, but what is legitimately not possible for me right now, you know, like, someone who wants to move to Italy and spend the day you know, showing their bike ride and they're that one reel yet they have a mom and they're a mom and they got like a baby and a toddler that was like, it's probably not gonna legitimately happen right then. So what is possible for you right now, but what isn't?

Coach Kim 19:00
Yeah. And you know, that's actually a really good example because a lot of us, like, I think also one of the limiting things that happens when we know we want to uplevel who we are or make changes in our life, is that we go yup, and I love I love my, you know, I love my life, I love my home, I love my people, I love my relationships, I love, I love the way that it is right now. But you can love the way that it is right now. And know that there is something else out there for you, something like the next version of you. And this is just the evolution of, I believe, and everybody's entitled to their own belief, but I believe that that I am always going to be a learner and a grower and a mover and a shaker and a doer and and so although that idea may not be shared, I can love my life and the people in it and the things around me and still want more for myself? Yeah,

Coach Jo 20:04
like you are allowed to have both of those things. Yeah, I think your foundation and once you understand those values of what you can, what you cannot do or what you're willing to do or not willing to do, then you have to make that decision, though, too, is that when I become this next version of my life, will that change a little bit? Or will it remain the same? And will you accept either way?

Coach Kim 20:23
And those are choices too? You know, like, I have completely transformed who I am in the last 12 years. And my marriage has never been better. And my relationships have never been stronger. And so I guess there's that whole, I think there is a natural fear for people of going like, I want I know, I want to change, but I'm scared that nobody else will accept it or what?

Coach Jo 20:48
So that's a limiting belief, right?

Coach Kim 20:49
Yeah. Well, and and sometimes the people around you don't want you to change, but this is your life, and you get to change. And I think that's the other thing that I've realized along the way is that I can change all kinds of things. And at the heart of me still be the person that they love, count on. My values are still the same.

Coach Kim 21:13
Yeah, but the the value system has also changed, say, 20 years ago, your value system on health was a lot different than it was right?

Coach Jo 21:19
Yeah, well, and my and my value system, like it was not even my value system, on health, but like, what I believed I deserved, like, Do you know what I mean? Like, your beliefs are part of that value system.

Coach Jo 21:34
Yeah, I agree. Yeah. So like, how do you move forward? Once you have that moment, where you do look in the mirror and you decide like the buck stops here? Well, then what? How do you move forward? And besides that question above, once you have clarity that something's gotta give, and you need to make a switch for yourself, the first thing to do is really, you got to take action, in whatever capacity that may be, there is no magic order of importance of what should come first, before you take your big action, you just need to start to move towards the direction of the person that you want to become

Coach Kim 22:12
right. And when Jo says, besides, how do you move forward? Besides the questions above, she's talking about the questions that she said regarding values, you know, like, what am I willing to do? What am I absolutely not willing to do? What's possible for me and what is truly not possible for me right now, it's just not in the cards. And when it comes to action, taking action, there is a huge difference between passive action and massive action, like passive action. A lot of us do we know we want to change. And so we listen to podcasts. And we read a book and we talk about it…

Coach Jo 22:48
And we put the post-its on our mirror in the bathroom. I will start tomorrow, which is good, in theory.

Coach Kim 22:50
Yeah, totally. But then there's massive action and massive action is when you just… you're doing it, you're doing whatever it takes, until you get where you want to go. And it could be one thing a day, it could be three things a day, it could be limping along, trying to figure out what those things are, but you're taking behaviour actions that are generating new results, a new version of who you are. And there's nothing wrong with the old version. You know, what the way I started this, where I was talking about the different versions of who I've been in my life. That woman was loved, and I and I'm grateful to her and she was always supported. And she had a mom who loved her and she had a man that thought she was great, you know, as she evolved, she was a decent enough mother, but there's nothing wrong with her. And I wanted more, better , different. I wanted the next version I wanted to experience and when you talked about the buck stops here, it was like I just was done fucking loathing myself.

Coach Jo 24:04
That's pretty heavy. Because that is the moment that's the catalyst for change.

Coach Kim 24:09
Mm hmm.

Coach Jo 24:10
You're just done. You realize like I have spent how many decades hating this body like you said that 14 year old standing in front of the mirror? Christmas dinner? Yeah. Like you have to make that change. And it starts from healing within.

Coach Kim 24:23
Totally and not just the physical state, like loathing, my over emotionality or my inability to focus or how I would. Yeah, whatever, all Hotaling things and it doesn't even have to come from a place of loathing. You can just, there's lots of I've never been a have never had a better relationship with myself. And I still go, Am I satisfied with the way this is? Or how could I love and take care of myself better? Or how can I choose how to show up in the next version of me? Just because I fucking want to. Like there's nothing wrong with that.

Coach Jo 25:00
I agree there is nothing wrong with that. Kim and I have a couple cheat codes that we want to share with you guys some strategy on you know how you can use that catalyst. And then take that next step, that action. What is that action?,

Coach Kim 25:15
Yeah, because like Jo said, it's not just post-it notes on your mirror. That is a great support tool, but it's not going to take you where you want to go home.

Coach Jo 25:24
Yeah, it's a way to incite motivation is what it is. But remember, motivation is just a feeling. It's the discipline, it's doing the fucking work that's going to get you what you want. And you gotta decide enough is enough.

Coach Kim 25:38
And that's where strategy is what has to come next. And we talk about it as cheat codes. Because it's like, the keys to winning, it's the keys to accomplishing all the things that you say, you don't have time for or don't want or can't possibly do, or can't fit in or don't deserve or don't, right? Like the strategy. This is the beautiful thing about strategy is it's neutral, it doesn't care how you fucking feel. Because it works. It works.

Coach Jo 26:06
I love that. I love that. It doesn't, because it doesn't care or you fucking feel

Coach Kim 26:11
No, it doesn't. And so the first one would be, what?

Coach Jo 26:15
It'd be boundaries. I think boundaries are huge. And it's you're noticing your own self worth boundaries. Like we talked about social media boundaries with people who aren't making you feel good or won't help lead you towards your goals, you know, boundaries in with your time management, making sure you say no to things instead of saying yes to things. Like once you have boundaries in place, you're setting your arena up for the proper structure for you to step into it. And then feel more successful when you lock the door behind you.

Coach Kim 26:45
Yeah, I love that. So that's one of them. The second one, the one that has been life fucking changing for me is time management and time management in a way that I always used to be like, but I'm a spontaneous person at heart. I don't like having my life scheduled away because it means there's not enough flex time and then not enough free time. And what I have discovered in practicing actual time management and time blocking specifically, is that I have become a fucking production machine and, and production machine with a shit ton of free time. You know, like, what, because what I'm doing is I'm creating an environment where I show up to get things done, whether I feel like it or not, which we're gonna get to again, and when it's done, I move on to the next thing. There's no overthinking it. I'm not listening to my brain say do I feel like it? Do I not feel like it. I'm just showing up doing what's on the schedule, and fucking getting it done.

Coach Jo 27:43
Yeah, totally. I have noticed a huge shift to like, you and I are both very, very good at our time blocking and making sure things are getting done. Almost to the point that this summer we're like, oh, what are we supposed to be doing? Am I, do, should I leave? Like, am I good, can I leave the gym?

Coach Kim 28:01
I don’t have anything on my schedule right now? What is so weird what's going on? Totally.

Coach Jo 28:05
Another one is visualization. Like what stories are you putting in your brain Kim touch base on I come from a long line of big women. So I'm just another one of those big women.

Coach Kim 28:16
Like what are you telling yourself? And how do you see yourself?

Coach Jo 28:20
Yeah, what you put in your brain you guys, you become. That's what you become.

Coach Kim 28:22
100%

Coach Jo 28:23
You are saying like, I hate my body. I'll never wear that outfit because I just don't look good in it. And oh, here's that event. I'll never wear that dress. Why would I go out?

Coach Kim 28:33
Or I hate the gym. I don't want to work out. Yeah, I hate to move. I hate to walk. I hate lettuce. I don't eat meat. Like all, no it doesn't have to be meat. You know, I like but I'm just saying like, whatever you tell yourself. Whatever your brain comes up with is the way that you see your life unfolding. It becomes that is the thought becomes things right there.

Coach Jo 28:54
Yeah. So if you visualize positive things in your brain, like you visualize yourself doing the work you visualize yourself getting to the gym and finishing that workout. If you visualize drinking all your water in a day and high fiving yourself in front of the mirror like you have to visualize that you're doing the stuff.

Coac Kim 29:10
Well, yes, and…

Coach Jo 29:11
Hold on. We're visualizing, we visualize we were gonna do a fucking podcast. Yeah. And now here we are on Episode Six. You got to visualize it and know that you can do it.

Coach Kim 29:22
Well, and we didn't know that we could do it. We just could see it like taking the next step. Yeah. And you know, I think a lot of times, especially when it comes because we're in fitness and health and body transformation and health transformation. You know, I think a lot of times, it is very challenging for people to see themselves physically in a different way. Like if I told you to visualize yourself in 10 years, can you see yourself in 10 years how your body will change how your face will change? It's very, very challenging. So for somebody who's got 40 or 50 or 60 pounds to lose, it is practically impossible to see themselves thin in their brain or slimmer, or leaner or stronger. And so it's much easier to visualize yourself doing the things that will get you that result. I see myself making my meals, I see myself going to bed, I see myself drinking my water, I see myself at the gym, going through the motions, right? And then that is be what becomes the foundation for the actions you need to take to become the next version of yourself.

Coach jo 30:29
Lead that into Kim deciding ahead of time.

Coach Kim 30:32
This is my fucking favorite, I'm going to tell you, this has been another life shift for me is deciding ahead of time, most of us I think what happens in a lot of ways is we run out of steam in the course of our day, we have good intentions, we want to change, we want to do something better, we want to show up in a different way. And then we get worn down by the bullshit of the day. And we give up at about 4pm This is like normal. It is decision fatigue ear, there's only so much willpower. There's only so much sheer, like I can do it before your body just goes Yeah, fuck it, I don't care, you know. And so deciding ahead of time for me has become a staple in, and I always give the example of workout. There is no part of me that feels like working out today. And it's already fucking done. Because I decided ahead of time that I was going to walk, that I was going to eat my salad, that I was going to, and I just I chose I didn't leave it up to whim. I didn't leave it up to if I have enough time. I didn't leave it up to if I feel like it. It's done. I fucking decided. And then I set up the prep to do it. And then I just follow through even when my brain is going, maybe not. Maybe there's potato chips in the cupboard. I could rather I'll just do it tomorrow. You know, like, I'm just fuckin doing it. And it's because I chose it in advance.

Coach Jo 31:54
Yeah, and that really does correlate to the last one following through when you don't feel like it. There wasn't one ounce of motivation in my bone marrow before we started that noon class today, Kim and I made a plan to work out together at noon by the way we don't get it that often. And when we do we pretty much cherish it but I was yawning in the warm up. I had no sleep last night like, I, had i didn't not want to do and I remember thinking, I have to do this another four fucking rounds. Like I'm a coach. I'm a part owner in the gym. And I still think the exact same thing as everybody else. I don't want to, the weights felt heavy today, like I just did not want to get through with it. And then like Kim said before you know it all of a sudden, it's done. No, I don't feel like cleaning my beets from the garden and knowing how fucking long they take to cook in order to eat a good fiber rich, nutrient dense vegetable. But I go to the garden. And here I am until 9:30 Last night just making sure I have that prepped, right I did not want to do that. I enjoyed being in my garden. But sometimes I'm like, oh, fuck, I gotta can and prep this shit in a couple months like that scare me.

Coach Kim 33:03
And for you, you didn't feel like being in the garden. But I was just sitting with you before we started recording the podcast while you eat your lunch. And you were like, oh my god, that is so amazing.

33:14
Fresh beats out of the garden. I'm telling you that's like cocaine to me.

Coach Kim 33:17
And the payoff is amazing, right? And the payoff is always amazing. That's the fucking thing is that if you can just get yourself to follow through despite how you feel. The payoff is what is the like nugget of dopamine, really.

Coach Jo 33:33
Those are the big wins the consistency. Yeah, this is so passionate.

Coach Kim 33:36
You can tell you can tell this is passionate.

Coach Jo 33:41
This is so passionate to us, you guys, because we are passionate about this. Because you can become any version of yourself that you want. That is actually true. People lose sight of that.

Coach Kim 33:56
Yeah, I think that's so cool. Like, and you know, I would say that there was a time in my life where somebody would say you could become anything you want to be. And I'd be like, No, I can't, you're wrong. That's yeah, it's not possible for me. And Jo, and I, you know, we kind of hashed this out when we talked about what, how we're going to approach the episode and what we want to cover. One of the things I said is that there has been times in my life where I'm like, Yeah, sure, you can do it because you're an anomaly because you're an athlete, because you're already tall and lean, because you're already you've got that, like, you've got that belief in yourself. Like I would have come up with all these reasons why it was possible for you, but not for me. And I think that that is probably more common, that because I would say people do it on social media. You look at somebody else and go, Oh, wow, they have a magical life, but that's because they're them. You know, like you can choose who you want to be how you you show up what you do, how you think, what actions you take, you can choose anything and follow through and do it doesn't mean you're going to become overnight something, no. Because the people who become that usually are working at it for 5, 10, 15, 20 years. How many times have you seen a success story where like, you know, they're like, I've been, I've been posting on my social media for 12 years, before I made a six figure salary in a year, like, those are people who are just fucking committed to it, and know that they have a vision in their head, you know, so this comes to like expectations and, and making sure that we know how we want to feel how we want to show up, and then you release the expectations about any kind of a fucking timeline, and you just do the work to become the version of yourself, that then opens up to that release

Coach Jo 35:56
Release the expectations of the timeline. Yeah, that right there. Yeah, that's what it is. So make sure to hop on to our email list as we will be promoting our You 2.0 Retreat, where you will be able to walk through this process in detail with us having a coach in real time, it helps you process your limiting beliefs, your excuses, and getting clear about choosing the next version of yourself and how to get there, and how to actually make it happen. The cheat codes for how we get all this shit done.

Coach Kim 36:27
Yeah, like, essentially, you know, this whole podcast is how we came up with this idea, this phrase of You 2.0, you know, and the Cheat Codes of Possibility is that, that we're talking about all of these things, we're walking through the steps, so that people can basically access all the things that we know and have done and have tried and dig deep and get the clarity, get the awareness of what you want. And it's like time away from your real life. The whole 2.0 Retreat is about time away from your real life, no distractions, no people, no pull, where you can tune in to yourself, and, and really gain some clarity as to what you want, how you can get there, and then get the strategy in place. The whole point of this retreat is that you're going to walk away with a plan, you have zero distractions, you have got all this internal focus time, this opportunity for clarity with Jo and I, October 5th and 6th, and we're going to help you create the next evolution of you.

Coach Jo 37:36
Now we hope you can make it. Thanks for listening and tuning in.

Coach Kim 37:37
Okay, see you next time. Bye bye.


Coach Jo 37:38

You probably got a sense of who we are by now and what our personal approach is to developing a lifestyle that creates really great health and strength. Using a relational common sense coaching approach that is backed by knowledge and personal experience

Coach Kim 37:57

There are a couple of ways that you can work with Jo or I, one on one, remote or you can actually train here at Iron Lab.

Coach Jo 38:05

The first is the Metabolic Blueprint, personalized coaching program, which is customized for your life and your body.

Coach Kim 38:13

We work together very closely either in person or remotely to help you conquer old diet drama and to get lasting results.

Coach Jo 38:21

Ideally, we'd love to teach you how to never buy a quick-fix diet program or app again.

Coach Kim 38:27

Next, there is the accelerator academy, which is up to 12 months of self-paced weekly bite-sized lessons and journaling exercises, that we’ve created to help you create the lifestyle habits that generate a true transformation.

Coach Jo 38:42

Find out more on our website: ironlablacombe.com/metabolic-blueprint