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In a world consumed by hustle, we lose touch with the other essential elements of a life well lived: love, joy, fulfillment, purpose, and soul growth. It's time to lay down the busy badge and re-define success.
Join Marisa Hohaia, a certified life, spiritual, and emotional intelligence coach, and energy healer with a background in Psychology, in weekly conversations with dynamic guests about what exists beyond busy when we find the courage to slow down and explore.
Through the lens of psychology, spirituality, and energetics, each episode offers insights on manifesting a soulful, meaningful, and wildly abundant life. This podcast is for the spiritually curious, Type A, achievement chaser, seeking balance, impact, ease, and connection without sacrificing her success.
Tangible tips, tools, and perspectives to support your awakening and personal transformation journey. It's time to free yourself from doubt, fear, and the pursuit of the hustle and call in your dream future.
Melanie: [00:00:00] I have taught myself to even just fall in love with the journey of figuring it out and that has really helped me to be able to navigate this waiting period that is for me and in my, it, I will arrive there.
Melanie: I just, I can't throw in the towel and quit or I'll never figure it out. [00:01:00]
Marissa: My guest today is Melanie Metro. Melanie started her entrepreneurial journey in 2011 with a health and fitness company. And with less than 75 Facebook friends and zero Instagram followers, She grew to the number one sales consultant in the company and developed the largest organization in her network.
Marissa: She has navigated mom guilt, poor boundaries, leadership challenges, and burnout, which she talks about in her amazing podcast, women inspiring women weekly. She now mentors and trains other direct sellers to grow healthy and [00:02:00] successful businesses through her strategies and tools for well rounded success.
Marissa: She created Chic Influencer with her business partner to equip more direct sellers with the tools and the systems for scalable long term success and happiness. And I asked Melanie to join me here today to talk about building a life outside of the lines and finding the courage to experiment with what might be possible on the other side of the known.
Marissa: So Melanie, welcome. It's such a pleasure to have you here.
Melanie: Well, thank you, Marissa. It's such an honor to be here with you too. Marissa.
Marissa: So tell the listeners a little bit about who you are and share with us your incredible journey from where you were to what you're doing now in your career.
Melanie: Sure. So first and foremost, I'm a wife.
Melanie: I have an amazing husband, Matt, and we have two kids. Two boys that we were just chatting offline before we got started. They started eighth grade and ninth grade this year. So we're in a very new season. We're [00:03:00] about to have a driver in our house next year, which is completely, yeah. It's a little wild.
Melanie: It's a little wild, but it. I actually started my entrepreneurial journey when my youngest was six months old and my oldest was two and a half. So it's really been an awesome experience for us to build this business and for them to be a part of it. And I will tell you that I don't come from an entrepreneurial background.
Melanie: I have an undergrad in psychology of a master's in special education. So I, when I met my husband, we were dating in college. I was very clear that I would go to college. I was going to get a degree and I would have the background in case I ever needed to support myself. But I really wanted to be a stay at home mom.
Melanie: That was actually my vision for my life was to be home to raise our babies and. That is exactly how we planned. We planned, we saved. And once we had our second child we made the decision for me to [00:04:00] completely step out of my professional career and into the role of a stay at home mom. And I thought it was going to be complete bliss.
Melanie: And I was shocked that I did not embrace it. Like I thought I would, I really missed the contribution in the workplace. I struggled with just the, there was no structure in my days. I just, I wasn't really a great stay at home mom. I found that I was better when I had that time away and then I was able to be present.
Melanie: And so I struggled with a lot of mom guilt in the first six months that I was Fully at home. And that's when I was introduced to this world of online marketing. Really before it was a thing, you know, people were really just starting to market on Facebook. And Instagram was just a place that I went to filter my pictures so they looked better.
Melanie: So I really didn't know too much about the Instagram platform, but I started a blog in 2011. It was on blogger. Those of you that are familiar with the blogging world, I designed and develop my own [00:05:00] blog and I started to blog my wellness journey, sort of that journey of Postpartum and getting my body back and also really I fell in love with nutrition during that time and really understanding how to feel your body properly.
Melanie: And I found myself saying there has to be more women out there that don't know these things. And if I can start to teach them how to live a healthier lifestyle, incorporate better foods into their, into their families and cook better clean meals, then I was making an impact. And so I started this wellness business.
Melanie: Through my blog, through my Facebook, and I quickly realized that I was super passionate about wellness. And I was also really good at marketing. And my husband thought I was nuts. He thought I had lost my marbles. He really said, you know, Melanie, if you want to get a job, we can put the kids in daycare and you can get a real job.
Melanie: And I just set out to prove him wrong. And so, you know, within the course of, you know, nine months, I was really, really starting to make some significant income. And then within a couple of [00:06:00] years, I was surpassing my full time income for when I was working my corporate job. And about four years into it, my husband actually walked away from his corporate career and we started building the business together.
Melanie: And so since our kids were in preschool, they have only ever known their parents at home working together. And so we've built this incredible wellness empire together. And then about five years ago, I stepped into the consulting ring and opened a second company where I just, I wanted to teach direct sellers.
Melanie: Cause I have this knack for leadership systems, the scalability, the duplication of processes. And I've been for the past five years, I've been teaching other direct sellers in the online space. How to grow and scale and brand themselves. And so, that's where we are today. It's been a wild journey and never in a million years, what I have said, this is what God had planned for my life.
Melanie: But here I am today, embracing it and just loving, loving the journey.
Marissa: Yeah, [00:07:00] I it's interesting the whole entrepreneur the whole entrepreneurial path, right? It's seems exciting and glossy when you're working like in the corporate world, but it can actually be really difficult and time consuming and it's a struggle, right?
Marissa: Like anything else in life, it does take time. It takes energy. It takes focus. And if you're not connected to what it is that you're doing, like really authentically, then I find it can be really hard to stick to. So I love hearing that you basically found something you're passionate about. Uncovered these skills that you had and made it your purpose.
Marissa: But I also like that you and your husband did it in such a way that you didn't have to just give up everything and leave. Everything all the known to go into this other Avenue. So if, from what you're saying, it sounds [00:08:00] like you sort of walked that path, just step by step and let it unfold.
Marisa: And I
Marissa: think that's a big barrier for a lot of women who feel fed up in the corporate world, at least who I work with is they are so afraid to leave because they can't.
Marissa: See the fully manifested vision at the end. And so they're afraid to even start stepping. It just feels so uncomfortable. So I would love for you to speak a little bit to finding that courage and, the gumption, if you will, to, to explore what it is that you were feeling called to do, and then, building on that, you know, To the point where you were able to leave.
Melanie: Yeah, it was such a process. It, it wasn't a, okay, this is my idea and tomorrow it's fully, it's fully come to life and fruition. There were multiple years in there, I think is really important. And I [00:09:00] want to set the stage too, by saying that the first year that I was even. Operational in business. My husband didn't support me at all.
Melanie: He actually went out of his way to make it difficult for me to build the business, you know, so, cause I needed those evening hours and he was just not willing to help out. You know, he had worked a full time corporate job. He didn't see the vision. So you might be listening to this thinking, I have so many cards stacked against me.
Melanie: I'm not sure that this is ever going to come to fruition. And it really starts with these small steps. And one of the things that. We teach in a lot of the programs that we offer as this concept of like mile marker mindset and creating a vision, but almost blurring out the vision, if you think of a chalkboard and you were to draw your vision of where you want to go, and maybe it is starting this piece.
Melanie: Business and having enough income to be able to travel the world or work for your laptop or be home with your kids. You almost, you want to have that clear vision, but you want to kind of blur it out ever so [00:10:00] slightly because you're focusing on the mile markers, what are the, what is like your hand is on the steering wheel on the 10 and the two.
Melanie: And what are the things that you need to do in order to take that road to that vision? And so for me, it was okay. The first month in business, I want to just be able to make, you know, an extra. 300. And it was so small. The number was so small. And so I had to kind of step into it. And it was, I had to work my business in the pockets of mom life.
Melanie: Now I know maybe your listeners are going to a full time job, but being a stay at home mom is similar to a full time job. I can't just sit in front of my computer for eight hours and build my business. So it was an hour before they woke up. It was the nap time in the afternoon. It was two hours after they went to bed at night.
Melanie: And it was doing that. Consistently every single day, knowing that I was just chipping away at the vision, getting one step closer. And so it started that way with 300. Then, you [00:11:00] know, I built on that too. Can I get it to a thousand dollars a week? Can I, do I have enough money now that I can hire a VA that could actually do some admin work that could allow me to actually do the things that.
Melanie: Reduce more money, like doing collaborations or networking or sales calls. And so what I did was I number one, every free moment of the day, I was consuming education. So my ear pods would be in while I was running the sweeper or cooking dinner, and I would be all Watching a YouTube video on how to do social media marketing.
Melanie: I would be listening to something on YouTube about how to manage my time better. And so I was just this sponge, every free moment that I had, I was consuming, but then I was executing. And so to those of you that are wanting to start and it feel so overwhelming. It is just identifying what are the mile markers that if I chip away at them are going to be proof that I'm making progress towards the [00:12:00] goals along the way.
Melanie: And I feel like that's kind of the beginning part of where you actually need to start in the process.
Marissa: Yeah, and I The, the chunking it down, like the, the, the breaking it down into manageable pieces is so critical and so important. And I love what you said about proving to yourself that, you know, you can kind of do these things bit by bit because it's that it's being in that energy of embodiment and success that is going to bring and manifest the next Version, the next thing, the next piece, right?
Marissa: And I think we get so consumed with this idea that we have to just like, we can just manifest. You know, the, the thing that we want ultimately, and we can just step into this identity in there. I think there's a lot of like, inaccurate noise around that. And yes, quantum leaping. Sure. That can happen. But for most people.
Marissa: Getting from [00:13:00] A to Z is doesn't happen overnight and really it is the consistent way that you show up and you continue to step into and embody and be a sponge, um, and learn that gets you there over time. And it's it stacks, right? It stacks on itself. But I think where a lot of people lose their way in that and I've certainly been here myself and I still find myself here often is, um, the doubt, right?
Marissa: The doubt starts to set in because we don't see other people online often sharing that. It's like, Everywhere you look, I did this overnight or I created this or get to seven figures, you know, in one month with my playbook and everybody makes it seem so easy. And that can be really defeating. So I'm curious to know in that those early days, especially, and even now, um, how did you fight against that [00:14:00] doubt or continue to push through when your husband's saying.
Marissa: You know, this is not what I think you should be doing, or maybe other voices in your head, or you're feeling like a total novice.
Melanie: Yeah. Well, I there's, I still, to this day actually feel that way at times, you know, I look around at other people in the industry today and I think, gosh, there's so much further along than I am and what always.
Melanie: Negates that is when I sit down with somebody and we talk about our businesses together. And I'm like, Oh, you have the same challenges and struggles that I do. It's just, we all kind of paint this picture online of everything is perfect. And in the early days, I would intentionally seek out success stories of people that had done the things that I wanted to do.
Melanie: So where you could go are podcasts. They're a great place to do that. So Ed, my lead is actually one of my favorite podcasts to listen to because. I want to listen to people who struggle and people who struggle in big ways, because when I hear their struggles, it [00:15:00] reminds me that every single successful person got to their success because they struggled for a period of time and they had to find their way.
Melanie: And so we think that. Find these commonalities. We find comfort in other people's struggles because it reminds us that we're not alone. And so we were all building these online businesses and we're all out there on our little virtual islands. We have to be reminded that we, we really are all doing the same thing.
Melanie: So number one, it's like, who do you go to for that comfort? What are the success stories? People's stories who are building incredible things that you can listen to that are going to give you courage to keep pursuing your dreams. That, that is number one. I would say the second thing is I do put my blinders on.
Melanie: You know, there are people that give me energy, meaning when I read their content, consume their content, I am inspired to take action and then there are people that actually inspire me in the op. They unins inspire me. They make, it is this uncomfortable energy where I [00:16:00] feel more competition and it actually makes me feel less creative and I, if they're a good friend of mine, I just mute their social media so I don't have to unfollow them.
Melanie: But I really am intentional about not going to people's accounts or pages that I feel an unhealthy competition with, because then it steals my own creativity and I'm not coming up with authentic or original ideas. And I start being more of a carbon copy than an original. So that's another thing I do.
Melanie: And really, I am a firm believer and I've been doing this for all 13 years that I've been in business is I have a solid morning routine. And that morning routine is, there are a few key parts that I think are essential. Number one, I look at my vision every single morning and I visualize the thing that I'm working towards becoming my reality.
Melanie: And then I say to myself, what is the proof that I am making progress along the way? And that goes in my journal. Here [00:17:00] are five areas of proof that show I'm making wins. It might be a good call with my marketing team. And we have this really good campaign that we're about to launch, and I'm really proud of that.
Melanie: It could be that I have 10 new leads that I'm working on, and I'm really excited about the potential. And so I'm looking for any win that says I'm taking steps along the way. And then I go into the next step. It's like, what are the top three things that must get done today that are going to get me one step closer to the goal?
Melanie: Because I can see on my schedule, I have five meetings. But maybe all five of those meetings have nothing to do with the big vision of where I want to go. And I need to make sure that whether it's the prospecting or it's the content or the follow ups, those things have to be happening. Otherwise we're busy and we're not productive.
Melanie: And I always am. What am I grateful for? You know, I'm searching for the gratitude in the journey and I will journal out the hard. I am so grateful for this difficult conversation I [00:18:00] had to have because it. It reminded me that good communication is essential to a thriving, healthy team. And so every day I'm, I'm going through that process of my vision, you know, what progress, what are, what are the, what's the progress?
Melanie: What are the wins I'm having towards my goals? What is the gratitude? What do I need to show up and do today? And at the end of the day, I just, sometimes I'm laying in bed and I'm like, Okay. Well, what am I proud of? Sometimes I actually do pull out my journal. Okay. What did I do today that moved the needle forward?
Melanie: And so I book end my day with that practice that keeps me on the straight and narrow. And it's a reminder that I'm becoming. this person. I have taught myself to even just fall in love with the journey of figuring it out and that has really helped me to be able to navigate this waiting period that is for me and in my, it, I will arrive there.
Melanie: I just, I can't throw in the towel and quit or I'll never figure it out.
Marissa: Yes, that the words that come to [00:19:00] mind for me when I hear you talking is like this intentionality and keeping your vision at the center of your time management, which is, I think for a lot of people, what is missing is that vision piece.
Marissa: And so that's where they can get stuck in a lot of busy work is like, okay, well I feel like I have to do 400 things instead of the things that are going to move the needle on what I really care about. So I'm, I'm, I'm definitely going to copy that. Those three questions. Those, those are great. Uh, so along that line, given that you do have this focus, you have this big vision, you have this focus every day and you are connected with that and you are actively making sure that you're feeding that.
Marissa: How do you avoid getting stuck in a hustle trap where you are, your vision. And your focus on that dream becomes consuming.
Melanie: [00:20:00] Well, I'm an Enneagram 3 and I don't know if you're looking at everything Enneagram, but I am a high performer. I'm a high achiever and I love my job. And I love to work. I can get caught up in that in the most unhealthy way.
Melanie: And I'll even give you some examples of it so we can relate to one another here. You know, there were seasons in my business where I would be sitting on the floor playing. And we would be building a road with all of the matchbox cars and I would be sitting there with my phone and I'd be, I'd see the notification pop up that somebody was asking questions about my services and I would pick up the phone and I would answer and my boys would be like, Hey mom, come on, let's play.
Melanie: And I'd be like, one more minute, one more minute. And I'd be typing away and then all of a sudden they'd be like, you're not even playing with me, you know, put down your phone. And so there would be this mom guilt and I'd put down the phone. And I would, I would feel this like disconnect or we'd be driving in the car [00:21:00] and the boys would be talking in the backseat.
Melanie: And my husband would be like, Melanie, do you even hear what they're saying? And I would be in whatever I was doing on the phone. And so I just can be that person that. I love my work so much that it is a chore for me to actually not work. And so I've done the unhealthy hustle to where I've burnt myself out.
Melanie: I've thrown myself into adrenal fatigue. I have had to really rest and I've read some great books that have helped me to To turn that around. But what I, what I've realized through this journey is that at the end of the day, if you were to strip away everything from me and my, my accolades, the money that I've made, like none of that would matter if my, my children and my spouse and the people that love me didn't feel like I showed up fully present if we didn't have a good quality relationship.
Melanie: And so what I do is I find the balance in that by looking at my week. I'm a big planner. I do this [00:22:00] whole every Sunday. I have a planning session with myself, but I say to myself, where am I? fully going to be present with my children. And these were some of the tweaks that I make because working eight hours a day while trying to mom was not working.
Melanie: I was totally guilty. So it would be Thursday nights was going to be date night with my husband. And maybe we didn't go anywhere, but we sat on the couch and watch TV. And I had to leave my phone in the other room for a long time. I couldn't even be trusted to have it. sitting beside me without checking it.
Melanie: Or I would say, okay, Landon and Bryce, we're going to go to the park for an hour or two, and I'm going to be fully present with them. The phone's going to stay in the car. And I started to learn that two hours of quality time was better than eight hours of me being distracted. And so I started to just be present where I was.
Melanie: And to, and then, but to also use my work time wisely, if I was going to go into the spare room and, and close the door and work for an hour and a half, I was going to go in with a list. [00:23:00] I was going to, I wasn't going to be shopping on Amazon or scrolling on Instagram or Facebook. I was going in with an intention and a list.
Melanie: And so me learning to use my time wisely and to really be present where I was at. That took away the mom guilt for sure. And it also allowed me to move my business forward faster and in less time. So many of you are building your business in the pockets of working full time. And it's really about setting the intentions even before you start that block, whether it's a work block or it's a personal block.
Melanie: It's how do I want to show up and how do I want to be present in this moment and what do I want to achieve? And that's really helped me. I almost have to gamify it because I'm so wired to be productive. So even if I feel productive in my personal relationships, I'm like, okay, check that off the box, you know?
Marissa: No, that's, I think that's a good way to think about it. It's whatever works for you. Right. I mean, as a, as an Enneagram three, I, I can understand, you know, without knowing a ton about that [00:24:00] profile, where you're coming from and I think that's it. Right. It's like, whatever works for you to be able to work that in, but you're right.
Marissa: It's. Kids, they don't need four hours of your undivided attention. And most of the time, they don't want that depending on how old they are, right? Um, they really just want your attention when it matters to them. And I think it's about showing them that you can Put them first, you know, and it's, even if it's just 10, 15 minutes, you know, cause I've struggled and still struggle very similarly to you and I'm an enneagram seven.
Marissa: So for me, you know, I'm not, I'm not putting those things in my calendar the same way. Right. Cause I like the flexibility.
Marisa: Yeah.
Marissa: So for me, it's about, you know, constantly being aware of what's going on and like telling my showing my kids and telling them like, okay, yes, and putting my phone down and saying, I'm putting my phone down or putting it away or say, let me put my phone away for a [00:25:00] minute.
Marissa: And so that they know I'm doing it. Intentionally without even really needing to say it, but just for the value of them hearing me say it and seeing me prioritize them and the subconscious impact of that. Um, and I love that you are, um, that you are looking at like different resources, different books.
Marissa: I'm curious to know what's one. Book other than the podcast, obviously at my lab, what's it, what's a book or another resource, um, that you really like, that's been really helpful for you that you would want to share with.
Melanie: There, my, my, my whole bookshelf behind me is books. And I just like went on this rampage two weeks ago or a categorize them all, you know, time management, productivity, you know, morning routine, mindset, business books.
Melanie: But I, when I was first starting out, the miracle morning was one of the first ones that I read because it helped me to understand the importance of prioritizing your day. And [00:26:00] even the 5 a. m. club, which is a Robin Sharma book is a great one too. It's more of that story format. So your mornings are really, they set the cadence for the rest of the day.
Melanie: So I, I really firmly believe that that morning routine is super important. So important to you. And I will say then eat that frog is a Brian Tracy book. And because I used to wait to the end of the day to do the most important things I'd hated reach outs on social media. I hated the personal messages.
Melanie: And so I would wait until nine o'clock when I wasn't that sharp. I really, like there was nothing left in my brain. I had given it all to everybody else. And so I would find that every day I wasn't doing these needle moving activities. And so I started to quote unquote eat my frog. So first thing in the morning, when I sat down to work, I started to do the social content, the reach outs that I need to do the prospecting.
Melanie: So that way, if the rest of the day went sideways. Those things were actually getting [00:27:00] done. So those are some of my favorites. Um, there, Tanya Dalton wrote a great book too, about it's like on purpose is the name of the book. So she has a really good one. So I just, those are some of my favorite resources when it comes to just how do you manage your energy?
Melanie: Um, Michael Hyatt is a great author and he's got some great books. Productivity books too. So I'm all about being productive because when you learn these little hacks, it, especially for you, Marissa, how you're more of like the free spirited person. It's, I get a lot of people like that and they're like, I don't want to be blocked into a thing, but I'm like, but when you are blocked into a schedule, yeah, you're, but when you're blocked, when you do have some structure, you can actually fully enjoy the free time you do have without anxiety so much more.
Melanie: Absolutely.
Marissa: I. Have found a middle ground that works for me, which I think works for a lot of free spirited people. Um, if they can get themselves to the point where they're willing to accept it is for me, it's like a [00:28:00] daily, a day by day, like a daily, uh, it a daily plan. So I do still work day by day. Pretty much.
Marissa: I mean, I have clients on certain days, but in and around my stable appointments, what I do and how I use my energy. I still really take day by day, but I always do my hardest things 1st. Same, same thing, things that I dislike the most, I get them out of the way, and then I evaluate how much time I have for myself, for my kids, in and around the stable appointments, and I also take into consideration how I feel.
Marissa: So if I want to, you know, be lazy one day, I allow myself to be lazy. Um, however that looks for me, right? Um, if I want to be super productive, I allow the space for me to do more work, but that helps me manage what I need to get done for myself and my kids and to feel good. And then also, you know, manage what, what is possible for me without pushing myself too hard.
Melanie: Yeah. Yeah. I love that. And there just are some days where you wake up and you say, okay, I just don't have it [00:29:00] in me today. No energy's not there. And so many women beat themselves up because they aren't busy every minute of the day. Right. And I used to kind of play that game where I would stare at the computer for an hour and I wouldn't get anything done.
Melanie: And so I, I was like, okay, it's actually more productive for me to go take a nap or take a walk. And so maybe it's not managing your productivity over day by day. It's looking at the week. Did I get the things that moved the business forward done in a week's timeframe? Because I feel like people then set themselves up for failure.
Melanie: And when they don't feel like they're doing everything every day, they are defeated and quit. Where it's like, give yourself a little flexibility, you know, it's, yeah. Yeah. And I like
Marissa: what you said about the milestones and when you, when you. Reverse engineer from your big dream and you look at, okay, these are the steps that I need to be taking consistently.
Marissa: And you focus more on doing those things consistently. Um, Um, I think you take a lot of pressure off yourself and then you are more likely to manifest it because your energy is different around [00:30:00] it. So, um, great, great points, Melanie. I appreciate it. Um, tell listeners where they can find you and any resources that you want to share that would be helpful for them, that they can get their hands on.
Melanie: Yeah. Okay. So I hang out on Instagram. So my handle is just at Melanie Metro. I'm always sharing business advice or just life advice over there. And you can come hang with me in the stories or in the feed. And then I also have a podcast. I actually have two of them. So women inspiring women, it drops every Tuesday and I share a lot of direct marketing.
Melanie: So if you are in the marketing space and it's direct sales, you can come hang with me. I talk a lot about like leadership. stuff on that page or on that podcast. And then for anybody that's a direct seller, that's looking to grow more in the sales and marketing and branding, uh, I have the direct sales done, right.
Melanie: Podcast with my business partner that launches every Thursday, a new episode drops. So we've got that and I've got tons of great [00:31:00] resources. If you are somebody that is, that really needs help with The productivity and the time I have a time blocker that has a mini course that comes with it as well. So I'll drop the link to that for you, Marissa, and you can share that.
Melanie: But yeah, that's the tool that I live by. That saves my life is the time blocker and you'll see me talk about it all of the time too.
Marissa: Well, that's amazing. I think it's always great to get our hands on anything. We can, that will help people find ways to break up with busy. So I so appreciate you, Melanie.
Marissa: Thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me. [00:32:00]