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Welcome to the Raising Up Fathers Podcast. We are here to champion men to thrive in their four main roles: son, husband, father, and brother.
Through testimonies and best practices. Our goal is to help you look a little more like Jesus in the areas that matter the most. Our vision is to raise up ten thousand fathers in the name of Jesus. You can find out more at raisingupfathers.com
If what you heard today encouraged you, please share it with a friend.
So I have the privilege of introducing the first person who's gonna share with us tonight. And interestingly, when I first met this guy in February and, like, 07/2008. I thought he was a total doo bag d bag. And he really was, actually. I think he might even say that.
Speaker 1:He was a giant six foot eight guy with a huge Afro. And, anyway, I actually we were in the same, like, fraternity, but I avoided him. And so, but today, he's truly one of my best friends. I talk to him, like, two or three times a week, more than the people that I live next to, and we live in, like, four states away, so. Zach Garza is a man's man.
Speaker 1:Last week, we're, I was just, we're just catching up, and I was, I just started laughing at one point. I said, man, you're like the easiest person to bear weakness to because of who you are. And what's ironic about it is he's a six foot eight giant, but he's the most compassionate, like, understanding person. And yet, yeah, fierce. So it's an honor to walk with this guy.
Speaker 1:You know, Solomon had a lot of things right. In Proverbs 18, at the very last verse, he says, a friend a man with many friends may get hurt by them, but there's a friend that sticks closer to a bro than a brother. I would say that Zac may be the one person who proved Solomon wrong, because he's got a lot of friends, and he's close closer than a brother. And, and so he's one of the one of the most honorable guys I know. You know, strong people are not perfect.
Speaker 1:Zach is certainly not that, but one thing I can say while walking with him is that he is someone who fiercely goes after his weakness, and he's like, I'm gonna surrender that to the Lord. And and that's what makes him a strong and powerful person is he's a healed person. So without further ado, I want to introduce Zachary Garza senior. Thank you, Zach. He's gonna share he's gonna share about a lot of things, but mostly brother brothering today.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna need my phone real quick. Hold on. Sorry.
Speaker 1:I should've thought about that. Hey. I do want you to share your testimony about at the Caleb Discipleship School.
Speaker 2:Whatever you want, bro. Thanks. Here for you. We all know who wears the pants in this relationship. Alright, here we go.
Speaker 2:It's not me. Tell you that much. Ben is like I mean, Ben, why don't you stand up? Yeah. Just stand up.
Speaker 2:Why don't you take your hat off there, bald guy? Look at this man.
Speaker 1:You know Colorado has bears, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah. I this man I I am 100% sure can beat the mess out of me. He is a fierce individual. I hope that no one gets in a fight with him. He's a mighty man.
Speaker 2:He's got this, like, inner, like, gusto. Like, when you make him mad, you gotta watch out. This thing's not big enough for me. Surprise, surprise. Just gonna put this right here.
Speaker 2:Alright. Here we go. I just just wanna take a moment and just sit before the Lord. I know that that might seem weird, but before we do that, just say, look, like, there's gonna be some weird things up here. Like, you saw guys up there, like, you know, like, some people might be like, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:You see guys with their knee, like on their knees. You see guys sitting down. You see guys standing up. Hey, it's it's whatever you want to do. Like there is no judgment.
Speaker 2:There is no condemnation. You don't worry about the next person sitting by you. You just worry about yourself. And whatever you need to do, whatever you need to do to connect with the Lord, you do that. Okay?
Speaker 2:There's total freedom here. So I just wanna take a second and just take a couple deep breaths. So here we go. God, we say thank you. Enter your gates with thanksgiving and praise.
Speaker 2:God, we say thank you. Thank you for every man here, For every wife. For every child. Thank you, Jesus. For every brother.
Speaker 2:Thank you for the opportunity to be here, Lord. Holy Spirit, we invite you into this place and say have your way. We surrender all and we call you Lord. Have your way. Amen.
Speaker 2:Alright. Here we go. Alright, so a couple things happened this past year. Number one, the Lord showed me, something about myself. And he showed it to me in a very kind way, in a very gentle way, but he showed me how much fear I have been walking in in my entire life.
Speaker 2:The second thing that he showed me as I enter into my 40 year, Jackie Robinson year, Just finished up my Dirk year. He kind of like did this like fatherly thing. And he like put his arm around me and he's like, hey Zach. Hey, bud. Come here.
Speaker 2:He's like, hey, you're you're 42 now. We're done. We're done being a boy. All that childish stuff, we're done. We're just not gonna mess with that anymore.
Speaker 2:It's time. It's time to grow up. It's time to be a man. And when those two things hit, it forced me to ask myself a simple yet powerful question. And the question is this.
Speaker 2:What do I want? What do I want in life? I'm about halfway through. What do I want? If you're here this weekend, you're gonna hear a lot about the four main roles.
Speaker 2:Right? Son of God, your faith, your intimate relationship with the father, husband to a flourishing wife, to your bride, to the one whose heart you get to steward, father, protector, provider of your children, the one that they look up to, and brother. You get to champion other men for all that the Lord has for them. You see at the end of your life, those are the only four things that are gonna matter. When you're sitting there in your final days on your deathbed, what are you gonna be thinking about?
Speaker 2:Who's gonna be by you? I can guarantee you this, you're not gonna be thinking about what kind of car you drove. The size of your house, your resume, your promotion, you're not gonna be thinking about how people viewed you. You're only gonna ask yourselves a couple questions. You're gonna say, Lord, are you proud of me?
Speaker 2:Did I do a good job? You're gonna say, sweetheart, would you marry me again? Did I make you better? You're gonna say, children, did I help you become all that you were created to be? So what do I want in those four main roles?
Speaker 2:I wanna be the old man who looks like Jesus each and every day. Whenever I get old, I don't wanna talk about medicine, and I don't want to talk about retirement. I want to talk about making disciples. I want to talk about Jesus. Old men do two things, they either get more crusty or they get more like Jesus.
Speaker 2:And I want to get more like Jesus. I want to radiate with joy. I want men to come around me and say, there's something different. I don't know what it is, but I want to be around him. I want to surround myself with young men.
Speaker 2:You know, Don Finto, you guys will meet him. 96 years old. He's as fiery as they come. The guy's got more energy than I do. And why?
Speaker 2:Because he surrounds himself with young men and they spur him on. I want to be the warrior poet husband. I want to be the William Wallace. I want my wife to look at me and say, I'm so proud. That's my husband.
Speaker 2:I want every every man has seen this, the light in your wife's eyes. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I want my wife's eyes to be lit up because of how I stewarded her heart. I want her to flourish. Does anyone know what the word husband means?
Speaker 2:Comes from the word husband man, which is a gardening term. Boone probably likes it. It means to cultivate. Cultivate a garden. What's the point of any garden?
Speaker 2:It's to have whatever you plant flourish. Just like the job of a husband is to have your wife flourish. You're a husband man. And if you're single, one day. I want my kids to love Jesus.
Speaker 2:I want my kids to be leaders. I want when teachers see my kids walk into the room, they say, thank God I've got a Garza kid. I want my kids whenever I'm older to want to be with me. I want my sons to be like me. I want my daughter to marry someone like me.
Speaker 2:Maybe not just like me, but I want to be surrounded by lifelong friends, men who I've gone to war with, men who have seen me at my best and not my worst and still call me brother, men who know me inside and out, men who know my junk, men who know my weaknesses, men who can call me up. Faithful are the wounds from a friend. Do you have a friend who will wound you? I hope so. Because we need it.
Speaker 2:But here comes the hard part. It's doing the things that are necessary to become that man. And I don't want to do that. Sonship, I don't wanna wake up early. I don't wanna fast.
Speaker 2:It's terrible. Has anyone fasted before? It's the worst. I would rather catch up on sports and do what I wanna do than spend time with God. To be a husband.
Speaker 2:I don't wanna pursue my wife's heart. I'd rather sit on the couch. I don't want to listen. I don't want to let her buy the things that she wants and needs to flourish. Come on, sweetie.
Speaker 2:We got a budget. I don't want to go to marriage counseling. I don't want to work on our stuff. A father, I don't want to surrender my kids because what if they get hurt? What if someone takes advantage of them?
Speaker 2:I want to protect them. I want to surround them. I want them to live a life of comfort because I don't want them to experience anything bad. I don't want to let go. I want to control.
Speaker 2:No one likes to feel inadequate. And in my life, nothing makes me feel more inadequate than being a husband and a father. And a brother, I don't wanna confess. I don't wanna tell you my junk. I don't wanna be embarrassed.
Speaker 2:I don't want you to judge me. I don't want you to have something that you can hold over my head. I don't wanna worry if you're gonna go tell the guys what happened. I don't want to know what you'll think of me if I told you that I looked at porn last night. I don't want that.
Speaker 2:If I'm being honest, there's two reasons why I don't wanna do those things. Number one, I'm selfish. Simply put, I wanna do what I wanna do. And I don't want you to question me on it. I want to make the sarcastic comment.
Speaker 2:I want to sit on the couch and disengage. I want to go hang out with the bros and watch sports. I want to do what I want to do. The second thing is I'm terrified. Because trusting God means looking like a fool sometimes, and I don't wanna do that.
Speaker 2:Giving my wife the things that she wants to flourish, I don't want to make that sacrifice. I don't want to die to self. Because what happens if it doesn't work out? Is God really gonna take care of me? I want to protect my kids because I'm scared that they'll get hurt.
Speaker 2:I don't want to share with my friends because I'm scared that they're gonna laugh at me. I'm selfish and I'm scared. Both of those things lead me into passivity. And hasn't that been our problem all along? Being passive?
Speaker 2:Us just doing what we know we shouldn't do. Passivity never ends well. If you guys open open up your bible, Genesis two. Let's take a look. Genesis two fifteen.
Speaker 2:We're going back to the beginning. Everyone good? The Lord God took the man and he put him in the garden of Eden to work it and to take care of it. And the Lord God commanded the man, you are free to eat from any tree in the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil for when you eat from it, you will surely die. The Lord God said, it is not good for man to be alone.
Speaker 2:So he gave him a helper. There's two things here that I wanna point out. One, God put man in the garden to do two things, to work it and to take care of it. And the second thing is it is not good for man to be alone. Skip on down to chapter three verse one.
Speaker 2:You see, God's talking to the man the whole time, talking to the man, talking to the whole talking to the man. But when the serpent shows up, who does he start talking to? Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden? The woman said to the serpent, we may eat from the trees in the garden, but God did say you must not eat from the tree in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it or you will surely die.
Speaker 2:You will not surely die, the serpent said to the woman. For God knows that when you eat from it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God knowing good and evil. When the woman saw the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasure to the eye, it was also desirable for gaining wisdom. She took some and she ate it. You see the enemy is going after the woman.
Speaker 2:The woman. The woman. The woman. He's tempting her. Right?
Speaker 2:Next verse. She also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate it. So this whole time, Satan's talking to the woman. And what's the man doing? He's just chilling.
Speaker 2:He's passive. He's there. Like he is there. He's watching this happen, but he's disengaged. He's just standing around.
Speaker 2:Then the eyes of both of them were opened and they realized they were naked, so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and the wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord called the Lord God called to the man. Who did he call to? He said, where are you?
Speaker 2:He said, Adam where are you? Adam said, I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. So I hid. See, it was Adam's job to tend to the garden, and Eve was a part of that garden. He didn't work it.
Speaker 2:He didn't take care of it. Whenever God called him out, whenever he said, Adam, where are you? He said, I'm gonna hide. He deflected. He didn't show up.
Speaker 2:And God asks you a question today. He says, where are you? And I don't think this is a location question, but I think it's a heart question. So where are you today? What does your garden look like?
Speaker 2:What kind of garden do you want? You see, I'm a solo kind of guy. I can take care of myself. I don't need help. I've made it my life mission to not need anyone.
Speaker 2:Whenever you grow up without a dad around, tends to do that to you. Self sufficient. And that worked okay for the first forty years of my life or so, but something has happened over these last couple years. And in talking to older men, this tends to happen to everyone. You might call it a midlife crisis.
Speaker 2:I don't know what you want to call it. Between the ages of 35 and 45, something happens. And if you're older, you've probably gone through it. Maybe you're going through it today. If you're younger, it's coming.
Speaker 2:What worked then doesn't work now. And I can typically handle hard things for a while, but even I can't handle all of this. Am I getting weaker? Because I'm getting older, perhaps. But I think there's a couple more reasons.
Speaker 2:Number one, I don't think I realized how much the enemy wants to kill me. I think for a while in my twenties, maybe even in my thirties, he was fine. He's like, yeah, that's Zach Garza. He kind of loves the Lord a little bit, but he's fine. We don't really gotta worry about him.
Speaker 2:You start having a wife. You start having some kids. You start making some disciples. And all of a sudden, the enemy is like, hey, hey, hey, guys, guys, I think we gotta do something here. He's starting to stir some things up.
Speaker 2:You see, the enemy knows that if he kills me, he doesn't have to worry about my wife. He doesn't have to worry about my kids. If he kills me, it'll take care of itself. If he takes me out, it takes my garden out too. Or maybe you get disappointed in the Lord.
Speaker 2:Anyone disappointed in the Lord? A job promotion didn't work out. Your marriage isn't what you thought it would be. Maybe your kids aren't what you thought that they would be. You're like, God, I thought that you were good.
Speaker 2:God, I thought that you were for me, not against me. God, I thought I was supposed to be further along in my career than I am today. God, I thought that all of this money and all the success would bring me happiness. Or maybe it's the third thing, the allures of this world just seem to be better than God. I'll get to God later.
Speaker 2:I wanna make money right now. I wanna have successes. I wanna trust in myself rather than trust in the Lord. You see, in the last ten years, I've faced all those things. I'm just gonna kind of share with you some things that I've been through.
Speaker 2:And if I ask most men here who have lived some life, they've got tales like this. Because no one gets through this life unscathed. All of us men have arrows in our back from where the enemy tried to get us. You know, early on in my marriage, me and my wife, we lost two babies late term. Anyone have to had to be with your wife while they deliver a stillborn baby?
Speaker 2:Wouldn't wish that on my worst in me. My best friend turned his back on me, called me up one day, said, hey, man. I don't ever wanna talk to you again. We had spent a decade together doing life. He calls me up one day.
Speaker 2:It was a ninety second long conversation. Haven't talked to him since. My marriage has been the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I want there to be light in my wife's eyes. There is not light in my wife's eyes today.
Speaker 2:Depression, anger, all that stuff. And marriage is hard. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. My wife and I adopted a 15 year old only to watch him go to prison three years later. Hey, God.
Speaker 2:I thought that we were doing ministry. This is for you and this is how it turns out? I moved my family to a new job to a new city for a new job only to find out in about six weeks that that job wasn't gonna work out. So now I'm in a new city. I don't have any job options and I don't really know anyone.
Speaker 2:God, I thought following your voice, taking a leap of faith was gonna work out well. In this life, you will have trials. In this life, you will have trouble. You will have trouble. It's it's coming.
Speaker 2:How are you gonna respond? These things, they are impacting me. Whenever hard stuff hits, I run. Typically, I don't run to good things. I run to ease, I I escape.
Speaker 2:Maybe I drink too much. Maybe I look at things I shouldn't. I just want to numb myself. But that's not who I want to be. That's not gonna turn me into the man that I want to be.
Speaker 2:It's not helping my garden. Today, I'm talking about the fourth role, brothers. It is not good for man to be alone. Ben and I, couple other guys, where's Clifton went? We went to this men's conference this past summer, and the guy up on the stage said, being a brother is the most important thing in your faith.
Speaker 2:And I looked at him and I said, nah, Jesus is the most important thing. You're way off. Then he said, try to be a good husband and a good father. Try to follow Jesus on your own and see what happens. Oh, God.
Speaker 2:Maybe he's right. Maybe he's right. The Bible is clear in this, even Jesus needed brothers. That's why he had the 12, James, John, Peter, 12 disciples. If Jesus needs it, how much more do we?
Speaker 2:There's a ton of verses on this. Ecclesiastes four nine through 12 says this. Two are better than one because they have a good return. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. And pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them.
Speaker 2:If two lie down, they will keep each other warm. But how can one keep each other warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend a cord of three is not quickly broken. Simply put, you won't make it on your own. If you're trying to fly solo, good luck.
Speaker 2:It's not gonna end well. The temptation is to isolate yourself. Show me an isolated man, I'll show you a dead man. The temptation is to keep secrets. If you keep secrets, I promise it will corrode your soul.
Speaker 2:It will jack with you. Show me a man flying solo, and it's only a matter of time before he fails. This is the temptation. This is easy. It's not gonna end well.
Speaker 2:Having a brother being a brother, it's not easy. They will fail you. They will disappoint you. They will leave you. They will hurt you.
Speaker 2:But that does not mean that you don't need them. It's a consistent opportunity to learn how to forgive. It's a opportunity to learn how to give grace. It's an opportunity to love regardless of circumstances. You have to have brothers.
Speaker 2:And this takes time. This takes pursuit. This takes intentionality. And who in here has got time? So it's like the last thing I have.
Speaker 2:But you have to make it happen. All of these things are hard. I don't want to call Ben at 08:00 at night and catch up with him, but I do. Why? Because I know that if I don't, I will die.
Speaker 2:So what do I see whenever I see you guys? I see a bunch of men of God. I see godly husbands. I see generation changers. I see men who are walking in faith, men who are taking risks, men who are transforming communities.
Speaker 2:Like guy in the red hat, I have no idea who you are. I watched you worship and you have a pure heart. You are a man of God. And I don't know what you do, but I know that you are going to transform generations, not because of what you look like or not because of how much money you have, but because of your heart. I sat there and watched you worship the Lord today.
Speaker 2:I believe in you. Silas, I believe in you. I know what's gonna happen. I know the end of your story. I don't care if you go this way or if you go that way.
Speaker 2:I know how it's gonna end, and it's gonna end in generations loving the Lord. It's gonna end in your wife flourishing. Derrick Davidson, chain breaker. I see you. I see all the crap you go through, and you do not quit.
Speaker 2:And everyone's watching. Everyone's watching. And you're an example of what a man of God looks like. Terrence, is that your name? Where's Terrence?
Speaker 2:Terrence, man of peace right here. Stable, secure. Whenever everything's going crazy, people can depend upon you. That's what I see whenever I look into your eyes. There's something in you, Terrence.
Speaker 2:Is that your name? Yes, sir. Thank you. There's something in you. And it's it's you're you're a man that other men want to follow.
Speaker 2:This guy right here, Dylan Meek. The city of Waco is going to be different because of you. But you can't do it on your own. You will only become all that God has for you in the company of brothers. I got five things that a brother does.
Speaker 2:Guys take notes because Chad GPT said this was good. A brother encourages. I was lost. I was 28 years old. I was single.
Speaker 2:Anyone here in there single and want more than anything to be married, that was me. I thought I was gonna marry a girl. She dumped me. I didn't have any friends. Some guy said, you should go to this discipleship school called Caleb.
Speaker 2:I went, met Todd McDowell, met Steve Allen, met Don Finto. And I walked in, I'm six eight, obviously. All of this, you know, I like to work out because I like to look like I have it all together, and I really don't. It's all a facade. Maybe not now.
Speaker 2:Now I'm just kind of fat. But, I walked in and I grew up without a dad around. I had never been hugged by a man before in a positive way. I had never had a man speak words into me. I walk into the door.
Speaker 2:I'm hanging out. Don Finto sees me and he comes running up to me. He's 86 years old. He grabs me by the shoulders. He shakes me.
Speaker 2:He starts laughing in my face. He gives me a kiss on the cheek. He gives me a hug. He holds it for way too long. And he says, I am so glad you're here.
Speaker 2:I'm so glad you're here. And whenever he held me in his arms, something in me broke. The next couple weeks, I start talking about, I'm not sure if I want to follow Jesus or not. And Don sticks his finger in my chest and says, you, you are a man of God. Quit jacking around with all that stuff.
Speaker 2:Take sin seriously. Start becoming what you never had. I believe in you. He encouraged me. Call it a mentor, call it a spiritual father.
Speaker 2:Have men, older men who can encourage you. Men, we don't really need your advice. We need your encouragement. Have men that will strengthen you. At this Caleb company, just for some context, if you guys feel weird in this room with guys having their hands up and whatnot, I I went to this discipleship school and I was raised church Christ, if anyone knows who that is.
Speaker 2:Super conservative. If you wore shorts to church, you were going to hell. And I walk in and Todd McDowell, where's Todd? Todd's marching around, speaking in tongues, banging a drum, bum bum bum. And I'm like, what the did I get myself into?
Speaker 2:Right? And it's the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. Ben's over here, like, and I'm just like, what is going on? This is nuts. This is nuts.
Speaker 2:And so I'm I'm freaked out and I'm stuck at this school. Right? And I don't have anywhere to go. And I'm conservative. And these guys are speaking in tongues and giving words of prophecy.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, you're y'all are all crazy. Steve Allen pulls me aside, says, hey, here's where in the Bible it says, this is okay. For the next two weeks, he walks me through the Holy Spirit. I had no idea. And something caught my attention this this this prophecy.
Speaker 2:I'm like, what's prophecy? I heard that's weird. And Steve's like, it's just words of encouragement. It's just guys feel something from the Lord and they just share it for your encouragement. And I said, I want that.
Speaker 2:He said, okay. Well, why don't you pray? God give me give me a word. You know, I'm intense. The next Sunday at church, I'm sitting there minding my own minding my own business.
Speaker 2:Steve gives me an elbow and says, hey, you see that guy over there? He's the most prophetic guy I've ever met. You should go talk to him. And I'm like, great. Because how I thought it worked is like, you just walk up.
Speaker 2:He's like, word of prophecy. And then I left and my life's changed. So I wait in line for this guy. And as I'm waiting in line, I get to him finally thinking this guy is gonna give me a word that's gonna transform my life. And he says, hey man, my wife's waiting in the car for me to go eat lunch.
Speaker 2:I gotta go. And I'm like, what the f like, you've you've got this superpower and you're not gonna use it on me? And I was mad. Surprise, surprise. And, so I left.
Speaker 2:I said, Steve, this is all BS. The next day, I didn't know it, but, Don had arranged or or Todd had arranged for this guy to come speak at the at the school. So I walk in, like, oh, great. It's the guy. And he speaks about the history of Israel for two hours.
Speaker 2:And I'm like, this is the most boring thing I've ever heard in my entire life. Like, you've you had this superpower and you're talking about Israel. Like, why don't you just give me this word? He was supposed to end at 11:15. We're supposed to eat lunch at 11:30.
Speaker 2:About 12:30 comes around, we still haven't eaten lunch, and I'm mad. I'm hungry. I'm disappointed. And I just want to eat. He finishes up, and he says, hey, guy in the red shirt, will you pray for us?
Speaker 2:Yeah, sure. Hey, God, thank you for this guy. Thank you for Israel. Thank you for lunch, Lord. We love you.
Speaker 2:Amen. And he says, hey dude in the red shirt. And Ben grabs his phone, starts to record it. He said, I can't underestimate the power of a prophetic blessing. Jacob blessed his tribes and they're still running today.
Speaker 2:You that were praying, you in the red shirt, I just wanna encourage you. I wanna strengthen you as you've been trying to get your button unstuck for a long time. The reason your button has been stuck is because of your upbringing. Things that have happened to you in the past and how you were brought up and some of the twists and turns in your road have been very painful. It's very hard to venture outside of that sometimes.
Speaker 2:When you were praying, I saw the Lord unsticking your button and answering that prayer. Then he starts praying. And I'm looking at it, I'm like, what are you talking about bro? Unsticking button? And Ben and Todd are all like, oh baby.
Speaker 2:Starts praying again. This is your year of reset of retooling. God is in your life. I'd like to encourage you as a father. The will of God is not a finite little line that you're gonna step off of any minute and displease him.
Speaker 2:I think the will of God is so broad for you to fall down and not miss it because the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and you are a good man. You're gonna delight in the ways of God as David talked about. As your steps are ordered, God is gonna fulfill his purposes for your life. He starts praying. He comes back.
Speaker 2:Let me encourage you. Let me strengthen you because some of the things that you're wrestling with goes back generations in your family line. And God is already doing work on that. He's gonna break the umbilical cord. He said, God is a father.
Speaker 2:He said, there's a care and nurturing anointing on your life in the realm of fatherhood and there's gonna be a day in your life when people are going to say, he was the most incredible father. And what you have not received as a father, you're gonna become 100 fold over. You will be known in your lifetime as an older man as a father. Father in the natural and in the spiritual, and an innovator as a father because fathers innovate. And when he said that, I lost it.
Speaker 2:I was 28 years old. I hadn't cried since I was 13. That's a true story. I had held everything in. My biggest fear was that I was not gonna get married and I was not gonna have kids, because that's the only thing I wanted.
Speaker 2:When he said you're gonna be a father and then natural I broke. It will be said of you, wow, he sure did nurture pastor and father as well. Your heart is made for it. Like David, he was a warrior, a musician, a failure. He was a lot of things.
Speaker 2:But most importantly, he was a shepherd and pastored the flock of God. He fathered them. He was an innovator. He brought new things into the temple of God, into the culture. He said, something happened when you're 12 or 13, something traumatic, and things were hard on you.
Speaker 2:It has caused a weight, and the Lord said, it is not his weight. God has broken the chain. You are and will be more than a conqueror in Christ. Whenever the Lord gave me that word, my life has never been the same. Whenever I get down, I listen to that word.
Speaker 2:Whenever I'm discouraged, I read this word. Whenever I'm going through it, I call Ben and Ben reminds me of that word. It strengthens me. Our words have power. The third thing a brother does is he commits to you.
Speaker 2:You know, he's there through thick and thin. I just gotten married and good Lord, my marriage was hard. We adopted a kid three months into a marriage. Great idea. And it was hard.
Speaker 2:It was very hard. And I was freaking out. And I knew that I needed brothers or else I wasn't gonna make it. And Ben and I weren't very good friends. We weren't.
Speaker 2:But I said, who's the most godly guy I know my age? It's Ben DeBose. And I pursued him. I called him and said, hey, Sarah and I are coming to Nashville. We're gonna spend some time with you.
Speaker 2:And for the next five years, every year we went to Nashville. And every year we connected. Ben and I, he's my brother. I have a lot of brothers, but Ben's my main man. There's no way I'd be here today if it wasn't for him.
Speaker 2:And we've had some awkward conversations. Hey, hey, Ben. Like, are we gonna like do this thing like like for like the long haul? Yeah, bro. Like, Ben just last week said, bro, we are running together.
Speaker 2:Me and you. We're doing this thing. Yeah. We are. Ben see me at my at at my worst, and he still shows up.
Speaker 2:We talk whenever Ben answers the phone, which is once every six months. If anyone knows Ben, that's funny. We, I mean, we text almost every day. We talk multiple times a week. And it's and it's okay with this.
Speaker 2:I don't get along the best with Ben. Like Ben like Ben isn't my like soulmate. Like he pisses me off a lot and I piss him off. But it doesn't matter. I don't care.
Speaker 2:He's my brother. He doesn't care if I like him. I don't care if I like him. His job is not to like me. His job is to make me look more like Jesus.
Speaker 2:Some of you guys in here are sitting next to a dude and be like, I don't know. I don't know. He kind of annoys me a little bit. Welcome to life. Welcome to humanity.
Speaker 2:Okay. We don't have the privilege of being super picky. I don't know if you guys have checked outside. As of late, there's not a ton of godly dudes walking around. So find one and commit and have that weird conversation, have the manhood DTR.
Speaker 2:And then afterwards, y'all can call each other gay. It's cool. Hey, Jonathan and David. Jonathan and David. Have have y'all read that story?
Speaker 2:Jonathan was not some like was he was a warrior. He led armies. And Jonathan sacrificed his life because he saw something in David. And he said, I'm laying down my desires. I'm laying down my dreams.
Speaker 2:I don't care what happens to me. I'm dying for the betterment of my brother because I believe God is doing something in him that's going to transform nations. God, what a stud. The four things brothers do, they they comfort through community. Life is hard.
Speaker 2:You need guys who are surrounding you. My Castle Heights dudes, where you at? Yes, Lord. All of my neighbors are here. There's I mean, we're within six houses of each other.
Speaker 2:Where are my Adam twos? See you guys every week. Where are my men of valor? I guess it's just you now. But I am not alone.
Speaker 2:It is not good for man to be alone and I am not alone. Does that mean that I'm not gonna screw up? No. Alright. But I'm safeguarding myself because I'm surrounding myself with godly men.
Speaker 2:If I'm having a hard day and I can't contact Ben, I can call Dylan. If I can't call Dylan, I can call Michael. If I can't call Michael, I can call Daniel. If I can't call Daniel, I can call Sterling. If I can't call Sterling, I can call Jordan.
Speaker 2:If I can't call Jordan, I can call Stefan. If I can't call y'all, I can call Todd. I haven't talked I've talked to Todd three times in the last five years, but I know that if I call, he'll pick up. Surround yourself with mighty men. And the last thing is a brother corrects and refocuses.
Speaker 2:James five sixteen, have a brother that you can confess to. Anyone in here dealing with just ongoing sin? I just can't shake it. Confess and get prayed for and you will be healed. I know there's some guys in here who are going through some junk.
Speaker 2:I know there's some guys in here who have looked at some things they shouldn't have. I know there's some guys in here who have secrets. Guys, we're all jacked up. I'm talking. I'm jacked up.
Speaker 2:Clifton's talking. He's jacked up. Ben's talking. He's jacked up. Papa Don might not be.
Speaker 2:But we've all got junk. Yeah. Your junk might look different than mine. Still got junk? It was 5AM and I was at the gym.
Speaker 2:Me and my wife had just gotten in a huge fight and we went through a season where we're just it was bad. And I looked at something I shouldn't have. I was down. Woe is me. Got on Instagram, and it's not good.
Speaker 2:I was working out in this gym and I was it was it it was on me. It was on me. I was like, God, I gotta call Ben. I called Ben at 05:15 in the morning. I went outside.
Speaker 2:It was cold outside. I I I I remember this well. And I called and said, hey, man, what's up? I had, hey dude, I just gotta I just gotta tell you something. Sarah and I got a fight last night, and I looked at something I shouldn't have.
Speaker 2:And Ben goes, hey bro, it's fine. That's not who you are, And I love you. And we're not gonna do it again, but it's fine. I got you. There's been many times whenever Ben has called me out.
Speaker 2:Hey dude, what you told me about whenever you and Sarah got in a fight, and you said it was her fault, I actually think it's really your fault. He said something the other day. He's like, hey, do you know how people experience you? Like, no. It's like, yeah, you're freaking huge.
Speaker 2:Stop yelling at people. Proverbs twenty seven six, faithful are the wounds of a friend. Right? When was the last time you had a friend tell you something that you didn't wanna hear? Guys, we need that.
Speaker 2:Like, I need men to tell me when I'm being selfish, when I'm being an idiot, when I'm being prideful. I need that. But you have to give permissions. Sometimes you have to seek that out. Hey, Thomas, is there anything that you see in me that's not godly?
Speaker 2:And then you wait. Sometimes it comes and sometimes it doesn't. But you have to let men in. If you're a real man of courage, like I I can't think of something that's more courageous than that. Like, good Lord, that's hard.
Speaker 2:Who wants to do that? King David messed up with Bathsheba. Right? And he was pretending like everything was okay until who showed up? Nathan.
Speaker 2:And Nathan called him out. And how does David die? He dies a godly man. Why? Because Nathan called him out.
Speaker 2:Because Nathan put David's godliness above what David thought about him. That's a stud right there. I am where I am today because of men like that. These men helped me. They helped me tend to my garden.
Speaker 2:They helped call out things that are destroying my garden. And I know what some of y'all might be thinking. Well, yeah, you can do that, but I can't. I'm too shy. I don't have enough time.
Speaker 2:I'm introverted. But you can overcome all of those excuses. It's not like I woke up one day and I was just best friends with all these guys. No. I I made it my aim to surround myself with godly friends.
Speaker 2:And I'm I'm not trying to brag. I'm, I want you to have what I have. It takes a lot of work. But why did I do it? And here comes the fun part.
Speaker 2:I actually didn't do it for me at all. I did it for my wife. Because I know that if I keep in contact with Stephen Murray, then I'm gonna become more like Jesus. And that's better for Sarah. I did it for my kids because more than anything, I want to be a man of God.
Speaker 2:I want my kids to say I had the best father. And I can't do that unless I hang out with guys like Preston Reese. You gotta find these dudes and look around. You might be sitting by some of them today. It's your choice.
Speaker 2:You have the opportunity to help each other. You can choose encouragement over sarcasm. You can choose to open up or to hide. You can choose to bless or to gossip. I encourage you to choose the right thing today.
Speaker 2:So how about you? Where are you? The question God asked Adam, I ask you today. Where are you? Who is helping you tend to your garden?
Speaker 2:Who are you letting in? Are you shrinking back? Are you paralyzed with fear? Are you pretending like all is okay? Are you stuck in guilt and shame and sin?
Speaker 2:I wanna ask three questions. Number one, does Jesus have your whole heart? Is he really Lord of your life? Every area. Is your wife getting your all?
Speaker 2:Would she say that you're a pleasure to be married to? Is she the most important person in your life? Would she say she's the most important person in your life? Are your kids getting your best or are they getting your leftovers? If you want the question to all those things to be yes, you gotta have brothers.
Speaker 2:Here's the most important part of what I'll say today. I've got some bros who will encourage me, who will strengthen me, who will comfort me. They send me podcasts. They send me advice. They send me quotes.
Speaker 2:I love it. It's good. It's helpful. Very helpful. But the best brothers I know, they point me to Jesus.
Speaker 2:Because brothers by themselves is not the answer. Brothers who point you to Jesus, that's the answer. Because Jesus is the one who will never leave you. Jesus is the one who won't forsake you. Jesus is the one that you really need.
Speaker 2:I want you to close your eyes. One of my main prayers today is that you would see yourself how the Lord sees you. And I want you to know how he sees you today. He doesn't see your sin. He doesn't see your junk.
Speaker 2:He doesn't see your failures. He sees a son. And if you have children, how do you see your son? I know whenever I see my son, I'm so proud. I don't even have words to tell him how proud I am.
Speaker 2:And I do not care what he does. I just love him. And I would move heaven and earth for him. And I would die for him. And I will protect him.
Speaker 2:And I will provide. And I will do anything I can failures. You're not your past. You're not your past. You're not your sin.
Speaker 2:You are a son, and God is good. If you don't have a father, if you've never heard these words, receive the father's blessing today. He loves you. He is for you. He has a plan for your life.
Speaker 2:With him, you can do the impossible. And he wants to see you thrive as a son. He wants to see you be the most godly husband you can be, the most intentional, faithful father you can be. He wants to see your wife thrive, your children thrive, your family be a generational blessing. And he wants to do that through you.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Jesus. Thank you that you love us. Thank you that you are a perfect father. Amen.