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Rebbe Nachman didn’t come to make us “more religious.” He came to make us more real.
Rav Shlomo Katz opens the “treasure chest” of Rebbe Nachman’s Torah — teachings that heal the inner storm, settle the mind (yishuv hadaas), and draw down peace and truth into our homes, our relationships, and our own hearts.
Okay, boker tov everyone, good morning, thank you for coming. Chodesh Iyar, we are learning le'ilui nishmas נחום שמעון בן יצחק אריה sponsored by the Kram family and by the Silvers in honor memory of בתיה פיגא בת ישראל anonymously in memory of all the holy hayalim שנהרגו על קידוש השם and the ones that are continuously protecting us. Hashem should give them koach and a lot of strength and feel all the love of Am Yisrael. The week is sponsored by Mindy Barad, refuah shleimah for the holy chayal who was injured this past Shabbos in Lebanon, Eliyahu ben Smadar.
By the Lukan and Aman families in memory of Sarah's grandfather חיים יצחק בן דוד. By Regina Warshawski in honor of her brother, our dear friend, the doctor, Reb חיים שלמה פטר ורשבסקי's birthday. Happy birthday and refuah shleimah. By the Deutches, le'ilui nishmas Avrom's grandparents שרה בת יוסף זאב and אברהם אבא בן זכריה and other family members who perished in Auschwitz on 24 Iyar.
Today is sponsored by Meira, by Meira, kol hakavod, in memory of your dear friend Gittel Neidel, Neidel, whose first yahrtzeit is 25 Iyar. She loved learning and was full of love for the Jewish people. She brought many couples together to build beautiful Jewish homes.
תהא נשמתה צרורה בצרור החיים.
Okay, we're learning Rebbe Nachman inside today. We're going inside the Rebbe, if you have Likutey Moharan please open up to page, I should have told, it doesn't matter, I have it printed, but I know it feels gishmak that you actually have a sefer and we don't learn it inside. But if you can open up please to the second part, that's tinyana, meaning the second part of Likutey Moharan, Torah mem-ches. I'm very excited about today's learning.
I'm always excited for this shiur, but don't tell the men, but this has been like my favorite shiur of the week this month. One sheet, one sheet for everyone. In our context, why it's important to learn this Torah today. I feel it's very, very important for us to get a certain word.
I want to aim at a certain word today. And that word, in the context of our shiur of On the Path to Tranquility and Peace, which is what we're trying to tune into, all the Rebbe's teachings that we're learning, is the word composure. Composure is a very desirable state of being, state of mind, composure. Gaining composure.
Because without composure it's very difficult to feel shalva, to feel tranquility, to feel shalvas hanefesh, tranquility of the heart. It's very, very difficult. Now what do you think would normally get a person to lose composure? The sirens. Oh, okay, okay.
That's it becoming emotionally dominated. And becoming emotionally dominated by, you could be emotionally dominated by love. So let's try to get a bit clearer because it's an important one. What do you think would generally be a cause for losing composure? A person's triggered.
Triggered, a million percent. What else? I think also if people, when one believes that everything's in my ability and forgetting that Hashem's part of it and things don't work out the way you are, then very easily you'll lose it. How many times do things work out the way that we thought it was going to work out? Like how many times do things actually happen exactly the way we think they're going to happen? You stop for a second and you think about it, kimat never. Kimat never, because usually they work out much better than the way we planned when they work out for the tovah.
Then, when they don't work out the way that we planned it, it's suddenly, in a bad way we lose our sense of oh my god what's happening here, how could this be? Now, when a person is actually engaging in a relationship with Hakadosh Baruch Hu, Rebbe Nachman famously, this is a very famous piece, warns about what happens to a person that's not in, doesn't remember that the point is to stay composed. That you have to have, which of course you could also tie into the labeling of yishuv hadaas, of settling of the mind. But it's the ability, we have chevra, we see people all the time that sometimes they're flying so high, then they sink so low, like there's no balance. at all.
And that's just their teva, that's their teva to be just, maybe you call them neshamas from olam hatohu, you know, maybe you can call that tohu neshama. But there's a, there's a great, great aspiration to have as a Breslever chasid. Now this teaching that we're going to be seeing today, I'm, I'm reluctant to say that it's exactly the same thing, but there's definitely a kesher. You know the word from the Baal Shem, the Baal Shem's famous teaching about histavus, hishtavut? In English that's equanimity.
That means שויתי ה' לנגדי תמיד, right? That, that nothing can really, that's definitely the roots of composure, that nothing could ever move me, like, completely uproot me, no matter how crazy the wind is, as the tzadikim once explained, and it's great to say this 'cause today's the last day of the, of the sefira of, of yesod. It's malchus shebeyesod. So yesod literally means foundation, right? That means that if a root, let's take a, let's take a tree. If a tree, as long as the tree is still connected to its root, no matter what wind comes and blows the leaves and the branches to any direction, as long as it's still connected to the yesod, akol yiheye beseder, everything will be okay.
No matter what kind of wind comes. And am yisrael for all these years have still been connected to our yesod. How do we know? Because we still exist. That, that's the pshat, pshat.
But when it comes to us thinking about what does Hashem think of me, you can go on such a rollercoaster and lose composure. And our inyan here in this Torah is to gain composure and, but, a, just, a warning about today's teaching: this, you need to remember today's Torah after you're sitting in a classroom, 'cause while you're, while you're sitting in a classroom learning the words of the tzadik, and you get high off of this, that's nice and I hope everyone gets a lot from what we're going to be seeing today, but the inyan really is when I leave the classroom. That's like today more than ever. Okay? Keep that in mind.
Let's learn inside: ליקוטי מוהרן תנינא מ"ח אות א. And I'm sure you've seen, you must be you've seen context, like references of this teaching over the years and here and other sefarim and different places 'cause this is a key teaching, right? And we're going to learn it today, we've learned a piece of it over the years, today we're going to look at it really inside. Tinyana Mem-Chet: כשאדם נכנס בעבודת השם. When a person's enter- enters into the journey of serving Hakadosh Baruch Hu.
אזי הדרך שמראין לו התרחקות. Wow. The Rebbe says like this: it seems the way that Rabbi Nachman's saying this is that the first thing, not along the way, but the first thing that a person so to speak is shown from above, which means what you're feeling in your heart is that when you took on something, davka when you take on something in the terms of godly service, כשאדם נכנס בעבודת השם, so the path that they show you immediately is it's going to take you so long. Mar'in lo hisrachakus.
Or it could- or you could explain it to be, mar'in lo mar'in lo hisrachakus, meaning that you're much further than you thought you were. You're much further than you thought you were. That's a, that's an upper, no? That's, that's great like, I'm engaging, I'm committed, I'm in, I'm part of the, I'm part of this mishpacha, I'm going for it. And the first thing you're told, the first thing you're shown, you know, Breslovers, real Breslovers, they do a diyuk on every word the Rebbe chose to say.
Mar'in lo, they show him hisrachakus, they show him distance. Venidmeh lo, and then a person starts to feel shemarchikin oso milmalah. Ribono Shel Olam, You're not really interested in- in me. You're not really interested in what I have to offer, You're not interested in what I want, You're not interested in me engaging in- in this divine godly service that I'm hopefully attaching myself to.
ואין מניחין אותו כלל להכנס לעבודת השם. And these thoughts prevent a person from even taking one step forward. Triggered and you- and you're gevald-ly triggered. What are you triggered by? You almost feel like what a chutzpah, I am- I showed up, I- I signed the brochure, I paid membership, whatever it is, right? I'm in, and now You're showing me, the Rebbe says that he's saying this...
almost as a klal, that they're telling you from Shamayim you're not in, and you're actually much further than you thought you'd be. And then these thoughts, this imagery begins to cause a person to feel that אף אחד לא מעוניין בו, that no one's interested. No one's interested and not only that, even if I wanted to go in deeper in a relationship with Hashem, lo manichim lo. But the Rebbe says here be'emes, but that's on the outside, but in truth, and you must must must remember this: כל ההתרחקות הוא רק כולו התקרבות.
These words are, these words have saved lives, okay? These words, these words of the Rebbe have mamash saved people's lives. Again, be'emes kol hahitrachakut, that thing you're feeling, it is true that you're feeling it. The Rebbe is saying, like this is what I love so much about the Rebbe, he gives space, so much space for the hardship that one feels, for the pain that one feels. Mamash, mamash.
That that I think that's like to me and I'm sure to many others, that's the invite from the Rebbe. It's like saying, I am not going to be one of those people that tell you ata chai b'seret, you're living in your head, you're, you know, the Rebbe is such a rachman, he's such a compassionate soul master that he's saying no no no no no, be'emes it's true you're feeling hitrachakut, that's true. But know that despite the fact that this is hitrachakut, in a larger context, this is all rak kulo hitkarvut. This is actually the way that one gets closer.
Now it's interesting we're learning this during Sefirat Ha'omer because in essence we left Mitzrayim and we're like, okay let's go get the Torah, okay let's go to Eretz Yisrael. And Hashem says, not so fast. So you could say, you could say wow, the Ribbono Shel Olam, lo manichin oto. You could substitute the words Eretz Yisrael for in this first paragraph: כשאדם נכנס בדרך לארץ ישראל אז הדרך שמראין לו התרחקות ונדמה לו שמרחיקין אותו מארץ ישראל מלמעלה ואין מניחין אותו כלל ליכנס לארץ ישראל ובאמת כל ההתרחקות בארץ ישראל היא רק כולה התקרבות לארץ ישראל.
You could say that, mamash you could say that. Zos omeret, we thought, we were under the assumption we're heading towards Yerushalayim. Hashem, aren't you interested in Jews that have a desire to come close to Yerushalayim, to Eretz Yisrael? It's erev Yom Yerushalayim today. No, the Rebbe says, I am I'm not I'm not doing a psychological trick on you to make you feel validated.
The Rebbe is saying no no no no no, it is hitrachakut. What you're feeling is real, but don't label the final result of what you're feeling as hitrachakut, this is hitkarvut. But it's just not the way that you would have chosen to define your journey of getting close, it's my way, it's Hashem's way. Yeah.
Let me just share an image that I have in my head right now. I take the train once a week to Mercaz and when you take the train and want to use the elevators there, everybody's standing outside waiting waiting waiting and then they like smush in. So the image that I have is that if only one would move away, meaning move away from me, right, then I will have room to step in. And that's what you have here, like when one moves away you create a void and then that's the only way that you can move forward.
You can't move forward if it's all if it's all full. Yafa. Yafa. Chazak.
Chazak. There will be a lot of imagery in the in these words, no no, because these are the words of the Tzaddik Emes. These words, you suddenly see, of course, I see this here, I see this here, I see this here. You know, it's hard like if someone will come to this shiur and be like I don't know what he's talking about, I don't really feel hitrachakut, none of us would be like I don't know.
Huh? Ata chai b'seret. Ata chai b'seret. No, ani. Good luck.
Enjoy the smooth sailing delusional metzius you live in. V'tzarich, so the Rebbe continues and he says: וצריך התחזקות גדול מאד מאד לבלי ליפול בדעתו חס ושלום. The only thing is, I the Rebbe says I could tell you this is hitkarvus, but until you start feeling it and sensing it, you have to be very very careful and you need a lot of strength to make sure not to fall in your da'as. Falling in your da'as means coming to conclusions and signing off with them and saying this is what it is.
This is hitrachakut and I'm gonna stay here. Kshe'roeh, when a person sees, כשעוברים עליו כמה וכמה ימים ושנים, I see how many years and days have passed שהוא מתייגע ביגיעות גדולות בשביל עבודת השם. Let's take learning for instance. A person took upon themselves to try to become a learner, to learn how to learn, to get used to the loshon of learning.
Last Shabbos, Bechukosai, Rashi tells us famously, אם בחוקותי תלכו שתהיו עמלים בתורה. Amelim means toiling, working. So the Rebbe says, let's say a person took on learning, they want to understand how to learn, they want to learn how to learn. It's not just for ba'alei teshuvah.
Many people that grew up frum, they didn't learn the methodology of learning, of how to learn, but there's this almost this silent pressure, that subconsciously, it's not really coming from anyone but themselves, that they should know how to learn because they grew up Orthodox. But then they decided at a certain point in life, I actually want to start learning how to learn, and you put in so much work and effort, and the Rebbe says at the end of the second line of the second paragraph, ועדיין הוא רחוק מאוד, and you're still so far. You've been learning—this speaks about ulpan also, if your inyan with ulpan is spiritually motivated L'hischaber l'sefas hakodesh, and not just to be able to know how to shop, but L'hischaber l'sefas hakodesh, you could say—I don't know if anyone had this experience, I'm going to ulpan, I'm going day after day, month after month, year after year and it's still, still not so clicking. Yeah? Okay, you're there.
You're still not clicking. Six times. Then you hear your kids, they're in Eretz Yisroel for two weeks, they'll speak better than you'll ever speak, right? So you say, Hashem, maybe Hashem's not interested in the ameilus, in the work that I'm putting in. Why? Because in our minds, if I give you something Hashem, I work—if I'm working hard for You, we don't—we don't say this, but there's a silent protest, there's a silent scream that says: How could You not answer my prayer? How could You not make whatever I'm working hard on accessible or easier? How could You not? Not only not—You're not making it easier, it feels like You're pushing me away.
It feels like You're not even interested in this.
ועדיין הוא רחוק מאוד. Third line, second paragraph, ולא התחיל כלל להיכנס לשערי הקדושה. And a person feels, the Rebbe says, a person—that you haven't even gone, you haven't even entered the gates of holiness.
Because how does a person know if they've entered the gates of holiness or not? So the Rebbe says, what's your self-image?
כי רואה עצמו שהוא מלא עדיין עביות וגשמיות והרהורים ובלבולים גדולים. Let's go one by one. Because a person looks at themselves and they see they're still filled with aviyus. Does anyone know what that word means? Density? Density, thickness.
It's milashon avei. Yeah. Thick, right? It means density, that's true. Not having an understanding and what's going around.
Brain fog. Brain fog. You're—you're clogged. You're clogged with something that's not—it doesn't give space for what you really want.
But you're also filled with gashmius, so you still have—have certain mundane ta'avos that you wish you didn't have. V'hirhurim, hirhurim means like deep contemplative thoughts that confuse you, uvilbulim gedolim and great confusion. You haven't become clearer. You took upon, let's say, learning, okay? Or let's say you took upon yourself to start davening once a day or—it doesn't matter what it is.
Any step towards a—towards your shoresh neshama. And the outcome so far is that you see you're not filled—you're still filled with all the things that are still confusing you, even though on an action level you're doing what you're doing, the holy—the holy stuff you're doing, but on an inside level of the thoughts and all those things, you're still filled with aviyus and gashmius. Just as a side note, but it's still very much—it's not really a side, it's—it's an inside note, it's just that it has to do with the last three shiurim is that the most incredible hisbodedus is when a person actually brings this up in hisbodedus. Like when these—when this is the topic of conversation.
Hashem, I don't understand. I am coming closer to You and—and you admit that this is all the things that you're sensing and feeling. In hisbodedus, these things are very, very powerful.
וכל מה שהוא רוצה לעשות בעבודת השם איזה דבר שבקדושה אין מניחין אותו, and anything I try to take on in Avodas Hashem, it feels as if no one is letting me.
ein manichin oso. Now again, who doesn't let the person do things in avodas Hashem? tzarich iyun. Is it your when it says ein manichin oso meaning they don't let him just be okay and move forward and start doing holy work. What's, who's the ein? Or a person? So a person's thoughts tell him it's from Shamayim.
Shamayim is saying: wait, that's not how really we work; it's more your thoughts because we don't push people away. But the Rebbe says: but it is true that what you're feeling is what you're feeling. And that's why it's so powerful. Many of us that have had hard times in life, struggles with regarding self-image, all types of, all types of thoughts that like the Rebbe brings up here, unfortunately we did meet some chakhamim along the way that told us to snap out of it.
You're living a, you know, just the whole thing is just your, your perception, you just have to change the way you think about yourself. It doesn't really work. lo nachon. Those things don't, those eitzas don't really get- oh, I should stop thinking like this? Thank you for telling me, now I'm going to stop thinking like this.
These things don't really work. That's not the way it works. The Rebbe is creating this space to say: listen, it's what you're- it's true what you're feeling, but in the truth of the truth there's a bigger thing going on and don't let go while you're on the way. You're going to feel these things.
You're going to feel these things.
ונדמה לו כאילו אין השם יתברך מסתכל עליו כלל ואין רוצה כלל בעבודתו and the Rebbe says a Yid like this feels that Hashem is not looking at him at all. He's looking at everyone else's davening, he's looking at everyone else's tzedakah, he's looking at everyone else's tikkun hamiddos but Hashem's not looking at mine and He doesn't want my avoda, He's not interested in my serving Him.
מחמת שהוא רואה שהוא צועק בכל פעם ומתחנן ומתנפל לפניו יתברך שיעזרהו בעבודתו because the person sees that he's screaming every day, he's begging Hashem help me with my avodas Hashem.
ואף על פי כן עדיין הוא רחוק מאד מאד. Now the Rebbe said the word twice, right? meod meod. This is the second time he's already said the word twice, meod twice.
על כן נדמה לו כאילו אין השם יתברך מסתכל עליו כלל ואין פונה אליו כלל כי הוא יתברך אין רוצה בו כלל when the Rebbe becomes repetitive, which happens sometimes in the teachings in the Likutey Moharan, it is not a typo, it's the Rebbe trying to drill a point that you maybe under the assumption you really understood but when the Rebbe repeats it, it's to drill it home.
The, the result of the person going through this meshugas in their mind is that Hashem is not interested in me. Okay, so in the Torah when did we have, when did we have this feeling as an am? How do we know, like when did we- when did we experience this? Reminds me of a convert. It's like you push them away until they could convert. Ah, okay, now I'm talking about as a whole people.
Like when did we- when did we feel this? kimat a whole people. Maybe, we don't know. In the midbar? Huh? When in the midbar? slav? slav? Why? What happened with the slav? Because it felt like it was not- it was better in Mitzrayim, that God didn't care about us anymore. Okay, but I'm going more directed towards the concept of God's not interested in us bichlal.
Not that He's not as good as He could be, but He's not interested in us. Chet ha'egel. Why? They waited for Hashem, they thought that maybe He wasn't coming. Interesting, okay, that's- I didn't think about that.
Water? Yeah, they didn't find- no, those are, those are, those are complaint- those are- those are very listen lo chaser tlunos, you know there are plenty of kvetching going on as in the midbar. But I'm speaking more about what the Rebbe is saying over here. That it seems that Hashem is just not interested in us. Not that He's not so as good as He could be, but He's not interested in us.
Funny they came out and they're stuck, they don't see where they're supposed to go. We don't see it from the psukim, but the psukim- I'll just tell you the psukim in Sefer Devarim, Parshas Devarim that describe the am's response. the Cheit Hamiraglim, there it says B'sinas Hashem osanu, meaning it's almost like the Miraglim came back with the report which caused the crying that lasted for till now which resulted in Tisha B'av. But the way that Moshe Rabbeinu describes the whole episode there is exactly this this piece in the Likutey Moharan, which means that churban is rooted in being under the illusion that Hashem is not interested in you.
That's what the that's the root of destruction in your life is that you have come to a conclusion that God is just not interested in what I have to offer. And and you especially feel it when you've actually been trying to offer something, not when you've been debating and on the fence of should I do this should I not do this, but davka when I took something on. The the root of that is our Tisha B'av is our churban is the day the Miraglim came back reported what they reported got us all to cry. The lashon, I have it in Devarim here, Sefer Devarim, I'll try to find it later, you have to see it inside because the way that it's described there is that keilu that the Miraglim came back and and the result is that Hashem you're just trying to stick it to us, you're not interested in this dor in what we have to offer.
Now just to play with me for a second, like use the Lomdishe Kup for a second. Were they right? Were the was that dor right that said that thought to themselves you're not interested in what we have to offer at would they have like in the outcome of it were they right? Yeah. Well it's it's a tricky question because they didn't end up going into Eretz Yisrael. But why didn't they end up going but well why so why didn't they end up going into Eretz Yisrael? They wanted to be with Moshe, right? Yeah, pesukim.
So what's the lashon? In Chaf Zayin.
ותירגנו באהליכם ותאמרו בשנאת השם אתנו הוציאנו מארץ מצרים לתת אותנו ביד האמורי להשמידנו. Yeah, it's because of God's hatred to us he took us out of there to wipe us out over here. He's not interested in anything we have to offer, place we want to go to.
But that's that's now even the Torah is saying it's amazing the Torah is saying that is what you felt. It's true. Moshe Rabbeinu is saying this is what you felt. Nachon.
That's what they said in the midbar every single day. Nachon. You brought us out here to die, like why couldn't we die over there? Right but only the lashon here is so B'sinas Hashem osanu. It's it's you're so not interested.
Not only are you not interested, there it's even more charif. It's not like you're not interested and you're apathetic. Ela you hate us, Hashem you you hate us. A person can come to that conclusion when they try so hard to work on themselves and they don't feel that they're telling them okay come keep on going.
Because they don't see the outcome that they're expecting to see. Nachon. There's a lot of Nachon. Nachon.
Nachon. Okay so now let's continue. Hein next paragraph.
הן על כל אלו וכיוצא בזה צריך התחזקות גדול.
The Rebbe says you need to learn the Torah of strength. You need to strengthen yourself because anyone that's on a real spiritual path will eventually meet these thoughts. It's they're inevitable. They're inevitable.
They're going to happen to anyone that's on their way from their personal Beis Avadim which is Mitzrayim to Beis Habechira which is Yerushalayim. Anyone's going to work anyone's it'll happens to everyone. Therefore the Rebbe says הן על כל אלו וכיוצא בזה צריך התחזקות גדול לחזק עצמו מאוד מאוד ולבלי להסתכל על זה כלל. and don't look too much into the eye of meaning or into the vision that you see of Hashem not interested in you.
כי באמת כל התרחקות הוא רק כולו התקרבות כנ"ל בסימן זה. Because really this is actually the path of you getting closer it's just not the way that you thought things work. So this is bitul 101. Self-annihilation 101.
The way to you Hashem is not necessarily the way that I thought it was going to be. It's very hard people to get over you should know. I'm understating it it's it's you all know what I'm talking about it's one of the hardest things in the world to get over that even the good that comes to you and you say ah it it should have been in a real if it was really good it would have been like this Hashem says that's what you think oh okay. Okay.
אין אני והוא יכולים לדור יחד. we can't hang out together if this is the way, if this is your approach to life, Hashem says. Now the Rebbe says, you may think that the nebbuchs go through a struggle like this. That the ones that are less learned, the ones that are less educated, the ones that come from lower yichus, a lower state of spiritual lineage, maybe those are the people that go through things like this? No.
Look at the next paragraph. V'chol hanal, everything we described above, עבר על כל הצדיקים. Artscroll doesn't let us know about these things too much because they just... but really וכל הנ"ל עבר על כל הצדיקים.
I know how much chizuk I once got when I heard Reb Shlomo say in an interview that at a certain point in his life he felt so dejected from everywhere that he wanted to shave his beard, I think I told you this, cut off his beard and become a dishwasher at a diner in Dallas. I don't know why Dallas, maybe he was in, maybe he was on his way, lo yoda. And boruch Hashem he didn't, but just knowing that those are thoughts that go through people that end up doing big things, that's a, I don't know, to me it's a very... because I don't freak out when I, not that I've ever had a taiva to become a dishwasher in, I've had it, no, I've had a gevaltige taiva to become a backup rhythm guitarist in a, in a like a, a folk band in England.
That I have. I don't know why, just to sit in the back with a hat like this and just get to play rhythm guitar in a band. That I have, that I've had. Nachon.
So you can move forward. This is so important.
וכל הנ"ל עבר על כל הצדיקים.
כאשר שמענו מפיהם בפירוש, like we heard from their mouths literally, שנדמה להם שהשם יתברך אין מסתכל בפניו אליהם כלל, that it seems to them that Hashem is not looking at them, the tzadikim, at all.
Now Rebbe Nachman's like we heard from their mouths. Who, whose mouths did Rebbe Nachman hear from? Well, not the Baal Shem Tov died 12 years before he was born, but the next generation, and the second and third generation, the Rebbe told us that the greatest hisorerus he experienced in his life as a kid was that when they would come back to the Baal Shem Tov's house years after the Baal Shem Tov died and reminisce. So it must be that he was speaking, I mean, imagine what kind of tzadikim he heard from their mouths about how they felt, and they're students of the Baal Shem Tov, that they felt sometimes Hashem's not interested in me at all. How could you say such a thing to a talmid of the Baal Shem Tov? Yes, yes.
The Rebbe said we hear from their mouths these words. Was thinking that the, they have a bigger vessel, and sometimes like Rav Kook says, you know, every Jew has a big vessel and if you don't put it in kedusha then it can be in a lot of tum'ah in it. So it's like they have, they have a huge vessel to be able, so sometimes you just, it just looks so black, the other side inside it, because they have the capability. So you're saying that they, that they didn't fill their vessel? No, that it seems as if it seems, nidmeh right, right, that everything is dark and black, and it's just because their vessel is so big that it can.
That is why the Rebbe says nidmeh lahem. Nidmeh lahem. Nidmeh lo, nidme-li means I'm under the assumption. That's what nidme-li means.
Or illusion, but yeah. It seems like that. And when you look in a from a certain angle, that's what it looks like, and that's what they had. Look at this second line over here.
מחמת שהם שראו אלו הצדיקים שזה זמן רב שהם מבקשים ויגעים ועושים ועובדים עבודת השם יתברך, that they took upon themselves big avodas, like I don't know what exactly he's referring to here, but you could just think of anything. Back then, probably like fastings or like learning the whole Zohar or they took upon themselves big avodas, ועדין הם רחוקים מאוד מאוד. And yet they're still, so here it's amazing, here he says they're still very far. Doesn't say they still feel they're very far.
The Rebbe says ועדין הם רחוקים מאוד מאוד. And they're still very far. But the Rebbe says what's the difference between the tzadik that... goes through this and the nebach that goes through this.
ואילו לא היו מחזקין עצמם מאד לבלי להסתכל על זה but if they didn't strengthen themselves to stop looking like this at their lives, to start like Dahlia said since now, unless they hadn't they strengthened themselves to not look from that angle.
היו נשארים במקומם הראשון they would have stayed really in their first place where they started this whole journey ולא היו זוכים למה שזכו they wouldn't have ended up meriting what they merited. Now what did they merit? Each person in their own realm merited hitkarvut. Like wherever you're holding, that's what you ended up meriting.
But so the Rebbe says what's... he's saying what do you need in order to look in the eye of the storm? hitchazkut. So what's what kind of hitchazkut do you think the Rebbe's... what does that mean hitchazkut? To strengthen yourself? How? Keep going, keep learning, keep davening, keep hitbodedut-ing.
But what's the... what is the actual chozek that we're speaking about? That's the avodah but what's the hitchazkut in order to keep on doing all that? What I'm asking is like this. What is the... I'll try to sharpen my question.
What is the... what gives me the ability to not believe what my heart is telling me? It sounds insane, right? What gives me the strength, right, to not believe that which I've convinced myself due to what I see in front of me? Everywhere. I think friends. Chaverim, yeah.
I mean Dahlia, like zeh nachon. I'm saying what gives me the... what what kind of hitchazkut... like someone says okay, you need to go to the gym, you need to learn more, like what is the...
what is the exercise? What is it exactly? So okay, so Sara you're saying dibbuk chaverim, 100%. 100%. Don't we have to make space for ourselves to accept where we are at that moment? Acceptance. Right, but the danger is indulging in there.
So it's like acceptance for like a few seconds. And then, yeah. Also like moments of closeness. There are moments.
So when you collect those moments to remember them. To not deny them. Like what happens the Rebbe says in a different teaching... I don't think it's here...
in a different teaching he says that the the sad the saddest thing that happens to a person that goes through this is that when they look back at the at the close moments they start denying their existence. So שמירה על הרגעים היפים to guard them. Yeah. And also considering what the absence of that is.
In other words, I have a choice, you know, I mean to in my attitude and you know Hashem is there or Hashem isn't interested in me and where does that lead to and what kind of life do I have then and what does it look like? Is that what I want? And sometimes putting into perspective that there's two sides to the coin can help. Right, but I need I need chizuk to be able to do that. I'm talking about one step before because it's true what you're saying but I need strength in order to be able to do that. You understand? You're speaking already about a level that is already like thought out.
Well, I mean I think it's like, you know, okay, I'm feeling say like really as low as possible. Is this where I want to stay? It doesn't take strength... it takes... it doesn't take strength? It takes the greatest strength in the world to even ask that question.
Think about it. You know how much koach it takes to honestly ask and answer, is this really where I want to be? Takes utmost strength. And the Rebbe says צריכים לחזק את עצמו because if you don't strengthen yourself by when you meet the inevitable you're going to you're not even going to end up asking that question. It won't be even a question, be like whether I want to stay here or not, God told me this is where I belong and it's a delusion.
Hashem said this is this is your psak. You're not ready for the big leagues. Yeah, it's just like if you feel like you're being pushed into a low area that you're powerless to... Of course.
Betach. I'm not even going to ask did anyone ever feel that? Like I'm going to say did anyone ever not feel that? is more like a appropriate question sometimes. Betach. Betach.
Okay, v'haklal. Now for you the third word here you could change to achoti but the Rebbe writes... And the והכלל אהובי אחי חזק ואמץ מאוד ואחוז עצמך, grab onto yourself be'chol hakoach with all the strength that you have le'hishaer kayam ba'avodatecha to remain existent in the service that you did take on, ואל תחוש ואל תסתכל כלל על כל הנ"ל וכיוצא בזה. Now the Rebbe says, okay, we acknowledged you, we validated you, we gave you all the space to not think that you're meshugeneh, and now once you've done that, what does the Rebbe say? Veiter veiter.
You know what veiter means? Kadima. Yofi. We gave you this space, not denying that we're not saying you're insane, maybe it's true, maybe it's not true. The avodah is you have koach left in you, yeah.
Now really the answer, what is the koach? I'll tell you very clearly what the koach is. The koach that we need for the chizuk to not fall into these places is Azamra, is Reish Peh Beis. It's not this teaching, it's a different teaching which we have to get to as well. So that's really the koach.
Can you translate? Yeah, well I could, but it really is just a reference to a different teaching in Likutey Moharan, that's the real vitamin of strength which is lesson two eighty two, which we'll be'ezrat Hashem spend many years on. So here, here he's saying, okay, you got a little bit of koach. Now, are you brave enough to, he's not really saying ignore, he's just saying don't al tachush. Don't get freaked out by those voices.
You let them you let them speak sababa, don't get freaked out by them. Keep on going. Don't look at them. Just keep on going forward.
And the power is like knowing that it's going to happen. A hundred percent. So if you know that it's going to happen like a wheel going around, don't freak out when you been here before. Yeah, nachon nachon.
ואם אתה רחוק מאוד מאוד ממנו יתברך, the Rebbe goes back to, okay, but you're still feeling very very far, venidmeh lecha, and it seems to you שאתה פוגם בכל שעה ממש נגדו יתברך. Now he's speaking about a person, not the person that wonders how come things aren't working for me, I'm doing all the avodat Hashem that I should, and it seems like they're distancing me. Now he's speaking about a person that feels that they're blemishing their relationship with God, their covenant with God be'chol sha'ah ve'sha'ah, constantly.
עם כל זה כנגד זה תדע, you should just know, שאיש כזה שהוא מגושם כל כך, it's davka a person that's so megusham, megusham doesn't mean self that they're successful, megusham it means that they're so filled with gashmiut, davka a person like this שאיש כזה שהוא מגושם כל כך כל תנועה ותנועה, every single movement שהוא מנתק עצמו מעט מעט מגשמיותו ופונה להשם יתברך היא גדולה ויקרה מאוד מאוד.
The Rebbe says a person that be'emet, they really are completely consumed by their yetzer, davka by those people, when they just do a little tiny movement towards kedusha, that does a big reshimu mile'mala, because we know what the odds are against this person. A person like this, and that's why the Rebbe has so many chasidim that are the most started off as the most like the furthest, the ones that were the greatest blemishers in whatever areas they were blemishing, because they saw tzaddik that saw them and said you should know. Let's say you're you smoke on Shabbos, okay let's take that as an example, but you decided that from this Shabbos on, you're not going to smoke between two and four, lo yodea, I don't know, so the other Torah that's not this Torah, like the other vortlach would say what are you kidding me, you either keep Shabbos or you don't keep Shabbos? But the Rebbe always tried to focus on giving a person koach that the little bit that they refrain from, the little bit does a big big reshimu mile'mala, because they know in shamayim what kind of a person we're dealing with. So the echo effect, the the the aftermath of a person's like this avodat Hashem, the little bit they take on does big things lemala.
ואפילו נקודה קטנה מאוד, third from bottom line, ואפילו נקודה קטנה מאוד, even a small nekuda שהוא נעתק מגשמיותו אליו יתברך, that you are ne'etak, means removed. It says about... The pasuk ויעתק משם ההרה אל בית אל בית אל מים והעי מקדם. What's the who was that by? It's in the Torah.
It's in Breishis. Vaye'etek means you removed so you moved from a place so if you removed a little bit of gashmius towards Hashem Yisborach, right? Hu ratz bazei the Rebbe says for you like who said this one step for man Neil Armstrong we're doing raising the sparks for Neil Armstrong in shamayim.
הוא רץ בזה כמה וכמה אלפים פרסאות בעולמות העליונים. For you you decided to not mechallel shabbos for an hour on shabbos and the world may look at you and say you still be kidding me that's considered something you're either in or you're out.
The Rebbe I think and I pray like I'm not misleading in this teaching I'm just trying to think of it in a tachlis way for people that are stuck in this parsha. Those few minutes of taking away a gashmius of your life and saying here in this place I'm not pogem whatever it is it may seem like it's just a few minutes of not doing a chillul in this world but you should know something it's miles of miles of coverage in shamayim miles and miles of coverage in shamayim.
כאשר תבין היטב מן המעשה של הצדיק שהתגבר עליו מאד העצבות כמו אצלנו like there's a reference here to one of the stories from Rebbe Nachman's stories about a tzaddik who overcame his sadness.
ועל זה ישמח מאד ויחזק עצמו בשמחה תמיד כי עצבות מזיק מאד מאד.
So the Rebbe's saying sadness being sad over your spiritual state of being has never helped anybody. Shivron lev has helped opening of the heart has helped but sadness just l'shem sadness has never gotten anyone anywhere productive or real. V'da we end with this it's just in the middle of a teaching שתכף כשאדם רוצה לכנס בעבודתו יתברך. He says the Rebbe and the Rebbe says please know this because you have to keep this in handy when a person wants to go into becoming an ehrlicher yid to become an eved Hashem a servant of God.
אזי תכף היא עבירה גדולה שיש לו עצבות חס ושלום. Person has to remember atzvus is a great sadness is a great sin. Why's the Rebbe saying we're talking about becoming an eved Hashem why does the Rebbe have to warn about sadness? Very simple because the ba'al davar the other side sees that when a person's heart is opening towards Hashem and they're moving towards Hashem he can't stand it. So how is he going to get a person to be sad? He'll remind them of his aveiros he'll remind them of how far they are.
So the Rebbe says you can't avoid being reminded of these things but be so happy that now you look at those things as aveiros because now they go into the right category and don't indulge yourself thoughtwise and oh my god I can't believe that I did this and who am I to ever think that I could actually have anything better. Ki atzvus the Rebbe says he quotes from the Zohar כי עצבות היא סטרא אחרא. This is very powerful lashon sadness l'shem sadness meaning sadness that's not heart opening feeling is the other side it's mamash yoneik from the other side sitra achra it's from that dark place that has no light והשם יתברך שונא אותה and Hashem hates this. How's everyone feeling? Everyone's okay? I don't know it was too intense in here? It was okay? Are you okay? Yeah? Okay so listen this is just the this is just the hakdama for obviously what we have to continue and then getting to Azamra but the bottom line that I want to mesakeim for today is why why do we have to know a torah like this? It's part of our path because because this is the Torah.
This specifically going into sefer bamidbar right now where it's a book of a bunch of mistakes this is the this is life. The Torah is not a this book that tells you like you know when when life goes right this is how you act it's a torah of also when life goes wrong this is how this is how you act but to be able to be validated by the Rebbe about these bilbulim is a very big it's a very big thing it's a very big invite into his heart and into the fire that he said. Not just not working out, that we feel things have even gotten further. This is a Torah you have to remember I told you in the beginning of shiur, it's not a Torah for right now.
It's a Torah for when you leave the shiur. Right now you're sitting here you're learning Rebbe Nachman, it's Eretz Yisrael, kol beseder. It's now what happens when I leave a Rebbe Nachman shiur and I'm like are you kidding me I took this on and I feel like Hashem you're not it's זה לא עושה כלום it doesn't do anything good. I have to end now because I'm already late for a meeting.
It should be a good week, a good rest of the week be'ezrat Hashem and a good erev yomtov erev Yom Yerushalayim and a beautiful Shabbos everyone. Thank you. Thank you.