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“You’re not just building automation systems — you’re helping two young men find their own operating systems for life.” — Shaun Dawson
“If you give them the plan, what are they learning? Let them carry on tradition by word of mouth — that’s where the leadership happens.” — Damian Gomes
“I’d rather my sons fail at home, with us around to help them, than discover they don’t have the skills later when it really matters.” — Damian Gomes
Raising Men is a podcast about parenting, masculinity, and the lifelong journey of raising sons—and ourselves—to be men of courage, character, and purpose. Hosted by Shaun Dawson, each episode features real conversations with parents, leaders, and thinkers redefining what it means to raising men in today’s world.
it's this big balancing game
right because you want them
you know like they say
the mom loves you for who you are today
and the dad loves you for what you can be tomorrow
and that's so true it's
it's very true
because you're thinking about the next thing
but the mom's there always comforting
no matter what happens yeah
whereas the dad gets pissed off
at least I know that that can fall under me quite a bit
that resonates with me uh huh
welcome back to raising men now
Damian Gomes my guest today is a father
a technologist
and the founder of a company called Automation Watchdog
he's a long time scout leader and mentor
and Damien has spent years guiding
not just systems and startups
but also two sons into adulthood
now from navigating the challenges of remote schooling
during the pandemic
to helping his boys chart their own paths
one into coding and AI
and the other through community and structure
Damien's story is one of leadership
patience and learning to let go
today he's channeling those same lessons
into building a company with his son
blending fatherhood and innovation
in a way that's both practical
and deeply human
Damien thanks so much for being here today
it's an honor to to have you on the podcast
thank you Sean
it's a pleasure to be here
and I appreciate taking the time and
you know being able to share my story
and maybe others will relate or learn
or come back and tell me
here's some other things you should try any help
that's fantastic yeah
that's that's a perfect attitude
now let's talk I wanna talk about uh
about the Boy Scouts
that's such a central part of your life
what
how did you get involved as a Scout leader and what
you know why did you do that and and what have you seen
what's the benefit in your view
so I got involved because of my kids basically
it actually started off when von was in kindergarten
sorry grade 1
and he had just gone from
the special needs class into a regular class
where he gets pull out sessions to get extra help
for therapies and things like that
and and what happened is you know
beginning of school year the
the scouts show up in the class
and they're in their uniform
and they get the kids riled up and excited about
who wants to shoot BB's who wants to shoot arrows
who wants to go camping
all the fun stuff that a kid would just dream of doing
and so they give this flyer
von comes home says
I wanna go in the Scouts and we said
that's a big commitment yeah
let's focus let's focus on school right now
do well in school and then next year we can do that
so next year rolls around bond did well at school
so in Grade 2 now same thing happens
he comes home with a flyer and we said okay
now
we want you to understand this is a family commitment
this is not just about dropping you off to some place
and they just take care of you
and you guys get to play we're gonna be involved
we're gonna go on the campouts and he loved it
and his younger brother 4 years younger than him
Zane would show up to the meetings
we got on the uniform
even though he wasn't actually part of a den yet
cause he was too young yeah
but he came on the campouts in fact
the first camp out
we were concerned because it was 80 something degrees
von had a fever and we're like
oh my gosh this could ruin it for him
he was sleeping in the tent and it didn't
and so the kids loved it we
the the the not the troop
but the pack when they're younger
they're in a pack the pack we were part of
they had five campouts a year
which is a quite a bit for yeah
youth and that has to be coordinated
and at the end of the first year
I said I love this
this is amazing someone else coordinate
it's like five family vacations we take every year
they are not expensive the kids are having a blast
and someone else takes care of it
I just have to show up and and help out
later on that year after you know
a year and a half into it
the old cubmaster is moving on into Boy Scouts with
his son
literally hands me the keys as he's walking by and says
that's how they get you that's how they get you
you start off thinking oh
this is great I yeah
all this stuff is done for me
and then uh
pretty soon you're the guy doing it all
yeah I knew nothing about scouting
I knew nothing about camping uh
I just saw what the first year was like and I said okay
well let's keep this going
and then I was the cubmaster for seven years
so I was the guy organizing the monthly pack meetings
the campouts and I
I got to find out what it really was to me
at first my view was hey
this is a great family thing to do
but then when they go from the pack to the troop
that's when the
the kids start going into their own level
that's when they start becoming responsible as a pack
the parents do everything
we're just there to make sure the kids are safe
they have fun uh
but then that transition point
it's in grade 5
and grade 5 is also the thing where you go from uh
in in
where you enter middle school right
and there's a
there's a change because the kids are more mature
at grade 5 they start kind of
getting a little bored and tired of the things
because we have to keep the program from kids in
in kindergarten right up to grade 5
you have you have kindergarteners
interacting with the five year olds
and so it has to be applicable to both
correct so
bring around the fire chief and the fire trucks
and the police cars aren't as exciting anymore
it's been five years yeah yeah
yeah we've seen this over and over again
and they're just more about well
what's next what's the higher adventure
what's the next thing that we get to do
and these kids are kind of slowing us down
and so that's why they transition then into Boy Scouts
and even Boy Scouts the experience regard
based upon the troop you go to
you'll have a very different experience
sure some troops are what they call boy LED
some are adult LED and the difference is organization
um we kind of teach our kids about storming
norming and performing as part of our regular cycles
because the idea is
when you have a change of any leadership
whether it's at home at school and
and Boy Scouts and the government
you tend to go into the storming position right
no one really knows exactly what their role is
and it's it's about well
how can you help out
how can you help the new leadership
whether it's in your troop
or maybe there's something happening at home
or at school how can you help them
to bring it from the storming to norming
how can you help guide others if you're more
what does norming mean in that context
so storming is everyone's kind of running around
scrambled
not really sure of the role then norming comes in
which is okay we've
we've got our roles I kind of start to understand
how to work with this person
and how to work with them
and so when it when it comes to Boy Scouts
that is their first few campouts
it's storming because the new leadership's in there
they haven't really
they're the ones instructing the kids on what to do
and there's a hierarchy of your senior patrol leader
and your assistant patrol
your senior assistant senior patrol leader
and then you have your patrols
which are groups of you know
five to eight boys or so or kids
and the idea is the person in charge
is the one that's supposed to direct
and try to be more hands off uh
lead by example teach there's a they
we teach them edge method
which is
it's been a while since I've used it to explain
demonstrate guide and enable
so the idea is
this is how you teach someone else to do something
because if you're more senior
do you wanna keep doing
do you wanna keep packing the trailer
no ideally you teach the younger ones how to do this
so that way
you can step back and make sure the whole machine
of scouts is moving properly
and we get out of the campsite on time
everyone's got their gear
otherwise
we don't get to stop at the gas station on the way home
and the gas station is gold to them
because I imagine it is yeah
cause it's where the snacks are
and they've been they've been eating uh
canned beans for three days or something like that
right uh huh
so they get you know
they have their their
if they're smart enough
they remember to bring money and they take their money
they get to go in the store
they can buy what they want
and that's that's
you know it's a huge goal for them
and they will work hard on Sunday mornings
to make sure they get to stop at the gas station
yeah I feel like
that's a really powerful way to help cultivate
responsibility and leadership in your boys
yes and
and it's it's when they
as they step up into higher positions
they start to see the things that we see as adults
yeah like
what are these kids doing
why aren't they why is this kid just sitting on all the
like there's sometimes so on Sundays
that's when we're leaving our campouts
and we call it no sit Sundays
so the idea is
no one should be sitting down until we're all done
and inevitably it happens
you know kids drift off their attention span
they're focused they're tired
you know been sleeping outside for two days
yeah uh
most of the time they eat pretty well
in fact that's
you know our
one of my troops they pride on their cooking
and they have cooking competitions
and they are phenomenal uh
some of the things that they pulled off
so that's norming
is as people start to find their roles
they know how to work with each other
they know someone's weakness
their strength
and maybe they can leverage that a little better
and then performing is it's six
you know four months into it now
they get to the campsite
and everyone just knows exactly what to do
and set up is faster there's less arguments
there's less chaos it just happens
and the adults are just relaxing
you know that that's
that's a good place to be in
relaxing sounds nice
what do you think
modern boys get out of what scouting offers
I think there's a few aspects of it
there's
when a boy ranks up from Scout Tenderfoot
there's different ranks all the way up to Eagle
at the end of them for
for them to finish their rank
they have to have a a
a board of review so
there is about 3
or plus adults in a room with the Scout
and it's kind of
a review of what you've accomplished in your rank
what's your feedback on the troop
are there things you wanna do that we're not doing
do you like what's going on
what do you not like um
and it's to get their feedback and it's
it's also kind of a practice of one day
you're going to be sitting in a room with other adults
you don't know so well
and they're gonna be asking you questions
about things you've done and it's
it's really an interview
and so I look at it as there's
one is we're preparing them
for what real life is gonna be like
there is 135 or 150 odd merit badges
and these merit badges are in everything
there's engineering
there's nuclear physics or something like that wow
there's rifle so there's from the fun stuff
and then there's the educational
so there's basically I tell them
you know if we're talking to them
what are they do you have
do you have a clue of what you wanna be in the future
some of them are pretty clear
and they know what they wanna do
and I said well
try the mare badges surrounding this area
it's a great place to try something
and if you don't like it you don't have to finish it
I mean that's up to them
but ideally they do finish it'cause it's not
most of them aren't super difficult
some are so the idea is for them to experiment now
while they're young
learn about the things that they like
they don't like and help shape their potential future
so there's the potential career path in life right
there's auto mechanics there's there's um
I think they're adding something about trains
there's plumbing
there's electrical so any field of study
there's a probably a merit badge for
and so it gives you an exposure to that to
to learn whether this is something you like or not
who knows what what might come of this
the other part is through scouting
is we try to get them to take leader
positions of leadership
that's one of the requirements to advance is you
you know you're
you're helping the troop evolve
your role of leadership
you have to learn how to plan things uh
we have something called a patrol leader conference
those are generally
set up to take the leader of the youth
the group of them and to help plan out
what the next week is gonna look like
or the next camp out what are we gonna do
and
some of the things that we do are just the basics of
okay imagine we get to the campsite what happens
just step by step
getting them to think about something
and not just wait till we get there and then panic
because they're not sure what we're doing
um so there's the whole planning and leadership
so it's really making the boys
for the next generation
to go out there and take positions of leadership
how do you manage
a group of people that disagree on things
and you know the failure points are great
because the worst thing that happens is
maybe they don't get their dessert
because someone forgets it right
and and
and so it's just going through
this repetitive type experience
even though to me and you
it would be so simple to plan a weekend
and what needs to be done
yeah the idea is
they need to go through
and get their battle scars of forgetting things
remembering to do better the next time
so there's you've got the potential career path
you've got your leadership skills path
and then at the same time
this is supposed to be fun
this is supposed so as the boy LED trip
we asked them
what were the campouts you didn't like last year
and so in fact
there was a you know
in in the trip that for my younger one
they they decided not to go to Daytona next year
interesting
so that was the leadership positions that they
they planned out the next year
and they said we don't want to go to Daytona
it's cold it's windy
we've done it every year in a row
for the past five years
let's skip it this year
so when that news was brought back to the troop
they were upset because a lot of people love it
and so but they said
but you guys complain all the time
we're there about how cold it is
let's let's go on a camp out somewhere else
so
these are things that they have to learn to deal with
yeah um
you know the adults
we stay in arm's length away from them
so we set up our campsite here
they're our neighbors
we can hear if something's going on
but the goal is
they are the ones that manage themselves
if we hear something
we generally have an adult just step over there
but we don't go and try to address the problem directly
you go through the hierarchy
you go through the senior patrol leader
and you tell him this doesn't look like this is right
what are your thoughts try to guide them
okay now let's
let's see them go handle it and uh
you know that's
that's what I like about it
is it's a chance for them to really figure things out
and give them independence
yeah I feel like
life used to be harder you know
100 years ago life used to be harder
certainly even 20 years ago
life used to be harder it
it feels like when we grew up
we childhood
was a little bit more difficult than it was today
that's what it feels like
and maybe that's not true
it well
it was difficult in different ways right
correct and and and
and you know the
the challenges are different now
you know back then
some of this stuff got introduced to you
more organically
as opposed to having to contrive the situation
that will teach you how to be a leader
or teach you to be independent
and so it feels like a really
really good way of providing that structure
and make these things happen
that used to happen organically
yes and when I first started with the troop
I said man
what the heck are they doing
like why don't they just get a list
why not just this is what I would do
this is what I did when I became a cubmaster
as I didn't know what was going on
I document I make a list
I have my 10 mind maps
and I can reiterate any of them at any time
I can tell you exactly how I planned a camp out from
eight years ago
but then
I realized the value of not just giving them the plan
right if you give them the plan
what are they learning right
so the idea is
let them carry on tradition by word of mouth
not through you know
it's not an organization where
there's something critical that you need to manage
and the knowledge has to be perfectly kept
in transition from one manager to the next
as there's resources rolling out
you almost want them not to get all the knowledge
you want them to get just enough
first of all they've observed it for enough time
that they should have figured out stuff already
yeah and the next is
if you give them the templates
and the playbook to run through
then they're just following direct orders of
of what they've seen before and it's not right
the skill is actually originating those things correct
and starting over and so that's when I realized the
my mentality of why don't
why don't they just make a list and just pass it off
because right
then it becomes too easy and the learning
they don't know to do that
and correct then when they invent lists
then they'll it will be a significant accomplishment
yes yeah
and then
they could apply that to themselves in their own way
right and that's the skill that they've now built up
yeah and they see the value versus just saying not
not the skill of being able to make lists
but the skill of being able to figure out
that lists are the right solution to this problem yeah
yeah now the
the the organization
Boy Scouts of America
has faced some challenges recently
and like a lot of institutions and what
you know a lot of people
I think ran away from it at that point
but you doubled down right
what made you double down on scouting
even when it faced challenges
if I recall the numbers properly
it's about
130 million kids have gone through the skating program
wow and 30 million adults of volunteers
that's significant and yes
the the program did have issues
and anywhere you have adults and kids
there's a great potential for issue and abuse of things
and I've looked at that and I've seen
what's it the program has changed
so there's something called Youth Protection Training
YPT every adult leader is required to take this
in fact every adult supposed to take it uh
we've instantiated concepts and requirements
so for example uh
two deep leadership meaning
there should never be a youth with another adult
that's not their parent
by themselves yeah
um you should have two so for example
and and it protects the scout and the adult right
of course right
because if you were alone with this child
and they make a claim of something
you're done like your career
just that claim going out there of something
even if nothing happened it's it's too late yeah
so as an adult
you wanna enforce bringing another adult with you
if you're gonna talk to a youth
maybe they're they're not doing something properly
and things will happen you know
kids are kids and we've we're working outdoors
in the outdoors and there's arguments
they get upset at each other they get tired
kids can rub each other the wrong way
and so when you do need to step in
you want someone else there to be present
to ensure that a
nothing else happens and it protects the scout
but it's also protecting adults and so the
the kids take the training as well
the adults take the training
now for any adult that will go on a campout
they are required to have background checks as well
so they've instigate that
that's instituted now so they have
it's not like
they just sat around and didn't change the program
that would be a whole different story
it seems like
they used it as a way to really strengthen the program
and so the risks you know
they've been through the gauntlet so
so the risks are lower now
yeah and then I look at other institutions
schools and things like that
hey they are not applying those same rules
and so there's an exposure to them on that point
so I think that they've done the right steps
to go in and head this off
so this shouldn't happen anymore
like I don't see how things can happen
yeah um
it it's just it
it really shouldn't happen anymore
and so that is a big part of it
the value out of what I was seeing with my kids
and just for myself selfishly
just being able to see my kids grow up
in a very different aspect
I I found something very valuable to look at my kids
so in
in Boy Scouts
depending on the troop again
and one of the troops
your child does not address you as
as dad you're not the dad anymore there
you are an adult leader
and they should not be going to you for their problems
and things like that go to another one wow
um and
you know it's
they can call you first name or last name
depending on you know
Mister Damon or Mister Gomes
yeah and the idea is if you see your kid goofing off
tell one of the other dads to go
you know
yeah handle give
give the message yeah
because they need to hear things from other adults
and that's a big part of it
is how do kids interact with other adults
how do they respond to them
how do they respect them and I just like the idea that
one I can see my kids from a distance
and just see them turning into young men
as they go through this yeah
and see how other people see them as well
versus being the dad always
and trying to bring down the hammer
every time that something's not right
like back off
they're here to to learn and make some mistakes yeah
I wanna shift gears a little bit
and talk about some of the experiences you had during
the pandemic
you know the the
the pandemic occurred for you at a really
really sensitive time for your boys
um and there were some really
really unique challenges that I felt like
are really emblematic of of how people experienced
or really representative of how people experienced
the pandemic so
so let's talk about that for a minute
let's talk about the pandemic
looking back
how did that pandemic time reshape your family dynamics
what were the challenges
and what were the solutions to that
it was a it was a big change uh
it it
all four of us were at home the entire time
for all those years and it's not like you live in a
in a in a 20,000 square foot mansion
is it no
no two bedroom two bath condo and it's you know
a little bit of cabin fever
yeah I can imagine
but we were in Florida so there were some benefits to
to at least being able to go outside during the winter
and right
things like that um
I felt that the the big shift was the immediate
the the big shift was the immediate
you know we
they cut they turned off school
basically everyone went to school from home
fortunately our district
our county was already ready for school to be remote
in a sense of
they had already had some programs out there
Duval Virtual
can't say everything was the best
there's always learnings to go on right
some pretty painful things
but they quickly adopted
and got all the kids going up and
ready for school from home
they even had a laptop program out
they had for kids that didn't have internet
they actually had a little um
little Wi-Fi
Wi-Fi devices that they would send out to the kids
we had internet and everything and computers
so we didn't need it
but for those that didn't they were ready to go
which was impressive um
how did how did your kids take to the new regime
haha
um my older one was probably in Grade 7 at the time
and I think it was March April when they flipped
so they had a couple more months of school left
and in Florida we
we finished school earlier by the end of may
not into June and I think he was mentally wanting this
um
he'd already complained prior
about some of the kids in his math class
they were goofing around all the time
the teacher couldn't teach the lessons properly
and he actually wanted to change classes
because of that wow
and I said we can do that
but we don't know what the other variables are gonna
turn out to be after we shift you
you're that would change your schedule
and are the kids really gonna change
um so I said just
just hold out on this and
you know we'll I
I don't think there's much we can try
you know how much
how long can you handle this for
and then Covid happened so he went remote
it was a very different experience
a at first it was teacher LED classes
so you were just it was the same schedule as school
but you had to be in front of a computer right
um so there was still
let's call it the babysitting taking place right yeah
um and they did that for a year
and it's I think we transitioned into another program
where it became more virtual
so you in fact the the
the teachers were optional
in this point so it was essentially self paced
yes self paced
watch these videos do some exercises
complete your work take pictures
upload documents someone would review it
you would meet with the teacher on some regular basis
for a review or if they had questions
or if you had questions
and my older one he excelled at this well okay
not right away
and and in the sense of self pacing that is
you know you're sitting on a laptop
access to the entire internet yeah
which is problematic and you're 13 14
right it's the
your brain isn't even the portions that are needed yet
the portions that are needed
the controls aren't even there
aren't there yeah
and you know so
this was probably
when kids started going back to school
when we pushed into the self paced program right
our kids decided that they didn't want to go back to
school in person
and we thought about it quite a bit
and I said there's some capabilities that that enables
that means we are mobile if we want to go somewhere
do something and we have since then
which is the whole point of that yeah
that we can just pick up our kids
and go visit the grandparents
and go somewhere Ohio
Canada for a couple weeks
and they can keep doing school and learning
and
we can still have a little more freedom of our life
and spend and more focus on family time
that path to get there was painful
and the memories come back pretty quickly
because they fell behind pace significantly
sometimes in a couple classes where oh
there's an assignment from six weeks ago
there's a test
because you're not graded on submitting things on time
you're graded on submitting things and that's
you know that's the quality that you're getting in
and so I I struggled with that
I struggled with the way school
I struggled with what school is now
and there's
there's so many other ways that this is split off
just because like what is
what is the goal of school right
you know when we went to school
you you had a quiz if you failed
you failed that was it that was your Mark
it was your permanent record and it doesn't change
right now I'm finding out in person and remote school
if you fail a quiz you can take it take it again
interesting and maybe they
they change it up the next time or don't I
I don't know exactly
I don't sit down there and look at it
and then I thought about I said
you know what maybe there's something to that right
if the goal of school is to learn something
and they took a test they weren't prepared for it right
why are they punished for the rest of their life right
cause then they kind of give up on it
then it becomes something that's right well
you're not teaching them to learn the thing
you're teaching them to do something different
you're teaching them to take a test yeah
yeah so then I said
you know what
but then if you do 90 or 100% the next time right
isn't that you just Learned something right
isn't that the goal right
so a quiz or a test
it's just more exercise so
what you're effectively
doing is just doing more homework
to do better the next time
and they're giving you the opportunity to learn
engaging it differently
versus holding you down and saying well
that's your grade and you can never do better than this
right so
at first the idea of being able to retake a test
was ludicrous to me
because that's not how we were raised
and then I really thought about well
what's the goal I said
the goal is to get them to learn the material
and to do better and to teach them that don't give up
I think that's kind of the right thing
yeah and
and excellence is failure right
and if you're if you're punishing failure
you're not letting them achieve excellence
are you you
you have to and that's so wrong
it's crazy to think about it that way
and it it took me seeing them do better on their second
or even third time
cause they're allowed up to three times
for these things wow
yeah and so it's limited too
that's wow
that's really brilliant now let's um
so you're you're talking about during the pandemic
that kind of triggered you
to give your boys
a different way of interacting with school
and one of them really took to it
right and the other one really
really struggled how would you have done that
I mean so in one
in one sense the pandemic became a blessing for you
how do you think you could have made that happen
without having to go through a global pandemic
that's that's a big challenge
so when when the kids were young
my wife and I we
we did think about doing homeschool
mm hmm it was really sitting there
but then we thought that's a big commitment
it is homeschool is different than virtual school
homeschool is you are the teacher
you have to find the program and the books
there's things online they can do as well
um
but we're forced into it and I think that helped us
you know it just pushed us over the edge right
it was a new opportunity
and so how would you do this on your own
I mean now that they've got Kate
so Florida has so
first of all
Duval Virtual is one of the programs which I had some
I didn't like exactly how everything worked there
um Florida Virtual is another program
so there's multiple programs out there
so there you've got probably your county or
and then your state and then there's other programs
out there that exist today
so if you actually wanted to jump into this and try it
you can you can experiment with it without absolutely
yeah you can even start might be a thing to try and and
and you find that your your
your kids are wired you know
differently and maybe it's suitable for one of them
and not for the other yeah
and I I
so you can go on and probably take one class online
right
and let them see if they like this and if they liked it
then maybe that works better for them yeah
some parents I've talked to
they said I could never let my kid do that
and it's like well
maybe maybe not yeah
right maybe the
the sitting in school for seven or eight hours a day
doesn't work for them
and you think that the teachers keeping them on task
and and so that was a big decision for us
is when you go to college
if you go to college
when you grow up and move out of the house
you have to have Learned how to pace yourself already
that's right and so we said
I would rather them fail at home
with us around to help them
then just keep in mind
they don't have the skills when they get to college
yep
and fail there when you're paying thousands of dollars
and it's a bigger impact so that was
that was our our
decision is
I'd rather them now learn this than later on
and it and this is a hard skill to develop
so at least we're around we can see it
we can help shape it a little
versus once they're at the house
they don't want to hear from you
they in the sense of you know
are you gonna ask your kid how's your
how's your classes going for school
or is all your homework being submitted
and are you keeping up on your assignments
I know when I was 18 that's you know
you're not you don't wanna answer those questions
oh yeah it's the worst
so you know
is that risk point and I think the reward is worth it
and I'm hoping and I'm seeing it right
so our our older one
he shrunk his school day to three hours from eight
what does he do with the other hours in the day
well it was all on the computer um
he was he's built up over 25
3,000 hours of flight sim training
to the point where I paid
for him to go on to his first discovery flight
in a plane
and I paid a little extra to sit in the back seat
I told him talk to the instructor
this is a discovery flight which is really theirs
they just take you up and
and then they give you controls and right
it's like you're flying
uh yeah
this was totally different
so von and the instructor talked
I told him just give him a sense of what you know
and from talking to von the instructor
I think he was joking I hope said
do you wanna sit in the front
I said no haha
I'm you need to be beside him
I'm gonna be in the back instead of the instructor
he was gonna let you sit in the front
that's right I'm like
he hasn't actually done this for real yet
you know that right
yeah and so
you know they
they did the pre flight inspection
and Von's in the left seat
instructor's right
I'm in the back and von starts up the plane
he taxis it he's never driven a car yet
but he taxis a plane wow
instructor's hands off and then von takes off the plane
full lift and everything I'm just like
oh my gosh and he flew the entire flight
it was like a 45 minute flight I think um
did the landing and everything
the instructor helped out three times about that
I saw him go and do some assist
I know one of them was on changing the throttle mixture
maybe okay
yeah or the mixture
and that's when we're coming into land
and he explains that you have to change this
otherwise you can kind of go into a spin or something
and that's bad um
and then on landing he helped flare
just to give that confident extra pull
as we were coming down to touchdown
and his his feedback was
it was like flying with a private pilot
and that's just the thing
you know Von's second nature was keeping level
keeping the altitude keeping the horizon
the heading and everything correct without having to
like him say stuff and so von built up
you know 3,000 hours or so flight sim training
and then he spent thousands of hours coding right
I had always pushed him a little extra
beyond the classes that he had
you know he had to build some some game
it was like you know
the text based games yeah
you're in a hallway you can turn left or go right
so he was looking doing one for his class
and this is grade 6 7 and von had his code
it was just like nested ifs right
and I said well
that works but what if you wanna change the story
that's gonna be a pain so I said well
what if we can take that and put it into a file
with the where are you your options and where it goes
kind of like jump to request
and then you build the code that reads the file
and just kind of parses through it step by step
and so
I was always kind of pushing him to do a little more
and make it more fun because it's coding
it should be fun yeah
and he took to it really well
to the point where
you know now we have our own business together
he's basically built
most of the product called Automation Watchdog
and he's a full stack developer
we have conversations every day about
you know he wants to get off of Azure because he says
if we get two more bare metal servers at $130 a month
maybe separate them
we can throw on this cloud stack tool
that will manage our own infrastructure
and then we can get way more power
we'll get 128 gigs of RAM
versus paying for a couple nodes on Azure
in the same price
so it's given him opportunities to really excel
and find what he's passionate about
and if he had spent
seven or eight hours a day at school
that would never have happened
and and yeah and just just so that everybody knows
how old is Bon
he just turned 18 now that's incredible
um
he's built
he loves contributing to open source projects
he's built his own tools all the time
he's been he's got two graphics card in his computer
he's testing out all these things
and just seeing how the models run
he's he's surpassed me that's for sure
that's so amazing I
I well
and and he's got the time to do it because I know I'm
I'm jealous I wish I had that kind of time
I'm with you
what do you think
what do you think was the hardest part about
letting him figure out his own rhythm there
allowing for failure yeah
like you're allowing him to screw up so badly
where he's stressed
where he's behind on a class
there's potential failure
and then just he's got to figure it out
it's like you're watching the boat approach the iceberg
and you don't you
you have to decide
is that an iceberg that's gonna kill the boat
and if it's not I have to let him hit it
so that he can figure out how to repair the boat
and avoid the iceberg next time
and all of that yeah
and and
and that's
that's part of how some troops work in scouting right
we want them to come back home in one piece
and they will yeah
they'll be a little bruised
maybe a little hurt but they'll be stronger with it
yeah and they'll have Learned something from it
and so we have to allow our kids
and you know
when we grew up we were in the streets all day
we're just doing whatever we wanted
and the parents you know
that the lights come on in the street
and your mom comes outside
and just yells out your name
and you're like I gotta go
yup and in the
today's society I don't think that's happening
I mean we're in a condo
so I can't let the kids run around
we're in a parking lot right
that's not safe so right
we were always there with them
if they were outside playing yeah
and that was a big part
that was a big adventure for us with scouting
is we go to camp out
and I just let the kids go
and we would when it's time for lunch
we ring the bell and all the kids come
and when it's time for dinner
the the bell gets rung and they come back and eat
and then they play at night
and it's in a safe enough environment
and I that was a big thing is wow
you know
my kids definitely didn't grow up the same way I did
and I felt like
they need a little bit of that adventure
they need that rope needs to get loosened yeah
and it's not just you have to trust that it'll
it's gonna be OK
they can handle it and that's the only way and they
they're they have to explore their
the limits of their own comfort zone
but they're at the same time
they're exploring the limits of your comfort zone too
haha yeah
now my other one my younger one
he was in virtual school longer
and it's been harder on him
he hasn't found the passions just yet
he there is some stuff there
in the world of art and swimming um
but he's you know he's behind on school in fact
just this week my wife and I were talking she says
cause I got him this really nice laptop for his
birthday and it's
you know it's got an Nvidia graphics card
which means you can game on it pretty well
and which means he games on it quite a bit haha
and it's again it's that you've got the internet
you've got all these cool things in front of you
and then you want to
you have to do school and school's kind of boring
and it's like I gotta watch these videos
and I don't see the value in what I'm learning
and that that's a that's a whole other thing
but the whole goal is okay
well if you can get through this
there's something
some hanging fruit here for you that you will enjoy and
and that's gonna be free time
wouldn't it be better
if you can get your school done in a couple hours
a day and then we can draw we can do art projects
we can build stuff we can engineer um
so my wife said to me
his laptop has too much access and so I said well
I got an extra laptop sitting around
I threw on some Ubuntu version on there um
Zoren I think OS
and it's got a bunch of cool educational apps
I'm waiting for him to discover that
those things are there and see where he goes with that
but it's locked down like it's just meant for school
he's not gonna be able to install anything
and I feel like he's just got into high school
he's in Grade 9 it's all virtual
and I feel like he's
starting to get a sense of accomplishment now
as he's starting to have less distractions
something that he was unable to control before
so we've had to step in differently for him
whereas my older one it was harder because to my wife
she looks at him he's always on the computer
to me like he's learning everything
haha yeah
so it's a balance of what are they doing
what do you think they're doing
and what are they really doing
and if they're
if they're learning and they learn different than us
because these kids are growing up with YouTube
and these these people have created amazing content
where they're just sopping up this information yeah
and it's so the learning patterns are changing right
you know my my younger one well
he he does well at school when he does it
but he's more interested in Mark Rober
and what he talks about and these other scientists
that have their own channels
and they're doing chemistry experiments
like why can't I would love to see these guys create
the new education system that would be amazing
where it's just like get the best people that are
that are that actually care a lot
and they're just invested in what they're doing
if you're learning from someone
is it better to learn someone
learn from someone that learnt this just to teach you
or from someone who's passionate about it
and wants to get that passion to you
and see your creativity in it
yeah and we have that opportunity now
now I mean
it used to be the case that the person in front of
the person
at the front of the classroom
was the only person you can learn from
but now we can learn from anyone in the world
yeah so
there's nothing stopping you at this point
yeah yeah
so true but then there's risks attendant to that too
you know
I don't want them going down a rabbit hole on YouTube
where it's you know
some crazy thing
or something that's maladaptive for them
yeah which
you know the algorithm sits there
and controls what's up next for them
yeah and it's
it's you know
hopefully
there's new platforms that come out that are just say
this is just educational then I'll pay for that
no question no question
what do you hope your sons
remember about this season of their life with you
I think I would like them to remember the kind of
the bonds that are built
and hopefully the good ones
cause there's it's tough
you know when your kids behind school multiple weeks
and then the teachers are messaging you
and this happened for both of them and
you know you
you get really upset
and then they're not listening to you
because they just zone out
and they're just focused on something else
yeah but I
I hope that they remember the
the ability to try stuff that
you know while it's this big balancing game right
because you want them
you know like they say
the mom loves you for who you are today
and the dad loves you for what you can be tomorrow
and that's so true it's it's
it's very true
because you're thinking about the next thing
but the moms
they are always comforting no matter what happens
yeah whereas the dad gets pissed off
at least I know that that can fall under me quite a bit
that resonates with me
and so I want them to remember and carry this on
about giving the opportunity to go and
and try something and fail
because I feel like that's
that's what they need to do
not just now but forever
because it's that trying something new and
and learning and being self paced
self taught that's how you find your own path
because if you're
if you're continuously just being told what to study
what to do right
which is what most of school is
you get some electives here and there
but how are they picking them right
maybe it's because they don't want
they want to do less work
because they don't enjoy school already
or maybe because they are interested in this subject
that they want to learn more about it
so it it's the ability to
to choose our own adventure and to keep trying and
and knowing that if you fail
we're there and we'll help you
I think that's a
a life lesson that I want them to carry
and I want them to try the experiments
I want them to
push themselves beyond what they knew before
and know that if they fail
you can get back up again because that's
that's success
I think that is a
a beautiful sentiment to close the conversation on
I like to end these conversations
um by putting people on the spot and uh
and you can take your time
but tell me one principle that you feel
that you try to live by
that you can share to the world about raising men
I think it's
the one that I still struggle with today is
is let's call it maybe consciousness
self awareness
it's the idea of
not getting caught in the moment and following the
the paths that have already been built up in your brain
and handling things
exactly as you've handled it before
but to pull back from the situation
and become mentally aware
that you can consciously
change how you want this to go
it's like
there's a tension between presence and perspective
and you need to you need to manage that tension
and keep those things in balance
yes because
you know
you can get really upset at your kids very quickly and
and it's
because you're dealing with them for their entire life
right so you
it's so much easier to deal with someone else's kid
because you only have to see the situation
once or twice yeah
but the moment it's yours
it's been a million times right
so there's this compounding framework sitting there
and it's like well
I have to try something else I
I this isn't working
this isn't working that's so true
if it's a stranger's kid
then you have to deal with the data point
but if it's your kid you have to deal with the line
yeah
and and being able to step back and be like
let's treat this as an independent event right
and maybe I would handle it better
and it's it's very difficult right
because you see them doing something and you wanna stop
and the typical things go into place
that you've done 1,000 times already
so how how do you pull yourself out of it to say
wait a second okay
let's see if we can do this better than last time
because you've done it 1,000 times
it clearly doesn't work
you need to come up with a different way yeah
what you've done in the past has LED you to this moment
correct yeah
I love that I love that
that's fantastic well
uh Damian
this has been absolutely fantastic
my friend
Damian Gomez is the CEO of Automation Watchdog
a service that he runs with his son
that helps you guarantee the business
value of your automations
and AI agents he joins us from Jacksonville Florida
thank you so much Damien
thank you Sean
it's been a pleasure to speak with you
thanks buddy
raising men is produced by Phil Hernandez
this episode was edited by Ralph Tolentino