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You’re tired.
Not just physically; though yeah, that too.
You’re tired in your bones. In your soul.
Trying to be a steady husband, an intentional dad, a man of God… but deep down, you feel like you’re falling short. Like you’re carrying more than you know how to hold.
Dad Tired is a podcast for men who are ready to stop pretending and start healing.
Not with self-help tips or religious platitudes, but by anchoring their lives in something (and Someone) stronger.
Hosted by Jerrad Lopes, a husband, dad of four, and fellow struggler, this show is a weekly invitation to find rest for your soul, clarity for your calling, and the courage to lead your family well.
Through honest stories, biblical truth, and deep conversations you’ll be reminded:
You’re not alone. You’re not too far gone. And the man you want to be is only found in Jesus.
This isn’t about trying harder.
It’s about coming home.
Today's episode of the Dad Tired Podcast is brought to you by Samaritan Ministries. How are you feeling, man, about your family's healthcare needs? I know that is a thing that most of us as dads are constantly thinking about, or we have it in the back of our mind. It's one of the most important decisions we'll make as dads and as somebody who tries to lead our family.
It's why we highly encourage you to consider Samaritan Ministries. It's a biblical, affordable way to pay your. Family's medical bills and it has everything you should be looking for in a healthcare sharing ministry. Samaritan members glorify God above all else when they care for one another through prayer and encouragement.
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You can then send your medical bills to Samaritan Ministries. They'll notify fellow members to pray for you and then to send money directly to you to help pay for those bills. And when another member has a medical need, you will do the same for them. If you are interested in learning more about this Biblical solution to healthcare and this amazing community, you can go to samaritan ministries.org/dad tired.
Again, that's Samaritan Ministries. Dot org slash dad tired.
I was talking with a friend recently about the, the concept of the father being the prophet, the priest, and the king of the home. I was taught this really thoroughly. In my younger years, and it was a bit of a, a trend to kind of circle this idea. If you've never heard the, the concept, RC Sproul teaches a message called the Father is the prophet, priest and king.
And it's super simple and helpful and Sproul is always brilliant at expressing uh, biblical concepts, but he's basically building the idea. That Ephesians five says that we should be imitators of God and imitators of Christ, and if Christ is the king, and if Christ is the ultimate prophet, the ultimate priest, then we need to imitate Christ in those roles towards our family.
And I think there's a lot of validity to that. Those three roles, those three offices were anointed in the Old Testament. Jesus is the final prophet, the final priest, the final king, and. So to reflect him to our children. Yeah, I'm, I'm good with the language of we need to try to embrace those ideas. I don't love the language all the time because if you don't take the time to really understand what's meant by the teaching and we just kind of use these buzzwords, we can land at this place to think that we are the king of our home, means that we're some kind of tyrannical leader.
Rather than a king like Jesus who serves, Lay's life down, washes the feet of his people. If I'm, I enjoy, I think it's probably wiser to continually communicate. I'm supposed to imitate Jesus's leadership to my family rather than just using the language. I'm the king of my home. I think that can be a little bit dicey, but I was going over these ideas with a friend and trying to talk about how we could apply them in our, in our parenting.
And I want to bring you just kind of three concepts as it pertains to being the prophet of your home. When we talk about being the prophet of our home, traditionally the teaching. One dealt with the idea that the prophet communicates on behalf of God to the people. And so if I'm the prophet of my home, it means I'm to communicate God's word towards my children or and instruct them in God's ways.
To be the prophet of my home means that I have God's standard, God's wall, the gospel, and I'm bathing my kids in God's instruction. That's pretty clear, and I think we kind of innately understand that we have that responsibility to communicate to our kids God's word. I think where that concept of being the communicator on behalf of God towards our family is a bit more complex and nuanced is when you start to consider the fact that the prophet doesn't just communicate.
He communicates God's word. Sure, absolutely. But when you think about John the Baptist, for instance, he's communicating to Herod, he loses his head because he keeps saying to Herod, I. Hey, you can't have your brother's wife. And so it's not just having the law, but it's applying the law or bringing the law to bear its full weight.
Bringing righteousness to bear weight on specific situations. And so that becomes a bit more nuanced and a needs a bit more. Wisdom, and I love John the Baptist's kind of stubbornness to just keep saying to Herod, you're wrong. You're wrong. I don't know if you know this culturally like, but you don't confront Roman leaders.
But John the Baptist doesn't care that there's a cultural construct that says this man is above accountability. He just keeps beating his head against the wall and proclaiming to Herod like, you're in sin. You're wrong. You need to repent. And so the prophet doesn't just communicate truth, but the prophet helps communicate and apply truth.
And there you have to have a little bit of wisdom and ability to untangle the webs of deception that culture is trying to entangle our kids in. So, for instance, this is a really easy example here, but with sexuality. Scriptures are really clear, right? Like sex is appropriate and pure and best lived out between one man and one woman for life.
In the context of marriage, sex is good in the context of marriage, but outside of the context of marriage, sex can be. Damaging. It's incredibly painful. And what culture says is that if anyone ever tries to bring boundaries to sexuality, that individual is hateful. And so we've gotta teach our kids that scripturally speaking boundaries are love.
Right. I tell my kids don't play in the street. Not because I want to hinder them from exploring the asphalt, but because I don't want them to be run over by a car. And so culture is constantly inundating our children right now with this idea that if you ever bring correction or boundaries, you are hateful.
You're filled with hate. And so I've gotta have the, the nuance and the wisdom to communicate to my kids, Hey, God's righteous standard is this. Sex is only appropriate in the context of marriage, and that boundary is not hate, but that boundary is for your protection. That boundary best expresses God's creative order in your life, and that boundary is good.
And so I. Now the prophet doesn't just proclaim the standard, but the prophet has to proclaim the standard as he untangles the webs of deceit that the enemy is trying to entangle our kids with and applies the standard to their lives and paints a picture of what it could look like, what righteous fruit looks like for generations.
And so first, the prophet does have to speak. On behalf of God, bring the standard, apply the standard help to untangle deceptive webs. Second though, and this is the part that I was really trying to digest with a friend as he was processing life, second, I. When you think about prophetic individuals in the scripture, we can just stick on John the Baptist here.
John the Baptist comes on the scene wearing camel skin, eating wild honey and locust. He comes out of the desert. I think it's very likely that he was amongst the Essenes early church father said he was. And I just think the Senes were these acetic individuals living in the desert waiting for Messiah. I think it's likely that John the Baptist at least encountered them without a doubt.
So now we have John the Baptist not wearing the finest clothes, obviously. Yeah. He looks like Elijah. And there is a sense when you read it, that your mind should ponder Malachi's prophecy that Elijah will come before the Before Messiah. Yes. All of that's there for sure. But there's another side of it, I think, and that John the Baptist is modeling a life.
That is not chasing after wealth prominence. He's not like after delicacies or designer clothing, like he's modeling just simplicity, like just a simple frugal life that that doesn't need more worldly possessions, but just wants more of God's kingdom and to know Messiah and so. I'm trying to tell a friend that I think dads hear me.
If you live your life in such a way that you're constantly pursuing wealth, that you're constantly pursuing nicer cars, luxury vehicles, and more square footage, if you're greatest desires and life are longer vacations at more exotic locations, what you are subtly communicating to your children is that possessions.
Prominence and comfort are actually the most satisfying and fulfilling things in your life. And there you can teach your kids with your mouth. Hey, we need to be selfless. We need to walk in compassion and we need to serve the poor. But with your life, if you're pursuing wealth, if you're always wearing the nicest clothes and driving the, the most extravagant car, and if you're entire, like energy is spent trying to get the bigger home.
You have an idol in your life and you can say with your mouth over and over as for me in my house, we're gonna serve God. But you're serving the idol of wealth and comfort and prominence. You are instructing your kids through your lifestyle. That money and possession and comfort is God. And so now the prophet, um, I even think about, you know, obviously.
There's an emphasis in our day of spiritual leaders being super extravagant and super on trend with fashion. But for us, and I think for us as dads, we need to ponder like, what does Jesus mean when he says Foxes have holes and birds have nests, but the son of a man has no place to lay his head, and he says to the rich, young ruler, go sell all your possessions and follow me.
And are we actively modeling a life that lays up treasure in heaven? Right, and so I always tried to say to a friend, I think it's really good for our kids to see us express modesty and frugality because modesty and frugality is not just about me living on less. It's it modesty and frugality become a boundary or a tool to help me keep the idol of possessions, the idol of worldly.
Goods, fleshly desires, modesty helps me beat those things off, right? It becomes my weapon to beat off the desires of the flesh. And so when I, um, moved to this area, I've been pastoring in South Carolina for almost six years now, and, and the region that I live in is super wealthy and prominent. And from a pastoral perspective, one of the first things I said to my wife is.
Let's be so modest as we lead these people, because there are so many super successful, prominent, wealthy individuals. The last thing they need as pastor to come in and be flashy. Don't hear me saying that we're perfect in this because we struggle, you know, with West like everyone else. Let's model for them modesty and um, selflessness.
And so one of the things I do regularly when I receive or pray over the tithes and offerings in the house, I remind them of Jesus's words in the Sermon on the Mount when he said, you can't serve God and money you'll love one and hate the other. And I'll always pray, Lord, as we bring our tithes and offerings, we're declaring to our own hearts money.
You are not our God. We serve Jesus. And he's so wonderful. I am intentionally. Resisting the temptation to live selfish. So now here, follow me. One, it's your responsibility yes, to proclaim, but two, the prophet has a stubborn resistance to the temptations or the webs of, of the world. The, the prophet has almost, I sometimes use the word Godly rebellion.
Rebellion obviously is not quite the right word, but when Babylon says you can't pray to anyone. For 30 days, and Daniel just climbs up into his upper room and keeps praying. There's a godly rebellion, a godly stubbornness in Daniel that says, alright, I'll face the lion's den, but I'm not gonna quit praying.
Or when Peter is commanded to stop preaching in the name of the Lord and he says, is it right for me to serve God or man, you decide, but I'm gonna keep preaching. There is a godly stubbornness, guys, that you need to embrace that, that your kids see. My dad does not worship money. My dad will live on less and give more to missions.
I want your kids to see you care for the poor. Care about missions. I. Practical nugget here. If you can in any way have relationship with a missionary that you know that you can Skype, that your kids can see, and if you can have your kids have relationship with some missionary, and then talk to your kids about.
Alright. In our budget, we are gonna budget in money to give to this missionary and we're gonna look at their website and pictures of the kids that they're reaching or we're gonna pray for their evangelism that they're doing this year. If you can in any way get your kids engaged in the concept of. I live on less so that I can give towards this work, this gospel work, get them excited about evangelism.
That's a way in which we can really be a prophet in our home. We're stubbornly resisting the idea or the concept that we live for. Wealth, pleasure, and comfort. And the third thing I would say is this. Okay, so 1, 2, 3, these, the three points that I want you to write down. One, you are the prophet dear. Home means that you teach, you instruct.
Two, you're the prophet, means that you stubbornly resist the idols of pleasure, comfort, and wealth. Three. The third thing I want you to write down is. As the prophet in my home, I model satisfaction in Jesus alone. So think about Augustine's words, that there's a God-sized hole in your heart. The lie of the enemy is sex with this individual in this way will make you happy.
Having this possession will fulfill you. A longer vacation in a better area is going to satisfy the lie of the enemy is always that sin will fulfill. So what I have to do is show my kids I will drive a very modest vehicle and cars don't make dad happy. The presence of Jesus makes dad happy and more than.
A super extravagant vacation. I'm perfectly content to have quality time with my kids, and a little extra time to get up in the morning with coffee and read my scripture. I wanna model for my kids that nothing satisfies me like this gospel of grace. Nothing brings me pleasure like worshiping God with the saints.
Nothing makes my heart excited, like evangelism and praying for the harvest in my region. And. Actively serving the poor and trying to engage people in gospel conversations. Nothing satisfies my soul, but knowing Jesus and making him known. So I need to teach, I need to resist, and then I need to model satisfaction in Jesus.
And my fear is that if we model to our kids, man, if I have a better car, or if we could have more. Square footage, or if we just had that vacation, then we can finally breathe and we could finally have rest and we could finally feel satisfied that we made it. Man, the prophet, the prophetic edge, just stubbornly says, forget all that, like I'm gonna be satisfied in Jesus and to my kids.
I don't need a nicer car. The best car is the paid off car baby. What I need is to be in a prayer meeting with brothers and sisters who are pursuing Jesus with real conviction. I think having a prophetic edge or being the prophet of your home is teaching. It's resisting and it's modeling satisfaction in Jesus alone.
Again, the three points here is I instruct. I resist. I resist the temptation to live for money and comfort and pleasure by living, frugal and modeling simplicity and teaching my kids selflessness. And three, I really have to model satisfaction in Jesus alone. If you wanna be the prophet of your home man, do those things.
Teach your kids righteousness. Teach them to apply righteousness in this crazy wild culture. To resist with them the temptation to live for pleasure, comfort and prominence. And three, teach your kids so thoroughly. Nothing makes me happy like Jesus. Nothing makes me joyous or glad, like the gospel. What brings me real satisfaction is sonship to know my father.
That to me would be fully modeling the prophetic edge or the prophetic role or type or character to your home. And so. I was trying to tell a friend in my driveway, Hey man, if you make all your decisions on the basis of how can I make more money? Because we want to have nicer things. What you're teaching your kids is that if God calls you to the mission field, God calls you to serve the poor or to reach un reach people group.
If it doesn't pay enough, don't do it. What you're teaching your kids is the pleasures of life are more important than obedience to God and. Are more satisfying than obedience to God. I want my kids, if they wake up one morning with a dream in their heart to serve the poor or to reach unreached people group.
I don't want them to ever have the thought, but I might not have my designer clothes. I might not have the comforts that I have. I want them to have the thought man serving Jesus and seeing people come alive, born again, baptized and and discipled, and helping them to reach their families. That would be wildly fulfilling.
I want them to have that thought and. What thought they have is largely, I think, gonna be contingent on whether or not you are to be the prophet of your home. I hope that's helpful. I've, I'm meditating on that, chewing on that myself, and I pray in, in just in Jesus' name that you would step into this dynamic of.
Of teaching, instructing your kids concerning God's righteousness, and then resisting the ways of the world, and then modeling for your kids satisfaction is only in Jesus.
Hey guys, as always, I hope that episode was helpful for you on your journey of becoming more like Jesus and helping your family do the same. As a reminder, we have our dad tired children's book that is now available for presale wherever books are sold. The whole point of this book is to help you as a dad point your kids to a better hero.
That's what it's called. It's called My Daddy's Hero. And the premise is that all of our kids believe us to be the hero. Uh, for the most part, most of our kids believe that we are the hero of the family, and we know as dads that we fall so short of being well. They really believe us to be and what we know we could and should be.
And so our goal as dads is to point them to a better hero. And that's the whole premise of the book. It helps you put all that language into really simple terms for your kids to understand and to point them back to Jesus. You can pick up a copy again. Wherever books are sold, it's. Called My Daddy's Hero.
We'll put a link in the show notes for you, but um, yeah, you can pick that up wherever you want. Alright, we love you guys and we'll see.