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For over 25 years Proverbs 31 Ministries' mission has been to intersect God's Word in the real, hard places we all struggle with. That's why we started this podcast. Every episode will feature a variety of teachings from president Lysa TerKeurst, staff members or friends of the ministry who can teach you something valuable from their vantage point. We hope that regardless of your age, background or stage of life, it's something you look forward to listening to each month!
MEREDITH BROCK:
Hi, friends. Thanks for tuning in to the Proverbs 31 Ministries podcast, where we share biblical truths for any girl in any season. I'm your host Meredith Brock, and I am here today with my co-host Kaley Olson.
KALEY OLSON:
Well, hey Meredith, and hey everyone. I'm really excited for you guys to get to listen to our teaching today. We've got a new friend on, she's a fellow staff member, and her name is Kaitlin Chapel Rogers. You're really gonna enjoy hearing what she has to say, and I think you're gonna be challenged by it, but in a really good way. I mean, we even talked through it in real time and you could kind of tell us, come into it like a little, I don't wanna say defensive, but just like, you know, you come and you listen to a podcast recording and you're like, oh, I know that this. I know where this is gonna go.
MEREDITH:
Yeah.
KALEY:
And at the end we were like, oh, this is, this was deeper than I, than I actually thought it was gonna be. And I, I really appreciated it. But basically, guys, she's gonna talk about the reality of what it means to live sober minded in a world where what you do matters most.
MEREDITH:
Mm-hmm.
KALEY:
And I think it's just gonna be really great. But she at the very beginning, shares a little bit about her story of attending. She Speaks, and I know there are some of you out there who have gotten emails from us and have seen the social media posts and been like, I don't know, I'm on the fence. I might come to, she speaks, I might not.
MEREDITH:
This is your plug.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm. Because you don't have much time left to get that ticket. So if you have been on the fence, then go to She Speaks conference.com. This year it's gonna be July 16th through 18th in Charlotte, and we want you. To meet us there.
MEREDITH:
It's one of my favorite times of year. Yeah, I look forward to it every year. Um, but before we jump into today's episode, like Kaylee said, Kaitlin is on staff here at Proverbs 31, and she is a part of our social media team and. Just us being here reminded me of a story.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
Um, that has happened real time on our social media and I know all of us listening.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
Everybody in the studio right here, like we, that the term doom scroll has become everyday language.
KALEY:
Right? Yeah.
MEREDITH:
Right. Because we all do it.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
We all let nighttime whatever. You start to doom scroll. And our mission here at Proverbs 31 Ministries with our social media is. To interrupt the doom scroll.
KALEY:
Right.
MEREDITH:
And we hope we stop you in your tracks and be reminded of the truth of God's word.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
Whether it's laying in your bed right before you close your eyes, or you're sitting at your kids' like 500th soccer game and your doom scrolling, we hope to intersect the truth of God's word, right where you're at. So I wanted to share a story. A few weeks ago we posted a prayer series titled three Prayers for the woman fighting fear and a woman shared with us that every prayer that we had written resonated with her and served as a reminder to rest in the truth that God really is holding everything together. Mm-hmm. And she did not need to be afraid. So I just wanted to remind you one, that that is the mission, the vision of what we do here at Proverbs 31 Ministries and everything we do, this podcast, our social media team is all supported by incredibly generous donors.
KALEY:
Yeah.
MEREDITH:
And so if you have ever, uh, benefited from one of those social media posts, if this podcast has ministered to your heart, um. I, you can thank our donors Yeah. For making it possible. Yeah. For it to happen. Um, and to create these divine interruptions mm-hmm. That happen, um, throughout your day, through Proverbs 31 Ministries.
KALEY:
Yeah, absolutely. And we believe today's episode is gonna be another divine appointment for someone listening maybe on the road while folding laundry or just when you need a quiet moment. So, with that, Meredith, let's dive into today's episode.
MEREDITH:
Well, we are so excited to welcome Kaitlin Chappell Rogers to the show today. Hey, Kaitlin.
KAITLIN:
Hi. So excited to be here.
KALEY:
We are so excited you're here too. Kaitlin, you're joining us from Alabama, so we're bringing the Deep South to the podcast today, and I might go there. Meredith, I know you love it whenever I get really country
MEREDITH:
And it's one of my favorite things,
KALEY:
but I don't know, it might happen my Mississippi girl over here because we've got two Southerners versus versus our Northerner over here, but friends, it's actually Kaitlin's very first time on the podcast, which is a true shocker for me because Kaitlin, you're not only a member of the P 31 team who writes really amazing content for our social media platforms, um, that you're speaker, podcaster, and soon to be traditionally published author, which I love. Um, gosh. She is a wife and a mom to three boys under four, and I wish you could have heard us commiserate about life with boys and kids and all the stages of life before we hit record. It was a very funny conversation that the three of us will remember forever.
MEREDITH:
Mm-hmm.
KALEY:
Um, but Kaitlin, before we let you get into your teaching, I think it'd be fun to learn just a little bit about your story and getting connected to P 31, and I think it all started at she speaks maybe in 2018 or 2019. So can you quickly share that journey for our friends?
KAITLIN:
Yeah, I laugh all the time because I was like the biggest P 31 fan girl. I'm like, I knew who you guys were, Kaley and Meredith a long time before you even knew I existed.
KALEY:
Oh boy, that's terrifying.
KAITLIN:
A little embarrassing. But you know, just, just a big fan of the ministry and so I had to like go scroll through pictures to look at when my first time that she speaks actually was, and it was 2017, I got married in May. And then I went in July. And so I had tried to go the year before. I don't even know how I found out about it. Someone online. Um, and I was like, this is it. Like this is, I have got to go to this if I want to become a writer. But the ticket sold out the year that I tried to go. I had this idea for a book. I still have the one sheet for it called Confessions of a Fiance. Um, I like giggle about it now, but I really thought like this is, this book is my big break and I'm so glad it never got published because it wasn't a great book, but it was a, it was a thoughtful idea for women, you know, going through the season of engagement like I had been.
KAITLIN
Um, so I went with my friend and mentor Katie, and she had been there before. Um, so she told me how amazing it was and I just remember walking into the conference and. I, it's really hard to explain unless you've been to She Speaks, but it really is like a little slice of heaven on earth. There is no competition. It's like, Hey, I love your outfit. Hey, can I pray with you? Hey, you're amazing. I was like, floored. I felt like I was in a dream, like walking through the hallway with the kindest women ever who all had the same like, like-minded goal. Um, and then I went two more times in person, and 2020 was when. The online event happened because of 2020.
KALEY:
Yep.
KAITLIN:
And I got a hotel in my city and just made a whole weekend out of it. And, um, it was, it was a blast. And I loved every single time I went to She Speaks. And after the very first time I attended, I went home and told my husband, I was like, I have to work for them one day, like I have to. But I was like, that's such a long shot.
KAITLIN:
Like that ministry is just a well-oiled machine. Like they're the best of the best. And then in 2024. I had my first two little boys were little, and Kendra, who used to work for the ministry, emailed me and asked if I would do some freelance work for you guys. It was an immediate yes, and I knew that it would probably be a month or two of doing some work, but I kept praying that it would turn into something permanent, not just temporary.
KAITLIN:
And long story short, it did. And so now I get to work with the social media team and um, it's. Better than I could have hoped. It really is a dream job. I have to pinch myself all the time. And then, you know, just getting to do stuff like this and be around women like y'all while I'm in the middle of like writing and launching my first book, it has been,
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
KAITLIN:
Such a full circle God moment. And I'll share one last little thing before we dive into the teaching. One of my like coolest writer God memories ever is I flew in for the Christmas party 2024, so I had just started in September full-time, um, or, or part-time, but like permanently on the team. And December flew in for the Christmas party and I was in the airport bathroom changing into my Christmas clothes and got a call from my agent that I got the offer for my book deal.
KALEY:
Wow.
KAITLIN:
Crying in the bathroom. I'm crying in the Uber. Made friends with the Uber driver. He was celebrating with me and like FaceTiming my mom. And when I got to the party, I got to tell Nicole, my manager of the social media team, and she was like, Kaitlin, you have to tell Lysa right now. So she grabbed Lysa and Lysa walked up and I got to tell her like, you have played such a part in this.
KALEY:
Oh my.
KAITLIN:
And I just found out this news and now I get to tell you face to face. Um, and she was. So kind as she always is, and she was like, I'm so proud of you. This is a big deal. And it just felt like the best full circle moment.
MEREDITH:
Kaitlin. I just love it so much. And honestly, I we're so lucky to have you. What a gift it is when the Lord brings people together, when it's so obvious that he is just intersecting lives. Yeah. And so. I am just excited to hear from you today. You guys heard her say it. Um, she is about to be a published author. Her new book is titled She Just Won't Quit. It isn't coming out until later this year, but the content is just so good. It's so relatable that we had to have her on the show today.
MEREDITH:
And so, Kaitlin, I wanna tee you up, girl. Show us. Teach us what God has been teaching you in this book.
KAITLIN:
Yeah, I would be honored to, uh, thanks again for having me. And, um, if you're listening, I just hope that this entire teaching and conversation is, uh, just a reminder that you are doing better than you think you are.
KAITLIN:
And. Look, I'm a crier, so I'll probably cry on the podcast, which is always really fun. But, um, you're doing better than you think you are, and you're, you're probably closer to your miracle than you realize. 'cause God is always at work in the background.
KAITLIN:
Um, but I've been having just a conversation with friends and with women I meet at events when I'm speaking, and here's the gist of it. We really do have the best of intentions to live out the assignment God has given us. I, I believe that. But instead of just doing it, we get stuck. We get stuck in comparison in making sure we're getting it done in the most efficient way possible and really just stuck under the weight of, uh, still trying to do the things that God didn't actually ask us to do.
KAITLIN:
And for my P31 podcast friends out there today listening, I wonder, is the same true for you? Maybe you turned on this podcast for just one more piece of advice that you thought might really help you get it together, but today I actually don't want to give you any advice. I want to take you on a journey of considering what the source of your struggle actually might be.
KAITLIN:
And, um, it might surprise you because I mentioned comparison, but it's so much deeper than that. Um, I just wanna ask you, are you staying stuck and unable to move forward in your daily life and in the good work God has called you to do? Because you're suffocated by expectations that you put on yourself based off a collection of advice that really is meant to help us overhaul and super hack every inch of our lives.
KAITLIN:
You know, we can't practically keep persevering and doing good kingdom work if we stay paralyzed by what we think it should all look like. Comparison is no longer only robbing us of joy. It is now slowly causing us to question exactly who God has called us to be. Whether it is via social media or self-help books, or people that we see all the time that we compare ourselves to, we are heading back to the haunting question of Eden.
KAITLIN:
Did God really say that? We have a beautiful blueprint of exactly how to live in the form of a love letter from God, but that is suddenly no longer enough. Now we need links to drawer organizers and life hacks for raising toddlers just to get us through the tough times. We reach for that apple of instant gratification and another DIY project inspired by our favorite online designer. And we believe if we can perfect our homes and schedules, our workdays and relationships, our meal preps, and no screen time moments that we will have more time, more money, and more energy.
KAITLIN:
But we are left with less time thanks to scrolling, less money thanks to the links we purchased from because of the scrolling and less energy thanks to the hamster wheel, disguised as a life of ease all while believing we can have it all and do it all on our own.
KAITLIN:
And none of this is inherently bad. I do want you to hear me say that I buy the drawer organizers. I read the tips for toddlers. Um, Kaley mentioned we were chatting before this and we were laughing because I just posted on my Instagram story. My 2-year-old little boy got a, a truck wheel stuck in his hair and I had to cut it off, cut it out. So I clearly need all the toddler tips I can get.
KAITLIN:
Uh, but the old saying really does hold true. Too much of a good thing is not so good. And we know the best things in life usually don't come with a quick fix. So Meredith and Kaley, I would love to know whether it's in your own life or you've just heard other women talking, what is one way you see us getting sucked into the illusion that we can essentially perfect life here on earth? And then letting that keep us stuck from seeing that we are doing better than we think and that abundance really is right in front of us.
MEREDITH:
Hmm.
KALEY:
That's a heavy question, but I think it's related to what our 1-on-1 was just about earlier today. Uh, we, I mean, Meredith has been my boss for 12 and a half years. It's been a long time. I was hired when I was 12. Guys. I'm only
MEREDITH:
Right.
KALEY:
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.
MEREDITH:
Child labor laws. Someone's reporting me.
KALEY:
Just kidding. Uh, but working through that, I think some, sometimes the thing that will consistently come up, and I wrote it down, it's perfecting. The process in isolation versus working through the process with people.
KALEY:
And I think what you said, Kaitlin, about you're doing better than you think you are. I think the longer you commit to something and stick to something, there's this assumption that years equate to having it all together or like knowing it all. And that's not actually true. Uh, but I think the longer you work somewhere, the more tempting it is to work in isolation and not ask for help. And try to perfect the process before you actually get started.
MEREDITH:
Mm-hmm.
KALEY:
And that, that keeps you stuck.
MEREDITH:
Mm-hmm.
KALEY:
Because you, you try to look like you have it together, which is true. Yeah, yeah. Totally before you, instead of just inviting people in to where you are and getting unstuck more quickly.
MEREDITH:
Yeah. Uh, I think that's a really good point Kaylee, and I'm gonna drill down into it just a little bit more. Mm-hmm. Um, I am the elder in the room podcast listeners. Um, and I think I have really learned in the last couple years specifically. And I'm gonna give an example in just a minute, but when you're talking about perfecting the process.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
Okay. And when you're talking about you're doing better than you think you are, in the last few years, I have been broken in a way that I have never been broken before and came to the end of myself in a way that I've never come to the end of myself before. I won't go into all the details, uh, but I am naturally a very high capacity. Um, lots of energy, lots of drive person.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
And some things happened in my world that were completely out of my control.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
Not just in one area, but in many areas. And I found myself quite literally falling apart, like at that spot where it was like, I have nothing left. Nothing left to give.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
There's zero gas in the tank. There's no ideas. I don't know my way out of this, and in that season of my life that I still would say I'm probably still walking in, uh, the Lord had to redefine what, perfecting what is the process.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
Go all the way back. What is even, I would say, I would venture to say the idea of you're doing better than you think you are. I had adopted some ideas of what better was based on what I was seeing around me.
KAITLIN:
Yeah.
MEREDITH:
And so better was, um, always looking and feeling, always feeling peaceful.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
And peaceful always being not, um, things falling apart.
KALEY:
Yeah.
MEREDITH:
And when I defined doing better as that, like, I, I wanna do better. It's you guys, it's, it's an impossible goal.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
KAITLIN:
Yeah.
MEREDITH:
I was, I have. Currently four children. That's even, even answering that, like, why do you have currently is a complicated question because my life had compounded so much, you know? And so instead of, I have had to like, I'll, I'll give an, I'll give an example. Um, I'm, I don't, I, I'm always trying to protect my children's identities when I talk about them in a public setting. And so I wanna be careful the way that I say this, um, but. One of my children began to struggle in school in a way that I didn't think was gonna happen, and we ended up having to, to remove him from school and put him in a different school, and that was, that felt like, falling apart. Like I, it's, this is not what I thought. This is what, wait a minute, I did something wrong. I missed something. We didn't prepare right. We didn't. All these different things. And Kaitlin, to your point, I felt like a failure.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
KAITLIN:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
All of a sudden. And I felt like, oh my gosh, this is not it. And I don't even have anything left to give here to be able to, to. Fix this. You know? And so I don't know if that complicates the situation in where you were taking this, Kaitlin, but when I think about that comment, you're doing better than you think you are. I can't help, based upon the last few years of my life, pause and say, Ooh, hold on. What does even better mean?
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
You know?
KAITLIN:
Yeah. That is, that's good. So good. Um. Well, I'm like, okay, well that was it. That was the podcast.
KALEY:
Thanks for tuning in today, folks.
MEREDITH:
No,
KALEY:
No your teaching is so good. Keep going. Um, no, seriously, Meredith, that was, um, that blessed me. And you know, I, I like laughed and mentioned to you guys that I left a, a play date in tears yesterday and that was a mild.
KAITLIN:
Uh, explanation of that. I was I was truly crying and I was not. Well, and like, on a very different level than what you're even talking about. I'm sure it, it, it has been that season of, you know, like Kaley mentioned, I have three little boys. Like, it's, it's chaos and it's a lot and I constantly feel like I'm at the end of myself.
KAITLIN:
And to be honest, Meredith, I've never even thought of it like that, of like, what is better? Because you're right, when I think of. You're doing better than you think you are. Well, better looks this exact certain way. And I said out loud in my car with my kids yesterday, but to myself, like, Kaitlin, you would never have peace.
KAITLIN:
Okay, but what is peace? Does it mean like I have makeup on and my car's clean and we're all riding and like singing? I mean, I think that's what we think is supposed to be happening. Um, and that goes perfectly with this point of like, we. We see all of these ways that we think we're supposed to be living.
KAITLIN:
And if we can just do it all, we can get it together and we can just, we can figure it out. And the funny thing is, I just a little, you know, breaking the fourth wall for the podcast listener, I didn't come up with a title for this and I was like, I'm sure. Um, you know that they will later. And I didn't really even mean to kind of drive home this whole, you're better than you think you are phrase. That's not even really, it's only in my notes like one time. Um, but I really love that we just kind of emphasize that and debunks the myth that better has to look perfect.
KAITLIN:
Um, and that takes us right to Exodus 16 where I was headed in this teaching because we read about God providing manna from heaven for the Israelites, and this is, this is one of my favorite stories. It's so wild and it's so layered and there are so many things we can gather from it. And if you've never read it. Read it and then read it again. Uh, 'cause it's, it's a crazy story. But in verse 19, Moses and like poor Moses, they really never listened to him. I do feel bad for him quite often, but he instructs them not to leave any of it left over till the morning.
KAITLIN
So like, don't hoard it up. Don't think like God's not gonna give you enough and just save some on the side. Okay. They were, he was very clear about that, but they did not listen. And the leftovers bread worms and stink. I, I think that might be verbatim from my Bible. They hoarded up the blessings because of their scarcity mentality.
KAITLIN:
And if you're over there like, oh my gosh, I do that too, you're not alone. Rather than trusting God would provide enough for each day, for each moment, for each season of unraveling. So I start to think like, wow, are we kind of in a rotten manna era here with like all the advice we're inhaling all the um, images we think we are supposed to look like all the ways. Like Meredith just said, that better is supposed to be, um, even. The ways we are supposed to achieve peace. And I just wanna stop right there and say, like, when I start to think that, like, how can I achieve peace? You can't achieve and peace like that, that's like an oxymoron.
KAITLIN:
It goes, it goes totally against each other because God is peace. Like you can't achieve it. You, you can't get on the cross and die and have, get yourself peace. He sent Jesus that is peace. Um, and so first and foremost, like we, we have to like take that pressure off of ourselves and let him handle the peace.
KAITLIN:
Um, and I really do. I think all the tips and tricks and the life hacks. The people we, you know, try to emulate. It just leads to like more stuff, more pressure, more items in our homes, more to-do lists in our lives. And we, we just really aren't seeing the fruit from it. We are dealing with the stink of spoiled leftovers instead of seeing fruitful lives.
KAITLIN:
And the thing is, God has given us exactly what we need. Enough manna for each day, for each season, for each project, each meeting, each workday, and even each obstacle is small or large. So when we panic and try to hoard more than he asked us to gather, do more than he has called us to do with our human limitations, we disobey his command to rest, and so then we reap the consequences of ruined manna.
KAITLIN:
I just want you to like hear that again. When we disobey his command to rest, we reap the consequences of ruined manna. We are constantly consuming information and then trying to do all the things with all the information.
KAITLIN:
We are taking every TikTok video to heart and convincing ourselves we aren't good enough. We partners, parents or people if we aren't baking our own bread while working a full-time job, homeschooling our children and eliminating all the dyes and screens from our lives. And again, none of this is inherently sinful, but it becomes sinful when we build idols out of trying to become the perfect versions of ourselves that we will really only ever become in heaven.
KAITLIN:
And it becomes sin when we try to override our brokenness and bypass our pain with the latest trend in the newest theory. But here's the good news. We get to make a daily decision to bust down the idol of doing it all and lay our limitations at his feet. And I do mean daily. Probably even hourly, maybe minute by minute, some days honestly.
KAITLIN:
First Peter 5:8 says, be sober minded. Be alert. Your adversary, the devil is ping around like a roaring line looking for anyone he can devour. We have to be aware and ready if we want to live like the overcomers God created us to be and continue on in the good work of spreading his gospel, we must learn to discern what is ours for the doing and what tips we should take to heart versus what we are collecting too much of out of our fear of lack, and one practical way I have been more intentional in being sober minded is naming what might be distracting me or invoking discontent in my life.
KAITLIN:
What is convincing me that I don't have enough, that I'm not doing enough or even that the people around me that I love aren't doing enough for me. Whether that's kids, husbands, friends, coworkers, we all have a circle. And if you heard earlier, like the good work of spreading his gospel and you thought, well, I don't preach or teach.
KAITLIN:
Yes you do. You absolutely do. Whoever you are in contact with that is your mission field and you, you've been called to tell people the good news. So I have started auditing three areas of my life on a regular basis, and I would encourage you to do the same, even if you just pick one. Uh, but I'm gonna give you a few examples.
KAITLIN:
So social media is a no-brainer. We can all very easily get sucked into letting us scroll through a curated. Curated feed influence us more than God's truth and more than real life wisdom from those around us who are following God closely. I have to be incredibly careful about what accounts I follow and how much time I'm spending on my phone, and even just as of late, I have noticed I'm on my phone way too much. And it is affecting me.
KAITLIN:
And you know, the hard part is I do social media for my job and it's a gift. And social media can be so good in so many ways, but when it becomes overwhelming and I'm noticing the way I talk to my husband and kids or my mood, that those are affected by too much time on my phone, I really do have to audit and say, okay, how do we practically lessen time on our phones?
KAITLIN:
And sometimes it is an all or nothing thing where you take a social media break. And you shut it off for a month. Uh, but if that isn't possible, it's okay to just cut it down, cut it in half, and try to do little by little so that you can see a big difference. Also, if you are following people that you notice it's not their fault, but they are affecting you by what they post or what they say, and you just feel like, wow, her husband does that, or, wow, her home looks like that.
KAITLIN:
Or, oh my goodness, her kids are dressed well, they behave again. It's curated. And we don't know what is really going on. And if it is affecting us, then we do have to distance ourself from that, whether it's an influencer or um, someone with thousands of followers, or if it's someone we follow that, you know, lives down the street or goes to church with us.
KAITLIN:
We have to take those measures and set boundaries. Again, it doesn't have to be because it's their fault, but we do have to, you know, really kind of audit what. What we're seeing. And on the flip side, how are we portraying our lives in a way that might cause someone else to stumble? So I start there with, you know, social media and my phone and what that's looking like in my life.
KAITLIN:
Um, and then another area I try to look at are relationships. Um, social circles, close friendships. Whatever it may be. Um, we have to look and see, you know, what is helping me be sober-minded? Are the people we're spending the most time with encouraging us to go at God's pace? Or do we leave dinners and gatherings, play dates, um, you know, get togethers with friends feeling more behind or more of a need to produce or perfect.
KAITLIN:
And of course we should be surrounding ourselves with people in all phases of their faith, okay? Um, including those who aren't believers too. But I am talking about your closest friends who you are running the race with side by side. How might those people in your real life be affecting these feelings of inadequacy?
KAITLIN:
And then let's not forget again, the flip side. Consider how we might be affecting others with the things we say and do. We want our conversations and our daily lives to glorify God, and we want iron sharpening iron relationships. Um, I know that this can be hard. I know adult friendships, um, are very difficult.
KAITLIN:
I know once you have kids it adds another layer of difficulty because you're trying to find people who mesh with you, your spouse, your kids, um, whatever that may look like. And, you know, when you're fresh outta college and you're in your twenties, it's a different kind of part. So wherever you find yourself today, I do see and acknowledge that finding community can be really difficult.
KAITLIN:
Um, but I do think that when we. Really become intentional about who we are pouring into and who is pouring into us. Um, I was recently just in a bible study at my church and we kind of get randomly put into groups and I was the only person with little kids in my thirties. I think everyone else was at least 60 and above, and it was.
KAITLIN:
The best Bible study group I've ever had because I just got to soak up their wisdom and you know, they would be like, well, we're getting wisdom from you too about how to help our daughters and our sons and whatever. I think they were just being nice because I'm like, are you kidding me? I have so little to offer you and compared to like, you have lived this whole life and you are so focused on eternity and on heaven because you are, you are closer to it. And I think that finding people like that, again, we're not running our race side by side necessarily, but they're a little bit ahead of me and they were able to just help me focus on what really mattered.
KAITLIN:
You know, we weren't, we weren't talking about superficial things. We weren't even really talking about. Our kids or sports or anything like that. We were, we were really just talking about the word and about about Jesus. And that helped me take that perspective and take it back into the friendships and the relationships where of course we're gonna talk about school, of course we're gonna talk about sports, of course we're gonna talk about motherhood.
KAITLIN:
But shifting that perspective and being able to see like, how am I being sober minded and remembering, you know, what's really at stake and what really matters here. Um, so that's another great place to audit. And then our priorities. So each day comes with its own worries. We all know that. And Matthew 6:34 reminds us of that really well.
KAITLIN:
We cannot possibly get everything done every day. Some people are paying house cleaners or nannies. Some people are working multiple jobs. Some people are saving money for their kids to go to summer camp instead of renovating their home. No one is doing it all. Okay. No one, no matter what you think, no one is doing at all, we have to decide moment to moment if we're gonna send emails or fold laundry, play outside with the kids or put away our dishes.
KAITLIN:
Systems help and organization helps and other people helping helps. But again, no one can do it all, all the time. And I think that just, that does go back to. What, what better looks like, what perfect looks like, what peace looks like? Um, we really, we get tricked. I think the enemy tells us when we wake up in the mornings, like, Hey, she's potty training her child and recording a podcast and she's gonna meet up with friends later for dinner and she's gonna look really good while she does it.
KAITLIN:
And guess what? Maybe on that one day that girl did what all the things that you just said, but her every day doesn't look like that. The next day she might be in sweats all day trying to mop the floors after the third spill of the morning before 8:00 AM. Um, so when we have to really sit down and assess our priorities, we have to look at what matters the most today for me.
KAITLIN:
And the best way to do that is to say, God, what do you have for me today? What do you want me to do today? And guess what? Some days it is like, Hey, let's get the house in order. Let's pick up, let's put the laundry away. But the very next day it might be, no, your kids really need attention. Or, Hey, that friend really needs you to go take her coffee so the laundry can wait.
KAITLIN:
Um, I think that we just have to be so in tune with the spirit and we have to really. Being our word. We have to be surrounded with those people that remind us of those things. And when we get our priorities in order again day to day, I think that really helps us to remember that we cannot possibly do it all in one day, but we can do what matters every single day.
KAITLIN:
Um, and just remember, it is not possible to check every box every day. So don't let the internet convince you that you're broken or behind. Um, and if we could do it all. I want you to really hear this. If we could do it all, we wouldn't need Jesus. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to live that kind of life.
KAITLIN:
I want to need Jesus and our Israelites. Those, those sweet Israelites, they survived off manna for 40 years. And it eventually became a physical testimony for future generations to see as a symbol of God's perfect provision. Even despite their grumbling, their hoarding, he still gave them perfect provision, and he's the only one who can consistently provide what we need.
KAITLIN:
He is the one who strength is made perfect in our weakness. According to 2 Corinthians 12:9. His help in our lives is what becomes our testimony that will serve as a reminder for someone else to see that our limitations, our weaknesses, are opportunities to let God in. So I wanna leave us with this question today.
KAITLIN:
How are we stewarding the man that God is giving us each day in such a way that will serve as a testimony for others to believe, for God's perfect provision in their own lives? And I would just love to pray for us to close out. Hmm.
KAITLIN:
God, will you help us steward the man that you give us and help us to do so in a way that points people to your perfect provision? Please search our hearts and purify our motives. We surrender it all God, each moment, each day, each area of our lives right back to you. Please remind us that we cannot do it all on our own and that you never intended that for us. Anyway, guide us back to Your Word before we go anywhere else for advice and please God. Let those around us see your strength and abundance on display in our lives.
KALEY:
Amen.
MEREDITH:
Amen. Gosh, Kaitlin, there were so many good nuggets in this teaching that I, um, I wrote down so many quotes that it's like, I wanna go back and kind meditate.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
Because you've given us a really, really good challenge. You, you said, I loved this 'cause I, and I'm like, this is the one that I need to, I need to sit with this for a while, which is what is convincing me. I don't have enough that I'm not doing enough mm-hmm. That people aren't doing enough for me. Like what is convincing me? Which is what led you to kind of that audit of like, what is, what is making me believe this, you know?
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
That, going again, back to that Eden question, who, who, who told you that, you know?
KAITLN:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
Um, and as you touched on priorities, I couldn't help but like wonder how have you. Or how, how do people really establish those priorities in their lives? You know, what did that process look like for you so that you could, 'cause at least I found in my life, it's like I'll establish my priorities.
KAITLIN:
Mm-hmm.
MEREDITH:
And then something bumps up against those priorities and all of a sudden I'm tempted to change my priorities all of a sudden. Yeah. And so I would love to. Hear from you. Like what does that process of establishing those and then like kind of reassessing those as as life goes on, what did that look like for you?
KAITLIN:
That is such a good question. I'm really glad you asked that because even as you were saying that like reassess your priorities, I think it's so important, um, just as followers of Jesus to. Be able to pivot.
MEREDITH:
Mm-hmm.
KAITLIN:
And if you look at the Bible and you look at Jesus' life, he was really good at that. He was really good at pivoting. He was one of my very favorite stories in the whole Bible is the story of the bleeding woman.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
KAITLIN:
And Jesus was on his way to heal someone else. Um, you know, he was on his way to help a sick girl, and he stopped. And you know, the bleeding woman touched his garment. She was healed. And we see story after story like that where his priority was always people. And his priority was always, how do I bring, you know, people to my father? But he was always willing to pivot. And so for me personally, and you know, this might be a hot take because everybody does things differently. But. I really struggle to sit down, like, and do a, a big like goals sheet each year.
KALEY:
Mm-hmm.
KAITLIN:
Or even each quarter. I want to, I, I want to be that girl. I really do, but I'm not, and I've had to realize like, that's okay. And it's, it, it just, it goes back to this whole teaching is that you don't have to do this the way that you. Seeing someone else does it. Um, or even the way that someone who's really good at it says to do it.
KAITLIN:
If you know that, like, Hey, in this season of my life, and like for me personally, I have little kids, I have to take it week by week really, but, but day by day, honestly, and that's where, mm-hmm. I think it is really helpful to have like, okay, here are my top three priorities this week. That like non-negotiable, these things are the most important.
KAITLIN:
And then there's kind of like the secondary and tertiary priorities of, I would really like for this to happen and I would really like for this to happen. And those other things I think we need to hold, well, we need to hold all of it loosely open-handed, like God on the drop of a dime. Like if you tell me to change something like.
KAITLIN:
Let me, let me be softhearted enough to know and to hear you and say like, okay, I do need to pivot that I, I know that I need, I do need to get A, B, and c done. Please help me get those done and please help me to also see when there is room for a pivot and that I do need to say. Okay. You know what, I'm, I'm supposed to clean my house today and that is a priority for my family, but a friend needs me.
KAITLIN:
And, and people, like I just said, Jesus always had people as a priority. Mm. So I think when we. I kind of do a bird's eye view of like, God is the number one priority in our lives. Our families come next and then people in general come next. Um, so I think that like even auditing the audit with that in mind really does help me.
KALEY:
That's so good. I feel like I feel very deeply having to come back to my list almost on like a daily basis.
MEREDITH:
I love the audits, the audit.
KALEY:
Audit, the audit. Like you're never done.
MEREDITH:
You're never done.
KALEY:
Oh. Um, but I think. Kaitlin, as I, as I listened to your teaching and I, and I reflected back on, um, our chat at the beginning whenever we talked about our definition of better. And even the phrase, you are doing better than you think you are. What does it start with? What does it start with? It starts with you. You, and I think sometimes that's like when we start with ourselves, Kaitlin, what the thread that I kept picking up is like we have a scarcity mentality when what we start with who?
KAITLIN:
Yep. You so good.
KALEY:
We, we have limitations because we are human, like all of this. And if the question is constantly, am I doing better than I think I am, or if I constantly need to hear, you are doing better than you think you are. That is a world mindset. But I think the definition of being sober minded is almost the sobering reality that what we do today is not just about today. Like if we really lay our limitations down and say, God, this is what is on my agenda for the day, but you might blow it to pieces. That's what Proverbs 16:9essentially says.
MEREDITH:
Yes
KALEY:
A little bit more summarized, you know. But like we can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. And I thought back to. The way that Lisa Turkers unpacks the beatitudes as the upside down kingdom of heaven. Mm-hmm. And it's, it basically, the beatitudes are a summary of the things that you think matter. Really don't matter. Yeah. And one day you'll find out what really mattered. And I think that that is what being sober reminded it is.
MEREDITH:
Yes.
KALEY:
It's the sobering reality that if my day doesn't turn out the way that it is or if I don't do that, one thing that I had said was a priority today. Then, yeah, I'll never do better than I, I'll never be better than I think I am. But the point isn't me being better at anything. The point is living open handed and just trusting that one day it'll all make sense.
MEREDITH:
Yeah. The days that are blown to pieces or when your kid gets taken outta school and all of that, like you don't know. And you might never know.
KAITLIN:
Yeah.
MEREDITH:
Right.
KALEY:
And being sober minded means that you have to know in reality. This is, this is a life surrender to Jesus. Amen. Amen. And this is what it looks like, and I'm really challenged by this in the best way today.
KALEY:
Kaitlin, thank you for coming on my friend, and just, um, sharing with us a little bit about what you're learning. I really enjoyed our discussion today. And, um, friends, if you're listening and you heard us talk about Kaitlin's book, uh, that is not yet released, give us a title again, one more time.
KAITLIN:
Yeah, so the full title with the subtitle too is She Just Won't Quit: Embracing the Practice of Everyday Perseverance.
KALEY:
Love it. Um, we mentioned that that book is coming out later this year, but you can pop online wherever books are sold. Mm-hmm. And pre-order it, so it comes to you as soon as it's released. And then next we mention Kaitlin is on the social media team at Proverbs 31. If you're not already following us on Instagram or Facebook or whatever social media, random platforms are out there. I'm sure we're on it because, um, we know that you need a break in your day. And the words that our team writes, um, truly minister to women around the world every single day. And I know every time I open my feed and see PP 31, it's gonna bless me right at that moment. So,
MEREDITH:
That's right.
KALEY:
Be sure to follow.
MEREDITH:
And we wanna be a part of interrupting that scroll. Uh, of comparison and remind you of truth of the truth of God's word. So we can't wait to meet you there. In your social media. Scroll. Yeah. Um, that's it for today, friends. Uh, thank you for being here at Proverbs 31 Ministries. We believe when you know the truth and live the truth, it really does change everything.