Navigating Home and Outside Culture - Episode 2

Sruti and Nithya discuss how being part of the South Asian diaspora can cause a lot of friction between the world of their parents at home and the outside American society. They talk about navigating between both cultures and how they balance family and their own individuality.

The Healing Space with MannMukti is a podcast produced by WKNC 88.1 FM HD-1/HD-2, student-run radio from NC State University. Like what you hear? Consider supporting it with a gift to the WKNC Enhancement Fund. Visit our podcast page to hear more and follow us on all social media platforms @WKNC881. Thanks for listening.

Creators and Guests

Host

Nithya Burisetty

Host

Sruti Bontala

What is The Healing Space with MannMukti?

The Healing Space with MannMukti is a safe, uplifting podcast dedicated to breaking the silence around mental health in South Asian communities. Each episode features honest conversations, expert insights, and personal stories that empower listeners to heal, grow, and feel seen. Together, we’re creating a space where vulnerability is strength and community is medicine.

Nithya - 00:12

Hi everyone. This is Nithya and this is Shruti. Welcome back to the Healing Space with MannMukti where we
create a safe and uplifting space to talk about mental health in South Asian communities. Today's episode is
something that so many of us feel but don't always have the words for.

Sruti - 00:29

We're talking about what it means to live between two worlds. So being raised in one culture at home and a
completely different one outside,.

Nithya - 00:37

If you ever felt like you don't fully belong anywhere, this episode's for you.

Sruti - 00:42

All right, so as Indian Americans or South Asians in general, we often grow up with two different value systems. So
at home we're part of our family's culture. So traditionally South Asian culture tends to be more collectivist, which
means it values more respect, obedience and putting family first. And on the outside, when we go outside into the
American culture that we're part of as well, this is more of an individualistic culture, which means that it values
independence and self expression and putting yourself first in certain ways and going between both these worlds
can give some sort of friction sometimes. And it's really important how we deal with this. So we prioritize
ourselves, but we also don't upset our families. I think that's a really big thing that South Asians in general tend to
worry about a lot.

Sruti - 01:41

So Nithya, how do you think that you've dealt with this throughout your life so far?

Nithya - 01:46

Yeah, so for sure I would definitely like feel like I'm different depending on whether I'm like at home or at school.
Like with the way I'm acting. Like I would change my behavior around my parents versus friends and I would
always feel like I can't talk about certain topics at home such as maybe something like mental health related or
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just like other like taboo topics that I would be. I would feel more comfortable talking about with my friends. But
especially with some friends who weren't like South Asian, I guess they would have like a different opinion on
whatever it is that I was like talking about. So I felt like I couldn't always like connect with them. And then I would
just feel like a little bit like lost because I couldn't find like where I fit in like this world.

Nithya - 02:35

Because I would definitely like hide parts of myself and yeah, I just, I would just feel like too American like at home
and I would because I guess I'm like more Americanized at school. But because of that I would feel like too Indian
around my friends that weren't South Asian. But yeah, so Shruti, do you think, like, this just happens, like, over time
or is, like, intentional? Or what do you think?

Sruti - 03:03

I think it's just natural. Cause you're growing up in two different environments. You want to keep your parents
happy, but you also want to be true to yourself. And I think, again, what. What you were saying before, being able to
talk about certain things with your friends, but then not being able to talk about certain things with your parents, I
would find that a lot of things that are normalized in American culture, like, I guess, being friends with guys, I guess
maybe in, like, dressing styles, what TV shows you watch, what music you listen to, these are all things that at least
my parents, they never came to grasp even while they've been living here.

Sruti - 03:53

So it's kind of, like, hard to explore things that you like or talk about things that you've been interested in
sometimes with your parents because they just don't get it. But then at the same time, I think for me, I do hold
certain values that are prominent indian culture. Even though I am Indian American and I am more Americanized
than my parents. Like, I would say I don't value obedience as much, but I do think, like, I would put, like, family first,
and I value, like, a collective more unit of a family more sometimes than in mainstream American culture. It's really
shown. But, yeah, I think for me, it's really. I don't even know how the code switching happens.

Sruti - 04:52

It's almost as if my mind just completely jumps to, like, a different way of thinking when I'm at home or, like, a
different way of behaving when I'm at home. And then it just jumps to a different way of behaving outside. Like, it's
not as much of a struggle for me because, I don't know, I feel like I don't have as much friction jumping between
both worlds. It's something that just comes, like, as second nature at this point.

Nithya - 05:22

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Yeah, I definitely agree. Me too. In high school and even, like, middle school, I definitely felt a little bit more struggle
with that. Maybe it's because, like, I felt like I didn't get the freedom I wanted to or just, like, I couldn't be who I am.
But now that, like, we're in college, like, I definitely feel like I'm being myself more, especially when I'm not at home.
So then when I am at home, like, it's easier for me to, like, I guess go back to being, like, more of, like, Indianized
version of myself. Especially, like, around my parents and, like, you Said like, I definitely feel like sometimes like I
am in like a box in a way.

Nithya - 06:06

Like I have to behave in like a certain way when I'm at home that like, and like I wouldn't be able to behave like how
I want to just because of like my parents like beliefs and stuff. And like, I do respect it but sometimes I do wish like
they might be more like open to just like being a little bit more like modern because of the society and everything.
Because like I'll see my friends, parents and they seem to be a lot more open and just like my friends can have
more like open and honest conversations with them that I might not be able to have. And like it's not wrong or
anything because it's just based on like my parents like beliefs which I do get since like they went through their
own struggles and everything.

Nithya - 06:51

And it's also like changed like over time. Like they're definitely more open now than they were when I was in high
school. But yeah, like over time, like it's more like a natural thing than like learned I guess, like my code switching.

Sruti - 07:07

Yeah, no, definitely. I think especially with the not being able to have like open and honest conversations, it feels as
if you always have to appeal to your parents values and they don't really make any effort trying to understand your
own either. And I think that's for me more than like me adapting to them and adapting to American society. I think
that's when things clash because they expect things to stay the same and they expect me and other people to
think the same way as they do. And it's like, oh, my way is the highway a lot of the times, I think with parents. But
it's also, in a way, they're holding on to Indian culture and Indian beliefs from the time that they left India. So my
parents moved to in the US and I think around 2001, around that time, early 2000s.

Sruti - 08:12

And so Indian society was really different back then from what it is now. And they hold a lot of the beliefs that are
from that specific point in time. Because if you go to India now, people think a lot differently. People, people are a
lot more modern. So it's like they're stuck in this little time capsule and they don't really interact with other people
other than other Indian people their own age. So it's just like they're in this bubble where they're not able to
understand different perspectives. So it does become hard. And I do think moving to college helped me deal with
that more because now it's like, in doses, like, when I have to kind of adhere to their standards instead of, like,
constantly, all the time.

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Sruti - 08:59

And I did get my time to more explore what I wanted to do, how I wanted to dress, how, like, the different hobbies
that I wanted to have. So coming back home, it's not as much of a struggle to adapt to them, because it's not, like,
a constant thing that used to be there as it was in high school because, like, even simple things like wearing
makeup were such a big deal in high school, because that's just something that they were not used to. But I do
think now that I'm in my 20s, like, I'll be 22 soon. It would be kind of ridiculous to, like, have such strict boundaries
or, like, regulations on those type of things at home.

Sruti - 09:42

But, yeah, I know that you mentioned, like, parents sacrifices, and that is a big thing that people love to talk about,
and it is such an important thing because our parents really had to move countries. They left their parents behind
india, and it was like, a whole new journey for them. They totally had to start over. Honestly, like, I've been in the
same town for, like, the last 10 years. I could not imagine moving to a completely different country, a culture that
I've never been really exposed to before, and just leaving my parents behind at home for decades on end. What
experiences have you had with thinking about that and that kind of dynamic in your household?

Nithya - 10:28

Yeah, no, I've definitely, like. I definitely agree with what you said about the whole, like, boundaries with regarding,
like, makeup and things like that. Because over time, my parents have definitely chilled out a little bit more. Maybe
it's because, like, they realize that I'm, like, getting older and they need to, like, stop being so, like, strict because,
like, there's only so much that they can really, like, tell me what to do and what not to do. Now that I'm, like, in my
early 20s, too, but with, like, sacrifices and everything. I know my parents have definitely sacrificed a lot, especially
since you have to, like. Since I had to move from India to here, like, just the two of them, like, all on their own. They
knew, like, no one here and to make, like, all the connections.

Nithya - 11:14

And they had to, like, my mom at least had to, like, basically learn, like, English, like, properly here and everything.
So that must have been, like, very hard. And, like, they definitely, like, brought a lot of their, like, Indian values and, I
guess, customs from that time. And I can tell they're still, like, trying to hold onto it, especially because my dad is
also from, like, A very small, like, village india. So even when we go back to India, like, a lot of the mindsets and,
like, customs and traditions, it's, like, the same. Because, like, the cities india might have changed, but I feel like the
small villages, not as much because, like, even my entire family on my dad's side, like, everyone's very traditional
and conservative, so he still has that same mindset.

Nithya - 12:00

And since my mindset is a little bit more, like, modern, it's, like, it definitely clashes over time. But I think, like, since
it's been, like, a few years since my parents have gone used to me, like, being, like, being kind of who I am and just,
like, having the freedom to do things that I might not have had at home, they definitely, like, are a little bit more, like,
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relaxed now, and they were definitely more, like, okay with me slightly exploring, like, who I am and, like, what I want
to do within, like, reason, I guess. But, yeah,.

Sruti - 12:38

Yeah, they definitely carried a lot of the same values that there were during the time that they left. I know that the
conversation about parents having to struggle is such a big one, but it also sometimes feels as if because they
struggled so much, there's a lot of expectation on you to make their struggle worth it, if that makes sense.

Nithya - 13:07

No, yeah, for sure. Because sometimes I have this feeling where it's almost like, I have to succeed. It's not, like, a
choice, because since my parents sacrifice so much, like, I have to succeed, so it. It feels worth it to them, and I
have to make them proud. And it's just, like, added, like, pressure onto everything else. Because I'm sure we're all
stressed with the things that we have to deal with, but sometimes it's like, it almost feels like I'm carrying my
parents, like, expectations and, like, their hopes, like, on me. Because my mom has mentioned that, like, there's so
many opportunities that, like, I've had and, like, I'm able to. That, like, she wanted, but she can't.

Nithya - 13:45

And so because she can't, it's almost like I have to do it for her, which I understand because of, like, he doesn't have
the opportunity, I guess, now anymore. But it definitely, like, leads to, like, anxiety and just, like, never feeling like
you're good enough, I guess, with whatever it is that you're doing because you feel like no matter what you do, it's
still not fully enough for your parents to, like, make them satisfied or happy.

Sruti - 14:14

But, yeah, no, exactly what I was gonna say, too. Like, it's just that it's Valid that they have high expectations of you.
And I think that's a good thing when someone has high expectations of you. But I don't think it's always healthy. To
the point where if you're not ever feeling like you're enough and you're not ever getting that validation that, like,
okay, like, you're doing okay, like, you are fine where you are right now. And when you don't get that, it feels like
you're in. Just in this rat race competing with everyone around you. And I mean, as we all know, like, Indians can be
very competitive. And again, like, yeah, my mom will always be like, oh, there's kids india that will never get to have
chances like this. You guys have everything you need to do so much more.

Sruti - 15:10

But after a point, it's just like, I'm not a superhuman. You know what I mean?

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Nithya - 15:15

Yeah. There's only so much you can do before you, like, burn out.

Sruti - 15:18

Exactly. Like, of course, like, there could be so many more things I could be doing, and I want to do more, too. But
at the same time, I think we need to be more forgiving on ourselves. As long as we're trying our best and we're
focused, I think it's okay. Because, I mean, everyone has their own capacity. And if you push too much beyond that,
you're only just going to break. Like, we're not machines just made for generating, like, profits or medals or
certificates. We're people.

Nithya - 15:54

Yeah. And I feel like, at least with me, I feel like sometimes my parents don't understand that you have to give
yourself, like, two time to rest and recuperate instead of just, like, constantly, like, being on the go and, like, doing
things. Because I feel like sometimes with my parents, like, if they see me resting or just, like, having fun, they see
that I'm just goofing off, but instead I'm just like. That's just like, how I, like, recuperate with stress and, like,
because I feel like if I don't have the downtime, then I don't even. Like, I'm not at my. Like, I'm not able to work
properly and get everything that I need to done. But my parents just see it as me goofing off when that's not really
the case.

Sruti - 16:35

Yeah, exactly. Like this constant, like, go, go culture. But the thing is, like, if you keep rushing through everything, if
everything is just like, oh, what am I supposed to be doing next? Like, I'm so stressed out. Your life is gonna pass
you by so fast, you won't even Know what hit you? Because you can only enjoy your life if you do slow down. We're
not on this planet for that long. That sounds kind of morbid. But truly, like, these few years, especially in the youth
that we have right now, you have to spend that time to enjoy your life as well. I guess it's always like, work hard,
play hard. But if you're always like, what's coming next? Then you're never in the moment. If you're never in the
present, you're just. You're not experiencing time the way you should be.

Sruti - 17:31

Like, that's when life will start going by. The years will start, like, flying back past you. And yeah, like, I just think this
constant hustle culture is so toxic because before you know it, you're gonna be 50 years old.

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Nithya - 17:48

Yeah.

Sruti - 17:48

Like a sore, like, back. And you're going to think, like, where did all those years go? What did I even do? Other than
what get, like, make your parents proud. I mean, you should make your parents proud. But, like, what did you do
other than just get a job and, I don't know, do what's expected of you society wise.

Nithya - 18:14

Yeah. You don't want to look back and regret that you should have had more fun or you should have, like, done
more with your life, because at that point you might not be able to do that. And I feel like regret is something that's
like, so hard to live with. So I feel like it would just make more sense to just make the best out of your time and
obviously, like, do what you should be doing, like get good grades or whatever. But I think, like, having fun and just
like, making those memories is very important too.

Sruti - 18:44

And that really reminds me because, like, of the Winter Olympics last month. I guess if you guys were paying
attention to the sports or anything, like, I think Alyssa Liu and Eileen Gu, like, these are two sportsmen that. Or
sportswomen that really made the headlines big because they won gold in both their sports. And I personally
learned a lot from them in this aspect because especially through Alyssa Lou, like, she was talking about how she
took rest from figure skin skating. And once she took the rest, she came back and she won gold for the US which
is really great. And she was talking about how she likes to stay in the moment and she just likes to have fun with
whatever she's doing. I think what her words were like, you can't lose if you're having fun.

Sruti - 19:33

And I think as a society, we really need to adopt that, especially as Indians, because it's almost as if Indian culture
It romanticizes like suffering, as in, like you have to be giving it your all. You have to be like working so hard to the,
to yourself, beating yourself to the ground. And that's just like, what's the point in that? Like, if you're having fun,
you can work better, you can be healthier and life just starts just glowing. Like you won't have. Things won't feel like
a drag if you're actually having fun with it.

Nithya - 20:18

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Yeah, yeah, no, for sure. Because I feel like putting in that much work and just like time, like constantly that's just
gonna lead to burnout and then you're not gonna be able to do your work properly like in the future because you
won't have the energy for it.

Sruti - 20:37

Exactly.

Nithya - 20:38

I just feel like as a society, like there needs to be more balance for sure.

Sruti - 20:42

I think not just with our parents, but in the social circles we are in as well with all the other like Indian families and
stuff. One thing that haunts most people is looking like they're not capable in front of other people. And I think
that's a big thing because if you fail at something, it feels like, oh my God, like all these people are going to know
that I failed at this. I'm going to get talked about, I'm going to get laughed at, and you're just going to be part of the
gossip, which often it honestly does happen. Like a lot of these people, they do talk about things, but I think one
thing is just like, it's your life. I mean, these people don't know you at the end of the day, if they're that miserable
that they're.

Sruti - 21:36

All they do is talk about people, like, let them be miserable. And I think one thing that helps me with my thinking is
that like, you can't be scared of failure because of what other people are going to say about you. Because when
you're scared of failure, that's when you start operating from like a lack mindset. And when you're in that mindset, it
feels as if everything's on the line. When you're doing something, you start attaching so much worth to it, so much
value to it, that even just the thought of failing scares you so much. But when you're doing things out of that
mindset, you're never going to be able to do anything properly. You're never going to be able to do anything to the
highest potential that you can because you're not relaxed.

Sruti - 22:26

Some of the best work that you'll ever do comes from when you're relaxed. So I think the mindset to go about with
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this is that you need to know that you'll be okay regardless of what your parents think of you, regardless of what
your parent, your peers think of you and what other social circles think of you. You just got to think to yourself, I
have me, and even if I fail, that's okay because I can get up somehow I'll be okay somehow. I think that's what really
helps me with this. But anyways, leading on from that, again, like, do you ever get feel stuck between expectations
of other people and your own personal goals?

Sruti - 23:13

Like, has, have they ever clashed that you've wanted something out of your life, like say, pursuing a certain hobby
or something else that your parents have kind of brushed aside?

Nithya - 23:27

Yeah, it's not very big. It's something big, but it's more just like things that I wanted to do maybe with like friends or
just like things I want to do like on my own. Like, for example, I'm like pre med and so I'm planning on taking a gap
year before med school. And my parents, like, they have like this big. They had this idea that like, if I take a gap
year, I'm just wasting my time and they want me to go straight into med school. And at this point it's too late for
that, obviously. But like a few years ago when were having that conversation, they were like, what will people think
if you're just wasting your time, like, doing nothing in between, like undergrad and med school?

Nithya - 24:07

And I always just felt like, it's your life, you know, what is the best for you and no one else knows how you truly feel.
And obviously with like parents, it's different because, like, they're always there for you and they're like, they're also
like, they spent like so much time like investing in your life and everything, so you can't just like, I guess, ignore
them and do whatever you want to do. But with that, like, at least with my med school, like, dilemma, like, I had to
just like explain to my parents that it was like normal and like, just because I want to take like a year or two, like in
between med school, I mean undergrad and med school, it doesn't feel like I'm wasting my life away.

Nithya - 24:47

And it doesn't really matter what other people think because it's my life and I'm living it and it's going to affect me
more than anyone else. And at the end of the day, like when I become a doctor, it's not going to matter how many
years, like, it took, you know, like, that would be the accomplishment.

Sruti - 25:03

Exactly. Like, okay, you're going to become a doctor at 32 versus 30. Is that really that big of a difference?

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Nithya - 25:10

Yeah, it's not. It doesn't really matter.

Sruti - 25:13

Yeah, like, as long as, say, you can have so many different experiences in your gap years. Like, you don't have to
stay at home, you can go travel, you can do experiences, like, in different cities, anything you want. Personally, in
my gap year, I was talking to you about this earlier. Yeah. But I really want to explore all the things that I didn't get
to do in any other part of my life. And especially, like, when you're in school constantly, especially from, I'd say, like,
maybe eighth grade to now, you never really have time to just explore the interests that you wanted to do. Like,
maybe when you were a child. Like, I wanted to learn how to ice skate when I was little.

Sruti - 25:57

I really wanted to do figure skating when I was, like, 6 years old, but I never got to do that. And. And, like, maybe in
my gap year, I can learn how to ice skate. Maybe not figure skating, but just, like, at least, like, something I wanted
to learn, how to play guitar. Like, there's certain things that you can make time for and you can really enrich your
life with, and that's the point of living, just to learn as much as you can. In my opinion, that's what we're here for.
Like, I mean, yeah, going straight into medical. Cool. School has its advantages. But then again, like, are you
making time for yourself? Like, are you living actually, or are you just following a path in.

Nithya - 26:39

And surviving?

Sruti - 26:40

Yeah, and surviving. Are you living or are you just surviving? That's a huge thing for me, I think. I mean, we always
see, especially our 20s, as this kind of, like, itinerary. Like, oh, graduate college, check. Get into grad school, check.
Get married, check. Have kids, check. Like, stuff like that. But it's like, where's the, I don't know, life in that?

Nithya - 27:07

Yeah, you should definitely, like, do things to make you happy and just, like, make the most out of life. Because
especially when you're not in school and you're, you know, you're going to have, like, a very, like, stressful career
ahead of you. Like, like, that's your time to just, like, spend time doing hobbies that you want to learn or just, like,
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activities or just hobbies or anything in general that will, like, make you happy and something that maybe you can
carry with you when, like, life gets very Stressful, because I know, like, in high school I had so many hobbies. Like, I
would paint a lot. I'll play the viola. I used to also crochet, things like that. But now with, like, everything going on
with, like, classes, MCAT and stuff, I. I just don't have the time for it anymore.

Nithya - 27:54

But in my gap year, I'm hoping to do that again because it definitely did help with my mental health. Like, painting
and even just reading a book, like, would calm me down so much.

Sruti - 28:04

Yeah, yeah, no, definitely. I think especially with what I was saying earlier, like, the kind of, I guess, itinerary or, like,
timeline that we think we're supposed to have. I think that's like, a huge thing indian culture that you have to do this
by this time. And if you don't do this, then you're waste. Like, exactly. And it's just like, who are we performing for?
Who is our audience? There's no one watching us. And honestly, anyone who is watching you, like, with full
attention, like, has no life. Because anyone who has a full plate, who has goals and dreams for themselves, they're
too busy focusing on themselves to think about you. Anyone worth your time and isn't out here, like, having an eye
on everyone and thinking about what they're doing. So really, you don't have any audience. It's just you on stage.

Sruti - 28:59

You can do whatever you want. And there's no one grading you based on what time in your life you're doing certain
things. And I think it's really important to break out of that because we have to live with happiness. That's. That's
why we're alive. Like, what's the point of anything if you're not doing it with happiness?

Nithya - 29:20

Yeah, no, for sure. Sometimes my mom will talk about, like, what will people think or what will people say? And I
just don't understand that mindset because why does it matter what others think when it's my life and what I do
has, like, won't affect them, you know? Like, it's different, I guess, if it's family, but if it's just, like, random, like,
people, like your family, friends or someone. Like, I don't understand, like, what. Like, why what they think or what
they believe about certain things has to affect how I act.

Sruti - 29:51

Exactly. And let them make fun of you for doing something. It's just like, anyone who is worth listening to is not
someone who would say those type of things.

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Nithya - 30:02

Yeah, for sure.

Sruti - 30:03

Like, so again, it doesn't even matter what people think. Like, if someone has A healthy mindset. If and you're doing
something that enriches your life, they would be happy for you.

Nithya - 30:15

Yeah, for sure. I think it also sometimes comes down to maybe, like, jealousy or something. Like, they're worried
that, like. Like. Like other people might feel like if they're talking, like, making those type of statements, it's maybe
because they're jealous about you or jealous about what you've accomplished or anything.

Sruti - 30:32

Yeah.

Nithya - 30:32

But that's just, like, not good, like, energy that you should be, like, dealing with. Like, I feel like, even with, like,
friends too, and stuff. Like, I've noticed that sometimes they can just be very jealous about, like, what you've
accomplished. And, like, you shouldn't have to, like, deal with that type of, like, mentality. Like, it's not good for you
too.

Sruti - 30:51

Yeah. And, yeah, I guess you should definitely distance yourself from people who are like that. Like, me personally, I
don't like to go to a lot of, like, these parties that different aunties host and stuff, because I especially. I think at the
point in time I am right now applying to medical school and such. It's just not good energy to have, like, people
constantly asking you, like, oh, what's going on? What's going on? What? What score did you get? Like, all those
questions, because they're not asking it because they're, like, genuinely excited for you. They're just trying to place
you in whatever, like, mental structure that they put other people in. Like, oh, is this person smart? Or are they
dumb? Or, like, stuff like that. And that's just not the energy that you need.
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Sruti - 31:42

And those type of experiences, they affect how you think about yourself, and that becomes your internal dialogue,
and then that becomes your behaviors, and that becomes who you are. Like, you always should put yourself in
positive spaces. And I think that relates back to your parents because it really hold. You really have to hold that,
like, delicate balance between trying to be a good daughter or son and prioritizing yourself. Because although your
parents are always there for you also need to make certain decisions for yourself. As in, like, if they're speaking too
negatively, I think it's okay to kind of maybe not shut those conversations down when they are saying those things,
but I think sometimes it's good to kind of like, divert the topic so your own mindset doesn't get affected. Does that
make sense?

Nithya - 32:57

Yeah, no, for sure. Because sometimes with parents, like, I know they want the best for you and everything, but
sometimes, like, they don't realize that what they're saying actually does the exact opposite. Like, Hurts you more
than they think, like, when they want to help you, but instead it just ends up hurting you and maybe, like
demotivating you two from trying to achieve whatever it is that you want to do. And sometimes, like, with parents,
like, because they want the best for you and they will have, like, such high expectations, they also kind of force that
upon you, and then that just makes you, like, even more, like, demotivated to achieve whatever it is.

Sruti - 33:34

Exactly. I just don't think encouragement should be something that is harsh. I just don't think humans operate in
that way. That's just not how psychology works. Like, if you're yelling at someone to do something, they're most
likely not going to do it.

Nithya - 33:51

Yeah. I just feel like Indian parents in general have this habit of just, like, yelling and lecturing and not maybe, like,
gentle parenting. And I feel like that would come a long way because whenever my parents have, in the past, like,
sat down and calmly talked about whatever it is that was bothering them or wanted me to change, like, I've
definitely been more, like, receptive to that than when they're just yelling at me. Because at the end of the day when
they're just yelling at me, then I just feel even worse, and I just.

Sruti - 34:21

You just don't want to do what they're telling you to do.

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Nithya - 34:24

Yeah, exactly. Like, I don't know. Then, like, them yelling just irritates me more, and then I just continue with the
same behavior I. I have been doing.

Sruti - 34:33

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I think placing those boundaries between you and your parents can be very hard.

Nithya - 34:43

It's very important.

Sruti - 34:44

It is very important. Like, it helps both of you guys stay happy, and it maintains your relationship. If you don't have
that, then you're gonna end up living with a lot of resentment, and that can slowly kill the relationships in your life.
So I definitely think, like, anything in life, this also needs balance. So balancing your American identity with your
Indian identity, that is the key, and that's kind of hard. But I think it just comes with wisdom and it comes with age
as well.

Nithya - 35:24

Yeah, for sure. Over time, it definitely gets easier to balance those two different identities.

Sruti - 35:30

Yeah. All right, so we're gonna end up finishing our conversation for today. So if you connected with anything we
talked about today, we just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. And so many people are navigating the
same in between space, even if no one talks about it openly. This is the healing space with MannMukti. And we'll
see you in the next episode. Thank you.