Why God Why?

Mercy shares her faith journey through college, family tragedy, and ministry work. She opens up about struggling to find herself on the track team and, as a student, then leaning on her Christian faith during her mother's cancer battle and death. Mercy currently leads Cru in the Rochester area, which serves college students.

What is Why God Why??

If you could ask God one question what would it be? The “Why God Why” podcast is dedicated to exploring the questions that matter most in your life.

Deep questions often don’t have easy answers. We realize that we won’t solve all the world’s problems in one podcast. Our goal is to share our life experience, interview knowledgeable guests and look at how Jesus might interact with our concerns. We also hope to have a ton of fun in the process because even though the issues might be serious, it doesn’t mean that we always need to be.

No matter where you are on your spiritual journey, we are honored to have you with us!

Welcome everybody to why, God? Why? So great to have you

with us. This is a space, where you can ask the

questions you don't feel comfortable asking in

church. And so I hope that today will be a real

blessing for you. I know it's going be a blessing for

me, because I get to sit next to a

friend of mine who I've known for several

years now. and it's just a

blessing to have you here. Mercy. Mercy,

I've known you since you were in college, I think,

actually. Yeah, probably. So that was how many years

ago now, Mercy?

Quite a few years ago.

We'll just say that

Mercy Benjo is, a friend. Not only a friend,

we used to work together for many years in campus

ministry. And so she's still doing that.

She is now in the role that I used to be

in back in the day, overseeing

campuses here in Rochester with the campus ministry

that we were a part of.

And, she's doing such a great job. I

just love watching you take things, seeing you

take things and run with it. It's beautiful.

Appreciate it.

Yeah. So, Mercy, let's start

off with just a little bit of your background

for people, because we're in the middle of this series here.

it's called Why Do I Still Follow Jesus? That's what

we're talking about with our

so, we'll dive into a little bit of your story, but just let

people know a little bit about where you're from,

kind of your passions in life, that kind of thing. So just a little

bit of background of you as a person.

Yeah, absolutely. so the where

you're from question is very interesting. M, I don't

really like asking that because I'm from so many

different places. So I was originally born in Nigeria,

mhm, and then we moved to New York City when I was about five years

old. And then we moved to Minnesota, lived there for seven

years, and then we moved to Nevada. And

then I made my way back up

to upstate New York for college and stuff.

So been around, been around the block a

few times if you,

so a lot of moving. Not military, though.

So a lot of people ask, gotcha.

Just family decided to do.

Yeah.

So there's a lot of story just in that itself before

we get on to anything else. There seems like

there's a lot there. The moving.

Moving, yeah.

So what age did you move from Nigeria to the

US? Five. Okay. Do you remember?

Not too much.

Okay.

Yeah. So what was that period

like for your family as you're moving?

I'll be don't like the earlier ones, I don't

remember. So from obviously from Nigeria to

the States? Don't remember that. Even from,

New York City to Minnesota? Don't

remember that too much. I think the more significant move

for me was definitely from Minnesota to Nevada. I was in, like,

middle school.

Oh, that's a big time.

Of course.

Yes.

Very angsty and was not very happy about

that.

So how did you respond to

how did that go for you?

Minnesota and Nevada is quite a difference

in a lot of things.

In a lot of things, yeah. I think for,

mean, I didn't really feel like I had much space to

respond any differently than to just accept it.

so I did. I think there was a point.

So I grew up in a Christian home. My family, we went to

church, a lot and

had somewhat of a relationship with God before this. But

really when the move happened, I didn't

want to and I was like, well, in my

middle school mind, I figured, well, I

can't change my dad's mind, but God probably

could. So that's when I really started

to pray and I was, like, writing. And it

was hilarious. He didn't change my dad's

mind. we stayed in Nevada, but

then know, grew closer to God in the

process.

That's interesting though. That's really interesting that you

would have that response and be like, well, God could change

my dad's mind. M

in putting yourself back there in those shoes,

how did that form your faith during that

time? Because you could have said, like, well,

he could change my dad's mind, but he didn't. So

that could make you, on one hand, feel, like, kind

of bitter about that. But did you feel bitter about

that? How did you feel?

Eventually I accepted it. It

was like, okay, yeah, no, actually, I think this is a

good place for me to be and other things

in life happen. And so

the move became less and less of

the main thing on my mind.

and I was also like, I don't know

how long it would take God to change my dad's mind. So we're

just going to see.

So then you go from Nevada to

mhm, you know, is

another different yeah. So you're

having to probably I don't want to speak

for you in here, but I would imagine if I was a kid,

all, ah, my grown up years, those are such different environments

that you're moving to that I would feel the

pressure to kind of morph

every move. I don't know. How would

that work for you?

I think from Minnesota to

Nevada, I was more in that mindset, like,

oh, I'm going to be a whole different person. M,

that didn't quite work out. But

I think, I don't remember a significant

making significant effort when I moved from

Nevada to, Ithaca to be

to reinvent myself in any sort

of.

But so then you're in mhm. Cornell

the pressures of everything. That's

there the craziness of

that place, which is a great

institution, wonderful. also

carries with it a lot of weight

because you're going there. Right.

It's funny, I didn't know Cornell existed

before. Like, the whole Ivy League

stuff. I was like, oh, what's this? And then my

guidance counselor in high school was like, Cornell.

So I was an athlete still m

am. so I got, like, a recruitment letter

for my sport from Cornell, which.

Was track, track and field.

I m was a runner, sprinter. Let me be specific

because I don't run.

No, but you do

run, just, if necessary, for

shorter periods of time.

Much shorter periods of time.

So you were recruited by Cornell mhm? Out of

nowhere.

To me, it seemed like out of nowhere.

Okay. Yeah, just out of nowhere. Yeah, just

recruited. Were you recruited by other

places?

Eventually, yeah.

Okay.

But I didn't get too many other letters,

honestly. I think, UNR, like the

university in my state. It's kind of, like,

expected. There's a lot of things there. So I was like, oh, maybe,

but Cornell got me first.

We'll do that.

There you go. So what was your spiritual

life like in college? How did that

morph for you?

Yeah, I think, so coming from

a faith background,

youth pastor encouraged. He's like, oh, make

sure you get connected to community. Make sure

you find people. And I'm like, okay,

sure. And then I've got track practice and stuff,

which I was way more

focused on.

were so, the different

Christian fellowships and groups at Cornell would do

just, like, different

events during orientation week and

stuff, most of which involved food.

And as a college student, as a college

athlete, food is like, if you want me to come to

anything or do anything, just have free food.

Right.

So I was there and I was like, oh, yeah, sure.

I'll put my number down, sign my life away

for a burger.

I got connected to one of the groups there,

Crew. and yeah,

just kind of

kept going with it. Mostly

I'm also a musician. so play instruments and

so got involved in their worship team and stuff.

And that's probably really what

solidified my

put my roots down there.

Yeah, I know you're a great drummer. What else do you

play?

I can play the guitar

and, like, a little bit of the bass. But

mostly at this point, guitar and drums.

Okay, well, look at you. See, that's something I didn't know about

you. I didn't know about the guitar part. I just seen you jamming on

the drums so much that I'm like, oh, Mercy's amazing. If you

ever get a chance to watch Mercy on the drums, you should do,

as in the middle of college, you met

people involved with crew. J Dubb is one of

my guys, so

love that dude. So you got a chance to hang out with him and

the FAM for a while, but, what are you going

through? You're an athlete. What else are you going through during

that season of your life, that's pretty

significant for you?

yeah, definitely. Even just, like, figuring out what

I want to do and who I want to be. I changed my major,

like, three times.

Just,

Kind of talked about, like, okay, college. There's a lot of Cornell,

but college in general, a lot of pressure, for me

from my parents specifically. so I

mentioned I was born in Nigeria. So ethnically

Nigerian? And, one of the,

what's it called? Just, like, expectations.

You'Re either a doctor, a lawyer, or an

engineer. Those, were the only three

acceptable occupations for me. So I

was like, okay, shoot. I don't really want to be any

of those. That sounds like a lot of work.

So started off like, okay, maybe I'll try the

medical route. My parents were both, like,

nurses, and, my older sister

was going to school for she was doing, like,

bio and stuff. And I was like, Maybe I'll try it.

Yeah, no.

Even in high school, I knew biology was, like, my worst

subject. But, like, engineering and

stuff, I was good with math until they started adding

letters, and then I wasn't. or

like, irrational

calculus. I can't no.

So I was like, engineering is definitely out. And

then lawyer. I'm not really

none of those three really sat with me.

So figuring out what I

wanted to do, and

even, with track,

too, it's like, obviously, I want to be

the best. I want to be the fastest. What do I got to do to do

that? but also, I don't want to work too

too hard, because that's a lot of work. I like to sleep. I

really like sleeping. Napping is, like, my favorite

pastime.

So there was just a lot of, like,

okay, how do I find

my way in and through

all this?

Right? And you ended up majoring in

what?

Communications.

Right here. As one of my professors told me,

my advisor said to me, if the good Lord would

have wanted X's and Y's to be numbers,

he'd have made them that way. So that's why

I resonated with that statement.

Anyway, when you were talking about once the letters

started getting in there not so much.

Not so much.

Yeah, not so much either. So

what would you name your biggest struggle during

that period of your life during that time? What would

you say

when you think back on it was the biggest

struggle that you had?

I think it definitely

related to,

just

I want to say, like, making a name for myself in a sense.

So, like, with track, right. I want to be

the best. I wanted to be the fastest.

I wanted the coaches to always take me on the, away

trips because you weren't guaranteed a spot. There are so many people

on the team. and

there was just this sense of

accomplishment with getting

a certain status.

the teammates would look up to you and actually

listen to you. The coaches actually, it's

like you mattered, right, if you were good. Mhm, but

only if you were good.

Yeah.

and so that was like a struggle for me because

you come from high school where I was the

best in a sense. And

then come to a school where everybody's the best

and then it's just like a who, okay,

this is hard. Very different.

Yeah. and how

long did it take you to adjust to that?

I don't think I ever really did maybe even go into

senior year, honestly.

No, that's good. I get that.

All those years. And

it did get to a point where I was like, talking

I had a conversation with, one of my coaches

because I was like, what do I need

to do? Part

of me too, even as I look back and I'm like, even if you had told

me something else, I probably would have had a hard time

doing it now. Looking back, I was like, oh, if I knew what I

knew now, all this other stuff anyway. But

he said something that really

stuck out to me and he was like, well, you just got to be

extremely selfish with your time and you

have to, put

all what I heard from it

anyway. I don't know exactly what words he says was like, you have to

be selfish and you can't care about

anyone else or anything else but

like, getting your goal and getting

it. And that's going to look like

spending hours in the gym

lifting more or, working

through because I had a lot of physical issues,

pain and stuff. And, that just didn't sit right with me.

I was m, like, I don't really want to do

that. I care about other people.

And, apart from that, what

really, I think hit me with that was

that it would mean or it was kind of like he

was asking me to take a step back from

my faith in a sense. He didn't say

this, of course, but I was involved with

crew. I was leading a Bible study and,

pursuing God. And

what he was basically saying is, track has to

become not my God, but

above my number one priority,

above anything else, if I want

to do what I wanted to do. And I

was kind of like, no.

this was like beginning of senior

year or something along those lines.

Yeah.

I was just kind of like, no.

Well, that's a hard one to let go because

as an athlete, so much of your

it's kind of like an identity thing. It's like an

identity crisis when it's like,

I don't want to let this go. I don't know.

I was an athlete too. I played baseball

in college and it's like there's a lot of your

at least for me, I gained a lot of my

worth from that. Just being on the team

itself gave me worth.

not all of that's bad. There's a great camaraderie to it.

That's awesome. But, when it becomes

the number one priority,

that's when it can get

kind of messed.

Yeah, absolutely. And for sure, my identity

was partially wrapped up in that.

And my, success

as an athlete,

oddly, enough, when I decided

to kind of let go of that, I started doing much

better.

Really?

Yeah. Interesting to a point. And then I

got severely injured and then just tanked.

And I was so mad.

I was so bad. Like, the last semester of my

senior year, I was like, ow,

I could hardly run. It

was kind of funny.

but the moment at which you let go,

you actually experienced.

Yeah, it was like freedom. I mean, it could

also be attributed we got new coaches. Like, different things happen

too, but sure. I do feel like part of it was

just me not, like, tensing up

and striving so hard. It was just kind of like, okay, and now

we're just going to do what I can and do this. And

then ended up working pretty

well. Yeah, until I got hurt.

But darn interesting.

You move on from college and

you joined Crew at that point, right?

Yeah. So obviously, life was perfect from then

on and you didn't have any other problems. So that's good. Yeah, of course.

Congratulations. what would you say

subsequently have been some of those moments in your life

where you go like, man, I

don't know. I had a tough one either given this one

up, like, identity thing,

became that track thing, or just

situations that you've walked through that you're like,

I don't want to have to relive that one over again.

what are some of the things that pop into your mind when you

think about that?

Yeah,

well, the one, specifically, that was probably

one of the hardest times in my life was when my mom passed

away. That was back in 2017.

and so there was

a lot of transitioning happening in

my life at that time too. and

even just, like,

seeing myself

even before it

happened. Right. She'd been sick. and how I

responded to that, I think,

was kind of like a

and sometimes I feel like we don't really recognize,

but we take our parents for granted sometimes.

Like, oh, no, they're always going to be there,

so let me do what I want. Well, this was

my mindset. Let me do what I want now. And then

mom will always be there, so I'll go

check on her later. and later never came for

me anyway. and at that

point, too, I interned with

Gross part time staff with Crew, but was kind of

transitioning out of that and looking for a new

job hadn't gotten wet, so I wasn't working at all.

And then my lease was up and they

were like, it was getting way too expensive for me because I don't have

a job. I won't really have anything. And so I was also looking for a

place to stay, looking for a new job. And

then my mom passed away. I was like,

okay,

I think I was sleeping on multiple friends couches for

like a month or so. Just, kind of bouncing

around. so that was probably

one of the

after college, right?

Wow, that is a significant

thing. I mean, I've walked through that as well. Like,

losing a mom and that's really

hard.

give us a picture of your mom. Like, what's your

favorite memory if you look back and you think

of a happy time,

mhm. What comes to your mind when

you think about that? A story or whatever.

She was always singing.

Yeah. And she'd like makeup songs.

but she really made it a point. She

tried to be always happy and cheerful as much as she

could. Right. and

so that was one thing. Another thing, just

like earlier on childhood

type, always going to sleep with the sound of her

cooking or something, doing something in the kitchen, really.

And I didn't go to bed, like, at eight. We went to bed at like ten

and she was in the kitchen. And

so it's like, yeah, going to sleep with like,

pots and pans and then like water running and stuff like

that. so she was very a hospitable woman.

She always took care of everyone

before herself. Sometimes I was like, mom,

you got to take care of yourself. But

again, to a point that sometimes it was kind of like,

not good for her health wise, but

she didn't really care. She would

literally take the shirt off her back or like,

oh, you're hungry? Take me. Even if it's her only

food for the day, she will give you her food.

Wow. What an inspiration,

huh? Wow. I could see how some of that

has passed on to you in your life. Yeah,

it's a beautiful thing. So

losing somebody like that,

it's not a quick thing. Right.

That's a pain that lingers and

still can linger. How did you navigate it at

the time of,

feeling the pain of it and like,

oh man, I thought my mom was going to be around forever. Now she's

not. How did you navigate it?

yeah, I think

just like, spending time in prayer.

yep.

friends were like, people were supportive. but

it's also hard for me to

really open up and reach out to other people with

that.

now I think also as a result, me and my siblings are a

lot closer with each other. and so we just

made more of an ah, effort to like, okay,

let's actually stay in contact

and communicate and check in on each other and

be there for each other kind of deal.

That is a natural part of it.

It's a blessing. But you

don't want that to be the reason for it,

right? Yeah. I don't know if you experienced

this for me, everybody's journey through

grief is different. So I lost both my parents,

but I think specifically with my mom,

it was,

the I didn't

know how I would respond, but I couldn't

open up my Bible for like, three

months. It wasn't necessarily

that I was mad at God.

It was like, I can't go there right

now. And

in some ways I think I felt guilty about it or

something, but it was just like,

I couldn't do it. I don't

know. Did you have any responses in

grief to feeling like, man, my

relationship with God is different now,

mhm, than it was?

Yeah,

definitely took a dip

of just like, again, I wasn't

necessarily mad at God. I was more

mad at myself, honestly,

because I felt not because I felt

like I could do something about her passing, but because

I felt like I didn't do enough before,

spend enough time with her, actually care for

her or whatever, like I should have. so it was a

lot of me feeling like I

failed. and so,

yeah, I don't recall

specifically, not like, oh, I'm not reading my

Bible. I definitely took a break

from leading

worship, playing drums and stuff like

that for a hot second. And,

even just like, there are certain songs or worship songs that are

just like, no, I can't listen to that right now.

And what did your mother pass away of?

endometrial cancer.

Wow. Mhm got you. So it was a long

journey.

It was I remember the first time she was

diagnosed and then we went to

visit. and then she got surgery.

and then did some chemo and then she relapsed

came back. and then

they did chemo again, but

she did not like the chemo. She was

not happy about it.

yeah, so it was a number

of years. Three,

four years maybe.

Yeah. That's a battle. That's a long battle.

HM. How did you

navigate the process of kind of like you

said forgiving yourself,

mhm, in the midst of it? I know there's a lot of people

that struggle with that. We all have regrets,

right? All of us got stuff. We

go, I wish I had a do over on that one. But

how did you navigate that process

of learning to

release yourself a little bit from it?

eventually I found a job, which was nice. and it

was a few months after she passed

and the night before had just been

struggling. I was still, like, volunteering with crew and

so, just there was various things

that reminded me of her.

And, was up, like, crying or whatever, and driving.

The next morning, woke up to go to work, driving to work, and

was just thinking about, and more or less, God

just reminded me of

Jesus. And so it was kind of like

this. I think I was driving,

and thinking about,

like, I deserve way

harsher punishment than what I'm like, why am I

alive and she isn't? I'm the

one that was not a good daughter. I'm the one

that didn't call her whatever.

and I'm trying to beat myself up

mentally. and

being like, I deserve a lot more than what

I'm getting. Like, this does not seem fair at all.

and it was just kind of like I don't know

how to fully explain it, but just

God, I feel, felt like God brought in

just the story of Christ

to my mind.

like, you don't need to take that

punishment because Jesus already

did. You know, like, all this stuff

that you did,

bad daughter, whatever, however you want to phrase it,

the punishment for that, christ took that on the

cross. So you don't need to

punish yourself. if you're being in

Christ, you don't need to because he's taking care.

Of it for you.

and I was just like, oh, yeah. That is the

message of the gospel. Right.

So how did that hit you emotionally in that moment?

What were you feeling in there at that

time?

it was like a burden had been lifted, for

sure, because,

I'm a visual imagery type person. And

so in my mind, as I'm going through

this, I'm thinking of and, I don't know what they're called,

but I think they're monks that would

like, that's what I was envisioning, like, trying to

do for myself, because I felt like that is what I

deserved. and

then it was

overlaid, with Jesus and him

getting those whips right.

And even God saying

what he endured was enough for you,

for everyone, for this situation,

and for the ones that you still haven't done yet.

so you don't have

to carry this burden.

Wow.

And so, literally, I was driving to work,

crying. By the time I got to work, I was, like,

on cloud nine.

Wow.

Just, like, singing to myself as I was doing

my work. just felt

like the truth of the gospel actually

really sunk deep that day.

Wow. For me, that's a really

real Poignant moment,

because it takes it from theory to

reality of M.

This isn't just something I kind of

believe, but this is

real.

Mhm.

That's significant.

Yeah.

So, I imagine that was one of those cases

where it's like, okay, this is why I still

follow Jesus, maybe. I don't know.

For you, it's like, oh, wow, he can actually

take this. I don't know if that's, putting your

words in your mouth on that one. But that's what

I sense as you're talking is

he frees me from having to experience

this all on my own.

Yeah. even with that,

he meets me wherever I

am. That's what I needed at that moment.

And

that timing was

perfect.

could it have happened before?

But,

in that moment, he

met, me with what I needed.

Yeah. That's so amazing.

So great. Mhm, have there been other times in your life

where you feel like he's met you where you needed where you

needed it?

I'm sure there has.

Yeah.

That's the one that I that's the.

One that stands out to you, though. That's the one that stands

out for sure. Yeah. It's beautiful.

Well, while we're on this topic, while I got you here,

and maybe we can muse for a couple

of minutes, because we

both have lived this life of

like we're experiencing stuff in our own life,

and yet we're trying to invest in a

new generation of people who's coming up, probably we want this

to be a space where some of those people could listen in

and go like, I know what these people

are talking to me right now. in

your observation of things right now,

as it stands, you work a lot with college students.

What do you see in this next generation

coming up that you see?

Man, people are really I don't think

people have an understanding right now of

what's really going on underneath the surface

of students lives right now. Mhm,

do you have anything that you say, oh, the outside

people don't get it. I get it

because I'm living it day in and day out, but I don't think people

understand that this is reality right now.

Anything?

Honestly, sometimes I don't know if I get it

every day, but it's

a whole different generation. Not

super removed, but still.

Yeah, I think

yeah, I'm not sure.

Yeah, I see the differences, obviously, between when I was

in college and then with the students that I engage

with, on a daily basis

here.

and yeah,

there's just a whole spectrum

of people.

I feel like one of the things that I've come to realize over the

years, I don't think people

necessarily understand the

severity of anxiety that people are

experiencing.

That's true.

Like, the level at which it is.

I think people go, oh, yeah, students

probably experience anxiety, that's fine. Or why don't they just suck

it up and live with it? Or whatever. But, at least a lot

of people that I come across,

it's intense. Mhm. And

I don't know that people have an understanding for that.

Yeah. Again, I'm not sure if I

do.

I try, actually. A fun fact, I'm speaking on

anxiety tonight. Oh, are you? not, like, deep. The

thing with our meetings is you can't really

get super deep. You only have like, 20 minutes less.

Than 20 minutes to

barely touch on such a deep topic. But,

yeah, it's true. Social anxiety.

Just anxiety.

Yeah, all those things, is is

big. yeah.

Paralyzing to a lot of students.

So what are you talking about? About anxiety tonight?

What are you going to share?

What am I sharing?

I think how

oftentimes our anxiety is connected to

identity or security. and

so it's not just

like, for example, and this

isn't like saying this is everybody, but, for

example, stressed about a test. Well, why are you

stressed? Okay. Because you want to do well. Why do you want to do well?

Because you pass, and then you get good grades,

and then you graduate so that you get a job, a good job,

paying job. And now you're successful. It's

like you're chasing this identity

of this successful person. Or maybe it's more

like you want people to see you as smart and good,

whatever it is. And so you have that.

And now you're stressing about this test because that leads to

that. And so, when you put that up,

it can lead to that. Or for example, like social anxiety

with friends, okay, how are people going to see me? We want

to have this image of a certain

kind of person portrayed.

And our actions kind of

lead, into that. And so you get anxious and

stressed out about every little thing

because we have this

identity or perceived identity that we kind of

put forth or want desire to put forth

that, feeds

into that.

Yeah. And in our society, we got to create our

own identity. So it doesn't come from

outside of you. You have to create it yourself.

So you think that's going to be a really freeing

thing. But in actuality, it's a ton of pressure.

It's a ton of pressure.

It's a ton of pressure. And if you

feel like you have to create your own identity,

my goodness gracious, day after day, no wonder

you feel like, yeah, you're right. No wonder

it's a big source of anxiety. for

sure. I

think that's really great. I was just talking with you beforehand that I

spoke at U of R, where you're going

to speaking tonight. I just spoke there last

week, just about Psalm 139

and the concept

of being fully known by

God, being fully loved by God, and God

being fully present in our lives. And

then if we believe those

things about God, if that's reality, then we

can pray the prayer at the end of Psalm 139.

That's okay, lord, now you can test me and know my anxious

thoughts, search me, discover is there anything going on

inside me that isn't according to what you would want and

lead me in your way. But if you don't believe that God

is good and

loves you completely, is with you at

all times, and, that you're fully

known by Him, then

you can't enter into that. But once

that's rooted, then you can anyway, I'm preaching a sermon

to you and you're sitting here anyway.

Well, that's great. Mercy. I'm just

so grateful for you, so grateful for your friendship

and, anything else you want the people to know

out there, anybody that's struggling, what would you say to

them? Like, maybe as a parting word,

somebody who's going like,

I don't know if this following Jesus thing is worth

it.

Mm hmm. M, I've definitely asked myself

that question.

and I think one of

the things,

just

I think I

think about I don't remember where in the Bible, says something along these

lines, but like, to fix our eyes on

Jesus, the author and perfecter of our

faith. and so

and show up

even when you don't

feel like it. even when you're like, god, I don't want to be here,

I don't want you.

But,

yeah. Showing up

to Him or with Him or whatever, however you want to

phrase that,

and letting him take care

of the rest.

I think that's really all you can do,

right? Because I'm, like,

is Paul and Jesus with it. Yeah,

maybe.

but I think it's one of those things that,

is best answered

with God in his

presence and,

focusing on Him. So it's like, don't

worry about that.

Just keep reading or keep

being faithful, whatever.

And trust that he's going to

do something. Because again,

I can't do anything by my heart. Not really. He's the

one that changes hearts. He's the one that draws me to

Himself. So

I got to go to him.

Such m wise words there.

Yeah. And it takes the pressure off, too. It's like,

I can't do this, god, if

you really want me to be following you,

you're going to have to do something.

And if he's really real and

what about Him is true, if what we read about Him is

true in the Bible, then he wants to do

that. So, I just love that vision of

God that he wants to meet us where we're at, and he

wants to be there in the midst of even our doubts,

because he wants to.

Be there with us in the middle of it.

Well, thanks for being here, Mercy.

Of course.

Appreciate talking with you, as always.