Family Gathering

They crawl out a week late. Lorne is waiting in the alley with bad news about the crystals — there is a soul in every one, and Talim's may be one of them. The Elmas lost Helma. The parade is days away. And upstairs at the tavern, a new job sits waiting: smuggle a wanted terrorist back into the city.

Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: Pathfinder Second Edition

Click here to watch a video of this episode.

What is Rotgoons - Narrative Declaration?

By the Narrative Declaration TTRPG group: Four adventures try to make it big within the decrepit streets of Outset's Pawn Pilaster. Catch this comedic but grim dark Pathfinder Second Edition TTRPG adventure and watch them all suffer!

this episode is a spoiler
some people came in who probably were like hey where's talim i didn't catch last episode
there are beasts all over the shop another gas can is that you
okay all right all right we lost our capitalist we have to become a communist party oh sorry
continue time yes cab isn't here to press the funny button it's time here it's time here my
little gooners don't say that don't say that shit out loud in front of my presence
anyway all right chat count us down oh
come on chat because i'm delaying because there's like one thing that's broken i've been trying to
fix it this entire fucking time no that's up you're counting up well we gotta start for 321
all right 320 319 you had one you had one job all right
all righty everyone are you ready for another exciting episode
boom the riot guns
i miss talim
you should put a little tombstone
oh my gosh i'll do that send me get me a tombstone image and then i will i will put it on there
okay hold on uh tombstone yes as as you do that as you do that welcome everyone back to raccoons
hope everyone's been having a fantastic time thanks for coming back to our pathfinder second edition
little homebrew campaign i am your host and game master today zorn the bear
and uh remember if you really like what we do here and stuff and uh you would like to support these
types of endeavors and these types of projects you can always head over to patreon.com forward slash
narrative declaration or watch us on youtube or here on twitch and everything all under narrative
declaration you get pdfs awesome things you can also do complications we roll natural ones
and live on twitch you can donate bits to help out the players and also ruin them well with our hero
points within villain point system which if you're in chat you can do exclamation point hero points in
the chat to figure out how that all works but of course we have amazing players here today and we're
missing one we're missing one due to previous episodes escapades so i have people in chat who
are like gray you're facing the wrong way and the funny way is i can't stand to look at the empty
space where where where talim once was oh right the truth of it the truth of it is uh we're using the
vtube studio collab function and my model usually faces this way and i can't flip it oh we do the
we do the flipping through the uh the the magic of uh yeah the flip the flipping feature is only for
the webcam oh i thought there was like a like you could click control shift or something and
try it on your end froggy as we because you know where it is and see if it works or not work
ah no it's not working i just try i just tried and i died speaking of dying i sent you the tombstone
thanks i'll uh
give me a second we're gonna we're gonna have this little guy on here
we're gonna pre-use clip art right there for you we're gonna get talim all set up but as as i'm
getting this set up uh why don't we go down the row and you guys introduce yourselves starting off with
minerva hello my name is minerva aka party demon s i'm a variety stream on twitch and full-time
content creator and i'm an artist and all a vtuber and i'm just a problem i'm just a problem
and you are more than welcome to be a problem in my neck of the woods
anyway talim's dead so cab's not next
uh hello good time zone i'm froggy lock i'm a professional artist a live duty rigger and a
variety streamer here on twitch but you can find me on all sorts of other social media platforms
uh under the social media handle of uh cabal and uh today i will be playing beatles above the level
five kobold investigator yes that's right you can find me on twitch.tv uh at forward slash cabal
yes we are all cabal we are all cabal
my name is snotty job or snotty snub as our dearly departed the partner used to say
uh you can find me uh everywhere as salty job i draw funny art uh which you guys at home that listen to
the podcast will never see um but um just dunk it on him i put i play heart the level five
mountain stance monk and now the sole frontliner of this party
it's like i don't know if we've even actually established like a frontliner i think it was uh
like i think it was just kind of like just talim just had a buckler which is pretty much meant
here's plus one ac and then it's all it's meant for like you don't want to block with that thing
the the right answer is that funnily enough uh due to being an entire martial team
the rot goons are all good in melee
we are all capable melee fighters speak for yourself you can still swing the funny sword
no but i have to ask i have to ask everybody uh a thing i like to do every so often i mean one's
new to the show is i like to ask the players they're basically the same they can recall what
happened last episode if they do remember which is which is a fun tool i like to do like i encourage
you to do at your table and encourage the player who actually sits down and takes notes and pays
attention and um and for our table that basically if they get most of the summary right uh i give them
like two hero points which they can use to re-roll d20s and stuff uh if they fail to roll or whatever
and sometimes it makes the rolls worse and so it's always a fun thing but if they horribly mess up
i get two villain points which means i get to i will increase my total of three which i'm capped right
now which are caps three uh of them so we don't get too busy with it uh i'll increase my cap if i need
to so don't mess up uh who would like to recap what happened last time i actually have a request
uh oh since uh i did the thing last time and due to it like being very eventful uh during the last
session i think that cab should do the recapping what but uh but since he's not here i mean i took
notes you just point out your dead friend casually like that like just damn i can't believe the the
narrator cabal is also dead don't mind that he's in chat
yeah we're all just gonna sit here in silence and look at the chat box
we're gonna watch chat for cab's recap he's gonna type it all up for us all right
yeah him and his little little dinky laptop they're just kind of struggling in his little
the worst podcasting episode so far we're gonna go oh yeah remember that silence oh yeah
there he goes it's the last time on ragoons but but seriously though so we could move on for time
uh who would like to yeah sure i got it okay i got it i haven't even i haven't even set from like
when we were doing the pre-game stuff wow there was the good goon song froggy talking about a
killing a backpack boy why would you gooter the sandwich the gooter why did you take notes on this
oh that got fan art by the way it sure did the sandwich do you think we can get a sponsor from
like firehouse or something i don't think any rightful human being would ever make a sandwich
called the gooner but now that we've made a sandwich we could get a sandwich sponsor except
our fans if you make the gooner at home please share i must have moated with my hands and i spilled
more vitamin water on my keyboard all right welcome to ragoons yeah welcome to ragoons what this is
what you're in for like i don't know why you're you're watching this episode in the middle of
everything but you know if you're new here hey this is this is what you're here for sorry okay
sorry good job froggy good job after what felt like pulling teeth the party was finally able to get
the final statue from lex to complete the puzzle we proceeded to fumble our way through comforting
the boy and it was a time the statue is finally placed and after a moment a huge sound is heard
deeper within the structure shaking the room nobody liked that the group decided to investigate
the sound by going through the way they came only to find the door locked heart decided to simply bust
down the door just to be greeted by a massive green eyeball and fleshy tendrils that had planted
themselves within the wall not long after we can hear some distant sobs of an unknown man
we decided it was uh better to keep the door shut and take our chances with the trauma room door
this was a mistake there's a clattering behind the door and moving of plates and distant laughter
gray would be the one to open the door and the scene before the group was that of the elmas
hollick and a kobold which they made a deal with in the past named gipik all surrounding a table
they're eating just having a grand old time the group was once again offered food but uh they
quickly declined as it was not quite on the level beetle decided he wasn't having any of these
shenanigans and shot what looked to be a suspicious suit of armor in the corner surprise the armor was
actually a creature and it was actually awful it had a withering man strapped to its shield that
would begin to scream upon the armor being damaged too many natural 20s and natural ones were rolled at
the worst times and a complication caused stray bolts and bullets to be shot back at the group
gray being shot with her own bolt in the arm and later a bullet landed in talim's back much his dismay
and froggy screaming um
eventually the knight would be defeated and the false hollick would clap and congratulate the group
the elmas would just continue to go go them on and mentioning brug or buck on accident uh being
absolutely done with everything heart flipped the table the elmas were crushed only for hollick to remain
uh the talisman decide to show up again and wrap itself around heart's wrist out of nowhere as is
its want and totally not hollick would proceed to taunt him with some cryptic shit there's a lot of
back and forth with hollick more cryptic bullshit and beetle tries to shoot him again but froggy rolls a one
and then the that's the bricks talim is shot again
heart shoves hollick into the stop it
heart shoves hollick in the fireplace he seems just to be able to walk out still burning by the way
he talks about a certain job needing to be done and how we need to be more about something about
they not explaining who they are how they are trying too hard and needing to be stopped
eventually with some more back and forth he puts a gem inside of the amulet and calls heart pathetic
beetle doesn't like this and just throws his whole goddamn gun at him
heart didn't cry he totally cried
uh the party takes some time to heal up uh they decide to go south and they see the door to the
south to see rug sobbing he simply says he ate her in his sobs and phases through the door further
south not walking through it he phased through it so they open the door and surprise there's another eye
don't like that selene pokes the eyeball and it goes and the door opens before them
the room is full of crystal corpses some fall on top apart after a complication it's awful
while they're trying to figure out where to go for go to from there uh all the corpses decide to
wake the fuck up and start to swarm to leem greek googly moogly it's all gone to shit
the group fights for their lives and it doesn't go well at all almost everyone gets grappled and the
party can't kill the crystal zombies fast enough as more rise up to fill their place among the chaos
beetle finds an exit through some roots of the plants but it's too late uh talim is overwhelmed
and downed and the stress of this made my tummy hurt i was not brave about it at one point heart
exploded into a massive scary wall of arms and hands and he tears down the wall that was also very scary
lex books it after doing literally nothing he's just been kind of there the whole time
beetle retrieves what's left of talim's shield and everyone decides to just book it from there
following beetle they go up to the stairs back to where from where they came from and they're
greeted by a tentacle hiding along the staircase it grabs a beetle for a second and kind of decides
yeah i'm good and it recedes to go up uh back up the stairs and so the group runs up up the stairs
and that is where we left off
you got the names everything that that deserves two hero points damn straight yay this is why i needed
help with uh with it last time when salty uh helped me because i'm not eloquent at all you're good
my eyes are itchy my eyes are just itchy like oh yeah i'm not crying
i was definitely not crying
my eyes are having it in here
it's allergies allergic to ghosts it'll go away soon because sleep's dead
i'm allergic to losing friends
well i'm glad that
we got everything to leave was shot again
not again
not again
but with all of that
it is true you guys last we caught you all you guys were running up the stairs after
encountering a tentacle you uh
you guys are pretty much fleeing for your lives and last that we've kind of
last off left off you notice that everything still around the walls and everything around you
is still feel filled with the horrible flesh and viny like appendages pretty much to the side of the walls
eyes and tentacles and tendrils seem to eventually cease from being part of the decor
as you continue to go upwards and upwards
uh
up into the staircase
as the further up you go as the further up you go
you start to see what you saw before
the room the hallway that you saw with all the various uh
stone images and things
still the same as they were before
uh
even the pawn's plaque still kind of cracked and messed up
and your solution to the puzzle still solved
you continue down the hallway
past some of the kind of embedded house
into it as well
come up the stairs running
and you find yourself back
at the ruined entrance
and what you see
and what you see before you
what you see before you use a cone of you start to hear a commotion
just
he's like he's over there
and as you come up
you see that there is an old man
uh
just basically kind of ducking and weaving a little bit
and just with a flurry of
flurry of some of his hands
and the staff that he's holding
you see that this fireball is just
whoosh whoosh whoosh
he's just
taking out several people
and uh
you see bam
bam
bam
several of them die
in front of you
you see that the
some of the tyrant's guild folks
are still around
it is night time when you come back up
and you recognize the old man
the one who sent you down here
mr lorne barnes
what the crap man
you see the old man kind of whip over to you
oh god you're still alive
and he kind of comes up to you all
one of us isn't
oh
oh sorry i'm trying to
for some reason your token
isn't showing
yeah i noticed that
rocky isn't visible
it's like your token
disappeared
hold up
i'm gonna delete you from existence
and uh
yeah kill me
there you go
hey i'm back
you should be back
woo
uh you'll see that lorne will come up to you
while he's going
he'll be gone
he'll be gone for daily
an entire week
a week
some warning
about what we were getting into
would've been nice
beetle
like warning
yeah
beetle
what
i said a week
how long do you think we were down
it didn't feel like a week
beetle has like that
you know the
do do do do do
and there's like a still frame
so he just like looks off into the middle space
and he's holding to leave shield
and he just
zones for a quick beat
and then he comes back
and he's like
i didn't even eat once
i don't even feel hungry
there's something down there
lots of something
you see lorne kind of looking left and right
you see his bedraggle
obviously the the old man's been exerting effort here
and you see that the campsite and stuff like
i didn't edit the map
map any but like the camp would have been more developed
but it seems that
lorne here is taking care of any obstacles
that you guys would have encountered coming back up
and he goes
i was like
i was like
tell us
tell me all about it back and i was
come
come with me
and uh
he will
motion you guys over
and he's like
we have to get out of here
as quick as we can
the tyrants killed
know something very wrong here
let's go
and so lorne will
lead you all away
through the various alleys
of the pond's pilaster inside of the city of outset
let me get you guys to the map
that wasn't a drum roll
that's the sound of our feet
yeah
your little pitter patters
so as you guys are returning back to the pond's pilaster
you're now journeying with lorne
he's he's kind of going through various alleyways
and he kind of puts his finger up to his lips
and waiting for a patrol of tyrants guild
uh guards coming by
you see some of the militia
or practically the army
here and outside of undead creatures
going by with glaives
and glaives shields
and sort of a surcoat outfit
as he kind of motions everyone to wait
for a moment
he's like
we're waiting for this whole patrol of the past
but
it's like
what took you all so long
it's nearly a week has passed
we thought you all dead
I came to investigate
to make sure
you know
to see if you perished or not
and everyone at Alma's
has been worried about you all
hard pokes beetle
like
beetle
the papers
about the thing
about what they did there
the
yeah
the ledger
the thing with the crystals
all right
and then
so beetle
tucks into his
fanny pack
and he pulls out
the experiment notes
the prison ledger
which contains records
from 20 years ago
and also
the map
he takes it all out
and holds it up to Lorne
he's like
Lorne will
we'll take the papers
and start perusing
and you'll just hear him
just old man
bumble at it
yeah
so those
those ones
not those ones
these ones
yeah
look at those ones
those are related
directly to all the bullshit
that was happening
outside
and then
that's a map
of the inside
of the
the little hole
the
the
the
the temple hole
thing
and then
those over there
we found those
inside of the hole
there was like a whole
prison complex
and stuff
under like
this big
fancy chamber
which is kind of weird
we encountered
creatures
that
looked like
they were feeding
off of
magic
Talim is gone
they could eat
a ghost
they ate Talim
they ate Talim
Peter looks at the shield
in his hands
Lorne will
Lorne will look at the
the shield
and all of you
and we'll go
Hatch
tell me
describe
the creature
that you saw
that was feeding
on
on a what
not alive
full of
gems
especially
their backs
lots of gems
and the gems
would like
pulse
in response
to magic
and there
there were these
trees
that were not
trees
but they
they bit into them
and it seemed
to do something
to them
it looked more like
flesh than plant
it looked like
a flesh plant
it looked like
like veins
something
for the creature
oh
and he kind
of peruses
the documents
a little bit
more
and he's like
the crystals
pulsate
on them
on these creatures
you saw
yeah
they could have
been
discarded bodies
from these
experiments
that were being
done
I don't
know
Master Lorne
the wrath
was potent
within that dungeon
there was
there were
beings
and rooms
that existed
from out of
time itself
see Lorne will
he's stroking
his
he's stroking
his beard
as he's taking
all of this in
and go
I'm gonna have
to research
a little bit
more
but
whatever you
do
if you find
any more
of these
crystal like
creatures
you have
to tell me
because
if my
suspicions
are correct
they're definitely
not from
here and
outset
but I need
I need to
confirm
I need to
confirm
more
and he will
he'll kind of
take the piece
of paper
take out his
own little
quilt
and he's
just making
notes
you see him
just rapidly
scribbling
on one of the
stone walls
and he'll
look over
to you
and go
please check
to see if
the patrol
is gone
yet
and if
anyone
notices
like he
just sees
a bunch
of complicated
things being
written on
the scroll
and you see
that he's
like oh
shit
about
what you
just told
him
so
Grail
go and
keep a
lookout
see if
everything's
kosher
Roll me a
perception check
even though
Lorne is
like
very focused
Beetle
doesn't care
Beetle keeps
talking
he's a little
fucking
gooner
I rolled an
18 for a
total 27
let's go
Beetle says
not from the
Ponce Blaster
I said
you think
we went
somewhere
or could
they just
be from
under
the Ponce
Blaster
you know
like
under
if
this city
goes deep
does it
not
yeah
it goes
deep
you don't
think we
went somewhere
else right
that's not
like a
weird
paradox
going on
in that
hole
over there
with your
roll of a
27 gray
you do
notice that
the patrol
has passed
you see a
really good
avenue
the
get past
everything
now
hey
we can
probably
finish this
talk at
the
Elmas
we're
clear
we'll
just
we'll
talk
more
down
much
let's
go
and
then
you'll
see
Lauren
will
just
quickly
roll up
the
piece
of
paper
that
you
gave
him
and
he
will
lead
you
all
through
and
it
takes
you
a while
to
get
back
you
guys
are
more
than
likely
exhausted
from
obviously
dealing
with the
things
you
have
just
dealt
with
and
traveling
through
the
city
and
all
the
winding
paths
and
stuff
of the
ponds
bolaster
and
as
you
guys
are
led
back
to
Lauren
you
arrive
back
to
Elma's
when
it
turns
to
day
and
as
he
arrives
through
and
stuff
with
you
all
I'm
going
let's
rest
now
collect
our
thoughts
and
we'll
discuss
everything
that you
found
down
there
in
the
morning
well
pretty much
later on
in the
day
it's
morning
now
he
looks
up
he
just
looks
dead
at
the
sun
going
I
forgot
what
the
voice
of
the
sky
said
for
a
second
whoops
each
morning
when we
wake up
exactly
gamer
moment
and
he'll
lead you
all
through
the
lead you
all
through
the
illness
and while
you were
away
I
believe
I
believe
Elma
one of the
Elmas
are
I think
it's
Helga
Helga
Helga
Thelma
Thelma
Thelma
wants to
speak
with you
all right
time to grieve
will happen
later
fairly a
messenger
came in
last night
for you
all
messenger
yeah
that's why
I came out
to go
find you
all
we were
all worried
on it
and that
was kind
of the
straw
that broke
the
shabble's
back
so
we must
go speak
with him
are
the
tyrants
still
recruiting
they're
very
active
out
there
let's
say
that
something
tipped
them
off
that
something
was
happening
in
that
ruin
okay
let's
go
with
chide
yeah
yeah
grail
grail
start
slowly
padding
towards
the
door
she's
she's
tired
she wants
a nap
you open
the door
and you
see
you see
Thelma
sitting there
shut the
door back
she's doing
the interface
stands there
opening and
closing the
door
as you
enter inside
you'll see
that
Thelma
will greet
you
oh god
you're
alive
oh thank
goodness
and you'll see
that Thelma
will come over
and in a
surprising show
of affection
will
immediately
start
patting
beetle
and everything
like a
kindly
old
grandma
oh
good
oh thank
god
oh thank
goodness
I think the
kings
are alive
beetle's tail
wags
when he's
pet
like a
dog
good
dog
we are
missing
someone
but we
are
mostly
in one
piece
one of
us
didn't
make it
he got
eaten
and beetle
turns and he's still
holding the
shield but he's
holding it
horizontal like a
plate
is it
slowly like
coming back
into becoming
a very
material object
instead of
being ghosted
yeah it's
it's fading
no
you see the
the ghostly
you know
touch of
Thelma
is basically
just fading
off the
shield a
little bit
no
you see
that uh
the mama
Thelma
will
will
will take
hold of
the shield
and um
and she's
and she
kind of
she'll take
it up
and goes
we'll hang
it up
okay
it was a
good capitalist
if I ever
saw one
the best
and you
see
she will
she'll head
over here
and like to
the back
of the bar
here she'll
like hang
it up
you know
and
beetle
pulls out
his tongue
and wipes
his eyes
with it
he licks
up his
tears
with his
tongue
gray will
slowly go
over towards
the uh
the bar
and just
kind of
plop
and collapse
into his
seat
yeah
could I
please
help me
what's that
dearie
and she's
she's getting
tankards
already for
you all
like she
gets
she gets
four
and then
kind of
stops for
a moment
and puts
one away
and gets
three
and then
she will
come up
to the bar
and she'll
come up
to the bar
and um
you know
a certain
feeling you guys
would just like
like just
basically
just some beer
or whatever
just something
light you don't
need anything
heavy
and uh
she'll just
slide it over
as you're
addressing her
and she'll
say what can
I get you
sweetheart
could you
help me
with a
thing
what's
that dear
um
heart is
still like
shipped
and torn
and still
like
bleeding
ichor
everywhere
uh
could you
get me
something
to clear
my stomach
I'm a bit
I'm built
different
and I don't
know how
to
to get
that out
and mr
and mr
barnes
over there
he seems
to know
what is
going on
I would
like to
give him
some
some
some
stuff
and I
have that
stuff
and he
points down
at his
stomach
in here
beetle
climbs up
onto a
stool
and like
leans
to look
around
gray
just kind
of
staring
at the
side
of
heart's
head
like
what the
fuck
is
brother
waffling
about
I ate
some
guys
and I
would
like
to
show
mr
lorne
barnes
some
of
the
guys
she's
like
all right
here
you go
it's like
it's a little
bit cold
but the
soup's
still good
you know
we're still
prepping
everything
in the
morning
and she'll
slide over
some soup
to you
but that'll
fix it
right up
it's
hell of a
special
no no
I want
it
out
in
like
you know
no but
like
no but
like
intact
so he
can look
at it
why is it
solid
it's more
like
a rock
but you
know
then I'll
patch this
fine
here you
go
this is
where we
serve the
customers who
are just
a bit
testy
heart
takes the
soup
and walks
over to
beetle and
goes hey
beetle do you
think you can
cut it out
yeah buddy but
if I do I
don't know that
you're gonna
want to eat
that
okay
yeah
you might
you two if you
do that you
might want to do
that not in
the main space
you will do it
outside right
out the front
door but
we'll do it
fast
it won't
affect clientele
it won't affect
customers
hold on and
beetle will down
his drink and
like like
revel in it like
he's in a coke
commercial not
sponsored and
then he'll put
the mug down
yeah and he'll
he'll turn around
it'll jump off and
start digging through
his fanny pack for
his surgical tools
which are all loose
in there none of
them are safely
secured
beetle
yeah
heart points
down at the
shield that beetle
is still carrying
around
no it's on the
wall right now
oh yeah yeah
yeah you gave it
beetle do you
you want to do
this now
you don't want
to
don't rest for a
bit
do you uh
uh
I saw you grow
a couple extra
appendages there
and you know
that's nothing to
be ashamed of
you know
everybody's body
is different okay
yeah yeah I'm
still I'm still
growing so yeah
uh
okay I don't know
what you mean by
that and I'm very
tired I'm very
tired so I'm
gonna look past
it and we're
gonna pretend you
didn't even say
that okay
um what I was
gonna say is uh
and beetle starts
rubbing one eye
he doesn't close
his eyelids and
all he just
starts like rubbing
his eye
his hand directly
a string of mucus
attached to his
hand when he
yeah exactly
yeah
he's like
do you um
you digest
food right
do you digest
food
I think it
turns into
charcoal
okay we're
gonna do it
right now
just come on
just come on
we'll be right
back
okay
shut the door
yourself
Mr. Barnes
uh
a beautiful
take heart
outside
when heart
when heart
when heart
leaves the
presence of
an older
of like two
elders
he starts
like
when beetle
sees him do
that he just
breaks out
he starts
fucking crying
they're both
just standing
there outside
bawling their
dumb eyes
out
he's gone
beetle
he's fucking
gone
and he punches
the wall
I didn't think
he was ever
gonna leave
you know
before he
before he
went to the
farm upstate
he was talking
about how he
was gonna leave
but I knew
it I was
right there
with you
there's no way
he was gonna
leave
he was already
dead
why would he
die again
why would he
die again
I don't even
eat a ghost
I don't even
eat a ghost
fucked up
it's stupid
stupid makes
no sense
beetle kicks
the wall
find beetle
and he kicks
the same place
where beetle
kicked the
wall
now there's
a hole
yeah there's
a foot
shaped
hole
okay okay
let's uh
is this gonna
god I don't
even do I
do I even
use a numbing
agent of any
kind do you
just want me to
just get in
there and then
pack it all
back in
I'm tough
like the clay
I'm tough
you know more
about my body
than I do
to understand
what you're
trying to do
you're trying
to basically
grab the
part of the
stuff that
uh heart
ate last
combat
encounter
with your
tools
roll me a
crafting check
beetle
absolutely
yeah
beetle will
have heart
just blank
but you know
flipped plank
like on his
back
not medical
checks
well
oh yeah
do I do
crafting or
medicine
you're clay
right
you're clay
crafting
I'll do
crafting
all out
medicine
all out
medicine
but I
wanted
crafting
but crafting
is one
point
higher
all right
so that's
a 12
for a total
of 22
skillfully
you extract
the object
yeah
it'll
cut
hard
open
it's like
cutting
through
some
hard
clay
it's kind
of weird
little dusty
outside
to the
elements
yeah
yeah
to the
elements
don't worry
about it
it's fine
gross
black goo
splurging
everywhere
Beetle just
kind of
scrungles
and tugs
body parts
out of
Hart's
stomach
black
weird
viscous
organs
that make
no sense
Beetle waves
to like a
little old
lady passing
by
on the other
side of the
bridge
she's like
oh hey
nothing
going on
here
and he
goes back
to the
surgery
and
Beetle just
moves his
hand around
and be like
what
no organs
once that's
done
Beetle will
lick and spit
on Hart's
clay
to wet it
again
and pack it
back into
place
yeah
this is just
the
surgery
simulator
rock
goons
DLC
get some
get some
spackle on
there
yeah
exactly
does some
caulking
all right
uh
Beetle gets
up and
he holds
out a
hand like
to help
Hart
stand up
thanks
buddy
and he
um
and he
grabs
Beetle's
hand
and then
he
he starts
bending
himself
upward
by shoving
his feet
into the
ground
and then
he's
bending
himself
upward
that's
horrific
thanks
all right
buddy
uh
uh
they're
kind of
gooey
but here
you go
i got
uh
i got
a foot
here for
you
you want
to take
that
the toenails
are all
crystals
which is
pretty neat
i got
a i got
a fragment
of a
sternum
here
uh
some
crystals
on that
i got
a jaw
yeah
yeah
yeah
jaw
that's
great
yeah
here you
go
there's
a jaw
for you
and here
is an
entire
arm
especially
the pinky
though
so that's
that sucks
a little
bit
but here
you go
damn
i swallowed
the entire
arm
like that
yeah
buddy
yeah
is that
impressive
or is it
like bad
no that's
pretty impressive
ah it's
bad good
it's bad good
that's like
that's bad
yeah
badass
yeah
that's great
yeah
that means
that maybe
mr
mr lorn barnes
might
might figure
out what
these are
yeah
you take
those to him
and we can
talk another
time about
uh
you growing
up
yeah
that's weird
yeah
no i
grow up
i grow
an inch
like
pretty often
what
yeah
what
what
yeah
hey
but i was
but i was updating
my secret medical
files that i keep
on you guys
and just the
other night
i was measuring
you and you
were the same
as you guys
are talking
the entire time
the door
opens and go
which one of you
goons kicked
my fucking
building
points of
beetle
beetle
looks at the
hole in the
wall
and looks
back
he's like
yeah that
was me
sorry
get the
fuck in
here
beetle
drops his
head and
drags his
tail
i know
you're
french
damn
that's no
excuse to
be damaging
my establishment
i'm sorry
ma'am
i'm sorry
ma'am
i expect
you to
fix it
before
you know
at some
point
or you'd be
paying for
it
right away
ma'am
but before
then and
then hart
just holds
out like
a sack
because i have
a bunch of
sacks
i have a bunch
of pouches
because i'm
the carry load
i am
the pack
mule
and he
just holds
out a sack
that is dripping
viscous
black goop
full of
body parts
over to
mr lorne
barnes
and he
goes
here you
go
mister
those are
the bits
zeal
lorne will
take and
go
ah
thanks
did you
thank beetle
no you
really don't
need to
that's
unnecessary
hey can i
have another
drink please
yeah
yeah
sure
my stomach's
pretty empty
now
i would like
to say
that while
they were
they were
out there
doing the
the extraction
gray has
gone through
like two
more drinks
she looks
like a
mess
she is
a mess
she'll
basically
the samurai
is lorne
lorne will
thank you for
giving the
stuff and
he'll say
that he'll
he's gonna
investigate this
so just
just go get
some rest
go go
sleep
and uh
he'll tell
you what he
finds through
his research
and uh
and and
thelma will
get you guys
all set up
with your rooms
and and
everything else
and send you
off for the
night again
send you off
with some
food and
some drink
that kind
of gets
you guys
settled
and uh
how long
do you sit
awake and
drink and
talk about
thaleem
yeah
yes
yeah
yeah
yeah
so do we
even fall
asleep in
our rooms
or do we
like fall
asleep on
chairs
no we
have a slumber
party in one
of the rooms
and we just
fall asleep
in a pile
yeah
okay
i'll go to
heart's room
we assume that
heart's room will
be a little
bigger than ours
and we get
there and it's
not and
it's actually
the smallest
it's actually
the smallest
and when
heart sleeps
on the bed
his knees
are bent
over like
the bottom
of the bed
like cabal
cabal and
chat says
is it a room
with four beds
like yeah
you could
shove one of
the spare beds
you now have
in so
heart can
none of us
even mention
lex
oh yeah
we didn't even
notice the
lex
we are just
crying
and talking
about thaleem
just didn't
follow you
up
you thought
he was
right behind
you guys
what a little
brat
what a little
dick
anyway
to him
yeah
that's the
entire night
just like the
comment section
and then
people will wake
up and like
crack a noon
next day
okay so this is
what we're going
to do
everything else
you'll see that
as you guys
wake up in the
morning
see that tug
initiative
yeah roll
initiative
I'm going to
not again
I'll see you
guys be able to
have any
moments you
want
oh god
it's loud
we'll just
switch over to a
little bit more
chaunture music
you wake up in
the morning
or you probably
wake up pretty much
later in the day
it's definitely
much later
in the night
you see the
notice you didn't
really hear anything
no matter how much
you stayed up
throughout your
very long night
into the morning
that not a lot
of customers came
through
not a lot of
customers came
through the thing
and with your
rest and everything
else go ahead and
fill yourselves up
the full if you
have a wounded
condition feel free
to get rid of
it and you
and if you do
suffer any
nightmares they're
your own and
you know with
memories and
everything that you
have you still
you haven't seen
helma around
the place yet
and you know
lorne has been
still stuck inside
of his uh
his his deluxe
suite area
um the second
story of the
tavern and uh
you all kind of
come back down
to the bar
itself and you
see that
thelma is still
there and uh
as you guys
come down
you see thelma
will ask you
all they
well you all
sleep all right
he just like
bangs on you
guys
i sure did
lose consciousness
at some point
yeah this gets
you right up
and she'll
she'll send
over a tinkered
uh which is
kind of like
uh kind of
black like
like some kind
of black liquid
inside of it
like this will
take you up
just fine
but um
you know but
there was a
message for you
by the way
all right
yeah for all
of you
mention that
there was a
messenger who
came in by
a bizzlebub
some guy in
the solitude
basically and
for those who
uh yeah so
they in the
solitude pretty
much pass out
sets walls
and uh
apparently they
got a they
got a job
for you
oh also
lorne left
his payment
for you all
it's uh
it's 400
gold but
i guess you
can split the
difference as
she slides over
the the money
bag
thank you
beetle's lips
start quivering
again
gray just like
lifts her
lifts her
pod she just
like plops it
on beetle's
head just
i know
tally was
the one that
used to
count our
pay
it's like
it divided
to be like
133 gold
each so add
133 gold
to each of
your inventories
okay
beetle count
it and split
it up fair
tally wouldn't
have split it
up fair
tally would've
taken his
cut for
counting
he did it
for himself
miss him
so
yeah
so as you all
sit there
um
tell me
yeah you got
a job to try
to smuggle
someone in
smuggle
into what
smuggling
like tally
would've done
i will do
it
heart stands
up and slams
the bar
i will do
it for him
it's a weird
way to remember
the guy but
i'm with heart
the slam just
like jars
gray away
she's just
like
her fur is
all poofed
up
yeah basically
you're smuggling
an individual
named bodrick
now don't be
saying his name
around here
here on
outset he's
uh kind
of a known
terrorist of
the area
he leads to
the tyrant's
guild but
we're all
fans of him
and he keeps
the tyrant's
guild in
check but
uh that's
your job
apparently he's
trying to get
back into the
city and he's
waiting for you
all pretty much
outside of one
of the camps
of the solitude
but uh
what was that
about terrorism
don't worry
about it
anyway
basically
basically he's
having trouble
getting back
inside the
city
the tyrant's
going to have
upped up
security lately
you know with
the dead
official and
everything else
around
they're looking
around for
someone
oh yeah
that's
so so
fortunately
you know he
needs help
help getting
in and the
prize for this
one's gonna be
a 500 gold
job and
also she
kind of leans
in we want
some of his
recipes
it could be
really helpful
for the parade
which is not
that long away
oh god we
lost so much
time
oh yeah
it's okay
i'm so sorry
ma'am
hollock's been
doing a great
job around here
he's been brewing
up a bunch
of potions
and things
getting all
this tough
you folks
been getting
together
and he's
been out
back getting
the car
ready
we never
we never
got the
blacksmith
he's like
i think it's
a bit too
late for that
we'd have to
make do
of what we
got but
looking at
you all
she kind of
looks around
you all
i hope you
know how
to sell
well
Talim knew
how to sell
beetle's
crying
it's like
a hideous
stitch
crying
we can do
it for him
we can do
it in his
in his honor
we can do
it for him
again we
would like to
apologize for
the week we
went missing
uh some
something is
going on down
there and we
thought we were
only down there
for a few
hours at most
longest hours
of her life
there's like
she she looks
around she sees
that vena's just
taking care of
tables and
stuff and you
guys are the
elements in
here is like
what exactly
happened down
there
you don't want
to know
okay so first
as you start
as you start
explaining
um
you hear
something outside
oh no
you hear a
lot of
commotion
outside just
a lot of
a lot of
footsteps
just a
metric
it is a ton
of pitter
patters
just a bunch
of all you're
hearing is like
little foots
just going
the entire
time and
you see if
you look out
the window
a ton of
kobolds
coming in
crazy ears
just perk up
and she's
like what
the fuck
and she
turns around
and you see
and you see
over 20
kobolds are
on their way
to the
establishment
beetle's eyes
buggy's like
oh no
you see
thalma
kind of look
over there
and just
sigh
look over
the vena
going
we gotta
rush
vena
and you see
the little
mouse waitress
go
she starts
freaking out
a little bit
and getting
super nervous
and um
she immediately
like kind of
like rushes
to like a
position
basically to get
ready to serve
them all
and as
the doors
she's mentally
prepping herself
as the doors
open
you see
a swarm
basically
coming in
i can't believe
you brought
my backup
characters
i can't believe
all my
backup
characters
in case
beetle dies
you brought
my entire
horde of them
is this how
you get rid
of them
what are you
planning to do
with my
backups
and you see
and you see
one kobold
who's kind of
like in a
um
has pink scales
holding a really
really big book
probably to keep
track of all
the damn kobolds
and uh
she looks
she looks at
uh
she looks like
okay everyone
everyone needs
to get to a
table
i don't need
anyone messing
around
all right
we're here to
eat
dine
and be
respectful
all right
come on
girls
coming up
let's go
mama ain't
taking no
shit from
anybody right
now
she looks over
to you
is that my
little boy
is that my
little boy
who ever
called his
mother
for no
reason at
all
and you see
that the
the kobold
i am feeling
very seen
right now
you see this
kobold
come straight up
to you
beetle
go
why have you
contacted me
in any way
shape
before
it's only
been a week
it's only
been a week
mama
my accent's
been changing
ever since i
got cursed
by that
cursed witch
because of
you
say again
my australian
mother
what did she
just say
about how much
cursed you
she has the
shifting accent
curse
we were
in a hole
for a week
wow
wow
we were
doing
work
oh
but here
and beetle
will take
out the
oh god
did we get
135 gold
33 i think
beetle takes
all of that
out that they
just got
and puts it
in his mother
hands
mother's hands
she takes
all that money
going
well you know
well you know
doodlebug's been
doing a lot of
good work too
i mean you
couldn't be making
more money
than doodlebug
over here
with a
willigig
even though
how shy
she is
she's been
doing you
know making
200 gold
a month
and this is
all you got
to share
for it
you know
mama's mortgage
needs more
moolah
sweetheart
this is my mom
antsy dancy
and my sister's
scaraboo
firefly
send a pup
lady buglin
crookety
wriggler
that's flea footy
back there
that's grub
grin
that's moth
dusty
pill buglin
is over there
rochi is still
outside she's
trying to get
through the door
right there
that's her
your skirt
is caught
that's june
gum
that's butter
please
that's doodlebug
that's snore
in the kobold
she really likes
board games
and uh
that's pitter
patter
that's snail
shell
that's whirligig
termitee
that's salty
grub
that's kabug
and that's
minerval
oh and that's
pupa right there
sorry pupa
i didn't see you
and beetle
waves down
at this egg
with a hat
on it
and two
kobold legs
smashed through
the bottom
of the egg
so it's just
it's just an egg
with little eye holes
carved out of it
and little hat
on the top
of the egg
and little feet
sticking out
the egg
looks at you
all evilly
she's gonna
be a lawyer
oh i can see it
it's got the
look in her eyes
yeah these are
my sisters
hello ma'am
your son
is a very
very
honorable
and noble
individual
he's a goddamn
good shot
knows how to
stitch up a wound
beetle's chest
grew three sizes
that day
we
he
he has saved
us
multiple times
sorry i'm dragging
all the family
members
you did this
you didn't have
to do this
i can't see it
because the camera
is still down
a little bit
but if you pan
up it looks
like hell
we have
we have a camera
mod to kind of
keep it focused
on you guys
but i'll try
to for some
reason my
my thing won't
there it goes
it kind of
pans
it's the worst
fucking thing
i've ever seen
it's uh
it's a lot
of family
right now
it's a
it's a lot
of family
you know
they're
basically all
of these kobolds
as you've
introduced
every single
one of them
they all
kind of
come in
you know
they all
just kind
of introduce
themselves
when they
come through
they're all
practically
wearing the
same thing
um
i'll try
to
for some
reason
i didn't
even prep
this
there's the
whole family
picture that
you have
and uh
i need to
find where
you put it
can you send
it to me
real quick
like the
png i'll put
it up on
stream
rabbit
but um
basically a
whole family
line of
kobolds
come in
and they're
like
and they're
all just
coming through
and uh
filling up
like every
seat
and those
who can't
quite fit
into a
thing
or there's
like a
spare
area
somewhere
they just
either sit
on the floor
or just
kind of
chill out
and they're
like
you know
they're all
just trying
to get
themselves
situated
and veena
is having
a panic
attack
here's the
picture of
them all
i sent it
to your dms
thank you
i will try
to veena
is standing
in the
corner
doing this
sponge gar
pose
here this
is just
for just
for stream
this is what
it looks
like the
entire
family
there's
the i
love them
so much
so for
podcast viewers
to describe
them
think of
kind of
like a
cyan blue
type of
cobalt
with the
cute little
rosy cheeks
and all
wearing like
the madeline
kind of
outfit
is that right
like the
little
like the
hat
and a
little
little
petticoat
dress
and stuff
all have
little
satchels
there's
one
holding a
little
zoran
doll
there's
another
one
who's
just
the
egg
and of
course
there's
there's
antsy
there
i want
everyone
who is
listening
to this
to note
that these
look like
normal
kobolds
and nothing
like
except for
the color
scheme
they got
some
resemblance
hey
but as
they're
like
well you're
gonna
help feed
everybody
huh
come on
beetle
how about
you sisters
we came
here to
you work
here right
no we are
also patrons
yeah
Thelma
looks at
you all
going
you work
here
oh
okay
i'll get
into the
kitchen
okay
okay
start cooking
up some
crap
vena will
send your
orders
okay
greatest
slumps
off of
her seat
she's just
like
okay
i'll
cop and
see you
as you
guys leave
to the
kitchen
but not
overtime
as you
guys
now feel
free to
move your
tokens in
and uh
and as
you all
kind of
walk in
it's uh
obviously it's
has its
uses and
stuff but
uh
you get
and you
you get
kind of
a bit
of a
flashback
that
talim used
to use
these
knives
to help
you out
that one
time on
the tavern
talim worked
at this
stove
really helped
you out
there
talim made
this type
of dish
before
last time
talim interrogated
a guard
in that
corner
exactly
beetle do you
want me to
move you
or
oh sorry
i heard
beetle you're
gonna take
the orders
i didn't
follow
no no i
said veena
my bad
oh i
misheard
now you
can definitely
help if you
want but of
course none of
you guys are
in here
no no i'm
in here
you see
we're not
gonna do a
whole tavern
thing again
i thought that
was where you
were going
i was like
i hate you
so much
we're not
gonna do a
whole tavern
round again
but
one quick
thing
am i still
wounded
no you're
completely healed
up
nice
thank you
because when
you full rest
and stuff
and everything
someone beat
a more likely
first aid on
you through
the night
so you're
good to go
um
drunken beetle
patching him
up
so as you
guys are
working here
i am gonna
ask you guys
to do several
crafting checks
though
oh yeah
making foods
and stuff
love that
love that
veena will
come through
and go
uh beetle
what's
what's uh
so we have
all the
kobolds named
all the
kobolds named
what is
moth
dusty's
favorite dish
uh
chicken nuggets
no fries
only chicken nuggets
heart
heart
one case
of dugs
please
whatever the
fuck that
is
looks down
at beetle
heart
puts on
an apron
and
and looks
down at beetle
and goes
you'll have to
guide me
but i can do
the cooking
i know what
she means
okay so she
wants chicken
but specifically
coated in bread
and fried in oil
cooked in oil
yeah
heart starts to assemble
things
don't think about
getting creative
don't think about
like it's more
delicious when
you know the chicken
has spices and stuff
right but she's
adverse to flavor
i hate her
i don't
i love her
she's my sister
it's more of a
texture thing
yeah she's got
a bad opinion
on her nugs
but anyway
so those are
nugs
you're gonna
want those
no spice
don't think
about getting
creative
don't think
about making
it delicious
just make
it generic
and that's
what she likes
also no sides
no sides
no sides
no sides
at all
he looks back
like confused
you can see
even though
his hair
covers his eyes
children are
very picky
over the weirdest
things
just go with
that
oh that's the worst
part she's a
grown-ass woman
now
it's bullshit
okay so with all
that uh heart roll
me a crafting check
can i roll lore
cooking instead
you sure can
nice i have a
plus one on all
of my uh on my
crafting checks for
cooking since i am
built for this
shit uh you are
the oven
yes that's a
four on the die
i will spend
my hero point
to reroll that
uh since this
is heart's
second greatest
thing that he
can do
that's a nat
20 baby
yeah
so heart
not only
creates chicken
nuggets
he creates
the chicken
nugget
like he makes
it so mundane
in that
when when he
first makes it
he makes like
oh sharp pieces
of chicken
and beetle
points out
like
dude that's
whole pieces
of chicken
it's gonna
be worse
so he he
you know he
shops them
into more
or less
chicken mash
and breads
them and
fries them
and they're
like the
perfect nug
the holy
nug
most basic
yeah it's
it's exactly
a mcdonald's
chicken nugget
when he holds
up
yeah yeah
yeah and he
he just pulls
them out with
his hands
because he has
fire resistance
heart's cooking
tools are his
hands but it
cleans them
very often
i just got
handed a mcflurry
let's go oh
no this is a
blizzard let's
go
oh let's
go
heck yeah
i got on
blizzard
pulls out a
bowl underneath
heart's hand so
we can just dump
all the greasy
chicken nuggets
in there
yeah he the
nuggets are
heart-shaped
oh she's gonna
lose her mind
you're gonna hear
it it's gonna be
supersonic
heck yeah i don't
speak i don't
speak mc but
tell her that
that it's all
good
all right you
see vena uh
will come in
i would like
gray
brr
like she
she points
she points
like please
please give
him the
nuggets
it's a thing
and she'll
look to you
beetle going
like do you
know uh
she looks down
and let's see
which one i want
to pick
uh do you
know who's
uh fire fleas
uh favorite food
is an answer
for that gray
go find moth
dusty
oh my
oh no
okay
yeah beetle
sorry it feels
like are you
sure you know
okay here you
go gray
and he passes
the bowl
off to gray
beetle what
what what
what does she
smell like
what is she
what
what does she
smell like
i don't remember
what my sister
smells like
what's wrong
with you
i need to
know
that's disgusting
you think i
saw you
beetle what does
she work with
uh uh uh
nothing really
she doesn't she
doesn't have a
job
she's like
doesn't have a
job because
she's super
spacey and never
stops daydreaming
okay great i have
to go sniff out
despondency cool
yeah just look for
lack of motivation
productivity and
total despondency
seek the smell of
disappointment
gray is going to
use every fiber in
her body to try and
figure out which one
of these kobolds is
food dusty
smells out
smells out for
lack of a job
looks for the
most unemployed
looking kobold
what will i fucking
roll for this
there are going to be
people called out and
really mad right
now
you gotta
channel talim
and find the
poorest kobold
as a behind the
scenes game master
thing just to point
out before we roll
i put talim's token
in and hit him to
see if i can get
vision on the scene
a little bit better
because when you guys
go in it cuts off
the vision so i'm
literally using the
ghost of the ghost
of talim they're
trying to get vision
for the chat but it
didn't work so he's
actually dead anyway
so so um so
wherever you come up
i would like you to
roll me a perception
check you to come
here all the kobolds
expectedly like in the
restaurant all look to
you thinking you have
their food i'm
re-rolling that i'm
re-rolling that that
is a two for a total
of eleven i'm re-rolling
that using your
point it's the worst
thing i've ever seen
oh my god that's a
fifteen i'm just
thinking of have you
seen that picture of
all the girls at the
party with their red
cups and they're turned
towards the cameraman
making like a face and
they're all staring at
the person taking the
picture like what the
fuck who invited you
like that's what i'm
picturing when all the
kobolds twist around in
their chairs but they're
all waiting for their
food they're like you
do you have it yeah
order for moon dusty
she just says it when
i used to work at a
restaurant i would
notice that sometimes
that people look up
sees their food i would
intentionally walk up to
people and then like
beeline it around to the
actual table
that's fucked up what the
hell it brought me
evil it brought me
infinite joy that's so
fucked up uh but with
your roll of a order for
moon dusty
roll of 15 you uh you
don't quite a hundred
percent pinpoint it but
you feel at the top right
somewhere pretty much
closer to the fireplaces
where they would be
great
order for moon dusty
order for moon dusty
meek meek meek meek
hello
one voice is a hand
in the crowd meek and
you see that moon dusty
is uh the one right by
the fireplace on the top
here i'm pinging it for
you
gray will uh reach over
and she's like oh sorry
for the wait here's your
your nugs
meek meek meek meek meek
and just starts eating it
just viciously she kind
of like leans back she's
just like oh this is when
this is the point where
the rotloons this is the
point when uh when heart
and gray realizes that
all right beetle isn't like
other kobolds he like
somewhat behaves himself
does weird things yes but
he's not like a screaming
little dragon lizard creature
that you know eats things
and stabs people with
spears and you know
kidnaps people and puts
out traps
he's just a little guy
she's just she starts like
just going back she's like
i'm not even gonna say
anything i'm just gonna go
i'm just gonna go i'm just
gonna go
gray stop right there
let me go back
you stay right there i'll
move you here i'm gonna
freeze you there we're now
we're gonna change the
scene back to beetle and
heart uh which guys do it
in there in the kitchen you
have one order
beetle has relayed to heart
uh she needs alfredo with a
lot of cheese like to the
point where you don't even
know if it's alfredo or like
the mac and cheese you know
mac and cheese where it's
just the noodles in cheese
it's like that but alfredo
so not actually mac and
cheese and you're gonna want
to take a fish it doesn't
matter what kind of fish it
is i mean if you've got a
high quality fish you'll like
that the most but i don't
know if elma and delma will
appreciate us putting like a
really expensive fish in this
what about like there's a lot
of fish in this fishery so
i'll i'll i'll just take one
close your eyes and uh feel
around until you touch a fish
put that one in it she wants
some fish she wants the alfredo
and she wants lots of cheese
yeah yeah yeah you just get me
the things and i'll start
working on and then i will make
a funny pasta yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah i i will have to
sadly enter the plus one on my
own uh there we go baby it's a
14 for a total of 23 heart is
like very nice cooking uh it
smells really good thanks like i i
baked it uh and he pulls it out
from the oven like i rarely get to
use an oven if anything so this is
pretty great and i probably would
notice if i just took a little bite
firefly probably wouldn't notice
uh chef's gotta taste what they're
eating
chef's gotta taste and he puts a
little bit on a plate for beetle
oh it's so cute
so as you guys do that would you two
like to deliver deliver people come
on come on both of you both you
gotta come out
wow okay both of you
got big old place okay okay big
big old tray big old tray yeah i
hide i hide the part that beetle got
with the the ladle that you scoop it
out with
nice uh beetle will find firefly as
you're um as you're coming through
you hear a knock for all of you
right by the door go on just like
come come and we'll find out uh and
as you guys look through the window
real you notice a man in armor along
with a orc uh behind the door just
kind of knocking and a man in armor
it's just and we'll find out who that
is after a break
and we're back welcome back everyone
and i know you said the things that
you did
i did to your face are you saying damn
to my face to my face you know if i
have any sense of pride any sense of
ego it would be bruised it would be
wounded far out man
and so where we last left off beetle's
family has arrived and they're doing
their very best to serve them food and
stuff and as they're coming out with a
hot plate full of food uh trying to get
everybody's or his specific orders done
and you see that auntie it's just like
come on beetle we gotta get them fed
let's go sweetheart you know just
constantly on your ass about it um you
hear a rap a tap tap upon this tavern's
door and you hear from the other side
going hello
anybody is this place open for business
you look and you see the person uh look
through the window over to the right
and uh you see that this person look in
going you look very much open for
business
hello
and he's staring right at all of you as
he's knocking on the door
gray looks over his shoulder it's like
do i let do i let him in
hello
hello she's like now you might as well
might be a paying customer come on
nope all right gray i'll go and open the
door we are we are very full at the
moment but we can find you a seat by the
bar
oh hi
it's like oh i might not be here the
dine and dash i'm here to investigate
and you see he'll flash a badge that's on
his suit he's like do you know what this
is
society shiny a pin can i roll a society
check you sure can anybody who wants to
can roll me a society check
okay we're going to jail we're going to
jail i got an eight
rolls for society oh my god i sure did
roll a five a total of five
i rolled a 15 total of 15 sorry
so oh god it's the health inspector
jen says
it's worse than that so uh so the only one
who's kind of got high enough to
understand who this person may be is
beetle uh probably because you've ran
into this person before not this
particular person or the type of
individuals they are
uh i try to ask thurston exactly how
this has sounded but he didn't get back
to me uh but for those of you who know
anything about the tyrants guild and
the various uh pretty much hierarchies and
positions there is um i'm going to call it
say these are called aeguses for this one
a-g-i-x-e-s i have to i have to i have to
i have to check back with thurston exactly
how it said but um so don't take me as
gospel they're basic think of these as
people who like to investigate things
beetle like to keep an eye out for stuff
for the tyrants guild maybe someone who
likes to investigate things
they're tyrants guild detectives
exactly
one comes in going like tyrants guild
authority please make way and he'll
shrewdly shove by you graham
and head head and and you'll see someone
behind him and you see it is an orc an orc
carrying a bundle of sticks behind her
and uh also this art was done by salty
which salty did a amazing job just for
context uh salty will give me these
amazing pieces of art and go i made you
some npc characters i have no idea what
their name know anything and go i got an
idea for that and i will do things to
to the players this may uh but salty did
wonderful stuff on this and which uh
and which eventually you'll get these
handout cards and tokens on our patreon at
narrative declaration you know patreon.com
forward slash narrative declaration and um
he says orc will look around she seems
just not happy to be here but you see
has a bundle of sticks uh behind her she
has a flat cap on a very disgruntled
looking orc but definitely built up like
you know she can lift weights
but uh but she's holding a a wooden
staff with her just kind of using as a
walking stick not like she really needs
it and she's looking around everything
like you know that's all she does just
kind of grunts and um you see he'll
look around and see like in look down to
you uh beetle and go like are you the
proprietor of this establishment oh and i
am shot here shot tear the act the
aegis so if you could appoint me if you
are not the manager i wish to speak to
the manager of this establishment
did you say your your name was
shark shark the air not karen
it's right over there sir who would have
such a repulsive name and as you point
over to uh he was like not serious if
your name caring and you're cool don't
worry about it i'm sorry i'm sorry
karen's i'm sorry karen's it's a joke
it's a joke it's a bit you understand
you know i'm sorry it brings you pain
your name didn't deserve it anyway she
looks so uh he looks over uh to mom
mothel and she kind of crosses her arms
going like yeah what does time skill one
yeah you see we got a full house we're
too busy for your shit he's like oh
hell i think i just need to look around
if you don't mind i'm looking for some
particular individuals maybe covered in
dust and blood of my fellow compatriots
did it be both
well of course oh my god could you
imagine going to bed covered in dust and
shit
like yeah that's a before going to sleep
absolutely had to have yeah
yeah like gray complains pretty
frequently about she doesn't like being
dirty
he'll he'll look around he'll see you
see a bunch of like uh young cobalts
and stuff okay oh is this a family
gathering
uh
unplanned smiles
say oh yeah it's always so good to
stay connected with family isn't it
uh oh yeah yeah i'm sorry we were just
actually i'm gonna get that like it hurts
you want to pass me the linguine
sorry sorry could you could you just move
to the side a little bit i'm just gonna
take that thank you
he stands firmly and does not move
and he goes oh well i mean don't let me
impede your impede your celebrations
in fact allow me to distribute a gift
i am but i definitely don't want to come
in here and be the bad guy you know
everyone's always scared of the tyrant's
guild but we do so much for the people
here we try our very best to instill
law in order and he'll look to his uh
companion the uh the orc miss and he'll go
uh do you have any of those uh no those
little fire sticks don't worry they're
perfectly stiff they're like little
little things that children like to
play they're like little harmless
fireworks a simple enchantment
yes that's a branded name now we're
now demonetized thank you
you'll look to her and go
the tyrant's guild is not sponsored
you know not in this world
it's not all sponsored today
could you do you mind um passing those
out please and the orc go
and she'll take out one of the sticks
from her back and she'll kind of do a
like a little flick with it and it turns
into like a very kind of glowy uh just
like stick like a little twig just has
like a very pretty thing and it makes a
trail and everything and and it seems
completely harmless it's not burning in
the car any of the rugs below her
messing up the wood and it's just it's
just a pretty little thing and she goes
like if you please and go hmm and
she'll just kind of like forcefully
shove herself past you guys um
needle looks disappointed when she
passes because he didn't get one
you want to ask for one but he doesn't
get one you want to ask for one
puts up a hand expectantly for one
when she goes by he's like she'll roll
her eyes and hand you one and take
out another one flick it up there's a
whole backpack of these it starts
handing them out and she goes like
and antsy would go yeah whatever and
she passes the one the young ones she
puts it yeah gives it to the mom mom's
like okay yeah whatever this is to be
entertained it's like the ipad handoff at
this point oh no beetles siblings are
ipad kids
and you see she'll start passing around
to all of them and she'll she'll begin
working on that just saying all of them
seem overjoyed to have one of these
sticks here and and as she's doing that
uh he'll step off to his eye like please
don't let me um stop your work let me just
take a look around if you don't mind and
ask a couple questions here and there
oh yeah of course thank you and beetle
will finally get past this asshole to
pick up the linguine
oh oh
pick up the linguine
beetle no no no no beetle beetle beetle
beetle heart holds you know once again
he holds the form that is straight out of
the oven
oh yeah okay you come you go with me and
we'll be careful around uh a sticks woman
thank you stick lady
thank you
uh we have orders to fill if there's
anything you need just i don't know
shout
oh i'm done talking to talking to certain
folks i'll probably drag some of you
thank you for your cooperation
yep
as you guys
you see he'll be talking to thelma who
seems very just one word answer going
nope nope
you know just talking back and forth
the egg kobold turns slowly in her seat
and is just staring directly at the side
of his fucking head
holding the stick in a foot like the toes
are curled around the stick holding it like
fingers just staring with the spark
they're going off
and uh uh beetle will find firefly and
deliver her her fish cheese linguine
where's firefly uh firefly is quite
obviously uh right here
obviously yeah you find firefly either
because you know all of your sisters yeah and and deliver the food
and after which you see um start here
will step back from uh thelma and begin walking to you guys
now away from her
and go like oh while you're here and finish with your delivery i have a couple questions
yeah
well i'm as you know as you may notice uh there's been a murder of a high official
recently going around and we've heard reports of someone slaughtering a bunch of tyrant's guild members
around here in the ponds palaster normally crime is a carbonality here and the
he looks around the tavern more dreadful parts of our beautiful city but i just have a couple questions if you can answer them for me
oh is it really murder if they asked for it
darn man
beetle just like cranks his head to stare directly up at heart his jaw is slack he can't believe what i just said
you know how like certain people are like that i'm not saying that i did anything but you know
he will uh
he'll he'll look at you and you see his his helmet and like this like
big like plated scale coiff kind of jingle as he kind of tilts his head over to the side
and he kind of like
kind of like twitches a finger here and there in one of his gauntlet hands go like
oh yes of course we would want any incidents um
so guys i have a couple questions uh where were you
uh on the last couple days
with my friends
oh well yeah we're delvers actually
yeah
oh delvers are you
interesting
side business
yeah
yeah
we just got into it
yeah
oh just new delvers
excuse us
we um
we lost
one of our
actually
the founder of the fact that we were going into delving
actually was lost recently a heart actually starts to tear up excuse me
but um
oh
oh
he um
he he was recently lost and uh
yeah
oh that's quite a shame
maybe kind of in a floor there's a handkerchief that comes out
of his wrist and he and he hands it to you
if you take it
yeah so we uh we've been just exploring down and you know in the hole
oh good um so a hole you say
any scribbling stuff on a notepad
yeah the hole like the the sinkhole like the hole
yeah you know delving delving typically goes down
where were you delving
in the hole
in the hole
oh in the hole
yes
all right then
um what's uh your companion that you unfortunately lost
what did he look like
talim
talim looked like talim
talim's his name right
and he writes that down
and uh
long since dead now
yes
there's his shield up there on the wall in beetle points
oh his shield
and he looks over
and he goes
oh
and he notes that down too
and he goes
heart says a little
heart says a little
quonshire prayer
and he looks over at
at the shield
oh quonshire
oh my brother's from there
he writes that down
my head is in my fucking hand
he will uh
as he's noting things down
he's like
and what did you say
your friend looked like
like talim
that was his
that was his shield
he looked like sleep
you know uh
you know uh
holic's alchemy
he was an alchemist
talim
he was really good
but he's with holic
so that's the part of the sinkhole
that
that we like to go to
down near
near holic's
you're saying he's friends
with a wanted criminal
wait holic's a wanted criminal
oh interesting
he kind of like
writes that down
I'm dying
I'm dying
I'm dying
I'm dying
wait wait wait
you know
holic's a
where a highly prized
individual is
what
no we haven't
hold on
hold on
go right back
did you say holic is wanted
is holic suspected of murder
yes he has a bounty
of a thousand gold on him
for countless murders
and experiments on people
mostly of the tyrant's guild kind
but definitely a highly prized thing
on all lists
tell me more
I'm putting my head in the oven
I'm putting my head in the oven
this is the first I am hearing anything
oh my god
I didn't think that holic could do it
I didn't think he had it in him
he's built like a twig
he's a little twig guy
he doesn't even have a nose
he's noting down your reactions to it
and all of you see holic outside this window
working on the cart
to your left
by the way
oh no
oh my god
I will say this though
that puts a lot more respect on holic
because he can hold his own right
yeah yeah yeah
as you go ahead and he's like
and uh
you start to see him
starting to look over to the right
and he starts looking around the tavern a little bit
and he's like
interesting
and he's like
he looks around
and he takes a kind of
90 degree turn to the right
looking around
wait wait wait
wait wait wait
he looks to you
wait
wait
so is holic
suspected of having some connection
with the
with the murders that happened
and with the high official
oh no
you just gave me a lead
on a case that we've been trying to solve
for years
knowing that he's still
he's operating in this area
has been great news to us
yeah he's
he's still in the hole
I had no idea
that he had done any of this
yeah yeah yeah
in the sick hole
you know holic's shop
he's got a shop down there
oh yeah he does
he does
yeah
yeah
interesting
he writes that down
yeah
we ran into him
during like
one of our first excursions
so he's still down there
last I checked
roll deception for me
oh yeah of course
I'm gonna fucking puke
that is a total of 25
I'm gonna bring this artwork in
feel free to turn it off
and you're in
I'm doing it just
bring it back up for chat
so you know who they're talking to
heck yeah
there we go
yeah with your roll of a
I'm gonna have to do a little
yeah sure
okay
you're like
interesting
right
you know what
I can draw you
here heart
would you continue
fulfilling orders
uh
I will
draw you actually
a little map
oh please I have
so many more questions
I'm sure the patrons
could wait
you know
we wouldn't want them
to be in danger
of such a dangerous criminal
especially if they're
nearby
oh no
he's in the hole
like that's the last place
we saw him
I could draw you a map
uh
of how to get to
the shop that he set up there
cause he was set up there
like it looked like
he was living out of it
yeah
excuse me sir
I need to pass
and he does not move
and he looks at you
and says like
please
I have more questions
we're gonna switch to grey
just a great
grey you've been just
in the kitchen
I'm assuming
cooking up stuff
I'm assuming you got
some orders here and there
and you've been
dutifully making stuff
uh
what would you like to do
uh
is there
mm
yeah
grey's gonna like
kind of poke her head out
uh
for a sec
and just be like
do you have any orders
like what's going on
oh
and she sees them
having the conversation
in the distance
and she just kind of
listens for a moment
you were very far away
in a very
commotion driven
yeah
commotion
these other kobold sisters
are not shutting the hell up
you hear me
so for you to hear from there
you're gonna have to
practically give me
a really high roll
to differentiate it
but you are a gnoll
and I will give you
I will give you that chance
and that's the only reason
I'm giving it to you
I got big ears
would I roll perception
for that
perception
it's gonna be
need to be a high DC
you're gonna have to be
oh please
please
that is a total of 28
that is a 19
for total 28
and you got it
let's go
for the 19 on the die
and for 28
and everything else
you hear from the
from the wave
oh my god
you know just all that stuff
you kind of hear
you understand
the holic did what
yeah
you hear that
piercing through
hearing beetle do that
you learn that holic
is a very much
highly desired
wanted criminal
like with a bunch
of money on his head
for egregious crimes
and all this other stuff
and um
and you see that
he's turning over to you
and preventing heart
just with a polite hand
saying hold up
I have more questions
and uh
and that's where we kind of
switch back to you
you're hearing
you've perfectly heard
everything that was going on
she'll uh
she'll yell over the crowd
just like
hey
I need hands over here
I have orders
try and like
get one of them
over here
you see that um
the chartier
will look back
and go like
I see that I'm holding you
too much
I can ask you questions
while you cook
let's go
oh motherfucker
and he will
get out of your way
and begin to go down
he's like
oh and
is this one of
your companions
he looks to you
heart
hmm
great
yeah
she's uh
gray
okay
yes
this is gray
uh
hello
hello there
it's so
lovely
to meet you
I am
Jean-Tierre
an aegis
an aegis
of the tyrant's guild
hello
shardy
how would I
he kind of
you see his hand
just kind of
Arthur meme
grip
just
like a leather
just kind of
squeeze in
and he's like
it's just
very nice
to meet you
I have
several
questions
really
what um
what can I
help you with
we've got
orders
we're a little
busy over here
Ben
you see he'll
shut the door
going
just to make
a little bit
quieter
and you see
he'll tap
the lock
and uh
and as he's
walking
walking over
past you
he will go
and he's like
oh
and um
I was
I heard
your name
was gray
correct
and he goes
over to the
other door
and he
tap
tap
right onto
it as well
and looks
to all of
you
and um
and he
will go
he's
sweating
even though
he doesn't
have any
sweat pores
his eyes
are leaking
little beads
of eye goo
are like
forming
and running
down his
eyes
he's sweating
through his
eyes
he's panting
a little bit
he will
um
he'll
see you
gray
and go
like
so I
heard that
uh
you all
are delvers
you're a
delver
correct
yes
recent uh
excursion
and uh
where were you
delving
recently
in the hole
are you
registered
with the
delvers
guild
sweats
um
not quite
yet
as I said
this was
recent
and we
were given
a job
oh
not yet
he writes
down
it was
more like
feeling it
out
I'm very
new to
this group
yeah we're
talking with
baron we've
got a contact
so we're
we're legitimate
we're looking
we're hoping to
get it done
yeah
yeah
tell me all
about baron
our legal
sort of
you know
yeah he's got
a dog
nugget
uh we met
him one day
on the street
and we just
started small
talking
see I uh
I actually
uh beetle
touches his
fingers together
I I read a lot
of uh crime
novels because
my my family
we help uh
or run a
library essentially
and I I've read
a lot of crime
novels so
I'm I'm
something of a
closet
investigator and
I think
investigators are
really neat so
I try and
stank up
conversations and
and remember
little little
bits and pieces
about people
that we meet
so it's just
yeah I'm a bit
of a chatterbox
and you know
we got to talk
beetle
cute dog
sir
mr mr
sharky
something uh
what do you
need from us
I'm just hoping
you can answer
the questions
I have
he's investigating
yes I'm
yes I can see
that but like
the times
were very
interested
uh there were
several deaths
recently in the
pond's pilaster
and I'm just
following up a
couple leads
that I have
that's so sad
and the heart
starts working
apparently
hollick could
have something
to do with it
or well he did
something else
get this hollick
is actually
responsible for
a shit type
murder
oh
I couldn't
believe it
way more
respect to him
there are lots
of people in the
plaster
lots of bad
people
I was just so
shocked because he
was so nice when
we met him
yeah
I mean
he's pretty nice
still
yeah
well we went
down to do
the hole
well
the hole
thank you
for all of
this information
he will kind of
close his notepad
a little bit
and he'll put it
inside his little
pouch
and uh
he will go
your descriptions
definitely fit
one of our
agents
uh
our agent
our agent's
report
and um
now knowing
that one
the hollick
is even
involved with
all of you
makes this case
a lot more
interesting
now I'll have
to ask you all
to come with me
over to
over to the
bishop's plaster
and um
for a lot more
questioning
no
well
you see
I'm working
oh that's fine
if you're working
but if you do not
come with me
my associate
will explode
every single
child inside
of this building
not only
are those
fire sticks
as an excellent
toy for children
but they all
can make
everyone
wielding them
just go
poof
whoa
wait
are we under
arrest
yes you are
by the authority
of the tyrant's
guild you have
the right to
follow me
and obey
all of my
commands
any resistance
will be met
with death
in all lashings
depending on
your worth
to the tyrant's
guild
what
present your
hands
and he takes
out iron
shackles
and such
and saying so
and you will be
you're being
charged
currently
with the death
of several
tyrant's guild
members
what
and you must
come with me
what
beetle hasn't
killed anyone
he hasn't
killed a tyrant's
guild member
beetle looks
at heart
he just
he's dismayed
his hands
are out
and fingers
are fanned
i have no
reason to
lie
this is
actually true
if you look
through all
the bods
beetle
hasn't
killed
a
killed a
member
of
the tyrant's
guild
or affiliates
with them
i like that
as defensive
if you check
the bods
pushes up
glasses
actually
our entire
adventure's
recorded
beetle has
never last
hit anything
in his life
beetle has
killed multiple
people actually
but not
any of the
tyrant's
killed
oh that's
true
he's killed
a couple
of the
crocs
so
remember what i
said
behind the
scenes
and i was
like man i
sure i'm glad
we're doing
this he who
after this
last stressful
session we
had
man
that's right
we went to the
brb screen
and it was like
oh this is so
nice and up
hearted up beat
episode to like
relieve the tension
of the last
episode this is
great
he will uh
he's just
dangling the
dangling the
um the
cuffs with
them and he's
like i'm
waiting i don't
really like
trying to
wrestle people
down it
usually gets
right dirty
and you know
with all the
bodies inside
they clean
them up after
their innards
go everywhere
it's a
absolute trouble
for some of
the guilds
could we
go out
could you
uh could
could could
could you
arrest us
out where
my family
can't see me
being arrested
for something
i didn't even
do
they can't see
you now
what
you're literally
in the kitchen
they can't
see you
no but
you gotta put
the things
on my hands
and then i gotta
walk out
i'll take you
out the back
how's that
sound
we have a
back
we have a
back
uh
no
i i would
i would
i would
very much
enjoy to
see that
beetle's
family who
has done
nothing
goes safe
from this
please
oh absolutely
they'll just
have a harmless
toy after we're
gone and
bringing you
to justice
could you
collect them
again please
absolutely
my sister
she will
collect the
sticks
and they'll
she will be
returning with
me
yes and
then we
can follow
along
yes
long
after
we're
out of
here
and you're
behind
bars
and
secured
why are
we getting
arrested
again
yeah
apparently
we fit
the descriptions
of people
connected to
the murders
which is
bizarre
because i
don't even
look like
any other
kobold in
this city
are you
sure
do you
remember
your
encounters
going into
the ruins
yes
yep
i had
the triple
check
so
he's like
all right
my patience
is waning
thin
like put
put these
on put
these on
or they
all die
i'm under
a strict
schedule and
especially if
hollocks
around i need
to go find
him and
a lot of
you hear
uh doors
opening past
the door to
the north
and you
know
hollocks
set up
shop
here
can i
at least
do one
thing
before
all this
what
while heart
is talking
to give
heart more
time
beetle will
come over
and put
his hands
out for
the shackles
i just want
to deliver
this last
meal
okay
set it to
the side
you don't
have to worry
about it
the establishment
will take
care
no like
my dude
if there's
anything
i need
to do
this
you don't
know who
owns this
establishment
i need
to deliver
this last
meal
oh they're
just a couple
old
hags
stairs at
can i roll
intimidation
shake
uh you
sure can
can i help
my beetle
groveling
and be like
please i
i don't
i don't want
heart's decision
here to affect
my family
at all
if you could
just yeah
just put
those little
clickers
on me
awesome
he puts
the chains
on you
i rolled
a four
on the
die
but due
to
due
to
chat's
generosity
i can
re-roll
that
i got
an 18
remember you
had the
intimidation
thing you
always target
him
yeah
sorry about
that
that is not
enough
to intimidate
him
okay
but he still
stares at
them and goes
like i need
to deliver
this
he's like
he just shakes
his head no
and go
please put
please put
the cuffs on
before i get
even more
impatient
i don't really
want my
family and
my mom
to be
blown up
if you
wouldn't mind
putting the
cuffs on
please
i
i
heart
um
heart puts
it down
hey
soren
yes
can i
try to
see if
this guy
is genuine
about the
exploding of
children
absolutely
roll my
perception check
nice
i rolled a
200 die
for a total
of 13
in case anyone
else can do
this
he will
kill them
all
in case anyone
else wanna
like
if you're
familiar with
dnd 5e
insight checks
perceptions what
you do for that
for pathfinder 2
you're taking a
look and trying
to figure it
out
so
salty's trying
to
i'll give a
roll for
a nat 20
all right
you got a nat
he will kill
them all
he is dead
serious
he there is
no remorse
in his eyes
he just
wished he
could get
everybody else
too
all right
all right
everyone uh
does everyone
willingly put
the man
put the
things on
this is all
gonna be fine
because we'll
get there and
they'll see that
we had nothing
to do with
any of this
i don't even
know what i
just wanted to
cook man
it's gonna be
okay
i don't think
it would be
this bad if
talim was
here
i miss
talim
i also
miss talim
he goes up
to you gray
do you
do you
willingly put
the shackles
on
she'll get a
little snappy
and a little
growly
young man
i am
far older
than you
and i've
killed older
and he'll
go to heart
oh i i'm
not surprised
and it's
like he goes
to you
heart heart
do you
allow the
things to
be put
on to
you
what are
these gonna
do
i can break
these cuffs
i can break
these cuffs
and uh
do you allow
it do you
resist
he holds
out his hand
what are
these gonna
do
just a little
bit of security
for now
and he
will uh
most of the
security is in
the other
room
and he
will uh
he'll open
the back
as he
kind of
tap tap
the door
and he'll
go
and he
will uh
lead you
all back
and you feel
a tug
not even a
rope there
but you feel
a tug
as he kind
of brings
you all
thanks for
arresting me
in front
of my
mom
and he
will open
the doors
and what
you see
is
hollick
and lorne
having a
conversation
in the back
i hate
everything
he will
look to
them
and then
look to
all of
you
lorne
will look
down
look
the
hollick
and the
hollick
will just
kind of
shrug
and the
guy will
look to
you
i'll shove
you up
here
he'll look
to all
of you
going
oh
holl
huh
yeah
i'm holl
what
and peter
like
leans
around
what
hollick
what are
you doing
here
you
murdered
a bunch
of
people
that
weren't
getting
arrested
good one
though
like
i need more
respect to
you
like i
respected
you
before
but
now
yeah
what
the
fuck
you
never
said
you
killed
a
bunch
of
people
well
they
deserved
it
yeah
heart
wants
to
go
forward
for
a
high
five
yeah
but you
are
you
restricting
you feel
like
you're
kind
of
yeah
in
place
like
something's
kind
of
keeping
you
restrained
uh
the start
of just
the mandibles
and you see
Lauren will
kind of
look over
and looks
at
hollick
and will
go like
well
and hollick
go
might as
well
and you
see
and you
see that
hollick
with a
quick of
a hand
he'll
throw a
bottle
and you
see
Lauren
like
fire a
bolt
straight at
um
I can't even say
his name
anymore
yeah
it's
Shardy
you see
immediately
like a
cloud
just pretty
much appears
in front
of you
all
and all
of you
feel
your cuffs
and everything
kind of
fall down
and everything
I will put
an effect
here
but it
broke
like
I had it
all ready
too
and toggle
like
oh
that's
broken
and
actually
hold up
no
I can
redo it
I'm redoing
it
I'm redoing
it
I'm making
it happen
I'm making
it happen
I'm making
it happen
it's fancy
it's fancy
it's fancy
everyone
it's fancy
for everyone
at home
do like
looking at this
from like
the mind's eye
from that
of a
um
if you are
just listening
to this
you're not
seeing anything
right now
this is me
stalling
this is me
stalling
forever
wow
I can't believe
you're doing
such a good job
at stalling
it's so good
looking though
guys
it looks so
good
it's so good
I'm gonna make
a green
yeah
it's so good
everyone
like you
wouldn't believe
if you were
here
right now
there it is
all the fog
look at it go
yeah
I can even
make it go
really fast
and intense
thank you so much
for the cool saying
wow
oh my god
thanks
let's go
so with that
all of you
all of you
are no longer
grabbed
and combat
will now start
oh fuck me
and so
what you will hear
and what you will hear
is like
don't let him
snap his fingers
and
and uh
you'll see
that Lauren
will quickly
uh
dash away
near the beginning
of combat
and Holic
will just go
I'm getting out
of here
and duck
under
the carriage
and uh
I need everyone
to roll
uh initiative
once it uh
starts
give me a second
there we go
go ahead and roll
initiative for me
please
question
Soren
yes
due to being
this close
to this guy
can I roll
a Felix
no
okay cool
thank you
I just want to
ask
oh
I got a
one
I got a
I got a
it's up to
you Beatle
I got
I can't
I can't
believe
I got a
one for
initiative
complication
not initiative
fellas
oh
thank god
all right
all right
Beatle got
gray got
a 10
and our
good old
friend
got a
let me reveal
that
all right
it's his
go
and he looks
right to you
my
god
get
it
it looks
right to
you
heart
and he
quickly with
a flash of
his sword
shing
takes his
sword out
for one
action
and gets
a strike
and gets
a strike
on you
with the
falchium
here
shing
hits you
with a
yeah
he damages
you for
13 points
and you see
that he
will try
and uh
and back
away
from you
you try to
back away
to here
nice
of course
third action
and that's
the end
of his
turn
beetle
beetle
gets out
his gun
get it
together
get it
together
and uh
beetle
okay
beetle gets
on his gun
and he runs
this way
okay
gotta go
around
around the
crates
so 5 10
15 20
25 30
yeah
the doors
get closed
it tries
yeah he tries
to open
this door
you see
that it's
locked
fuck
fuck
oh
fuck
uh
uh
uh
uh
uh
can i
can i
shoot the
doorknob
no it's
probably
magically
locked
you can
you can
attack the
door to
bust it
down
if you
want
yeah
i i
start
just
wailing
on the
door
i just
started
like
whacking
the door
with the
gizelle
so i
guess
yeah
you're
just
trying
to bust
it
down
go ahead
and do
me
an
armed
attack
on it
just
to click
the damage
on it
i know
you're
gonna
hit
it
yeah
where are
my fists
where are
my fists
in your
action section
there you
go
it's
yeah
all right
you did
a 25
click the
crit button
for me
please
okay
was that
your crit
button
that was
my
crit
button
hold up
i'm gonna
click that
yeah
yeah
it was
okay
you do
two
damage
you're
making
your way
through it
so you
do two
movement
and then
one
attack
heart
it's
your
go
also
you
should
be
no
that's
right
i hit
you
go ahead
okay
okay
so what
what i
will do
as
heart
is that
i
will
move
he
will
look back
to gray
give a
thumbs up
and go
i never
make deals
with the
cops
and he
starts
running
after this
guy
yeah
he goes
he goes
up here
i wish
to go
into
mountain
stains
and then
for
one action
this is my
one action
your turn
you see
the mist
dissipate
yes
this is
one
my
one
assailant
action
this turn
that is
i want
to grapple
this guy
all right
let's grapple
him
uh
you remember
how to do
that with
the math
yes
yes i
straight up
do
uh
here we go
here we go
baby
uh
so here's
the grapple
and uh
with an
athletic check
against this
guy
if it
succeeds
i
will be
able
to
not only
make this
guy
not move
but potentially
get
break his
fingers
and you're
all a natural
one
i got a
math one
everyone
oh my
god
you just
complicated
it
my backup
character
you just
complicated
this
what complication
i will get
the complication
you just
fucked up
you just
fucked up
you fucked
it up
you fuck
this
hoooox
when winged angel
starts to play
it never actually
finishes
it just
dun dun dun dun
dun dun
you
messed it up
that
sucks
where's the dick
fucking dick
let's see
this fucking
sucks
fucking
fucking
let's see
I'll take
this
from
Rhett
this
I think
he submitted
this like
nearly a year
ago
actually
in
about
20 days
they submitted
this
so finally
get around
it
and remember
if you too
want to
complicate
you can go
to patreon.com
forward slash
narrative declaration
to where
you can put
your
complication
what happens
on natural
one
to basically
what happens
with you
they can't
re-roll natural
wands
because the
hero point
system
makes it a little
bit more fair
a little bit
more evil
to them
I'm going to
take this
from Red
Thist
whose thing
is called
flinching
yeah thank you
called flinching
it says
a sudden flinch
in your thought
process
makes you
question your
recent actions
make a
make a save
I want to
make you
do a
will save
for me
please
okay
and
and basically
for the will
save
if you
fail
this will
save
which
you failed
you go
like
you think
he's about
to get
you for
some reason
you move
five feet
backwards
okay
and that
provokes
attack
oh god
I wish
I put it
on him
anyway
you fall
back
you run
back
and I
and so
with that
I think
you have
one action
left
right
no
you did
mountain stance
so you're
done
yeah
that's done
all right
great
he's gonna
run after
uh
heart
and go
little past
him
gonna have to
move my
my
character sheet
it's in the
way
where I usually
put my character
sheet was blocking
the map
so I just
you can pop
it out
oh I lose
track of it
if I do
that
here
wow
okay
you move up
see him in your sights
yep
declaring him
my uh
haunted prey
double check
my stuff
and I'm going
to
I'm gonna aim
for his uh
his calf
I'm gonna try
well I was gonna say
his calf
to get him
to stop running
okay
but I
I can go for
his hvingies
let's say
if you get
if you get a crit
I'll allow him
to beast load
fuck yeah
okay
and a roll
that is a
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
me you're gonna kill my main character and all my backups i am holding you responsible holy
for my entire character i'm leaving i'm leaving i'm quitting froggy yes defeat the work
that's where i'm going man that's where i'm going
a beetle about to be an only child try to open the door i'm trying yeah beetle still has the stick
i'm so mad lucky for a good complication here let's see
so for anyone who wonders what are these complications and how can you get them as
soren mentioned earlier they do apply when we get critical critical failures not once specifically
if we just get a critical failure we don't get them it's specifically on that once and that ones
are not re-rollable the end as he already mentioned but if you want to apply one of these if you want to
make one of these actually appear in the game if you want your thing to have a chance to appear
in our sessions you can go to the narrative declaration patreon and submit your own by
joining that patreon and also it helps us keep on doing these cool shows
i found one it's very recent one so thank you to that i have to put their things into a very
long explanation of it uh this is from spoocy thank you spoocy for this complication who said
what did you say you little pretty much consumed by the thrill of battle uh if you if you think it's
a good idea to deliver a scathing insult to the enemy you're attempting to attack however this insult
unintentionally strikes a deep nerve in your opponent setting them into an incandescent rage for the rest
of the combat the enemy you've angered gains the quickened buff when targeting you specifically
get back here sharty
i am not
i do not suck to my pants i'll kill you you mongrel and you'll see that he is incredibly incredibly in
ray thank you so much for that complication and so really great just fucking cackling she's just
like you you went you saw you missed and now it's his turn he goes straight to you yay he goes
straight to you here blocking hart's path and we'll um issue with our camera system that i can't see
beetle but beetle's down there it's fine he's just i'm uh smacking it or yeah for some reason the the
perspective can't see even though it has an observation on you let me see if i can fix that
real quick he's not gonna aim at beetle right yeah for some reason it's sharty's turn beetle's
irrelevant right now yeah yeah yeah they have to see you still beetle do a little refresh i'll do a
little refresh you know the music on the beatle right you know technical difficulties gotta keep
about angry and distracted exactly he's aiming at us right does seem very distracted right now so he will uh
uh aim over to gray
and with his one movement which was free because you made him quickened he has all three of his actions
now and he will declare you as his hunted prey oh
christ let's see how the how the how the turns have tabled and he will attack you
with the fountain gets a solid head on you of a 29 dealing
23 points of damage because you're his uh hunted prey i did pray whoosh 23 points of damage
and uh he will get one more swipe on you with a minus five just bam gets right at you hits you again
even at the minus five it hits you for 24 shrinks right you see this guy is skillful with his blade
and just just just cuts into you earn additional 13 points of damage beetle it's your turn uh
i need this door broken down so i'm gonna keep attacking
uh uh i guess we're on arm strike so let's see let's do it there's another action you can do to
help you out and i'll give you a little bit of bonus because you weakened the door a little bit
there's an action you can do called shove okay or not shove uh uh uh uh force open thank you okay
that's all uh doing that so go ahead and make me why make me an athletics check otherwise do you
have the fever skill froggy uh i don't believe so okay otherwise you could have picked up yeah
and she would have enough thieves tools and all that other stuff yeah but um okay so that's total of 18.
you both you bust open the door for your one action boom
doors open for some reason i still don't have vision on you so i'm just going to drag a heart
here just to give us vision for some weird reason for some reason it's not giving us vision but uh
i'm gonna skirt around here and i'm gonna take a shot at the orc
okay you see the orcs is kind of there just no questions everyone's like hey like beto where's all food you're
supposed to be getting this
yeah so i'm going to uh uh uh uh uh uh device strategy of the orc uh okay shot with the giselle
that's 20. all right that's uh damage as eight points of damage that's getting good and you see
that uh the orc uh will get shot and now she's gonna be put into initiative yeah and a beetle will
holler which translates to throw away your sticks it's like all right i'll uh i'll have that happen
okay now it's her turn and she'll look at all of them and just because of your timely intervention
they all immediately throw their sticks to the ground because they all believe in their brother
all the stuff they all just kind of throw it down and you see the orgo
and she looks around they all threw the sticks on the ground and they all just kind of fizzle
all this kind of fizzle and you see just like as the fire
you see like there's like something that was like grabbing at something and they all kind of have like
it'll like it'll boom boom boom boom boom boom boom like not like a grenade but for those like little
explosions or so how much damage are you still holding yours beetle beetle still got his stick
roll like i'm picturing it just tucked into a suspender or some
shot roll me 40 12
female reflex save can't reflex when it's on you it's like
you take 17 points of damage okay
that's cool you know it would have killed everybody else but you're a hard adventure you
are trained you're a delver now well you know you're a hardier stock
i'm a delver i'm hardy
i'm bleeding
we're bleeding we're bleeding we're bleeding
that'll be the end of that sorry heart for dragging you there uh you are now
uh back to here it's your turn don't worry it's all good snoring i wish to do a funny
hey soren wouldn't it be funny if this guy comes up comes along and he wants a bunch of evidence
that we are weirdos and we're doing illegal stuff and then i grew to large size
let's see actions for two actions i will grow into a large size due to casting a large self on myself
from my feature a stone ritual uh so i turn large size and i let me see here real quick
throw it out here i target myself and i cast the enlarged spin
all right let's see it put large on upon yourself heck yeah baby
why come on you can't do it myself i can probably no yeah you have to drag the buff on uh yeah if
that's not the buff you have to click it and then there's the spell effect there we go yeah baby
i grow big yes yeah you're big now big now arms everywhere big scary mouth haha there's maybe a
human face in there as heart screams this it's very high pitch in comparison to his size as it
echoes throughout the city and then he uh i want to uh with my last action i want to flurry of blows
this little man all right let's see it flurry of blows allows me to strike twice uh for one action
my first attack is a 29 good hit good hit roll damage just giant fist comes in i rolled i roll
for 10 for 10. that's 10 points of damage to him is a critical miss is a not one
you complicate
there we go let's see also that moved me in game for some reason my hockey moved me in game that was weird
yeah if it's an up arrow or anything it'll move you uh let's see yeah because you can use that to
move your tokens too like a little video game um let's see oh this this one could
ah here we go there we go
i'm gonna see what this person's thing is issue with doing all this in the excel sheets is that uh
i'll get to see the description let's see
once again resetting the complication pool by spending all of it
it not intentionally i want i want art that says
the couples are just eating faster watching
okay i'm gonna do this one because this one seems to be approved from my name jurors who's
a fantastic artist who's in a lot of art for us before uh called currently experiencing connection
issues reality has a slight hiccup and that's one of the powers that can be accidentally kicked the
universe router and you hear uh the praise echo in the back of your mind check your internet connection
you're relocated backwards halfway through the last side of movement you performed
okay so what we will do for that yeah you're pretty much there you're pretty much a space back
thank you jurors for that so not only does he grow fucking huge he also breaks reality when he does
i mean it's a double door you're able to get back yeah it's fine no you're able to conveniently
conveniently fit at least i didn't clip into the wall i'm just imagining one of the kobolds gets like
lost somehow because like the door is still being busted down earlier uh and like they just like
wander and they just see this giant butt in the doorway
big butt okay yeah that's so with that that's my that's my turn gray it's your go
uh so gray's got a couple of swords in her gut right now um not the best uh but she's going to uh
uh oh god hang on i have to bring that she's going to use this chance to drag him closer to her and to
bite at him yeah yeah yeah that is that is what i am doing that's the crossbow roll roll please please
please please please please please please please please it's a 10 as a 10 for total 23. we're gonna do some
damage damage damage damage damage damage for a total of 16 baby yeah yeah because you're hunted prey you
go oh you just rip into him he's like ah thank you mighty mighty he's like trying to get you off
and she she will try to bite at him again with the negative five all right let's see it
because they missed but i want to re-roll with a hero point all right let's see it
oops got hit i still missed same same number same number it was a good roll
main attempt now it's his turn and he will look to you gray still quickened
actually no it should go out after the next round so it'll be gone after the end of this
his turn i'm biting you i'm biting you i'm biting you so he will he will strike it upon you swing
only rolled a nine but still hit you he's very skilled and uh actually no that is incorrect it's supposed
to be this damage one second it's worse yeah 26 this guy studied the blade he did study the blade hit
you for 26 points of damage oh my god for his second attack and he'll basically sweep again
he rolls a you know he rolls a natural one
yeah they don't complicate unfortunately i'm biting him i'm biting him i'm biting him
i'm going to spend a veiling point and re-roll that one no i'm gonna go meet uh to lean for
some bottomless mimosas in the uh the eternal battlefield it's okay he missed and he's going
to roll uh he's going to try to strike you one last time and he rolls another natural one and i'm
going to villain point that one and i miss again oh i just wasted villain points today
and uh he does not get you all right beetle uh i shoot again god damn it doing your best
excellent excellent shot not a nat 20 by the way i'm assuming you reloaded first and then
oh right sorry i reloaded and then i shot that's 16 points of damage boom
you know she's really hurt like you really messed her up yeah and uh abeel reloads again
okay so that'll be the end of your turn now for her you've pissed her off she sees that her spell
has failed because you're ingenuity but she knows she hurt you and you see that she'll cast produce
flame at you boom big shot comes in but misses i'm gonna villain point that
boom natural 20. yay thanks chat so
this will be double the damage that'll be rolled here that is gonna be 20 points of damage to you
boom big bolt just there's a big explosion hits you in the chest and now you have persistent fire
damage no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no
people screaming for one of his sisters to get them get some some water to put him out
so with that crisp the cobalt burn the rod heart it's your turn save your friends due to being this
size heart can actually still attack this guy from here i will spend one action to flurry of blows this
man all right let's see it i'm just gonna punch him away from gray
okay i roll the 14 for a total 28
roll two for a total of eight and then my second one
is a critical miss but due to chat's beneficial benefits i have once again somehow obtained a hero
point and i will re-roll that attack for a 17 on die for another damage roll
and i get to roll the same amount eight
why are you laughing and then my
and then on my third turn uh my third hit him with this one hit him with that one there you go
yeah my second attack that i do as my second action is my third attack rather uh so i attack him
one a third of a time and uh good hey got 19 on the die yeah exactly uh and i roll for nine damage
yeah you're actually just like he's just getting just pummeled by you just all your fists and
everything just plowing into no no soren don't worry about this i'm huge now all of this will
thematically believe that he slams down his fist once
yes my fourth action my fourth action since one action allowed me to attack twice i will attack him a
fourth time
it's sadly a critical miss at a tool but it's still three slams on this guy as one massive hand just
shoots out from from the inside of the building
i have a friend who is currently watching us in discord and not actually like in the chat um
and i get a dm i get a dm that just says bite shardy
well it is your turn now what would you like to do
i would like to continue to bite
there you go i'm just gonna keep on he's getting slammed by this giant fist
and like gray is like whenever whenever he like like whenever the fist raises back up
gray just kind of goes back into just more
oh i saw that you do hit i hit yep i rolled a 14 burn total of 27.
a total uh 13. good head he is bleeding severely you've just taken chunks to him he's like
huh get away from me
what's wrong shardy you're not a civilized beast
and she'll uh she'll go to bite again using the negative
fine baby that's a natural one are you serious are you serious all right all right hit me with the
complication hit me with the complication
oh can we get new dice
a chojo and chat i'm throwing these dice
i see one that's such a dick move when i can't i can't do it i can't do it
you can't do it you can what is it what is it what is it come on do the funny one what is it
all right uh i'll take this from nata comb for uh patreon member thank you nata uh who says oh
great they have guns now oh each opponent rolls an additional d10 for their attack rolls an additional
d8 uh for their dice rolls uh i'm gonna i'm gonna supplement that for just just the extra damage
it's a bit too much man um they have guns pick one of the following finish the flavor take you have
an out alcohol you have a tree you have a bucket you have some dlc what the fuck
anyway i want to say that he takes out a gun and will shoot you
he just has a gun now yeah he does a little extra damage is pretty much what's what i'm going to go
for that one on hit on when he attacks you and it's going to be his turn uh i think your action
was just to bite him yeah and buy him again oh you have one action left yep unless you you already
had him as your hunted prey so you're good yeah yeah uh i think after that she's gonna after her
failed attempt because maybe he wiggled free maybe he wiggled away she's gonna she's gonna take some
some steps back she's gonna move back okay she's up she may be manic but she is up he is still
quickened no he's not quicken anymore so he's back to normal my bad so he has three actions normal now
he's still mad at you per the last 50 complications before and will step up to you
a little bit out of line of sight of heart the only thing you now see is just him with the sword
reaching back the stab and
he he would miss but i have a villain point my last one
and i missed again he goes in for another slash
and he misses that one he's trying to get you but that's all his actions that's all he can do
and you are very low and for context gray is like under one one-fourth of health like like just i have
a left i have been i've distracted this man so good he wants me he wants my lunch money he wants my life
beetle it's your turn i shoot her you shoot her again let's see it you shoot the orc fire wizard
that you're saying he says which translates to if i die i'm taking you with me
so as you fire with all the stuff you notice that all of your family members have been hiding
other tables have stools over for a cover because they know your aim so they're like
so they're all just on fire shooting yeah with all the smoldering fire sticks down below and um
you said you fire until 11 points of damage and boom she's still up but still very much hurt you
think another attack like that will do it so you've you got you can reload and shoot again i reload
and i shoot again
that looks like a hit to me it's a hit
that's 17 points of damage you've been doing uh strategic strike the entire time
have i yeah and which adds all that damage are you serious yes wait where where how do i
turn it off always remember on your action you have a thing called devise a stratagem
which is what you do to get all that extra stuff i forgot to uncheck it holy
shit so roll damage for me again i am so sorry i was sitting here like you're hitting real
fucking hard for a gun i'll say i'll say that's okay i'll give you your protecting your family
buff that's my game master fix you could also like you could give her some health back i'm so sorry
i had no i'm so here's the thing there there's a lot of rules where your lawyers are coming in
and comments and stuff and be like oh my god you messed up and you know what for stuff like this
shit happens this hell it is for tabletop rpgs we fuck up sometimes we miss her tool and then
we're using foundry there's a bunch of buttons to press so that's fine my game master solution
is protecting your family buff you didn't know you had you're fine for your family right now so
that's fine do you want me to redo the damage from my last roll as well nope you're good i'm
gonna keep it twice already okay okay yeah you don't know so i'll take the four i'll take the four you
did and i'll just say i'll just say that you were very fervent on your thing you're on fire
everything else it's okay shit happens you keep forgetting you're an investigator sometimes
so you know we might do you know how we solve this if this is beetle's current lead this is actually how
investigators work then you don't need to spend an action to do it yeah we'll just yeah we'll just
say that logic let's say that i feel terrible i'm so sorry so with that with that logic we'll take
your 17 you did and you kill her are you sure absolutely it is okay because by by salty's logic
that works out so bam gone she's dead just falls backwards it follows that bundles of sticks fall out
they all you notice all all the all the sticks uh basically as they fall down they just kind of
just fall down like to disintegrate into ash and so and so does she leaving behind her clothes and
everything oh heart is your go also you're still on fire by the way um i don't want to click that
recovery check button there oh yeah i've never had to do this before in chat is a flat d20 and let's
see if you're down to fire anymore or else you're gonna take six nope you're gonna take uh six points
of damage
i have three hp left yeah remember you are a medic yeah you are you are the uh you are the healer heart
is your game i have no turns left heart will actually like just get out of here and he will
crawl out um and instead of like standing like a normal human being this is like a just a a tripod of
arms is just crawling out from this position just this creature of arms is just moving
out then gets up in a humanoid position stares down at this individual that is trying to stab
one of the people that heart cares the most about in this entire world i want to decimate this man
soren okay let's see it yeah as usual i flare up blows for one action allowing me to strike him twice
oh wait i didn't target him uh 20 wouldn't hit right uh no yes so my next roll
is a nine yeah that'll do it i rolled nine damage awesome boom right into him you see he's holding on
by a hair my third action is to strike him
that's another complication i'm fighting god if you two would like if you two would like to contribute
to our suffering patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration today's the day today's the day
you finally get your stuff let's see here uh that's average one nat one each turn
oh my god i was like oh i don't have to look through this spreadsheet anymore like
motherfucker just like bring it out again all right i got it this is a nice simple one thank
you gc rust for this one called tinnitus uh players deafened until combat ends
yeah he has our ears when he's big that's fine yeah yeah heart is now deafened yeah he screams
he's a massive amount of arms trying to slam this thing gray it's your turn
gray is going to use did you have a last action left and i skip you hard or are you good no no that's
it that's it go ahead gray my bad gray is going to use the last of her energy the last of her everything
to give him one final bite aiming for his neck oh let's see it please please please that's a miss on the
two i'm re-rolling i'm re-rolling i'm re-rolling i'm re-rolling using hero point come on come on
that doesn't do it you gotta you gotta do another attack oh my god attack all right let's see another
natural one almost you can re-roll it you can re-roll it you can re-roll it i can re-roll that one with
another it's oh no that's it for a total of 22. that's a hit let's see it as hard as flanking now
eight i rolled a four for a total of eight how do you kill him she
lunges for him and she just absolutely just tears in his throat into his jugular with her big old teeth
she's laughing the entire time she is manic she is tired she has lost a loved one she does not care
right now this man has threatened more and more going on and she's just ready to get rid of him
hyena.mp3 hyena.mp3 you shake him like the beast he is and uh he's just dead in your jaws now but we
still have a thing to resolve hey beetle i'm on fire yeah we need to resolve that first to see if
you just plop down dead and start burning to death so uh what do you want to do um well i assume there's
no way for me to stop drop and roll uh you can actively try to recover yourself so what i'm gonna
do i'm gonna click do this and it'll do the stuff uh you can for all three of your actions you just keep
trying okay just pick that recovery check uh until yeah at most three times if you succeed
for the first action he drops down one failure
oh he tries to stop drop and roll okay i failed um okay i'm gonna roll a second time
another failure okay for the okay i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna
beetle gets up and he's freaking out and he starts like doing battle medicine on himself while he's on
fire jesus christ as you're doing beetle that's right as you're doing battle medicine on yourself
you see thelma come in with a bucket of water and yeah i'm doing assurance so that's that's 2d8 yeah
2d8 and you're no longer on fire and you heal yourself for eight points of damage yeah and so with that
that combat is now over great's gonna collapse in a pile because she's very bleedy
heart's gonna be big and scream and starts wandering up alongside the walls oh oh heart heart buddy
heart heart heart oh oh oh oh oh no i'm big and mad i'm gonna stand on top of me and scream
you're just fucking just wailing yeah okay there's attack on titan stuff comes
laric beast mp3 okay at uh at heart screaming beetle's gonna get up and start running over
i ran into a wall
i ran into a wall
oh god heart get down from there he's deaf
okay well he's just he's just on the buildings he can't be up there doing that we're wanted
criminals you can't be doing that gray and uh gore and graham gonna start rapidly slapping her with some
aloe vera with some uh band-aids do they have dinosaur band-aids
like drawn on no they're all these really ugly yeah scowly brown bears with a book
the worst ones they're the worst quality
okay so i'm going to a medicine check
it's a band-aid with the letters you deserved it on it you failed the message that's awesome
you want to re-roll it you got two here yes
okay thank god okay that is a crit uh 48 to heal for gray but uh as i was doing that you gotta see
um heart just you know being all large deaf everything super mad and uh and hard you see
several lights gonna appear in front of you just for you you and just kind of dancing in front of you
and you see a trail of them kind of leading back to your friends and if you notice uh you're
even though you can't hear oh i healed myself
it's actually 40 48 plus five since you're an investor yeah oh right
yeah we'll just do that just to yourself yeah plus more myself yeah plus five uh you just want
edit that on yourself gray um but you notice that the it's dancing lights uh just kind of leading
you back to the thing you see lorne kind of have a staff and he's just kind of making them dance
trying to corral you back in he starts looking down where where there would be eyes there there are
none it's just pitch black teeth everywhere there there's just drip edge of tears where tears would be
and we're like you know whatever and this big mound of arms start just flopping off like sludgy meat
or wet clay down on top of the on the roofs and then just regular heart appears normally
i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry and he just jumps down speaking louder than normal yeah i'm
i'm a bit torn up okay i'm sorry that's okay just come on back okay
he starts like uh sliding down gray's gonna just stay on the ground she's very tired
the beetle's gonna lay down next to her so are we like we're we're like leaving town right
it's uh you see that lorne and holla would just kind of look at each other going well
well well you killed one of a an aegis here and they're one of the
yeah basically spies here for the tyrant's guild so they're going to be asking questions and if they
know your faces you you they might be looking for you but they do have their hands full considering the
fact they only sent one and not an entire hit squad who come after you i think you'll be safe for a
wow definitely laying low or going somewhere not here for a bit we'll definitely be advised oh i'm
bad at that we'll plant the bodies we'll plant them somewhere else and we'll make it look like some
kind of betrayal or freak accident where we'll pour that old lady's dust all over him we'll pour
pour the ashes all over if something happened and we'll burn him a little beetle stop talking my head
hurts heart heart puts a hand on hollick's shoulder mad respect
all they will just kind of tap your hand and go um thanks
walks over i will start removing the evidence soren okay how would you like to remove the evidence
eating oh right heart no we can plant that somewhere else stop sure yeah because if if this is the last
place they're found slash seen they're going to be suspicious of this place so if we plant the
corpses somewhere else and make it look like something happened somewhere else all right it'll it'll it'll take
some attention off of the restaurant do we know we could dissolve the body down to bones if we knew how
do we hollick would you be able to do that yes i know how to take care of unwanted bodies
we can still take the bones somewhere else beetle i need to well they know it's him they they need to
recognize him looks at the guy who's like entire lower face part is ripped off by teeth already and he
has been slammed into the ground by a massive fist i don't know beetle like his clothes maybe
acid yeah hollick will come in and be like hi we're not downstairs or in the basement i've set up my entire
alchemy area i can easily dissolve all the evidence heart grabs the corpse i'll help you out with that
looks down at beetle you take care you take care of
gray's taking a nap now she's out okay uh i want his clothes i'm gonna i know that he came here from
i'm assuming so wherever the tyrants if they've got like a like a oh yeah right i'm going to take his
clothes uh his remains once you've gotten rid of the proof of his like death how he died i'm gonna take
all that and i'm gonna plant it somewhere between here and the place that he left from so it looks like
something happened to him on the way um heart points towards the window you see all your sisters
looking at you oh my god oh you see like a whole crowd of smooshed up faces yeah
just looking your brother is a very honorable and noble individual and heart starts dragging this
corpse away with hollick i've never done anything wrong would you like to leave the guy oh yeah if
you guys want anything out of him yeah sure yeah he is currently oh yeah oh yeah beetle wanted all of
his stuff so um yeah i will take the body okay so he had a crossbow a falchion some studded leather
armor uh he had manacles and uh tin bolts and i moved it all into the party loot and a pistol
canonically a pistol it's it's not it's degraded now okay i was gonna say uh i don't know if we could
take his armor or the manacles because beetle is going to insist that those be planted with the
bones somewhere between elma and thomas and the tyrants guild hq or whatever the closest outpost would
be for them he's gonna throw it in the hole like no he's gonna try and make it look like something
happened before he could get to the elbows heart looks at his two companions and goes um i i i want
you guys to know that i never intended for him to be able to leave this place alive to begin with
i know thank you no grease asleep yeah gray's asleep and beetle's right next to gray so when gray snores he
he can't hear heart heart can't hear himself so that's fine beetle keeps nodding and beals like i
know i know thank you thank you thank you yeah yeah he's just nodding so hard like yeah i'm seen i'm
heard yeah yeah all right so to to summarize i'm sorry i'm sorry to take agency real quick just just for
time's sake that uh you're just gonna destroy the evidence let holly take care of it yep pretty much
like you you help holly out like the professional the body yeah he's a professional it is scary and
how good he is um yeah you all go down to his lab and everything he's just like
just putting all the bodies up he is a serial killer he bundles the bones put them in a package
grinds them up in the bone mill all he's just going to work look so many questions during this
time when his hearing start slowly comes back and he just wants to learn how the heck holly started
with all of this he has so much respect for this man now and um what are you gonna do with the other
person plant them with this guy i have a question uh beetle yes what do your sisters eat
um frogs oh no i have a question no you know anything when you come back into the room you see that the
wizard you killed has been eviscerated to the bone and all of them all have like it's just just a skeleton
it's like like ants just went after this thing and y'all see if y'all see that uh that uh this uh
your mom or so will basically be like it's like you did such a good job sweetheart you protected the
family you're winning you fed everyone oh you such a good sign you help pay mama's rent and i'm gonna keep
helping you pay it mom oh you're such a sweetheart and he was always so proud of you she takes her cheek
and kind of tugs it and everything now remember if you ever run into any of those you know buffoons
you just gotta send them to the family you know we always like to just you know get rid of things
here and there yeah i know you know the girls are hungry beetle is your family part of the mafia
no we work in a library this is just the family oh yes i see it's just the family we work in the library
yeah bookings i mean i mean i mean i mean i'm so proud of you dearie you know you protected and
it all you were such a good job out there she pats hearts uh kind of leg there because you can only
reach up there you're just such a good job you have such a strong friend thank you so wonderful
and beetle is a stronger one though oh i don't know about that i mean she has working eyes heart
but thank you no no no no like in incompetency you are stronger i'm like what are you talking about
okay i'm just gonna take the skeleton because i'm gonna use it to plant evidence thanks i'm like i'm
big i can cook i'm fast that's about it like you can you can you can read you can write you can
like help people when they're sick you can shoot people i can't shoot a gun have you seen my hands
hold a gun uh no i don't think i ever have seen you hold a gun exactly because weapons break when i hold
them all right uh well see you are more skilled than me and he just pats beetle on the note of how
strong i am i'm gonna need your help carrying this stuff down the road we're gonna have to put it in
something inconspicuous oh yeah big time sorry oh yeah okay great let's let's let's summarize things
for time uh how what skill check would you like to do to plant evidence so i guess that would be
deception right um yeah let's do tell me how you will do it and i'll think of a role for you okay so
my plan is i take the remains and like a proof of identity so the guy's armor which is why i was like
oh maybe we don't put it out of the group chest because he's going to take everything necessary to
identify the bodies yeah and he's going to put them part way to the elmas so it looks like something
happened to them and they were just eviscerated before they even got there or maybe on their way back
could you do it with medicine due to being like literally a forensics yeah maybe because of the way that
the remains have been completely just fucked up the way that they died probably won't be able to be
determined so to make sure to clarify you do not want hollick which we established before was going
to take care of the bodies for you you want to do it yourself right yes that was what beetle was
insisting okay you know would take care of it all right go ahead and roll go ahead and roll me
thievery or deception or crafting whichever one you want to try i'll do crafting
that's a total of 23 all right i'll keep check on that listen beetle mentioned he's read a lot of
true crime you can try to help remember if you go down the dc or whatever you will harm it so of
course but i will answer riona's question why is on the dnd thing and not the pathfinder um twitch is a
kingmaker system and that's why yes so it's not my fault twitch's the fault yeah uh for that okay i'll
keep mind that yeah and he's specifically going to plant the bodies in an alleyway like so it looks
like yeah something happened off the road okay that's said and everything and assume you all return back to
the tavern loran will try to corral everybody back and stuff and invite you in to his suite uh basically
uh it looks just like any normal room but just a lot more little amenities like a sink and stuff and
everything else it looks it looks nice very well put together uh loran will bring you all in
and say it's like please take your time as you uh you know heal up and everything yeah here take take
some of these potions and he'll hit you'll hand everybody some potions in which will pretty much
they seem pretty potent potions and just hail everybody heal yourself back up the floor as he uh
takes care of everyone here you see this old man will um
um sit you sit you all down and he's like after talking the the harlick and things that he'd seen
and uh very other contacts that i was discussing with i've i found the answer to what you more than
likely found down there what you'd be wary of it is something called a blot
but pretty much these things originate from the continent of amari right here in outset and they
normally are not really created here in here in outset but far down to the continent of amari rest
a kingdom is called the kingdom of don individuals there are let's say i encourage you to be wary
if you encounter any of them my journeys there have been sort of misleading very lovely folks more
than happy the share of bread at a table with you are but it's always for a motive they always are out
for something and with kerdinand here arriving at his airship here at outset it's something to bewilder
that all of a sudden he shows up and blocks have occurred here brought in a lot of questions for
me because normally those blocks are what happens when something goes awry over in their kingdom when
something go becomes infected so that infection has spread here to something for a huge concern which
would explain why the tyrants guild was so active in that area because if something like that ever
spreads to people it'll be a massive pandemic
so next time you see any of those things run run like the wind and there's these particular crystals
here and he'll kind of tap on it here with a with a wand that he kind of has kind of on a table as you
guys are either sitting with him or so from the letter that you've given to me and everything what i can
surmise is right someone is in here and he taps the crystal
someone is in there a soul a being something and it seems whatever it was ain't the person
wait say again from from what the research uh paper you give me reminds us what i've been able to
find out and from a various books you're going to mention also put cases stuff this thing and from my
travels this thing holds the atmosphere of a being basically someone's life force that it ain't
that it ain't uh beetle hops up and fucking scurries over to snatch
he will he will hit your hand like no
gray will lift a very ragged finger and just kind of go quietly
could that possibly be to lean that could be jumping up and down trying to grab it still
it's like as you try to grab it he's just like taking the staff and pushing you away
he's like now now just puts the foot on my chest
fucking vomit
it could be i'll have to investigate now i'll have to investigate and see whose apna is within
this crystal but um
but it'll it'll take some time and you definitely need to lay low try to get out of here a little bit
and i recommend you do so
it's okay we've got a job we'll be out of pet town for a little bit
yeah what kind of job
find a guy
yeah we gotta find a guy and smuggle him into the town
you know because our smuggler friend is gone
gray old pat pat hearts shoulder
he'll rub he'll rub his beard and goes like
ah she well well just allow me to help you with your adventure
and he will he'll scrounge over and hand you guys a a bottle of invisibility
and i only have one but it could help
how many uh portions would you say is in this bottle just one just one
before you leave before we leave um could the three of us stay in this room for a bit i know
that it like it likes to go away but um soren yes uh mr lorn barnes had a very short time amount of
time to view this last time since last time he did beatles sort of ran away with it and screamed and
had a very like big stress moment and a panic attack
i don't even remember what you're talking about
hart wants to try to pull out the uh the crystal medallion the talisman
oh the amulet yeah
as you're looking around you do see it conveniently like as you thought it's on your wrist
yeah uh he puts it forward now that it has an additional you know gemstone in it
you see it you see it does does resonate a little bit when you bring it up and you see the crystal
that's on the table go just kind of like pulsate a little bit it seems that it's it swaps places
between the it used to be the four of us but now it's just the three of us um
you can make it if you try what what can you make what can you make out of this mr
lorne barnes and hart holds out his wrist for him to look at this he'll look at it he'll do the
he'll he'll look he'll kind of like adjust his eyes like the old man peering down at a paper thing
and goes like well it seems to be resonating with the crystals inside
if uh if you give me that gem i can start working on it it might help out
you'll be more of a lead of who's in there i don't want you to be a part of this if it's um
talim said it might be cursed the elmage didn't want anything to do with it i don't want the talisman
if if you can etch that gem out i can just take that oh that doable
try hard looks down at it not sure
my big stupid hands could probably not get it out properly i think your hands could do it come on you
can try we can all try what should i roll soren we'll be crafting i'm crafting all right
i rolled a three for a total of ten you seem to you seem to struggle uh would anybody else like to
grab it i'll give it a shot i'll roll next you can go first i rolled 11 oh wow
watch his heart palm it pass it to gray gray palms it
all right
a total of 26. there you go beetles there's a kink
no there's that but you see it's a you see it lets you do it like normally when you would look
at this thing or whenever flash in your vision uh you seem to pretty embedded in there you're gonna
need specialized tools to get it but for you as if as if it kind of liquidized a little bit it lets
you just take it out just fine hey see i told you i told you uh you are great beetle does the thing
where you hold the rock up to the light you like twist it around just to look at how pretty it is
like to you it is one of the most beautiful gems you've ever seen it also summons clown visions of
your family so that's true now the red one does that uh you're gonna praise and see how much it's
worth oh i can you can oh yeah okay i want to do that would that be another crafting check or
yeah yeah crafting would do it unless you have mercantile lore which i think the one you did have is
i don't got that uh that's a total of 20 though uh for for at least for that you know this would go
for an extremely large amount of money for the right person beetle's hand is shaking so
mortgage paid for a mortgage pay for your family would never go hungry everything would pay for
they would all afford their you know school debts everything else it is literally in your hands
right now right now for everyone here everyone here would live like kings if you found the right
person for this beetle's eyes clenched so bad hey nudges uh nudges beetle like hey come on hand it over
hey soren can i do a thing what's up for a narrative declaration can this small gem that was made
from this look like a screaming face oh no i'm still really wants it and to everyone else beetle like
once he gets it out of the redstone he looks like he wants it so badly and he's so slow and rigid to
extend it to lord but he ultimately does okay you hand it to lauren and he'll go i'll start getting work
on it right away just be back with me in a couple days i should have made progress by then okay you
won't lose it or anything absolutely not i will be right here okay beetle brings his hands good job
beetle well what are you made oh right because i got it right because yeah you got it out and i can see
you uh you were you were looking at a little intensely there i i i you did the right thing i i i know i'm
just thinking about mom i know yeah it's never easy yeah if it was easy then everyone would be doing it
yeah yeah so i'm proud of you oh okay thank you thank you lauren we appreciate your help
absolutely have a good sleep all it sounds to me that your smuggling mission is going to be
very interesting i'm still sore yeah i'm gonna take an aloe vera bath
i'll be at the stables if you need me as you guys as you guys leave um leave lauren's uh suite
and you guys either go back to your rooms maybe you go outside just to stare up at the sky whatever
you choose to do wave goodbye to the family as they all leave the tavern uh all leaving a very
generous tip which makes vena nearly faint and uh and as they all leave and and uh and thelma gives you
all 10 gold for helping out which is still a large amount of money here and outside it it's a lot of
money so you can add 10 gold for your things like thanks you know like takes that 10 gold sprints
after his family outside the door puts in his mom's hand as you all do that i assume you all sit down
the plan uh with all the details of trying to smuggle the supposed arsonist the supposed terrorist of
outset baldrick weathers someone that you've seen on a bounty board before and someone you're going to
figure out how to smuggle him from the swamps of the solitude outside of outset inside of the city
and you see you right through the gates is one of your best options and we'll see what happens next
time on raccoons
come all in chat screaming
but jay we're done i hope everyone had a fantastic time just to kind of
sort of time because i think people need to leave and stuff uh thank you all so much for coming to
watch you guys have been absolutely amazing um thank you so much minerva where can people find you
people can find me over at twitch and twitter under party demon s uh and uh love to have you
in my neck of the woods can't wait to see you and we wouldn't mention cabal be sure to uh visit cabal
channel at twitch.tv forward slash cabal who used to claim yeah that's also where you can find me
you can find me on twitch.tv forward slash cabal
although sometimes i am also under twitch.tv forward slash heavenly father
okay okay of course you can find our our lovely person who plays beetle and
twitch.tv forward slash froggy lock and of course we have the ever fantastic artist salty job where can
they find you that's me that's me you can find me at salt job on twitter and on twitch i don't stream
that much right now dating this episode but uh but i will be coming back within due time
and of course with that i have been your host and game masters thank you all so very much for
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so long farewell and see you next time goodbye we'll see you in two weeks