lonely campus podcast | Episode 9: lonely campus podcast with Jennalyn Williamson

Episode 8 of the lonely campus podcast features Jennalyn Williamson.  Jennalyn is a first year student from New Hampshire enrolled in the College of Arts and Sciences studying psychology and health humanities.  Jennalyn talks openly about her struggle to find community her first semester and the various attempts she made to get involved and connect with others.  She then talks about her decision to rush Panhellenic sororities at the beginning of spring semester and the significant impact joining Kappa Alpha Theta has had on her first year.  Finding Theta shifted her campus experience from negative to positive because she finally found a true sense of belonging on campus.  

Creators & Guests

Host

Amy Messersmith

Amy Messersmith is one of two inaugural Office of Diversity and Inclusion Administrative Fellows at Syracuse University. She is the Associate Director of Student Support Services (SSS) and works closely with the Arthur O. Eve Higher Education Opportunity Program (HEOP). HEOP and SSS are two opportunity programs that serve undergraduates at SU, many who are first generation college students. Amy collaborated with a team of likeminded staff and faculty to create The SENSES Project in 2021, which is a student focused recording studio and podcasting program for HEOP and SSS students and their friends. If you want to share your story on the lonely campus podcast, please email Amy at [e-mail].

Guest

Jennalyn Williamson

Jennalyn Williamson is a first year TRIO SSS student from New Hampshire enrolled in the College of Arts and Sciences studying psychology and health humanities. Jennalyn talks openly about her attempts to find community her first year and the significant impact joining Kappa Alpha Theta sorority had on her college experience.

What is lonely campus podcast ?

Loneliness in the United States was declared an epidemic recently by the Surgeon General. Finding community on campus – especially post-pandemic – can be a challenge for students coming to college their first year. The purpose of the lonely campus podcast is to let students who are feeling lonely know that they are not alone, and features students who are willing to talk about experiencing loneliness. Students then share the steps they took to find their community and a sense of belonging. The podcast seeks to bring hope and reassurance to the listener, as well as provide concrete steps to take to find community. This podcast is sponsored by Syracuse University's Office of Diversity and Inclusion and produced by Amy Messersmith, an ODI Administrative Fellow.

Episode 9: lonely campus podcast with Jennalyn Williamson

Mary Grace Almandrez 00:11
Hi, I'm Mary Grace Almandrez, the Vice President for Diversity and Inclusion. Welcome to the lonely campus podcast as presented by the Office of Diversity and Inclusion. This show is hosted by our administrative fellow Amy Messersmith. And features students just like you who share stories about the challenges and triumphs that come with trying to find your place on Syracuse University's campus.

Amy Messersmith 00:42
Hi, everybody, this is Amy mother Smith. I am an Associate Director for TRiO Student Support Services here at Syracuse University. And I'm also an Office of Diversity and Inclusion administrative fellow. And so my proposed project is a pop up podcasting studio, where I go out to campus and I collect student stories. And the goal behind lonely campus is to support incoming students coming in who might be feeling some degree of loneliness so that we can share other students stories who have been in their shoes, but then figured out how to take steps to find a sense of belonging or community on campus. So today, I'm super excited to be sitting here with Jennalyn Williamson. She is just finishing up her first year at Syracuse. She comes to us from New Hampshire, and she's enrolled in the College of Arts and Sciences, majoring in psychology and health humanities. Jennalyn, welcome.

Jennalyn Williamson 01:39
Hey, thank you for having me.

Amy Messersmith 01:41
Thank you for being here. I'm super excited. Okay, would you mind just giving us some basic information about who you are, whatever you're comfortable sharing.

Jennalyn Williamson 01:49
So I'm from New Hampshire, and about 30 minutes from the beach. So I love the beach and going for long rides. I have a dog and three cats, three cats is a lot, but I love them big animal person. I like Taylor Swift. I really enjoyed this new album, which is a controversial opinion. But I enjoyed it.

Amy Messersmith 02:10
So if you could take us back, do you mind sharing a little bit about how you ended up here at SU.

Jennalyn Williamson 02:16
so actually I applied to 16 colleges, and I thought that I was going to stay in New England. And I did not this is the only school out of New England that I applied to, but I thought it's perfect in a six hour drive is nothing. And with all the majors and just like activities on this campus, I thought that I could do anything I wanted. I'm very indecisive, I will always joked in high school, I'd start with a psych major and ended up with like a business or education degree. And I liked that I could have the ability to be indecisive here. And I didn't think I was going to come here, I really didn't. But with the process, and also just getting into the SSS program, I really couldn't turn it down and just it ended up working out.

Amy Messersmith 03:04
So like the decision was kind of made for you, (Jennalyn: pretty much). So before coming, could you share a little bit about what you imagined SU was going to be like, or what you imagined college to be like.

Jennalyn Williamson 03:18
I knew that SU was a party school. And I was terrified of that I was not a partier in high school. I never did anything like that. But I was looking forward to just meeting people because I love meeting people, all different kinds of people. And I knew that there would be that here. I grew up in a very small town with little to no diversity of anything at all. So just getting to meet new people that come from anywhere. I know a lot of people from New York City now. So I know what a block is. I didn't know how blocks work before I came here. But I just kind of envisioned myself being involved in different clubs and having a bunch of friends that I don't know, like the college movies that you see when they your parents drop you off and you meet your restaurants for life. I was expecting that right away.

Amy Messersmith 04:09
You know, it's funny, I think for a lot of students who maybe their family didn't go to college or first gen. I think getting information from movies is legit. Like that's one of the few exposures some students have to college.

Jennalyn Williamson 04:24
My mom went to community college, so I knew what the schoolwork would be like, but she didn't have the on campus experience. So I really had no one to judge that from nobody. My immediate family has gone to college. So it was the first one and I just kind of had to figure it out when I got here. Yeah, and the pictures online and it's like, Oh, everybody sits on the quad all the time. But we do that for maybe two weeks out of the year.

Amy Messersmith 04:47
All right. So once you got to Syracuse, do you mind sharing what your moving experience was like? And maybe what your first few days on campus were like.

04:59
So I Did the Summer Start program. So the first time that I moved in, it was entirely Davis. And I was so scared. I didn't know who my roommate was going to be actually met her in the elevator on the way up to my room. And we were like, oh my god, we're roommates, which was really nice. And I loved my dorm. I was really excited to do dorm life independent thing. And we drove up. And I was so excited the whole way up. And the second time I moved in, I was terrified. Summer Start was a mixed emotion experience for me. So I didn't know how I felt about coming back. But I knew who my roommate was going to be a new room I was in, I knew that I was on the mound, which really scared me, I had heard the legends of it. I had climbed it over the summer. And it was 100 degrees and raining. Not a good first experience. But Otto the orange also helped me move in, they push one of my carts. And that was a really great first experience, I guess. But I was so scared. And it was so hot. And I needed to meet my roommate and I needed to decorate my room this time. It was stressful.

Amy Messersmith 06:14
So having gone through Summer Start To what degree did you feel like it prepared you for fall? Or was it like just an entirely different ballgame?

Jennalyn Williamson 06:24
It was so different. It prepared me for fall in the sense that I wasn't living at home. And I was getting used to the social aspect of just living with your friends consistently and always being social. But the course load was a lot lighter than I expected. And it was just so hot to that. It's Syracuse, New York, you really don't expect that because it's cold and dreary here most of the year. But I don't know, I think it just helps with the social aspect of college. But it did not prepare me for the academic part of it. Can you talk a little bit more about that. So I took seven credits, and it was three classes. And when I started in the fall, and I was taking, I think I did 13 credits my first semester, it was just a lot different. And the professors in the fall definitely assigned a lot more work than the professors over the summer, which was an interesting experience. And over the summer, I had my classes every single day. We'll have the Monday through Thursday. And I still have Monday through Thursday classes. I don't take Friday classes. Not I don't believe in it. But I see them every other day, which is also different. Yeah, also my professors over the summer knew my name and like who I was, but because I'm a psychology major, I'm usually in lectures, and I never going to office hours. So they don't know who I am. I just kind of hide in the back and go to class and run out frequencies. I think a lot of students do that. Yeah, like and let them it's better that way. Sometimes you can show up in your sweatpants and nobody cares.

Amy Messersmith 08:07
So thinking about your fall semester of your first year, at what point did you experience feelings of loneliness? or at what point were you aware that you were missing a sense of belonging on campus.

Jennalyn Williamson 08:23
I think it was in the first week or so on the first few days, I made a little friend group with two girls that lived around the corner. So me and my roommate hung out with them. And it was really great. We're still friends to this day. But I was seeing especially on the mound, all of these huge friend groups of 10 15 people going everywhere and eating together and just having fun that I felt like I wasn't, and it kind of got clicky it gets clicky up on the mound. And I was just so scared to talk to people. And I feel like that's when it started. It was in those first few weeks, I didn't make any friends in my classes. I was getting rejected from a lot of clubs. So I was trying to make friends in that way and nothing was working out for me. It was it was really sad because I wanted to have that like quintessential college experience with the huge friend group and just having somebody to hang out with all the time. And it really didn't work out.

Amy Messersmith 09:24
I'm curious and if you don't mind talking a little bit more about just your observations in terms of just first year residence halls in general. Like what were your observations in terms of like, was it whole floors getting together that just like, you know, depending on the culture of a particular floor in a residence hall people you know, were much more likely to hang out together or maybe did you notice that there was like a previous relationship like maybe people came from similar high schools or like, how did those friend groups form based in your observation.

Jennalyn Williamson 10:01
A lot of them seems like they formed on floors. At first, I live in Flint, and my floor is not social. There's a couple of friend groups, but I couldn't even tell you the name of the people that I share a wall with right now, it's a lot of people who kind of stick to themselves. There's definitely a few friend groups on my floor. But a lot of them just aren't the people that I'd want to hang out with or be around on a regular basis. So I never really jumped into those. So never felt like I had the opportunity even if I wanted to, which was definitely hard, because I wanted to have the experience of being friends with your neighbors. And like talking to your RA, RA’s are really great. But I never see them. And I don't know my floors just a little. It's its own little world.

Amy Messersmith 10:53
Isn't that interesting, because the way that you're describing it, and I think you know, that makes perfect sense. It's really the luck of the draw. It is like if you happen to be on a floor where you know, you don't have that chemistry with the other personalities on the floor. Or, you know, a chunk of the floor is more reserved, and they want to keep the door shut, and they're a little overwhelmed with college and they're just kind of like retreating, then you don't have the opportunity to kind of gel together in this huge glob of first year energy and friend, you know, shared memories, and so on and so forth.

Jennalyn Williamson 11:29
My roommate and I, on the first day that she moved in, she moved in a day after me, we went around, we tried to introduce ourselves to everybody on the floor and the couple floors around us just to see if anybody would stick and make friends with us. We also left our door open so people could come and do the same. And the only people that we were able to connect with and seemed interested except for Where are you from? And what's your major? Were the two girls that we're still friends with now? Nobody, it pretty much just seemed like people wanted to exchange Snapchats and leave. And nobody wanted to have a genuine conversation. And those two girls were the only ones that did. And I'm so grateful for that. But even over Summer Start people were going door to door and I was able to form connections with them in that way. But on my floor, nobody was interested. And it was a completely different dynamic that I didn't expect.

Amy Messersmith 12:24
Based on your observations. What percentage of the floors? Have you observed kind of fall into that group? Is it like 50/50?

Jennalyn Williamson 12:35
I would say it's pretty 50/50. Okay. I don't think I know of any floors that are all friends, but a lot of them, at least are familiar with each other. And we'll hang out and have some good quality friend groups on them. But mine, it's just, it's very isolating. I don't know people when I walk through the hall even to this day, sometimes I see people that I've never seen in my life, but apparently they live on my floor. Oh my goodness, which is it's kind of crazy, because I've been living with the same people and my floor does have about 70 people on it. But that's not that many people. And you would think that I would have seen them by now. It's It's April.

Amy Messersmith 13:18
You're gonna run into each other at commencement. Yeah. Oh, hey, what first year residence hall? Did you live in?

Jennalyn Williamson 13:23
glory?

Amy Messersmith 13:24
I was right next door. Wow. Well, I think that that's a tough nut to crack it is.

Jennalyn Williamson 13:32
It's not what I expected in least. And then because I didn't form those groups in the beginning of the year. By this point in the year, they seem to have fractured into smaller, closer relationships. But I didn't wasn't catapulted into that right away. So I've had to work a lot harder to get where I am now.

Amy Messersmith 13:50
I just I'm so appreciative of your willingness to be open about this, because it's not easy to talk about. And I, I 100% know, you're not the only student that's going through this or that will go through this. And so I think one of the things that you can do to help people feel less alone is just to know that they are not the only ones experiencing this. And so that's kind of the purpose of the podcast.

Jennalyn Williamson 14:16
I would have love to know that somebody was on that struggle bus with me and that not everybody's called experience looks the exact same. It's not the massive friend group and the whole big party of the year. And just the all the crazy things that you see. It's, it's really is different for everybody. And I don't think that there's a right way to do it. But I was really stuck in that mindset that I was behind and then I was missing out on the college experience.

Amy Messersmith 14:46
I think that's a really good point because I think what the films that we were talking about earlier in the podcast do is plant an expectation. And there's that one model to kind of compare your experience to As you're going through the college experience, and I think, for the most part, what they put on the screen are these kind of idealized versions of the college experience. And so I think that to round out the picture in terms of experiences and in to broaden the expectation, you know, if your experience doesn't fit that particular mold, it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you, it doesn't mean that you're doing anything that you know, speaks to who you are as a person, it could literally just be a roll of the dice in terms of who you end up with. And the chemistry or the community that you have with the people that you're in close proximity with.

Jennalyn Williamson 15:42
I feel like society just makes college look so easy. And I was so frustrated that it wasn't easy for me. I didn't know. Was there something wrong with me that I didn't know about? Or? I know, but they just make it seem so simple. And it's really not in the least.

Amy Messersmith 16:01
Yeah, I think it does some damage. You know.

Jennalyn Williamson 16:04
it's a different world. You come from high school, or you're in class from 730 to 230. Every day with the same people you've been with since sometimes even kindergarten, and then you're catapulted to whole new world, I'm the only person from my high school that came here, I didn't have those prior connections I needed to completely form who I wanted to be who I wanted to be around doing that all at once in an environment that you're not familiar with. Awful honestly.

Amy Messersmith 16:35
It's incredibly intimidating.

Jennalyn Williamson 16:39
Especially at a big school, like su with 15,000 undergraduates, that's a lot of people. Yeah, you could be friends with almost anybody, and you have to pry like, figure out what your priorities are, who you want to be in college, you could be a completely brand new person. But you have to make that decision pretty fast.

Amy Messersmith 16:59
If you don't mind sharing, what does a sense of belonging feel like to you? And how might you describe it? And what were you looking for?

Jennalyn Williamson 17:08
I think I feel like I belong, when I have a group of people that I know are definitely there for me. And I know want to spend time with me and be around me, just a place where I feel wanted and loved. And I was definitely looking for that I was looking in different clubs where I could connect with people over a similar experience. And just people that I knew I could lean on if I needed to, they could lean back. I think just feeling wanted in your space is truly what a sense of belonging means to me.

Amy Messersmith 17:45
I think that that speaks to a lot of students and their experiences and kind of really captures what it feels like to have that sense of belonging, for sure

Jennalyn Williamson 17:57
connection can just go so far. Even with one person, they can make you feel like you belong, you just have to find that right person.

Amy Messersmith 18:06
and to feel like you're seeing Yeah, you know, exactly your presence is acknowledged and accepted, and welcomed and enjoyed and appreciated. Exactly. How did you go about coping with your feelings of loneliness, and lack of sense of belonging, and you know, whatever you're comfortable sharing, you're welcome to share. But whatever is comfortable for you.

Jennalyn Williamson 18:31
It was really hard for me, I didn't know exactly what to do, or I tried counseling at the barne center, because I thought maybe that could help. And I actually submitted an application to transfer for the second semester, because I thought there must be something wrong with the school. If I'm trying so hard and putting in all this effort to connect with people. It's not working. It's got to be the school, not me at this point. And it didn't end up working out. So I decided that I was going to finish out the year. Give it another chance and just see if I could make it better in the spring.

Amy Messersmith 19:05
Could you talk a little bit about the different efforts that you had made in your fall semester to connect with people?

Jennalyn Williamson 19:14
I definitely I tried sitting near people in classes that I thought were nice and friendly. But I didn't have the expectation in my head that they were going to talk to me because I would be weird if I talk to them. But I would have been so excited if they talked to me. So I don't know I have that expectation that I was going to be strange if I talk to them. I also applied to a wide variety of clubs. I got into one I got into the auto com Leadership Program. I love them so much. But I really I was trying to cast a really wide in that capacity. Also, like I mentioned earlier, I went around door to door in the first few weeks trying to meet friends and people on my floor and just like being around going to things I thought I'd meet people I went to some orange after dark events that maybe I'd sit next to someone and we'd be best friends for life. But it did not work.

Amy Messersmith 20:08
Without naming any particular clubs or organizations, can you talk a little bit about, you know, how you found them? How you know, went out and maybe tried to get your foot in the door and what that experience was like.

Jennalyn Williamson 20:25
I went to a few involvement fairs, I went to the Involvement Fair, it's on restart. I also looked around at admitted students stay at some of the tables. So I kind of had an idea coming in. I also participated in the Involvement Fair in the fall, trying to find clubs that I thought can be interesting or fun. And it was definitely broad range of things. But out of one was the only one that worked out.

Amy Messersmith 20:48
So what steps did you take to figure out the spaces and places on campus where you did find your sense of belonging?

Jennalyn Williamson 20:56
So I knew coming into second semester that I needed to do something differently. I decided that I was going to try and make a friend in every class and one of the friends that I met on my floor, she said, Why don't you try going through recruitment with me, if you don't like it, you can just drop. And you can say that you did it. So I decided to rush for social Greek life. And I fell in love, I really did find my place through theta here on campus. I didn't I coming into college, I never expected myself to be in Greek life. I don't see myself as the stereotypical sorority girl that you see in movies, and just in social media, I don't feel like I'm that kind of person. But theta just ended up being very different. For me, it was the kind of people that I've always wanted to be around that genuinely love and care about each other. And I really needed that sense of support, because there's a couple 100 people on this campus that want to know who I am and care about me. And even if I've never talked to them, I know I could walk up to them and have a 20 minute conversation if I really wanted to. I also decided that I wanted to be more involved in auto thon to try and make closer connections there and fully connected with my LLP class. So I wanted to connect more with them. One of them is in theta, and I love her so much. But just being able to feel wanted in auto THON and theta really changed my perspective of the school, the campus didn't feel so big. And I finally recognize people on the quad. And people know who I am to, and they want to be around me. And these are things I definitely want to continue, I applied for auto THON eboard. So I can continue next year. Even if that doesn't work out, I'm definitely gonna dance in the spring, because it's just a community of people who care about something and want to do good. And those are the kinds of people that I want to be around.

Amy Messersmith 23:00
Can you talk a little bit about how you came to the decision to? Because if you didn't see yourself as ever, you know, going through the rush process, can you talk a little bit about the decision process to kind of just Alright, let's give it a shot.

Jennalyn Williamson 23:14
I knew that there were a few people in auto THON that we're in Greek life that I very much respect and look up to and have similar goals in life as I do. So I thought, okay, if they can do it, and they're good people, I can do it. And just try and if I go in there, day one, and I hate it, and it's just awful. And I feel like I'm not connecting with anyone. I could just leave at any point. I got a t shirt out of it, too.

Amy Messersmith 23:46
So you, man, and then what?

Jennalyn Williamson 23:49
Um, so I during the first weekend of recruitment, you go to 13 houses, I can't imagine it was it was insane. And I was so exhausted. I didn't really have any expectations going in, I really did try to go in with an open mind because they always say to trust the process, which is a scary thing to do. But I really had no other options. There were some houses that I just couldn't connect with. They weren't my people. They were nice people. They just weren't mine. But when I walked into theta, I just felt at home. It's a little cozy house and everybody was so welcoming. And I knew that I needed to be there. And it did work out and I did trust the process process never fails.

Amy Messersmith 24:34
So it was just kind of like an obvious like, Oh, here they are.

Jennalyn Williamson 24:39
Like I walked in and I was at home. Wow. It was it was incredible. And it's it felt home in the first 20 minutes of me being there. It's perfect. It really is.

Amy Messersmith 24:52
Its like a romantic comedy of student orgs it really I'm so glad that that happened. All right. You've kind of already gotten into this. But do you mind describing the spaces and people who provided a sense of community for you, and how you might go about maintaining those relationships now that you have them.

Jennalyn Williamson 25:13
So I think the first place where I felt like I belonged was with those two girls I met in the first week, they have always been here for me throughout my very miserable first semester, and just, they've continued to be so incredibly supportive. I'm rooming with one of them next year. I hang out with her all the time, she's amazing. And in beta, it's just everybody genuinely wants to know each other. Everybody makes a genuine effort to know your name and where you're from and what you care about. And it just feels like love in there. Because it honestly, it's just a big family where everybody wants to be around each other. And even right now I could walk down to the house, walk right in, and have somebody to hang out with or just a quiet place to study. And it's so important that I have that space on campus where I can just unwind and connect with people. And through auto THON, we're all working towards such an important goal. And just planning the event and seeing it come to life in March was so magical, and that we had all worked so hard all year, and especially with the LLP program that I'm in, it was so nice to see that freshmen could have an impact on such an important organization, and that we can continue to do that. Throughout the course of our four years.

Amy Messersmith 26:37
Can you talk a little bit more about LLP What is this stands for?

Jennalyn Williamson 26:41
It's the out of home Leadership Program. It's a program for first year students to kind of acclimate to the ortofon program and help develop their leadership skills for the future of Otto fawn. The LLPs work at the main event to do different tables and stations. And we do team building things all year to kind of really get to know each other, but also just learn more about the organization and work towards that common goal together, I think there were about 20 of us, we were able to really connect because we met every week. And it was a mix of getting to know each other but also getting to know and fall in love with auto thumb. We also did a mentor mentee program, which was really nice, because I got to know a lot of the eboard, which are people that I really look up to. And I now have support systems on campus as well, because they're just they're amazing people.

Amy Messersmith 27:36
And the culminating event in March. Can you talk a little bit about what that was like?

Jennalyn Williamson 27:41
It was, it was crazy. It was a 12 hour Dance Marathon in the Goldstein auditorium of shine. And I was exhausted. I couldn't sleep the night before. Because I was nervous. I knew I had to be up for 12 hours. So of course I couldn't sleep. I got there at 7am. And it was just so nice to see all of these people that had worked so hard and care so much about this organization. And the miracle kids that we raise money for also came in. And they're so appreciative and they look up to us so much. And they're really fun to hang out with. And honestly, just being able to see what I'm making a direct impact on. But also the people that did it with me. It was beautiful.

Amy Messersmith 28:27
I remember you sharing that. At one point, you guys left the auditorium and went down, took Alesana.

Jennalyn Williamson 28:34
But we did, we went on a little parade and we are on the top of every hour, we did a dance to boost morale. So we did that dance for the kids who were in the hospital and weren't quite able to make it. They all came to the windows and we did the dance for them. And they were so excited. And it was just really special to see that even though they couldn't make it to the event they were still loved and cared for. And they were so excited to see us as there were probably a couple 100 people outside of the hospital dancing for these kids because they all cared and wanted to be there. Nobody was there was forced to be there. They all cared and wanted to go for the kids. That's how special it really is.

Amy Messersmith 29:19
And what was the final total that you guys handed over to gala Sona.

Jennalyn Williamson 29:24
I think we got to $109,000 which is so incredible that some 18 to maybe 22 year olds could raise so much money for such an important cause. (Amy: I think that that is just so powerful). It really is because when you come together and work towards the goal, it really does work out just having those connections with other people. It really goes a long way.

Amy Messersmith 29:49
I think it's really awesome that you've been able to find through both Pheta and auto thon and like minded people.

Jennalyn Williamson 29:57
Exactly. That's what I wasn't finding In the beginning of the year, I just didn't find my people that were working towards something amazing even in theta, we raise money for CASA in the local community, and you can tell that the people actually care and want to be part of that philanthropy and just, they're good people in there. Like, fundamentally, they're just good people that want to do good things. And that's the kind of person that I want to be. And those are the kinds of people I want to surround myself with.

Amy Messersmith 30:29
I think Greek life can, you know, I think people have very strong opinions about Greek life. And I think your experience can highlight some of the really positive things that can come out of it, you know, it kind of helps round out the picture.

Jennalyn Williamson 30:45
It does, I feel like it's a very different experience for everybody, because I feel like you can get whatever you put into it out of it. And like I said, there were some houses that just weren't for me. They weren't my people, but they are other people's people. And even the professional Greek life and the multicultural, you can really find anything. Like if you want to join the business, frat, you can find other people who are really passionate about business make friends that way, you don't necessarily have to be in the stereotypical like sorority house. And all of them are so vastly different, something that I found out right away, like everybody's priorities are different, and the type of people and the experiences that they come from, but most houses have a similar vibe to that. And with the 13 different ones, it was pretty easy to figure out where I wanted to go. But I feel like everybody can find what they're looking for, in that they look hard enough.

Amy Messersmith 31:48
I'm just curious, when you were going to the rush process? Had you heard of data before? Or were you going in with no expectations?

Jennalyn Williamson 31:56
I knew that there were a couple of people in auto thon that were in theta. And I looked at the list of sororities before I rushed. And I did a little bit of research, mainly, I looked on Instagram. And I just wanted to see like what the overarching energy that they want to put out into social media was, and I thought it was cute. But I didn't really know until I got there if it was going to be what I wanted it to.

Amy Messersmith 32:23
Finally, my last question is what words of encouragement or advice do you have for any incoming students coming in? Who might experience similar feelings of loneliness, or isolation, and if you don't mind, speak directly to them into the mic and give them your words of wisdom.

Jennalyn Williamson 32:42
I would say just keep trying, because I was so frustrated, because I thought that I was trying so hard that I had exhausted all of my options, but I really hadn't. I just wasn't looking in the right places. And I really feel like if you explore every nook and cranny of this campus, you can find somebody or someone or somewhere that you feel like you belong, and just trying and waiting it out. Because things definitely, always will get better. Even if it's just a friend you can sit with in the dining hall. Also talk to people, I always thought it would be weird if I talk to people, and they think I was this weird girl who was just trying to talk to them in class. But I wanted them to talk to me. So why is it any different. And if you don't connect with them, you never have to talk to them again. But that could be your best friend sitting next to you in class and you have no idea. Just trying to have a friend in every class is so important. Even if you just want to study together or do something, it is very helpful to just have somebody around. But I'd say just searching, reaching out, seeing what you can do. If you think a club isn't taking people you can always reach out places are always trying to find new members and I think just trying to go based on your interests as well. There's the clubs, sports teams, there's intramural teams, there's so many organizations on this campus that I would not have known existed if I didn't go to the Involvement Fair either. And the people at those tables will very much love to talk to you about their organization. They they will approach so if you open to it and try hard enough, definitely go to the Involvement Fair. Talk to people keep looking. If you feel like you've run out of options, you definitely haven't especially on the SU campus. There's always something you can do even if you take a fun class where there might be other people that you enjoy in it. There's always somebody on this campus that has something in common with you.

Amy Messersmith 34:53
That's fantastic. Thank you so much. Of course her your willingness to share your experience So, as previously mentioned, I 100% know for sure that you are not the only student going through that experience their first year, (Jennalyn: definitely not). And I think it's so important for, as we said earlier for students to hear that other students felt very similar to what they're feeling now. And it didn't last.

Jennalyn Williamson 35:22
Definitely, I am so glad that it didn't transfer, I think it would have just started the lonely experience all over again. I'm so glad that I stayed. And I really did fall in love with Syracuse, honestly. And I was so hoping that I was going to do that when I came to college. I wanted to have that strong school spirit and instill in my kids and hope that they come here. But it's definitely not a unique experience either. I've talked to other people that have gone through the exact same experience, it is so nice to know that others are miserable, but that you're not alone in that loneliness.

Amy Messersmith 35:58
And the other thing that stands out about your story is the degree to which things shifted.

Jennalyn Williamson 36:06
It was a complete 180 turnaround. I hated it here first semester, all I wanted to do was leave I want to be off to this campus. And now I'm a little bit sad to leave. Excited to come back and do fall all over again and actually like it here.

Amy Messersmith 36:24
My goodness, I'm so happy things turned around. I am too. That's fantastic. All right. Anything else you wanted to share? I don't think so. Okay, well, thanks again for sharing your story and Bye, everybody.

Armando Martinez 36:51
Thank you for listening to this episode of The Lonely campus Podcast. I'm Armando Martinez, Director of inclusion and belonging. If you found this podcast helpful, let us know and feel free to share other ways we can make campus more welcoming and inclusive to all. Thank you.