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Real men, real talk in real time. A mixture of guests and solo episodes talking all things mens health and performance...
I do really, really, really think that one thing that holds a lot of guys, a lot of men back that I see in coaching guys that I have experienced within my own life is this is the mind. It often stops us from doing the things that we know we need to do. It often stops you from taking that action. It often creates this narrative and these excuses or reasons not to start something like struggling for time, not having a clear run at things. Usually that comes from an expectation of what you think you need to do as opposed to just doing fucking something and getting that ball rolling and building momentum.
Speaker 1:So in this video, I want to take you through five steps to help you develop an elite mindset. And this is something that I've massively struggled with in my in my life is having what I'd call a poor mindset around taking action, getting started, around trying to be too perfect that I don't even start. And so step number one, you want to focus your mind. For so long I'd wake up scattered, pick up my phone, jump on that, jump on social media first thing, and my mind would be all over the place. Thoughts coming and going like a fucking tornado.
Speaker 1:Can't think of a good analogy then. But I recently watched that Twister documentary on Netflix which was quite interesting. So that's why that's why it came to mind. Just debris, stuff flying all over the shop, nothing coherent. And so we've got to tame that monkey mind.
Speaker 1:Very, very difficult if I guess you have ADHD or anything like that. And so how do we tame this? How do we create focus and tame this this monkey mind? Different ways to do it. Build upon some practices which can help you focus, you concentrate.
Speaker 1:Big one that I'm a big advocate of is breath breathing, breath work, bringing yourself into the present moment with your breath, which we can do right now. Take an inhale through your nose, down into your belly button and just notice the feeling, sensation on your nose and your gut. And that's focusing your mind, that's bringing you into the present moment. Some supplements can help. Sometimes with my cup of coffee, I like to put a little bit of L Theanine amino acid in there, which helps calm the mind, an anxious mind, a busy mind.
Speaker 1:Things like that can help alongside getting your physiology in a good spot in the first place. So eating, moving, sleeping well. Step two is developing, and like I would say, these things are all skills which you can develop. So developing meta cognition. So thinking above those thoughts.
Speaker 1:So once you've focused the mind, you can then have the awareness to think above those thoughts and witness the monkey mind, witness the thoughts that are trying to veer you off track. How do you do this? Give yourself time to be in solitude. However that is. I like writing.
Speaker 1:Some people like going for walks on their own, zero distractions. Sometimes talking it through with someone, sitting in silence and just talking to yourself in your mind can work. It can really really help. And I know this helped me massively when ten or so years ago when I was really really struggling with my mental health anxiety. Yeah, in a in a not a good state.
Speaker 1:This monkey mind was haywire, could not get a grip of my thoughts. And so I learned to focus using breath work and then I learned to become aware of those thoughts and almost think outside of them. I liken it to imagine you are on a bridge looking over the motorway. Your thoughts are those cars resuming along. When you're caught up in the monkey mind, it's as though you're standing on the road in the motorway trying to dodge all these thoughts.
Speaker 1:Pretty chaotic. Whereas using metacognition, which you've given yourself that space, you're standing on the bridge observing looking at these thoughts and then you can choose to or not to attach to them. Quite powerful. A little bit also a little bit like, another analogy, a waterfall. So when you're caught up in the monkey mind, it's as though you're standing under the waterfall getting absolutely hammered.
Speaker 1:Whereas using your metacognition you step outside and then you're looking at the waterfall from a distance so then you can make better choices. You can implement the habits and behaviors that you want to. Like getting to the gym, like cooking yourself a good meal, like waking up and not scrolling on your phone and doing something for you like going out for a walk. First thing, getting some movement in. Step three, you want to feed your vision for success.
Speaker 1:So now we've tamed the monkey mind and looked above. Now we want to feed your mind to give it the fuel and the superfood for the things that you want in your life. Otherwise, this monkey mind will just keep coming back like weeds in your garden. You've got to keep gardening those weeds and then planting the flowers that you want. And that's what we do with this step.
Speaker 1:I remember in Covid times, 2019, '20 '20, I stopped working in the gym because it closed because I had to and I managed to get a job luckily in Tesco in the bakery there. And I remember getting up every morning, early doors as well, like four, five, which is, yeah, too early for me. I like getting up a little bit later than that. I remember getting up, sitting there, doing this visualization, feeling the visceral sensations, picturing in my mind's eye what I wanted to achieve. I remember it vividly, I'd sit there and I'd be like, okay, right, I want to build a coaching program that helps people, wasn't specifically men at this time, but helps people improve their physical and their mental health.
Speaker 1:And then one vivid picture or video that I can remember, like a movie playing out, was me standing up in front of people giving a talk. On health, well-being, things like that. At that time when I was not my most confident, a lot better than I was ten years ago, that still felt a big big challenge, difficult to imagine doing, fearful. But I know deep down that's that's what I wanted to do. Now, four or five years later, I've done that.
Speaker 1:Albeit yes, not massive massive groups of people, but I've stood up in front of ten, twenty, 30 people and taught, told by message, collaborated, had good chats. And so that became a reality, And I wholeheartedly, wholeheartedly believe that a lot of that came from doing those morning visualizations. Alongside using the courage to actually go and fucking do it, which is a big part. And we have a lot of these desires, these wants, these needs, but so often we get we push them down or we put them on the back burner because this mind doesn't either believe we can achieve it. We don't believe you deserve it or can get it a lot of the time.
Speaker 1:I know that you can get your desired state. You can build the skills that you want or need, and you can visualize these wins that that you want in your life. And that makes them way more likely to happen. And so step four, commit, take action, create daily space, Set those intentions, whether it's in the morning, afternoon, evening. Give yourself optionality of where you're going to practice.
Speaker 1:A focusing the mind. B implant in the narrative, the story, the future that you want for yourself. It doesn't have to be that long. Five, ten minutes. This meditation took me this visualization that I was speaking about a minute ago took me.
Speaker 1:If that five, ten minutes. Some days when I had less time I just did it for two minutes, but kept it going. That's the key. Consistency in it. And so have a think about times that you can block out in your day, your calendar to give yourself those options.
Speaker 1:It doesn't have to be one set time. It can be sometime in the morning, sometime in the afternoon, evening. And then something that's really powerful as well. It's called implementation intentions. It's almost like setting up your own algorithm for success.
Speaker 1:So saying, right, when I wake up I'm going to journal. If I can't journal when I wake up, then I'm going to do it in my lunch break. If I can't do it in my lunch break, then I'll do it before bed. Right there you're giving yourself three options to win as opposed to one saying you do it when you get up, you don't do it, you miss it, you think you failed, mind's like oh fucking hell, I'm done, can't do it. Help yourself out, give yourself those options.
Speaker 1:And on that note of helping yourself out, we'll move on to step five. Take an action. Nothing changes if nothing changes. You can think about it, you can talk about it, you can read about it, but actually you've got to be about it and do it to create the change. And a big part of doing that is eliciting support from people around you, from a group of like minded people that are on a similar path that want the same things that want growth.
Speaker 1:Whoever that may be, mates, partner, join the fucking madman, little plug. Find those people that will share and support you on your mission. And so those are five steps to developing an elite mindset. Let me know your thoughts. Share it, like it, subscribe, all that jazz.
Speaker 1:Just to recap, step one, focus your mind. Tame the monkey mind through being present, focusing on something in the present moment like your breath, like noticing colors around you. The more you practice that the better you get. Getting your physiology in a good spot. If you're sleeping like shit, if you're eating like shit, you're have a hard time concentrating.
Speaker 1:Step two. Metacognition. Witness those thoughts. Zoom out and observe. Write them down.
Speaker 1:Give yourself time. Step three: feed your vision. Now you want to implant what you want to achieve. So you've built and developed the habit of taming the monkey mind. Have a level of awareness of those thoughts and emotions.
Speaker 1:Now you wanna put in what you want. Otherwise, they'll just keep repeating. Create space, daily practice for doing this, and then fucking do it. Take action. Get people to help you out.
Speaker 1:Alright. Peace. And I do have a training inside the modern man called ten pillars for mental mastery. If you want it, let me know, just find me a message, I'll send it over. Peace.