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Kamini Wood works with high achievers on letting go of stress, overwhelm and anxiety that comes with trying to do everything, and trying to do it all perfectly
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RiseUp - Why Your Pain Isn’t A Weakness
00:00:01 - Announcer
Rise Up Live Joy Your Way From Emotional Intelligence through Cognitive distortions Certified life and wellness coach Kamini Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit. Through these small bites of self visualization and self confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live. Rise up, Live joy your way.
Kamini (00:01.87) Hi there, welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening. Thank you for taking some time to spend here with me. And I wanna talk about something that's close to my heart today. I wanna talk about pain. Not as something that we have to hide, suppress, or power through, but it's something to listen to. Something that might just actually hold the key to your next level, your next level of... freedom, wholeness, joy. But here's the truth that I want to start with. Your pain is not a character flaw or evidence of your brokenness. It's not a weakness. And it's definitely not proof that there's something wrong with you. Instead, your pain is part of who you're becoming. And when we stop resisting it, and we start actually owning it and honoring it, it could become your greatest source of growth and your greatest source of wisdom. So let me just start with a myth, you know, the myth of you have to be fully healed in order to live this powerful and meaningful life. You know, my clients will talk to me routinely about how they feel stuck in this endless loop of self-improvement, you know. You know, once I fix this trauma, then I'll feel confident or once I stop feeling anxious, then I'll be able to go after what I want or once I'm no longer triggered, then I'll be ready. But it's important to remember that healing is not a linear process. We're human beings, you know, we ebb and flow, things come and go and it's not also about becoming perfect, a perfect polished version of yourself. We're always growing and evolving. So there's going to be different layers that come up. Healing is about integration. It's about being able to hold space for your story and not hide from it. It's about being able to get to a place of saying, okay, this, yes, this absolutely happened. And yes, it hurt. And yes, it was difficult. And even with all that, I am still worthy. I am still growing and I am still moving. And waiting until you're healed enough is like waiting for a completely calm day to, you know, go outside and do something. You'll stay stuck. Kamini (02:19.456) And you also miss out on life because life is happening right now. You don't need to be fixed. You need to give yourself permission to understand yourself. You need to give yourself permission to meet yourself and to grow through what has happened in your past. And many people have referred to this as post-traumatic growth. So, you know, what is this really? know, what do we even mean by post-traumatic growth? It's not some ridiculous, cheesy idea that You know, everything happens for a reason. Here, listen, my mom says it to me all the time. It's not, I believe that, but I don't want to be toxic positive about it either. It's not just about being grateful. It's about the gritty, courageous process of working through what you've been through. You know, we didn't ask for the trauma. didn't, you know, we didn't ask for it to happen, but it's what do I choose to do now? Post-traumatic growth is about meaning. It's about agency. It's about reclaiming your story. from the parts that try to define you in limiting you. It doesn't mean that you're glad the pain happened. It doesn't mean that you're excited that you had to go through this really challenging, hard thing, but it means that you're not gonna allow yourself to be, you're not gonna allow yourself to be defined by it. And I've seen this happen over and over again with clients. When they finally stop trying to erase their past and instead get to a place of, What has this pain taught me? What are the strengths that I have built because I went through this experience? Who am I becoming now that I don't have to hide that part of me? That's where growth lifts. And it's not in perfection and it's not in escaping what happened, but it's in the presence of what happened. It's in the acknowledgement. It's in the recognition that this did happen and now I'm choosing to, and now I'm choosing how I'm going to respond and how I'm going to move through it. Pain does hold messages, not just memories. Somebody once said to me that they don't even recognize themselves anymore. They used to be confident and they used to be lighthearted and now they just feel broken. And my response to that is, know, what if this isn't brokenness? What if this is just an invitation to a new version or a different version of you? Kamini (04:41.9) It's like that old saying of like your, you know, your heart, it break sometimes when it feels like it's breaking, it's actually breaking open. And so it's not that we're here to get over pain or to move past or distract from it. It's recognizing that whatever happened did happen, but it didn't just happen to you. It's happening. It happened for you and through you. You know, it's your inner wisdom saying something wasn't right. You know, you did deserve better. And now you get to choose differently. It's when you stop pushing the pain away and start asking what it wants you to know. What is this pain telling you is actually meaningful to you now? Oftentimes when I'm working with clients, I'll ask them to share with me, what do you think that that feeling is saying to you? What do you think that's communicating to you? So sometimes it is about getting curious with the pain. What are you communicating to me? part of me needs to be heard, what's this pain saying? And this is the work that will guide you. It'll help you learn to meet parts of yourself that maybe you've been ignoring because the wound that you've experienced may not have been your fault, but it's important to pay attention to are you making it mean something now and recognizing that you have power in how you respond. It's also important to remember that when you've gone through challenging time, we all work through these things at a different pace. And it's not about telling yourself, I should be over it now. You're not behind. You're not at anyone's timeline. You're on your own. And I know that life, so fast moving. can feel like we're in a race, especially if you're seeing people on social media posting all the things that are happening in their life. You might feel like, my gosh, I've got to get it together. I've got to get through this. I've got to figure this out. But your growth really isn't on someone else's timeline. You don't owe anyone a version of yourself that doesn't honor your own journey. And so if you are in the process of still working through a pain or a wound, you're still processing, you're still rebuilding, you're still learning to trust again, you're not behind, there's nothing wrong with you, you're not broken, you're just a human being. And in your humanness is where your own personal wisdom is gonna come from. And that's your strength. And that's when you're gonna get to this place of recognizing that the pain that you went through Kamini (07:08.16) is a journey and you're gonna grow through it. If you'd like to talk with me about how coaching can actually help you through this process of post-traumatic growth or working towards healing from those past wounds and challenges, feel free to book a time with me anytime at coachwithcomedy.com and until next time, stay well.
Thank you for listening to Rise Up. Live Joy Your Way. For more information, book a chat with Kamini at www.chatwithKamini.com or visit her website at www.KaminiWood.com You can also find Kamini on Facebook or Instagram username itsauthenticme. Thank you for listening.