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We’re Brad & Monnica Manuel - we've been married for 28 years and business partners a little longer than that.
Every Sunday morning, we press record on a conversation rooted in reflection. Over coffee and a vinyl record, we talk through the week we just lived: what challenged us, what taught us, and what tuned us along the way.
From marriage and mindset to leadership, resilience, and personal growth, these are honest conversations about being human through the lens of Gen X, family, work, and life in transition - one record, one reflection, one transmission at a time.
🎧 New Transmissions every Sunday morning
☕ Stories • Soundtracks • Marriage • Leadership • Self-Discovery • Coaching • Generation X
That's our plan. Hope we don't get punched in the face. What? Well, that Mike Tyson quote. Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face.
Monnica:Okay. Or Yeah.
Brad:I hear you. It does feel like a punch in the face every now and again.
Monnica:This week did. And maybe this one felt like some kidney
Brad:shots fired.
Monnica:Some gut punches, some
Brad:You're Irish
Monnica:Hell, yeah. Up the Irish.
Brad:The fighting Irish.
Monnica:Hold my beer.
Brad:Welcome back. You're listening to the manual transmission powered by coffee, curiosity, and the real life practice of showing up.
Monnica:Yeah. We're Brad and Monica, partners in marriage, business, family chaos, and the occasional emotional plot twist.
Brad:How are you feeling about everything? This week felt like someone hit shuffle on our lives.
Monnica:No kidding. Brain surgery, everything shifting with, you know, work, cross country travel, felt like having ten ten different lives in seven days, and we're not even to Thanksgiving yet.
Brad:Should we just skip it this year?
Monnica:Skip what?
Brad:Thanksgiving.
Monnica:No. Absolutely not. Nice try. Some weeks stretch your capacity. Some weeks stretch your heart.
Monnica:I feel like this one did both.
Brad:And some weeks you pull a hammy.
Monnica:Did you pull a hammy this week?
Brad:No. But I think, I know I did. Maybe you did as well, but felt a bit wobbly coming into this week's aid station.
Monnica:Yeah. I mean, I I like that analogy of the aid station, because when you're running an ultramarathon as we've both done long time ago. We've used that analogy so many times. An endurance race, a long trail runner, an ultra marathon, it tests you mentally, emotionally, physically, And you have to get really strategic about the aid stations. What are you gonna do when you get in there?
Monnica:And you have to plan ahead because probably when you get in there you're not thinking straight. And so you're likely to say, no, I don't wanna eat or no, I don't wanna drink anything or no, I don't wanna take my shoes off. I don't wanna sit down, whatever. I just wanna keep going. But that's a bad idea.
Monnica:You gotta redress your feet, especially in a really long really long one. You gotta get food in your stomach. You gotta hydrate. You gotta prep for the next leg, etcetera. And so, yeah, coming into this weekend using that analogy as an aid station feels really appropriate.
Monnica:You know that quote, no plan survives first contact with the enemy.
Brad:Yep. And I think you're right. This week reminded all of us that we're not promised tomorrow, but everything that you just described about the planning preparation that felt like this week, it felt like a lot of conversations about really thinking about what's ahead, and that helps remove some of the uncertainty.
Monnica:Mhmm.
Brad:Yeah. Before we talk about the album, I think we should do high low.
Monnica:Okay.
Brad:This week deserves it.
Monnica:Yeah. I'd say so. You know, and again, this is one of those weeks where the high and the low overlap. As we mentioned, and I I did I talked to him this morning, and he gave us permission to share. So we alluded to it last week that we had a major health situation our family was dealing with.
Monnica:So it's actually it's my stepdad. His name is Carl. He's been my stepdad.
Brad:Carlito.
Monnica:He has been my stepdad since I was nine. And he got the scary diagnosis recently of brain cancer.
Brad:Primary brain cancer. Yep. Glioblastoma.
Monnica:Glioblastoma, which as you know, is a pretty devastating diagnosis. And so a week ago Thursday, he had the surgery to remove the tumor. And so there was that moment as he, you know, we're all waiting for the neurosurgeon to come out and tell us what happened. Everyone's a little on edge, but I mentioned last week my high low was, you know, it's hard to go through that, but also it pulls us together as a family. And so we were together, which was great.
Monnica:My brother's home from Texas, my sister home from her overseas sabbatical and sister-in-law, brother-in-law back, the eight, we're back together. It's great. But we were all just waiting and there's that moment where the neurosurgeon came out and said tumor had clean edges or clean, you know, clean borders, and we were able to remove it easily without damaging any of the healthy brain tissue around it. The motor strip or the sensory cortex, that was awesome news. But they also did pathology during the surgery and confirmed glioblastoma, So it was a high moment in the sense that the
Brad:surgery It went went as as well as it could have gone.
Monnica:And their ability to get that as much as possible out is the direct driver for how much time he has. But having that confirmation of glioblastoma, which is a terminal diagnosis, a tough moment for everybody. And there's the processing that everybody's going through of what that means, and facing it and the uncertainty that that presents, but there's also the logistics around care and that we're all working through together. So yeah. High and low moment.
Monnica:But the I'd say the high part of this week was the conversations that we've been able to have. I feel honored and also at times it's felt a little bit heavy that he has asked me to be his advocate. So I've been running point with the, you know, the charge nurse and the oncologist. And he records all the like, you recorded the neurosurgeon consult for me. Anyway, so I'm glad that that gives him comfort.
Monnica:That was a high for me. The the conversations he and I have had around, you know, what he's facing, what he's thinking about, how he should be thinking about it. And the fact that he, you know, is willing to have those conversations with me and feels comfort from them is huge for me. That was it's been such a meaningful, joyful thing. And it's my and it's my low too, if that makes sense.
Brad:That makes a lot of sense. I've been extremely impressed by Carl's approach to all of this. He's been a trooper, and specifically his gratitude, how much appreciation he's shown for the support that 's kind of just rallied around him, the family, the entire family just coming together. But, again, just so impressive to watch him handle this like a champ. I've had a couple of conversations with him as well.
Brad:But I
Monnica:was so grateful for by the way, that you went over there and had the conversations you had with him. Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt.
Brad:No. It's I I think it's he's having these conversations with everybody in the family, which is awesome to your point. Everybody's come together. Everybody's rallied around. Everybody's feeling the weight of this.
Brad:And what I what I appreciate about you and your siblings is everybody's in it together, just figuring out their way that they're gonna be able to contribute. And everybody's doing it. Yeah. This isn't, at a time whenever it could be even more stressful because of the unknown, the uncertainty. It could be likely that y'all snap on each other.
Brad:And and and many siblings, many families would would go that route, but everybody is just pulling together so well. And I know I watch it to see Carl respond to that, to see, how much it means to him is hugely important. And it's really what's buoying his optimism, his positive outlook at what's whatever's next. He knows the ramifications.
Monnica:Yeah.
Brad:But he is just marching along like, we're gonna we're gonna tackle this. And it's really cool to watch.
Monnica:Yeah. And to see him I mean, this is an extreme version, but there's things that happen that cause you to reflect and look back on your life and evaluate, you know, what your life has been. Of course, this is one of those times. And as he looks at looks back over his life and reviews his accomplishments, he's feeling these are my words, but what I've been able to gather is that he feels a tremendous amount of joy and accomplishment that he has the family that he has. He has the kids that he has, that they love each other the way they do, and that they love him the way that we all do.
Monnica:I mean, that's pretty there's, you know, there's people with gazillions of dollars, lots of money that don't have that. You can't buy that. And that is the real wealth and value of a life. And I think it's it's cool for him to be able to look back and feel proud of that.
Brad:If you're gonna leave a legacy, that's the legacy to leave.
Monnica:Mhmm. I have pretty cool siblings. I like them. I'll like 100% of them. The the the in laws too.
Monnica:I think of I think of us as eight, not four.
Brad:The Ocho.
Monnica:The Ocho. Every single everybody's married great people and they feel like as much my siblings as any of the others and I love them.
Brad:Yeah. And I think my low was probably watching you carrying a lot of the load. And I I don't wanna minimize. I'm not minimizing. In fact, may I restate that?
Brad:Every one of you, all four of you are carrying this load, but to watch you because I see how you are operating on a daily basis, the travel, the the pressures at work, the uncertainty, the the shifting of responsibilities amidst all this family stuff. It's a lot.
Monnica:It is. And, you know, it's one day at a time. I appreciate you saying that. I this week was definitely a big stretch for me. I would've it would've been great to just be home and to be around to help.
Monnica:My my siblings stepped in and we coordinated before I left and who was doing morning and who was doing evening, make sure the right meds got taken and all that stuff. Be there for my mom. So I knew it was covered. I knew you had the home front taken care of. They had him taken care of, but of course I would have preferred to be here, but I couldn't.
Monnica:I had a commitment that was really important. And I mean, I guess I could have canceled everything and stayed home, but I didn't need to because
Brad:it There was was no necessary.
Monnica:And then for me, it was, you know, sixteen plus hour days every day and not a lot of sleep. So it was definitely a challenging week, but it, I felt, I felt, I felt like I was where I needed to be, and I felt surrounded and supported. And so, that was physically very fatiguing and demanding. Mentally, I felt very focused though. And by the end of the week, it was actually kind of funny, we went out for dinner and I was signing the bill.
Brad:Oh, jeez.
Monnica:This just gives you an indication of how mentally tired I was. I'm usually pretty quick with math, actually. It's a strength, but not in
Brad:the moment. I usually at the end of the dinner, I'll hand you the check to do the math and assign.
Monnica:And I in my brain, 20% looked like 40%. So that lucky waiter got a 40% tip and it was only I signed it and I and then, you know, at the bottom they tell you what the math is. I usually don't look at that because I I mean, on. It's 20%. It's easy to calculate.
Monnica:But I looked at it and I saw 20 it started with 25%.
Brad:Oh, jeez.
Monnica:And I was like, wait, that's less than what I what did I do? Anyway, just an indication of how tired I was. But thank you. That's why this morning we needed to listen to an album, have some coffee, reconnect. I think getting aligned this morning's conversation was really important for me.
Monnica:So again, I'll reiterate, maybe that's my real high this week, having you as my partner.
Brad:I think we've identified we have more gaps in our communication because of your travel than we've ever had in twenty eight years. Yeah. And that makes it a little bit more difficult. But this morning felt like it was like, okay. We're okay.
Monnica:We're okay.
Brad:We needed that moment to realign.
Monnica:Yeah. Exactly.
Brad:Okay. Let's talk about this album, Collected. The album's been sitting around for a while. I don't even know when we picked
Monnica:it remember buying it, but we hadn't listened to it in a long time.
Brad:Yeah. Very November album. It was good.
Monnica:Yeah. Probably one of my I think my probably my favorite song on that album and maybe the most fitting song for this week too was Ramblin' Man. It's about moving forward even when you're tired of or you feel like you're carrying too much. And this week just reminded us of that over and over again.
Brad:Yeah. Like, life is not going to pause for us. I don't think we were in crisis this week. There was a lot going on, but it was more it felt like more of management. Management of the crisis.
Brad:We weren't also in calm. There was no calm
Monnica:There was some calm. Week. But the way you said the way you said this week, it sounded like we weren't in crisis this week. Were we in crisis a different week?
Brad:It often feels like life is crisis. I mean,
Monnica:Lately, it's been a lot.
Brad:It's been a lot. Yeah. But this week felt like kind of that in between, like, we knew what we were coming into. Yeah. And then this week was, like, the management of it.
Brad:A management of, of what we knew was gonna be a tough week. It was gonna be a lot. And we're on the other side of it now, and we're getting ready to move into Thanksgiving, which hopefully is gonna allow us to slow down even more.
Monnica:Yeah. And I don't think I realized how much I was holding until everything slowed down this weekend. I think that's often how it goes. It's like, just going back to the endurance racing. Do you remember I was trying to run that 100 mile race and
Brad:Yes. I remember.
Monnica:Yeah. You were there with Brad was pacing me, meant you were running a 100 miles too. But it was like mile 55, remember? Mhmm. And and I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna get down that hill because my my knee kinda gave out.
Monnica:And you're like, you're not. You're done. Your race is over. And it was like, and it it was, I I was slow to it was like mile 20 on that race. I know exactly where I was on Antelope Island.
Monnica:Something gave in my knee. And I just was super dumb and stubborn and like I'm finishing this no matter what. Just powered through for another 35 miles after that. And we went to go it was a there was a really technical downhill part and it was dark and I went to go down it and my knee gave out and I was like, crap. I don't know how I'm gonna get down this.
Monnica:And he said, no, you're not, you're done. And then, and then I there's no quitting. You have to walk out. And there was a five mile walk out. Mhmm.
Monnica:And as soon as I made that decision that this race is over and I'm done, And that five miles back, I remember just wanting to lie on the side of the trail and die. But but it's just when when the my point, I guess, in a kind of in a dramatic way, I'm making it, but is it once you're you kinda come out of that pain cave and you and you know, okay, it's time for a break. It's it's like the the weight of it all hits you all at once. And somehow in that moment, the way I felt about the 45 miles that were in front of me to finish the race, that didn't feel as heavy as once I made the decision to be done.
Brad:Oh, yeah.
Monnica:The five miles out
Brad:feels way harder.
Monnica:Walk back. Anyway,
Brad:Which is No. I I think it makes sense. I mean, because you're dealing with the pain of knowing you're done.
Monnica:Mhmm.
Brad:This thing that you set out to accomplish was no longer an option.
Monnica:No. It was just figure out how to get back to how to get back home.
Brad:Without hurting yourself.
Monnica:It's crazy how your mentality just affects your physical experience so much. Think about how different recovery from his surgery would be if he didn't have mentality he has.
Brad:Oh my gosh. Completely impressed and in awe sometimes. I mean, we've talked about this for years in terms of Carl. We've referred to this. He has a tenacity about him, a resilience about him that is it's it's really quite remarkable.
Brad:He is he is doing a great job. He's worked to create this mindset that protects the way that he thinks. It's gonna come
Monnica:in handy. To focus on. Yeah. You know what's also remarkable though to me is that in addition to that, he's also through it. I'm watching him grow and evolve and change.
Monnica:And what I'm thinking of when I say that, you know, I know because he told me, it's really hard for him to accept all the support and help and, in some ways like babying, like, hold on. You gotta don't you gotta take this medicine. No, you can't do this. No, you can't drive. The restrictions, but also the the support.
Monnica:The It's hard for him to accept the love and support and be the center of attention and all that. But at the same time, he's like choosing to embrace it to the point where, in fact, he and I were just talking this morning and he was reflecting on initially, he said he didn't wanna talk about it with anybody. He's like, don't even wanna see anybody before my surgery. I don't wanna talk about it.
Brad:Which I can understand that. It's like, I wanna hole up and just deal with this tragedy in my life by myself.
Monnica:Yeah. It's a natural response. And he was reflecting on how we were like, yeah, okay, no problem. Hey, but why don't you just come over and hang out? We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to.
Monnica:And then he was reflecting on how that night went. They came over and we just hung out, but he ended up just comfortably choosing to talk about all of it.
Brad:We lubed him up with a couple of glasses of wine.
Monnica:There. We did. That's weird how you said that. But yeah. Wow.
Monnica:Okay.
Brad:You had to go there.
Monnica:Oh, I just that sounded weird.
Brad:Social lubricant, Monica.
Monnica:I got it. But wow. Anyway, so we yeah. We had a glass of wine and but what's so funny is that he took so much comfort from having talked about it then. So to watch him go in the space of a week from I don't wanna talk about it to, hey, this feels really good to talk about.
Monnica:And then you got a little anxious with me because I was like, hey, I think And I know what I need to you were like, don't do it. But I did it anyway. So weird thing about me.
Brad:Very weird.
Monnica:Very weird. It's a little vulnerable to admit, but I
Brad:Have always enjoyed
Monnica:For a long time, for years now, if you go on YouTube, you can watch real video footage of brain tumor removal surgeries. And for years I've done this because I think it's so interesting and so satisfying to watch. Don't
Brad:know It's what it so weird.
Monnica:I know it's weird. But it came in really handy. I was like, hey. I've watched a lot of these actually on YouTube. I can tell you what's about to happen if you want.
Brad:All I saw was a train wreck about to happen. You're gonna scare this is the night before he's going into the hospital for brain surgery, and you're like, let me tell you what's about to happen.
Monnica:But he so I did. I walked him through it, and he was so grateful. He has told
Brad:He was.
Monnica:Everybody since then how normalizing it like that just made it so much better for him. And it just gave him so much comfort going into it. So I was glad that that was a little risky.
Brad:I was just worried about his mental state at the time. But I I totally afterwards, I came around, I saw that the awareness, just that little bit of certainty about what was gonna happen next, it it made a huge difference.
Monnica:I was really glad that that was the outcome. Yeah.
Brad:Me too.
Monnica:And that the risk wasn't, you know, it didn't go the other way. I was pretty confident that it was I don't know. I just I know him pretty well.
Brad:Normally, I'm like that.
Monnica:I'm like, I let's
Brad:give it to him. But I'm like, I felt felt for him.
Monnica:Of course. Glad it helped. But but so we've kinda taken that approach since. And so, you know, like the conversation this morning, he in the midst of all of this, he got a call this week, his brother just died.
Brad:So sad.
Monnica:And so we were able to talk through that. I guess what my takeaway from this stuff is that it's like, look, nobody gets out of this thing alive. Nobody's gonna have, you know, it's like Mike Tyson, he says, you know, everybody's got a plan until they get punched in the face. We're gonna take punches. We're gonna we're we're humans.
Monnica:We make mistakes. We go through stuff. And if we can just talk honestly and openly about it and give each other grace and honesty, like, I mean, obviously, there's some strategy involved about what you say and when you say it, but, like, we just be in it together. It's been hard stuff we've been dealing with, and doing it together makes a huge difference.
Brad:Yeah. I think this week has made us slow down at exactly the right time. We're about to enter into the long weekend, the holiday week, and all of these
Monnica:Keep going. I'll tell you why I'm laughing.
Brad:Okay. I just think it's the it kinda primes the opportunity to have really great time with the family.
Monnica:Yes. Okay. Here's why I was laughing. You said we're entering the long the holiday weekend. What are we doing on Friday of the day after Thanksgiving?
Brad:Working our asses off.
Monnica:We are finishing the demolition.
Brad:Getting another dumpster to finish the demo upstairs,
Monnica:which is
Brad:tearing down walls.
Monnica:So but honestly
Brad:old bathrooms, tubs Yep. Tile, showers.
Monnica:Insulation. Nasty insulation. That's a point of contention. He's giving me a look. We'll figure it out.
Monnica:Here's but but here's that's so funny. So a lot can be true at once. Yep. And rest and recovery doesn't necessarily have to mean doing nothing. Like to me, that day of just, I'm gonna put it put on some music, put on my safety glasses, and some some gloves, and take my crowbar, and I'm gonna work some stuff out on some drywall, man.
Monnica:Like, that to me, I'm gonna be bored to
Brad:private rage room.
Monnica:Yeah. Exactly. But, I mean, it it goes back to like, you can be grateful and overwhelmed at the same time. Leadership starts with honesty about what you're carrying. Support isn't necessarily solving everything.
Monnica:It might just be noticing. Hard weeks reveal what and who holds you together. And gratitude is often quiet. It's a breath. It's not necessarily a performance all the time, but sometimes it is.
Monnica:But I guess what I'm saying is lots of things can be true at once, and you figure out what works. And sometimes it's just riding the storm, and it's one day at a time.
Brad:Mhmm. Some weeks don't teach you lessons. They're gonna teach you your limits.
Monnica:Yeah.
Brad:Well, that's our week. The truth about our week.
Monnica:The raw truth about our week. So, you know, what would it feel like to tell someone the truth about your week?
Brad:That's the invitation.
Monnica:Yeah. So if this week felt heavy or strange or stretched or even amazing, you're in good company.
Brad:We're learning that slowing down isn't weakness. It's what keeps us human. Yeah.
Monnica:So wherever we are, wherever you are, I think if we can just take one honest breath, the kind that your body's been waiting for, can do us all a lot of good.
Brad:Yeah. And if all you can do this week is find a small rhythm underneath all the noise, that's probably enough.
Monnica:Yeah. That's enough. What do you want for Thanksgiving?
Brad:What do I want for Thanksgiving?
Monnica:Yeah. I'm not hosting this year, which by the way, is so good.
Brad:So have a weekend planned of demolition. So I know. But that's asking itself. What do
Monnica:you want for Thanksgiving for food is what I mean. Oh. That's all I was asking. Like, I'm not hosting, which is awesome, but the kids have demanded that I make the two dishes that they
Brad:What are those two dishes?
Monnica:They revolt if I don't make them.
Brad:Which is?
Monnica:My stuffing.
Brad:Stuffing.
Monnica:And your mom's corn casserole.
Brad:Scalloped corn?
Monnica:Yep.
Brad:Scalloped cream corn.
Monnica:I will only make that one time a year because it's disgusting, but so good.
Brad:It's very good.
Monnica:And so they demand that I make it. So I'm gonna make those two dishes. I'm asking what do you want? What do you want? Is there anything you want me to make?
Monnica:People will bring the traditional pies. I'm not that big a fan, honestly. But what if I made pineapple upside down cake?
Brad:I'm down.
Monnica:Okay. I'm gonna make those three things.
Brad:Alright. Well, now my my Thanksgiving is complete.
Monnica:Okay. I know that's your favorite.
Brad:I love it.
Monnica:But I usually only make it for your birthday. What if I make it for Thanksgiving?
Brad:That'd be great. I love it. Sweet. Now I have stuffing.
Monnica:Then your mom's corn scalloped corn.
Brad:A little bit of it.
Monnica:I know you only need a little bit, but, know, you like it.
Brad:I do. This transmission is going to oh, it's gonna air tomorrow. Here we are the day before recording for tomorrow. We're scrambling to keep up. We're gonna give it we're gonna get ahead next week, the holiday week, because we got this.
Brad:No problem. Okay. Well, I'm gonna stop it now. Good job.
Monnica:Bye.
Brad:Bye.
Monnica:We'll see you next week.
Brad:We'll see you next week.