The Worry Not Podcast

We live in an era of greater connectivity, but less connection; unlimited information, with little understanding; increased productivity, yet fewer hours for ourselves; and a social media that’s anything but social. How does everyone else seem to do it? How do they all have their shit together? Here’s the dirty little secret – they don’t! You’re not the only one.

As older millennials, life feels like it is accelerating – the days are long, but the years are short. Hosts Tim and Sim delve deep into the conversations that usually only happen at the end of the night. Unpacking some hard truths, and some reassuring ones, about allowing yourself to just exist in this crazy world we’re living in.

What is The Worry Not Podcast?

Introducing the Worry Not Podcast. Your out-loud forum for what's on the mind of most older millennials. We're cracking open the honest box (and a drink or two) and having the conversations we wish we had with a healthy dose of helpfulness and hilarity. From your 30's and beyond life can get a hell of a lot more complicated, so we're here to show that worry not - it's not just you, sometimes we all need a little deep and meaningful to nudge us in the right direction.

Intro:

You think it's just you, that you are all alone. But worry not,

Tim:

Welcome to the very first episode of the worry not podcast. I'm Tim.

Sim:

And I'm Sim. Easy to remember.

Tim:

Very easy indeed. I'm somewhere in the middle age bracket of 35 to 45 with two kids.

Sim:

I'm 36.

Tim:

Okay. Fine. I'm 40.

Sim:

With two kids. Snap.

Tim:

And look. We are in an age bracket where we wanna uncover some really interesting truths, untruths to get people talking more about what is actually real in their life.

Sim:

Yes. There's lots of different things going on at this time, but they're all very important. I And think that's what makes this time of our life interesting, but also terrifying.

Tim:

Absolutely. Yeah. It's peeling back that facade Mhmm. That we all seem to want to live our lives by.

Sim:

Yeah. And having the conversations that we have in private. Yep. Encouraging people to have them as openly as possible because there are some people that just don't have that friend.

Tim:

There are some people that don't have that friend, and there are some people that think that they are just completely in isolation as to what they're going through. Yep. And the reality is worry not because that is not the case. Yeah. There are many other people that are feeling the exact same thing.

Tim:

And particularly in that age bracket of 35 to 45 because this is a huge period of change.

Sim:

Yeah. That's it. It's massive.

Tim:

No matter whether you call yourself a millennial, Gen Z, boomer I mean, obviously, the Gen Zs aren't there yet, but no matter what you would label, people will still go through this period of being 35 to 45

Sim:

Yeah.

Tim:

Where you take on extra stresses in your life, most likely as a result of kids getting older, jobs get more stressful, you may start a business, you may buy a house, whatever it might be.

Sim:

Yeah. You're doing something.

Tim:

And it's also at this point that I think you start to sit back and go, can we not be more real about what we're going through rather than putting up a facade in terms of the lives that we lead?

Sim:

Yeah. What I love about being this age and this point in our life is that we're coming up for air, and we're looking back on the version of ourselves that we have been and looking more towards the version of ourselves we want to be. And so I don't think before now you have experienced enough to be at that point in your life.

Tim:

Yep. Just happens. Yeah. Just get on a treadmill, start running, but you don't know where you're running to.

Sim:

You're reactive. Yeah. Whereas I think this is point in your life where you're in the driver's seat and the decisions you make now are the ones that will affect you and your family or the people in your lives for the next couple of years. And so Yep. You know, there's a lot of responsibility.

Tim:

It's scary.

Sim:

Yeah. Absolutely. When you're in a family environment, if you have had kids by this point, you're now in charge of these little people as well and their upbringing. Or if you've taken a huge financial commitment by taking out a mortgage or something like that. There's a lot of big things going on at this time in our life.

Sim:

And it's not necessarily explored that much. I think we go through it without a lot of examples of well, there's no real examples of the right way because we can't copy what our parents did. They lived in a completely different

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

Economic world and family situations were super different for our parents. So we're the guinea pigs. And I think that this podcast is just a platform to try and help give some clarity.

Tim:

Well, I think the biggest thing about it is that, as we've called it, the worry not podcast, is that to your point, people become very self aware, and they can actually understand what changes we're now going through. So, yes, there are much more stresses that are happening, but because of experience, they're no longer on that treadmill. All of a sudden, there is like a, okay. What do we actually have to do here? And then am I the only one that's going through this?

Tim:

Am I the only one that is drinking every night as a result of of the stresses of modern day life? Am I the only one that is struggling with finances because all my friends seem to be out there just doing whatever they want whenever? There are all these worries that I think people have, and I think we're here to say worry not because we're all going through a very stressful period. And the reality is that somebody else is going to have experienced what you're experiencing. The fact is they're just not saying it that much.

Tim:

And so you only get this when you go down to the pub or the bar and you have a chat with your friends. That's where the goodness comes out. But a lot of the time, people put a guard up, and they don't wanna talk about it.

Sim:

Do you think that's part of being this age is this is the first time that we're all of a sudden sort of without safety rails?

Tim:

Because we're big people.

Sim:

Yeah. Because we're all grown up, and we're supposed to know what we're doing by now, but we actually don't. So before now, you've got so much support. I mean, when you're in high school and uni and you've got all this career advice and support and, you know, we're winding the key winding the key. And this is the time of our lives where we are so completely on our own.

Sim:

And it's interesting that the only support we seem to find is within each other, within our friendships. There's not a huge amount of direction or guidance from anywhere else.

Tim:

Do you know that I would come back to the point of the treadmill? And I think about myself personally. Even up to 32, I don't think that I ever actually worried or thought about stuff. You just did it. You just experienced life.

Tim:

You know, I was lucky. I lived overseas. I experienced all that. And I would argue against the point of, like, independence. I had a lot of independence, especially when I lived overseas.

Tim:

I had a support network from family that lived there, but I never really spoke to them. And I kinda like the fact that I didn't I had to do it all myself. So I don't know if it's about independence as much as it's about not thinking about it until all of a sudden you reach this period and you've got kids, you've got greater responsibility. And I'm not saying it's also about just having kids because there are lots of people that don't have kids that go through these stresses in this period as well. I think that you nailed it in the fact that we just start to almost slow down, step back, and realize where we are.

Tim:

We've just been running the whole time, and you sort of sprint your way into your thirties. And all of a sudden, you go, shit. Like, I'm here now. What the hell am I actually doing? Yeah.

Tim:

And then you also start to wonder, hold on a sec. Everything's really hard now, but it just to be me going through it because nobody else worries about it. No one says anything to me. We don't

Intro:

talk about it.

Tim:

We don't talk about it. I sit here, and I think I'm the only one with a massive credit card bill, or I'm the only one that does x y z. Nobody else does it. Yeah. It's a realization standpoint that you hit during these these years of thirty five to 45 with added pressures of large scale problems Yeah.

Tim:

Than you probably had to deal with before. And I'm not taking that away from people that were young and bought investment properties and all that kind of stuff. But I think when you're younger, you got many years ahead of you. Mhmm. You know, still everything is fairly limitless in that point.

Sim:

Yeah. That's it. For me Yep. So there's a four year gap between us.

Tim:

Yeah.

Sim:

And I'm a renter Yep. Not a mortgage owner. Yep. I've got two kids. I'm a small business owner.

Sim:

So I'm still so deep in the rat race that I will admit that I don't come up for air as often as I should.

Tim:

Mhmm.

Sim:

And I think for me, that's part of what I love about what we're doing in this conversation that we're having Yep. Is, you know, what would you do if you could go back and have just caught your breath a little bit earlier? Do you think you would be in a different position now?

Tim:

No. No? No. Because I think it's all about if you do that, then you overthink and you don't have the experiences that you should be having, I think. And I would argue that I probably didn't experience even enough prior.

Tim:

Because, again, that's the thing. Right? It's almost like a settling down transition that you go to. Even if you get married at 28, something like that. It's a life stage where you hit that mid thirties mark.

Tim:

And, again, for context, I turned 40 recently, which was a big milestone that affects you. But I think that when you reach that 35 mark, you realize now that you are needing to be responsible. You need to basically say, you know, I've gotta grow up. I've gotta take on all these different things. And even if you don't have that much in your life in terms of stresses, there is still this clock that is ticking that is not going to slow down and will not reverse.

Tim:

And I think that's probably another reason why people have added stressors because if you then want to change what you're doing, you have such a finite amount of time left. I know that sounds crazy, right, even if you're 35. Yeah. But, like, to have major scale changes No. I understand.

Tim:

Always have them. Yeah. But it's more the notion that there is a finite amount of time. When you're in your late teens, your early twenties, and then even through throughout your twenties Yeah. There is no concept of a clock.

Tim:

It's just like, will be young forever.

Sim:

Yeah. And your early thirties as well.

Tim:

And your early thirties as well. Yeah. For sure. You don't realize that this is actually gonna be a thing that will affect you. Yeah.

Tim:

That's And why I think that then you just have this all of a sudden. It's like, oh my god. Mhmm. Like and I started thinking about it at 30. I was like, oh, maybe I should start being serious.

Tim:

But, again, didn't really clock until probably that mid thirties when stuff just gets real.

Sim:

Yeah. And that's what I mean, though, about using this time as effectively as possible. You know, I know a lot of people that may have stayed in the job Yeah. And they're not necessarily advancing.

Tim:

Mhmm.

Sim:

They're just clocking up the years experience, you know, but they're not actually learning anything new. Yeah. Whereas having that epiphany at this time, having conversations now Yeah. Can change what's coming in the next couple of years, can change, you know, what you're putting your time that you have left of it. As I've said.

Sim:

Hopefully, plenty of into something that actually gives back to you. And I think for me, that's what's so motivating right now. Yeah. Is for me, it's not just about making sure that I'm ticking boxes, but that I'm ticking them well. Yeah.

Sim:

And so I would say that as I haven't got a mortgage yet and I haven't got, you know, the dog and I haven't got all this, that, and the other, I've still got a lot of boxes to tick. Yeah. But I'm already evaluating.

Tim:

But hold on. Why do you wanna tick a box of having a mortgage or a dog?

Sim:

Yeah. Legacy.

Tim:

What do mean by that?

Sim:

I think legacy is something that comes into your thought process at this age as well.

Tim:

Legacy for your kids, for stuff like that?

Sim:

Legacy for your existence.

Tim:

Right.

Sim:

I get I guess that gets a bit deep. But

Tim:

I like it.

Sim:

For example, the only legacy of me right now is my children, which is an amazing legacy Yeah. Because my two kids have a lot of my qualities. Trust me. They'll be reminding people about Simone Morgan for a long time.

Tim:

Yeah.

Sim:

Especially the the chatterbox. But other than that, I don't exist.

Tim:

That's a very harsh thing to say about yourself. Other than your kids, you don't exist just because you don't have a property. See, I think a legacy is who you touch, who you impact. The legacy is what you leave behind of who people remember you by. They wouldn't remember your house.

Sim:

No. That's true. But I guess I wanna leave a physical mark in the world, a physical scratch in the dirt Yep. That shows I was here. You know?

Sim:

Like the old concrete I w a zed was here. Yeah. Good. You know? And I think that's for me is a big motivator at this time in my life because up until now, it's it's been input, input, input, learn, learn, learn.

Sim:

Now I'm ready to output. I want to leave a mark. I want to have a space on this planet that I am leaving Yep. Because I'm going into that next unknown chapter of life of, like, I don't know what the next, you know, forty years looks like. I hope they're worth something.

Sim:

Yeah. You know? Yeah. You only get one shot. So definitely, I think as a living breathing person, you're always gonna leave an impact on people.

Sim:

But, yeah, I guess for me, it's about how big of a circle that impact is. I wanna leave a big impact. And it's not just about having a property. I mean so much more than that. That's just a basic need that I would like to fulfill.

Sim:

But beyond that, I want to and it's part of the reason that I'm doing this podcast. I want to give an outward thing into the world because up until now, I've just been taking. You know? And that's that's an important thing for me.

Tim:

Do you think everybody wants to create this legacy you're talking about?

Sim:

No. I definitely think that there's personality types. Yep. And I think that it's like the spectrum of happiness. Yep.

Sim:

I think that I put myself on a more difficult spectrum of happiness Yep. Because I have these idealisms.

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

There are a 100% people who are so incredibly satisfied, and I'm envious of their satisfaction in life.

Tim:

Yep. What would those people be like, though?

Sim:

Well, I was gonna say, do I do I admit that, yeah, they probably have a mortgage. They probably have a husband. They probably have a kid. You know, they probably have a few of those big stereotypical boxes ticked. Yeah.

Sim:

And they're like, cool. Sweet. Done. You know? On I go.

Sim:

And I think that's amazing.

Tim:

That's a big that's also excited for them. That's a big assumption to make. That's exactly what we're talking about. Yes. Where you sit there and you worry and you think about you assume that somebody else has it better than you Yeah.

Tim:

Is all sorted.

Sim:

Yeah. Graspers screened. Satisfied.

Tim:

Yeah. I guess that's actually I mean, I think that's the crux of why we're doing this as well because people people at this age are doing exactly what we're talking about. Yeah. They reach this they reach this level of self awareness, whatever you wanna call it, and they now look back and then start saying, hold on a sec. Yeah.

Tim:

What do I have? Do I have everything I need? Yeah. Why does that person have more? Maybe they don't even have more, but I think they have more.

Sim:

Yeah. Well, that's what I want to encourage the conversation because I am thinking of names in my head right now of people that I look to as they've ticked those boxes and they seem really happy. Yeah. But like you said, I have no idea if they actually are because we only have these conversations in such intimate scenarios.

Tim:

About actually what is going on. The truth.

Sim:

Yeah. Yeah. And this podcast is not intimate. It's public. And so I'm excited to get people talking to reveal the truth.

Sim:

And that's why I'm so happy to, you know, explain my particular desires

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

And my motivators in the hopes that when I think of these people and the next time I chat to them, you know, I have a way or we have a way to open up that conversation. I can find out because I have been looking over the fence. You know, I do look at them and I just go, oh, you know, they seem so satisfied, but I don't know. So I'm definitely somebody who's I'm 36, and I don't feel satisfied with what I've achieved at 36. Yeah.

Sim:

And for me, I scrunch that into a ball of motivation.

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

I that's my motivation. I get up every morning, and I'm just like, cool. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?

Tim:

You're hungry?

Sim:

Yeah. But that affects my happiness scale. So I can be

Tim:

You can make yourself more unhappy

Sim:

Yeah. Well, absolutely.

Tim:

That way.

Sim:

I definitely get warned about there's a particular name for it, but it's essentially where you're chasing after the next goal. You're chasing after the next goal. I fall into that trap.

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

I choose that trap. Yep. Because I'm like, well, wherever I'm gonna end up on that journey, at least I will have I get it I get an a plus for effort.

Tim:

Yeah.

Sim:

So that's you know, I might not be able to tick all the boxes, but I will know that I tried to tick the boxes that I was aiming for.

Tim:

Mhmm.

Sim:

And these are thoughts that I never had until now. Until I hit this period of my life where I went, where am I? What does the future look like? How much time have I got for this? You know?

Sim:

And I'm making plans. Yep. So, you know, yeah, some of those plans include having a physical legacy, something that I leave on this earth. You know? That's why I have my businesses and things like that.

Sim:

At least that's something, although everything I touch is digital Yep. Can be erased in the click of a button. But maybe that's the future.

Tim:

So can a property, the bank can repossess it, and then it's like you were never there.

Sim:

That is true. That is true. See, this is all the things. That's just fantasy to me. I don't understand any of that yet.

Tim:

Well, there's nothing wrong with, I think, having that. And I think the other thing that you said to me prior to this conversation was the Instagram nature of or comparing what we're talking about right now

Sim:

Yep.

Tim:

To what happens on Instagram. You see a window into someone's life Yep. And you think, god. They've got it good.

Sim:

Mhmm.

Tim:

But at least they've nailed it. Like, look how happy they are. Yeah. But then you realize, and this is widely talked about and documented that most of the people actually are very unhappy. Mhmm.

Tim:

And then, again, to achieve that happiness, they've also if you're say you're an influencer.

Sim:

Mhmm.

Tim:

I know you know about much more about this space than I do. But if you're an influencer, you're having to be out there Yeah. Like, the time, multiple times a day. Yep. Every day.

Tim:

Yep. Creating content. Like, you don't even have your own life anymore because it's like you've had to open a window, but it's a very restricted window.

Sim:

100%. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Instagram, digital keyholes

Tim:

are Keyholes.

Sim:

That's a

Tim:

good one.

Sim:

Yeah. Digital keyholes are dangerous. They're murderous, actually. You know, if you think about the amount of children that are negatively influenced by

Tim:

It's terrible.

Sim:

Showreels that they see, but no different to adults. We're giant children.

Tim:

We

Sim:

are. We emotionally react to something when our logical brain tells us, you know, it's just a showreel. You know that that person's life is not as good as it looks, but you get off Instagram and you still feel like shit. Or for me yeah. Again, for me, it's that I don't necessarily get jealous of people's lives and the things that they have and the have nots.

Sim:

Like, sure. If someone's in, you know, Bora Bora or something. Sure. But for me, I actually get affected by the business side of Instagram. It's all of those constant that feeds back into my need to achieve.

Tim:

What do you mean by that when you see other companies doing well?

Sim:

Yes. Absolutely. And for me, I'm like, oh, get off socials Yeah. And start

Tim:

Well

Sim:

being productive.

Tim:

LinkedIn is the worst for that as well. As everybody probably knows is that LinkedIn is full of people making themselves seem about a thousand times more important than they actually are.

Sim:

If I hear another post about 7 figures, let's earn 7 figures, blah blah blah blah blah, it's like

Tim:

You know I love I love those posts at the moment where people go, oh, I just wanted to reflect on this. I just walked past a person in the park, and it made me think about the relationship with management. And what does that mean? You're in a park, and that represents the organization. And you're the manager is the one they're standing there, and they're feeling so ice.

Tim:

I'm like, shut up. Like, that stuff is so full of it. You were just Yeah. Desperate to get attention. We relate these bullshit stories.

Tim:

So, I mean, I feel like this is gonna be a candid podcast or whatever. Yeah. But you just relate all this stuff just to get you seen. Mhmm. But I think that this is exactly then what ripples out and then what coming back to why we're doing what we're doing because Yeah.

Tim:

There's a much bigger invisible Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, whatever it is

Sim:

Yeah.

Tim:

That people are creating just by seeing someone driving to school and they're driving a range. Yeah. And you're like, god. They must have it. They must be earning so much more money than me.

Tim:

They must be so happy. That person could be desperately unhappy Yeah. Because they have to work so hard. They never see their kids, and that's the only time they gotta do it. And it's actually more of an inconvenience because they have to get to the office, and they're just trying to drop the kids quickly and go.

Sim:

Yep. Absolutely.

Tim:

So it's all about this worry not.

Sim:

Yes. Yeah. That's it. I mean, life is not perfection by a long shot. You know, you often see celebrities that have mental health issues and and things like that.

Sim:

Maybe it's part of the human condition. Yeah. You know, we were hunted by creatures, and now I feel like, you know, we hunt ourselves. We still very much have a lizard brain for a reason.

Tim:

Yeah.

Sim:

And I think our modern lives doesn't know what to do with that part of our brain.

Tim:

So we create

Sim:

things, and it's just as dangerous. Absolutely. It can really truly end lives if people don't understand that it's not all perfect out there. And that if people realize that they're not alone

Tim:

Yeah.

Sim:

Then that makes such a difference because I just don't think we were built for this. We weren't built for Instagram. We weren't built for No. Looking at everybody's lives through a lens.

Tim:

I mean and that's chasing the cheap dopamine. You know? It's playing on how we're built and how we're constructed. But I think that absolutely, like, the real side of human life is what many people would term ugly. Like, it's not a Yeah.

Tim:

It's not an episode of Suits or Billions, is one of my favorite shows, where everything happens like that. You know, you only see, like, the really interesting parts of the meetings. Well, what about the other eight hours that someone sits doing a document in the office? They don't film that, do that? No.

Tim:

Because that's not exciting. But the reality is that life is much more sitting for eight hours writing a document than it is going into a meeting and then not even saying goodbye to someone just leaving because it's dramatic effect.

Sim:

Yeah. That's it.

Tim:

Like, we're done.

Sim:

Suit

Tim:

people out there. They'll know what I'm talking about.

Sim:

Worry will kill you.

Tim:

It will kill you.

Sim:

Worry will kill you. Worry will kill other people. We have really important relationships in our life at this time as well. We have partners, spouses.

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

We have adult family members, brothers, sisters, siblings. We have parents who we, you know, may now take a caring role for.

Tim:

Mhmm.

Sim:

So that includes not just their physical health, but it means their mental health too. Like, the we're on an equal footing

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

With parents now and children, our children. So

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

You know, I I think this concept of worrying what other people are doing, we need to address it. Yes. We need to talk about it. We need to open up a conversation because it is the one great thing that we've got out of social media

Tim:

Yeah.

Sim:

Is how toxic it can be.

Tim:

I was gonna say connection as well, but

Sim:

yeah. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

Sim:

Connection

Tim:

And ruining everything else.

Sim:

Yeah. But just like yeah. We know we you have to know that the plants are fake. Like, you have to know that it's it's not real. But what we the muscle we need to work on is convincing ourselves that it's not real and reminding ourselves and, you know

Tim:

Is that just because we're wired? Because we actually just like, why do you think that we assume that everything is always greener on the other side?

Sim:

Well, as a marketer

Tim:

Yes.

Sim:

I have to say that advertising has a huge part to play. Absolutely. I mean, think about your traditional retros 50 advertising. Yeah. Everything's hunky dory.

Sim:

Yep. Everything's perfect. Yep. We're a TV generation. We grew up on ads.

Tim:

Yeah.

Sim:

You know? Everything that's been shown to us has been sold to us.

Tim:

The fact that they even had shows, you know, hosted by Cameron Datto, I love those ones where it's about their ads. Yeah. Because there's actually some creative genius, but it's actually trying to sell us something.

Sim:

Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. Every single thing is a pitch. It's all being pitched to us.

Sim:

Yep. I can go on for hours about this. We'll talk about this in another episode about of our advertising and what they're doing and how it's affecting us. But we we know no different. We have, like, the very first lens Yep.

Sim:

Before Instagram, before all of that was the TV lens, was the glass of the TV.

Tim:

Black Mirror. You know,

Sim:

what we were being shown is not real, but it was pictured as real. Imagine this is real and watch it enough times and you'll start to think. Yeah. And that's fine because we opt in Yep. To that.

Sim:

But it has affected us, and we need like, the difference with having a deep and meaningful conversation with a friend Yep. Is that you know that there's no filter. You know that there's no glass in between you. You are a 100% just two souls bearing it

Tim:

all. Yeah.

Sim:

And that's why that feels so much more restorative

Tim:

Yeah.

Sim:

Than anything we experience online.

Tim:

As long as you have the the right close friends, you can be. Because I think the only person I mean, arguably, like, who is that person that you can be your one true self with? Because I don't think I think that's bullshit that it's your wife or your husband or even your family. Because I think people always hold stuff back no matter what. Stuff happens, and you wanna keep stuff to you.

Tim:

And, also, that's

Sim:

Yeah.

Tim:

Part of the fun of it. You have your own stuff that, you know, you don't have to share out. And then I guess maybe your psychologist is the one you can be open and honest with because till they

Sim:

call the police.

Tim:

Till they call the police. But if you can be that's probably the one place that you feel like you can say because they're trying to get you to say. But I think that in life, it's why it's important to have those people that you can open up with. And, again, because everyone's still gonna be guarded. That's the whole point is that everyone is still gonna have some level of facade up because they don't want you to walk through the door and see the dirty washing thrown on the floor or whatever it is.

Tim:

They just want you to see the beautifully manicured front garden. Yeah. And so I think that's down to each of us, though. You'll have more open people than you will others, but it's about and I think, again, why we're doing this is to say to people that the reality is what you're going through now, other people will be feeling the same way. Mhmm.

Tim:

And there is nothing wrong with you actually talking about that Yeah. To one another so that you don't have to sit there in a state of worry thinking that it's just me.

Sim:

Or a state of pretend.

Tim:

A state of pretend. Like, I mean, this stuff just happens. It's life.

Sim:

Yeah. As I said, life

Tim:

is ugly. It's beautiful. It's challenging. It's everything else in between, and there's nothing wrong

Sim:

with that. Yeah. As a again, we, you know, we love getting deep, and we're only I'm only one drinking.

Tim:

I've had a little bit more than one, but, I mean, it doesn't say I talk about this. Normally, I have a glass of water, and it set me off.

Sim:

So Exactly. Right. We are the wrong people to to have a drink with. But Yes. For me, as a human species, we're meant to live in groups.

Tim:

Yeah.

Sim:

And I think that part of that is we reveal different versions of ourselves to different people in the group. Yep. You know? So I have I just recently caught up with some high school friends.

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

Now they we're talking twenty years ago. Well, you know, twenty years ago is when I graduated.

Tim:

So Do you see them regularly, or is this the first one?

Sim:

This is this my Melbourne life has almost no penetration in my Sydney life whatsoever.

Tim:

You keep it very solid.

Sim:

We're just it happened that way. I left, you know, and I didn't bring any of that life with me.

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

And so it was really fun hanging out with these people because that little part of me came back again. I changed how I talked. I changed. Yep. You know?

Sim:

And it was brilliant.

Tim:

As in going back to what you were?

Sim:

Back to what I was. And although I would call myself an evolved version of what I was back then, it was nice to have a person to be not to say that I'm not being genuine in my every, like, everyday Sydney life, but there's still a little part of me that will always be that Yeah. Country bogan who's just looking to

Tim:

I've never thought that about you, by the way.

Sim:

Exactly. Because you've only met my Sydney self. I'm not drinking Jim Beam White right now.

Tim:

I drunk I was what were talking about that before?

Sim:

I know. Because I'm trying

Tim:

uni day thing.

Sim:

I'm trying to entice people to join my bogan life with me. No. No. No.

Tim:

We'll do that next time.

Sim:

Yeah. Maybe. See. We'll see how I

Tim:

end up talking about podcast. We try.

Sim:

Yeah. But it was just I definitely experienced that being with these people brought out a different version of me.

Tim:

Right.

Sim:

And I think

Tim:

version? A real version? Or a because I was gonna ask, was there a lot of measuring up? Was there a lot of this is what I've achieved since we last met? Do you know when you go you know, the whole thing you go to a high school reunion that's like, look how amazing I am now compared to what I was before?

Sim:

A high school reunion, I don't think you can put in the same scenario as catching up with old friends. Yeah. Because a high school reunion is the social media of reunions. Its purpose is to flex muscles and Absolutely. You know, gossip and connect and all this that and the other.

Sim:

Whereas, no, there was definitely a an an old, unevolved version of me Mhmm. That was able to just relax.

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

I don't know. I I don't know how people who have grown up in the area that there are that they are now

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

If they have that feeling or not. Yep. Because I can only speak from my experience.

Tim:

Mhmm.

Sim:

But I got to hang out with people who have seen me at a very young age. Like, where I grew up, you went to kindergarten, primary school, high school. A bunch of them got married to each other. Like, it was really a small community.

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

And so you had you didn't get a chance to, like, not reveal yourself.

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

Because even by the fifth grade, if you ever had a tantrum Yeah. On the playground or something like that, everybody's seen it. And and these are the people that you then go into your twenties with. They're like, hey. Do you remember, you know, in second grade when you blah blah blah blah.

Tim:

So you You just said you're having tantrums in your fifth grade?

Sim:

Oh, I don't know. I'm trying remember

Tim:

old as Natasha. I'm trying

Sim:

to remember things. Like, I'm just you know, like, you just remember things. No judgement. Yeah. Exactly.

Sim:

Yeah. I'm a I'm a girl. Aren't we allowed to? No. I shouldn't say that.

Tim:

Hank, that's that's gonna be a tough.

Sim:

I mean,

Tim:

you just made a massive gender I

Sim:

know. Stereotypical. No. But I think this is the thing. Different people serve different purposes.

Sim:

Yeah. And I think part of being in this time, this time of reflection is why we cut Yep. So many people out of our lives and why we hold on closer to a couple, a handful of individuals. Yeah. Because we feel that this is that purpose.

Sim:

This is that this is what me and that person have, and I love it. Yeah. And I want more of it. Yeah. And I want less of that.

Sim:

Yep. A less of that shit. Yep. You know, which again makes such a difference from ten years ago.

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

Ten years ago, was about keeping everybody happy. Happy, happy, happy, everyone. You don't say, you know, you don't rock the boat or, you know, maybe the boat's being rocked every other weekend because people are you know? But now you pick your battles. Yep.

Sim:

You pick your people, and you get more out of it from that. Now your spouse, I think, plays a really important role. And, again, this is probably something that we'll get into it in a later episode.

Tim:

Yeah.

Sim:

But my favorite thing about a spouse Yep. And this is coming from somebody who's, yeah, been with her partner for nearly twenty years.

Tim:

Yeah.

Sim:

Crazy. It's a long

Tim:

time.

Sim:

Seventeen years.

Tim:

Well done. I know. Right? It's fantastic.

Sim:

We've been through we've been through

Tim:

You've been through a lot of changes.

Sim:

We've been through growing up together, and you can argue whether that's good or bad. But, anyway, separate episode.

Tim:

Yeah. Yeah.

Sim:

My favorite thing about a spouse is they have seen you at your ugliest because you can't keep your guard up all the time.

Tim:

Exactly.

Sim:

You can't

Tim:

Nor should you have to.

Sim:

No. There's but, like, I like when I say your guard, I even mean your best behavior. We can't be on our best behavior all the time. Like, when you are in a relationship with someone, there's a good probability that they're gonna be there on the day that you are the worst version of yourself. Yeah.

Sim:

It might not be their fault. It might not have anything to do with them. Yeah. Because they're your partner, there's a good chance that they're there. And to have a person on the planet who saw you like that and still accepts you because they're like, oh, no.

Sim:

That's that's a that's a percentage of you. That's one face of you. That's not you as a complete being.

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

I think that is just what makes relationships so special.

Tim:

Yep. Agreed.

Sim:

And the same with friendships. Same friendships, the friends that you've been with when you've been through absolute shit or whether it's length of time, so you've changed heaps or, you know, that's why I think we're not satisfied unless we're in a group environment. We need different people who give us

Tim:

different role within the group.

Sim:

Yeah. And we and we react differently.

Tim:

Things from yeah.

Sim:

Yeah. Absolutely. That's why I I think makes us so complicated, which is why when you take life and you make it two d, I e, Instagram Yep. Or any sort

Tim:

of Yep.

Sim:

Advertising screen version of life, you don't get all of that complexity. Yeah. Missing. All the nuance, all of the yeah. Sure.

Sim:

She's a dick, but she's not always a dick. Yeah.

Tim:

Life is life is tender. Yeah. Something like that is Absolutely. Infinity.

Sim:

Yeah. Absolutely.

Tim:

There are so many different yeah. I mean, like, embrace the ugliness. That's what I'm kinda saying.

Sim:

Yeah. Just It's just a percentage of it. It's not all the time.

Tim:

Exactly. But it's the real side. Yeah. It's like just embrace who you are as opposed to having to be somebody else the entire time. Yeah.

Tim:

It's like you think about that. Right? Ego and everything else. This is what really shits me when it comes to even, like, this is the corporate world as well,

Sim:

which

Tim:

I'm not in anymore. But from a corporate world, there is so much of that that just gets put on. Because that's like, you know, just dial it up to the next level. You walk into an office, and you become a completely different person.

Sim:

Yep.

Tim:

And that's a really sad thing as well. But this is we are constantly struggling with this. We're constantly going around putting our Instagram filter Mhmm. Depending on what part of life or what context of life Yeah. That we're in.

Tim:

Are we

Sim:

two d or are we three d?

Tim:

Yeah. And, look, I get it. I understand why a politician isn't gonna go out there and be their real selves because the public are also really nasty at the same point. You have to deal with that. No matter, you know, no matter what you think of politicians, I don't have the highest regard for politicians, but I'm I think that they have it's a difficult role to play.

Tim:

Like, yes, you have to be a certain type of person because you have to you have to just get all this feedback coming at you, negative comments the whole time, and push on. Yeah. That's not an easy thing. So you can understand why they

Sim:

put up. A particular goal.

Tim:

Yeah. But I think that the politicians and the leaders and whoever else that do show you an element, even if it's that it's a little maybe it's a keyhole into their own real world. Those are the ones that you get people connecting to because it's like, wow. You are a real person. You're not this, you know, statue that can just endure, I don't know, however many thousands of negative comments and all the rest of it.

Tim:

You are a person underneath that. Yeah. You're real.

Sim:

And we love that. We love when we feel that we connect Yeah. With somebody on a more genuine level. But I do have to defend social media and defend advertising and marketing and all this, that, and the other because it is still there for a purpose Yeah. Of entertainment.

Tim:

Yeah.

Sim:

And, you know, do we let me pitch you a scenario.

Tim:

Okay. I'm ready.

Sim:

Would you go onto a Facebook Live or an Instagram Live that was just people in a shopping center? Or would you watch something that's probably been curated?

Tim:

You're more likely to watch the curation because back to my point on, you know, the billions or the whatever move suits. I was suits is just the best example of it because Yep. Lawyers and I have asked my lawyer this, and he's like, my god. That's just not what happens at all. But that is the it's the best example because yeah.

Tim:

What would I rather watch someone in a shop who's just about to buy something they're so excited about, etcetera, just the most of people walking around the food court? I mean, you know straight away. I mean, there is an element okay. No. I'm gonna go too deep into that.

Sim:

But Go.

Tim:

Go. No. No. No. No.

Tim:

Shallow no. The the quick answer and the real like, to what you're saying is that you want to watch something that's curated because we also have such a terrible attention span. That's a whole another topic as well.

Sim:

That's it. Well, it's sort of a result,

Tim:

isn't it?

Sim:

We're trained.

Tim:

We're trained to just take in the really fake excitement Yeah. Of life and not push through the hard stuff, not push through the eight hours of paperwork that you're sitting at your desk doing.

Sim:

Yeah. That's computer. That's why I think social media definitely could improve. Like, I think that all people could be a little bit more genuine Yep. On social media.

Sim:

I'm talking people with 18 followers all the way through to, you know, your influences. Yep. Everybody as a human society, we could all be a little bit more genuine, but it's not necessarily the place. I think it comes back to the people we have in our lives.

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

And being genuine in a situation where you feel comfortable being genuine and having those conversations, which is exactly what we're trying

Tim:

to do. And look. And that's what we will explore over, hopefully, many seasons of the show. Don't wanna get ahead of myself. But I think that there are many different topics that you can relate back to this exact thing that we're talking about Yeah.

Tim:

Which is how do you be more real? How do you just really understand that everybody is in a very similar boat to you? They're experiencing the same things that you are, and there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. And the more you talk about it, the more you realize that you're not alone.

Sim:

Yeah. It's a muscle. It's a muscle that you need to remind yourself. It's a conversation that you need to have more than once. Yep.

Sim:

You can't just ask somebody once

Tim:

Yep. You know, what their situation's like because it always changes.

Sim:

Yep. And it changes depending on who you're talking to. So I think the most important thing is just training that part of our brain

Tim:

to Absolutely.

Sim:

See reality versus what we're fed. Yep. You know? And choose to be more genuine

Tim:

Yeah. You

Sim:

know, in a in an environment that we feel comfortable and safe in, which for you and me is publicly. Exactly. A podcast.

Tim:

I'm happy to keep going.

Sim:

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah.

Tim:

Alright. Well, I look forward to I look forward to the the there's so many we I know we sat down. We planned it with it. There's so many different topics. I don't think we're short of topics of what we'll be talking about.

Tim:

And I guess a shout out to anybody who listens. Know, You if there are things that they think that it's just them that's going through it Yeah. That they're worrying about.

Sim:

That's what I want. I want the somebody, you know, if they don't feel comfortable having these conversations yet or they don't Yeah. They don't honestly, to God, think that they don't know somebody Yep. Who's experiencing that situation. So they would know who to ask if they could, is to be able to reach out and just be like,

Tim:

talk you know, this is what this is.

Sim:

Yeah. It's just a public forum to talk about public things that affect people, and it's gonna relate to one person or it's gonna relate to another. But that's why we're specifically trying to choose things

Tim:

Yep. Agreed.

Sim:

That we think is across the board, which hopefully, even if you never end up having a conversation with somebody, if you just listen to this conversation, you know that there's at least one other person

Tim:

Exactly.

Sim:

On the planet that is going through what it is you're going through or having that same thought that you're having.

Tim:

Worry not. It's not just you. Right?

Sim:

Yeah. That's it.

Tim:

Alright. Well, how do you wrap these things up? I guess we'll

Sim:

With a pretty little bow.

Tim:

Yes. Yeah. So so that's the purpose of the podcast.

Sim:

Yeah. We're really excited to do it. We're gonna keep cooking up more topics. And also some topics, we might start pulling on a thread, and it might be best for people if we actually have an expert who can come in and share their insight on that. Because you and I, I think, we're definitely questioners.

Sim:

We're people that

Tim:

Yep.

Sim:

Start to probe an idea. Yep. But we are certainly not experts Yep. On much of anything.

Tim:

Talk for yourself. But, yeah, I've got yeah.

Sim:

I don't know. I've got, yeah, geeky examples I can put in there. But

Tim:

That's for next time.

Sim:

Yes. But yeah. So I think it's just really about starting conversations, having people who can answer the questions if there even are questions, but just let's just start a conversation.

Tim:

I look forward to it. Mhmm. I'll see you on the next time then.

Sim:

Chat soon.

Tim:

Chat soon. This episode is brought to you by Shmirnov hard soda. With a yuzu citrus burst, it's bound to bring your day a bit lighter than it was before. 6% alcohol, drink responsibly.

Sim:

I love it.