Reunited: Starting Season Two with Fresh Energy

Show Notes

Let us know what's up

Back with renewed energy for season two! After a whirlwind summer filled with unexpected adventures—including camping mishaps involving ninja trees and discovering they're woefully unprepared for tent camping in Florida's scorching heat—they're diving back into the podcast with fresh perspectives from their new professional roles.

As the school year kicks into gear, behavior challenges emerge as students readjust to classroom structures after months of summer freedom. These transition periods reveal a universal truth in education: resistance is natural when expectations shift. For students with special needs, this adjustment can be particularly difficult as they navigate new routines, teachers, and demands. The hosts explore how seemingly minor issues—a fallen sock, tight shoelaces, or sensory discomfort—can trigger significant behavioral responses in children.

The heart of effective behavior management lies in collaborative parent-teacher relationships. Rather than approaching meetings determined to convince each other they're right, both parties benefit from asking questions and genuinely listening. "What do you see for your child?" becomes a transformative question that reveals differing yet equally important perspectives. When parents and educators align their goals and understand each other's viewpoints, they create a unified team that truly supports student success. Remember, every child deserves advocates who prioritize their well-being, whether they have formal diagnoses or not. As one wise t-shirt reminds us: "Be kind, because you never know what another person is going through."

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What is Life in the IEP Tribe?

Join us as we dive into the world of special education with two educators who have walked the same path as many of you. In addition to teaching in self-contained and collaborative settings, our hosts bring a unique perspective to the challenges and triumphs of raising a special needs child. From classroom strategies to heartfelt family moments, they offer practical advice, empathy, and a community of support. Discover how their personal experiences can shed light on your journey and gain valuable insights into navigating the complexities of special education both in and out of the classroom. Welcome to the tribe!

Speaker 2: I am so excited I was
trying to figure out what kind

of yell that was.

I don't know if you like saw a
frog or a lizard, or if you were

excited.

Right, no, I, no, I'm just like
super excited.

Speaker 1: I feel like we
haven't done this in forever and

we are embarking on what we're
calling our second season, so

I'm super excited.

Not only am I super excited
about that, but we've had quite

the whirlwind of a summer.

Speaker 2: Yeah, which started
out with like zero or not zero,

but like two things on the
agenda, and it ended up with

multiple fun things that we got
to do.

Speaker 1: Yeah, I think like a
week before school finished, the

entirety of our plan was like
making our annual trip to

Virginia and having our annual
get together with the Curtis

family somewhere, right, and
then next thing you know we're

like we were.

We were gone for a week and
we're back for a week.

And we're gone for a week and
we're back for a week and again

like gone.

I don't know, I lost count, but
anyway we got to do some really

great things though.

Speaker 2: We did.

Speaker 1: Like we and it's it's
no secret.

The team that we worked with is
super cool and we love them so

much and they were always very,
very, very good to us.

And yeah, I keep saying was, and
we'll explain that later but

they gifted us some camping
trips that were so much fun and

kind of weird, right, yeah, I
mean, there was the backing into

a tree, okay, so listen, I
don't know if I'm getting old

and just can't hear, right, or I
would like to blame the vehicle

, but okay, so here we are in
this campsite and it was a

really great campsite down in St
Augustine and we had this idea

that, instead of having to back
out into the road, why don't we

back in to the campsite so that
we can just pull on out, right,

right, makes sense.

So I go to back up the behemoth
of the vehicle that we drive.

The thing is huge, it's a super
long expedition and and it has

the little bb thing when things
are in the way.

But this tree had this like
crazy crook to it and yeah, I'm

I'm kind of making a gesture
with my hands that nobody can

see, but it has this crook to it
that while I'm backing up I

didn't hear the beepy thing.

Speaker 2: I'm looking at the,
the camera and the screen and it

was didn't help that the tree
was in the bushes yeah, stupid

tree.

Speaker 1: So the tree was being
like a ninja tree.

It wasn't even like a normal
tree that just hangs out and has

leaves.

It was hiding, almost like now
I'm not trying to start anything

, but it's almost like it wanted
to hide and hit the truck.

So we back into it and all of a
sudden you hear and busted out

the window and that was weird.

But other than that everything
was really great, like we had a

really good time yes, we did.

Would you like to elaborate on
that?

Speaker 2: Hey, I think my brain
needs to get back in like all

kinds of shape after the summer.

I need to get back in work
shape.

I need to get back in school
shape.

I need to, I guess, get back in
talking shape, talking shape.

Talking shape for this, all
right, so yeah, that trip was

down to St Augustine Beach and,
like you said, the team that we

worked with last year gifted us
a week there.

We'd never camped down there
before, and it was one of those

bucket list sites that we wanted
to check out.

Now, the other thing we'd never
done we tent camped in Florida

in the summer, and as much fun
as we had, we sweat the entire

time to the point where we had a
portable air conditioner and we

realized that our tent had
these screens that didn't close,

and so we spent some of our
time making making screens

closers that the air conditioner
would work better, and so then

we realized that Though we're
sad, that's what we realized.

Speaker 1: We do not know how to
camp, like if the end of the

world started.

I don't mean like the end of
the world like it exploded, but

I mean, let's just for a minute
imagine us in, you know, like

the Walking Dead kind of setting
.

We're done Kurti, we're going
to be laying out on the ground

sweating to death, hoping to get
eaten by zombies.

Speaker 2: Unless we got a beach
to go to, because the beach was

great.

Speaker 1: Oh, that did work out
, didn't it?

Speaker 2: Yeah, the beach was
great.

We could go and cool off and
have a good time.

However, one really cool thing
we did learn on that trip is

that okay, so we might want to
look into a camper if we plan on

doing this more in the
summertime, because it was great

and going to the beach was
great and if I'm near water, I'm

happy.

So we decided that for the next
fabulous trip that they gifted

us to Santee, south Carolina,
that we probably wanted

something with some air
conditioning.

Yeah, our creature comforts.

Yeah, that is pretty sad, but
it was a lot of fun.

Speaker 1: It was a lot of good
times.

So, hey, listen, let us know
about your summer stuff.

You can talk to us on Facebook,
you can shoot us an email to

lifeintheeptribe at gmailcom and
, yeah, tell us about some of

your fun times.

Now let's back up a little bit
more and talk about our change

of scenery.

Yep, that silence was on purple
.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker 1: Well, because it
happened much like the summer

filling up, it all happened very
fast.

Speaker 2: It's all your fault.

Speaker 1: Well, it is my fault
and I'll take the blame for that

.

I don't mind, that's okay.

So anybody that has hung around
you for the last I don't know

five years, that has hung around
you for the last I don't know

five years, knows that you
really, really, really enjoyed

your time hanging out at the
middle school when you were

doing your practicum hours for
school, right, and I think you

were.

How long were you there?

Speaker 2: I think I only did 40
hours Okay In one of the

semesters.

Speaker 1: But I think it was my
second third year in school.

Did you say?

Speaker 2: your second, third
year, second, or third year.

Oh, second or third year I was
like what is a second, third

year.

I think it was during my third
year and I had to go over there

to do more to do my hours for
the um, my degree, and luckily

that I got to you know, got to
see and work with, got to be in

the classroom with one of
Xander's teachers but also got

to pick the brain of a Xander's
other teacher while that he was

there and I just really liked
the time there.

I like the things that they got
to work the brain of a Sanders

other teacher while that he was
there and I just really liked

the time there.

I liked the things that they
got to work on Providing the

more of the life skills part of
special education going on the.

I got to go on one of the
community-based outings one time

and so I just felt like that
was more.

I was more suited for that.

But, like I said, anybody like
you said, anybody that knows me

knows.

I said that.

But I also said if you decide
you're pursuing other things,

then this is what I'm doing.

But that's not really how it
happened.

Speaker 1: No, no, it got kind
of weird.

So it was literally the last
day of school and that opening

was sent out is that the right
way to say it?

Distributed amongst those who
work in the school system a

vacancy and yeah and so I saw it
and I thought, oh my goodness,

you know, here's an opening to
the middle school and and I know

that laura had some interest in
that, and so I was like, hey,

check it out.

Um, and she did, and that's
where she ended up yep I mean,

it happened like less than less
than a week.

Yeah, it was a quick turnaround
and so, you know, with Laura

leaving, I got to, and so I got
to thinking about my situation

in life and, and with us going
back to school again, we're

finishing up some degrees here
within the next couple of years,

and for me to have a change of
scenery as far as, like, my

responsibility, the things that
have some responsibility,

changes that would allow me more
flexibility and what's the word

I'm looking for, like I don't
know put myself in a different

setting so I could focus on
finishing up this degree that's

coming along because, goodness
knows, I need all the help that

I can get.

So with that, I ended up moving
to another school to do

collaborative teaching and, for
anybody that does not know what

that means, I still work with
kids that have IEPs.

I just push into the Gen N
classroom and work with them

there, and I got to tell you
we've been back in school for

two and a half weeks and it's
been really great.

It's been neat getting to meet
new kids and new teachers and

make more connections, and so
one of the things that we're

really excited about is the pool
from which we can gain more

understanding and knowledge
about the world of IEP, not just

the you know the paperwork side
of it and all of that, but

everything that comes along with
students that have special

needs, and we know that it's
incredibly multifaceted, right.

So you know with kids that you
never know what supports they

need in the beginning, and then,
the more you work with them,

their supports needs change.

Sometimes you know what they
were needing support with.

On this day they no longer need
that support, and so now we

have to find other people who
have other specialties, and so

the plan for season two is to
continue with a lot of those

interviews and bringing in
specialists.

And because, at the end of the
day, our whole goal in

everything that we do is to
provide support, everybody wants

to know that they're supported
and everybody wants to feel

supported, and we know that,
again, there's so many people

that are involved in the life of
a student that has special

needs that nobody is a
specialist in everything.

Speaker 2: Right.

Speaker 1: And so yeah, so the
more that we can gather, the

more that we can bring together
and maybe kind of produce this

kind of a one-stop shop to at
least point people in a

direction that have different
concerns or questions.

I think that would be a great
thing.

So how has the beginning of
your year been?

I just talked a little bit
about mine and how exciting it's

been, but tell me some more
about yours.

Speaker 2: Mine's been good.

It's been really good and got
to meet some new kids, also have

some familiar faces where I am,
some of the students that I've

known for a long time and got to
see some that I hadn't, that

had moved on and then came back
to.

I came over to the middle
school after elementary and so

that's been great.

It's been great working with
the teachers I'm working,

working with and they have a lot
of knowledge and um, but it

it's just been, it's been a
different learning curve.

But, uh, as far as you know,
realize that some of my

materials that I've brought over
like, okay, let's, yeah, so

these kids know all this.

So let me find I'm on the search
for some, uh, more materials

for sure, um, I was fortunate
that um, two of the, the paras

that we worked with, had um also
applied and came over with me

and so I get to work with them
because as a team, that is one

of the harder things, and I was
fortunate that I didn't have to

start the year learning a new
school, learning new students,

learning new routines and
learning new paras.

So that helped take a lot of the
anxiety and stress away.

Now, as the beginning of the
year starts.

The students have to learn us
and we all know children,

they're going to try to get away
with what they can get away

with and see what we're going to
put up with.

And so there's been some
behaviors that we've seen in the

school, not just in our classes
but in the school and we've

also talked to other co-workers,
other friends, family members,

and I think that that's
something that is being seen and

we don't know about other
states and county, but at least

in our county that's something
that we've been seeing and

hearing a lot of at the
beginning of the school years

having some struggles with these
kids coming back from school

and settling into a routine and
displaying some of these

unwanted behaviors.

Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think
that what you said about

settling in on a routine is
what's huge, because I know

we've talked a lot before about
the difference as far as

expectation goes in the house
and in the school building.

They should be different.

There should be more
restrictions in the school

building right, because you're
trying to help students learn

how to operate in different
settings, and home should be a

place that they can go to and
kind of, you know, take a breath

and unwind, and not saying that
kids shouldn't have direction

or order.

However, you know that it is
important to have that place

where you can just kind of let
loose a little.

Speaker 2: I think there's less
expectations.

I know one of the common things
that when teachers talk to

parents, one of the common
things they hear is well, I

don't see that at home, and we
often hear teachers that get

frustrated or they don't believe
the parent.

I think we've even been found
thinking, huh, and until we

realize that well yeah, well,
that does make sense, because

they're not asking them to sit
down and do these work tasks and

, like you said, it shouldn't be
like that.

Of course they should have
expectations at home.

We're not saying that, but
they're different expectations

and a lot of times what's
happening at school is they're

being asked to do things that
are not highly preferred

activities.

Speaker 1: Right, right.

I mean, I don't know how many
times over the course of my

adult life I've woke up and said
I don't want to go to work

today, just because I didn't
feel like doing work.

Speaker 2: I don't want to write
this paper this weekend, yep.

Speaker 1: See, and so that all
makes sense.

And so what happens is we're
starting back into the school

year.

So where we're at, like I said
earlier, we're two and a half

weeks into the school year.

And so now you have all of these
kids from, you know, from

kindergarten all the way up
through 12th grade, who are now

stepping back into a building
where the expectations are going

to be a lot higher after having
months of not the same types of

expectations, and with that
comes pushback.

And so we've seen that, we've
seen the pushback in the

self-contained classrooms, we've
seen the pushback in the

general setting.

And so I think what the
question is, just moving into,

sliding into this first episode
of the first season, let's just

kind of talk a little bit about,
let's talk about those

behaviors, kind of at a surface
level, and discuss, I mean, what

are some of the things that we
need to understand, some of the

things that we need to do in
response to those you know

there's, of course there's that
impact on on learning, for the

student presenting the behaviors
and the students in the in the

classroom, for the student
presenting the behaviors and the

students in the classroom, and
so, and then it impacts the

teachers being able to get what
they need to get done.

Speaker 2: And we know that each
seems like each year, that

there is, you know, more of that
push on teachers of academics.

I'm not saying academics isn't
important, don't?

Speaker 1: take that, Listen who
really gives a rip.

If you can read.

Speaker 2: No, we're not saying
that.

But it seems that the
curriculum and instruction is

starting they're expected to do
from the get-go and so it's hard

for those teachers to get that
routine.

Because most of the time we're
a little more fortunate in our

setting that we already have.

A lot of times we already have
relationships with our students

and they know our expectations
when they come back.

Speaker 1: Yeah, because you'll
spend multiple years with the

same students and they know our
expectations when they come back

.

They have to remind them.

Yeah, because you'll spend
multiple years with the same

students.

Speaker 2: But in the majority
of the classrooms, these

students are working with new
teachers and, like I said, most

children are going to see what
they can get away with and if

they can get away with something
, so they're going to test that

new teacher that they have this
year.

And so we've talked before
about the importance of having

relationships, but with the
rigor that is expected, it's

hard to develop those
relationships right from the

get-go, and so they're seeing
the behaviors and the

disruptions and reaching out to
parents, and parents are I don't

know what to do, or I haven't,
I haven't seen this, or this

didn't happen last year, and so
it's yeah, it.

I think that it's a lot, a lot
of that going on.

Speaker 1: Well, and then when
we start to look at our specific

population, our tribe, the
students with special needs, it

always one of the things that
rings in my head very often is

the conversation that we had
with Heather McMillan last year,

one of the greatest special
education teachers I've ever met

in my life.

She's fantastic.

She was Zander's teacher.

She gets results, she pushes
the kids like she's figured them

out, and something that she
shared with us is that that

people don't learn till they're
ready to learn.

Right, and we can agree with
that.

We can look and we can see that
.

We see that in our adult lives,
People who you know shirk off

certain responsibilities until
they get to a point where

they're like oh wait, a minute,
no, this things have to change.

I'm now ready to take
accountability and action, or

take accountability for my
actions and what I'm doing with

my life and kids.

Learning is the same thing.

So we can have a kid in our
classroom that you know they may

be incredibly intelligent, but
if they're not ready to learn,

it's not going to happen.

Speaker 2: Right.

Speaker 1: You're going to have
that clash, you're going to have

that Pushback.

Speaker 2: Yeah, resistance.

Speaker 1: Right, and so we look
at that and we think to

ourselves, okay, well, why, why,
why?

Why is this happening, right?

And so we've already talked a
little bit about that.

How do we approach that, though
?

What do we do as parents?

What do we do as special
education educators?

Should I just say special
educators?

I think that makes more sense,
special educators when looking

at these behaviors, because I do
know this.

I know that any time we want to
see a change, it starts with an

understanding.

Right, we have to have an
understanding of what's going on

.

One of the things that I had
this conversation with somebody

just the other day.

I'm not a big like systems
person from the standpoint of I

believe that if I do X, y and Z,
I'm always going to get this

result.

I just don't.

I think there's too many
variables in life to live that

way, and oftentimes we have to
get to know people and we have

to work those.

We have to work through that to
get to the desired end, and in

this case, we're talking about
modifying behavior.

So what do we need to know,
like, what are some things that

we need to understand to help
kind of shape our scope, shape

our perspective on these kids
and what they're going through

right now.

Speaker 2: I think one of the
things you talked about was

parents and teachers, and so
that parent-teacher relationship

and communication is important.

I was having a conversation
with a friend who is also a

parent of a young child and
their child is displaying some

behaviors and there's some
concern and I was really, really

excited that she had said that.

Well, I have a meeting with the
teacher and I understand that

the school has a lot to offer.

So before I take further steps,
I want to hear what the teacher

says and what the you know the
perspective of the teacher and

you know she also has some
things that they have changed at

home with the child and they
also have some strategies that

they use.

So it was exciting to me that
she's going in there with this

open mind, with this teacher,
that and with this thought that

she's this teacher's here to
help me and my child.

She's not just like complaining
about my child and the

behaviors, complaining about my
child and the behaviors.

So I think that's one of the
important things to keep in mind

is having that conversation and
hopefully that is the case,

that the teacher isn't just
there trying to complain about

your child.

That they're like okay, let's
figure out the why, like you're

saying, you have to understand
why this behavior is happening,

because it can be a long list of
things and especially when

you're talking about young
children, some of the things

that get in their heads, that
bother them, that they're like.

We may finally, when we figure
it out, be like, oh my gosh,

that's like completely
unreasonable, but to them it's

not, it's a big deal.

To them it, you know, couldn't
be the fact that their sock has

fallen into their shoe.

I know that drives me crazy.

However, as a small child, that
can be a big deal, especially

if there's a sensory issues or
their shoelaces are too tight.

I know as a baby our oldest
Troy.

Every time I put shoes on him
he cried and I couldn't figure

out why.

Well, it was because his feet
needed a little bit more work

before they could go into those
shoes, but like he would scream

bloody murder, as soon as I took
his shoes off he was fine.

So finding the, the reason why
they're they're um he wasn't

just being a turd right, no no,
because he was a pretty easy

baby, so like something is wrong
if he's crying like this.

Speaker 1: But yeah, it can just
, it can be the simplest things.

Something that we learned not
too terribly long ago and

something that I continue to
carry with me and I know you do

as well is is that the
importance of listening and the

importance of asking questions.

You know it's very easy from a
parent side to have a mindset of

this is what I want for my kid,
this is what I want them to

accomplish, and if the teacher
doesn't agree with that, then

there's some serious friction.

And there's some serious
friction and then on the other

side, when you're the teacher,
you have in mind, working with

this kid, everything they can
accomplish and the goals that

you believe they can achieve,
but it may not match what the

parent's thinking conversations
almost like.

We are dead set on convincing
the other that we're right and

we don't take the time to listen
and to ask the questions.

You know it took us years to get
to a point where we were

sitting in a meeting with
parents and it just for whatever

reason.

At that time it clicked and we
question what do you, what do

you see for your child?

Well, and what they saw and
what we saw, not that one was

better or worse or they were
very different.

Right, and there is no way that
we as a team are going to

achieve a goal when the goals
are different, right we're.

We're kind of pointing guns in
different directions and pulling

the trigger.

We're never going to hit the
bullseye, right, it's never

going to happen.

And so I think that what I want
to really push at the end of

this conversation is that
teachers and parents, if we

can't be and I've failed at this
, right so this isn't me

standing on a pedestal saying,
hey, I've got it figured out,

I've done it right, like I have
failed this numerous times and

I'm trying to get better at it.

Speaker 2: And we have, on both
sides of that fence, right as

parents and as teachers.

Speaker 1: Absolutely.

Us right now is is if we can
get our teachers and our parents

to walk into the meetings ready
to listen, ready to hear each

other, ready to ask the
questions of what do you see and

why?

Because you know what here's.

The truth is that you know we
can sit all day and we can say a

kid's going to be able to do
this and a kid's not going to be

able to do that, and there's
going to be teachers that are

going to have too low
expectations, too high

expectations.

There's going to be parents in
that same vein, but we never

know where to meet if we don't
ask the questions and we don't

listen, right?

So I think.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but if
we can give one little piece of

advice rolling into this school
year, it's that if the kid's

going to be first and their
well-being is first, we've got

to be a team.

We've got to be a team.

So let's walk in there, b team.

And oh, by the way, if you are
a teacher and that student is

not like, their best interest is
not number one on your, on your

to do list Quit, go, do
something else.

Don't do that to these youngins
, Right?

If you're just in there because
you've been a teacher and this

is what I do, and I'm just kind
of waiting out and I'm going to

make these kids listen.

Go do something else, because
they don't need that from you.

What they need is a team, an
IEP team, parents, teachers,

other support staff that say our
goal is to help this kid be the

very best that they can be.

Speaker 2: Even before an IEP
team, some of these young kids

are not diagnosed or not they
have not been screened, and so

some of these students that are
having these issues, especially

the young ones, you don't have
to have an IEP to have a team at

school.

True story you know parents ask
the questions.

Okay, so because, and if the
teacher doesn't know and won't

find out, go to the next person,
talk to the guidance counselor,

talk to the principal and find
out what is available for your

child to help your child and
what's the best way to support

as a team, because you have a
team whether your kid has an IEP

or not.

Speaker 1: So you were telling
me the other day about this

T-shirt.

I think you said that one of
your parents got all of you a

t-shirt, or but it had this
really great saying on it.

What was it?

I?

Speaker 2: think it said be kind
, because you never know what

another person is going through.

Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think
that's key to keep in mind.

Right, you're walking into
these meetings, you're seeing

these children, you're seeing
the behaviors, you're seeing a

lot of chaos going on and it's
very important to consider them.

Speaker 2: Right, and my dad
always used to say you know

everyone's carrying their own
sack of rocks.

You never know what's in.

You don't know what's in that
sack of rocks, and everybody's

sack of rocks is different, so
don't assume that you know

what's going on.

Speaker 1: Well, my dad just
used to say what's wrong with

you?

And you know I still can't
answer that question, so we are

wrapping up episode one of
season two.

Speaker 2: I'm so excited still.

And his football season like
cheers.

Speaker 1: Right Weird, but
anyway we'll see you next time.