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When your mentee grows up, we want them to know how to walk with Jesus. But they’re not going to learn it on their own, and the world isn’t going to teach them how to do it either. Zach and Caroline share simple ways you can model relationship with God in your mentor relationship.
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:Alright, mentors. How's it going today? Zachary Garza here with the You Can Mentor podcast, sitting alongside
Speaker 1:Caroline Tidwell. That's my name.
Speaker 2:If you guys haven't been paying attention, Caroline Cash is now Caroline Tidwell.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah. Got that got married during the pandemic.
Speaker 2:She got that ring. Alright, guys. Hey. For today, we're gonna talk about something that is very important to mentoring, and that is Jesus. Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2:For those of you guys who don't know, we here at You Can Mentor, we're involved with a faith based mentoring organization. And the purpose of You Can Mentor is to invite other Christ followers to mentor kids from hard places. And, like, yes, in mentoring, we wanna teach our kids character, and we wanna teach them how to succeed in life and how to be positive and productive adults and things like that. But the main thing that we're going after is producing disciples of Jesus. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:So more than anything, we want our kids to love Jesus Christ with all of their heart.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:We also know that, like, that that might be a little difficult to insert Jesus into your conversations with kiddos and how to do that in a way that's engaging. And so we we just wanna talk today about how to invite Jesus into your mentoring party.
Speaker 1:So good. I love that. Jesus is by far the most important thing. You can have a successful job, successful marriage, kids, whatever, but if you don't have Jesus, there is nothing past this life besides eternity. And we we want our mentees to be praising Jesus alongside us for the rest of eternity.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So we here at You Can Mentor think that our number one job as mentors is to teach our mentees how to have a relationship with Jesus. Mhmm. So today, we're actually going to talk about the 5 things that we believe we as mentors can model in regards to building a healthy relationship with Jesus and really allowing him to be king of our life. And if we're doing that, then we have an an opportunity to invite our mentees into that as well.
Speaker 2:So that's what we're gonna talk about today. So one of my favorite sayings is is this, as a parent and as a mentor, it's to prepare the kid for the world instead of preparing the world for the kid. And what I think of whenever I hear that is I think about this dude named Humphrey. Right? Little Humphrey.
Speaker 2:And he is a kid who's in our program, and he's 7 years old. And he's a little bit mischievous. Like, he's he'll get into some trouble if, you're not paying attention.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:But, man, I love this kid. Like, he is he is such a stud. Like, he's one of my favorite kids to get to know in our after school program. And he's just that. Right?
Speaker 2:He's a kid. Like, when you see Humphrey, there's no doubt that he's under the age of 8. But what I see when I see little 7 year old Humphrey is I see this picture of him when he's 30. Right? I see this picture of him dealing with, like, the anxieties of adulthood.
Speaker 2:I see him trying to handle the stresses of a career or the weight of being the leader of a family. And I think, how can I prepare this 7 year old kid for what he's about to endure as an adult? One of our favorite sayings is we want our kids to experience a relationship with Jesus, not just know a lot about Jesus. And a relationship with Jesus is what Humphrey is gonna need if he's gonna deal with whatever this world is gonna toss at him. So here's 5 ways for us as mentors to model a healthy relationship with Jesus because so much more is caught than taught.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, we can sit our kids down and be like, okay. Here's how you read the Bible. Step 1, open up to James. Go to the index. Yes.
Speaker 2:We can do that. And that's helpful. Please don't hear me say that that that's not. But it's so much more helpful if the kids see you reading the Bible, see you opening up your Bible. Right?
Speaker 2:Because so much more is caught than taught. So the first thing that we're gonna talk about is
Speaker 1:Time.
Speaker 2:Time. Spending time with Jesus. What do you think of whenever you think of spending time with Jesus, Caroline?
Speaker 1:Well, I my first thing that comes to mind is just a quiet time and, like, opening up your Bible, listening to worship music, praying. But just like in any relationship, you can't have a relationship without spending time with them. And so it's the same with Jesus. We have to spend time with Jesus to have a deep relationship with him. I just want to know Zach, like how do you, how do you spend time with Jesus and bring your mentee into that?
Speaker 1:Because it's kind of a weird concept. Like we, a lot of times we think of our quiet time as just us and the Lord. But when we're talking about bringing our mentee into those things, like, how would you practically do that?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I think that that's a great question, Caroline. And, yeah, we we might not be able to, like, quote unquote do our quiet time in front of our mentee. Right? Like, it's it's not like I'm gonna pick my mentee up at 5 in the morning and be like, okay.
Speaker 2:Let's go sit in my study and, you know, listen to instrumental music. Like, no. Like but while we might not be able to to do that, we sure can't talk about it.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:And we can let them know, like, hey. You you might not be doing this yet, but as a believer, as someone who's building a relationship with Jesus, it's really important that you do set aside time. Mhmm. And maybe you as you're talking about it, you encourage them to. Hey.
Speaker 2:For 5 minutes today, for 10 minutes today, for 15, like, try to add 2 to 3 minutes a week. Right? Mhmm. Just getting them in the habit of setting aside time for a relationship that you value. Because if I didn't spend time with my wife, I can talk about how much I care for all day long, but she wouldn't feel that.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And we wouldn't have a good relationship because trust wouldn't have been built, because it takes time to build trust. It's the same thing with Jesus. If you're gonna trust Jesus as the king of your life, you have to spend time with him. And so doing whatever you have to do to make sure that you're emphasizing the importance of that to your mentee, I think that right there is is a big step forward.
Speaker 1:Yeah. That's awesome. Just exposing them to the fact that people do have quiet time with the Lord.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Right.
Speaker 1:Because some of our mentees may have never experienced that. And just even them like, what is a quiet time? Yeah. That's so Christianese. But, like, how many of our kids have, like, never heard of a quiet time before and being able to explain that to them?
Speaker 2:Yeah. And, like, for Humphrey whenever he's 30, like, to deal with all the stuff that this life throws at him, he's gotta have a time where he's gonna center himself, where he's gonna fix his eyes on the Lord, where he's he's gonna sit in the silence and be restored in the things that he needs. And he's only gonna get that from Jesus. And so, like, it's so easy to fall into the temptation of busyness, busyness, busyness, busyness. But if we can start that routine of, like, hey, like, yeah, life might be crazy, but these are the most important 20 minutes of your day.
Speaker 2:These are the most important 30 minutes. If we can get them in that habit when they're young, then when they do get to be an adult, it'll just be a seamless transition.
Speaker 1:Great.
Speaker 2:So the first thing to have a healthy relationship is time. Number 2 is it's prayer. And prayer is a lot easier to do with your mentee, which is a good thing. So, like, when you are spending time with someone, what's the main thing that you do? Well, more times than not, it's talk.
Speaker 2:And so teaching our kids how to have a true conversation, which is not not only speaking to the Lord in prayer, but hearing what the Lord has to say back to you
Speaker 1:It's great.
Speaker 2:Like, that's something that we can train our mentees in from an early age. It's talking and listening, and we can model that by praying with them. Mhmm. Right? And, like, it doesn't have to be super fancy.
Speaker 2:It doesn't have to be like, oh, okay, Minty. Like, let's sit down and let's be quiet and let's put our hands together and let's pray dearest dearest Lord Jesus. Right? Like, no. It it can just be like a simple prayer.
Speaker 2:Right? Like, if your kid's talking about how he's nervous about basketball tryouts, then just say, hey, man. Is it cool if we pray for that? Dear God, Lord, we just lift up these basketball tryouts to you, God, and we say, Lord, would you give my mentee everything that he needs? Amen.
Speaker 2:Dear God, please be with Johnny as he's going through a hard time with his girlfriend. Lord, I just pray that you give him wisdom. Or like, holy spirit, Johnny feels like he's alone. Can you let him know how you feel about him? And then just, like, ask your mentee.
Speaker 2:Hey. Did you feel anything? What what was the first thing that popped into your head? And then you as a mentor, you get to guide him in that. Hey.
Speaker 2:Look like if it was negative, well, the Lord doesn't speak negative things. So if it was negative, well, then that wasn't from God. Let's wait until we hear something that's encouraging. Let's wait until we hear something that's positive. And so just, like, just making that prayer, like, a normal part of your conversation.
Speaker 2:Also, it's so easy. If you pick up your kid or if you drop them off at the end of every time that you spend with them, just you 2 pray together. Hey. Look, man. Is there anything that I can pray for you for?
Speaker 2:And then, like, you can ask him, like, hey. I've got this thing at work. Can you pray for that? Hey. I'm about to go on a trip.
Speaker 2:Can you please pray for that? And, like, don't just put it all on you, but invite him into it as well.
Speaker 1:That's good. So And it gives you the ability to, like, follow back up with them. You know? I mean, like, the next time you see your mentee, hey. We prayed about basketball tryouts last time.
Speaker 1:Your mom told me that you made the team, and then, like, let's we'll get into this in a second. Like, let's praise god for that, and let's continue to pray for that. And you can kinda teach your mentee, like, it's not just praying for things. Talking to God is not just like, Lord, give me this or give me this, but being able to, like, continue to have a conversation with the Lord just as you would with a friend where your conversation might start at one point and lead to another point. You can do that with the Lord, and you can teach your mentee how you can start praying for one thing, watch it develop, and continue to pray for deeper things, which I just I just think is amazing that the Lord, like, allows us to have these deep conversations with him and that we get to environment into that.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And just like you can also incorporate prayer before you eat or anytime that you can just model that. And not only modeling it, but inviting your mentee into it, like, that is just such a home run. So first one, time. 2nd one, prayer.
Speaker 2:The third one is worship. Yeah. It's thanksgiving. Right? And it says in the bible, to enter his gates with thanksgiving is praise.
Speaker 2:That the joy of the lord is my strength. And, like, I know for me, it's hard because I'm not the most, like, joyful person. I'm kind of a little bit more serious. But but, like, it is so important for us to tell God thank you. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And we, as mentors, get an opportunity to model to our kids how to how to be on the lookout for things that God has done and then to give them thanks for it. And to teach him how to say thank you and to teach him how to praise and how to worship him. Right? Because, like, praise and worship and thanksgiving can it can just strengthen your mentee's self confidence. It can strengthen how he sees himself.
Speaker 2:It can strengthen how he sees the world. It just only makes things better.
Speaker 1:Yeah. It's so good. And something that's a really easy practical that I have done before with kids is, like, make it almost a game. Yeah. Like, it kinda sounds silly, but okay.
Speaker 1:We're gonna take 30 seconds. Who can write down the most things that they're grateful for? And then you read them out to each other, and then you as a mentor get to be like, that's amazing. Let's praise the Lord that you got to have your favorite dinner this week, or let's praise God for your a on your test, or let's praise God for you scoring a goal in your basketball game. Is that what they call it?
Speaker 1:Scoring a basketball.
Speaker 2:Score a goal. Oh my god.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry. I'm so bad at basketball.
Speaker 2:It's great. It's great.
Speaker 1:Anyways but I think that's just a really easy way to get your mentee in the mindset of focusing on girlfriends and I
Speaker 2:do this still.
Speaker 1:But where every morning we write down 10 things that we're grateful for to start the day in gratitude. And when we first started it, it started with, like, I'm thankful for my house, my food, my bed, my clothes. And then now it's like, I'm thankful that I got to hear the birds singing outside of my window, or I'm thankful that, like, my plant is growing and that the Lord is, like, showing me his creation even through a plant. And so that's just a fun way to easily incorporate gratitude and thanksgiving with your mentee. It's just these little practices of writing things down.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I know for me, anytime that I'm in the car with my mentee and things, there's just not a ton of things to talk about, which we've all been there. Mhmm. Okay. This is a tad bit awkward.
Speaker 2:She's like, hey, man. What what's 2 things? What are 2 things that you're thankful for? And then when they say it, just be like, is it cool if we praise God for that? Dear God, thank you that my mentee got in his shoes.
Speaker 2:Thank you that we're about to go eat dinner. Like, thank you that we're able to spend time with each other. And and, yeah, most of the time, your mentee will just give you, like, I'm thankful for my shirt. Like, I'm I'm thankful for right? And they they might not understand it, but I've had this happen a couple of times.
Speaker 2:Sometimes they they they just drop bombs.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:And they're like, I'm thankful for you. And I'm like, woah. Like, where did that come from? Right? But, like, teaching them how to express thanksgiving and teaching them how to and then, like, say, god, thank you.
Speaker 2:Like, thank you, Jesus, for providing these things for me. It's just a great habit to get in, on focusing on the good, not on the bad. Because there's so much bad out there.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:So let's as mentors, let's not only model that, but let's invite our mentees into that as well. Hey. You just made an a on your test. That's awesome, man. Praise God.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Jesus, for the opportunity for so and so to make an a. That's great. So that was the third thing. We've spending time with God, praying to God, worshiping the Lord. The last one the almost to last one.
Speaker 2:The fourth one is the Bible. I know that for some of our kids, like, it might bore them to death to, like, open up a Bible when you're spending time with them. Right? Like, I am not gonna take my kid to, like, his favorite place to eat dinner and then be like, oh, by by the way, I'm I'm gonna read the first chapter of Nehemiah to you. Right?
Speaker 2:Like but I think here's a good way that we can incorporate the bible and let our mentees know that it's important without or while keeping them engaged. Right? So, like, here are some of my favorite phrases. Like, hey, man. I've been chewing on this story for a while now.
Speaker 2:And then you, like, tell them the story or, hey, man. I've been chewing on this verse for a while now. And then you tell them a verse and just engage them in it. Hey. Tell me what that means to you.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Tell me what you think is going on, and then just have a conversation about it. Right? And so, like, you don't have to read a chapter to your mentee, but you can definitely bring up a verse. Like, hey.
Speaker 2:Like, tell me what it means to you whenever I say the joy of the lord is your strength. And then have a conversation about it. Right?
Speaker 1:That's so good.
Speaker 2:And, like, that's that's not only for the the older kids, but that can be used with you know, my son's 5, and I I can, do this with him as well. And then just, like, asking like, hey. So if the joy of the Lord is your strength, like, how does that change your life? Like, how does that impact you? Right?
Speaker 2:Like, what are some things in your day to day that you can do to to show that this verse is true? Right? And so I just think that that's super important. And especially with, like, the Proverbs and, like, the Psalms, like, the parables, like, those are all great ways to introduce your kid to the Holy Bible.
Speaker 1:It's so good. It just makes it breaks it down to where it's not scary because I think just where do you start? I mean, I have followed Jesus for a long time, and I still sometimes I'm like, okay. I'm just gonna flip it open. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I feel like I don't know where to go. But breaking it down just in a conversation and letting it be, the Lord tells us to write his word on our heart. And so being able to say, like, you know, I've been thinking about the joy of the Lord is my strength for a long time. And, like, that is scriptural. Like, you are speaking scripture over your mentee, and you are in ways showing them that the Bible is not scary or daunting or just this big book, but that it is, like, it is truth and that they can glean from it, which I I I don't think that that is always easy for kids, especially to see that they can actually learn something from the Bible.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah. And and just like this conversation about God's word, helping them process it, helping them actually think about it. Right? Mhmm.
Speaker 2:That that is something that they're gonna use whenever they're adults. And, like, when when they do go through hard times and when they are out on their own, like, this this practice can prepare them to, hey. Whenever I have questions, whenever I'm feeling discouraged, I can open up God's word, and I know how to write that scripture on my heart. I know how to let that inform my decisions or things like that. And so yeah.
Speaker 2:So, so that's God's word. Obviously important. Right?
Speaker 1:Yes. Very.
Speaker 2:So time, prayer, worship, thanksgiving, the bible. And then last one, which I think is one of the most important things and also one of the things that can just be a really fun activity is community. Right? And I think one of the most powerful things that you can do with your mentee is to introduce them to other adults who love Jesus. So perhaps whenever you're hanging out with your friends, invite your mentee along.
Speaker 2:And, like, yeah. Like, it might be a tad bit weird, but I promise you, one, that they're gonna have the time of their life. But 2, that they're gonna feel like a $1,000,000. Like, they're gonna feel so cool if you invite them to hang out with you and your friends.
Speaker 1:That's awesome.
Speaker 2:And, like, it will teach them what proper godly relationships are all about. Because I know for guys like, I have guys who are 15, 16 who, like, they think all men do is watch sports. All men do is drink beer or smoke cigars or talk about girls. Right? Mhmm.
Speaker 2:But if you can get them around other men and y'all are actually encouraging each other or y'all are talking about Jesus or y'all are talking about ways to become, you know, a better follower of Jesus or a better husband, You're modeling that so that when they do get older, like, that's what they're looking for. And that they they don't just fall into the trap of, oh, well, all men just watch sports and drink beer and talk about girls or complain about their wives. Right? And so I just think that this is so very important. Also, like, involving your friends, whether it's your church group or your neighbors or whoever.
Speaker 2:Like, it gives them an opportunity to be a mentor to your kid as well. Like, yeah, he they might not be a mentor that shows up each week. But if my mentee is seeing my best friend every month and I'm with my mentee for 10 years, well, at the end of 10 years, he's gonna know my best friend pretty well. And that's just one more person that he can look to and say, that's how a godly man acts.
Speaker 1:That's good.
Speaker 2:There's so much value in that. Mhmm. I
Speaker 1:think another good idea is, like, I've seen a lot of guys and girls from different church groups go and mentor together. So they'll say like, oh, we're going to go and mentor through this organization together. And so if you're both doing it, you can, you can make your mentees friends too. And so you can have a double date, have a double mentor date with you and your best friend and both of your mentees and starting to when they both see your friendship, they will start to want deeper friendships with their peers too. And they will start to see, oh, Zach and Steven have an awesome friendship.
Speaker 1:Like, maybe me and Johnny can have this kind of friendship too. And that's just an if you're in that position, that's just an easy way to to bring more kids into community.
Speaker 2:Alright. So the 5 things, time, prayer, worship, bible, and community. And, like, here's a here's a great way. Here's, like, the perfect scenario. Right?
Speaker 2:Like, you pick up your mentee. Hey, dude. How's it going today? Oh, it's going great. Hey.
Speaker 2:What are three things that you're thankful for? And then you worship God for that. Man, Lord, thank you, Jesus. You guys keep talking. Maybe it's over dinner.
Speaker 2:Hey. What are 2 things that I can be praying for you about? What's one thing that I can pray? Hey. What's one thing that isn't going the way that you want it to?
Speaker 2:And is it cool if I pray for that? And then pray. Maybe on the car ride home, it's, hey, man. Whenever I've been spending time with God in the mornings, I can't stop thinking about this one saying. Right?
Speaker 2:The Lord is my rock. Tell me what you think about that. Tell me what that means to you. And then you hear what it means to them. And, well, here's what it means to me.
Speaker 2:You guys can have a conversation about that. And then finally, hey, man. Before I drop you off, is it cool if I stop over at my friend's house for a minute? Hey. How about you come in with me?
Speaker 2:Or is it cool if my friends join us for dinner? Right? And, like, yeah. Like, that's an ideal scenario where, like, all 5 things are Yeah. Going on.
Speaker 2:Like, I totally get that that's not gonna happen each and every time. But what I am saying is, like, I don't think it's super complicated to involve these things in your relationship. It is, however, it does take intentionality.
Speaker 1:Right. Thoughtfulness.
Speaker 2:It does take effort. Mhmm. And just, like, we have to keep in mind the end goal, and that's we want our mentees to love Jesus Christ, to be a disciple of Jesus, to follow him. And they're not gonna learn it on their own. The only way that they can learn how to follow Jesus is if someone teaches them.
Speaker 2:And so, yes, it takes intentionality. Yes. It takes, like, fighting through some pretty awkward moments. But when our man Humphrey is 30 years old and someone asks him who taught him how to love Jesus Christ, I really hope that he says, I learned by spending time with Zach. And, like, if that's not adding, like, crowns or if that's not adding stones into your crown in heaven, I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2:Right?
Speaker 1:It's awesome.
Speaker 2:Because that is the end goal. Right? It's to make disciples. And, yeah, it's mentoring, da da da, but, really, it's all about just teaching a kid how to love Jesus. So that's all that we got today.
Speaker 2:You know how to invite Jesus into your mentoring relationship and Your
Speaker 1:mentor party.
Speaker 2:Your mentor party. And I hope that you guys enjoyed it. I hope that you took something away from it. And, if you didn't hear one thing that we talked about today, hear this.
Speaker 1:You can mentor.
Speaker 2:That's right.