Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
The Moonshots Podcast goes behind the scenes of the world's greatest superstars, thinkers and entrepreneurs to discover the secrets to their success. We deconstruct their success from mindset to daily habits so that we can apply it to our lives. Join us as we 'learn out loud' from Elon Musk, Brene Brown to emerging talents like David Goggins.
[Music]
hello and welcome to the moonshots
podcast it's episode 197
i'm your co-host mike parsons and as
always i'm joined by mark
pierson-freeland good morning mark good
morning mike i mean this is a great
exciting dare i say happy day for us as
we're digging into another fantastic
show on in the happiness series however
mike we are coming to the end of this
series today aren't we
oh no um well the only way
our expert today would have us
process that information is in a happy
way
let us turn ourselves for one last time
to
this idea of happiness and what are we
going to do today today listeners and
moonshots members we are digging into
sean acker's the happiness advantage
sean acker is perhaps doesn't need too
much of an introduction actually mike he
has one of the most popular talks ever
on ted's channels he was a teaching
assistant to another moonshot member
talben shahar he did a popular happiness
course where shawn was one of the
teaching assistants
as well as a huge learning class with
oprah winfrey so sean is is pretty well
embedded in what i would call the
happiness space and i think he's a
perfect bookend for the end of our
happiness series because he touches on
some of the frameworks ideas approaches
that maybe we've heard from some of the
other individuals within the series
but he also brings to light a handful of
really interesting new ideas frameworks
and even mindsets that i think you and i
and the listeners can really learn from
yeah so i think coming up for us on this
show we have got perhaps one of the best
articulations of
uh perhaps the theme of the series and
so you know shauna aker he's gonna bring
it home and really kind of wrap up this
ah-ha that we've been having throughout
the series but importantly he's not just
stopping there he's going to go into
some really cool techniques some habits
the tetris effect the fulcrum and the
lever
falling up so if this all sounds
interesting to you if you want to bring
it home on happiness at the end of this
series then stay tuned to the happiness
advantage with sean aka it's all there
for us to enjoy so
mark
this has been a big series we're about
to close it in a very big way
why don't you guide us mark where do we
begin well we need to hear from the
author himself
sean who's done all this incredible
amount of research at harvard studies
with test subjects around the world we
need to hear from sean himself and how
he believes and he wants all of us to
start doing is starting with happiness
and following success second
here's how we get to health we need to
reverse the formula for happiness and
success
in the past three years i've traveled to
45 different countries working with
schools and companies in the midst of an
economic downturn and what i found is
that most companies and schools follow a
formula for success which is this if i
work harder i'll be more successful and
if i'm more successful then i'll be
happier that undergirds most of our
parenting styles our managing styles the
way that we motivate our behavior and
the problem is it's scientifically
broken and backwards for two reasons
first every time your brain has a
success you just change the goal post of
what success looked like you got good
grades now you have to get better grades
you got into good school and actually
get a better school you got a good job
now you have to get a better job you hit
your sales target we're gonna change
your sales target and if happiness is on
the opposite side of success your brain
never gets there what we've done is
we've pushed happiness over the
cognitive horizon as a society and
that's because we think we have to be
successful successful then we'll be
happier but the real problem is our
brains work in the opposite order if you
can raise somebody's level of positivity
in the present then their brain
experiences what we now call a happiness
advantage which is your brain positive
performs significantly better than it
does negative neutral stress your
intelligence rises your creativity rises
your energy levels rise in fact what we
found is that every single business
outcome improves
your brain and positive is 31 more
productive than your brain at negative
neutral or stress you're 37 better at
sales doctors are 19 faster more
accurate at coming up with the correct
diagnosis when positive instead of
negative neutral or stress which means
we can reverse the formula if we can
find a way of becoming positive in the
present then our brains work even more
successfully as we're able to work
harder faster more intelligently
what we need to be able to do is to
reverse this formula so we can start to
see what our brains are actually capable
of because dopamine which floods into
your system when you're positive has two
functions not only does it make you
happier it turns on all the learning
centers in your brain allowing you to
adapt to the world in a different way we
found that there are ways you can train
your brain to be able to become more
positive in just a two-minute span of
time done for 21 days in a row we can
actually rewire your brain allowing your
brain to actually work more
optimistically and more successfully
we've done these things in research now
in every single company that i've worked
with getting them to write down three
new things that they're grateful for for
21 days in a row three new things each
day and at the end of that their brain
starts to retain a pattern of scanning
the world not for the negative but for
the positive first journaling about one
positive experience you've had over the
past 24 hours allows your brain to
relive it exercise teaches your brain
your behavior matters we find that
meditation allows your brain to get over
the cultural adhd that we've been
creating by trying to do multiple tasks
at once allows our brains to focus on
the task at hand and finally random acts
of kindness or conscious acts of
kindness we get people when they open up
their inbox to write one positive email
praising or thanking somebody on their
social support network and by doing
these activities and by training your
brain just like we train our bodies what
we found is we can reverse the formula
for happiness and success and in doing
so not only create ripples of positivity
but create a real revolution
mark i listened to this clip and i'm
like i've got it all wrong in life
oh
yep oh
so so
what seanacre does in his book the
happiness advantages advantage is he
basically frames how so many of us and i
will admit how i have often thought
which is if i work harder i'll be more
successful if i'm more successful then
i'll be happier and he's saying
ladies and gentlemen you need to invert
you need to reverse all this way of
thinking
and bring the happiness to the front
and the success and everything else will
follow later
mark
do you think you could admit you've
fallen for this big trap that sean aiker
points out well i mean look i'll i'll
listen
and whisper between friends you know
it's not like
it's not like you and i have a handful
of listeners as well uh i am very guilty
of it um i i have been for probably i i
would say most of my childhood and adult
life in fact
but i would say the
direction that shawn's taking us here is
specifically around success you know you
don't want to be chasing that promotion
that pay rise or that new job in a new
situation or new business but for me
actually mike i go one step further when
it comes to the idea of happiness and
actually i've been guilty in the past of
looking to maybe purchase something like
a car or maybe it's a new phone or
whatever it is something that i think
will make me happy but the truth is
exactly as sean's breaking down in that
first clip once you get it are you happy
maybe a tiny bit but then you're always
going to be looking for the next thing
so this constant
chase this constant road that we're
trying to almost sprint down in order to
get success or be seen as successful
you know we're really starting to see
the ego i think come through with
regards to the idea of happiness here
instead you flip it around and starting
with happiness i mean mike i don't know
whether i've
really thought about doing that before
have you
um
well you know i it's it's hard for me
uh to answer the question in that way
because i look at what he's proposing
as things that we can do and we're going
to break all of these down uh throughout
the show
many of the things he talks about
journaling
writing exercising meditating
those are things that are in my daily
practice
but here
is where i had a big gap
is
it is my
choice
right now i can smile that's a choice
and that was something
where you know he was talking about
happiness first success
second
i think i was doing
some of the practices to bring happiness
but i wasn't deliberately choosing for
the happiness i was deferring it much
like he talked about in that clip
and what the
the most powerful thing not only in
shaun aker's work but in many of the
people we've studied they're saying
choose for happiness
now
and it can be happiness that the coffee
you're drinking tastes great
or that it's ridiculously sunny and it's
the middle of winter
or that i have the chance
to sit with a friend
and talk about happiness for an hour how
good is that no deferrals needed right
there
and this is where we touch upon mindful
mindfulness practices which i think are
essential in unlocking happiness as a
practice in the here and now
so i think that's the the help that i
needed like i can smile and it's so
funny when you just like you can walk
down the street and you can
be frowning
you can be blank or you can smile and
the crazy thing is if you choose to
smile and if you just choose to
appreciate something around you
how powerful that can be in realizing
happiness
just right now and it doesn't have to be
such a big
thing way off in the horizon does it
well yeah and i think you've touched
upon it really well there it isn't this
huge
aha moment a singularity that one day
you might reach i mean you know say when
you retire
you know i'll be happy when i retire so
it's always this
big
moment or event monumental life changing
but instead exactly as you've said mike
it's as simple as sitting here smiling
while we record it's as simple as
walking to the coffee shop maybe smiling
at a neighbor
and all those small little things that
seem inconsequential and pretty small
not big enough to maybe write a book
about but compoundly when they're all
put together
i mean i feel pretty good when i go out
and see
somebody out in the street and they're
smiling if i see somebody else's happy i
feel that a little bit more happy if i'm
positive or pleasant to other people
generally they're pleasant back and this
formula suddenly
in for me switches and then i start
thinking okay well actually it is
achievable to have that small injection
of happiness here and there it isn't
just one big thing that we're all
running towards towards our i know
that's something we can inject right
here right now and much like anything
else like working out at the gym
happiness is something you can work on
and you can do every day and you'll feel
better every day and it can just be
small things
smiling being grateful these sort of
habits and behaviors that we're going to
talk about a lot on this show but the
thing is if you do it regularly
throughout the day
on regular days throughout the week
throughout weeks in months months and
years
it's when you get to the other side of
that that you go
wow
i just feel
really good i feel
happy i feel a sense of abundance you
know around me
but
the
the thing is we kind of it looks like
one of those
city horizons way off in the future
and what the invitation on this show
today is going to be is to bring the
happiness advantage
into your daily your hour practice bring
it into the moment
is what is so powerful and why we chose
to put sean acre as sort of the closing
thoughts on a world of happiness to
bring a smile to your face and mark i
tell you there's a whole bunch of people
who've got a smile on their face too
isn't it they're so right these
individuals have not only put a smile on
their own faces but certainly a smile on
all of the moonshots family on this side
of the microphone as well so without
further ado
in fact i better do two trumpets because
i missed it last time
we are welcoming
we are welcoming bob niles john terry
nile marjalyn ken and dietmar marjan
connor rodrigo and yasmine lisa and sid
maria and paul burke calman david and
joe crystal ivo christian and hurricane
brain samuella kelly barbara and bob
andre matthew eric and abby jose and
joshua chris and kobe damien and deborah
gavin lasse steve craig lauren javier
daniel andrew ravion avert as well as
our brand new members lgv and susan
welcome to the happiness around the
moonshots show thank you for joining us
i wonder what the lg v stands for what
do you think loving
good vibes oh yes
that's in keeping with the series i
think um yeah super uh super delighted
to see that we've crossed the big 50
mark um in our patreon members we're
very grateful for the support that you
give to us and it's just a little token
from you towards us saying hey i'm
digging the moonshots vibes the
happiness vibes so thank you so much
um
super grateful and we hope that you're
enjoying
your uh vip exclusive moonshots master
series that you can get if you are a
member on patreon and if you're
interested in becoming a member if
you're sitting there saying i'm feeling
the vibe
uh head over to moonshots dot io click
on the members
button and all shall become yours we've
got a very deep uh back catalogue of
goodies and content in you can ask us
questions and we answer we're actually
good on the old emails so that's all
part of being a member of the moonshots
podcast so
super grateful
to
you
now mark with all that gratitude uh
swelling inside of us with all of this
happiness that we've been indulging in
for for many many weeks i think it's now
time for us to turn
towards how we should approach
happiness how do we unlock the happiness
advantage mark in this great book by
sean acre well i think what's
fascinating and brilliant about sean's
book is he delves into quite practical
let's call them uh formulas uh equations
but also behaviors around your physical
behavior as well as your behavior around
mindset so first of all let's hear from
sean again talking around how your
appearance and your approach towards
happiness and the way that you process
the world all begins with something
called the fulcrum and the lever so what
we've been looking for what are some
very practical things that people could
do to change the way that they view the
world and what we found is your brain
has only a limited amount of resources
to think about your world your life your
family what's going on and that you see
happening in the media and what happens
is that if our brain goes first for the
negatives your brain has literally no
resources left over to scan the world
for the things we're grateful for or the
meaning in our life so what we started
realizing is as people were constructing
this picture of reality that there were
actually multiple realities that you
could construct in every moment and then
we could help people actually start to
pick the most valuable reality of the
time the reality that helped move them
forward and help them to either be
happier or more successful or both so
for example one things we had people do
is a very simple activity called the
advantage points technique and what we
have people do is think about something
that they normally think about is
frustrating or negative like their
overflowing
uh inbox with their emails or or dirty
dishes in the sink when i talk to people
about dirty dishes and sink they think
that's the opposite of happiness but
what we found is even within those
moments we're finding that
most people when they describe it
they'll describe things like you know
it's a chore it's dirty it's constant i
can never keep up with it both of all
those different types of descriptors are
negative and it causes us to feel like
we don't want to do that work and we
don't do it we're slower towards doing
it and afterwards we feel frustrated
that we have to go through the process
what you have people do is do something
different you can think of all those
negative descriptors but in one minute
we have somebody think of every
descriptor they could possibly think for
that activity they get one point for all
the negative ones and three points for
any positive ones so about halfway
through that minute with dirty dishes
for example people start thinking things
like it's an opportunity to feel
productive or it's an opportunity to
show love to my spouse and what happens
is if we have those multiple visions if
we could view something like doing dirty
dishes in the sink if we could do dishes
in the sink as an opportunity to show
love what happens is not only do we feel
happier through the process your brain
actually has more energy for doing it
you're motivated towards it when you
finish you actually feel rejuvenated
instead of tired so simply changing the
way that we think about things to choose
the positive path actually helps even
the most negative tasks become
something that can create happiness
well mark this is a fantastic shift this
is what we love on the moonshots podcast
is when you actually
you you listen to the idea and the
happiness advantage you're like yeah
that sounds great but how do i do it and
this idea of the fulcrum in the liver is
where it really sort of transitions
between how you think about it and
things that you can go and do
mark when we go about using this
approach the fulcrum and the lever where
do we start how do you start doing this
in your day well for me i start to
really consider and this is how i
interpret it
i really sit back and i consider
what are the things that i am
seeing around myself
that are perhaps impacting my
mindset
so some of those things might be
positive
some of them might be negative but what
i try and do is maybe objectively look
at that maybe it's stresses with work
maybe it's
an item on the to-do list like prepare a
moonshot show maybe it's something i've
got to do around the house
and then i'll start to objectively think
about each of those items and think okay
well how do they make me feel are they
stressful moments maybe the work thing
is stressful okay well let's dig into
that maybe there's an element of
excitement that i can instead pivot
around and i can start weighing up the
items that are causing me that little
bit of maybe anxiety or feeling a bit
uneasy and instead try and shift them
into something that's a little bit more
i would say proactive maybe a little bit
more positive
and then what you start to do and then
as i've tried to practice these a little
bit this week is you start to move away
from the items that are really causing
you that stress that anxiety you know
what we might say keeps you up at night
and instead you're starting to see
there's much uh more weight i suppose
you could say in the positive stuff the
things that are around you that you've
got to do maybe it's fixing your house
well this is great my tap will start
working again or the moonshot show i
love doing moonshots this is great and
suddenly those things that maybe
upon initial review were things that you
kind of wanted to put off until later
but actually when you start to do it and
you start to think about them from a
a happiness or positive perspective it
suddenly feels that a little bit more
exciting to try and do what how do you
interpret them mike yes so
um definitely there is this
um little thing that i do whereas if i
feel find myself
judging or being negative i try to kind
of
the best way i can describe it is to
build like an allergic reaction
no no like um
i try and become
very uh aware
of if i just allow
that little
voice
uh in the back of my head
allowing any sort of judgment or
negativity
so a great example is if someone does
something
then you know
don't be in a rush to assume malice like
if someone does something that has a
negative effect on you
well you know step back and say well
maybe there were things happening that
i'm not aware of right
um and you'll be amazed at how on how
many times
we
choose to perceive something as
um
a deliberate
negative thing that someone has done
towards us but in actual fact it was
just an honest
mistake
and the difference on the energy that i
spend on something that's just anonymous
an honest mistake versus some you know
form of hard hardship inconvenience
whatever like if if you just go oh it
was probably just this benefit of the
doubt
the thing is you save yourself all of
that energy of like
god damn what the f you know like all of
that energy that would happen if if you
were taking things so personally and
this is a choice
and that to me
is where
you can
rise above like um michelle obama in her
show
talked about when they go low we go high
that's a choice
and that costs you a lot less
than spinning your wheels in negativity
judgment you know just really
unhealthy thinking patterns
and if you continue
to
say
i'm gonna take
a
different i'm going to avoid these
negative thinking patterns
and you're going to take
a bias towards happiness a bias towards
positivity that is a choice and you
create
positivity momentum for your self
you spend your energy going forward
rather than being dragged back into the
past
digging up old slights problems debts
you know whatever it is
that that's a choice and i think that
what happens over time if you
continually
stop yourself from judging or thinking
negatively
and choose to create a reality of
happiness
then in fact that spreads so let's say
you you focus on that in the morning
then you know inevitably the afternoon
is going to be pretty good too
but also likewise mike if i'm in a well
of self-pity in the morning it's pretty
hard to transition into like a fabulous
happy afternoon isn't it well i mean
look we've heard from individuals like
william h mcraven telling us to make our
bed in the morning and i think the
insight around that behavior is actually
pretty similar to what we're discussing
here
it really depends on how much control
you take around the way that you
a behave and then b
visualize or see
that world around you because those are
the things that you can control you
can't control whether your drill
sergeant is gonna bury you up to your
neck in sand
as part of an exercise you can't control
if somebody's gonna cut you off
in their car you can't control if you
are going to receive maybe a maybe a bad
email or a message and like you say it's
because everybody else has their own
things going on as well
but the reality that we carve out of
those situations is then something that
we can control we can't control how
other people are reacting to things but
we can control how we react to things
and what i think to build on what you
are saying is this reality is just your
kind of understanding of the world and
if you can change that if you can
recognize
the way that you are behaving the way
that you interpret things through
reflection and we'll come on to some of
these in a minute
then you can start to change that
perspective and i think that's the
bigger hall for me during this series
this idea of perspective how you view
happiness how you can try and
start to take that little bit more let's
say ownership or engagement around
happiness in order to go out and feel
that little bit better well let's let's
take one uh another show i think that is
the absolute epitome of this which is
yoko willing extreme ownership yeah and
something that we always have a lot of
fun with is in our navy seal voices
when yoko says uh
the world's against you
things are uh are not going your way
the way you respond is
problems
good
right and and that really is it you can
say
problems oh this is really bad oh man
man stuff is falling apart
or you can say you know what okay
there is something inside of this that
is going to teach me help me grow help
me learn and i'm not saying for a moment
that it's easy
but what i'm saying it is it is a choice
you can go about
stretching yourself
embracing life because things are always
going to go wrong in life
and you can go
and say when these things happen you say
okay good there is for some reason
this is happening for me
and
i'm going to choose to see this as an
opportunity for growth and i'm going to
do everything i can to make this a
positive and if you get on the really
if you get through that
you can then get into the goggins sphere
and that is where you actually search
out
hardship
challenge you search for your boundaries
and you go beyond
this is the highest level of performance
where you not only when things don't
quite go as planned you're like okay
we'll get through this there's something
in this it'll be okay
problems good but then you can go hey
i am going to search out challenge i
ain't going to get so comfortable with
discomfort a la joe rogan
that you're going to go search our big
challenges and you're going to enjoy
being on that edge because you know
that's where all your personal growth
and potential is
so this is where sean acres thinking
goes far beyond happiness but we can go
right up into
self-actualization right at the top of
maslov's period and that i think is
super exciting that is really the
at the
the destination here is is far beyond
overcoming challenge and having a happy
disposition but you can really be
well and truly mark the very best
version of yourself and i think that's
very exciting but that ain't all we can
learn from sean acre is it no absolutely
not
i think building on where you were just
breaking down in terms of
seeing the world around you almost
visualizing how you see those challenges
and those problems good let's hear again
around the book of happiness advantage
this time told from one of our favorite
youtubers productivity game who breaks
down sean's idea of the tetris effect
at a study at harvard medical school
researchers paid 27 people to play
tetris for multiple hours a day three
days in a row for days after the study
some participants literally couldn't
stop dreaming about shapes falling from
the sky they couldn't stop seeing their
world as being made up of a sequence of
tetris blocks one participant said that
he would go outside for some fresh air
after work rub his eyes and look up at
the philadelphia skyline and wonder if i
flipped the victory building on its side
would it fit into the gap between the
liberties one and two
what this study shows is that when we
have repeated exposure to something it
spills into our daily experience
changing the way that we view situations
in our daily lives we have the
opportunity each day to activate a
tetris effect of opportunity this could
mean constantly surrounding yourself
with stories of perseverance and success
for me this involves listening to books
in my vehicle about successful
historical figures like ben franklin and
winston churchill we're listening to a
podcast on personal development while
working around the house
each moment we have an opportunity to
condition ourselves with positive
resources that increase our ability to
naturally see more opportunity around us
oh
ah mark this one i mean for me
this is priming your subconscious this
is something that we learnt
uh from napoleon hill think and grow
rich
but i cannot begin to tell you the power
of manifesting imagining visualizing
embracing a practice of happiness of
resilience of strength of determination
it's not only something you can use for
happiness this tetris effect but i
believe if you want to
be a well-rounded
thriving individual
then you can
daily repeat and manifest
how you choose to be in the world and i
think happiness is a key part of it
don't you
i think this
approach this tetris effect idea
is a huge
um
element mechanic framework practice that
we can take away from sean acres book
i think the and i i've been guilty of
this mic before and i'm sure you have
and i'm sure lots of listeners when
you're really stressed about something
when maybe when you're feeling in the
dumps or you've got you know this thing
hanging over your head
i tend to dream about it i'll think
about it and maybe i'll obsess over it
and i'll dream about it and i love this
experiment they did at harvard very
simple play tetris suddenly it spills
into your real life
if i'm
immersing myself as we've been
discussing on the show in
uh stressful uh dark thoughts you know
are life's so unfair
oh i wish i didn't have to deal with
this i'll put it off until tomorrow and
you make excuses and you
the world is against you what naturally
happens
well it's like coffee you know it's kind
of percolating away isn't it it's
staying there nowhere to go whereas and
it's just getting stronger and stronger
for me this is such a
vivid and useful visualization that
proves the value of
daily mantras
riding down into your todoist which is
what i do things that inspire me about
working hard maybe it's being positive
maybe it's being efficient
and occasionally
looking back at them
i think journaling or reading plays a
huge part as well just surrounding
yourself in these pretty positive
practices that start to as sean calls
out train the mind
into recognizing panning recognition
into noticing those things that kind of
make you feel
maybe it's happy maybe it's positive
maybe it just puts a smile in your face
and then it starts to have that positive
effect on everything else you start to
notice it more much like we were
learning with dalai lama it's this it's
this
topic or this habit that once you start
doing it it gets stronger and stronger
you get better at doing it like you've
already already said mike it's a muscle
that needs trained and this idea of
conditioning your mind to view the world
in patterns
in order to train it to see what i want
it to see the positive blue sky
the smile on my partner's face maybe
it's my dog whatever it is these small
things that at the time seem pretty
small once you start to build them up
into a very positive almost tetris
effect again building on that
visualization for a second it makes the
whole and i think that's such a fun
pattern and behavior that we can do not
only for our mindsets but also things
that we can put into practice each day
what are you what come are you feeling
the tetris effect like i am
yeah look i'm i'm
very big on listening to and repeating
mantras
every single day and it was a technique
that i developed from reading uh think
and grow rich by napoleon hill
he talks about you have to prime your
subconscious
to
want
live breathe
your success realizing your potential
and a great example was
in the
months before i ran my first marathon
this year
i
visualized committed to repeated a
promise to myself
that i would run
that race and i did it i didn't stop
thank goodness because i was a bit
knackered mark but the point is this
i was of no doubt
that i would run that race because for
months and months i was repeating i will
run
42 kilometers and i said it every day
so like
this is the tetris effect it just
infuses it it goes from conscious to
subconscious
and that's the compound effect if you
really work on things
you can um every single day this is why
we love atomic habits because it's all
about not just building habits it's
about building a lifestyle and what i
would propose to you mark this tetris
effect is part of it the other part of
it i think might be listening to the
moonshots master series what do you
think yes i think you're right i think
one of the things that puts a smile on
my face is being able to open up my
spotify or any podcast app and actually
go out and and seek out the moonshots
master series particularly when i'm
fancying a bit of a deeper dive into
topics like minds into first principles
managing people motivation
uh all sorts of interesting details into
habits like we love to talk about as
well as communication mic
yes so here's the thing maybe patreon is
not your thing but for more than 40 000
of you
spotify is
so if you actually
go into your spotify app
you can actually get access
to the moonshots master series you can
subscribe to that so you can get it all
in the same place now you can go and do
it in patreon but mark why don't you
walk us through how do we find this
moonshots master series on spotify it's
it's pretty simple actually you pop open
your spotify like a lot of us 40 000 of
us in fact are doing when we're
listening to the weekly show and you go
up to the search bar and type in
moonshots master and that should come up
pretty easily i don't think there's
anybody else out there connected with us
now when you're in there you can see a
series of episodes some of them have a
little icon say paid some of them are
free trailers but if you click on the
about section and see more there'll be a
link
it'll say something quite inspiring
about the deep dive that we do into the
entrepreneurial growth area but also a
url to anchor.fm where any of us can
become a paid subscriber now we're going
to continue obviously offering patreon
of course but this is going to be a
brand new way for those who want to
maybe stay in the spotify ecosystem
where you can subscribe to the moonshots
master series
very very handy way so if you're into
spotify and you want to pick up the
master series jump in there into your
search bar
and get loaded with
massive deep dives into
the moonshots model all of these
practices to learn out loud together to
be the best version of yourself and we
have not stopped the learning with sean
aeker and the happiness advantage and
we're going to do something in a second
that sounds really weird mark you're
going to have to help us out he's he's
going to talk about falling up what's
all that about well it's gonna be a
tricky one isn't it but particularly
when we're thinking about the uh the
opposite side of happiness where you
feel like you're falling down so in this
next clip we're gonna hear from
earningability who's breaking down and
discussing shaw's idea of this idea of
falling up but also this concept of
prioritization of happiness
now no matter how hard you try to be
positive bad things are going to happen
to you
and when stress and crisis hits our
brains map different paths to help us
cope
you've heard the saying what doesn't
kill you only makes you stronger
that's only true if you view those
crisis points as an opportunity to grow
and develop
when being sent off to battle soldiers
are regularly told by their doctors that
they'll either come back normal or with
ptsd post-traumatic stress disorder
but acre tells us that there's an often
overlooked third option called
post-traumatic growth
basically the story you tell yourself
about adversity determines how you will
deal with it
people that have a positive explanatory
style interpret adversity as local and
temporary whereas those with a
pessimistic explanatory style see the
events as global and permanent
to help you see a path from adversity to
opportunity
practice the abcd model of
interpretation
adversity belief
consequence and disputation
adversity is what happened we can't
change it
belief is our reaction to the event
which is a conscious choice
our belief leads to a consequence
and if our current belief about the
situation leads us down a path to a
negative consequence we can dispute our
belief because that's all it is
i believe
mark look
if you can
if you can say everything happens for a
reason
and that reason is to serve me
this is the technique on how to do
what shawnee refers to in the happiness
adventures this is how we follow up now
what i think is interesting mark is
often when you know what is hitting the
fan we almost invariably always
um
think oh it's terrible you get stressed
you get anxious and you totally
lack the capacity to see the bright side
right isn't that the enemy here
well i i think that this might be one of
the big uh to build on what we were
saying earlier the bigger ha here
and it's similar to what you were saying
in the previous clip mic this idea of
seeing challenges as opportunities
to say good but i think this again takes
some practice doesn't it because not
only is it something where you're trying
to
see an opportunity for growth from a
particular challenge right this is a bit
tough maybe i'm learning something new
but that's great i can journal about it
later i can reflect on it i can get
stronger for the next time but i think
it's also about reframing
your idea of disregarding certain
situations so exactly as you were just
saying then mike when something hits the
fan
then you naturally kind of want to shy
away don't you it's the fight or flight
yeah yeah you feel as though the only
option
the only desirable option is to flee
i'm gonna
save that problem for another day
tomorrow i'll feel better about it but
invariably you feel exactly the same or
you feel worse the next day because
you've delayed the attention that you
need to give it and for me mike again
going back to the idea of
percolating on something that's quite
negative
when i've got something on my mind that
feels a little bit
uh let's say un-positive maybe it's
something about hitting the fan and i
feel a bit nervous about it if i put it
off for too long you know what happens i
feel worse
and that's because i'm not addressing it
i'm not trying to go out and
and take action over it i think what
where shaun's idea around post-traumatic
growth can really come in here is trying
to reframe that moment of
noticing it feels a bit unpleasant oh
that email that call that conversation
that didn't feel so good
okay
well let's have a think about this let's
reflect on it rather than instantly
you know going uh out and blaming that
person you know whatever
well this really for me
brings us to one of the biggest themes
of the moonshots podcast which is a
growth mindset and we don't have to
avoid failure we can embrace it i mean
some of the arguments i would give you
let's say we failed at something just
then
well at least we know in the future what
not to do
that's like the most pessimistic upside
i can give you on something right
but maybe
this brings me closer
to finding the right answer
right because like let's say there's a
hundred possibilities i tried one far
well at least now i'm down one i'm down
to 99 possibilities yeah fantastic yeah
and this is the same concept i believe
when we come to creating products
and utilizing prototypes yeah testing
and learning yeah and it's okay if it
fails you know we're that much closer to
success but the other bigger thing is uh
something that that click touched on is
well if it doesn't kill me then it's
kind of making me stronger and this
reminds me
of zaha hadid
who as an immigrant woman in the 60s was
learning to become an architect in in
london and you can only just imagine the
challenges she faced getting into that
boys club but then
she decided to bring some radical curvy
organic design shapes to a world of you
know right angles
and uh
her mark has been enormous on the places
uh that occupy our cities and spaces and
environments and shapes and she
transformed architecture
and she literally said every challenge
she met she saw is actually making her
stronger and more capable and i think
that's the the highest form
of this kind of falling up you're
reducing the variables so you know
you're cutting it down like well if that
didn't work at least now i can focus on
other things because maybe they'll work
but more than that you can know that you
have overcome that and you know
when you've just run a marathon mark
one of the most powerful feelings
is like
whoa
that was tough but i did it
and there is a feeling of
completeness
that you cross that line and you're done
you're like you're really done and i've
never experienced done like that before
because
i was so
peaceful that i had ran as hard as i
could
i had to run 42 kilometers or 26 miles
and
i felt
i i wouldn't say that i was like
exuberant
it was even more profound than that
i had planned and worked for months i
had achieved something i had as as they
say in america i'd left it all on the
field like i like i couldn't have gone
you know a second faster
and i was just so
happy so satisfied was it as fast as i'd
wanted to no
um was i saw
yeah
but here's the thing like
i
gave it everything i had a good plan
stuck to the plan got the job done
and yeah next time i'll do it better and
prepare even better
and this to me is at the very heart of
of falling up there were runs in
practice
that really hurt
there was soreness and discomfort that
really hurt but in the end of the day
when you look at something that's very
easy to measure
you ran the race you completed it it was
a very deep sense of happiness and
fulfillment
and that's what's there for all of us
on anything we want to do is see all of
that hardship as falling up and that we
will all have our own marath
post-marathon satisfaction regardless if
it's something in your personal or your
professional life it's all there for the
taking
i think we have to demystify take the
veneer of
how bad failure is and say well good now
i'm that much closer to finding success
and that didn't kill me so i can keep
going so i can take so much from failure
i think you know as you as i'm listening
to you to speak mike something's really
coming back to me and that's the work of
mark manson the subtle art of not giving
up and as you might remember when we
when we did a show on
number 167 i think
he was really helping us
uh compartmentalize
how much we are
influenced by the opinions of others and
i think what might happen when it comes
to let's let's continue the marathon
case
what probably puts off a lot of people
is the perception of others why what
what might they think of me
maybe they are questioning why i'm doing
a marathon maybe they'll be really
interested in my finish time maybe
they'll
think negatively of my training regime
maybe they'll laugh at me behind my back
all of these things that
are going to trip you up and probably
either a make you train poorly
or b not make you take the challenge or
the risk or booking the marathon at all
because you're worried about those other
people and i think isn't it a shame how
much we are influenced and again coming
back to this topic of happiness
well you are influenced by
unless you keep it in check the opinions
of others to the extent that you won't
give yourself a chance at being happy
because you haven't given yourself a
chance to go out and face adversity and
overcome it what a what an ironic twist
that we deprive ourselves of like a
human right of feeling happy
either through fear of failure
self-doubt
um which are just things in your mind
that's the craziest thing
like you might not go out um
to a social event because you're
uncomfortable meeting people you might
not dance on the dance floor because you
don't want to look like an idiot you
might not run a marathon because you
don't want to fail and everybody goes
you didn't finish
who cares yeah exactly who freaking
cares just do it
uh that's the invitation here but our
invitations for
unlocking the happiness advantage map
we ain't done yet
that's right we do have one more clip
don't we mike and actually this one more
clip sadly brings us to the end of this
current series on happiness but don't
you worry listeners and members we have
a stonking bookend to the happiness
series as well as closing the show with
sean acker on the happiness advantage
and that's hearing from the queen of
television and the individual who i
think mike has probably brought to light
a lot of the
members of our moonshots library by now
and that's oprah winfrey so we're going
to hear as closing out the show in
today's episode on the happiness
advantage sean and oprah talking about
cause and effect how do we become
happier today i think that to be to
recognize the fact that this moment the
fact that you got to watch this
conversation on happiness is a privilege
right it's an opportunity that many of
the people in the world didn't get and
we've got to not only be grateful for
that moment but take it to the next
moment yeah then the question why did
that show up in your life right now yes
people needed a little happiness lift
and to recognize that people around us
need to hear what they didn't just get
to hear like if there's somebody in your
life who didn't get to hear about uh
that happiness could be a choice we need
to actually be living models for that
for other people yeah
one of the other things i liked um that
we we we didn't mention before is you
you talk about random acts of kindness
which for years on the oprah show we we
actually created shows around random
acts of kindness and oh my god you want
to feel good about a day right
do just something randomly good for
somebody that they wouldn't expect and
it doesn't have to be like a big gift or
something just a random
gesture it's a happiness multiplier
right because not only does it make you
happy and make those people happy but as
soon as you start talking about even
thinking back to some of those random
acts of kindness we immediately started
to smile yes and what what i love about
it is i remember going to the door
knocking on the door of the woman do you
remember that you're knocking on the
door and saying you have the day off
i've checked with your boss oh that was
such a fun moment first you went ah
slammed into the right hand
yeah
yeah i but the other thing it shows us
is how much power we have we have the
power to actually change the reality we
see around us yeah and one things we've
talked about is that that oftentimes we
just feel like this world makes my
happiness or not like if things are not
going well it's because of what the
world is giving me it's always about
like
a powerlessness compared to our genes or
to our chemicals or to the
environment and what we're finding is
that when you do a random act of
kindness it shatters that because what
it says is whoa i could actually not
only change my own levels of happiness
but i could change them for other people
i'm going to start writing the social
script and i'm going to write a script
that causes people to be able to choose
happiness better
mark cause and effect i mean
this brings a beautiful loop back to the
first clip that we had which is
happiness first success later that's
cause and effect right there isn't it
well and again if in a funny sort of way
it brings me all the way back to that
first episode we did in the happiness
series with dan harris who was always
chasing success
and in doing so he burnt himself out and
then he discovered
these tips tricks and and habits to be
that little bit happier and where we've
ended up here with sean aker is somebody
who devoted his his life his career his
education out happiness and i think it's
it's a funny um
formula or or maybe it's the fulcrum and
lever in fact where we've got sean
throughout today's show talking to us
about how if you start with that
happiness you can influence and change
your reality and what he's covering
there with with oprah not only is this
great little proactive daily tip to do
maybe random act of kindness
whether they're buying a coffee for a
stranger or just opening the door for
somebody whatever it might be it can be
very very small and has a compound
effect but he's also talking about how
we all have the ability to change the
reality that's around us because
ultimately the reality that's around us
is influenced by how we visualize it and
see it how we interpret events and so on
and and i think this clip
has
so much to give us in terms of happiness
but i would argue that this kind of
thinking is that the
highest level of moonshots thinking this
is where
we understand that our situation is our
choice the situation is our
responsibility there is no blame or
judgment for anybody else we can make
that choice if we're not happy make the
choice
start with a smile
start with a random act of kindness
start the ball rolling
continue to do it every single day this
is so moon shots this interconnects with
so many other things that we've talked
about
over almost like 200 shows that let me
tell you
um this to me is like a great way to
bring together the work of of shaun aker
take ownership for it make it a practice
it's like going to the gym you got to do
it every day you got to get that
exercise and flex those muscles
mark this has been a great way to close
out um not only the shaun aker show but
the happiness series
what does it leave
you with what's the one thought that's
going to get more attention from you
after we finish recording
oh i think it's going to be the tetris
effect um
only because well for two reasons one
because it's such a vivid and easy to
understand framework and mindset um hack
i suppose but also it just reinforces
the idea of
reflecting on things quite regularly
revisiting that journal revisiting those
mantras
and trying to focus on the things that
make me happy because they will
ultimately
ladder up maybe it'll complete a whole
line like in tetris
take it one step further but more
importantly it's going to be something
that i'm going to
then uh exist within it'll be something
that's continually on my mind which i
really really like from a positive
reinforcement aspect what about yourself
mike
i'm loving tetris effect i'm loving the
fulcrum and i just love anything that's
sort of taking an idea and putting it
into practice bit of a sucker for that
so i can happily uh swim in those two uh
for days perhaps weeks um after this
show
well mark listen thank you for sharing
your fulcrums and your levers and your
tetris effects and your falling ups
because this has been a delightful one
even might say a happy show and series
and thank you to you our listeners and
our members
today was show 197 where we studied the
work of shawneeker and his book the
happiness advantage and it started with
the fight the battle that when we're in
real
real hard work we think
you know
if i work just a little bit harder i'll
be more successful and if i'm a bit more
successful i might then just find
happiness
well
you're wrong it's happiness first
success second this is the big idea and
it starts with changing your performance
by changing your mindset using the
fulcrum and the lever
and then
you have to understand that you cannot
control the world but you can control
your reaction to it your view
and use that testress effect
and as you go out on the journey every
single day every single week to try and
be the best version of yourself yeah
some things aren't going to happen right
and you have to understand the mantra
everything happens for a reason and that
reason is there to serve me
this is what shawn called falling up and
bringing it home with sean and oprah
together saying this is all about
actions have a direct effect on their
outcomes you're the boss you're driving
it's cause and effect and the choice is
yours
that's so much of what we got from sean
acre and the entire happiness series and
it really truly is what we're all about
here on the moonshots podcast
we're about learning together learning
out loud together so that we can be the
very best happy version of ourselves
okay that's a wrap