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The Noon Hour Of Madness & Mayhem can be heard live on KBEAR 101 weekdays at 12pm MST. Viktor and Peaches talk about a wide variety of topics depending on the day and you never know what to expect!
[upbeat jazz music] The noon hour of Madness and Mayhem, the podcast.
Yo, it's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. What's up, Peaches?
What is happening?
Well, I'll tell you what's happening.
Last night I got to feel-
I said I was gonna tell you what's happening. Uh, I've got nothing happening.
Oh, hold on. I need to fart. H- hang on.
Uh, go ahead. Go ahead and, uh, let her rip. I don't wanna smell it.
Uh, actually, you know what? I'm not going to.
'Cause you're Fish Man. You're the perch man.
[laughs] I'm Aquaman.
No, that's all ... Uh, you're Fish Man. [laughs] Okay, so what were you gonna say?
Uh, I got to f- uh, feel what it's like to be, uh, temporarily rich for a little bit-
Whoa
... because I visited the homie Brian, who lives up on the hill now.
Ooh.
And, uh, I got to see his new place and his backyard, and we got to walk the trail and everything and ... It's a steep incline. It's gonna suck in the winter.
Oh, yeah, dude. Yeah.
There's, there's no way he's gonna be out there walking that trail in the wintertime. You're gonna be sliding on your butt.
Oh, yeah, dude. Living up in the hills around here, it sucks in the winter. I've lived in the hills of Poky during the winter-
Oh
... and, uh, sometimes not fun, especially if you're driving a car with cruddy tires and no four-wheel drive. Uh, yeah.
The en- the, uh, entire time though I was walking, my jaw started to hurt. And I'm like, "Uh-oh, this is a sign of a heart attack. I need to, I need to, I need to watch what's-
Well-
I mean, it's-
What you need to do is stop, you know-
Okay
... doing, you know, too much exercise.
Thanks. Yeah, me, me and Brian. [laughs]
[laughs] Yeah.
But, uh, I was like, "Wait, we're on the hill. The sun's set. It's a, it's a beautiful night. Why ..." Well, like, [laughs] this was-
And you started holding hands with him?
Of course.
[laughs]
We took a selfie together. I mean, we, we, me and you held hands first.
That's right.
I put it in your birthday post.
I didn't say anything wrong with it. [laughs] I was just guessing what happened.
It is June, after all.
[laughs]
So I figured, you know, might as well amp up the bromance.
That's right. That's right.
One time I caught a fish this big, Brian-
[laughs]
... and I did the whole arm around.
[laughs]
[laughs]
Oh.
Now what were you gonna tell me?
Uh, I, I didn't have anything. I was just, you know, being stupid and-
There was nobody-
... barrel rolling over the top of you. [laughs]
Well, just like usual.
[laughs] Did you have more to the story about watching the sunset with Brian?
Well, I was ... I know, 'cause I was so worried about [laughs] ... I was so worried about, like, the heart attack so I'm like, "It's the perfect night to die."
[laughs] Oh, geez.
"The weather's all clear. The sun is setting."
[laughs]
"I'm on the hill overlooking the city." Next thing I know-
"Brian, hold me in your arms"
... I'm, I'm ... Yeah, angels are coming down.
[laughs] [upbeat jazz music] It's the noon hour of Madness and Mayhem. What's up, Peaches?
Nothing. [laughs]
[laughs] We're having some, uh, funny discussions off-air.
Yeah.
Been a weird day. Been a weird day. In our meeting we were even having ridiculous discussions. Felt bad for Melissa sitting there-
Well, the-
... [laughs] having to put up with it
... the change in management has been, uh, the, the best thing ever.
Oh, it's fantastic. We're actually, uh, laughing and smiling around here.
Yeah.
Not living in terror.
Right.
[laughs] It's, uh, it's not too bad.
[laughs] I was wanting to put this on the concert calendar. I was just looking at my camera roll-
Uh-huh
... [laughs] and I forgot this is happening. And I, I was gonna tell Justin-
Oh. That needs to go on the Hawk Whip. Oh, well, the name of the tour-
[laughs] That's what, that's what I'm like, "Justin-
[laughs]
... we, we gotta, we, we gotta do something with this."
Give away tickets to Wheeler Walker Jr.
Yeah.
I bet, uh, K-Bear listeners, that's a country show they would enjoy.
Of ... That was one of the, one of the first songs I ever heard from Wheeler Walker Jr. I can't say the title of it.
[laughs] Yeah.
My friend Dylan, who I worked at In-N-Out with at the time, um, just played it in his truck. And I'm like, "What on earth is this?"
[laughs]
He's like, "It's Wheeler Walker Jr."
[laughs] Yeah, if, if you're wondering who that is, do not play those songs, like, at work or around your family if you're going to check out Wheeler Walker Jr., but that would be a fun show. I, I'd do a K-Bear promotion for a country show like that. Eh.
Well, we're doing a K-Bear promotion for a country show, uh-
Shh. Doesn't get announced until after-
That, that, that's different
... tomorrow.
And, uh, listeners are gonna be like, "What on earth are you guys doing?" But-
Well, we made a great promo for it.
Uh, yeah.
[laughs]
Uh, great used loosely.
[laughs] It's, it's old-
Just like my, uh-
... old-school style K-Bear promo. We haven't done one of those in a while, as far as the recorded, uh, promo goes.
I just remember one time we went s- we went all ... Uh, we had so many promos going to all these over-the-top voices that, uh, I think one guy complained. He's like, "Bring back my K-Bear."
[laughs]
And it was ... [laughs] It's like, what do you mean your K-Bear? It's like, if we're gonna do ... We're, if we're gonna have fun with everything.
Oh, yeah. We used to do ridiculously voiced promos all the time. Uh, kinda like the one that's gonna start airing, uh, Saturday.
Oh, wait till I start doing the promotions on the other station that we're gonna announce on Monday.
Oh, it better get stupid.
It's, it, uh, uh, so I'm, I'm, uh, having Maddie from down the hall, um, write down all the Gen Z lingo-
Oh, nice
... a- and the Gen A lingo, the Forrest Gump generation.
[laughs] Gen I.
The Gen I.
[laughs]
Um, so that way I can put that into imaging for Z103.
Nice.
And it's gonna be, uh, it's gonna be pretty, uh ... We're, we're, we're gonna, we're gonna max it up. We're gonna RF farm.
[laughs] I've had it with maxing everything.
Well, what, what else is there? I, I know b-
How's your tan maxing going, Peaches, by the way?
I haven't used it in a while.
Oh, no.
No, no. I got sunburnt at the farmers market. You think I would be needing to use it? Because my arms are now are all dark compared to, like-
Mm
... the rest ... It looked like the printer ran out of ink again.
[laughs]
Uh, uh, but I'm trying to transform the body itself before-
[laughs] Oh
... I put the tan on.
Then you're gonna rub the tan on.
So that way by the time I turn 30 at the end of August, all of a sudden I look like a new peach.
All right, everybody.
But that's a little ... [laughs]
[laughs] Stay tuned for the new peach. The peach body.
I mean-
He's working on his peach body
... I'm body maxing.
[laughs] I was just looking through the, uh, tabs I left open, Peaches. Um-
Was one of them a suspicious, a suspicious site?
Uh, no. No. None of those.
We were supposed to be doing a whole bunch of fish puns this hour.
We were. Jade's gonna be all mad. "You didn't use my fish puns." Well, sorry, we did enough fish talk during the Victor Wiltch show.
Yeah.
Ah.
We, we, we get it. I, I stunk up the studio. Okay. Whatever.
Yeah. I, I don't smell the sardines anymore.
Right.
So fish talk's over.
I, I think he was overplaying it. I think he was being overly dramatic.
I ... He was. He came in here, like, an hour after I got the bag of garbage out of here and was still like, "Oh, ah, ew, I can't take it. It smells so bad."And I was looking through my tabs, and, uh,
I forgot that I titled my podcast today Boogers Are Tasty and Good For You. [laughs] Did you, uh, read the article floating around about why... Or maybe it wasn't even an article. How did I come across this? But it was somebody explaining-
Maybe because you were, you were eating them?
No. I, I don't know what I was looking at, 'cause you know how well I remember things. But somebody was explaining why boogers are tasty and that, uh, they might be good for you. 'Cause basically the human body I guess makes boogers a little bit, uh, sweet and sugary.
What team of scientists is researching this?
[laughs] Booger eaters. [laughs] But apparently the-
One of them was just went, "Peaches," and just ate it
... it's a, it's a evolutionary thing or something to help us fight disease.
Oh, sure.
'Cause, like, okay, your, your nose hairs are picking up bacteria and things like that, right?
Not me, I rip my nose hairs out.
Oh, [laughs] Peaches-
I just reach in and... [blows nose]
I, I do that sometimes.
So it's like a paintbrush.
When they're getting bad and, uh, I'm not at home, uh, yeah, I'll, I'll rip them out of my face. But basically the boogers build up, and they get a little bit of that, uh, you know, bacteria and pathogens in them and things like that. So by eating them-
Okay
... you're exposing... It's like a natural human body made vaccine.
This is a gr- oh, vaccine now.
[laughs] Yes. And y- by eating your boogers, you're, you're [laughs] getting a little bit of, uh-
#MyMouthIsBoogerFree
[laughs] Peaches-
I'm not getting the, the booger.
Well, and, uh, it makes me wonder, like, should I have been eating my boogers all these years?
Yeah, go for it.
'Cause you know how-
Typical liberal be eating-
[laughs] You know how I manage to pick up, uh, you know, sickness. I, I, I'm just prone to it sometimes. It's, I'm not eating enough boogers and, you know, getting a little bit-
Ugh
... of that, uh, bacteria-
Victor's booger vaccine
... in my body. W- I'm booger vaccing.
Bo- bo- both nostrils.
Bo-
It's gonna be like Lady and the Tramp, but with his nose. He's gonna have snot coming down out of both nostrils into his mouth.
[slurping]
It's like an endless cycle.
That's right.
He's just slurp it up. He's be... [slurping]
You enjoying your lunch, everybody? I hope so, 'cause we're talking boogers today.
What's next? We're gonna floss with our toenails.
Um, you know, that would probably expose you to something bad, I would imagine. Um,
I, I don't know. Let's find out. I- is, um-
[laughs]
... eating toenails bad for you?
Okay. [laughs]
Yeah, I, I just w- I'm just wondering.
Do, do, does it flag our searches here in the studio on the computer?
Um, I, I'd have to ask our IT/engineer/uh, everything Jade.
Yeah.
According to Google AI overview, which is always correct, um, eating toenails is generally considered a bad idea.
But maybe it, like, builds up your immune system because you might have a toe fungus, and you bring in the toe fungus in, into your mouth, then all of a sudden it goes into your digestive system.
Well, yeah, you'd think it would be kinda like eating boogers.
Right. Right on.
You know?
It's like, uh, the movie, uh, Osmosis Jones.
[laughs] Yeah, exactly. 'Cause they're saying right here that your, uh, toenails are primarily vectors for bacteria, viruses, and fungi. But they're like, well, it could lead to j- digestive issues, uh, as well as, uh, infections.
Okay.
I guess if you chew your toenails right off your toe, you could measure cholesterol.
Which one would you rather eat, Victor? Would you rather have your toenails or that one place's pie where they grabbed it with their bare hands and then put it on the plate for you?
Oh, yeah, you know I'm not a fan of, uh, people touching my food with their bare, dirty, filthy hands.
Would, would you rather-
Eat my own toenails?
Eat your own toenails or go into the hot tub after somebody was already in there who didn't shower beforehand?
Hmm.
Toenails gross me out. I think I'd, I'd have to go with I'd eat the pie and then get in the hot tub.
Even the word toenail to me-
Toenails sound disgusting. I mean d- f- that's why I don't get people who are into feet. I just don't get it, you know?
Yeah, let's get Quentin Tarantino on the phone.
Yeah, you know, like, to each their own, but, uh-
Are you into feet?
[laughs]
Let us know, 208-535-1115. We'll make sure to, uh, air out your full name and your, your response. [laughs]
Yeah, like, if you're into feet, that's fine. I just don't get it 'cause feet are, uh, smelly and dirty, and toenails are gross, right? I mean, I, I don't know. We, we don't need to get in a big feet discussion, but yeah.
Pull up feetfinder.com.
Uh, [laughs] no.
[laughs]
I, does that website have inappropriate stuff or just feet?
Uh, it's just celebrities' feet. I'm sure you could type in-
Celebrities' feet?
I'm sure you could type into Reddit, like, a- any celebrity's feet, and it'll pop up.
Probably. Okay, who's someone you think might not pop up? Let, [laughs] let's-
William Shatner. [laughs]
Okay. W- he's pretty old. All right, William-
Well, no, look up Steven Tyler's feet. I know you were, you just, you did a break about, uh, the Bee Gees and their teeth.
[laughs]
Have you ever seen Steve- Steven Tyler's feet?
[laughs] No.
Look him up.
Okay, I did find William Shatner's feet. [laughs]
[laughs]
It's a bigger one, right? [laughs]
Yeah, l- look up Steven Tyler's.
All right. Steven-
That's the worst possible thing you'll be able to see.
[laughs]
Oi.
What's, what's going on with his toe? Why is his feet like that?
[laughs]
He, he got a... He might be a shape-shifting alien.
L- look up LeBron James too.
Th- they said it's caused by decades of dancing and ill-fitting shoes.
Basketball players are known to have horrible, horrible feet because of all the jump stops.
Yeah, LeBron James' feet.
And L- yeah, LeBron's is even worse.
Oh, yeah, he's, ugh. Those are some horrible feet.
Now, are people who are into feet into weird feet or, like, you know, real nice looking feet?
I feel like it would be more so the nicer part.
You think so?
Right? Like, is it they wanna have like a, have it be all pretty and stuff, you know?
A pretty, perfect foot.
Yeah, that's why, like, they, they want women to, like, take care of their feet so that-
Some nice nail polish-
Right
... and blah, blah, blah.
Yeah.
You sand off the dead skin.
Yeah.
You know? Mix it up with some toenails. [laughs]
Well, what, what are those fish called? The garra rufa, the, the one that, uh, like eats the, the, the dead skin off the bottom of your feet.
Oh, I hate that.
Isn't that d- disturbing?
Dude, yeah, I, I would not want that to happen.
I'd be in there smashing all the feet with my, "Get them off. Get them off." [laughs]
Ah, fucking god, feet.
I'm killing them all, and my whole tank is blood red.
Ugh. Dude, why'd you make me look at LeBron's feet? I'm-
[laughs]
See, I am less into feet than ever now. [laughs] [upbeat music] So Peaches, we were talking about eating boogers. [laughs]Eating toenails. [laughs]
Now let's pull up the subreddit r/fiftyfifty and see if we get any gross images.
[laughs] I always forget about fiftyfifty. Okay. I ... This is kind of fun to do sometimes. Uh, is it just five zero five zero or is it F-I-F?
I think it's five zero slash five zero.
Five zero slash five zero.
Okay.
Or maybe it's just, uh, five-oh five-oh. Okay, let's go to that.
Hmm. No, this is not it. This is not the same page.
Dang it.
I don't ... Ar, ar. Let's see. I'll just Google fiftyfifty subreddit.
This is a fun game to play with your family, everybody, by the way, once we find it. Okay, it's, it's spelled out. Fiftyfifty. All right. So
all right, Peaches, fiftyfifty. Peanut butter cake with too much icing or a toilet filled with vomit? What do you think we're gonna get? [laughs]
[laughs] Peanut butter cake. That was too specific.
Ah.
Yeah, I, I agree with you. Peanut butter cake with too much icing. Yep. All right. That ... I wouldn't say that's too much icing, though. That looks-
That looks disgusting.
I like lots of icing on a cake.
That doesn't look like a cake. That looks like a-
It does look like a-
... bad lasagna.
Yeah, or, um, carne asada fries with too much cheese. [laughs]
Oh, like Skyline chili.
[laughs] Hey, fiftyfifty, it's, it's not ... Hold on. We gotta sort by, uh, hot.
Controversial. [laughs]
[laughs] Controversial. All right. Strawberry shortcake or a bloody knee?
Oh. Bloody knee.
I, I think it's gonna be a bloody knee too. Oh, yeah, it was a bloody knee. We're too good at this game. Again, if you wanna play this game with your family, potentially disgusting-
Maybe I should, uh, put in my head, my head scab
Oh, you should. You should post that. Uh, head scab wound or-
Open can of sardines.
Open ... [laughs]
[laughs]
Let's see here. Um, uh, that one says not safe for life, so I'm not gonna click on that one. All right. Cool photo of Master Chief on the Las Vegas Sphere or aftermath of a man getting [laughs] struck by lightning. [laughs]
[laughs] I'm going with Master Chief.
I don't know if I've seen Mas- I mean, it ... Okay, so they got the blurred image. There is something round there.
Oh, yeah, it's definitely the sphere.
It, it-
Come on
... it's too, too, uh, like you said, specific.
Hey.
That is Master Chief-
I'm too good at this
... on the sphere. Yeah. Y- if you're gonna post your own, you gotta make it real vague. You can't be that specific or people are gonna know. All right, Pe- Like this. Yummy birthday cake or dead body? [laughs]
Oh. Uh, it's gotta be dead body.
I ... Ugh.
Show me body.
I bet it's the yummy birthday cake.
It is the birthday cake.
Dang it. I wanted the body.
Oh, we wanted to look at pictures of dead bodies-
Speaking of Show Me the Body, I interviewed their, uh, bassist not that long ago. It's up on our YouTube, KBear101rmg.
Yeah, please check that out. Uh, what do you think this one is, Peaches? A severed hand inside of the forest or a mushroom inside of the forest?
Ooh.
I-
Severed hand.
Let's go with that. No, it's a mushroom.
Oh, come on.
Man. Um, people ... Do you think Reddit flags gore? I-
It never used to. I mean, they, they, they used to have this subreddit that my friend showed me. It was called r/watchmedie.
Oh, geez.
And it was legit death videos.
That sounds terrible. Oh. Okay, this one I can't even read on air. Look at this one, Peaches.
Let's see.
Do you think it's gonna be the red velvet cake or man cut his blank? [laughs]
[laughs] Show me the-
I'm guessing it's gonna be cake. Yeah, it's cake.
Oh, okay.
They're not gonna post that on Reddit.
I would. Come on.
You would? [laughs]
Yeah, sure.
All right, Peaches, I'll leave it.
I'll cut mine up and I'll po- post it. [laughs]
Oh, geez. [laughs] All right, everybody, enjoy your boogers for lunch. Eat some toenails.
I'll do it in front of the mirror with my daily affirmations. [laughs]
[laughs] There you go. Go to the fiftyfifty subreddit and stay tuned for, uh, Perch's, uh, Fish Party.
[laughs]
[laughs] Coming up at 2:00 PM.
It might be named differently after, uh, what I do in it. [laughs]
[laughs] [upbeat music]
The Noon Hour of Madness and Mayhem is a production of Riverbend Media Group. For more information or to contact the show, visit riverbendmediagroup.com. [upbeat music]