Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
What if you could get more of what you want in life? But not through pushing, forcing, or pressure.
You can.
When it comes to money, time, and energy, no one’s gonna turn away more.
And Kate Northrup, Bestselling Author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and host of Plenty, is here to help you expand your capacity to receive all of the best.
As a Money Empowerment OG who’s been at it for nearly 2 decades, Kate’s the abundance-oriented best friend you may not even know you’ve always needed.
Pull up a chair every week with top thought leaders, luminaries, and adventurers to learn how to have more abundance with ease.
My experience is anytime people feel like they've failed at something in the past, they project that in the future. So before moving forward with coaching or change or starting the business again or falling in love, whatever the thing is that they want, they have to confront that misunderstanding that they have past. And then see what can I learn from it to set me up for success moving forward? Yeah. And to have a healthy relationship with failure, that failure is the opposite coin to success.
Alyssa Nobriga:They're the same. Just like unworthiness and worthiness are the same. If you go all the way through, you find the opposite. This is the
Kate Northrup:other side. Hi. This episode is with my dear friend Alyssa Nobriga who has an incredible podcast called Healing and Human Potential. She is a double master's degree therapist as well as a master coach who has certified a thousands of incredible people to use her 5 pillar methodology for true healing and release from their limiting patterns so that they can open up and have the kind of money and freedom and businesses and love and health that they desire. And in this episode, we really dive into her personal story and how she unraveled her financial shame, how she went from $16,000 to $300,000 in profit within a year through actually a process that you too can do.
Kate Northrup:It's not complicated. It doesn't require fancy funnels, and I think you are absolutely going to love learning from Alyssa. Enjoy. Welcome to Plenty. I'm your host, Kate Northrup, and together, we are going on a journey to help you have an incredible relationship with money, time, and energy, and to have abundance on every possible level.
Kate Northrup:Every week, we're gonna dive in with experts and insights to help you unlock a life of plenty. Let's go fill our cups.
[voiceover]:Please note that the opinions and perspectives of the guests on the Plenty podcast are not necessarily reflective of the opinions and perspectives of Kate Northrop or anyone who works within the Kate Northrop brand.
Kate Northrup:Hi. Hi. Thank you for coming.
Alyssa Nobriga:Oh my goodness. I love you.
Kate Northrup:So fun.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. I have a lot of questions to ask you about, like, specifically to fill in. I know about your life now, but, like, I don't know about your life before.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:So we're gonna start there. Okay. Let's do it. Okay. What, like, it you said at one point that, kind of human potential was part of your upbringing, like, part of your childhood.
Kate Northrup:Is that true? Was were were you in one of those, like, personal development y spiritual households? Yes. What was the setup?
Alyssa Nobriga:So I most of my family went through an awakening at the same time without talking to each other. Wow.
Kate Northrup:So we were all Like extended family?
Alyssa Nobriga:No. My core family. My mom, my dad, my brother. I have one brother. My oldest brother is not really into spirituality or personal development, and he's the black sheep in my family because everybody else is, but around this
Kate Northrup:I know.
Alyssa Nobriga:Unusual. And my husband's family is the same way. Everybody except one is into spirituality. So but I and I think I kinda came in with that curriculum, like, that was a very strong intention and way of seeing things, but my I was at the darkest part of my life. My dad, my mom, and my brother was going through a lot of heart, like, health challenges, and all of that led to us questioning reality and who we are and different ways of being, and so my whole family, without talking to each other, started going through an awakening.
Alyssa Nobriga:And for me, I would just look
Kate Northrup:at the moon and question everything, play guitar. That was more my way. Amazing.
Alyssa Nobriga:And my dad got into shamanism. Okay. So, like, he went from being very successful, being an entrepreneur, selling his, starting his own company, doing really well, but being disconnected with his truth and his heart, And so he sold his company at 50 and then became a shaman.
Kate Northrup:Wow.
Alyssa Nobriga:And my mom was into Wayne Dyer and, you know, more like Oprah, like commercial not commercialized, but more popular Totally.
Speaker 5:At the
Alyssa Nobriga:time Yeah. Spirituality. But all of it through suffering from my family. We all just kind of looked within and then started talking to each other about it, and I got into more of the shamanic world at 12.
Kate Northrup:So you were 12? Mhmm. Yeah. Talking to the moon Yeah. Playing with
Alyssa Nobriga:the sun. Everything.
Kate Northrup:What was your like, what was the general nature of your angst at that time?
Alyssa Nobriga:Bullying. So I was bullied in middle school for about a year and a half. That's brutal. It was rough. Like, every day, these girls who some of them are in Hells Angels now, you know, and, like, it was, like, just where'd
Kate Northrup:you grow up?
Alyssa Nobriga:Pleasanton. It's northern Bay Area. Northern California. Northern California. You know, and just, like, just physical threats every day, and so there's a lot of shame that I held, a lot of, like, trying to hide myself, a lot of it was interesting, though, because I remember I mean, this I don't know where we're going, but, like, I remember being I remember, like, having a really deep spiritual way of living without knowing what that meant until I was about 9 and feeling like I wanted to fit in and belong with other kids and I wanted to understand.
Alyssa Nobriga:And so I ended up, kind of choosing into trying to fit in Yeah. And trying on different identities of the skater, the rocker, the cheerleader, none of them fit. And when I was trying to do that, that's when life sort of created some challenges for me to come back to who I am beyond all those identities. Wow. And so I think it was it was rough, but it was also
Kate Northrup:a gift. It was an awakening.
Alyssa Nobriga:It was yeah.
Kate Northrup:And your parents, were they married at that time? Yeah. Right. But they're not now. They're not now.
Kate Northrup:They're not now. When did they get divorced?
Alyssa Nobriga:They split up they separated when I was in high school.
Speaker 5:Mhmm.
Alyssa Nobriga:Like, freshman year. Yep. They took time. They did some deep medicine work, and they went to shamans and therapists and did medicine work and tried to repair it and then got back together, but then ended up divorcing.
Kate Northrup:Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So at what point when you went off Yeah. And left your childhood home
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Did you go to school for psychology?
Alyssa Nobriga:I made up my own major. I knew since I was 12 what I wanted to do, and there was no such thing as coaching. So I was like, okay. I'll I'll be a therapist. Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And when I went to college, there was I knew psychology is not just the mind. Yes. And I knew society made a difference. I knew that religion and spirituality made a difference, so I made up my own major to do sociology, psychology, and religious studies. It was the best undergrad that I've done, and while I was in Peru with my dad, I loved it.
Alyssa Nobriga:I did comparative mysticism, death, dying, and the afterlife, really amazing classes, and then I went to Peru with my dad for a month to do a shamanic journey, and I was So
Kate Northrup:you were, like, in your early twenties?
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. I was 20. 20. Yeah. I was 20, and I told somebody on this journey, this group that we were with that I wanted to do spiritual psychology.
Alyssa Nobriga:I didn't know what that meant. I just knew that those are the 2 things I loved. And somebody said there's a master's program in spiritual psychology. I'm, like, great, and then I found that, but for me, what's always worked was getting clear inside and then finding the option outside because if I just look at what other people do, I'll get overwhelmed with options, and so, yeah, I was one of those rare people that just knew what I wanted to do. And for me, I like changing somebody's life, so I love doing the inner work, but then how does that, like, a real healing
Kate Northrup:process? Manifest externally? Exactly. Right. Because so many
Speaker 5:people are in more traditional forms of therapy for decades decades decades, and they just go
Kate Northrup:in every week and talk traditional forms of therapy for decades decades decades, and they just go in every week and talk about the same thing. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And this
Alyssa Nobriga:was much deeper. So this spiritual psychology was really beautiful, but the thing that was missing for me was somatic work. Okay. So I got my second master's degree in somatic psychotherapy. Wow.
Alyssa Nobriga:Because I I remember opening the refrigerator and telling myself how beautiful my life was and how great I was doing as I was opening the fridge to emotionally overeat, and I was like, wait, there's a disconnect from what's happening in my body and my mind. Wow. So I went back to go get more training, And that's where I started bringing somatic work.
Kate Northrup:For you around this emotional overeating Yeah. I'm really curious about that. Like, what did you notice would be happening for you? Because that's a really common problem that people have.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. And I that emotional overeating happened when I was in the spiritual psychology program. I don't think I understood the window of tolerance and how not to flood myself. So Yeah. Me being very I go all in when I do things, so I went all into my healing.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. But I think I went beyond my window of tolerance and retraumatized myself. Yes. So that's why making sure that people are trauma informed and really understanding when they're tending towards an 8 out of 10 Yep. To stay within that window so they're not recreating the past.
Alyssa Nobriga:So I was using food as a way to self medicate
Kate Northrup:Totally.
Alyssa Nobriga:And nothing's wrong with that. It's like any addiction Yeah. But it's like, oh, what am I really how can I really nourish myself more than food and really learn the tools to navigate within the window?
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Yeah. And, like, physically metabolize stress instead of needing to eat to not feel, which, you know, I've certainly have had that journey myself in various ways. Uh-huh. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:And so what was one of the main things that helped you to unravel that? And I'm sure, you know, listen.
Alyssa Nobriga:I have one thing that didn't change.
Kate Northrup:Okay. Great. You're like, actually, nope. There's one thing.
Alyssa Nobriga:So it was actually a very specific thing that helped me complete emotionally overeating, which was I made a commitment to myself that I knew I was just trying to process my energy using food, but as soon as I would tell myself not to eat, it's almost like I had to eat really fast so my ego wouldn't wake up. I don't know if I
Kate Northrup:In there.
Alyssa Nobriga:Okay. So it's like,
Kate Northrup:like, a 100% fast. Right? Makes literally no sense.
Alyssa Nobriga:And so I'm not enjoying it. I'm in this frantic state. I'm just eating fast.
Kate Northrup:So much worse on your digestion.
Kate Northrup:Let's just throw cortisol
Alyssa Nobriga:on there.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Then your gut is like, I'm gonna stop now.
Kate Northrup:Uh-huh. Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And then and then there would be judgment about it, and then it would go to more eating. So what I did for 1 I started with 1 week. I ended up doing it for 1 month. I made a commitment to myself that if I wanted to stress eat or emotionally eat,
Speaker 5:I
Alyssa Nobriga:would give myself 10 minutes of writing, and I did free form writing where you just speak from the part where it's like I feel and you just get it out. You don't read it, reread it. You just get it out. I'd write over the same piece of paper or the same sentence so I didn't have to reread. It's like taking out the trash, emotionally getting it out, and then I would offer myself compassionate self forgiveness.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. And I would really calm my nervous system by getting all that energy out. And then at the end of that 10 minute process, I would rip it up or I'd burn it over the toilet. I do compassion. And then if I wanted to eat Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:I would let myself slowly enjoy it, and I wouldn't make it wrong if I ate. I had to get out of the right wrong dynamic because that was looping me in it. Or if I didn't wanna eat, I didn't make that better because it was the right wrong and the guilt that was looping me in it.
Kate Northrup:So good.
Alyssa Nobriga:And genuinely after a month, I had a new way to express the emotions Yeah. And I'd no longer needed food to do it. Right.
Kate Northrup:And then food could be food.
Alyssa Nobriga:Then it could be enjoyable.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Totally. Right. It doesn't that doesn't take away the ability to enjoy a beautiful meal or a dessert or just a whatever.
Alyssa Nobriga:Right? With that candle that
Kate Northrup:That black, white, this is good, that is bad really gets us in a trap. Yeah. Really gets us in a trap. Okay. So you did your 2 masters.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:And now you've got now you're a therapist. Yeah. How long did you see patients before you discovered coaching?
Speaker 5:Well, I
Alyssa Nobriga:actually discovered coaching first. Okay. I discovered coaching first, and my one of my friends threw me out there and was like, I got a client for him. Like, great. And so I started doing coaching, gosh, 2006, 7.
Alyssa Nobriga:I don't remember when it was. And and I had already and then and I figured out that I needed to figure out entrepreneurship, and I didn't wanna create clients or I didn't wanna do any of the business things. I was like, I love the inner work and I wanna help people change their lives. So I went back to went into therapy thinking that I would just do insurance and not have to worry about that, and then nobody taught me entrepreneurship, how to create clients. So when I was getting my internship, you have 3000 hours of almost unpaid internship before you get licensed as a therapist in California.
Alyssa Nobriga:So I I did it within 2 years. I hustled. Yeah. And I learned all of it, but I used business as a personal development path. I was like, okay.
Alyssa Nobriga:Making money can be about really using money as a mirror to get free. Creating clients can be about service. How do I bring my values into this? But I I I had to learn by just doing and figuring out my own way, and so I started coaching, went to that.
Kate Northrup:While you were doing those 3000 hours, you started had already started coaching.
Alyssa Nobriga:I'd started coaching before.
Kate Northrup:So that you could have a source of income and not only be doing unpaid labor.
Alyssa Nobriga:I was actually I mean
Kate Northrup:That's my interpretation.
Alyssa Nobriga:Some of that. I was also modeling before, and so, because I really went all into being good at what I love and
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:Helping provide value. Yeah. So that was my main focus. And spirituality, I also saw my dad do really well, but then feel disconnected with the life that he had built. So I was like, I wanna go more towards spirituality and just doing what I love.
Alyssa Nobriga:Mhmm. I didn't really ever care about growing a business or making money until my late 20s, mid to late 20s. What happened then? I got to a place where spirituality was so important and so valuable and there was a point in my own development that I was like, I wanna sink my teeth into all of life and know the divine in all the form and then I was like, okay. Let me use business and money as a path towards that.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And so that was more my interest, like, using business as a spiritual path or personal development path.
Kate Northrup:So cool. Yeah. It was so cool. Yeah. Because you now certify coaches and you work with so many people who are building businesses, bringing in clients, what do you see as, one of or like, you know, top few Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Of the blocks that prevent people from being able to easefully magnetize clients to them?
Alyssa Nobriga:So many, but it's oftentimes these unconscious fears of, I hate putting myself out there, they'll say. But we don't put ourselves out there. We put our services out there. So unraveling who you are from what you do
Kate Northrup:Ugh. So key.
Alyssa Nobriga:Or, like, charge what you're worth. Like That's ridiculous. It's like you are priceless. Yeah. Your services on the other hand
Kate Northrup:are not.
Alyssa Nobriga:You know? Yeah. Right. Really doing the work to unravel some of these things.
Speaker 5:You are
Kate Northrup:worth with your pricing is not the same thing.
Alyssa Nobriga:That's right. And for me, I was I was in poverty level until I started focusing on business, and I would I think I had $16,000 to my name living in Santa Monica. I was sharing a futon with my best friend Wow. Eating power bars. I had so much shame and Really?
Alyssa Nobriga:So much shame, Kate. Like, I felt like I was wearing this invisible cloak, and I don't, you know, I think it was one of the greatest things that ever happened to me because of how I got to transform that, but it was rough for a long time.
Kate Northrup:Did you have shame about living with so little, or did you have shame about the possibility of making money?
Alyssa Nobriga:I had shame about living with so
Kate Northrup:little. Okay.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. And I and I think it was honestly this sense of not feeling good enough, and money was a reflection of that. You know? And I was trying to and I was judging my achievement or this part of me that wanted to play and go full out. And so, you know, the the shame was a doorway to my worthiness, but I didn't see it at the time because I was trying to hustle or or get enlightened or make more money so that I would move beyond it
Speaker 5:Mhmm.
Alyssa Nobriga:Rather than just meet it, and that's when it finally transformed.
Kate Northrup:How did you actually meet it? Like, how do you meet shame?
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. So I know from my own personality, I'm very now because I would say that my life had these two parts where, you know, from Friends, you've got Phoebe, who's like smelly cat. She was like very spiritual that I had that. I was definitely embodying Phoebe, and then the pendulum swung to Monica, and I was like, type a in business, like and I got I
Kate Northrup:can see Phoebe and Monica.
Alyssa Nobriga:Totally. And so, like and they pendulum swung, and then it started integrating, And I really wanted to make sure that I that I stayed true to, like, what this was really about, which was getting free. And so anything that started to contract me, I would go into and started to get mindful with. I forgot what your question was that
Kate Northrup:you were asking me. How do you how do you face shame?
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:So I liked where you went though.
Alyssa Nobriga:My personality That was worth you losing. That's right. My personality though, like, as it started developing, Monica would, try to strategize my way away from feeling shame or or failure.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And so instead of trying to move away from it into strategy, I stopped to feel it Yeah. Fully.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And it's like, ironically, like, that's not as a not as a story, but as a sensation. Yes. You know? And like like a simple story would be, I did a launch and, I put, you know, I put my everything into my certification program, like, really helping people through, this is my labor of love, like so proud of what it is and who my students become. So then I ended up putting a quarter of a 1000000 into, like, scaling it with ads.
Alyssa Nobriga:And I'd done it a few years, so I knew where the metrics should have been. Mhmm. And I got to the day that it was supposed to be the biggest day, and the numbers weren't there and I was deflated. Yeah. And I let myself, I could feel wanting to strategize about how can I make this work and I could feel where it was coming from, avoidance of failure of not feeling good enough?
Alyssa Nobriga:Mhmm. And so I And over coupling
Kate Northrup:results with your worth. That's right. Right? Maybe.
Speaker 5:Yeah. That's right.
Kate Northrup:That's right. Suggesting. Yes. Totally.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. Totally. And there was a there's a there's a truth of, like, this is my dharma. This is the work that I'm here to do in the world, and there's a part that didn't fully let myself feel failure, feel not good enough. I had in the past, but it's not like you do it once.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. And so I let myself just slow down to meet the sensation of not enough, not a failure, and I and I could see the tendency to wanna strategize. Some people go lean towards or just freeze and avoid. So either ways, both are safety strategies. So I let myself fully feel it, and I found a peace and a sin just allowing the sensation of everything that I've been running away from, it integrated my nervous system.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. I felt free. Yeah. I was clear. It was a gift, so that failure was a gift.
Alyssa Nobriga:And I gave myself the weekend off, you know, tip my typical personality would have been to tinker and try to figure it out to change because I was still in the launch, and I gave myself the weekend off. And on Monday, only after I had felt it, the sales started coming in. It ended up being our most successful launch that we had ever done at to that point, but only after I was willing to feel it fully,
Kate Northrup:and so It's a really interesting energetic unlock, and I will say,
Speaker 5:I mean,
Kate Northrup:I love that there was the monetary result because we love that, but it would have been worth it even if it hadn't.
Alyssa Nobriga:It didn't even it did. It was nice Yeah. But it didn't dictate my worth
Kate Northrup:Exactly.
Alyssa Nobriga:Whether my and it's, like, ironically, when we feel not good enough, we feel our wholeness, so it's, like
Kate Northrup:Isn't that crazy?
Alyssa Nobriga:Independent of, like, you it's like the last place we would think to go. Actually allow yourself to fully Feel failure.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:You feel success. You feel whole. Independent of Yeah. Of what's happening in our business or relationships or our body. It's like the last place we would be willing to go.
Alyssa Nobriga:Like, if I wanna feel worthy, I embrace unworthiness. It's so crazy.
Kate Northrup:So for those listening who are like, okay, but, like, what does that actually mean? Like, were you sitting at your desk? Did you close your eyes? Were you rolling around on the floor? Like
Alyssa Nobriga:Okay. So So, like, really? Let's break it down. What did it Then If
Kate Northrup:I were watching you, what would I have seen?
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. You would have seen me subtly trying to dart to not feel it. Yeah. Totally. So I remember laying in bed.
Kate Northrup:Okay.
Alyssa Nobriga:And I could feel myself subtly trying to avoid it.
Kate Northrup:Yep.
Alyssa Nobriga:This could I like phoning a friend or a therapist or trained facilitator to hold space. I think this this one, I phoned a friend to hold space just so that I didn't dart because I could see the tendency, and I wanted to call myself forward and be held in that. Sometimes my husband will hold or a coach or a therapist, and I I breathe into sometimes you can just place your hand on your body where it's activated. Yeah. Breathe into it as a sensation.
Alyssa Nobriga:Let go of the story. Get really intimate with just for 90 seconds neuroscientists have found to just fully breathe into it, allow it, and it starts to settle. Yeah. And that's it. I know.
Alyssa Nobriga:Isn't that crazy?
Kate Northrup:And that just, like, changes into something else, and then you're on a different ride.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yes. And eventually, though, you do have to do the mindset work Mhmm. Because the feeling, the somatic sensation will keep arising if you have the belief system that is structured to keep it looping. Yeah. So feeling it, integrating in the body, but then later questioning it with the conscious beliefs.
Alyssa Nobriga:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:Because all of that, the body and the conscious Yes. Are required for the rewiring.
Alyssa Nobriga:That's right.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Yeah. That's really beautiful.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:That's really beautiful.
Alyssa Nobriga:And I you know, part of the work that I do with my certification is, like, five levels of change. So questioning the thoughts, really getting slow to to really investigate what are the stories I bought into about what money is. For example, I know this is your work. Yes. Like, what are the stories I bought in from to what that was or what do I fear would happen if I didn't have it?
Alyssa Nobriga:So really slowing down to listen deeply within, embracing the energy of the part of me that felt that way, so emotionally, mentally, unconsciously, somatically, and then behaviorally.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:That's part of the method of, like, integrating it from a really deep way and then moving into action. Yeah. That creates a lot of sustainable change rather than pushing harder.
Speaker 5:Uh-huh.
Alyssa Nobriga:Like, I have to get there. It's like, let's get out of our own way and then come into alignment and move from there.
Kate Northrup:Yes. Do you believe in therapy and coaching? I do.
Speaker 5:Do you
Kate Northrup:have a therapist?
Alyssa Nobriga:I do. Cool.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Do you have a coach?
Alyssa Nobriga:I do. Yeah. Amazing.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Alright. I have
Alyssa Nobriga:an executive coach and a therapist.
Kate Northrup:Okay. I love that. So tell me about the difference in your experience and in your perspective because you're both.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. So the way that I train coaches is somewhat of a mix of both as long as the people are highly functioning. Yep. So people that are not highly functioning, that have addiction, that have diagnoses, they would just be much more in therapy. Nobody needs a coach.
Alyssa Nobriga:People need therapists. K. So knowing that who you're working with is important. Knowing that coaches don't do trauma work, really important to understand you wanna get trauma trained and specialized Yes. In that work, and it's more performance based.
Alyssa Nobriga:So imagine you're driving in a car, you're looking at the front the the windshield, you're looking ahead, that's more coaching. You might go into the past which is really just arising now
Speaker 5:Mhmm.
Alyssa Nobriga:To see what the programming was, and therapy is more so looking at the rear view mirror and healing the past. That's more of the focus and intention. Sometimes there's a bit of a crossover, like a layover, a crossover where it's, people in private practice that are highly functioning and they want more personal development. But now that coaching is getting more popular, people are seeing, oh, I can see a coach for those things. Yes.
Alyssa Nobriga:Because it's more, for me, a real healing is a change of behavior. Yes. So empowering clients with the tools to navigate their inner world and their outer world is to me really empowering, but Yeah. Therapy has a place, coaching has a place. It's just different.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. Right now I'm working with an executive coach and then I work with my husband on a, I just I love this work. Like, this is the thing that, you know, sometimes people invest in this work thinking that something's wrong with me and I need it, but you get to wake up beyond that story by needing that part of you, questioning that misunderstanding that you're not good enough or that you're broken and wake up to who you are beyond I am good enough or I'm not good enough and then follow your aliveness. For me, I've been with my husband for 15 years. Like, there's nothing more I would rather do than drop into deeper levels of intimacy and connection and Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:Sensual expression with him, and so that is sacred time. And it's not from a place of need, but from Yeah. Desire and love.
Kate Northrup:I know. It's so good. We we just had a session with our, couple's therapist, and, like, we didn't really need it. And Mike was like, I don't know. It's on the schedule.
Kate Northrup:Should we do it? I was like, yeah. Let's show up. Let's find out what happens. And it was it was great.
Kate Northrup:It was like a really fun, playful, like, we definitely uncovered some stuff. We you know, and and then we got an assignment that was, like, really different Yeah. And new. And, yeah, because it's not from a place of, like it doesn't always have to be from a place of there's a problem. Right.
Kate Northrup:It sometimes that's what leads us originally, and that's wonderful, but it can be also from, like, what's possible? Totally. Like, now what's possible once we've, you know, stopped pressing each other's buttons incessantly and now we're out of the loop of, like, my wound, your wound, my wound, your wound,
Kate Northrup:you know.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yes. And that's a stage of healing. Yeah. And then you kind of graduate. Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:You graduate to for the most part. Sometimes you revisit. Yeah. Sometimes those get triggered, but there is these stages of, like, maturity. And as you proactively do the work, then it's about expressing love, sharing love, and more creativity or impact or whatever your values are, but I'm with you.
Alyssa Nobriga:I think it's one of the most beautiful ways to invest time and energy.
Kate Northrup:Circling back to your money experience Yeah. And and kind of, like, how you work with people and what comes up with people in your coaching Yeah. Certification. Okay. So you were at that stage, you're sharing the futon, you're eating power bars, you're,
Speaker 5:you
Kate Northrup:know,
Kate Northrup:you're like, you're back or you're feeling shame. Right? About that. Yeah. You're taking action from the place of like, if I can make enough money, maybe I right.
Kate Northrup:If I can hustle hard enough, maybe, right? Or whatever.
Alyssa Nobriga:It wasn't there yet.
Kate Northrup:Tell me what was happening there. How did you go from where you were there Okay. To where you are now?
Alyssa Nobriga:Now what you're gonna think. Okay. Great. Yes. When I got married, we hired a wedding planner.
Alyssa Nobriga:Uh-huh. And I I think it was $10,000. Mhmm. She planned our wedding, and I was like, this is the first time I had somebody to support me in executing a vision, and I had the most incredible wedding. And for me, it felt like my first coach in a way.
Alyssa Nobriga:Wow. Because I was like, I can invest in myself. Yeah. I so I remember I was making I had $16,000 to my name.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:I ended up right after I got married. I or the blur, it's a little blurry.
Speaker 5:Yeah. It's
Kate Northrup:been a while. What is time?
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. Anyway, I had $16,000 to my name. I invested $10,000 to a 6 month mastermind to teach me basics Okay. Around business. Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:I knew nothing. Yeah. I was like, people come to my Bali retreats or they don't and, like, I had
Kate Northrup:no Right. Like, no concept of, like, the steps that people do. Like, when people are doing huge launches, there's
Speaker 5:actually, like,
Kate Northrup:a methodology for that. Like That, I didn't
Alyssa Nobriga:know at all. Big mystery.
Kate Northrup:But even, like, oh, we should take their deposit before you start paying the hotel.
Alyssa Nobriga:You should have a date to do that. Like, very basic things. I just did it. Got it. Right.
Alyssa Nobriga:Nobody teaches that as a therapist. So I I did a 6 month mastermind, ended up making a 100,000 in 2 weeks
Speaker 5:Wow.
Alyssa Nobriga:And 300,000 profiting that year working 30 hours a month.
Kate Northrup:Wow.
Alyssa Nobriga:And that That's a big jump. Was a big jump. Yeah. So what I did was I took massive action for my dreams Yeah. Because I saw what I could do Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:For the first time having just the experience of like, wow. I also just felt pregnant with like this is my time. I felt like this was I was ready, but I also faced all my fears to do that. And as soon as I faced my fears to step into it and I was doing my own inner personal development work starting to design my methodology, taking people through the inner and I'll share what some of that was, that's when everything clicked, more the masculine and the feminine, the inner work and the strategic energy and strategy, and I was like, woah, this is possible, and all of my friends started seeing how well I was doing. Wasn't coaching coaches, started doing really well.
Alyssa Nobriga:They were like, can you teach me? Yeah. Put them in a mastermind, and then it's just accelerated from there. And so but I had to do the inner work. I had to take massive action.
Speaker 5:Mhmm.
Alyssa Nobriga:I knew that if I wanted to really go to my next level, I needed to face my own fears and walk through my excuses, and that's what changed my life. And that's what I teach in the certification program. Yes.
Speaker 5:That
Alyssa Nobriga:Audits how to do 30:30:30 hours a month and do multiple 6 figures because most people think you need social media. Right. You don't.
Kate Northrup:And I So you did that without social media?
Alyssa Nobriga:Didn't do any social media. I had no online presence, no launches
Kate Northrup:I love this.
Alyssa Nobriga:And I wasn't working with coaches. It was it was easy, and all I did was focus on really good and good at what I did.
Speaker 5:Yeah. Like,
Alyssa Nobriga:really getting loving the work. Mindset. And then sales, and I love sales. Yes. I teach sales.
Alyssa Nobriga:And, like, if any time people feel gross about sales, it's because you're focused on what you can get rather than what you can give. Yeah. So there's a way to be in integrity with the work. Yeah. And then feel good about it.
Alyssa Nobriga:You see your clients change. You're just it's just like this ripple effect. But some of the inner work that I did at that time was I would I'd you know, a lot of our programming is from like age 6 and when we're in womb, more womb stuff now that we're finding out, but 6 in into utero. And I went to my childhood home in my mind as a meditation, and I started investigating what was my mom's relationship with money? What was my dad's?
Alyssa Nobriga:What did I learn from them? So, like, people might say money is freedom, money is time money is not for me. It's hard to make money. Money is security. So I started really collecting those stories and then really slow like, if you wanna go faster, you slow down, you do the inner work and then bringing mindfulness to start waking up from that younger part of me doing more inquiry, doing more mindset work.
Alyssa Nobriga:And then I also started seeing that there's a connection between our relationship with our parents and our relationship with money. So like if I worked hard to get my dad's love, I'll work think I need to work hard to get money. Or if I feel like I need to abandon myself to make money for my mom or sorry. If I feel like I need to abandon myself for my mom's love Yeah. I'll think I need to abandon myself to make money.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Right. Because our parents are a source of safety and security and money is our source of safety and security, we think. We think.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. So we think. Totally. Yeah. And so, like, seeing these things, I think, is one of the most powerful parts so that it becomes conscious and then we can do some of the transformative works somatically, emotionally, unconsciously, and then taking action in alignment with that.
Alyssa Nobriga:Powerful.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Did you have any trouble, having such a rocketship income increase? Because I know sometimes that can really happen, where when we go from really just getting by to having so much abundance, a lot of people will just spend it all Yeah. Will freak out.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. Well, my dad was a financial adviser. Okay. Cool. And so I learned to save.
Alyssa Nobriga:No. I learned to save, but unconsciously, I learned that spending was bad.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And had tried that in being an entrepreneur. Yeah. Tricky. Yeah. That was hard.
Alyssa Nobriga:So I
Kate Northrup:had to So you were more like, I have this. I gotta keep it. Can't spend anything.
Alyssa Nobriga:And then I started demoting myself because I was doing high ticket coaching. I I knew I was delivering on the value. I knew I was good at what I was doing. But then when I started moving my business online, it was way harder. Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And so I tell people, like, you could do multiple 6 figures. Out on online press release. Like working 30 hours a month, or you could do the online business and grind because it's a grind. And there's ways to do it that are easier to hire people, but it's it's still you gotta spell it in the beginning. You gotta put your time in.
Alyssa Nobriga:So I want people to be to know about it so they're consciously going into it. You can also make a lot more money, but you also Scalability. But you also wanna think about profit and how much time and so there's percent. People have different things that are important at different phases in their life.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:But for me, going online is when I started really that was harder. I demoted myself. I was doing things that I should have been hiring out for. Right. And so I didn't suddenly
Kate Northrup:you're, like, tinkering with funnels and, like, the
Alyssa Nobriga:And and I'm like a capable woman and I'm like learning all the things. Sure. And resourcefulness is important to get to 6 figures.
Kate Northrup:It is.
Alyssa Nobriga:But then it will hold you back if you don't allow yourself to receive Mhmm. And also know how to hire and all of the other things. So I ended up, it wasn't hard for me to I had to do the inner work around receiving Yeah. Which connected with worth. Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And then I had to do the work around spending, but it was kind of different work for me personally around the giving and the spending. And the scaling has been easy. I know how to make money. I know how to serve people deeply. I know how to do all the front end, the back end.
Alyssa Nobriga:Growing a team from 3 to 33 within 3 months was where It's insane. It was it was an initiation.
Kate Northrup:Why did you need that many people all of
Alyssa Nobriga:a sudden? Because with the certification programs, you it's a lot of you're holding people through
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And you want that. Yeah. It's different than selling courses. You're grading videos. You're giving feedback.
Alyssa Nobriga:They're
Kate Northrup:really interested. I mean and let's be honest. There's a lot there's a wide range of kinds of certifications out there. No. But when you're doing it in the way you would Yeah.
Kate Northrup:With as someone who has a double masters who's been studying this stuff since she was 12 Yeah. Like, that's gonna be a really different experience than someone who's just, like, it's self study. It's
Alyssa Nobriga:people to embody the work, not just know it, but live it. Yeah. And as they change their life, then they feel more confident to serve and, like, that's what we're here for, this ripple effect. And so, yeah, it's it was it required that to be an integrity with the way that I wanted to serve. Mhmm.
Alyssa Nobriga:And it's still just transparently, it's still an edge for me with team. I don't like doing the the hiring and the leading, and so, you know, I've had a CEO and but it's still there's, you know, 48 people on my team, so that's been more of the edge.
Kate Northrup:I'm just gonna be very honest when I hear that. It gives me anxiety. Me too. Yeah. Just full transparency.
Kate Northrup:I'm like, that's like
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. And how I got to see that if I so my mom was very authoritarian.
Kate Northrup:Okay.
Alyssa Nobriga:Bless my mom. I love my mom so much. And her mom was very authoritarian. Yes. And so it was kind of like I had to over the kitchen table it had a chicken and her little, her little chicks and it's like because I'm the mommy that's why.
Alyssa Nobriga:Literally every night I'm eating looking at this. And so I learned to do what to comply, to do what I was supposed to do rather than honor my truth.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And so I started doing that in my business. And so and and really part of the work that I've been doing more recently is around pleasure and unwinding some of this like have to and what's the desire. And so again, I used to think that even the practical things in business was outer but it all reflects back from our own patterns because if we have a pattern of thinking that I should or I need to, it will show up in our business. It will show up in any other area of our life. So the like, I always say it's 80% is inner, but I think it's actually more.
Kate Northrup:I think it's probably 95. Yeah. If we would be able to track that, which we can.
[voiceover]:The strategy is
Alyssa Nobriga:easy. Like, where do you create clients? Like, how do you do that? Like, all of that is LGBT, and it's fun. It's just cheap
Kate Northrup:I know we just had Natalie talking all about AI. It was wild. Yeah. So, like, can you give me an example of something that's come up lately that you realize, like, oh, this is an edge for me. This is a limiting belief.
Kate Northrup:This is like a thought loop that I'm in. And what did you do with that? Like, how are you working with yourself these days?
Speaker 5:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:With the inner work?
Alyssa Nobriga:I, my methodology, I do the same thing. Yeah. It just is now applied to different areas of my life. Great. And I like focusing on a new area every few years.
Alyssa Nobriga:So it was money for a while because that was what was most contracting me. Yeah. So I knew that could free me. Yeah. Then it was, health and wellness.
Kate Northrup:Okay.
Alyssa Nobriga:And then it was sexuality. Cool. And so right now, it's more about this what I'm talking about, which is more about letting myself receive. Yeah. Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:You know, and I and I went and I did some medicine work with my dad. That's not normally what I do. I've been I've been in this work since I was 12, but nobody did medicine work.
Kate Northrup:No. It's very It's
Alyssa Nobriga:never very
Kate Northrup:did like in indigenous communities. I went
Alyssa Nobriga:to those indigenous communities.
Kate Northrup:But not
Alyssa Nobriga:it wasn't mainstream. In silence. Yeah. It was less dependent on the medicine. I think medicine work has a place for sure.
Alyssa Nobriga:Anyway, the way that I do it is that I will look at anything that's that's a challenge in my life.
Speaker 5:Mhmm.
Alyssa Nobriga:And I will look and I will either do some somatic work where I will feel it in my body and I see if any memories or images come up Yep. And it will trace and follow that back. Following the energy. With somatic work, you don't need to know the story for it to integrate in the body. Simple.
Kate Northrup:So do us. Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. Yeah. It's so feminine. Yeah. And then at some point, you do need to know what the story is so that you can question it and really look in mindfulness to look at the operating system.
Alyssa Nobriga:But, you know, one thing that I'll I'll so five levels of change, somatic, behavioral, emotional, mental, and unconscious. Yeah. So all
Kate Northrup:Do they have to go in that order?
Alyssa Nobriga:Not in that order.
Kate Northrup:It's just sick, but it will wherever it's in and out. It's That's right. Nonlinear.
Alyssa Nobriga:If it's core, like, worthiness Yeah. Right, which is very much about money
Kate Northrup:Yes.
Alyssa Nobriga:If it's core, like, worthiness or not receiving or abandonment or belonging, something like that, you're gonna wanna integrate it on all levels.
Speaker 5:Mhmm.
Alyssa Nobriga:And so, really, you can ask yourself, like, if you have a pattern that's going on in your life and you can't get rid of it, you can say, what do I fear would happen if I if this stopped? And you'll hear inside. You just listen with mindfulness what the fears are because they're everything that we're doing has a payoff. Yeah. Secondary game.
Alyssa Nobriga:It's right. And so it's like, okay, honoring the wisdom of how it was trying to serve us, but then upgrading the method.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:But we can't judge it to get rid of it because when we judge it, we push Right. It away and we give our energy to it. Right. So compassionately witnessing it, not identifying with it. Accept and not identify is what helps us start to shift it.
Alyssa Nobriga:So you do it somatically by embracing that energy in your body. You can also and with somatic work, you don't wanna stay in the image because you can go back to your childhood home, for example, with money, understand your parents stuff. But if you stay in the image, you're still in an image and not in the body. Mhmm.
Speaker 5:And
Alyssa Nobriga:so you gotta drop that image eventually. Mhmm. But questioning the beliefs as well as embracing that part of you
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:Emotionally, like being the parent for that part starts to integrate it and starts but you it takes some of it takes time. Some of it just clicks in a moment just Yeah. Seeing it as freeing. Yeah. Just depends on how deeply it brings it in.
Kate Northrup:Never know on which thing you're working on.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:For you, in terms of, like, daily practices, what are you incorporating to kind of, like, keep the pipes clean energetically and emotionally and somatically?
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I I I do I mean, I like a a good ritual. I think meditation I like a good ritual. A good ritual.
Speaker 5:That's right.
Alyssa Nobriga:And they change over time. I think just movement and stillness, like, for me, stillness is so important. I used to do probably, like, 20 silent retreat. I've probably done 20 silent retreats. I my teacher is in retirement now, so not doing that.
Alyssa Nobriga:But just being Up to how long? 5 days on average. Yeah. I did it the Vipassana of 10 day. It's let it feels more masculine for me.
Alyssa Nobriga:I'm already have a lot of that achievement energy.
Speaker 5:So more of the
Alyssa Nobriga:feminine being resting as what you are is more my practice. So either working with a therapist or doing my own, like, compassionately being with these parts of me. But really, anytime I've and I do regularly question my beliefs Yes. Like I did when I was 12, I still do that regularly.
Kate Northrup:Do you still
Alyssa Nobriga:play the guitar? I don't. You know, because my brother, my older brother was better at it. I'm like, okay. You just play for me.
Alyssa Nobriga:I'll dance. Perfect. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Oh my god.
Kate Northrup:That's amazing. Okay. Now you have 3 bonus kids, step kids. How would you
Speaker 5:call
Alyssa Nobriga:that? Yeah. Yeah. My step kids.
Kate Northrup:Your step kids? Okay. Amazing. Yeah. And you came into their lives when they were how old?
Alyssa Nobriga:6 months, year and a half, three and a half. Really little.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:So you've really done some serious stepmothering. I've been I Like, in all the stages I've been
Alyssa Nobriga:with that. Other than newborn. Yeah. I didn't get the newborn stages. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:That's fine.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. On our you're like, don't we didn't miss much.
Kate Northrup:Sorry. Some people wouldn't agree. But I'm like,
Alyssa Nobriga:you're good. Actually, I my favorite has been the teenage years.
Kate Northrup:Okay. Tell me about that because it drives me insane. People, I'm out and about with my 2 beautiful children. They're 6 and 9. They're delightful.
Alyssa Nobriga:They are.
Kate Northrup:With great kids. And then people are like, oh
Alyssa Nobriga:I know.
Kate Northrup:Just wait. And I'm like, why would you say that
Alyssa Nobriga:to me? Exactly.
Kate Northrup:I know. So tell me about being a teen mom at your well, not a you. Yeah.
Kate Northrup:A mom to your teens.
Kate Northrup:And why it's so great and like how we can make it so great with our kids.
Alyssa Nobriga:I I for me, I love having deeper conversations with the kids. So it's like this is gets incorporated into more of a conscious family where we can talk about the roses and thorns. Like, what was the highlight of your day? What was something that is vulnerable that you're challenged with? Or what is a self sabotaging pattern that you have?
Alyssa Nobriga:Or what are you grateful for in each other around the table? Like, those conversations are some of the deepest and most richest conversations. And so having that with the kids, I love. And they also, I I think also because I have the skills psychologically to navigate the the challenges, understanding that the defense or if there if there's anger, there's usually hurt underneath. Yes.
Alyssa Nobriga:So going straight to that. Yeah. Then you don't get you don't get stuck in all the defense mechanisms of the hormones and stuff. You're just like, oh, you're really sad, you know, and they just wanna be seen and reflected emotionally. So I I love it, and I also love that we watch similar movies and music and clothes.
Kate Northrup:It's like like There's, like, less protection.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. There's less, like, I, you know, bless Barney, but, like, I'm done with those stages, and so
Kate Northrup:I know it's hard. It's really hard. Yeah. And we're graduating from it slowly, and it's really good. Like, oh, just the other day, my 9 year old was like, mama, can I watch this show?
Kate Northrup:And I looked at what it was, and it was like a home renovation show. I was like, totally. I'm
Kate Northrup:watching it with you. Like, yes. Finally, we wanna do the same thing.
Kate Northrup:It's really nice. Yeah. I mean, it sounds like it's really just like open lines of communication. Treating them like full Yeah. Humans, taking them seriously, deep respect
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:And getting underneath the thing. Right? Yeah. Which is true for all of us. Listening underneath.
Kate Northrup:Right? It's never really about the content.
Alyssa Nobriga:And it's never about money. It's never about the trash. It's about the deeper thing. And so, like, what I love about this work and people listening to your podcast, it's like as you understand how to go deeper Yeah. It applies to every area of our life.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. Wouldn't wanna do it any other way. Yeah. Because then it's like, gosh, I get to up level my finances and my relationships and my health because I have the tools to navigate. Totally.
Kate Northrup:Totally. Okay. Before we wrap Yeah. I know you've told me so many times how enthusiastic you are about sales, and I love this about you Yeah. But I haven't had the chance to really, like, unpack it.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. So you said, sales is service. Yeah. So obviously, that's like the entree into why you're so excited about it. But what is it that you love about sales for people who are listening, who are just like like, what are they missing Yeah.
Kate Northrup:By not leaning in here?
Alyssa Nobriga:I think that people have a lot of misunderstandings about who they are and what they're capable of, and I think we've been sold to in fear based ways, and we get to show another way to do sales that feels integris. And when you have a product or a service that you know is gonna change somebody's life Yeah. You can't help but wanna share with them. And so knowing what that whatever your service or your work is that you see the changes that it makes and then offering to give people a taste of your magic. Instead of selling a concept, give them an experience.
Alyssa Nobriga:I mean, we I do this with the same with online and offline marketing, meaning whether you're doing a sales conversation where you're really providing value or you're doing an online launch providing value, you lead with service.
Kate Northrup:Mhmm.
Alyssa Nobriga:Then people know what they're gonna get in a deeper container with you rather than just, I'll help you, you know, make these promises that we can never make. But you can share client stories, and you can talk about the transformation that you or your clients have gone through. When you're doing it in alignment with your values, when you know you've got something that deeply changes people's lives and you're just there to serve them and has nothing to do with you Yeah. You can't help but love it.
Kate Northrup:Do you think that a lot of people who have trouble with sales just are trying to sell something they don't fully believe in?
Alyssa Nobriga:I think they think I think that they think they're putting themselves out there. I think that they tie themselves and their worth with what they're doing. And so if somebody doesn't sign up, they start getting down, and then their business and their mood fluctuate versus doing the real work to see that who I am is bigger than any performance that I could I could have in my business or not or so for me, I only love sales because of the spiritual foundation and the personal development work because without that, I think it would be really challenging. Yeah. And so then when you do the work to kind of clear those misunderstandings, you can't help but Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:You can't help but love it.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. I love that. Okay. Final thing Yeah. That is connected to that,
Alyssa Nobriga:oh, yeah. And I may share one thing.
Kate Northrup:Okay. Just share it first and then I'll
Alyssa Nobriga:I just I just came forward. Great. Like, sometimes people, they have these competing desires where they're like, I wanna grow my business, but I'm afraid of being seen.
Kate Northrup:Yes.
Alyssa Nobriga:So it's like a foot on the gas Yes. And a foot on the brakes. And that's what creates this internal war and it that's what makes it harder. Most people are like push through it and be courageous and, like, there is a small place where that works, but not as, like, a primary way to because then you burn out. Right?
Alyssa Nobriga:Yes. And, like, that's what you're about driving the vehicle. Your foot
Kate Northrup:on the brake is terrible for your transmission.
Alyssa Nobriga:You're just jerking. You're like, I wanna grow, but I'm scared. Yeah. I wanna fall in love, but I'm great at being hurt.
Kate Northrup:Not just try to push that. Yeah. Like, get your foot off the brake.
Alyssa Nobriga:Exactly. And so, like, take it off, get out of your own way. And so that's where you can ask yourself questions just to kinda land that. It's like, I I had this woman come to me who wanted to make over she she kept plateauing at an upper limit of 250,000. And I said she worked with these coaches, she couldn't do it, and she was hiring more people on her team, 250,000.
Alyssa Nobriga:I said, what do you fear would happen if you made more money? She's like, Alyssa, don't play me, like, of course, I wanna make more money that's why I'm here. And so I said, humor me, just slow down and really listen. If I make more money, I fear and then tears started streaming down her face. She's like, I just realized that when my parent, my mom got a raise, my parents got a divorce.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yep. So unconsciously, she thought that she, if she made more money, she wouldn't have a strong relationship. Right? If I if I get the promotion, then I'll work more and I won't be with my kids. So we gotta see what's in there Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:Consciously and then really investigate the truth of it Yeah. Get out of our own way and then create a plan that's more in alignment with our values. So beautiful.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Okay. That's so powerful. My story is very similar, so I really resonate.
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah. Yours is? Yeah.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. My parents got divorced when my mom's career started taking off. Oh, wow. First time my mom was on Oprah, my dad, they they broke up very shortly after that. Oh, wow.
Kate Northrup:That was wild. So, like, I've definitely done some of that unraveling myself. You know? Yeah. So, I do think it's really common, to over couple our the amount we make with our worth, how well a launch does with our worth.
Speaker 5:You
Kate Northrup:know? Right? And I think you've really already led us through those 5 pillars. You know, questioning. Right?
Kate Northrup:Just questioning, like, create some space
Speaker 5:Mhmm.
Kate Northrup:Between the thought, like, witness. Yeah. And then even that brings so much beautiful awareness. Is it actually true
Alyssa Nobriga:Yes.
Kate Northrup:That how many people sign up for your launch determines how worthy you are as a human. Like, obviously not. So so when we do that, but let's say somebody is finding that that's coming up launch after launch. But they're failing? That that that, like, maybe they're they're setting a goal Okay.
Kate Northrup:And not hitting it, and they're making that mean something about themselves. Right?
Alyssa Nobriga:Yeah.
Kate Northrup:You had shared going into the feeling of the the what it was Shame. The shame. Yeah. Yeah. Is that where you would recommend people go in that particular case?
Alyssa Nobriga:My experience is anytime people feel like they failed at something in the past, they project that in the future. So before moving forward with coaching or change or starting the business again or falling in love, whatever the thing is that they want, they have to confront that misunderstanding that they From
Kate Northrup:the past. That from
Alyssa Nobriga:the past that they failed, that they're a failure.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And they have to look at what were the learnings, forgive the judgments about who they think they are. Like, failure is not the end of a story. Right? It's No. We're all We're
Kate Northrup:still not hitting targets constantly all day every day.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And so, like, starting to unravel who I am with my performance, but then not just knowing it, but really feeling it and then living it in a deeper way. So that's why we have to slow down to see some of the work, but forgive ourselves for any of the misunderstandings. Mhmm. And then see what can I learn from it to set me up for success moving forward?
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And to have a healthy relationship with failure, that failure is the opposite coin to success. Yeah. They're the same. Just like unworthiness and worthiness are the same. If you go all the way through, you find the opposite.
Alyssa Nobriga:Side.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. So good.
Alyssa Nobriga:And that there's love underneath all of it. Like, if you enter any feeling and you bring it to the very core and you you accept it, there's love at the bottom.
Kate Northrup:Yeah.
Alyssa Nobriga:And so just having the courage to test that, not to believe me, but just to see
Kate Northrup:Just try it out.
Alyssa Nobriga:Just try it out. But make sure not to stay looped in the mind Yes. Because we can think about something as a subtle way to avoid feeling it. Yes. We can.
Alyssa Nobriga:And yeah. Yeah. And so and some personalities have more avoidant patterns. Yep. Others indulge emotionally.
Speaker 5:Mhmm.
Alyssa Nobriga:So learning how to allow it
Kate Northrup:Which one are you?
Alyssa Nobriga:You have to track that. Your avoider.
Speaker 5:Mhmm.
Alyssa Nobriga:And then can I just fully allow it as a sensation and then forgive the the judgment? And then and then when it's not about me, it's like, okay. No big deal. And then we move forward with more grace. Exactly.
Kate Northrup:Exactly. So good. Yeah. Okay. My final question is, why do you do what you do?
Kate Northrup:Like, what is your hope for humanity?
Alyssa Nobriga:I got teary. I I think the deeper intention is to help humanity heal and to have the tools to navigate their world because there's a lot of unconscious projection and trauma in the world. And for me, when I was becoming a therapist, I'm like, why don't people know these tools? So I wanted to make them more accessible because to me, there's nothing better in life than to help people know how to navigate their inner world and therefore live with more open hearted minds
Speaker 5:and
Alyssa Nobriga:and just be free. So beautiful. Yeah. Thank you. I love you.
Kate Northrup:Thank you for being here. I love you too. This is great.
Alyssa Nobriga:It's so fun.
Kate Northrup:Where should people come to find you? Yeah. If they wanna connect, learn more.
Alyssa Nobriga:They can go to alisannobriga.com
Speaker 5:Great.
Alyssa Nobriga:Or on Instagram, alisannobriga. Okay. Amazing.
Speaker 5:We'll link
Kate Northrup:it up in the show notes. Yeah. And your podcast is
Alyssa Nobriga:And you are on my podcast.
Kate Northrup:It was great.
Speaker 5:I loved
Kate Northrup:it so much.
Alyssa Nobriga:Healing and Human Potential. Perfect.
Kate Northrup:Yeah. Amazing.
Alyssa Nobriga:Thanks so much.
Kate Northrup:Go go find her.
Alyssa Nobriga:Thank you. I love you. I'm
Kate Northrup:getting at least one DM a week that says, when do the doors open for relax money again? I'm ready. Now relax money is our signature neuroscience backed methodology to help you get financially healthier, and we only open the doors one time a year for our live cohort. However, we are growing the wait list early. So when you get on the wait list, there are special bonuses, goodies, surprises, freebies, and you can get on there over at relax money.comforward/plenty.
Kate Northrup:Thanks for listening to this episode of Plenty. If you enjoyed it, make sure you subscribe, leave a rating, leave a review. That's one of the best ways that you can ensure to spread the abundance of plenty with others. You can even text it to a friend and tell them to listen in. And if you want even more support to expand your abundance, head over to katenorthrup.comforward/breakthroughs where you can grab my free money breakthrough guide that details the biggest money breakthroughs from some of the top earning women I know, plus a mini lesson accompanying it with my own biggest money breakthroughs and a nervous system healing tool for you to expand your abundance.
Kate Northrup:Again, that's over at katenorthrup.comforward/breakthroughs. See you next time.