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Unashamed Unafraid is a show dedicated to being unashamed about sexual addiction recovery and unafraid of coming unto Christ for healing. Pornography and sexual addiction are not something you are stuck with to manage your whole life. We share real stories of recovery, the best resources, information from experts, and answer anonymous questions with those who know. All to help you on the path of being 100% healed from pornography and sexual addiction.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Welcome to another episode
of Unashamed Unafraid.
We are unashamed of sexual
addiction recovery, and unafraid
of coming onto Christ for healing.
Mason, how's it going, man?
Let's check in on recovery.
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Going man going, going it in
the morning, bright and early.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
We've episode this early.
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922: I know
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Yeah.
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Recovery's going good, though
I felt a little stuck lately.
As soon as you said, I'm
ashamed and muna afraid.
I was like, man, I'm feeling
pretty ashamed and pretty
afraid this week, honestly.
. I definitely have been running
away from emotions and out and
just refusing to, come to terms
with some of the pain that feeling.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Hm.
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922:
about that yesterday a little bit,
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Yeah,
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922:
and I think I'm just trying to
figure out how to navigate that
right now 'cause it feels so intense.
So.
An early twenties thing.
, unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
I felt like that was every single day
for me last year or a couple years ago.
I'm still in that phase now, but what's
maddening about it for me is I'm far
along enough in recovery that I'm
super self-aware of the fact that it's
happening and still don't quite have
the tools to keep it from happening or
I would just say habits haven't been
cemented in the way I want 'em to yet.
So I'll feel you there, dude.
I am good.
Things are going pretty well.
I think the audience knows I got
married, , about three months ago.
, And that's been really good.
My wife Jasmine, she's been divorced
before and there's been a lot of,
healing from that last marriage.
So, you know, we're going through the
things together and, it's been a journey.
I've honestly grown more in the last
three months of my life than at any point.
When we both have big emotions, it's
really challenging to have space for.
Both people's emotions, and I'm
finding that, it's asking more of
me than I have to give at times.
I actually just talked to my
mom about that the other day.
, She gave me some really good advice
just about, Hey, look, when, when it
feels that way, if she's shutting down
or you're shutting down, you don't
have to continue the conversation.
Believe it or not, you
don't have to keep talking.
You just say, Hey, maybe we
just pick this back up later.
I'm gonna take some space.
You take some space
and, , we'll reconvene.
So I'm learning that there's just a ton.
I'm learning.
I feel like I've done a
lot of the zero to 50 work.
I still have some there for sure, but,
I'm engaged in this 50 to 100 work that
is kind of kicking my butt, to be honest.
So.
Speaking of getting, speaking, of
getting our, our butts kicked, we've
got, we've got a guest on today.
Drew, you want to introduce yourself.
You're kind of, an expert in,
in understanding how emotions
from our childhood come back
and, kick our butts And, that's kind
of a good intro me and Mason talking
about this, , to lead right into, to
what we're gonna talk about today.
Welcome, drew.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Thanks, Sam.
I'd like to check in as well.
, I have been feeling
confused lately
and then also grateful and also really
scared and anxious at the same time.
The one thing I will not say is I'm
good because that would be a lie.
, I, I do think I'm good at the core.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Yeah.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Um, man,
hearing you guys share these really
experiences that you're going
through and say, oh yeah, I'm good.
Just felt strange to me
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Sounds like you're cluing into
some of our emotional dishonesty.
Drew.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: maybe,
but I will promise you that I'm not
here to kick your butt, and I'm looking
forward to time talking about the
inner child and how that impacts our
. recovery.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
tell us a little bit more about
what you do and the work you've been
engaged in helping men outgrow porn.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Yes.
My name is Drew Boa.
I am the author of the book Outgrow
Porn that came out last year, the
founder of Husband Material Ministries,
which is a podcast, a community, an
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922: I.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: retreats.
We help men become emotionally, sexually,
spiritually mature, realizing that for
many of us, porn when we were little boys.
So that's why we have to
heal the boy to free the man.
. unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
And a lot of your content's
actually been super helpful to me.
One of the greatest mentors
in my life, , Arlan.
He's someone who has sponsored me in 12
Steps and has been a huge resource for me.
Has used a lot of your methods,
and kind of that ideology in the
work that we've done together.
I don't think it's overstating
to say , that kickstarted my
recovery two to three years ago.
So I'm just honored to have you on and to
be able to take a little bit of your time.
We wanna talk about inner child work
today, which is gonna, I think this is
gonna be a cool episode because, we're
gonna dig into the real raw stuff.
For someone who's never really heard of
inner child work, can you give us a little
bit of a baseline for what that means
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: absolutely.
It is not the mature,
logical, healthy adult.
Me that sometimes has the urge to watch
porn or really intense sexual fantasies.
It's a younger part of me.
It's a more emotional, wild, imaginative
part of me that does not have the same.
Resources as the adult me.
We all have parts.
Internal family systems is a
helpful way of thinking about that.
But if you really want to think about,
well, what is the inner child like?
Is, is this a a new age concept?
Is this biblical?
It's really an oversimplified
way of talking about memory.
There are two kinds of memory.
I'll try to keep this short.
Explicit memory is, is recalling facts.
It is conscious, it requires effort, and
we have to choose to remember something
that way, like remembering someone's
birthday, remembering someone's name.
Implicit memory is automatic.
Effortless.
It happens even underneath our awareness.
And it's re-experiencing events,
not just remembering facts.
It's re-experiencing something.
And , my premise and my argument is
that when you feel sexual temptation,
that seems irresistible or emotional
pain, that feels intolerable.
It's an implicit memory.
Another word for implicit
memory is body memory.
Our bodies remember
these things in the book.
The body keeps the score as
a really great resource for
understanding how that happens.
But basically what it means is that
there are times when I feel like a
little boy again, there are times when
I feel like a 13-year-old again or
maybe an 18-year-old again, without
me realizing it, that's at the core.
Of my sexual thoughts and feelings
realizing that that is happening is huge
and it's something worth celebrating.
And Sam, you said earlier that you've,
you've gained enough self-awareness to
realize what's happening, man, praise God.
That's awesome.
And that's just the first step.
Because revealing is
not the same as healing.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Hmm.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922:
related, but they're not the same.
that's allowed me to get lasting freedom
from porn, Internet porn has not been
in my life for the last 10 years, and
that would not be possible without
the work we're talking about today.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
So tell us your journey.
What has inner child
work looked like for you?
Drew, I.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Well, it started for me when
I was preparing for marriage.
I wanted to be husband material and
that's where the name came from.
And I was reading every book I could
find, watching every course I could take.
I traveled to to learn as much as I could.
And at one point I heard Patrick
Carnes, the guy who first came up
with the idea of sex addiction.
He said that sometimes when your
sexual development gets stunted,
the things that were attractive
to you back then don't change.
And I realized that was my story.
He talked about a guy who probably
grew up in purity culture like me,
never dated anyone masturbated to
pictures he found on the internet.
And that was me.
That was completely me.
And so the things that I first
focused on during my first
orgasms burned into my brain.
I sexually imprinted on these
specific types of girls and women.
For some it's boys and men, for some,
it's all kinds of different things.
But for me, I, I became obsessed with
this one thing, and in my case it
was braces, orthodontic appliances.
I did not understand this.
I thought it was weird.
I actually had a lot of self hatred.
I realized this is not just like
a phase that I'm getting out of.
This is staying with me as I get older.
It
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Yeah.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: it was both,
maddening as you say, and yet magical.
It was forbidden, yet fascinating.
it was this thing that
had so much power over me.
After watching that video with Patrick
Carnes and beginning to explore,
well, why, what's underneath that?
I found 13-year-old drew,
and that unlocked a level of
self-compassion instead of self
hatred and inviting Jesus into
these areas of my heart that he
had never really touched before.
I.
'cause when I was 13, that was a
time when kids had braces on their
teeth, and it was also the time when I
experienced the worst trauma of my life.
I never realized how those
two things were connected.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Wow.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: So that's
where the deeper journey started for
me, and it allowed me to no longer
be fighting a battle against myself.
of battling my sexuality, I
started befriending my sexuality.
Figuring out what it was trying to
teach me, and I'm still learning that.
But praise God, it's no longer this
frustrating, exhausting, discouraging
process that it used to be.
It's more of an adventure of
self-discovery and just self-discovery,
but also like the satisfaction of those
deeper desires that are underneath it all.
I.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
So where do you go from there?
I mean, you, you start to learn this
and become self-aware, of the fact
that the sexual fantasies that you're
having, the things that are driving
you to act outside of your values
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Mm-hmm.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
through sex are deeply
rooted in historical pain.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Yeah,
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
do you then go solve that?
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922:
you don't really solve it.
I mean, it would be nice to have
this be a simple mechanical problem
that would be easier, and maybe as
men, we prefer that kind of thing.
But it's more about befriending, as
I said, being with that historical
pain or to use the inner child
framework, being with that little boy.
Finding him, loving him, leading him
to freedom, leading him to Jesus.
He may not know Jesus.
It's similar to, uh, a documentary
I saw called The Rescue.
Have either of you guys seen the rescue?
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
I don't think I have.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: good.
It's so good.
It's about these 11 boys in Thailand
who got trapped in a cave, right
as the monsoon season was starting.
And the whole world was waiting
to find out if, they could
be found, if they would live.
So expert cave divers went into the
cave and had to locate the boys.
Figure out where they were, in order to
rescue them, they had to stay with them.
They had to build trust that they could
bring them out and bring them home.
there was a doctor, Navy Seal doctor
who stayed with them in the cave, and
he vowed to be with them no matter
if they ever got out of the cave.
He was gonna stay with
them until the very end,
and then building trust with those
11 boys that had to teach them how
to be sedated so that they could.
Be dragged out of this cave under, under
two miles of underwater tunnels , and
they had to cooperate with the boys.
They had to build trust that
they could bring them home.
And that is inner child work.
You have to locate the boys within
you because there's not just one.
It's, it's not just one
inner child within us.
It's more like an orphanage.
And there're all these
different parts of me,
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Man, I feel like in an orphanage sometime.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Right.
There's the part of me that that
feels like he's never good enough.
And then there's a part of me that
feels rejected and then there's a
part of me that weak or masculine.
And then there's another part
of me that just feels angry.
and these are all like dark caves.
In my body, in my memory.
And so our first job is to locate
the boys, and that's self-awareness.
The second step is to love the boys,
not just that this happened to me,
but come close to that part of me,
maybe to invite Jesus to come close
to that part of me and connect.
And listen
and respond just like you would with your
own son just like you would to a close
friend and so it's not solving the pain,
it's not solving the boy, it's being with.
What we find.
, And a lot of times we need
help from others to do that.
As we, as we experience that love in
our deepest suffering, in our deepest
sin, we start to feel safe enough
to maybe think about leaving the cave.
And that's an ongoing process.
Yet it gets possible
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Hmm.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922:
And there's hope.
And spoiler alert for the rescue
documentary, which is a true story,
they brought all the boys home as
Chris Bruno says in the book, Sage,
this is a rescue operation and her
child work is about, finding the boy
within the man to welcome him home.
So it's not about solving a
problem, it's about coming home.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
I love the way that you
rephrased that word solve.
'cause it isn't about solving
something, it's about acceptance.
It's about, self-compassion.
It's about being, with
being present, loving.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Yeah.
, And yet this is exactly the place
where a lot of us get stuck I
feel like I'm the problem, or,
now why can't this just be fixed?
And it's, it's all about
control instead of connection.
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922:
I'd love to speak from my experience
right now 'cause I just had a
session, with my therapist and I
was talking to Sam about this and
I'll be honest, I was super pissed.
I think he was trying to me to sit
there with that little boy, right?
he was framing it as just pain, right?
Sit here with everything that comes up.
Sit here and listen but I was sitting
there like, I don't wanna feel pain.
I, I want it to be fixed.
I want, I want this to stop.
I hate this.
You know, that's why I look
at porn anyways is 'cause I'm
trying to run away from pain
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Yeah.
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922: so.
What would you say?
What do you say to me?
You know, because I, I have a hard time
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Yeah.
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922:
just sitting in that pain, sitting
in that anxiety, sitting in that
fear, sitting in that insecurity.
And it's hard for me to fathom not
controlling it and not getting away from
that pain because I feel like it's so.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Yeah.
Thank you so much for your vulnerability
and your honesty.
Speaking just for yourself, but I'm
sure for so many guys who are listening.
Yeah, it's not easy.
really difficult, and it's normal to
have a strong reaction of being pissed
or angry, like, I don't wanna do this.
Here's what happens when we relate
to that little boy with contempt.
It could be like kind of a dismissive,
rejection I don't wanna deal with him.
It could be feeling angry, it could
be feeling ashamed of the boy.
It could just be overwhelmed by arousal.
It could be feeling apathetic,
like, is this really gonna help?
Why am I even doing this?
And when we, when we respond with one of
those reactions, the boy doesn't go away.
Instead, he feels the need to retaliate.
And that is the recipe for relapse.
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922:
A pretty rough so you're right.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Yeah.
I mean, he's gonna go
back to what he knows.
If he can't trust you, he will trust
porn or a false savior instead.
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922: Yeah.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: rescuer.
Um,
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922: Mm-hmm.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: so
if you want to break through in
order to love the boy, it's going
to take the love of Jesus in you
through you, maybe with someone else.
Who is able to be with you in that space.
this is is not a way of trying
to get rid of the boy, even
though might seem desirable.
Like, gosh, I, I just wish
God would remove these
thoughts and feelings from me.
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922: Mm-hmm.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922:
But he's not here to remove.
He's here to redeem your inner child.
Rescue him.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
So Drew is a friend because we had this
conversation yesterday and I think I
said all the wrong things probably.
How do I step into that space with Mason,
of course, if he invites me into it,
to experience that and feel that and
share that and have compassion for that.
In a moment together with him.
'cause he and I are willing
to do these types of things.
I think, uh, we lack the knowledge to
be able to know how , to see each other
in those moments the way we need to.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Yeah.
Well, first admitting that is
the first step, and that's great.
It starts with curiosity.
This is something that Jay Stringer
wrote about in the book, unwanted.
And this is what you would do with
any kid who's crying like at a
school, babysitting in your own house.
If a kid is really upset, rather
than just trying to think, okay,
what's the right thing to say?
What's the right thing to do?
We have to start with curiosity and
figure out, well, what's really going on?
What's underneath this?
Okay.
My, my kid didn't get the candy
or the toy they wanted, but
that's just the surface level.
What's underneath that?
Like what's driving this?
What, what is going on
in this kid's heart?
That's where it starts with
admitting that, I don't know.
What this other person needs.
So I'm gonna be curious about it and,
ask questions in my book, outgrow
Porn, I call befriending questions
and starts with something as simple
as, how are you feeling right now?
One of my favorite questions is, if that
feeling could talk, what would it say?
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922: Hmm.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: And that's
giving a voice to this part of you.
Maybe a voice to the inner child,
perhaps, or the inner teenager.
If this feeling could
talk, what would it say?
Where do you feel it in your body?
How strong is it?
Another really good question is
when have you felt this way before,
especially when you were younger?
That's a question I often ask myself.
When have I felt this way before?
, With what's happening in my
body, the, the words going
through my head, that question.
Accesses your implicit memory,
you know, re-experiencing events.
It's like, oh, what, what is
happening for me right now?
Wow.
I feel like I, I felt with my dad
growing up, I feel like I felt with
the other kids of school growing up, I,
you know, I feel like I felt when, when
that one thing happened, these, these.
Body memories start to flow
and remember, it's not about
solving, it's just being with.
So what have you felt this way before?
And then what's that like for you?
What's underneath that?
And, and ultimately,
what did you need and what do you need?
And, and that's a tough question
for us to answer a lot of times.
Sometimes it feels like I.
need porn, or I need some
other compulsive behavior.
Underneath what we think of as sexual
needs and cravings are attachment needs.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Hmm.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: attachment
needs include being seen safe, soothed,
being cherished and treasured,
delighted in, you know,
accepted and being supported.
Those are the attachment needs that have
become sexualized because we didn't have
any other way of getting those things.
And that's the historical pain as you
described it, that porn is pacifying.
I say porn is a pacifier,
porn is a pacifier.
It's something that we, use to, as
Mason said, so well run from the
pain or try to put out the pain.
Rather than process the pain and
that's what it looks like to be
mature, I, I can drop the pacifier.
Maybe I don't even have to pick it
up because I'm able to process pain.
I mean, think about this.
If you could process your
feelings every single time,
would you ever sexually act out?
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
No, never.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922:
You think so?
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
I don't think I would, I can't, I
can't speak for anyone else, but, I
didn't use to feel this way because
I just didn't know anything else.
I was the fish in water who didn't
know he was in water, but I feel like
I can recognize when I'm in the water
now, and it feels like I'm overwhelmed.
I don't have answers to my problem.
I feel abandoned, unloved, or stuck,
and so I'm gonna go numb
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Yeah.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
And I can consciously recognize
those processes happening in my
body and myself making the decision
if that process could be modified.
, 'Cause I, I don't wanna say averted
or, uh, you know, you have to go
through the process of processing.
That's why it's called a process.
But if the emotions could be processed,
there wouldn't be this, retaliatory
reaction like you were describing.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Yeah.
So porn is a pacifier and
also porn is a protest.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Hmm.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922:
So way of saying like, Hey,
this is not working,
and this part of you is like
rebelling against.
Being ignored, being avoided,
attacked, being abandoned,
man, that's such a powerful word.
And you know, in that sense,
retaliation makes a lot of sense.
It has a point.
Sometimes it's there to wake us
up to get what we really need.
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922:
I'm a bit earlier on in my
recovery journey than Sam.
I'm, I'm kind of, as you were
describing, that fish that
doesn't realize it's in water.
I think that's where I'm at.
It was just recently where I'm starting
to recognize some of those things.
, But I still am like,
why do I feel this way?
Why, why do I wanna act
out so strongly right now?
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: And
that is asking the right question.
mason-seljaas_1_03-11-2026_071922:
We're sitting here talking about, you
know, sitting with the pain, it a voice,
wanting to accept it, and all these
things my brain just keeps wanting say.
How can I fix this?
Right?
You know, it just, it always
goes back to, it's basically
all my therapy sessions too.
It just like, just keeps on wiring.
It's like, no, like,
let's run away from pain.
Let's get this pain.
Like, oh, Jesus will heal it.
Sweet.
Let's get Jesus in here.
Let's heal the pain so I
don't have to heal it anymore.
You know, things like that.
Like it's just constantly
going in that loop.
So.
Explain that to me a little bit more.
And Sam, you can hop in here
too, what does that look like?
Like I can't, I can't even fathom
what does that look like to just be
like, okay, with the pain, you know,
what does that mean to say like, okay,
yeah, I'm not gonna fix the pain.
Am I being told to just sit with the pain?
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: No, and it
might not be something you do solo either.
I think there are times when
I can't sit with the pain.
I need to borrow someone else's
brain through a phone call or
through in-person connection
or getting professional help
going to a retreat or an
intensive or just journaling.
, I mean, there are times
when I can't, do it.
I need to co-regulate.
But as we, as we learn to
co-regulate, then we also build
up more practice to self-regulate.
And there are all these different
trauma reactions that people have
identified like fight flight.
Freeze.
So fight is like, I need to fix this.
Flight is like, I'm gonna run
away from it and avoid it.
Freeze is, I'm just overwhelmed.
I don't know what to do.
There's also fawn, which is, I'm gonna
try to please and appease the people
in order to hope that,
that that will work.
And maybe that happens
in a recovery group.
Like, oh, I gotta be sober this
week, or I gotta, you know.
Reach my goals.
That's more of the, maybe
the fawn response, and then
there's the flop response.
And the flop response is, I give up,
and that's a way of collapsing almost
like an animal playing dead to say.
Porn.
You win evil, you win.
I 'cause I can't do this anymore.
, All of these are trauma responses
and, they all make sense.
They're all trying to help us somehow.
The healing response is to face and feel.
Whatever is happening, and we need
help to do that, feel it, to heal it.
That's the way through.
And when we do that, kinda like not
using the pacifier or taking the pacifier
out of the mouth of the inner child.
And you're gonna get big feelings.
That's okay.
You might sob, you might scream,
you might fall into someone's arms.
You might be a puddle on
the floor for a while,
and maybe that's what
your body needs to do.
Maybe that's what my body needs to do.
I.
And instead of saying, I'm
good, I'm fine processing it
so that I don't have to pacify.
It is the way to maturity and growth and.
A different type of freedom.
It's not the freedom of like, oh,
I've won this battle and it's over.
It's like, I'm not fighting
that battle anymore
'cause I'll never win.
Instead, I'm going through this war
zone to find the boy who needs me,
and I could, I don't care about.
All the enemy forces , if I can break
through behind enemy lines to get to
this part of me that's in desperate need.
And, and I think we can do
that with each other too.
Yeah.
This is inner child work.
Locate the child, love the
child, and lead the child.
, And when we do that.
There's this huge shift where you become
the loving, safe adult in your life.
, unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Drew, as we're wrapping this up,
what are some final thoughts for
me and Mason and for the audience,
that you would like to share?
The golden nuggets to tie
all the loose ends together.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Well,
first of all, I wanna celebrate
you guys and everyone listening.
Just for being here because by listening
to this podcast, you are sitting with
your inner children, allowing
yourself to believe that maybe
there's something here for you.
But there's hope, and hope
is painful, in some ways.
Relapsing or acting out is a way of
killing hope because it's easier.
I mean, hope is always
going to have an element of
something that I want that I don't
have yet, and that's painful.
Choosing hope is so brave.
It requires
a tolerance for discomfort
and courage.
This inner child work is often
really scary and terrifying.
To begin, there are all kinds of doubts
that can keep us from even trying it.
So it's incredibly courageous to open
yourself up to this type of experience,
and that's awesome.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Drew, if someone out there wants
to find you, where would they go?
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Go to material.com
where
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922: I.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: You can
join our community of thousands of
men who are doing this work together.
Healing The Boy to Free the Man.
also get my book@outgrowporn.com
that walks you through how to do that.
It's very practical.
Every chapter has tools that you can
try out, either on your own or with
who's helping you, or even in a group.
It's, it's the resource
that I wish I had had.
Years and years ago, and I think that
any step toward inner child work
and outgrowing porn is a giant step.
There are no baby steps
at husband material.
We call it a redemptive risk.
Relapse is a risk in some ways risking.
Or negative consequences.
And yet it's also a way of
choosing what's predictable.
It's certainty.
It's something that's familiar,
it's known, it's something I
can control every single time.
Choosing healing is gonna feel like a risk
because in order to be healable,
we have to be vulnerable.
We have to be wound.
So I think it's incredibly.
for you guys to be thinking about, man,
where in my life do I need to locate
and love and lead the boy within me?
And, it's a risk, it's
a risk worth taking.
So thanks for taking the redemptive
risk to to be with me and.
We'll see where it goes next.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Drew, I can't tell you what an
honor it is to have you on here.
Like I said before, so much of your work
has influenced me, , in my own recovery.
My sponsor in 12 Steps was
a, a big follower of yours.
And, I clearly after this interview
have a lot more work to do and
I think me and Mason are gonna
change some approaches, but.
I really appreciate the journey
that you've taken and, through the,
the redemptive risks as you say,
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922: Let's go.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Which you've taken, because that's
impacted me in a pretty personal way.
And then, I have a good feeling this
is gonna be pretty powerful for a lot
of our audience members, so thank you.
drew-boa_1_03-11-2026_071922:
You are welcome.
unashamed-unafraid_1_03-11-2026_071922:
Guys, thanks for watching.
You can find us on social media
at unashamed unafraid, get access
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Remember to subscribe to our YouTube
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So take some time right now
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Thanks again for watching, and
until next time, continue to live.
Unashamed.