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Leaders gonna lead, but you gotta make sure you’re doing it in the best way possible. Stephen and Zach are back this week to talk through what it means to lead a non-profit organization. In continuing the series on how to start a mentoring organization, Zach prepares Stephen to take over Forerunner Mentoring by giving him his top ten tips for what it takes to lead in this mentoring-style episode.
Show Notes
Leaders gonna lead, but you gotta make sure you’re doing it in the best way possible. Stephen and Zach are back this week to talk through what it means to lead a non-profit organization. In continuing the series on how to start a mentoring organization, Zach prepares Stephen to take over Forerunner Mentoring by giving him his top ten tips for what it takes to lead in this mentoring-style episode.
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the You Can Mentor podcast. I am Zach Garza, and I'm here with my main man, mister Stephen Murray.
Speaker 3:Hello.
Speaker 2:And today, we are talking about a mentor leader's top ten list.
Speaker 3:Come on. I love your monster truck voice.
Speaker 2:That wasn't my monster truck voice. That's my normal voice. Now I'm offended. Rule number 1, don't offend the guy don't offend your boss. No.
Speaker 2:But seriously, if you're listening to this, either you run a mentoring org, you're a leader in a mentoring org, or you have some level of influence in a mentoring organization. As you guys know, I'm handing over our organization to Stephen Murray. I'm stepping down, and I'm letting him lead. And these are the 10 things that I believe Stephen needs to know in order to run this org well. And I'm sharing it with everyone because I think there's some gold here.
Speaker 2:So that's what we got.
Speaker 3:It's awesome. I love this series. I'm learning a ton. So thank you for doing this.
Speaker 2:I hope so. That's that's the point. That's the point. Yeah. So if you weren't, then I wouldn't be doing my job, and I would be questioning everything that has happened in the last 6 weeks.
Speaker 2:So I
Speaker 3:won't let you down.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Steven. Thank you. Jesus, we give it to you all. Yes. We give it to you all.
Speaker 2:We give it all to you. That's what I meant to say. Alright. So the top ten things. These these are things that I've just learned over the last, you know, 12 years of being in charge and starting a mentoring organization.
Speaker 2:Yes. This this applies to mentoring orgs, but really it's just all organizations. But some of these things I picked up through mentors, some of these things I've learned through failure, some of these things I've learned through books. This list at one time was 19 things. So you're welcome, Steven.
Speaker 3:Thank you for Yeah. For for synthesizing it.
Speaker 2:And so I've just got 10 things. And these aren't really in order, but the first well, I guess the first four are in order. But are you ready?
Speaker 3:I'm ready.
Speaker 2:Alright. So the number one thing that you need to know as you enter into the role of executive director is that this is God's organization, and he has chosen you to steward it well. So I know for me, there was a common belief that this is mine. This is my deal. I'm in charge.
Speaker 2:I have to make it happen. Everything comes down to me. And, like, yes, like, there are responsibilities that I have. I have jobs to do. But ultimately, it's not on me.
Speaker 2:It's on God. And he who calls you is faithful. So God has called you to this role. And I believe that if you seek first his kingdom, then all these things shall be added unto you. It's keeping our eyes fixed on him, not on yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So that's it.
Speaker 3:I like the concept of calling because it's it it focuses on the one who is called, but actually the focus is on who's doing the calling. Yeah. And that's really helpful to know that God takes responsibility for those that he calls.
Speaker 2:So, like, I know for me, especially in today's culture, there's such an emphasis on the leader and how they need to have the skills, they need to have the talents, they need to be smart enough, and it and it's all like you're gonna go as far as the person in charge. But that's actually, the opposite of what God calls us to do. Right? It's his organization. He's in charge, not you.
Speaker 2:And you have to continually remind yourself of that and get his plan, get his vision through reflection and prayer. So one thing that I do often is if I just feel overwhelmed, if I feel discouraged, I'll take an hour and I'll just I'll just take a walk. And I'll just think about what's going on. I'll think about our staff. I'll think about the people that we serve, and I'll just pray.
Speaker 2:And I'll submit it all at the feet of Jesus. And I say, god, you're the one in charge, not me. Lord, provide us with everything that we need. God, give us funds, give us volunteers, give us mentors, give us kids, give us a new building. Right?
Speaker 2:Give us plans, give us strategy, give us creativity, Lord. I need these things and I'm coming and I'm knocking at your door and I'm asking, Lord, would you please make this happen? I think so often we try to do things on our own and we try to work, work, work, work, work. And really what we should be doing is we should be praying, praying, praying, praying. Now don't get me wrong, we do have to work.
Speaker 2:We have to work hard. We have to do all these things that he's called us to. But one of my favorite quotes is ministry without prayers the highest form of arrogance. And Wow. As a leader, I know for me, at one point I thought that I had to be doing the most.
Speaker 2:But what I found is I have to be empowering the most and praying the most. So it's his org, not yours. That should remove a weight from you. Mhmm. Right?
Speaker 2:He who calls you is faithful and he has called you and he will be faithful. Come on. Number 2. The most important thing for everyone in our organization is that they love Jesus Christ with all their heart. Let's keep the main thing the main thing.
Speaker 2:It's love God, love others. But what's the first one? It's love God. Mhmm. So, yes, we can help our kids learn how to read.
Speaker 2:We could help them learn how to get a job. We can help them with their grades. But more than anything, we wanna teach them how to love God with all their heart, with all their heart, with all their mind, with all their soul, with all their strength. We are here to make disciples. We are here to teach young men and the single mothers the love of Jesus through our actions.
Speaker 2:And you can't do that unless you first love God. Your relationship with God, your intimacy with God is is what's gonna drive this whole thing. Intimacy with him leads to influence for him. And yeah. So, like, your relationship with God, your staff's relation with God, that's why we do Wednesday morning prayer.
Speaker 2:Right? It's like our staff needs to come together and pray
Speaker 3:for an
Speaker 2:hour because the most important thing that we can do is to love God with all our heart.
Speaker 3:Well, I love that Caroline shared this morning that that is one of her favorite parts of the week, is coming to Jesus together as a staff and developing that intimacy with him. And so it's it's not just as a mentoring organization helping our kids love Jesus, but also encouraging that within our staff and within our volunteers in what are our rhythms to cultivate that. And and so I don't I don't know what you feel as far as your responsibility to help people love Jesus, but I would say modeling it is probably a responsibility that you feel. Are there other things?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I know for me, a huge part of it comes down to who we hire. So in our interview processes, right, it's I try to figure out if this person truly loves Jesus. And obviously, that's hard. Right?
Speaker 2:But I try to discern as much as I can, and we try to
Speaker 3:Just give them trivial trivia
Speaker 2:Bible verses. What does Habakkuk Tuesday? You have 4 seconds. No. But, like, I mean
Speaker 3:Write the vision on the what?
Speaker 2:Ask someone to pray in the job interview. Hey, do you mind
Speaker 3:That's a great idea.
Speaker 2:Closing closing us out. And if it sounds like they've never prayed before, that's a red flag. But if, like, they're I mean, obviously people can sound, you know, but, like, hey, it's it's just one thing that I consider whenever, you know, call their call their pastors. Like, call their former job. Call the people who's in charge of the of their small group.
Speaker 2:Like, ask the hard questions. Like, hey, is this person just going through the motions or do do they truly love Jesus?
Speaker 3:Someone I just met with, they because I was talking to them about interviewing, and they said that if someone if someone is sharing overly too much about how much they love Jesus, that it might be a sign that they don't they're they're compensating for something. And I I I don't know. It does sound very difficult to try and discern, unless you have the the gift of discernment to really understand how much someone loves Jesus, but giving them practical ways to show you, I think.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I think shows in their experiences and and the way that they talk, the way that they pray.
Speaker 2:I'll also say, like, yes, it has a lot to do with who you hire, but ultimately, it comes down to you. If you want your staff to pray more, then you need to pray more. If you want your staff to fast, then you need to fast. If you want your staff to celebrate and to sing praises to him, then you need to lead out in that. Like, you are the leader.
Speaker 2:And so, ultimately, like, that responsibility to lead into his presence and to enter his gates with thanksgiving and praise, that's on you. And it's hard to put down on your calendar, I'm gonna love God for the next hour. Right? But it's like the intimacy that you cultivate in the secret place, and waking up early, and taking walks, and doing the things that no one sees, That's ultimate ultimately what creates a culture where Jesus truly is king and he really is first. And it's his organization, not yours.
Speaker 2:So those first two things do kinda go together, which leads right into the third thing, which is culture eats strategy for breakfast. It's our responsibility as leaders to make it the best place to work at. Our staff I want this to be a place where our staff loves coming to work. Because they feel loved, because they feel empowered, because they have friends, because they can feel the presence of God here. And that they know that they're making an impact for his kingdom.
Speaker 2:Yeah. There's no question. It's people over projects. Like, I used to hate going out to breakfast with our staff. Because in my head, I'm like, we could be doing work here, guys.
Speaker 2:Like, what the heck? We're just talking and sharing stories and having fun. Like, I don't have time for that. That's not on my job description.
Speaker 3:Crying together is not on your job
Speaker 2:description. Right. But
Speaker 3:we've done it.
Speaker 2:But it's like, what I've learned over the years is like, your culture, you know, it's everything. It drives everything. Yeah. And it's the atmosphere. It's the environment that you create.
Speaker 2:And you're the shepherd over that, You know, you are here to take care of the sheep. You're here to feed the sheep. You're here to lead the sheep. You're here to create a safe environment. I can't say that enough, a safe environment where your staff can take risks, where your staff can challenge you,
Speaker 3:where
Speaker 2:your staff can ask questions, where your staff can get angry, and can cry, and can apologize, and can have fun, and can feel loved. How does the staff react when you walk into the room? How are you impacting the atmosphere? Is it for good or for bad? Don't get me wrong.
Speaker 2:Strategy is important. You've gotta have good plans, you gotta have thought through plans, you gotta have action plans. But if you have the best plans ever, and people don't like to come to work, and they don't like you as a boss, it's not gonna work.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Right? So the most important thing is the culture that is felt when people enter into our nonprofit. What do you think about that?
Speaker 3:Yeah. I mean, culture will make you stay or go.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And so, I mean, obviously, organizations can be better off if you have people who are in it for the long haul and wanna stay around. And the environment of having those kind of foundational relationships that I mean, our our mentoring program would not work if every year all of our boys had new relationships. It would probably reinforce the trauma that they felt of I'm not worth people sticking around in my life. And so that especially for for our line of work, it's important. But I would say even for, I mean, church leaders, if you're going through constant transitions, possibly, it could be a culture issue and not just, oh, millennials, you know, they're looking for new jobs.
Speaker 3:And and so I I think that's important to to recognize how culture could influence the the longevity and the turnover of your organization. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And and just there and I've talked about this a ton on our podcast, but I used to have a pretty toxic culture. And I had to take a look at who was in charge. And it was all on me. And I had to really work hard on it.
Speaker 2:I had to surround myself with mentors. I had to ask the hard questions to to my staff. I had to do self evaluations, 360 evaluations. And I had to come to grips with the fact that I was a pretty terrible leader and people were scared of me. And I didn't encourage, and all I cared about was the bottom line.
Speaker 2:And people felt like they didn't feel like I cared about them. And if that's the culture that I have, I'm probably not advancing the kingdom. So
Speaker 3:I I will say, and this is just from my experience with you, is that you as the leader acknowledging your own growth areas creates a lot of opportunity for understanding for anyone that's under you. As well as understanding, you're a football coach. There everyone has an idea of what it's gonna be like if I work with a football coach, and that's not necessarily something like, that's a very intimidating, place to be Yeah. If you're if you're not ready for it, if you're not expecting it. And so you being honest with who you are helps define separate the culture from, like, your own personal growth areas, which then that creates the culture of being honest with where you're growing.
Speaker 3:And so, that's helped me to understand anytime you've been upset with me and wanted to challenge me and help me grow is because you love me, it's not because you hate me.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And that really helps when you have that culture of communicating areas of your own personal growth as the leader.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:Most people think the leader has to conceal all of their issues or their areas that they're trying to work on, and you haven't done that.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you. Craig Groeschel says, people would rather follow a leader who's always real than always right. Which leads me into the next point, number 4, God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Yeah. Humility is everything.
Speaker 2:Saying, I'm sorry, apologizing, saying, I need help, surrounding yourself with mentors, pursuing help, pursuing further education, reading books, listening to podcasts, surrounding yourself with wisdom, always be growing, and just knowing that you're not the man. Like, yeah, you might be in charge, but, like, you don't have it all figured out. And you can always get better. You can always become more like Jesus. And reflecting upon how others perceive you, reflecting upon why the heart, the why behind things that you do.
Speaker 2:You might do all the right things, but with the wrong heart. And the number one thing that I see most leaders have issues with is pride Mhmm. Is they start thinking success is because of them. Right? Which that goes back to the first thing.
Speaker 2:This is God's thing, not yours. But keeping that humility at the forefront and surrounding yourself with people who aren't yes men, but who will tell you straight up, hey, this is what I see in you, and this is an area to get better.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And receiving that feedback well, you know, that's a huge sign of wisdom. It's a huge sign of being mature, is being able to receive others hard feedback, and believing and knowing that they are for you, that they're not against you, but that they actually wanna help. I know for me, I used to get so mad at my board whenever they would tell me hard things. I would think that they would be out to get me. And then one day it hit me, this is a voluntary position.
Speaker 2:These men have volunteered their time. Would they volunteer their time to hurt me? Like, oh, man, I've got an extra 2 hours. I'm gonna go tell Zack how much he stings. Right?
Speaker 2:Like, when they hit me, I'm like, they might be on to something. And it turns out that they were. It's a big deal, man. Yeah. God opposes the proud.
Speaker 2:But he gives grace to the humble. Your staff opposes the proud of this community. Your donors. People oppose the proud. We give grace to the humble.
Speaker 3:It's okay
Speaker 2:if you don't know. It's okay if you're not the best at it. Just admit it. And then go ask people for help or delegate it to someone on our staff who is good at it.
Speaker 3:Well and I'm I'm feeling that pressure right now because coming into this role, trying to fill your big boots Custom.
Speaker 2:And So 17.
Speaker 3:And the 5 inch differential between our height, I'm feeling like I have to compensate. And there there is this temptation for me to act like I'm a know it all in order to present to our staff an image of we're gonna be okay as Zach's heading out. And and and so I do feel that pull and want to respond with humility. Like, the thought of my head is that leaders will either choose to be humble or they are choosing to be humbled. So if I'm not choosing to be humble, one day I'm gonna get humbled.
Speaker 2:If you do God's job and exalt yourself, he'll do your job and humble you. Yeah. Man. Leads us to the next one. Number 5, look in the mirror.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Self reflection. It's up to you to set the example. You're the leader and the org will reflect you. You are the standard.
Speaker 2:Is
Speaker 3:that why you made me buy a truck?
Speaker 2:Yes. But this goes back to you've got to look in the mirror because your org is going to reflect you.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And there's some really awesome things about you. And but there's also some things about you that aren't so awesome. Yeah. That's that's with all of us. You know, I might have a couple of good things going for me.
Speaker 2:I also have a lot of bad things going for me. But I've got to look in the mirror and know my weaknesses.
Speaker 3:It's like self awareness.
Speaker 2:Right. And be confident in my strengths. But having self awareness, reflection self reflection is, in my opinion, an extremely underrated aspect of being a leader. Like, just knowing where you're like, I know I'm intimidating. I know when I stand up in a meeting, I get more passionate and people take that as me being mad.
Speaker 2:I know I have a tendency to not pick up after myself. I know I don't give people enough time to do the jobs that I ask them to do. These are all things that I know. So I can apologize for them often and I can prepare to kinda safeguard my staff. Hey, guys.
Speaker 2:Look. I know I might sound passionate, but or mad, but I'm really just passionate. I'm sorry if that's how it comes across. Mhmm. Right?
Speaker 2:And that really helps with being humble. So So
Speaker 3:would you say self awareness leads you to communicate that preemptively rather than
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:In Right. In apology.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Well, it's both. Like, hey, like, this might happen. So just be aware of that. And then when it does happen, just be like, hey, sorry.
Speaker 2:It's just one of my weaknesses. And like that, honestly, like that shows your staff that it's okay to be human. That shows your staff that it's okay to mess up. That shows your staff that, like, you make mistakes too. And you are leading a nonprofit where it's okay to make mistakes, and it's okay to say I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Right? Like
Speaker 3:Some mistakes.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:You listen to the last podcast about things that kill your organization.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Don't don't do those. But authenticity creates more authenticity.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:So if, like, people are scared to speak up, people are scared to tell the truth, people are scared to say, hey, we're not very good at this. Well, that's probably because they're watching you.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 2:And you're the one saying, everything's fine. Everything's great. It's on fire, but everything's fine. I swear. You know, so which that rolls right into the next one.
Speaker 2:Be brutally honest with yourself and believe the best about others. Wow. That's good. So when your organization fails, which we always do, take the blame. It's on you.
Speaker 2:You're in charge. When you do something well, which will happen, pass it on to your staff. You take the blame when it's bad, when it succeeds, you pass the price.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And being honest with yourself. It's, you know, if there's 99 things going right for you in one thing that's wrong, I don't want to say fixate on that one thing, but just be aware of it. And just be open and honest. Be open and honest about it with if you have a coach, if you have friends, if you have someone on your board with your mentor. Hey, I I feel like I'm, you know, pretty I feel like I have an inability to receive praise.
Speaker 2:I have an inability to to celebrate. That's one of my big things. Right? So I'm going to my board chairman who's awesome, and I'm just saying, hey, I don't know how to celebrate. Can you help me with that?
Speaker 2:I don't know how to receive positive feedback. Can you help me with I think that I think that, you know, I think that that's a big thing. And believing the best about others. Whenever someone's late, maybe it's not because they're lazy. Maybe it's because there was traffic.
Speaker 2:Or maybe it's because, you know, their spouse had an emergency pop up. Maybe it's because they had to take their kid to go to the doctor. You know, when someone doesn't finish a deadline, when someone doesn't meet a deadline, maybe it's not because they were sitting on the computer playing, you know, playing Minesweeper, but maybe it's because
Speaker 3:Minesweeper.
Speaker 2:You asked them to do 15 other things and they're just, you know Do you
Speaker 3:think I'm playing Minesweeper?
Speaker 2:Sometimes. And they're just overwhelmed. Right? It's like believing the best about others, allowing them to, you know, have the benefit of the doubt. That can really help your culture.
Speaker 2:That can really help you like the people that you work with. So that also creates a standard where it's like, if my boss works on the things that he's not good at, then that gives me permission to work on the things that I'm not good.
Speaker 3:Yeah. That's good.
Speaker 2:So I think that's a big deal.
Speaker 3:Alright. Minesweeper.
Speaker 2:That's a great game. Almost as good as Tetris.
Speaker 3:Well, I I feel like for for our situation, what that always ends up being is that I'm working on something that's less less important than the priority. Mhmm. And but the the belief is, like, your your report is, like, wasting their time, and believing the best is, like, leading them into what's best for them, giving them feedback and encouragement to do their job, and and not just harboring resentment. Yeah. So
Speaker 2:Yeah. Like, it's a it's a big deal to believe the best about the people that you work with. You know, most people wanna do a good job. Most people wanna work hard. And if they're not, it's because they are doing the best they can, they still have the tools.
Speaker 2:So it's up to you as a leader to provide them with the tools.
Speaker 3:Well, and it seems like that redirection deal, that's like, you gotta have the sauce to be able to do that and not disrupt or disappoint someone and create a conflict, but, like, real leaders have some finesse on that redirection.
Speaker 2:Redirection like what?
Speaker 3:So so say I'm doing something that I think is important, but you have a priority or have something that you're like, if we look at everything that's happening, am I doing the thing that is moving the ball forward or not? Mhmm. And if the answer is no, why why am I putting that above whatever that thing is? When when it comes to that redirection, I guess this this part of giving someone redirection, seeing it as an opportunity to to help them do their job, not I hate you because you're not doing a job.
Speaker 2:I told you to have this to me at 5. Why are you working at on this thing? Because I thought it was important. You're an idiot. I feel you.
Speaker 2:I feel you. Which this leads me into my next point, Steven. Number 7, do what is right, not what is popular. And this includes saying what needs to be said in the right way.
Speaker 3:That is a good clarifier.
Speaker 2:So many times I say the thing that needs to be said in the worst possible way. Why are you doing that? I don't understand. I told you to have this done. Why aren't you doing it?
Speaker 2:Right? Instead, I could ask questions. Hey, tell me what you're working on. Oh, tell me why you chose to work on that and not this. Okay.
Speaker 2:Well, tell me more about that. Right? Like, asking questions to try to prove your point instead of, like Railing it. Instead of yelling at someone sternly with whenever my, like, nose gets real big because I shouldn't
Speaker 3:One side is, like, passive aggressive. The other side I don't know what the other side of passive aggressive.
Speaker 2:Dude. You not remember what I said I want this done at 5? Why aren't you doing you know, like, no. Don't don't be that boss. Right?
Speaker 2:But don't be the guy who's like, right? Ask ask questions. Believe the best. Do what's right. Say what needs to be said, not what not what is popular.
Speaker 2:It's not your job to be their best friend. It's your job to be their leader. People need a father, not a brother. They need someone who's gonna, you know, gently correct and gently guide and teach and equip. But it's that, like, saying what needs to be said in the right way.
Speaker 2:I know for me, if I'm going to have a hard conversation, I better prepare for it. If I have to have a hard conversation, that's going to take 2 minutes. It's going to take me 10 to prepare for it. But the but that 10 that I spend on preparing is so worth it because it goes so much better. I know my weaknesses and I have a hard time being gentle.
Speaker 2:I have a hard time asking questions and being patient. And so I have to prepare. I have legitimately I've done this, Steven, with you. I have written out verbatim what I wanna say and I've read it to you so that I don't say something dumb.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And so but it's worth it because you feel honored, you feel respected, you feel like I'm calling you up, not calling you out. Yeah. That's a big deal. But fearing God over fear of man. Right?
Speaker 2:Whenever you have someone who works for you, it is your job to guide them. It's your job to shepherd them. It's your job to lead them. God has entrusted that person to you. And he says, hey, I've given you this person for an amount of time.
Speaker 2:Maybe it's 6 months, maybe it's 6 years. And I expect when they're finished with you, they're better and they love me more and they have more skills. Mhmm. Right? Like that, faithful with the little master over much.
Speaker 2:Like, you're a steward. And the people that work for you, you're called to steward them well. Mhmm. To guide them well.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it's fear of God. Like, what is the Lord telling you to say to this person? You know, it's not fear of man. It's not I'm scared to hurt their feelings or what if they don't like me or what happens, you know, does that perfect love cast out fear. So saying these right things in love instead of in condemnation Mhmm.
Speaker 2:It's a big deal.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So say say there's and this is purely hypothetical. Say there's a leader that chooses that the right thing is just to let things go. And that that's that's their constant tendency is to just give people the benefit of the doubt and not address those things. What would be your encouragement to them?
Speaker 3:Hypothetically, of course.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Right? This doesn't sound like you at all. What if I hate hate confrontation and never wanna say hard things to people? Just, I have a friend, I swear.
Speaker 2:Now, this is why it's so important and this goes back to the first two things. This is why it's so important to get with the Lord and let the spirit lead. Lord, I see this that's going on with this person that works for me. What do you think I should do? God, show me how you want me to guide them.
Speaker 2:Show me how you want me to lead them. Holy Spirit lead. Right? Asking for wisdom. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like, that's a huge deal because, you know, the first time someone does something, I'm gonna, okay. That's interesting. But I'm gonna remember it. The second time, I'll be like, okay, that's, that's kind of a flag. The third time, right, I should probably say something.
Speaker 2:The 4th time, I should I should for sure say something. Mhmm. And if I let something go, it's not their fault. It's my fault.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 2:Because I'm allowing it to happen. Right? It's a lot like and this is an example. Obviously, the people who work for me, I'm not saying they're like my children. But if I let my kids in my house I have kids at my house.
Speaker 2:If I let them make fun of each other, if I let them say bad words, if I let them complain, is it their fault or my fault? Mhmm. Right? It's my house. It's my environment.
Speaker 2:I'm in charge. And they're and, like, they they're just doing what I'm allowing them to do. Yeah. So that's the hard part of being a leader. Like, sometimes you gotta have hard conversations.
Speaker 2:You've heard me say this. 80, 90% of being a good leader saying the right thing or saying what needs to be said in the right way. It's having hard conversations. Crucial Conversations is an awesome book. There's a ton of great resources out there to teach you how to have those hard conversations well.
Speaker 2:And I encourage any leader, hey, go and get those books. Go and pick up those podcasts. Because I don't know one person that hard conversations come easy and come naturally. It's an acquired taste. Like, you you have to learn how to do it.
Speaker 2:I had to learn how to ask a bunch of questions. So do what is right, not what is popular.
Speaker 3:It's really good. If you're that hypothetical leader, check the show notes. Really?
Speaker 2:This hybrid let's just say his name's s Murray. Oh, wait. No. No. No.
Speaker 2:That's way too what about Steven m? Alright. The next one. Number 8. Hire well and let them do their job.
Speaker 2:I know for me, it's like, I wanna hire people and then do their job for them. Like, oh, why don't you do this? Why don't you do that? You know? No.
Speaker 2:Like, hire well. Have an interview process that works. Be be super thorough in calling their people that they put on their job applications, their references. Ask them the hard questions and don't hire out of emergency. Don't hire out of Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Desperation. But know what you want, know what you need, don't budge on your non negotiables, and wait until that person comes. It's your job as a leader to remove roadblocks, encourage often, and champion your staff. It's not your job to do their job. That's their job.
Speaker 2:That's why we pay them.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:It's your job to give them everything that they need to do that job well.
Speaker 3:That's really good.
Speaker 2:I mean, like, you know I have an issue with wanting to do your job. Tell me how that makes you feel. Whenever I'm I'm like, Steven, you have full authority to do whatever you want, and then you do it. And I'm like, no. No.
Speaker 2:No. No. No. No. Change this.
Speaker 2:No. No. No. Yes.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I mean, it's a shot at your confidence and just how much you believe in me or
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Also it just creates more work for me.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Right.
Speaker 3:So that
Speaker 2:Zach, I just spent 4 hours doing this, and now you're telling me that I need like, why didn't you just tell me exactly what you had in mind the first
Speaker 3:time? Yeah. And, I mean, that's that's something to work through, but, you know, I mean, belief goes a lot further than you think. Like, the times that you've just said, I trust you, that goes so much further
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:For me and my job than the times that, I guess, you approach those conversations with scrutiny, and I have to do it down to the detail of everything that you want. Yeah. Or I'm like, oh, he doesn't doesn't trust me.
Speaker 2:Yeah. That sounds like Thank you. Lord help me. Always be growing. But, yes.
Speaker 2:Hire well
Speaker 3:in legend. Also pay well?
Speaker 2:Yeah. For sure. Like, you must definitely
Speaker 3:need that well. Because nonprofits are are probably historically known for
Speaker 2:Don't get me started. Don't get me started. If a person's working 2 jobs, if they're worried about where they're you know, how they're gonna pay for their kid's food, they're not gonna be doing a good job. Like, you need to pay to give the person that works for you safety and everything that they need and trust that the Lord's gonna provide, like and that goes into everything that we talk about in the segments about how to fundraise. But, man, if you want quality people, you gotta pay for quality people because there's a reason why this person costs $40,000.
Speaker 2:And there's a reason why this person costs a $100,000. And so If you
Speaker 3:have a scarcity mentality, you'll probably hire people that have a scarcity mentality.
Speaker 2:Potentially. But or you'll just hire some kitties like 19 and oh, yeah. I think I can do a PowerPoint. But yeah. Hire well.
Speaker 2:Let them do their job. And so yeah. But learn how to delegate, learn how to believe, learn how to empower, learn how to give trust. That does go a long way. Yeah.
Speaker 3:It's really good.
Speaker 2:Which that leads us to number 9. One thing that they need to do their job well is vision. So number 9 is vision first, vision last. Yeah. Habakkuk 2.
Speaker 2:Write those on a tablet. Put them up on the wall. Never forget your vision. Talk about it daily. Never lose sight of the call that the Lord has for your organization.
Speaker 2:For us, it's the fatherless and the single mother. Remind people about it often. You need to talk about it so much that people make fun of you because of how much you talk about it. Have taglines, put it on t shirts, put it on the wall, vision, vision, vision, vision.
Speaker 3:So good.
Speaker 2:They say that in order to run a quality nonprofit, you need 5 things. 1, you need to love Jesus Christ with all your heart. 2, you need to be able to promote vision to the top. That doesn't mean that you need to be the visionary, but you just need to promote it. 3, you need to know how to run a nonprofit.
Speaker 2:4, you need to know and be convicted about mentoring. And then 5, you need to have CEO quality type skills, which is how to manage, how to lead, how to listen, how to be humble. Those are the 5 things. The first thing's vision. Right?
Speaker 2:Well, the first thing's how to love Jesus, but vision's also up there. Yeah. Big deals, man. Big deals. Just talk about it until you're sick.
Speaker 2:Like, just vision vision vision vision.
Speaker 3:And that's it's funny that you could lose sight of the vision. And eve even in the the practice of leading an organization, like, that that could get away from you Mhmm. Because there's so many different details and budgets and promotional things and events and and projects that you could get lost in the the ground level and Mhmm. Lose where you're going.
Speaker 2:Right. I mean, it's like, let's say we are got our backs up against the wall, and we need to raise a $100,000 in the next month. Right? And we're a mentoring organization. We mentor.
Speaker 2:We build relationships. And someone comes to us and says, hey, I'll give you a $100,000 if you guys start a food pantry. Mhmm. Now don't get me wrong, a food pantry is awesome. But sometimes in my fear, oh my gosh, I need that $100,000.
Speaker 2:Well, it'll be okay if I just say yes, you know. Well, if you say yes, like, yeah, you've met budget, but you've also just created a ridiculous amount of work that you're not really passionate about and that God hasn't called you to. So, stay on vision, stay on mission. It's a big deal.
Speaker 3:And you've taken that from someone else
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:Who would carry it better than you.
Speaker 2:Exactly. So yeah. Last one. Number 10. Self care is not selfish.
Speaker 2:So if you're running on empty, if you burn out, if you're not getting with the Lord, if you're not filled up spiritually, if things are going bad in your marriage, if your kids hate you, that's not gonna be good for the organization.
Speaker 3:I've never said I've never heard someone say that, that burnout is selfish. That's blowing my mind right now.
Speaker 2:Because you think it's all up to you. I have to work more because it's up to me, because it's my organization, because what happens if we fail then it's all on me? What are people gonna think about me? I'm gonna be seen as a failure. People are gonna laugh at me, you know.
Speaker 2:It's self care is not selfish. Rest. Have fun. Invest in yourself. Go pay $500 a month to get coached.
Speaker 2:Do it and watch what happens. Invest into yourself. Go pay $1,000. Right? I guarantee that that $12,000 spent that you could have spent on, you know, I don't know, not a basketball court.
Speaker 2:Like, investing in yourself as the leader is gonna go so much further and your org's gonna be so much healthier because of that. Make time for your wife and kids. Go home at a good hour. You know? Like, yeah, you do need to work hard.
Speaker 2:There's no doubt about that. But you also need to take care of yourself.
Speaker 3:So you just said burnout is selfish and that you as a leader are a long term investment. Mhmm. And so you want to to invest in the things that are the long term, that are important, not urgent. I mean, that's just really good, Zach. That one's blowing my mind.
Speaker 3:Why is that the last one?
Speaker 2:Save the best for last, my man. But it's not the best because Jesus is the best. You feel me? This one's huge. Okay?
Speaker 2:Surround yourself with life giving friends. Yeah. And we've talked about this, but, you know, surround yourself with people who are gonna add to your life. People the book People Fuel. I think it's by John John Townsend.
Speaker 2:Great book. Like, yeah, there's some people that God has called you to. Maybe there's to disciple to serve, But you've got to take a look at your friends and you got to take a look at who you're spending your time with. And how do you leave when after you spend time with them? Do you feel drained or do you feel filled up?
Speaker 2:Right? Who you hang out with matters. You know, eagles fly with eagles. And so for me, it's been extremely beneficial to hang out with other CEOs because they understand and they can give me advice, they can give me wisdom. It's really important for me to go play golf or to go play basketball or to workout, to exercise.
Speaker 2:Man, exercise is so big. But just know that self care is not selfish. Like, oh, I could stay here and help one more kid. Well, yeah, but if you burn out this whole thing dies. Right?
Speaker 2:And then we talked about this. Burnout leads to tiredness, leads to not spending time with God, leads to temptation, leads to you make a big mistake. Right? So that's that. Those are the top ten things.
Speaker 2:If you wanna start a mentoring org, if you are running 1, if you're a leader, those are 10 things to keep in mind as you become all that the Lord has for you. And as you run your mentoring org in the name of Jesus, you run it well. Kids are getting blessed. Families are experiencing Jesus Christ because of you. These are just some things to keep in mind.
Speaker 2:So
Speaker 3:Love it. If if something one of those 10 stands out to you, let us know about it. Text us. Email us.
Speaker 2:Share this thing. Give us a 5 star on where you consume podcast. I think that's such a weird word, consume podcast. Oh, that's consume podcast. I am cookie monster, but that's all I got.
Speaker 2:We love you guys. If you
Speaker 3:If you're playing Minesweeper right now, cut that out.
Speaker 2:And know that you can mentor.