Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Gav and Dan lend their unique perspective to horror films and the world surrounding them. With Gav's unique perspective as a filmmaker and Dan's peculiar perspectives, The Podcast on Haunted Hill offers a fresh view of horror cinema!
The podcast on Haunted Hill will contain spoilers and swearing.
I am the devil and I am here to do the devil's work.
Please, Elvis, Michael,
be one of us.
I didn't tell you my name. Hang up. I didn't tell them my name.
They're all apart. They're all apartheid.
Come, it is time to keep your appointment.
Hello and welcome to the podcast on Haunted Hill, episode 162.
My name is Gavin. My name is Dan.
We are both Ciao. We are both Ciao Bella. We are both
very well spoken british people.
Remember not. But no, I don't know what that was. But we do well dubbing
over a giallo movie, which is a great segue.
Yes, indeed. We are doing some italian films today for our
patron special. Thank you. Indeed we are. Indeed we are.
Yeah. Episode 162. Very exciting, very excited.
Welcome back or welcome first time, as I said before,
welcome back. Welcome front.
If it's your first time, it's the front. And if
it's returning, it's the back. You're always
welcome around the back. I hope everybody's happy
and well in the world and things are going swimmingly.
If you're a shark, expect they go swimmingly, don't they?
Well, they are going swimmingly because Oasis have reunited.
So they're going to be making absolute millions
of pounds for about six shows. And to be honest with
you, they're probably going to have an argument and not do the shows. Yeah,
probably. I don't really care. I do.
We're trying to get tickets. Speaking of swimming in sharks,
watched a couple of shark movies recently. You saw no way up.
Yes, you did. Talk about this on the last episode. Really? Oh,
okay. Sorry. I won't speak of it. Then we talked about how it was potentially
a bit like the Poseidon. Cause I haven't seen it yet. A bit like the
Poseidon adventure, that kind of thing. Watched another sharp movie
with Sarah, but I can't remember the name of it. But that wasn't too bad
as well. And it was the last film. Sarah actually posted it on Facebook.
It was the last film of Fumigi
who went missing and passed away, unfortunately, in the desert.
Julian Sands. It wasn't a bad shark film. That's not worth
checking out. There is no such thing as a bad shark film, Gav.
I had to take out a shutter subscription because I've packed all my films away.
My copy of torso is in a box somewhere.
So I took out a shudder subscription to watch it, and I
saw now they've got a shot exploitation documentary, you know,
going through there. It's very good. Is it? Yeah, obviously I've seen it.
I was going to check it out. Yeah, it's very good. And it talks
about, you know, everything, you know, from jewels downwards,
basically. I will check it. I do find shadow a bit annoying and a
bit crap, to be honest with you. I went. I was like, oh, I watched
the de Argento documentary.
So what? Started watching it and it's got hard,
burnt subtitles, but then there's other subtitles on top and
I couldn't turn them off. You, Karen. I had to work this out.
Don't you? Yeah, I couldn't do it at all. I tried on both
my tv going through Amazon with a shutter. And that
wasn't all the colors of Jello, was it? That was Derogento
doctor. And so I had to give up. It was really frustrating.
I had that happen with tennis brain. No, I had that happen with torso
Shudder, where there were two subtitles, but I was
able to remove one set of them.
It's the smart tv that we've got. We've got a new tv,
everybody. First one in about nine years. And it's a fire tv. It's smart,
so it detects when there's a language that isn't English
being spoken. Therefore, Chuck subtitles on, even though they're hard encoded in
sometimes a lot of the time. Very annoying. So I had to restart.
But it's fine. It's just a press of a button for me. But it sounds
like I've had more. Yeah,
that was quite frustrating, actually. So I don't know. It's a bit weird on that,
but it's not really shudders fault, but. Well, we've already started talking about what
we've been watching. Before we get any further into shenanigans, let's quickly
run through what this show is about. This episode is about.
This is a patron.
For those who don't know, we have patron supporters. We love them all very
much. And as one of the many treats and rewards of being a patron
supporter, every three episodes, episodes, one of
our patrons gets to pick the movies, the films that we review.
So we have a king patron for this episode, and that is Kevin
S. Fife. What if someone picks porn at some point? Do we have to review
porn? Yes, as long as there's a horror element to it.
How weird that would be to review porn.
I really like the bit where they went to reverse cowgirl.
Well, I mean, as long as there's a and to it. Yeah,
that's the funny thing. Just the actual, not the sex. But reviewing of the plot
would be hilarious. Then the plumber turns up. The act in here
is just she. I don't believe she's coming in
that scene. Um, yes, sorry, kev, we've already started.
So Kevin S. Fife is. Let me just get the crown out
of the box,
shine it up a bit. Oh, get that smear off of it and pop
that on his imaginary head for this episode because he is our king
patron and has picked two giallo movies.
Giallo. Giallo. For us to review.
He's a huge giallo fan. I've got an email to read out from him
in a moment. He has picked 1970
three's torso directed
by Sergio Martino. Lots of boobs,
lots of orgies, lots of killers
and serial killers. That's what Giallo movies are.
We'll break down a little bit of Giallo later on in the episode before we
get into the movies. And he's paired that up with one of
my favorite Argento movies of all time. We haven't covered it yet and
I'm really excited that he picked it.
Tenebrae from 1982 with a fantastic John Saxon.
That's a little side character in there, John Saxon and his hat.
My dvd copy is actually signed by Dero Argento
as well. Sexy. I love Dario Argento.
I do. He's my second favorite horror movie
director of all time behind Mister Carpenter. And my third favorite,
as discussed, is Sam Raimi. But we won't get into that now. But Dario Argento
is awesome. So yeah, it's also in Tenebrae, the two teeth,
one from the early seventies, one from the early eighties. Some good examples of
Giallo. And that's what we're covering. In a minute we're going to get into what
we've been watching. Bill Murray is here as well. He's already
donning some black leather gloves and some red stilettos.
Ready for word of the strange later on. I'm not sure why he's or
how he found red stilettos in his size, but he's
squeezing his feet into them as we speak. Oh, you're painting your toenails as well.
Excellent. Very good, Bill. He gets into the spirit of
it. And Gav with the other big exciting
news is Gav went to this year's London
frightfest. For those who don't know,
Frightfest is a festival festival that takes place in London every year. A horror
movie festival. A bit like a comic con of
horror, as it were. I'm sure everybody knows what it is. Five days. Five days.
I never. I can't do five days. I can only do a day at the
most because it's just too. It's too much. My little brain.
Gareth's been to probably. I don't think.
I think you've missed one or two years in the last, maybe 20
years. Am I right? It was the 25th and I think this
was my 21st. There we go. So that's decent. Sometimes I.
Like last year, I just popped up. Ben had never been. I popped up and
we just watched up one film and left, like, on the Thursday night. So sometimes
I am just popping in and out. But did a day yesterday, which is quite
nice. Not yesterday. The weekend is gone. It was
quite nice to chat to lots of buddies
from there, which I've not seen for a long time, obviously. A shame boss was
not there. So I was just about to say, I mean, I've only
been twice, obviously, both with you.
I'd love to do it more often, but I'm a bit further away from.
From London. The new Kate was there. Yes,
I saw Kate and Matt were there. And frightfest
is a community, a family feel. Even though I've only
been twice, I can say that, you know, I feel. You feel that you also
get to sort of mingle with some of more celebrities and icons
within horror. Because I know Neil Marshall was there, for example, and we'll talk
about that in a minute. And a few other people show up here and there
and you get, you know, exclusive screenings
and directors to give a talk before their shows occasionally.
That's cool. But, yeah, we'd be. We wouldn't. We would be remiss if we didn't
mention Boz, bless him, who was
very much a part of the frightfest family. So it was very strange,
probably, for you to be there and not bump into him at some point.
But, yeah, I just wanted to mention. That it's funny because I've got friends from
there, which I've known for years, but I only ever see them there.
Yeah, once a year. Yeah. And then sometimes I might see him shout
out to Sheridan, I've seen him for years. And each year I'm like,
I'll see you this year. And saw him
like twice. We actually hanged out and chatted.
So it's really nice. And a lot of people know they're actually filmmakers and a
lot of time is really good for just connecting with different filmmakers because
things happen. For example, chat to. I always
try and chat to Nicholas Vince, who's teeth chatterer
from Hellraiser. Yeah. Yeah. And chat way to him. And I actually
said about a role in the film that I'm doing at the moment, Amanda.
And so he support him and so he's
gonna take a look. So I'm hoping he's could be in that, actually. So it's
just things like that you could do. Little connections, which is really quite nice.
Well, the first year we went, we were pimping the shadow
of death. We both wore shadow with the t shirts and we took a load
of stickers and we, the expendables,
had just come out and we went up to the big giant expendable sign in
the Leicester square Odeon and we slapped
sand Chuck Norris over all the mouths of all the expendables, which is very
naughty of us. But someone must be like,
what? Yeah, but fuck it.
It's just a happenstance of having them stickers. The next bundles came out.
It's really weird. But yeah, little did we know Chuck would appear in one of
them further down the line, you know, gross. Rose is great. But anyway, I'm going
to jump out now to Gav, who. Who is live.
Oh, he's gav there. He was live at
the festival. Then I think. Then I think he's going to be on the train
home. But anyway. Oh, let's cut to gav then.
Gav, are you there, Gav? Oh, cheers, Gav. Nice to hear from you guys.
Dan and Gav, I hope you're both well. Audience members, listeners, lovely people.
I hope you're well in the world. Here we are, Leicester Square with
Mark. Hi. Hi. How you doing? I'm very well,
very well. And Ben, but he's gone for a little Jimmy Riddle.
Jimmy Riddle. A tittle. A piddle, a riddle. Anyway, here we
are. And we've watched three movies so far.
Yeah. Two of them have been about dating and ghosts and actually go sit
and have sex. It's really weird. And not that great either.
Yeah. The third one we went to go. And see was like a camp romp
comedy. Come. The second one
was definitely come. Definitely. It was like ghost without the pottery.
The second one should have been the second one. If the aim was for the
ghost to get who killed him, then I was like, oh, that'd be good.
I was like, oh, that's ghost. It's been done. It's done in the eighties.
Anyway, so what's the first movie we watched? The. The dead thing,
which is a good name, just not a good film. So. Not gonna recommend
that one, unfortunately. And we see the premiere. So you guys may see
them if they get picked up, if go into oblivion.
Scone into oblivion. Yeah, exactly. To where the ghosts are.
The second movie watch is pretty good, though. And that's called the desert.
Yeah. That's about a photographer who just goes out taking,
like, old timey camera and just goes and gets photos of his book.
Yeah. And his idea is just to go out and potentially get lost without any
mobile phone and then goes out. Then something happens. So a private
eye gets in, like,
involved. Yeah. And tries to track him down. Tries to track him down.
And then things happen. But that's a decent movie, so I'm not gonna spoil that.
Ben's in now. Say, hello, Ben. Hello, Ben. See?
And then the third movie we just watched was called. Oh, look,
there's Neil Marshall, director of Dog Soldiers, like, just there in the blue shirt.
Yeah. What was the movie?
It was that bad? Oh, God. What was it?
The third movie was.
I can't even remember what it was called. Fuck, I don't know what it's called.
It started off all right as a lady bird. Ladybird or Ladybug.
Ladybug. Ladybug. It's not very
good, unfortunately. It started off quite good. It's like a campy, gay kind of
drama type comedy.
A camp cabin comedy. Yeah. Anyway, and that was just. It started off
pretty good, and then it just went downhill, unfortunately.
Like that movie we watched once called downhill. And anyway,
here we are now. Like I said, there's Neil Marshall over there.
We're going to say, oh, Neil, speak to the people. And he's
not gonna. So I'm not gonna do that. Next movie. Next movie coming up is
cold wallet. Cold wallet 610. Don't know much about that.
And then the substance after that substance, which has got Demi Moore in.
Yeah, well, okay, cool. I think the next one's produced
by Stephen Soderbergh. Okay. Anyway, we'll be back
with our feelings of the last two movies. Might be on this, on the train
home from London, but, yeah, that's what we're doing. So anyway,
we'll be back soon. Well, I'm back in here. I am
a bit quieter now, sitting on a train on the way home. Lovely. Ladies and
gentlemen, listeners, we watched a movie which is called Cold
Wallet, presented by Steven Soderbergh. I don't. We actually had to do of it.
That was pretty decent. Kind of a revenge drama,
if anything, rather than horror. But we just got out of
the substance. Premiere. European premiere. And what was that? Any good,
Bentley? It was awesome. Mark.
Sorry, I've just eaten a revel and I'm choking.
Unfucking believable. Unbelievable.
Yeah. Demi Moore. I've never
seen Demi Moore like it. Especially at the end.
You didn't want to see Demi Moore after saying that, no more demi.
But at the beginning it was fine to see Demi. She was great in
it. She probably. Probably the best performance of her career, I'd imagine.
Unbelievable. Yeah, no, it was amazing. So definitely recommend
for that. Yeah, that'd be coming out in cinemas
normally, so everybody has to go check that out. Anyway, Dan and Gav, back to
you. Well, thanks, Gav. Well, thank you, Gav. And Mark
and Ben, but mainly Gav.
Yeah. Wow. It sounds like you've watched a whole bunch of movies,
some of them more memorable, some of them not. Two ghost movies,
which are to do with ghost and dating apps and ghosts.
Like, they're both movies where they go along and then after a while they're
like, oh, I'm having sex with a ghost. It's like, how.
How's this happening? And then I'm ackroyd. But the
third one we watched, this happened. Lady bug.
It was a camp, gay, sort of campy film
where this artist called Grayson goes out to this cabin
and he, when he's there, he's like,
he goes to the general store and says, oh, can you send out a handyman?
No, he rings up, send out a handyman because my plumbing's like gone,
blah, blah, blah. Oh, yeah. Well, it turns out when he goes
in, he's just all of a sudden there's a guy there, just comes out door
and he's like, oh. And he goes, oh, hi. Yeah. Oh, I'm a
plumber. He goes, I always get wet in these jobs. And all
the fright festers laughed. And the guy's like, oh,
it was like a Benny Hill sketch. It was brilliant. Then he goes,
yeah, these pipes, they haven't seen any action for a while, sort of
thing. Everyone's laughing again. It's like, what? But it
did, it did a thing at the end where I felt kind of bad for
filmmakers and I hope they're not listening, where the audience
kind of laughed a lot. But there's a bit where this is a spoiler,
but that's not really. There's a bit where someone's stabbing a painting
and it's a painting of the person that's there. And all of a sudden we
watch the person and mark fought the same as me. After us,
we thought the head was going to explode. The cameras focused on it.
What did it do? Dripping just vanished. That was it.
And cuz it just vanished. There's no effect and there's a build up frightfest.
The audience just laughed out loud and I was home on.
I feel bad for the filmmakers, but that was one those moments.
But anyway, the main film I watched, cold wallet, is pretty good
as well. In the desert is pretty good. Worth checking out. And the main
film though, which I. I've been thinking about for days.
I'm hoping. You've been thinking about two things for days, haven't you?
Demi Moore's breast.
I'm wondering if it changes the horror landscape.
I don't ever say stuff like this. I've been thinking about quite a lot.
This film of substance which is out next month for everyone and
national cinemas and stuff. You all need to go check it out really. It is
body horror. But because you've got Demi Moore in it, it kind
of gives it a bit of pedigree as such because you don't. I can't think
of many horror films she's been in. But there's something
else with it as well. It works on so many levels.
There's like a pop feel to it. For the younger audiences it's all about
age and getting older and what you can do to change that.
It is. The editing is incredible, the cinematography is
credible, the scripts incredible, the effects incredible.
Demi Moore's performance, incredible. Alan Jones, the organized
main organizer. Frightfest was like, you know, I hope Demi wins an Oscar for
this but the academy won't recognize it.
It's really frustrating. I can't talk about. But one day we will cover the film
because it's a big conversation. It's 2
hours 20 minutes. It's. Yeah. I've not seen
Demi Moore like it before. What's interesting about lots,
what's interesting about this film, listeners is body horror as
well as many of you will know. Gav, eight out of ten for me.
Gov does not like body horror. No,
he. I talk about you like you're not here. He also doesn't usually
rate new films this high. Particularly a body horror film.
And a film over 2 hours is a struggle for anyone really.
But you don't like the longer runtime. But you've come out of this absolutely
raving about it. It's probably one of the best films I've seen. End fright
first. It's almost so horror masterpiece
in. I'm big this up now. Someone's gonna go
along, watch it and go thinking it's gonna be this level.
They're gonna go and watch it. And it's not gonna be. You don't wanna hype
it up. I don't want to in that sense, but at the same time,
I really think it could help the horror genre to become more
normalized. A bit like when everybody
was going on about late night with the devil and you said to me,
it is amazing, but I don't want to over egg it for you. Just watch
it, see what you think. The director she
did. Oh, I've got to know what her name is now. So I feel rude.
She did revenge was her film before. Oh, yes. That's great movie.
Yeah, yeah. Which was very bloody. This is. This is a
totally different type of film. It is.
I don't know, it's like Tarantino and
Stanley Kubrick come together and made a film. Horror is
having a bit of a resurgence over the last year. This year has been
good for horror. Last year was pretty good. This year's been good.
Coral, I get, I think
her name is the director and she
wrote it. And she hasn't done much revenge. No,
not really. I think she's done three or four films. Maybe it makes you go,
what the fuck are you doing next? Because just the editing
alone. But I feel like you have to watch in a cinema
for experience. Like you would say a Stanley Kubrick
film or something. Nice.
It's good. The last 20 minutes almost goes to a different place a bit,
but I'm not going to get into it.
Yeah, it's an incredible film. I don't like body horror, but it's incredible.
Amazing. Well, the substance. Ladies and gentlemen, Gav's film of
frightfest and so far his film of many fright fests.
Do check it out. I will be doing the same. I'm glad you
had a good time at Frightfest. Always jealous of or envious is probably the
better words when you go. But like I said, it's difficult for me to get
there, so. Yeah, I still though, I find five films quite
hard to watch. You know, you get about
a 30 minutes gap between. But it's a bit like, oh, let's get out
in the sunshine. Right back in. I know, I remember us running out,
getting a Burger king, running back. Running out, getting a pint,
running back in, you know. Interesting.
But it's fun. It's fun. Fun. Yeah. Teddy.
Well, I've been watching lots of movies,
so I'd like to talk about some of those. I don't know if you've got
a few to talk about other than Brightfest as well. Not really. You crack
on okay. Well, I read today, in fact, I watched a
new David Cronenberg movie, crimes of the future,
which is with Kristen Stewart and Viggo
Mortensen. You won't like it. It's body horror,
but it's like really slow,
disgusting, licking open wounds and organs
being removed and tattooed and put back in and mutations
because it's slightly. In the future. It was really
slow. Not his best film, but it was worth a watch. What is it?
A Cronenberg and this body horror thing that. Yeah, it's fetish.
He's 79 when he made it. He's 81. Nice. He was 79 when he made
this. I guess it's just his thing that he likes.
He's basically invented his own genre, hasn't he, really?
Cronenberg is a genre, really, just like. David lynch,
but his son's doing the same. Yeah,
I won't harp on about it too much. If you're a Cronenberg fan, you're probably
already checked out. But crimes of the future is decent. It's not his best film,
but it's a return to body horror and horror for him.
I also watched a non horror film, which I wanted to mention,
which came out this year straight, and I rented it because
it came out on prime quite quickly after it was at the cinema. And that
is the Fall guy,
which is a movie based on the tv show. Everybody will know the tv
show if they're around in the eighties. But this is with Ryan
Gosling and Emily Blunt. And this is
a really fun meta look at action
films and the film industry in general, really. And I
say meta because they focus on, like, stuntmen and how the stuntmen
never get, you know, the praise that they really should get.
In fact, this film is making the oscars think about whether
they have a category for best stunt performance or best
stunt, which is weird because they discuss that within the
fall guy. But it's also like a bit of a. A throwback to
movies like where it's a love story. Do you know what I mean? But like
a sweet love story, not too silly, but it is silly
as well. It's very funny. It's got some great. My favorite
scene in it was I won't spoil the film, of course,
but essentially he has to try to use his skills as
a stuntman to solve a crime.
Someone's gone missing and he's got to find them. A bit like in the
tv show where he's just about to show. Yeah,
but there's a great moment where him and his buddy,
this big guy, called Dan, who's the stunt
coordinator on all the films that Brian Reynolds, Ryan Gosling's character's on.
Obviously, they're both stuntmen, but they're also good fighters. And these
four guys decide to break into this apartment that they're in, not knowing they're about
to try and take on two badass stuntmen.
And one of the guys, Ryan Gosling's mate, every time
he does a move, he says, like, Dwayne the Brock Johnson. And then he throws
someone through a window. Or then he goes, Jason Bourne. And he does like a
moves from a Jason Bourne film. And it's like, because they've been so say
their characters have been on all these films and done stunts. It's just really funny.
It's so meta. And there's another great moment where they talk about, he's talking
to the director, Emily Blunt, of this action film, and she says,
I'm thinking about using split screen. And then it turns into split screen,
and they start having this amazingly choreographed split screen
conversation. Just really fun.
Fresh. Check out really good. Yeah,
really recommend it. Also watched
Knock at the cabin. Finally,
we covered Shyamalan in our last episode. That was one
of the ones I hadn't seen yet, that one in trap. Still haven't seen trap
yet. It's been slated. I've heard good
things about it. I've heard the ending is terrible. But first
off. Okay, then the second half is terrible, apparently, and it makes no sense.
Problem is, I love anything Shyamalan does. Really? So I've always got
a shit. Yeah. Love his shits.
But knock at the cabin blue my. Socks off and his
daughter is a pop star. Yeah. Already.
Yeah. Oh, I thought you said that she. He made her that.
No, they. They're saying he shouldn't have put her in it because
she's already a his daughter and be.
Yeah. But it makes sense to. I would as well
be like, right. Can you work on this for me? Yeah. Cool. Brilliant. Yes.
You want to keep things in the family. Yeah. Ben Stiller puts all of his
family in every movie he's in. Do you know? I mean, Adam Sandler does the
same way. Just have fun with it. But, um,
knock at the cabin. Blew my socks off.
I've been thinking about it for days since watching
it. Great concept. I love anything that's got,
like, a slight biblical hand of God because
movies like the omen and the Exorcist, the reason that they stick with me is
I'm not really a believer in that. But part of me probably is
which is why they stick and get under my skin. And I really
liked the concept of it. It was very simple and it was very hitchcockian
with its real tension at times.
I need to watch again because I don't get into it, but I think I
was in a. Not a happy place at the time. Yeah. Really,
really, really enjoy that. But it's too new for me to kind of spoil or
talk about, really. I also
watched, there's only a couple more. There's two movies
we both watched, which we'll get to in a minute. Before I get to that,
I also finally Gav got around to watching the heavily
slated Halloween ends. I know you messaged me saying,
I'm watching Halloween ends. Yeah. What the
fuck?
What the fuck? So my best way I can describe
this, and if anybody about this, when it first came out, if you've seen
this, then. Then you'll
know what I'm about. What I'm saying. Basically,
this movie is a remake of Christine,
but instead of a car, he's riding around on a motorbike.
Oh, okay. It's my Myers. It's like giving him the.
I don't even know what. They don't explain why he decides to
kill for Michael or whatever, but this character that just comes out,
I like it. I like if this was a movie about this guy
who was not bullied. Yeah. If he was a bullied underdog
who then just turned into a serial killer, great.
But why throw Michael Myers and Jamie Lee Curtis into this?
It makes no sense. It makes Halloween kills
feel like a fucking good film.
It's frustrating because Halloween kills as parts of me where I'm like, yeah,
okay, vigilante going after Michael Myers,
that's kind of. I kind of. We haven't seen that. If you put that on
paper without thinking it's actually been shot, at least. They'Re trying something
new. That's kind of cool. But yeah, just. And I really enjoyed the scene with
the two. The gay couple. Yeah, yeah. In the. In the apartment, I enjoyed
those guys. And I'd rather have just seen a movie of those guys with Michael
just invading their house. But then when Michael Myers, in the second, he takes
on all the firemen like he's John Wick. Yeah, that's it. And it
just goes, like, very odd.
I don't understand. Like, is it, is it produce
interference? But it is Blumhouse. But surely they
know what's going on. But are they then going, John Rick's it very popular at
the moment. So, you know,
wow, I'm sure, that, see, that's why. Go watch. Like, go watch.
The substance is like, fact that Hollywood, like,
obviously, I mentioned last time, Borderlands, Eli Ross movie,
and other films that come out of these, the Hollywood machine.
I'm so happy the substance came out. Do you know it got 15 minutes
standing ovation at Cannes Film Festival. Amazing.
And one best screenplay.
But yeah, I'm glad that's got out of Hollywood because
obviously demi Moore's in it, Dennis Quaid's in ithood. So it gives
it a bit of pedigree. So I'm hope and it's good because it's a creative
person's made it. Anyway,
talking very quick side tangent before we cover our last two, talking of Cannes film,
I've been watching a lot of Tarantino interviews, and he
does, obviously, as you know, he does reviews of films sometimes.
And I watched a clip where he was talking about his favorite trilogy of all
time. And he's got three favorite
trilogies of all time. One of those
is the Toy story. The first three Toy story films, I've got Blu
ray. They're fucking. Well, they're not. The kids don't know on Blu ray. I have
them on Blu ray. He said he'll never watch the fourth one or the fifth
one when it comes out because to him, that is one of the perfect trilogies.
Yeah, it is. Because at the end of the third one when in the four
and they're going down, and that's really good. That's a really good finale
for that. But he also really rates the Mad Max films.
Mad Max one. Okay. Mad Max two.
And he said Mamax three. Yeah. But Mad Max one and two are awesome.
So he's a funny guy to like these sort of movies. You're not just like,
okay. Didn't expect you to be a toy story fan, but he is a quirky
fella. But no, those toy story films are amazing. Yeah. Yeah. The third
one is terror, terrifying at the end. Um, the last
two things we watched, one was a documentary that, I don't know if you watched
it because I recommended it because I want all the colors.
Yellow. Yeah. All the colors of gel. I tried to watch
it yesterday. There was a copy on YouTube, actually, and I was watching it
last, kind of exercising, and I was distracted and it's
all subtold and I had other stuff to do, so. No, not really. Yeah,
it's really. I saw it once, though, when it first came out. It's 2019.
It's available on prime. Or as Gav says, it's on YouTube. I designed a bit
and it's a great look at the history of Giallo,
interviews with everybody, anybody who's anything to do with Giallo,
all the directors, some of the actors, and they cover it right the
way from the books in the sixties and seventies all the way through to
even films that are kind of giallo that still be made now.
So if you want a little bit of a back story or a
history of Giallo, because we've done a Giallo episode in the past and we won't
be delving too deep into what Giallo is, I'll remind everybody when
we get closer to the films. But. But it's a great documentary.
It's called all the colors of Giallo. It's all in Italian, so prepare yourself.
But obviously it's subtitled and it's fantastic. And the last one for
me to talk about is one that you've seen as well. I took myself off
to the cinema the other day to go and look at lots of phallic
shaped, vagina shaped, alien xenomorphic
goodness. And we both watched alien Romulus,
didn't we? Yeah. By Fede Alvarez,
the director. Did you like it? Yes, I really liked it.
I came out buzzing. I do
have some issues with it, which I can't really talk about without spoiling it,
so I won't. Yeah. Because I think you'd said to me, we cover it
next year. Yes, Easter will probably cover it, because we've
been doing the early movies, you know, for Easter, because they're eggs, you know.
You know, that works. But it's very scary at times.
The. It's nice to see the alien,
the xenomorph and the facehuggers be scary again, rather than
just Cannon. That's what they wanted to do. Yeah.
The ending is batshit crazy and I think that's what's going to divide people.
I know it's divided you and I, the last
1015 minutes, but great characters.
A young, mainly british cast. The guy who is
a robot replicant,
he's incredible. Really good. I liked the final
girl and I liked a couple of the guys in it. It's basically a youthful
cast and considering we sort of used to more a
slightly older fur ease upward sort of thing, really.
This is like a real sort of younger twenties cast and it works
really well. And it's. It's. Yeah. They tried to go back to the
original of scary horror. Horror and then the
aliens being scary because they think they felt I'd lost Dave
and Ridley Scott saying, yeah, I think they felt they kind of lost it a
little bit in the other films. You know, they mentioned. I watched an
interview for both mentioned, like, the other alien,
three and four. But, yeah,
it's really good. I like. We can't get into it too much. I do like
what they do of the anti gravity. Yes, yes.
But we can't talk about it. It's set between alien and aliens
for anyone who wants to know. So it's interesting. Interesting.
So, yeah, you've got. It feels like home.
Yeah. And for me, very much because of that, it's very
much like Rogue one. For anyone who's a Star wars fan, Rogue one was
set between two very big Star wars films, and it doesn't matter
that it doesn't have anything to do with them because it kind of
does, but doesn't. And the same with this, really. There's a few easter eggs from
alien and aliens in it and even Prometheus and stuff. And this isn't
any spoiler, but at the same time,
it's very much its own story because it's not kind of getting
involved in trying to build this, like, MCU version of the alien verse.
You know, it's just its own story. But the fact that it's
set between a horror and an action film, and it blends them quite
well together because there's some good action in it and some good horror in it.
Really, really brutal horror, actually.
Some good acid blood stuff and a few other bits and bobs. So, yeah,
it's gone down well with alien fans. If you're an alien fan, you haven't seen
it. I don't know what you're doing. So get to cinema.
Watch it. Yeah, me and Sarah enjoyed it.
I've got issues here and there, but to be honest, in the canon
of alien films, I'd happily go, what alien
movie do you want to watch for me? Is over alien, aliens.
Prometheus, or would be this one. And I
actually, at the moment, put this one above Prometheus. So this is my
third favorite alien film. Yeah. Yeah,
possibly, yeah. It's because Prometheus kind of feels like,
say, like the MCU and a Marvel Cinematic universe.
It's kind of the alien cinematic universe. Prometheus feels like over there,
this one new one feels like it is in the alien camp. Definitely.
Yeah. Yeah, it's good. So that was the last one to talk about,
really. Right. Let's do this. Let's get into some
giallo. So before we go to a trailer for
our first movie, which is going to be torso from 1973.
As mentioned earlier, we have an email
from King patron Kevin.
So I'm going to read this out. I'm not going to break this one up
like I do on some of the Patreon episodes because the way he's written
it, I mean, firstly, it's very funny and I'm going to enjoy reading this out.
Secondly, though, it doesn't really. It's not like giving a huge synopsis
of the film. It's just a little bit about why he's chosen them. So I'm
going to read this one out. Obviously we can interject and chat about bits,
he said as we go, but if you're ready, Gav, I will
read this out. Are you ready for Kevin's words of wisdom?
Yes. Kevin. Here we go. So I love the
fact it's called my letter.
I wish he'd handwritten it and posted it to me. He says,
my letter for torso or Tenebrae or unsane or whatever it's called,
because Tenebrae does have a weird title of unsane in some countries,
which is weird. He says, ciao, fellas.
Good, good. A lot of that. He says, get it? Yeah. It says
old Bella. Yeah. It says my across
the pond horror blokes love it.
I hope you find yourselves well, alive and
not at the end of a straight razor and black gloves. So he's jumping straight
in there. He says, let's chat about jellos. Or is it jelly
or is it yellow or yellow? I don't know.
At this point, most horror fans know the origin of the subgenre of Jello
and where the word and the art form comes from. The beautiful
country of Italy, home of meatballs, pasta,
gondolas, cannibals, mimes, fashion houses,
bad dubbing, pizza, black gloves and movies with over
the top gore, convoluted plot lines and ridiculous
killer reveals. I hope Italy one day does another cannibal movie.
But one of the cannibals for entertainment for the other cannibals is a mime.
That'd be brilliant. One armed, trying to
mic something with one arm.
He says, are you scratching your head? Here I am. And I love the Jello's.
I own tons of them. I even own lots of books on the subject.
Says, do you think what we did. Sorry to talk. We did do an episode
many moons ago on Jello. We did indeed,
yeah. Do you think one
could obtain a PhD in Jello's or Jali or whatever it's called?
If so, I could do a pretty damn good job with my thesis.
What on earth was that noise?
Sorry to interrupt Kevin's words of wisdom there. We just had some breaking noise
behind Gav. Is it a xenomorph breaking into the.
Oh, is it a black gloves killer? I have no idea. The thing is,
my headphones are like, sound cancelling.
Like, they're super good. So you can't hear anything. So I heard what you heard,
but I knew it's, like, renowned in this room. I have no idea.
I'm out of here in a month, so all the weird sounds will go to
another place. Brilliant. More hauntings, he says.
I would say that I am obsessed with. Obsessed with these odd films. From various
eye catching settings, like the fashion houses, italian and spanish urban
cities, to beautiful countrysides. They never fail an atmosphere.
Then there is the bizarre cast of sexy characters
and the sex and the nudity. And did
I mention the sex and the nudity yet? He said, plus, for a gay
male, I get my man, ass and dong from time to time,
he says. So cheers to the equal nudity time.
These movies are filled with money, sex, blood, betrayal, red herrings, intrigue and
mystery. Most of them are confusing and often will have you rewinding to really
understand what just happened and say, wait, what? Oh, and did I mention
the sex, the nudity and the cocks and the bush?
It's a man after our own hearts, really, isn't it? I love the fact we
still say rewind because we're not actually winding tape back. I love it.
You know what he means, though? And then he says,
music. Music. And the scores of these movies are very often celebrated
and they should be. Truly a huge piece of the ambience of. In a giallo
is the music. Yeah. Think of goblin or Marconi.
There's some incredible artists that do music. Just really
pleasant. I love the fact when you get. Sorry to it again,
you get a real juxtaposition of some.
I know they always have that. And there's a Bruno.
I can't remember what his name is. There's some really Bruno matai, incredible artists out
there. Who? Composers. But yeah, I love the juxtaposition between a horror,
graphic horror on screen.
I have a lot of the Argentina soundtracks for a lot of his movies
because I just think Goblin. Yeah, yeah. He says, if you want
to feel like you're a slap dab in the middle of the seventies, put on
a giallo. So he's obviously a huge fan of giallo, as we know.
He says, for today's viewing. I love this for today's viewing,
I've chosen two of my favorite 70 three's torso,
directed by Sergio Martino and 1980 three's Tenebrae by
Argento. Two wonderful directors that have other excellent examples within
this giallo genre. Torso I love this film for
many reasons, but a major one is the amazingly fun and fast paced second act.
After the quirky cast gets to the Cliffside villa, lots of
fun is to be had. I will not spoil the killer reveal or the ridiculous
reasons for the killing, but those crazy plot twists are the reason I love
these films. And Tenebrae, what can I say about this film?
John Saxon Daria Nickelodeon another thing
about it is the cinematography, the best use of a crane shot ever
placed on film. There's fun, gore and an ending that will
have you saying, what the fuck? Also, how fun is it knowing
that Dario and Daria are a couple and they produced Asia?
I don't find jello movies particularly scary.
Shy, shy of a jump scare here or there. But I do find them
intense at times. There's usually some good chase scenes and
other fun moments. Figuring it all out is a major part of the
fun. Kind of like Agatha Christie on meth.
Christ. Yeah, yeah. I actually messaged Dan after
watching Tenebrae saying, you can have to help me out with the reveal of the
killer in this a little bit. He's also put ten little
wasted Indians, which would be Agatha Christie or meth, I guess. Yeah,
yeah. He said, I also find some of these films strikingly beautiful,
like the opening credits for Blood and Black lace in torso.
There's a bit where I've written where person's killed and she looks
gorgeous. She looks as she's getting stabbed up. She looks
beautiful. And it's such a strange thing. Obviously I've done it on
purpose, but it's very strange. We get into it, he says,
here's a list of some other giallos or jali that I recommend.
So these are some of his favorite. The bird with the crystal plumage eyeball.
The strange case of misses Ward. That's good, that one.
Yeah, $5 on an August moon. That's good. Mario Barber.
Yeah, it's good one, that one. Watched that woman. We did our bava episode many
years ago and then he said, oh, who am I kidding? I reckon them recommend
them all. Any list site will have an entire list
of giallos. Anyway. Pop some popcorn, settle in, put a fedora and a trench
coat on. Obviously naked underneath. These are Kevin's words. And he
said, and slice away. Thanks for.
He finishes up with saying thanks for making me laugh, mainly during the tangents
you all find yourselves on. I travel for work both by
plane and car, and I find that your podcasts bring my traveling great joy.
Cheers. Oh, and I still watch Hollyoaks and Coronation
street. Plus I've been to Blackpool Pleasure
Beach, Alton Towers, thought park and other parks around your great country.
Roller coasters are another hobby of mine, so I think that makes
me an honorary brother. That's so cool. I live about 40
minutes from Thorpe. Park and you are indeed an honorary
brother. You have the beard. As I said in my message to you,
you have the beard. You have our sense of humor
and an eye for a cock like me. I like to spot the
old cock in films or bush or boobs, whatever it is. We always talk about
them, don't we, Gav? We always mentioned bear, if you can.
Basically, that's what I like to do. And he enjoys the armor and naughtiness.
I am gonna say, though, watching that crane shot this time
as a review in 2024, I was just like, get on with it,
get on with it. So. But the first time I ever saw it, I really
loved it. But this time around, it was a bit like that. But it's because
I'm reviewing in 2024, after seeing the stuff you could do nowadays.
It's two and a half minutes long, isn't it? It's bits like you.
Yeah, you're really taking a while, but it's at the time.
Incredible in 1982 to pull that off,
get all the timing and the actors and stuff. Anyway, let's go to a trailer,
then. Trailer for torso. Here we go. Let's do it.
What you see on the screen is.
Not a product of expressionist art.
What do you have here? Fragments of clog found
under the fingernails of one of your companions who was barbarously murdered
just one week ago.
Our scientific analysis leaves no doubt whatsoever.
We have traced these fragments. Lis Foulard,
which was used to strangle Carol Peterson.
Her body was then mutilated in the same manner as Signorina Heineken.
Did you realize I'm the last person. Who saw Carol alive?
Anyone home? Hello?
Oh, hello, Jing. Can you come over right away? I must talk to you.
I received this phone call from the killer and he threatened to
kill me. Too, if I told anyone who it. Was that I'd seen wearing
that scarf.
You'll not be acting as a police informer, but as a civic
minded citizen.
Somebody's here.
Because I believe you all want this killer to
be brought to justice at once.
So our first film, Torso from
1973, directed by Sergio Martino.
When the University of Perugia is rocked by
a string of murders committed with red and black scarves,
four co eds retreat to a countryside villa where
the killer is closer than they think.
So there's a lot in this movie. Lots of sex,
lots of orgies, lots of dolls.
Doll eye fingering. Eye fingering, yeah.
Lots of scarves.
And some unexpected lesbianism as well from time to time.
It's not unexpected. I don't know what you. Italian cinema,
but it's a lot. I was more shocked by the orgies,
actually. They were just like orgies sometimes with piles of bodies
lying around. It's great. No,
no. That was no shock for me. This is only the second time I've seen
it. It is my second time I've seen it. First I saw. I remember
now. I might have this on videotape now. I've definitely got dvd,
but did I videotape? I don't know. Anyway, one thing I've
always took home from this was the bit when she's locked in
the room. Yeah. She has a key out and she's putting a paper bag,
but it's not there. But the gloved hand comes in and puts the key on
the paper. It watched it this time.
It's not done in very suspense at all. It could have been done a lot
more suspense outcome. It's just like, oh, keys on. There you go. And it's been
like, you could have done that better. You could have helped draw now a bit
more, but still good. That. That scene for
me is incredibly tense. The bit where she's on a creaky floorboard
and she's just staring at the door thinking, is he there? Is he not there?
Really well done. It is definitely good.
Yeah, I probably just get into
it if you want. Well, I was gonna say I agree with Kevin in that
it's almost like two films, really. You've got your first half top
off, Dan. Oh, here we go. He's getting sexy. He gets italian cinemas.
Can you get, though, please get your black leather gloves on as well.
Topless with black leather gloves. Black leather gloves.
Now, while Gav can't hear me. Doesn't really matter because he's putting his cans
back on right now. But, yeah, I agree with Kevin. This is almost like two
films. You've got your setup for the first half where you get to meet all
these characters. And yes, it's really hard to stay on top of the plot,
as is often the case with these giallo movies, and then the last half where
they all go to the villa, and there's all these perverts in the local village
talking about them.
I've written down a dialogue. I've written down a dialogue for it. I'll read
it out. I feel sorry for that black chick because she's. She's sat on top
of that tractor at one point. He knows what she's doing. We're getting. I've never
seen a woman like this before.
Don't spoil it. Well, let's get started on torso,
then. From 1970, 319 seconds in Boobsen.
19 seconds into the film. Ladies and gentlemen, guys and ghouls and
non gendered people see 19. Our patrons know
what they're doing. When these pick these films, like Kevin knows, you're gonna be timing
boobs. You're getting your money's worth because that's what you want, is us to talk
about boobs. At 19 seconds into a film, you.
Get boobs, and then you get eye holes. Okay, my notes here. Torso.
First notes, 19 seconds in, boobs. Second note,
doll eye fingering. Yeah. Third note, freesome or orgy
or. And taking photos. Question mark. That's my notes.
Yeah. So what's happening here is some spoilers coming up.
This man. Oh, watch the film, if you know.
Yes, of course. But this man's having a threesome. But the reason the photographs
have been taken is he will be blackmailed later on down the line. Oh,
really? I didn't know. I thought it's just a photo shoot. No, no. So he's.
He's. This is the killer having a threesome. This is why I have Sarah with
me when I watch films, because she helps me, because I go, I don't know
what's going on. And again, I don't know how I review films on a podcast,
but I'm like, I don't know what's going on. And she helps me out,
but. So she wasn't with me for this one.
I'm here to hold your hand through the boobs and doll eyes. Fingering. Don't worry.
Okay, let's go. But anyway, so,
yes, some very sexy music. A threesome. So,
you know, wow. You've pressed play on a 1973 italian jallo,
and you're straight into a threesome with a doll,
like a. One of those little baby dolls that the eyes have been
removed and someone's finger in the eye holes. It's all very strange.
And then we cut to an art history class.
Yeah, there's a lot of things themes in this film, which is students
in classes. And then at one point, it's very confusing because
it's not actually a class, it's actually the police are just turn the student talking
to the students about what they've discovered. But we didn't know that this was really
gonna happen as such. And this, we just like, jumped into this scene. It's like,
is this a class? What's good? Oh, you're corpse. Yeah.
I like that though. It's a good way of bringing. But it
was a bit confused at first because I thought it's just a lecture. Yeah.
I think, um. I don't know why they're so back.
And forth in there. The same place are nothing,
inaccessible, but they are hard to keep track
of. They do. Some of them do require a couple of viewings. They did jump
around a little bit sometimes. I think it's the nature of them. Especially like the
Agatha Christie style film and. And the killer. The murder mystery,
essentially is a film. It's a genre where you can easily
jump around because you have multiple red herring characters
or characters and they're not doing.
Because. Because it. Murder mysteries, especially when you get
to a certain point, the detective always has to go through each person and their
back history. Why they got to there, what they doing there, what's their motives.
So that's why you could jump around quite a lot, you know, imagine poor.
Old Columbo turning up in a giallo movie.
He'd be like, just one more dude.
See, I know AI is going to be an
issue at times, but like, especially for, like, you know,
myself trying to get work as film editor, if someone could just go, I'll just
do an AI job. So. Yeah, but I tell you what, if it's like,
okay, me and you sitting there one day when Roalder,
what should we watch then? About Colombo? Ngallo. Fuck yes.
Directed by Tarantino. Okay. Do you know what I mean? So very quickly
with. With AI, I sent Gav a video the other day that
my wife had made of my brother. My brother in the very
early, when he was about seven or eight, hugging my son now,
because you can make two photos. Hug. She's since done one of
my mum hugging one of my kids,
which I requested. It didn't really upset
me. It was just. It was weird. It was just what I mean.
And another one's like a picture of my mum from when she was like 20.
And then she made it smile and wave. It took
like three days to render it. But then when it's done,
you know, and even, like, she. I took a photo of the moon when we
were on holiday recently at night over the beach. And she animated that.
And it's. It's added seagulls, it's added sound and
turned it into like a ten second video of the beach lapping. Yeah, but it's
so. It's so crazy that we're bringing dead people back to life.
Like, I'm looking at my mum or I'm looking at my brother when he was
a kid. I. You know, he's almost 40 now, but there
is, as a kid hugging my son, who's three now. It's very strange, AI,
isn't it? Hello. But anyway, back to the Italians.
So, yeah, there's a painting being discussed within this class and we meet two of
our main girls, Danny and Jane. And they want
to talk to the professor afterwards. They want to talk about the painting, they want
to talk about his analogies and all the other kind of stuff
and his analysis of this painting. There's another guy
that joins in with them who seems to be a bit of a pervert.
He wants to discuss, and they quit to bat him away. It seems like all
the men in this film are perverts. Just want to bang all the women
in this film. And I think that is the nature of a lot of giallos.
I think it's the nature of humanity. A lot of the times we
also meet Flo as well. And then
we see a little nighttime road trip. Two of these characters go off
to. Have sex in a cardinal shagging in a mini. A mini,
if you do not know, is a very, very small british car.
I have shagging in a miniature. Gone. I had
sex. And a fiat 126.
Really small. I got cramp in my leg. I had a friend add one.
I think it cost him like a five or something to fill up the petrol.
It was like a motorbike with a roof. Ready? Um.
I don't really want to get into it too much, but leather seats aren't the
best in a hot, hot time.
Sticky. Depends what you like. Yeah. Depends if you're already wearing
leather, you know, today. Gimp.
Anyway, um, so, yeah, there's somebody outside.
Typical jello. We get the pov. So we're ticking boxes here.
I. Yeah, someone's putting in on sex.
And they basically
just stop their sex because they kind of notice this guy. And I love
the look of the killer. And I just gutted that this isn't
seen more with the white Malacava. Sorry.
They don't stop because of the killer. They climax.
Oh, we're done. That was good. Oh, did they? And then
they see somebody outside and the guy's like, hey.
So he runs out there just like. You know, still pretty hard
on. Runs out there. Somehow he's got his trousers on quite quickly.
They look up and they just see this guy with a white sort of scheme
ass type thing on and it just looks so. And that. It's such a simple
look, but I think it's great and it should be in it more.
Yes. And later on, it's not in it that much, actually.
It's very pre Jason Voorhees
later on. There's a shot of him in the the woods with that mask on.
And as he's walking towards them, it's very Jason Voorhees before
Jason Voorhees. It's quite interesting, actually. You can watch, look at a lot of seventies
italian cinema and see how America's just
taking that influence. And then the bigger films like Halloween
Friday 13 have just come along and taken basically the italian
cinema, which they were doing first, but then americanized.
Yeah. You know, and then we got obviously sprouts of that. That's why the slasher
genre is like a favorite genre of mine because it has a lot of history
to it. So this isn't usual doggy and this is actually a
masked man with some bad intent because the doggone, if you. Don'T know,
wanking up against a window of people having sex inside
and the. People in the car know that you're there. It's all kind of.
There's dogging spots in the UK. Yeah. It's probably got a different name in
America. Kevin, if there is dogging in America, I'm not saying you
are a doggerezenhenne and if you are, you know, more power to you. But if
there is dogging in the US, what is it called last week?
Us? I don't know. Last week was cat in? Maybe.
Oh, my God. What's catting? Well, dog.
Cat. That's why last week I was filming
an opening of a music video and so I was out in the woods and
I've got a red light. It's a really bright light because I'm putting in someone's
face for a brake light when they're driving from outside
the windscreen. Anyway, it's super bright, but I had to have it. But I
was there bent over a car with, the car was rocking. I was like,
fucking. This is like a beacon for doggers. My red
light, my bent over a car which is rocking away. All of a sudden,
loads of people come out the bush. Loads of people. It's very funny.
At one point, there's a security guards driving towards us because
we're near, like, some facility and they would come to see what we're doing.
And I was like, oh, what should I do, guys? Should I quickly just get
my dick out to stop hanging out window? And they'd be like, oh, it's just
dog us and leave us alone. Because if we say we're filming, they might want
to stop us. Maybe it's just the british thing dogging. I don't know.
I'm sure. I'm sure people do it in other places in the world.
Well, anyway, the guy runs off to chase this man that's been perving on them,
even though he's wearing a mask, leaving his poor lady
in the car. She gets out, does he, the killer,
then? We're assuming he. Well, it's not a killer at the moment. The perverthouse
actually runs and quickly just hides. So the boyfriend just goes
zooming off. Must be, I guess because the girl gets out of the car,
she sees someone in the bushes. She's like, hello.
Hello? Because someone's just been in her bush. So now she sees
someone in the bushes, and all of a sudden,
the masked man with the ski mask strangles her with a
scarf, a very beautiful red and black scarf.
And she is dead. But he doesn't just strangle her with a scarf.
He then uses a knife to open up her chest cavity.
It turns out she's been stabbed two or three times.
And we cut to the next morning with the police. It was a really good
scene. I like that opening dev scene. There's a nice little bit of suspense.
Sex, you know, good looking mini Cooper had
it all there. Yeah, but the morning we get the italian
detective, there he is drinking 100 coffees, smoking cigarettes.
By the way, that shot of just back outside
the Mini where she's killed, that's a shot where she looks incredibly
beautiful. Like the way it's shot and her makeup and
just the way she's. It's been lit, it looks incredibly
beautiful. And he's been. And he's just slashing her
up, isn't he? Then I undo her shirt. Yeah, there's a shirt. And then he
cuts a hole in between her boobs. One later on, right? Kills a woman and
then just starts touching her, touching her boobs.
A lot of the kills, he opens up their top after he's initially strangled them
and then stabs them. He's a right old perv. This guy wants
a pervit stall this morning.
Where we're at now, there's two creepy pervs just at the
market. No, the ones
that are on the market. Oh, you're talking about it within the film? Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Well, we haven't jumped there yet. Let me. Let me just talk about
couple of this morning. Yeah, I thought you'd been to a morning
of. So before we go to the market.
Yes, we are told that not only did the woman get obviously
sliced up, but the boyfriend was killed as well. And the witness got
to mention this. The witness says, well, I was trying to drop off some litter
and they're like, what do you mean, you were dropping off some litter? And he
was like, well, okay, I was going to take a shit in the bushes and
then I saw. I saw her body and I wasn't able to
go. And I'm still constipated now. And then he just sort of walks off and
I thought, what a brilliant, funny little character to
come in. And basically I've just written here my notes, has the witnesses constipated.
You know, it's just I went to take a shit. I found some dead body,
so I couldn't go. Now I'm bloody constipated. See you later. I've never
shitting ever again from shit trauma. Every time
he shits, he's seeing dead bush. So,
yes, let's cut to the creepy man selling the scarves, who looks
like Lance Henriksen. Screamy brother.
Yeah. And he's like, you want to buy some scar?
And he said he bends down on purpose. They can try and look up the
lady's skirt. She lifts up her leg and she's like, do you like what you
see up there? She calls him out on it.
Yeah. And he's totally pervid on her. But there's another man I know,
Cornelius, but she reveals, like, so you can actually see right up there. And it's
a bit like you're kind of giving him what he wants, though.
So. So I don't know what you're trying to achieve from that, but there's.
There's another creepy man watching as well. At this point, we don't know who he
is at this point. So everybody in this village,
in this italian town in Rome is just proven on everyone,
really. I met a italian
lady when I went. I flew on a plane one time and flew
back with her as well. I met up in a week with her as well,
chanter. And she tell me about sex in Italy. And she's
just saying, it's just so open. She said her
parents told her about sex when she was very young. Like, it was
just like whenever she would talk about sex, she could just even talk to her
dad about it. And I was like, fucking hell. Okay. All right. Fair enough.
I, like, I'd be fine with it.
I don't know, actually. But she just said, it's just
so, like, it. It's not a thing. It's just so,
like. Yeah, it's just sex. It should be enjoyed. It's. Do you
know what I mean? That's how I think that culture possibly is.
Where I know some places a bit more prudish, sort of. Yeah.
Like, the british people are closely prudish.
But, like Italians and Spanish and French, I guess, to some extent.
Those are three sort of nationalities where you think of them
and you think of. They're just very open and sexy. And they're
almost intimidating because they're just so open with it.
That's why they're so successful. You know,
when they go out for a drink, they're going to pick up someone if
they want. Because also they sound italian. And people
who are italian who generally quite hot, as everyone in this film is really?
So. Yeah. Well, that's interesting to know. And did anything
happen? Did you go to the mile high club on this plane with this italian
lady? No, I did not. Damn it. Okay.
Yes. So after the creepy man watching in the creepy
scarf seller, Carol, one of our main girls is told
about Flo. Did you not see? Did you not hear? Look, here's a newspaper.
Uncle. Give me your newspaper. And they find out that to.
Flo and her boyfriend were found murdered. So she's very upset.
And then we cut to Jane in a church.
She goes to speak to the professor, who she starts flirting
with. Yeah, I was really confused with this here. I was like, what is going
on now? Like, is this teacher having sex in front of his students of
an older student? But still. We could
discuss the painting further if you want. Maybe I can buy you a drink sometime.
She's like, well, let's go now. So they go, they walk and they talk and
they discuss. More. A bit of flirting going on.
Jane sees a couple in a car again, we'll come back to this later
on. Breaking up, she overhears him saying, it's over,
it's done. And, you know, whoever they are, we'll find out later.
They don't want to be seen as a couple. And then we get to
some sex workers. A sex worker?
Yes. In a room with a gentleman. Who. That's right. Sorry,
yeah. Who? She's just sort of been like,
come on, we could do it everywhere you want. We could do anything you want.
Anything. Let's get it on. Come on, let's fucking go through it. What are you,
impotent? What's wrong with you? You're not a man. You're going to fucking do me.
Annoyed. She's like, all right, calm down, you aggressive sex worker.
Like, passive aggressiveness going on. Like, what the
fuck? Yeah. She says to him, well, if you're not gonna do it, then I've
got somebody else coming up in a minute. So just be thinking about it.
And it's his first time, and she's just. How? You just start slapping her up
a little bit. He does. He slaps her. Then he strangles her
a bit. You can see at one point she puts her legs up and she's
wearing her under it. Just magical load of muff coming out.
And it's silhouetted. Um, she calls him,
and this was obviously the seventies, but she calls him queer. She says, are you
queer? Are you impotent? Which then infuriates him.
So, yeah, Tommy, like, I guess it's kind of making
a red herring, I suppose. Yeah. He strangles her a bit, but he doesn't kill
her. She. She runs off, says, you're crazy. And he obviously leaves the room.
So we got just these. So it's going to be hard to keep up with
us, ladies and gentlemen, because there's a lot of these short scenes of just violence.
It's fun. It's going to be a fun ride. I guess I kind of
just added, really at times. Back at Market Square, we kind of like
this market square quite a lot. Yeah, it's kind
of a bit of like market square. Then back to the lecture hall market.
And it's a bit of. First, I like it more when you've got an actual
more of a goal later on where it's like. Like we're going to the farmhouse.
Yeah, I like the villa, definitely. That's a lot better. And I thoroughly
enjoy the, my favorite scenes, the forest scene, which we get to.
The swampy forest scene. Yeah. With the marshes. I've always loved that.
Danny is in the market square and she goes off on someone's motorbike
and gets taken to a huge party slash orgy.
It's seventies. It's a load of people hanging
out, the odd person, people naked, having actual sex. And then
someone like in the middle, playing a guitar,
that sort of thing. And we've got this Danny girl. She's having these two guys,
and she's smoking a joint, and I just hang on top. Before we
get to Danny, there's a woman dancing in the middle of the party,
and they use this really weird sideways, upside down
close up of her butt. Did you notice that?
Like, what a strange angle to choose. She's got, like,
some very small denim Daisy Duke shorts on.
Yeah. Well, I've got here, though, this is 18 minutes in,
and it's, like, loads of random scenes. There's not no
real, actual structured plot going on at the moment.
Like, at this point, we should have a goal and who's
the baddie, who's the goody, and what the intention is and
where they're going. But at the moment, I don't know what's going on. I wish,
like, the whole going to the house was the whole movie.
And they got to their beginning and it was more like that because when the
girls get killed, at one point, it's off camera and it's all of them at
once. Like three of them at once. And it's like,
what? It's a very strange film.
Well, like you say, Danny is where these two guys who think they're gonna
have a maybe a bit of a threesome with her, so they start feeling her
up. But when they come to undo her trousers,
she says no. She slaps one of them. She first
of all says, you take your clothes off. And they're like, all right, we will.
But then she runs off and she doesn't want anything, so they chase her.
She goes into a cornfield and they're chasing you,
slut. Where are you? We'll show you. We're real men. And they're like
a slam on his motorbike. Yeah.
Really goes over, like, this floor and, whoa, that must have been like,
he hit this face into the. It's into a big sort of puddle, but it's
quite forceful. Yeah. His bike gets stuck in the
super piss. Oh, I'm gonna kill her. And I was just so annoyed because they
didn't get laid. And it's like, oh, God, men, please just
have a wank each other off. Just do that and go home.
Then just never say ever again.
Jeff, we didn't get laid tonight, but there's always each other. It's not
gay if we use each other's hands, does it? No, it's fine. Come on,
look this way.
Hilarious. Um, so she is
obviously hiding from these two want to be rapists,
essentially. And she sees the masked man. Well,
before we get into this, what we've got here is I think they're doing a
day for night type scene and they've shot a dyke in a bit in the
daytime and then they've changed the color to what?
What the old school technique is change it to blue,
but with this, it's like a swampy forest. So you
got lots of shots of, like, close up shots of feet going
into the puddle and how bad it is. It's really wet. And she's just walking
along with her shirt on, her boobs, like, showing through the shirt. She's very
vulnerable. And she's going along, like, walking through these
trees in these woods and stuff. And the blue look
with, like, the smoke and the tension building up is
so nice. And then all of a sudden she stops, looks forward and just
sees, like a distance, like, almost not silhouetted, but like
the dude we saw before or the person with the white balaclava on just right
in the distance. And it just looks so nice.
It looks amazing. It's one of my favorite shots in this film. Yeah. Like,
like, I wish more scenes were like this. It's because I
love shooting in the woods for these reasons. It gets such dimension
and feel with things like this. You can really
put layers in there in the foreground and stuff in the background.
You can really play with it, especially throwing smoke in there and putting a blue
tinge to it. Just looks so nice. And this is the proto
Jason I mentioned now because you see him and the
way he stomps towards her, you know, within ten.
I've never seen a Jason film as a scene as
stylish as this, though. That's what she. Oh, no, that's. That's true. I'd love
to see a Friday 13th film stylish as this. Of course,
she falls over then. And not only is she vulnerable now, but she's also,
like, in about four inches of water, maybe a bit deeper.
And he takes that, strangles over the scarf, but also sort
of holds her head under the water a bit as well,
sort of for drowning and strangling her at the same time. Then he opens up
her dress, fills her breasts, and then he
pushes her eyeballs in just to add an extra element
to it. So we're assuming, obviously, the doll fingerer from earlier is
the same person. Yeah. Because you get a quick flash of someone
else fingering a doll. So you look here, it's like, you know,
is this, like, you shouldn't be looking,
you shouldn't be seeing. We do find there's a reason for it.
And it was like the killer's thoughts
on women. Yeah, we will get to that.
Well, then we cut to what we think is another art lecture, like we said,
but cleverly, the police have gathered all the students where
they would normally have a lesson, and they're explaining,
oh, so there's been a lot of women dying. And basically,
here are some crime scene photos showing you all
right now, but, you know, see much other than strands
of material. And he said, basically, we're looking out for this red and black scarf.
This is the killer's mo. It's so funny.
Basically he says, so please report all scarves you
see, like this. So that's that. That's all they've got to go on right
now. Is anyone with a red and black scarf, report it to the police immediately.
Like, if you ever wanted to be a kid, I'll bet you nowadays,
you're like, I'm gutted. I want a killer in the seventies. It's so much easier.
Just get a blue scarf and then they won't know it's you.
Danny recognizes those biker boys from.
From the party that she saw her mate go off with.
And she thinks, hmm, are they they the suspects?
She doesn't know if they're wearing a scarf or not. She gets a bit muddled
up. Yeah. Yeah, because this is. Yeah, that's the one at the end
of the talk, isn't she? She's like, oh, I think it was probably those.
She's pretty sure because she saw the girl go off with the two
guys on the mobile. And then the art professor sees a man
watching the girls, and he's like, well, that's weird. Why is he. So the
art professor is now getting brought into the mix a little bit. Yeah.
So it's trying to keep up on it all, but it is the nature of
the murder mystery. The scarf sellers even
quizzed by the detectives now, which makes sense because he's the local scarf
seller. But what, like, what do they know
then, of the scarf? Well, they know that the strands
of material were red and black that were found on the wounds. So he.
They're going to saying, what red and black scarfs have you sold to who?
And I'm trying to figure out something from there, which I guess.
Well, just before the scarf seller, we get Danny home alone. And she
gets a phone call that says, forget what you, you saw. Forget the
red and black scarf. Otherwise you'll be next. You don't
want to end up like these girls, do you? It's.
It's. It's classic having a phone call. But it's a bit left field. And out
of nowhere, just all of a sudden, the kid has got a voice, do you
know what I mean? But that. Then her pervy uncle turns up. Now, he's not
a perv at this point, but later on we find out he's a bit of
a perv. He shows up. Oh, what's wrong? She's like, oh, my friend's dead.
And there's a crying from the phone call. And he says to her, I tell
you what, go on holiday to my villa with all your friends.
Go on, piss off for a few days. You'll enjoy yourself.
Drink loads of red wine, have loads of sex. It'd be great.
Yeah. She's like, thanks,
uncle. There's a lady.
The lady hassled by Stefano.
Is that now you must be with
me or no one else. And it's a bit like, bloody hell, man.
Like, you know? So you're a slight scene ahead. Let's go and go to
the scarf seller being questioned by the detective. Obviously, the number one suspect
is going to be the scarf seller, or at least he knows somebody who did
it. So they talk to Lance Henriksen and he
says, I don't know what you're talking about. It's not like I'm a department store
that keeps a record of the scarves I sell. I'm a market trader. And when
the police leaves, he runs off to a phone box, makes a phone call,
and he says, the police are on to you.
If you give me 2 million lira, I'll keep quiet. I could do with
a holiday. So he's basically. He knows who bought
that scarf and he's bribing them. Hang on.
For a start, whoever has bought the scarf
then must be well known to him that Eden memorizes their
phone number. That's true.
He must know them so well that he's like, oh, fuck, it's Bob in it.
It's red and black. Red and black's here again. I'll just ring Bob. They're on
to you. Do you know what I mean? I sold you a red and black
scarf last week. What happened to it? Oh, I lost it. A woman's neck.
I don't know. I don't know about the phone call bit, but yeah, it's a
bit forced, isn't it? But yeah. This is where Danny's grabbed by the stalker who's
in Stefano. He said you belong to me. Don't you see that?
We belong together. And how many often do
men do this? Like, if you're not with me,
you're with no one. Do you know, I've never
done it. I've said it to you. If you don't
podcast with me, you're podcasting with no one.
Me and you. Then I had an affair with Sarah.
Podcasting.
Yeah. She seems to remember that Stefano potentially wore this scarf,
but she's a bit confused, so she locks herself in, and he runs
off. And she says, jane, jane on the phone. Jane, please come
over. It tells her friend, basically, like, I think it's
him with the scarf. So. So that's who they think it is.
And I guess it's kinda of getting the audience to go along with that a
bit. Now, while her friend Jane has come over, Jane takes
her friend to the bath and starts washing her because they're italian
women in a cello washing each other. Dad comes along and has a
little uncle. Uncle looks through the gap in the door. He's like,
oh, my niece and her friend.
Lovely. And he walks, oh, sorry, was I interrupting
you? And they're like, well, her friend sort of looks at him.
Fucking proverb. And he says, are you girls? I just
want to check you're all still going to that villa. And they're like, yeah,
yeah, we're going soon. Don't worry about it. So, per the uncle,
nighttime scarf seller has collected his bribe,
his cash. He's very pleased. Don't know where he got it. He must have picked
it up from somewhere, like, agreed to pick it up from a collection point or
something. And he
run. And then suddenly someone sees him, runs up, runs him over with
a car. About five times. They crash him up against the wall.
Quite a good kill, actually.
That's him done. So Lance Henriksen's out of the movie.
He didn't get ripped in half by an alien queen in this one. He just
got crushed up against the wall. The girls off to France, they are on
a train and they all asleep.
Yeah, well, before that, Jane goes to visit Stefano because
she wants to confront him, because she thinks, well, if he is the killer,
I'll go and confront him. Why would you do that?
But his door is open. So she goes and snoops around
his apartment. It's like when it's
like saying the person is gonna. I'm gonna blackmail the killer.
Don't blackmail killers. They're probably gonna kill you.
They're killers. This is what happens. And it's like, I'm going to go up to
the killer and just say to him, look, I know you're the killer. Don't do
that. It's not going to end well. This is quite a good
scene when she's snooping around Stefano's apartment, because there's no one there.
But it's like, has he been burgled? What's going on? And then all of a
sudden, there's a jump scare of sorts, because he's got a huge
red parrot that kind of squawks as she walks in the room.
And then she sees lots of dolls in his room,
and she finds a letter to Danny.
But then the landlady walks in and startles her and says, oh,
no, he hasn't been home for a while. And then, yes,
we're on the train. So all the girls are on the train, all sort of
sleeping, and who do we get? Someone walks in. This is a doctor
that we find out later on. Just enters the carriage,
where these beautiful women, semi naked, are all sort of sprawled out, sleeping.
And he just sits down next to them, just start staring at them all.
If you were on a train and that was the carriage, you'd be like,
oh, I've got to choose a carriage to sit in. Go sit in the carriage.
Yes, sir. All right, hang on. Which carriage? There's three
people. He gives them
creepy looks. They get off the train. And this
is what I mentioned earlier now, so Ursula is the black chick. She is absolutely
smoking. She's like something of a black exploitation movie. And she is
sat there with a tiny, short song. She's got her legs up, and the camera
is, like, zoomed in, and her legs are kind of making a triangle shape,
if that makes sense. One leg's laying down, the other leg sort of bent up,
and the camera's through that triangle and zooms back out because it's got
basically zoomed into some pervert locals
staring. And they're like, oh, look at that. Oh, look at the
thighs on her. And it pans back
just to show all these Mendez just looking.
They probably french music played because they've only ever had
the same women in their village. So these three hot italian women have shown up.
They're just like, 30 men have just stopped
everything that's going on to just stare. And then one lucky
guy who owns a red tractor says, I'll drive you all to the
villa. So they're like, great. So they all sexily get on.
I've never seen one of the attractor.
Get one of the women, one of the wives of the men looking,
stop looking, that sort of thing. And he's like yeah but look.
So it's the milkman. They say to you can you come up frequently? And he's
like all right. And she one of them gets up into the tractor and he
just looks right up skirt and he is. Even though he says
some stuff later on he actually out all the other guys. Doesn't seem
as interested in Shagna. More on interest in doing his job.
Which is funny because in the UK there is a bit of a joke about
the milkman being the one that gets around a bit. And my dad was a
milkman. Oh what's the milkman in
their father Ted? That episode Frank?
Pat butcher I think. Pat Butcher is it?
Yeah, I think so. We also meet a simpleton,
a village idiot if you will, called Balochenne.
When the women drove off they all go oh you'll
do well with them, weren't you? This local guy is just localized
to take the piss out the cobbler just out of nowhere.
And it's like this poor guy, where's this come from? Because he's like the
village idiot isn't he? You know he's probably got. His mum and dad are probably
cousins or something. He's autistic or something.
I know but this was the seventies. Come so they
just rip out of him. Ah, you're not mentally all there. We're gonna take the
piss out of you for that. You're a virgin at 30.
Haha. So let's cut to the
villa before. We do have this bit
where there's this blonde lady, it just has on her windscreen
full of sand. There's so much sand all over a car it's ridiculous.
It's like where's this sand come from? And it's just all over windscreen
screen written into it like, you know, let's have a date tonight, et cetera.
From some it says, I'm glad you don't clean your car. Let's have a date
tonight. Oh, it should have said are you as dirty
as your car? Let's have a date tonight. One of my ex girlfriends
once we were walking down the street and there was a really dirty van and
she wrote I wish my wife was this dirty on
the guy's van in the dirt. And I thought that was brilliant.
I wish my wife was this dirty. That's, that's, that's a very well
known thing on fans. I'd never seen it before. Oh okay.
That's. I see it all the time on fans. This is like in the,
in the early two thousands. It's your first experience of the
dirty wife. Oh, hello.
I'm glad alice isn't listening. Um, so, yeah, we're in the villa.
So the lady takes the car. She takes
the car to the garage to get it cleaned. Why don't you clean it yourself,
you stupid cow? Anyway, she's got more money and cents.
She fucking takes it there. Can you clean this car? So the garage guy goes,
yeah, I'll clean it for you tonight. What? Last evening where it's dark, because she
takes it in the dock and then I'll return it first thing tomorrow. I think
he returns it a couple of days later, actually. But he drives her
up to the villa. So in her car, drops her off. So they've
got no car and they're stuck up with a video. Yeah. So this is Jane.
They knew she was going to be late, so they're sitting around drinking wine in
the villa, smoking cigarettes, being italian.
And they're waiting for Jane. Yeah. She gets, like you
said, she gets directions from that guy. And then he says, I'll just drive you
there. It's easier. She arrives and she
tells Danny, you know, I've been to Stefano's apartment. Yeah. She realized
wasn't him. Yeah. Danny starts going, oh, actually, I think it was a
different scarf that Stefano had. Nice one.
Now you think that? Yeah. Sorry about that. Somebody in
gloves, though, is outside the villa watching, peeping in the
windows. And boy, does he get a show because
Ursula does a sexy strip for Danny. And he
is watching through the bars of the window at this point. And they get down
to some serious girl on girl action at this point. They're gonna have some
wet walls outside, aren't they? It is fantastic.
They kiss the I've written. They make love. I've got no notes for this
at all. You've just memorized it? Oh, I just remember it. But,
yeah, I've got no notes of the sexual. There's so much in it.
It's too much to keep saying. We do cut to the village,
and this is at nighttime with all the local lads. Well, hang on. Just before
that, whilst they're making love and someone's perving on them,
there's another pervert outside who is Baloch. The village idiot
is also outside. And he runs off.
He runs off and someone chases him
and he gets killed. So the neither village idiot has been. Killed as well,
in a bit. Okay.
Okay. Because we do cut to the local guys in
the walking along. So they're all talking. And this
is where one of them says, forbidden fruits, the best.
They're like grapes. Then another one says, well, the owners days
is really ripe. She's gorgeous. It's weird.
I won't mind spoiling her a little more second with
me. And I would get her knocked up. What do you have sperm
vision? So what I question you is sperm vision a marvel
superhero? What is sperm vision? Oh,
I mean, it probably is one of the X Men or something, isn't it?
Just could shoot, shoot, sure fire here. Out of
his eyes. I'm stuck to
the wall. Just makes people pregnant by looking at them.
Yeah, that's, that's the super power. That's what sperm
vision is. I'm sure Nicolas Cage can do that in real life.
Anyway, that's what they say. But we do have boobs in
the Nate cuts back to the boobs and the lady sex and then we get
the pervert scared off and followed. And it's a pov
from the camera. Yeah. And I love these pov shots. These jello
movies are famous for it. And he gets killed and strangled and
his body, quite nicely is dumped into a well. We're in the cameras
in the water, so it's quite nice because you see the top of the well
opening. Wow, wow, wow. Next day, the milkman's stunned,
but he circles up to the house and there's
two ladies sunbathing totally naked. And he just stops
his bike and. It'S just been like, there's three ladies, some baby,
but two of them, two. Of her naked, the other one never gets naked.
And it happens to later on, it's the same when they're swimming. Two of them
are naked and the other one isn't. I don't know why. And they don't,
they don't bat an eyelid. He's just like over it and
he is gobsmacked. You've written, he is stunned. So we both felt the same about
that. And then another lady from upstairs spots
him and says, hey, you turned up. He's like, yeah, yep.
I brought, I brought you two pints. Love the white stuff.
But he's got more than two points. The ladies and put some towels around themselves
and go hee. Like me and you dad would run
off our towels. Don't look at my breasts, don't look at my willy.
But in all the commotion, Jane falls downstairs and hurts her ankle.
Um, yes. She's so excited to get down
to the milkman. She, she falls. Cornflakes now.
Brilliant. Splendid. Falls down and does a,
does her ankle in. So she's fucked, basically,
yeah. So they need a doctor. We need to get a doctor in immediately.
So we'll cut to that doctor in a moment.
Stefano, in a scarf, is spying
on the milkman at this point. There's so many
people spying in this film. Everyone's spying
should be a spy movie.
The doctor arrives and it is the guy, the pervert from the
train that got in their carriage when they were all asleep with their legs open.
I say, well, this doctor can be a pervert. Yes. Yes,
he could. She says, I think I recognize you. You were looking at us on
the train. He said, yes, I'm the doctor.
I could be a gynecologist if you like. He doesn't say that. I've added that
bit. But, yeah, I went to a doctors the other day and
the guy was like, so traditionally, how many fingers?
Oh, sorry, just the old English. He looked
like you, James Herod, type vet sort of look. He was
just so traditionally english. The clothes he wore,
the choice of color. Yeah. Tweed,
that sort of thing. But it wasn't meant to eat, but that sort of.
He might have been. It might be his jacket. It was very. Yeah, what you
expect? You called me up with a. Well, you left me a voice note
after that visit to the doctor. So you were adamant you
weren't masturbating all the way through that voice note. I was on my exercise bike,
but I realized that I was going, I got this. I got this
voice note on WhatsApp and all I heard was,
obviously, I knew it was Gav, because it comes through, it's Gav. And then it's
like, oh, dad,
I'm not wanking. And I thought, well, well, he probably is, because he
started off with that. And then it goes on for about four minutes of what
he's been up to. He's been to the doctor, he's doing some exercise. And about
three more times. I'm not wanking, by the way. And at the very end he
says, anyway, I'll speak to you soon. I'm definitely
not masturbating. I was laughing my head off walking
down the street. It was playing out loud as I was walking towards
pick my kids up from nursery school. I went to doctors because of my heart.
I was having issues and nothing to worry about.
And one of the things was exercising
more. I was like, more like exercise already. So I was on it and I
have been, and it's been good. Wanking, furiously going on the exercise bike
every day. So while the doctor's there,
sort of checking out Jane's ankle. Danny gets a phone call from her uncle.
And just to check on them, make sure they're all okay. And the doctor does
act a little suspiciously,
but that's not really. Now this doctor, later on we're gonna find out he's got
a fucking good double drop kick. That's what I'm gonna say.
Oh, kung fu, doc. Doctor, kung fu. He's pretty
rad, but we'll come to that. So let's go to the
girl skinny dipping. At the moment, I feel I think
doctor's the killer because obviously they've kind of made that to me,
to think that. So that's where I'm at with it. It's good that they do
this. It's good because we know it's not Stefano. Apparently it's not
the village idiot now because he's dead.
Yeah, they're naked. Swimming. They're naked again.
It is Boyness. Yeah. I just don't even need to write naked. I just assume
it. And then Danny, being paranoid, says, someone's in the bushes.
I think it's Stefano. And they're like, what? You mean Stefano? We left him.
Stefano. He's in Rome. What are you talking
about? Right, that's it. I'm the kid. I'm gonna sneak up
a bit in the bushes. She's like, well, I'm sure I saw somebody there.
So I assume it's Stefano. Obsessed.
Let's all go back and drink some champagne. So they all go back.
All four girls are sitting on a bed together. Now,
it's only because of the bed, because the lady's ankle. I know,
but a boy can drink. They just hang out a bit. And they're like,
she's like, I'm gonna go sleep. And they're like, oh, we'll go downstairs, play some
music. Maybe you can hear it. I'll play piano with them. And they leave her
and she takes a pill and goes to sleep. And Danny,
Danny says, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll ring Stefano on the phone
and we'll find out if he's at home or away.
And it she rings and there's no answer. But then the doorbell goes, see,
just. Like this is it at this point here in the movie, I was like,
this is weird. Why have we. When are we gonna get these ladies killed?
Because there isn't that much of a movie left. And all these
ladies are gonna be killed off. And it's normally sporadic,
isn't it? Yeah. Kill scene. Every maybe
15 minutes or something. So this was like,
when's this gonna happen? And it's, at this point here, such a
weird choice. And I like it, and I don't like
it because I would have liked the. The what I was saying
with just them being sporadically killed than what we have here.
But go ahead, explain. Well, I was gonna say, just while you're talking
about that, I guess there's a plus and a negative to doing
it all in this filler is that it would have felt a little bit too
much like black Christmas. But then is that a bad thing as well? Do you
know what I mean? I don't think that ever came up to it.
I would say possibly, if anything, it's for budget reasons.
Yeah, I do like
it and I don't because it's basically, we're then thrown into
a lady who sprained her ankles, hithenne, the audience are thrown
into her head because she's knocked out and gone asleep. She doesn't know what
happens. In a moment. We're not gonna. After you say what happens,
we have a cut point, and we don't know what happens either. So in that
sense, I guess we're the same as her. But the reveal
isn't as good as it could be if that is a choice. In the morning,
when she does realize. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Well, the doorbell goes,
and, oh, it's Stefano. Oh, he's dead. And he's got a staff around
him, and he's being strangled. And then we see some gloved hands behind him.
And that's kind of all we see other than in the morning, just before
Jane wakes up, we see Stefano being buried in the garden outside.
And then Jane wakes up because she took some badass sleeping pills that put
her. To. Put her to sleep. She wakes up, she says, it's 11:00 a.m.
girls, where are you all? Well, at this point, as audience members
watching the film, we don't know either. Like I was just saying, we literally don't
know what happened. I was like, was that. Is that a mistake? What's going on
here? Right. We see a black gloves. We know it's not Stefano. Basically,
we're being told it's not Stefano. Boom, they're dead. It isn't black gloves. You still
don't know who is the killer. So we're still assuming
now, I guess, doctor, I guess we're trying to put across.
Yeah. And we don't know what happened. So we wake up. She wakes up,
and we're along with her, we're almost waking up to the film going,
what happened? She calls out for the
other girls. There's no answer. And she finds Ursula and Katya, both dead.
I. She screams. She finds Danny,
who's dying, and then dies in her arms. And then
she hears somebody outside the front door. So she goes off and hides,
and in walks someone with a fucking hacksaw.
This isn't good, is it? No,
it's quite good. It's quite a disturbing
thing for her later on. The second time we see the hacksaw, we hear the
sound effects more. The first time, we don't. I think they should have put the
sound effects a bit more of cutting on bone. And the first instance, there's an
amazing shot where she peeks and she just sees her friend's arm
moving. And she knows it's because it's being
sawn. Yeah. You know, it's. That's, that's a
great shot. You don't have to show anything. Doesn't even
realize at the moment there's another person there. She assumes that.
So that's why I love this. It's a really weird one
because we've just gone from four women happily just got to this place the
first evening. Oh, no. A couple of days there, and then all of a
sudden, boom. We don't even see it. Three of them are taken out.
It's like. But I do like it because she's
got the advantage now, because, like you just said, the killer only thought there were
three women. Yeah. It's a really interesting way to do
it, I think. Yeah. She's got, she's got the upper hand at this moment.
Yeah. So it's a. It does sort of go back to suspense
realm. So she's. She's watching some of her friends being sliced
up with Mahax or. And obviously, you have to stay quiet. And it must be
a very disturbing thing. You'd be freaking out to be like, in wrong
tune. I think if, if the actual human mind,
if it saw that, the shock factor, I think
you're just. You'd be stuck there. You won't be able to move. You'd be fucked,
I think, you know. Happens in wrong turn where they hide in a room and
they watch their friends being sliced up by the. I think that'd
be too much. But the doorbell goes and interrupts Mister
Haxel, and it's the milkman. He said, I've got your milk here and your cream
and your eggs.
Jane manages to creep out of her hiding place. Millman's knocking
her doors. Everyone there. And I said, stop the killer. And the
killer keeps having these stoppages. Yeah. He's like, for fuck's sake,
chop up bodies. She sees the
milk bottle roll across the floor.
The milkman comes, knocks the door, leaves the stuff,
and goes. The killer stands out and realizes, I better go
get the milk in so it doesn't look suspicious. And the newspaper goes out and
then just froze the bottles in, and they just roll wrong. And she sees that,
but she knows that the killer has left the building like Elvis.
So she picks up the phone, but, of course, the lines have been cut,
so she can't call out. And then we remember much like
in bloody hell. What's the
Hitchcock movie where he's got the bad. He's got the bad legs.
Rearview.
She can't get up the stairs as quickly. She's like,
she's pain. She realizes, though, she is stuck in his house now,
though, the fact that she's got this ankle and she's actually locked in a house,
this is. It's such an interesting choice at
this point. Here. This. This is what you want in a film. This is almost
like you could be your plot in the film. A lady with, like. Like,
a window, someone river,
a disability, as such, can't leave the house. And there being,
like, someone in the house, it's a good plot. So it's really
weird that it took so long to get to this. I feel like torso shaped
should be. More of this, but I think
because this is my lasting impression of it, this last half. That's why I do
like torso. I really enjoy it. If anything, though,
it's not a long movie, if you go second half, you're gonna start doing this.
You're definitely gonna get the interest of the audience still upped,
rather than maybe, like, going down slightly. So. And also, it works.
You've padded out the first half of the film with loads of boobs and murder.
Yeah. So it's got something for everyone in this.
So she looks at. This is a really good bit. Now, she looks out the
window at the top of the villa, and she thinks, I am
so far away from the actual main tone versus her
realization. Yeah. And even if I screamed,
no. So I'm not going to do that. Fairytale now, isn't it?
Yeah. She's like Rapunzel in a castle. So she flashes a
mirror. Not her boobs. Not her boobs. I mean, she could have done
that, but I don't think anybody would have seen them. She. No. Before we get
to this, though. She sees a fish. Yeah.
And looks out and goes, oh, brilliant. Then all of a sudden sees the killer
returning. I know, it's great, great shots of
him just like trudging through this. She then goes, fuck. So she hobbles
around a room and tidies up the whole room and froze it in a wardrobe
just in case he comes up. Now that is some quick ass. Thinking.
She's clever. She's realized he doesn't know she's there. That's so quick.
All of her shit. She puts it away and then she hides a.
Then she flashes a mirror to see if she can catch anyone's attention.
And the doctor does see it and he thinks, that's a bit weird.
I'll call the villa.
That does happen. Just before this we do. The killer does go back
to what he was doing inside downstairs, cutting away. But then he's interrupted again
by the person trying to return the car.
Oh, that's right. And then. And then goes off again.
So the doctor calls the landmine to the villa and there's no answer. So he
thinks, hmm, bit weird. I might. I'll put that
in my memory and I might do something about that later on. One thing with
this werner he keeps, because it's almost like we've got a little thing going on.
We got the lady stuck, we've got a doctor doing his thing, and then we
got the killer doing their thing. And it's quite amusing. But the
one thing, which I kind of is. It's an interesting choice
because it's doing the mystery reason the camera angles are always
to downwards sort of chest and down for
the killer. Why not? I guess he wouldn't done.
Didn't need to. Because the killer didn't need to hide the killer's face.
So that's why. But I loved it more. If it had been the white
ski mask and we saw the ski mask and them doing
it. But it does give it a mystery element. Not showing who it is
still. Yeah, like. Like I said, that shot where she sees, she checks
if he's still there. And she sees her friend's arm moving backwards and forwards as
he's in motion with the saw. There's no shots of the killer's face.
We keep saying he. It's not because we're showing, it's because we know.
She then notices. Oh, bollocks. I've left my slippers out on
the landing. I need to hide those.
But doesn't have time. The kid finds the shoes,
but then just goes and froze me in a different room.
And she freezes at this point because. She'S behind the door frozen,
going, oh, God, is he going, open this door? And the floorboards are creaking.
The sound design is quite good here. You know, it's just every little
creak. You're really worried that she's going to give herself away.
And he, we get the pov of him as he takes
another body outside. And she sees him out the window
carrying and carrying that body away. And he's like, another one done, right,
I'll go back in and cut the next one up in a minute. And then
we cut to the doctor. Well, yeah, because we've got the doctors basically seeing
this at the side where he's having coffee. He's looking up and saying, that's strange,
as I like flashing from there. We do have,
though, before we get to where you're getting to in the car when the doctor
driving along, excuse me,
the doctor does actually speak to Milkman.
Yeah. And he realizes and a milkman says. Well, I've been up to the villa
and there's an, oh, no, no, sorry, it's not the milkman.
He speaks gauge person. But the milkman is trying to tell all the other guys
in the village he's another lady up there now you gotta go check it out.
And the other guys go, what you talking about? The guys who from before were
talking about the ladies. They're saying, three, three women,
six boobs. Six sets of legs, and he's gone.
Go up there. But there's someone just standing there. We don't see who. We're supposed
to assume it's the killer going, thinking, oh, no, don't you all you lads
go up there because they're all dead. Please don't go up there. Is the killer
all of a sudden got back down to town? It's a
strange, it's just thrown in there, but it.
Lots of red herring body, I suppose. Yeah. The doctor then
drives to the garage, talks to the garage man and
says, he says, I've been up to the house, the car,
but there's no one. There's no one there. So I've come back and
he's like. So he quickly rushes up there with a lady in his car,
doesn't he? Well, he's driving one of his pages, going,
I've got warts, my heart. And he's like,
for God's sake. And then he stops the car all of
a sudden. And another, a big van just drives straight into the back of his
car. It does on a bend. And I love this,
the italian style, because I've heard about this. Italian cars and bumpers are
spent be for bumping when you're parking up in
it here. Apparently, it's just literally like, bang, bang, bang, back and forwards,
and, like, no one's reproaches the cars. That's what I heard. I don't know if
that's true. And, yeah, it's just like that.
And he's like, sue me, or whatever. He says, it just drives off.
And the guys are, you bastard. But it's a real,
real, like, crash. Like the people did. That definitely got whiplash. The actors are inside
the car because it's actually a car being here.
The lights not shining anymore, says, that's strange. So shoots up there,
doesn't he? Now, at this point, Jane escapes from her
room. Well, how does she escape from a room? This is.
This is a classic scene. This is the newspaper.
So I've never seen this before. First I've seen it. She put some newspaper underneath
a door, pushes the key out for the key to land on the newspaper.
Important newspaper for. I'd never seen this. First time I watched this, I was like,
oh, what an obviously easy way of doing
it, but very creative in a sense, very simple, creative thing. I love.
It's been done so many more times since.
And I was quite interested. I was like, that's really cool what she's doing.
I realized that, and I was like, oh, the key didn't go on the newspaper,
and all of a sudden, we just see the black glove put the key on
the paper because the killer wants them to open the door.
Such a brilliant bit. I'm. I'm gonna
say now, listeners, one day there might be a movie come out, like, make.
And this is. This scene is exactly copied in it because I'm
gonna steal this. They go, very good. It's just so good.
Um, I'm sure we've seen that in films since
where the killers helped the victim, and they've not realized
it. Nice. This could have been done with more tension, but the first time I
saw it shocked me enough to go like, oh, wow, that's so cool.
Well, she opens the door, and. Who is it? It's Franz.
The history teacher?
Yep. And he is the killer.
He says they were only dolls, the other girls made of flesh.
So I killed them all.
His reasoning of being a killer is, when he was a child, he was
out with a girl and another boy. And this boy was like,
can I see your pants? His brother. His brother. His brother. Can I see
what's in your pants to this little girl. She's like, I'll show you, but get
my doll off that cliff edge. And then just falls off this cliff
edge. Because he wanted to see this young girl's things.
And this is. This is the catalyst
for him being a killer. Yeah, because after that, it's because
he. Thinks women getting what they. Using their bodies to
get what they want is somehow the message in this film. And then he's
got dolls mixed in with that because it was a doll that killed his brother.
And then he had another incident, which was the opening scene where he
was lured into a threesome with two women who then blackmailed
him by taking pictures of it. He then killed them. And he's since then
been going on a killing spree because he hates women, loves dolls.
It's a really odd movie, really, because you got to think about how many men
are perfect over women is continuously. And then obviously,
this is about a killer who doesn't like women. Women using
their sexuality to get what they want.
I suppose it does work, but it's interesting. You could really get into it and
really deep. We're not. He says, I know I'm not normal.
Well, yeah, you're not, mate. No, you're kidding. People. You're fingering people's
eyeballs and slicing people up. That's it. You don't even
need a slicing, just fingering eyeballs. He pulls out his
scarf, his little dainty scarf, but. Doctor kung fu to the rescue.
And they have this amazing fight. Now. Struggle. Then they chase out
to the barn. They have a bit more of a fight.
And then there's an amazing bit where the doctor runs through the air and basically
does a Jean Claude van Damme double throw kick into
France, knocks him over. And then they
fight a bit more and then someone gets. Someone falls off a cliff. But we
don't know who. Yeah, we don't know who. And then she's waiting.
And the doll which gets thrown off the cliff is brilliant.
Oh, it's so bad. I love it when a mannequin comes. I love a
mannequin being thrown off a building. I know Bo ransom always talks about this as
well on his shows, but, yeah, there's something funny about the floppy arms
of a mannequin. It's the joy
of cinema, I think. Absolutely love it.
And it's been parodied in films like Naked gun and that, I should imagine.
I've seen to remember using ridiculous dolls.
But yes, it is the doctor that saved the day. He steps out of the
darkness. Well, she sees the killer first, and somehow
it must be in her mind and it changes and it's is
the. Doctor and he's a hero. And he ends by putting his arm around her
and saying, I told you things were meant to be. I told you there was
a destiny and maybe me and you should. And he basically ends
by perving on her. Even though he just saved her from a serial killer,
he cannot resist saying to her, maybe after,
you know, you've got over all this and all your mates have been murdered,
maybe after that we could hook up. Do you fancy hooking up now? Should we
do it right now? Do you want to do it on the bar in the
barn? It's after a message that she's
trying to be told in this film about men are basically cunts
and to women, because they just
generally are most of the time, unfortunately. And I do apologize for
the men out there who do these things, but trying to put that kind of
message across and all of a sudden at the end he saves
a day like the man saves the day. And then the man
says, come on in, let's go get it on because I'm horny.
It's like that shouldn't been the ending there. Like the man can
save the day, I guess. But welcome to the
word of Jello. Not then can I now go get my
dick sucked? It kind of defeats the
message. I feel it's trying to put across anyway. It is, though, if you can
sit back and watch a horror movie, it's called torsos
are fucking great. And the tagline when haws met saws, it's not
really brilliant because those ladies are not really.
No. Anyway, it's a good tagline.
Not PC anymore, but, you know, when. It was released in America,
it was double billed with the Texas chainsaw massacre at
drive thrus. So go and see them together.
They're not really the same film, really. No. But yeah,
I give it a thumbs up. It's a brilliant jello. It ticks the boxes
for Jello. Yeah, you've got your black gloves, you've got your mask,
you've got your strangulations, boobs,
lots of red herrings, beautiful women, all that kind of stuff.
It's Tarantino. Tarantino owns the
original print of this. He showed it at
the cutie fest in 1980,
1999. I expect he's shown new Beverly
his cinema as well. And Eli Roth says it's his favorite giallo
of all time and influenced him
somewhat when he made the groundhouse and hostel movies.
It's very good Jallo. It's a very good example of Jallo.
It's very early Jallow. It's early seventies. You know,
I feel like Jallo really didn't come into, and I'm
quoting that documentary, all the colors of Jello. It really wasn't until Argento
started getting involved where the blueprints really started coming
in with the leather gloves and all that kind of stuff. But this
definitely is a great one. It's the second time I've watched it.
I enjoyed it even more this time around, picking it apart.
And actually, I'm glad I've watched it twice now because I understand the plot.
It was hard to understand the first time I watched it a couple of years
back. So thank you, Kevin, for that one. That was a really good one.
It's good to review it. And talking of black leather gloves,
here he is. Bill Murray has walked in the room in these red stilettos,
black leather gloves. He's smoking with a cigarette holder. He's being as
italian woman as he can be. And that is a hell of a bush
you've got there sticking out of. His pants and everything, isn't it?
That is crazy, Bill. I guess that takes a listen to.
Ron of the strange. Bill, is that why you're here? Unless you're going to strangle
with that scarf. Don't look at me like that. Just take
a sin to the what? Gav, tell him. I'm not. I'm staying out for
today, so all up to you. Okay, let's do.
Hi, welcome back to World of the strange.
Right? So, thankfully, Bill is sitting
across from me in a white balaclava.
This is very weird. And he is said today is a news
roundup. We've got a roundup. We've got a few little
stories for you, Gav, and I'm going to.
I'm gonna tell you the headlines for each of them. You can tell me which
one you want to do first. Okay? So we can either discuss
bad dads. First of all, a bear attack
sloths or a little monster
get their bad. Dads out of the way because I don't like bad dads.
Okay? Bad dads. So if you ever want wonder whether you're a bad
dad, you know, if you. God, I shouldn't have told them off. I've made them
cry. You're not a bad. As bad a doubt as this guy.
A man in Kentucky, he's been put into prison
for nine years, didn't want to pay child support.
So what he did was he hacked into
the government system and create
and hacked into multiple systems and networks,
basically put himself down as deceased.
What a cunt he's got. The fact that the cunt's got
hacking skills, but he wants to use that
so he doesn't pay for his children to survive and live.
What a cunt he basically was. Everyone thought he
was dead for a few months and then he was spotted and then it was
all found out. And then because he'd only done it on the majority of
government systems, there was a few that caught him out.
So, yeah, he's been in prison for nine years. And also,
what if the ex wife. Or whatever found out about this and just thought,
oh, fuck it, and just took him out to the woods and shot him?
Oh, yeah, double jeopardy. And he'd be like, but. But it's like, no one
I know you're dead. That's what happens in that film, double jeopardy,
which is quite a good film, actually, where the girl, the wife,
her husband, she tries to kill her husband in self
defense, goes to prison, gets out.
The double jeopardy is you can't go to prison for the same crime twice.
So she hunts him down because he was abusive, and she kills him properly that
time. But, yeah, he also had to pay back $200,000
of child support to the lady as well.
So he got what was coming. But I thought you'd like that one because
I thought that involved faking your own death and all that kind of stuff.
So that's the bad dad story. Bit weird. I knew it would annoy you a
little bit. So that leaves us with a bear attack. I like
bear attacks, though. Sloths.
What was the last? A little monster. Well, just. Just do
that. Or just give me. Bears laugh last.
So I'll give you the little monster first, then very short story,
this one. Okay, bear with me just a moment. There we go.
So this is an old story.
1973. A man in Illinois at a place called Enfield.
There's an Enfield in England?
Enfield, Illinois. He told reporters, I saw a little creature
in my garden and everybody sort of questioned it. And he described
it as having three legs, a short body,
two little arms and two big pink eyes.
The police came out and they found scratches on his back door
and footprints in the soil that looked like
a dog's foot, but with six toes.
Okay. And he said to reporters,
if they find it, I guarantee they'll find more than one of them.
And they're not from this planet, I can tell you that.
Just came across that story today, and I thought, that's an interesting little one.
How does he know? If they find out, they can find Mordo not from this
planet. How does he know it could be from this planet? Because he's mental,
I guess. He's been smoking too
many things. He's been taking mushrooms.
But anyway, that was the little monster story. That leaves
us with sloths or bears.
Sloths. So you want sloths, don't you?
Okay, bear with me just a moment. Here we go.
So, gav, got some bad news for you.
We've had the corona. Have we got the sloth, a virus we've
had. Now we've got monkeypox doing the rains. But there's also a new
virus called sloth fever. Sloth fever.
Sloth fever. Sloth fever. It's slough
fever going really slowly.
Is that slough fever?
More than 20 cases of oral polish
virus, or sloth fever, have been found in
people coming back to the US from Cuba.
What are they doing, the sloths in Cuba.
20 people coming back to the US, winkeeper, have been infected
with a virus transmitted by bugs in sloths.
None of them have died and there's no evidence of it spreading too much.
Officials are warning us doctors, please be on the lookout for
travelers coming back from Cuba and South America with similar
illnesses and symptoms. So it's
a virus that's native to forest areas and tropical
areas. First identified in 1955.
Barely anybody's got it. But it's often called sloth fever because
scientists first investigated of the virus find it started in three toed sloths
and apparently sloths then pass it on to insects, which then
can pass it on to other animals. It's all the. I hate sloths so
much. Always hate them. And now I know they
are disgusting, horrible things.
Have you ever seen a wet sloth? Why the
hatred? They make me sick. Look at them. A lot of animals
that are wetland look a bit.
They're creepy. They've got long, curly fingers. It's definitely.
You've definitely had some instant of a sloth. Have you seen those curly fingers?
Ow. Here's the bear.
Oh, hang on. We haven't finished the sloth one yet. Oh, okay. So it's
spread to humans by small biting flies and midges.
And the symptoms are. So, guys, if you
get. If you've been to Cuba and you've got any of the following symptoms,
please go and see your doctor. Tell them you've got slur fever,
sloth. Fever, to sing it as well.
So symptoms are similar to malaria.
You get fever, headaches,
aching muscles, diarrhea,
vomiting. This is like my normal day. And rashes.
Patients can have these symptoms for up to a couple of months.
So if you're shitting for three days, for three months,
you've got slope. If you got diarrhea for three months every day, that's. That's the
situation. Um, some severe cases include bleeding
from your orifices. Yeah, yeah. Get out of a bleedy bum if
you've got diarrhea every day for three months. Anyway, no one has,
as yet, has died of sloth fever.
Sloth fever. No one's died of it yet.
And as yet, there are no vaccines either.
I'm not trusting vaccine, but it can be. We've got a
sloth vaccine. No, but it can be cured with
lots of medication and iv's and all that kind of business, so.
So, yeah, there's sloth paper for you. I thought you'd like that
one. Oh, ways to prevent it is, if you go
to Cuba, wear long sleeve shirts and trousers rather than shorts and
t shirts, to prevent the bugs from biting you. Handy travel tip
there, ladies and gents. If you're off to Cuba, long trousers.
Long trousers and long sleeved shirts. Okay.
I was more gutted, really. I was hoping that that story would
mean, like, you started becoming like a. Were sloth.
That would be a good, you know.
There. Sloth. Like, it would be like zombiever.
Yeah. Sloth fever, in fact, would be a good title for a film,
but. There we go. All right, here we go. Here's the last story. Bears.
Oh, yeah. A mum survived a bear
attack during her jog thanks to a hair clip.
Stick. Vanessa. Well, let's. Let's go through
this. So Vanessa, out on a hike in
Canada on a local campground. She's been there many times
before, and she was with her dog as
well, a german shepherd called Luna. She turned
a corner on a little jog, and she came face to face with one.
No, two. No, three bears.
Fuck. Three bears,
she said. I didn't realize at the time there was a fourth bear behind me.
I was about to say, it's a bit like a golden dogs thing going on
here, but, yeah, not the fourth. Four bears.
What is the fourth one doing? I bet it's bent over. So she's gonna fall
over. It got her. Let's see.
The dog ran off and chased the two smaller bears.
Nice one. No, no, it chased the two smaller
bears away. Cool. Which I believe to have been
like, juvenile bears, you know, like younger bears. Leaving the
male bear in front of her. Which charged at her.
Wow. She said, I picked a tree, got behind
it, and hoped the bear wouldn't be able to get to me, but it took
me down. It picked my head up in its mouth,
and I ended up being thrown to the ground. I felt like a ragdoll.
The bears claws were digging into my back, and it bit
my arm almost off at one point.
I just kept thinking all the way through, I'm not ready to leave my two
year old behind. I'm not ready to leave my husband behind. I don't want to
die. Then it bit down onto the back of my head.
Yeah. And my gone. Go on. What are you gonna say when that
happens? You can. The paranoia, Boyden, you know, from watching shows
and stuff, people. It's happened to Mike. You can really feel like
you can hear. Yes. Go like you really hear in your
head when it happens. Well, as it bit down,
her hair clip exploded, like, the spring and all the
plastic into the bear's mouth, which really scared
the bear. And at that point, the dog had come back and started really
barking at it. So the bear then ran off because it was alarmed
by this thing that had exploded in its mouth. Stuff probably got,
like, the palate of the mouth because you remember inside the mouth still gonna have,
like, soft areas. So it's gonna be sensitive. So, yeah, something like
spring pops out. It would definitely. Probably because they're freak out.
Like they're eating for them is their main motherfucking thing, innit?
She while this, while she was being attacked by the bear, by the
way, she also was resourceful enough to call 911 on
her apple watch while she's
been thrown around, been bitten in the head.
How can I help today? Bear attack. Right now,
my head is in its mouth right now.
She had to stay in hospital for two weeks. She had a broken arm,
30 stitches on her skull, stitches on her back, stitches on her
arm, and her ear was almost had to be replaced, like,
sewn back on. But she did say, I'm very shocked,
but I know I'm very lucky. Thanks to my dog and my hair
clip, nothing. No one knew what happened to the fourth bear,
the one that was just sort of perv ing on the whole thing.
But she said, I like to perv on slaughter.
We've since found three bears matching the description in the area,
and we've put two of them down, so they have to kill them. When they
attack humans like this, it's really sad, but they have to.
Well, trouble was, though, that the larger
bear, probably the mum or whatever, and the cubs.
Was it cubs? Well, they were younger, but they were, like,
not little. They were still pretty big. Oh,
okay. I was gonna say, but it's then still, if it's a parent there,
it's looking after this. It's young. That's why
it's done that. That's exactly the reason.
Well, they're now on high alert in the area. The remaining two bears.
Well, that's recent, then. Uh, yeah, this was August.
This is so. This is this year. Well, it's a shame they had to put
the bears down because I don't feel like that was, you know,
this. Is two weeks ago. Oh, wow.
Yeah. But, yeah, I thought that was. You know,
we all love our bears and bear attacks, and she
was very lucky that her dog and her hair clip saved the day.
Really good. Reminds of the dog
in, um, bad moon, you know. Yeah. Saving the
day from the werewolf. But dogs. Dogs are very good. Apparently,
the most sort of. The more the love you
give your dog, the harder it will fight
for you. Oh, apparently.
Well, I think, um, if I could, I'd feed the bad dad
to the bears. Yeah. And then give him sloth
virus. Yeah. And then get the little monsters come out and do
little monster things on him. What's that gonna be going in
his orifices? Oh, with the sloth fingers as well.
Well, there we go. That's a funny little world of the strange for today.
Just a little roundup of little stories from around the world.
I hope you enjoyed that. Remember, guys, go to Cuba. As I've
said, I can't stress enough. Wear long trousers,
socks up. Long trousers. Don't want to get sloth virus.
No. Well, Billy Bob, do you want to
take us out of here? Bob gets out of here, and then we're gonna
go to a trailer. I said Bob.
Bob Murray. Billy Bob. Yeah. And I go for trailer
for Tenebrae. Spy.
Spy. Okay, let's go. That's all the time we've got for. This week
on Worldwide. Next week, though,
Kimmy Iron, hairless pets,
weird.
Captain, homicide squire. The book deals with a murder
committed with an old fashioned open razor. Wish I'd never written that book.
Tenebrae from 1982.
Rated 18 hours and 41 minutes. An american novelist
visiting Rome to promote his latest book. Is stalked
and harassed by an obsessed fan who
is committing a string of murders that appear to be
tributes to his work.
Essentially, what we find out is a killer is kind of doing what's in
his latest novel, isn't it?
Indeed. Which is. Which is a trope we have seen.
We have seen that in some of these films before. We have. And this is
quite a meta film again, in some
ways, in that Argento
is getting a lot of flack
for his so say, treatment of women in films.
So he channeled that into this story of
Peter Neal the writer who was getting flak for his treatment of women in
his books. In his Jello books where women are slaughtered in horrible ways.
So Argento channeled that into this. And is
it interesting, though, because Dario is.
Adores women in a beautiful
light. Loves them in a beautifully way, I don't think.
As in. I think it probably could be deemed coming across
as slightly sexualized, I suppose. But obviously is in some
of his killing. And obviously, I think people have commented on
Asia his daughter having a breast out and stuff and him
filming those sort of sequences. But I think he.
Cause watching some behind the scenes stuff in that documentary of him
trying to cast someone and you could see him almost
looking past the sexuality but looking at the beauty of the woman.
He's very much. We've talked about before when we covered Suspiria
and other films and he's very much an artist. It's more
than just a film. It's very visual artist. Yeah.
It's the sound of the colors. It's the framing.
It's a. Each scene is its own little piece of art, really.
And Dario obviously came on the scene of a Crystal
burner, Crystal palace which
Hitchcock watched, actually and said, like, this guy's like,
I'm quite intimidated by this guy. Yeah. You know,
and obviously we've got to think of the granddaddy of Jello,
Mario Barr, who was a cinematographer,
turned director. So, like, it's interesting if
Mario Barber hadn't been a cinematographer just as an
editor or something and turned director how
different the whole genre of shallow
would be. I feel like he cemented
stuff from some of his stuff, what he did. And obviously
dagger's gone and taken that to more of an extreme of the violence and
stuff and the themes. But, yeah, you know,
well, paraphrasing that documentary all
the colours of Jallo Argento basically set the blueprint
with this film, really, for what
you can tick off your list of Jalo. Bingo. You know,
leather gloves, hidden faces, pavis elaborate
kills, crazy weapons being used women
lying around, you know, with their throats slit. Beautiful shots,
beautiful women, crazy music, beautiful music,
all that kind of stuff. He did a lot of that. You know,
this was the first film that he cameoed in with his. He's always the
black gloves in all of his films. Dario did that in this film as well.
Throw in, you know, legend John Saxon into the mix.
It's always great when he shows up in a movie. It's particularly a
giallo or an italian film or an Argento film.
I really like Anthony Francoisco, who plays Peter
Neil as well. And I know that they really didn't
get on, on set, Dario and the actor Anthony.
But I really like his character, Peter Neal. And I
feel like some elements of this are
reused in the mouth of madness later on but with a writer who's kind of
like, you know, his own novel is almost haunting him in a
way similar to this. This is just.
This is my second favorite Argento movie after Suspiria
and it's my favorite giallo movie. So I'm very excited that we get
to talk about it. I think it's beautifully
shot. I love the kills. I love the story. I love the red herrings.
I love the twists. I really,
absolutely adore the soundtrack.
The Goblin soundtrack is phenomenal here.
Everything about it. I just. This is almost a perfect film for
me. It's wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. And it's funny
here and there. Silly little funny moments with John Saxon and his hat.
And it's a pretty crazy twist but it kind of makes sense,
really, towards the end. We'll discuss that. Yeah. Exciting.
Obviously. Watch it, listeners, if you haven't seen it, because we will spoil it.
I was watching, saying. And we both knew who the killer was.
But I've been so long since I've seen it, I was like,
are we sure it's the.
You know, how's that possible? He's not even there. He's on the airplane. How could
he be killing someone? You know, it is a bit of.
Yeah. Anyway. But that's because he's not the original killer.
I know. Yeah. Which is nice,
actually. That's. That kind of is nice. You got
someone's where you started doing a killing. So they've laid down the fact that there's
a killer but then you kill the killer. Spoiler we're
gonna get into it and then you carry on doing the killing but that's being
blamed on the original killer. And then it's all because, again,
much like the previous film, torso of a childhood trauma. And that's
really interesting because. Yeah, and interesting because, like, if the police get old for you,
they're like, well, I wasn't there. I've got. I was
in river at a party, a five day long party
when those other four people were killed. Loads of people saw me. I'm on CCTV
cameras, you know. Do you know what I mean? You can. You can pull this
off today. Yeah, let's do it.
No, let's not. No, I need to kill multiple people. So we start
off with, I believe, Dario Argento, reading from the
fake book Tenebrae, which is italian for the
darkness. So if anybody wants to know,
very quickly, goblin. Just amazing Goblin score
over the top. It's powerful. It's like, as powerful as it is in
suspiria, you know? Yeah, I really. You know,
this is one of the best soundtracks. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure I've got a
final. I've got one of his records or freak of ten, bro.
Apparently the. The main song, the power,
that was remixed into, like, dance tracks and stuff in the eighties
in italian clubs, you can imagine being out, like, drinking and that comes
on, like, you'd be looking out for a guy with leather gloves.
Wouldn't you be worried?
Oh, before we get into the story, then, you know, this is the umpteenth time
I've seen it. I've probably seen this probably over ten times now.
I've not seen it. Probably seen ten years. Oh, really? Yeah,
I've seen it for ages. Absolutely love it. I watched it only a few years
ago. Really? And I always forget that John Saxon isn't a
main character in it, he's only supporting character in it. But he probably
only did, like, two days or shoot. But it's fun.
I was also quite shocked to find out that
the woman, the girl on the beach, she doesn't have a name. Very quickly,
you know, reason why you fought John Saxon, isn't it? More is because John Saxon's
in so many films. He is. So it makes you think he's just in it
for loads. Well, I forgot it wasn't dusk till dawn until I had a conversation
with somebody about this recently. She has the cop in Dusted dawn being
interviewed. Oh, yeah. But that's. That's. That's a kind
of. That's John Saxon,
Dick Miller type cameo. If you're going to take anyone to an
island to beat up a load of people with Bruce Lee, Chuck John Saxon in
there, he'll do it, he'll join you. What's he doing in
end to the dragon? It's amazing. I love
the fact he's in all those three guys. So good.
Oh, I love it. Absolutely love it. I love it. When I showed it to
Sarah, she'd never seen it. I was like, that's why, that's why Bruce Lee.
We're going on a slight tangent here, but this is what Kevin loves. The crow
came out in it. This is why the Bruce
Lee, you know, did, did that. He wanted
a chinese guy, a black guy and a white guy to come
together to take down this like crime lord he wanted
to be. It's fucking great.
See what happens when we all come together, people? We take down the
crime boss. We take down the crime boss with the crazy
crime boss and his opium dens and his big stabby fingers
and. Is, yeah, his wolverine hand kicks
with his funny suit. Only two of them survived, though.
Poor old Williams didn't survive. But there we go.
And very quickly that new crow movie came out. It is
being absolutely destroyed. It was
gonna be. Empire gave it one out of five. It's been absolutely
destroyed. Yeah, because I think people are looking, obviously taking aside the other film,
but look, looking at it as a film and then being like, that's not very
good film. Ernie Hudson said, I wouldn't,
wouldn't even bother looking. He said, I'm not, I'm not going to see it.
Why would you? It's funny because the studio obviously have made
it to try and make money. They've gone, some executives gone either because
it's been on the ship is coming and going for years.
At one point, Corinna Hardy was going to do it. Cory was going to do
it. Yeah. Which is a director of like the Hallo or is.
And it does horror films, so. Okay. That was with Jason Momoa.
That was when him and Jason did some makeup tests
and everything. Yeah, yeah. But yeah,
it's been like that sort of problem for a long time, just back and forth.
But executive was like, I think I know we can make some money
because they're using the name and it's just like you accuse that
neighbor, but at the same time it's going to backfire on them because it must
have been like, we're not living, we're not listening to the audience. We're looking at
numbers. The thing is, the first movie isn't technically
a good film, but because Brandon E. Died and because it holds
a special place for a lot of people, because the year it came out and
people were into that goth look, it's, it's a fantastic
emotional film. It should be alone. Some of the sequels
aren't that bad. There's like three or four sequels and they need a tv series
which had a, like one or two seasons. We've done it
to death now leave it but no, they still come back with the guy
who played from it. And apparently he's, you know, he's good in it.
Oh, sure. Yes, it's good. But it's. It's going
to be CGI blood and it's just not going to be any good. And it's.
But anyway, anyway, back to movie.
Yes, sorry, Tangent. There you go. Kevin, Bruce Lee, Brandon,
either Crow. We got there. We got back to horror in the end. Tell you
what, the beginning of this movie, though, someone throws a book on a fire and
then it's just a really long shot of a
fire which goes for ages with Goblin just playing.
I feel like this was a waste. I feel like this was
him saying to John Carpenter,
you want to show a pumpkin with the credits rolling?
I'll show a book burning on the fire. It's just a bit of a waste.
I'm like, oh, no. Can we not just cut to a montage or something?
Because this wasted on a shot of a book on
a fire. The goblin music's so good.
Straight into a montage. But no, but yeah, so this
book, Tenebrae, as I've mentioned, Tenebrae is italian for darkness.
And that's the book that's thrown on the fire. And we cut to Peter,
Neil, and he's cycling to the airport, to JFK
airport. I've been to that airport. I've been to that exact pickup. I generally am
cycling to the airport with my driver behind me. Yeah. He gets there,
he says, thank you very much, John. Take my bike and piss off. I'm gonna
go now to Rome. You're gonna be all sweaty when you get on the
plane. I thought that. But then you see him. He has
a shower. Must have a shower. Good lad.
Like I say, I've been to that airport. Not that it's that much of a
claim to fame, but I've been to that airport twice. Funny,
funny to see it. It looks exactly the same. I remember when
we got there and Alice was like, we're in America. And this
cabbie, this yellow cab driver was like, ma'am,
you're. He said, ma'am, you're in. I don't know how he said. He said something
really funny, but in cutting, typically New York. And she was
like, oh, I'm just a tourist.
The New York attitude. No,
it is a thing, though. I do feel the first time you ever
land in America, because I did it. First time I came out of an airport
and just saw a classic big
yellow taxi. Yeah. It was just
that sitting there and I was just like, oh, my God. I was like,
I'm on different ground. I'm on different concrete.
This is. Everything is like the movies. And this was before the Internet.
And there's like this in the nineties, late nineties. I was like, this is like
the movies. Oh, my God. Then the airport guy
had a gun to. And I was like, oh, my God, he's got a gun.
So good, isn't it? Yeah, it's fucking weird. I remember being in
a, like a wendy's or something at like, midnight after we'd been
drinking. And there was a cop in there having a coffee. And I was
staring at his gun. And he. And he put his hand on it and looked
at me and went, can I help you with something, sir? And I
went, oh, I'm really sorry. I'm just like, I've never seen an
armed policeman. You know, I'm from England. And he was
like, okay. And I could tell he was thinking.
They don't give a fuck. There's no
bullshitting, is there? American? Cause they keep serious
the whole time. Well, from what my experience,
he wasn't eating donuts. I was gutted. He was just having a coffee.
But that's a shame. But anyway,
back to this. So, yeah, he gets to the airport, and he's going on a
trip to Rome.
He gets there in the airport. Excuse me, Peter Neil, please come to
the desk. There's a phone call for you. So pier, Neil's novelist,
is quite famous. And he's got people that
work with him. He's got a little team and a
publicist, etc. Which is John Saxon. Do you
read? Sutter Kane, Pa. That goes with him. And there's a
young lad there who's, like, just a runner who's getting into
the game, it seems, and that's why he's there too.
So there's a little bit of an entourage. Yeah.
Yes. But before that, though, he gets a message that
there's a phone call at the desk at the airport. And it's
a tense call with his ex wife, Jane. You don't
hear what they said, what she says, but you hear his side of it.
And he's very, you know, like, listen, Jane,
we can talk about this, but I'm going on this trip now. This is a
big deal. I'm promoting this book, for God's sake. And there's a
woman spying on him. And then we see Jane, who'd made the call from
a phone box at the airport. So she's sort of. His ex wife is kind
of stalking him a little bit. And that comes to play in a moment.
But yes. Then we get to Rome. He's here.
Girl picks up Tenebrae in an apartment department store.
She steals it, doesn't she? And then
she gets caught. But it's all right though, cuz she gets. She just says,
do you want to go on a date with me? Well, I think it's more
than that. She says, come to my apartment. Here's my address. Yeah.
He's like, okay, cool. And then just takes the book as well.
What a sucker. She's hot.
I mean, I'd let her steal a book from my shop, if you know what
I'm saying. Oh, come on. Everyone's hot in this. Even John
Saxon in his heart. You think everyone's hot. And you like,
I do. That's me. If it's got bears and sharks and even
more so. But yeah, so someone who's
watching her in the shop, we should say. And that'll be the person that doesn't
like this book. Because it's full of deviants and sex
and murder. But we'll come,
come back to that. Yeah, because it is the cello book, isn't it? Got a
really touchy up tramp.
Homeless fella. Yeah. She gets on the back of a bike
and she gets dropped off home.
And this guy comes through the fence like a zombie
from night of the living dead or something. He's like.
And she's like, get off me. Get off me. And then she runs away from
him and he chases her a little bit. She batters
him, doesn't she? She kicks him, batters him and runs
away from him. She slams his fingers in the gate of her
apartment block. And he's like, you almost
expect him to get chopped off. It's so full. He must
be on meth. So full on. And then, yeah, she runs
inside and some glove hands grab her
straight away. Yeah, yeah. But basically the glove killer is there.
And force feeds her some pages of Tenebrae.
They're shoved into her mouth. And just when you think that's bad
enough. No sing a razor slashes
her throat open. But the thing is,
at this point here, it does make you think.
It has to be the novelist himself. Because they were like. But we know
it can't because at the airport. But it's like, what's the motivation of.
Of this? Then your motive is what? Because you were shoplifting?
Maybe it was a security guard, you know, because.
So the person, the first killer we find out
is very deeply religious. Christian hates all forms
of deviance, sexualization,
you know, the depiction of gore, anything against women,
all that kind of stuff. So. And on top of that, she was stealing
this book full of filth.
So she's a criminal. Stealing filth. Yeah,
the book. We may so spoil it anyway because someone else at
the moment, obviously, but maybe they're kind of like they're so in love with
the novelist that they're actually gonna. You still one of his books,
right? I'm on his army. I will fight for his cause.
No, no, no. They're against him. It's a weird
one to choose to. So they want to kill people to send him a message,
because with every kill, there's a letter that he receives. It's got quote from his.
But this kind of relates to, you know,
you know, some of those. Whatever that's just
happened to the person that he's killed. You know, this. This poor lady, though,
even if this didn't happen, and this guy there wasn't. Killer wasn't even
there, and she just got home. The homeless guy still gets
over the gate to her house and still going for her,
but obviously the killer gets. And he watches.
Cut to John Saxon.
Always love saying that. Cut to John Saxon. There is.
There's something really happy.
There's some Acton people in the world, ladies,
men that you
like seeing when they pop up. John Saxon's one where
you go, take my shoes
off now put my legs up. John Saxon. I know,
it's just so comforting, you know, when he shows up in the
night, when Elm street films or anything, he's in. I don't know,
it's almost like whenever it come up before John Saxon's
in it, almost like he's like some A lister.
Because he's not really. No, but it's
John Saxon. And if I saw him, I'd be so intimidated by him.
I'd be, oh, my God. Hey. And he'd be all smiling at,
oh, my God. It's funny going back to the A Team,
which has been shown on one of the channels here in the UK, and he
played the baddie in one of the seasons of the A Team, you know,
one of the colonels, I believe, or something, chasing them down for
a few episodes. It's pretty decent. I forgot he
passed away, didn't he? Four years ago. He did, yeah. Bless him.
So, yeah, it's still nice to see him. And he does, but he.
He's there meeting his friend Peter, who's also.
He's his 197 films.
So John Saxon is Peter Neal's agent, but they're friends as well.
And he says, you know, you've got an interview to give.
Let's go. Let's go to a bar very, very. Quickly with John Saxon,
also in Mario Barber film. He was, yeah.
So it's quite nice that he's done these italian
films and it was a thing to do at times when
you're in America, like Clint Eastwood, is that the same? Go over
to Italy or Spain or wherever and do a european
film. It's very, very common thing for american actors to
do. And because they thought this film Tenebrae would do well, they actually filmed it
in the. In English and then they dubbed it
into Italian for Italy. So Italy, even though the film was made in Italy,
they dubbed it over for Italy. I bet Italians were like,
what is this? But, yeah. So they
go off and a woman shows up
who says, you know, can I ask you something? Are you sexist? You know,
why are you. Why did you write these books? And it turns
out he's a giallo writer and he's basically, basically doing what Argento is
out to do throughout his career and defend why he does what he does,
the way he writes, his art and all that kind of stuff.
And then it's a bit tense, but that's kind of the end of
that, really. And then he says to John Sykes, why are you wearing that
hat? And he's like, this hat? He's like, doesn't it come off your head
when you sort of move around? He's like, watch this. And he does this weird.
I wonder, what's the choice of this? Was it in
the scripts? Did the director say it? Did John Saxon go, let me have one
for you. I believe John did this and Argento just left it in.
So John Saxon just rotates his head
in 360 mana over and over, but really widely
because you can tell, because. Peter Neil is the guy
he's the agent for. Looks at him like almost laughing and he just walks
off. It does look like Saint Laurent Hardy,
you know, it's quite comical. But, yeah, he's got the number
one book in the world of Abbot Castello. More Alan Costello.
He's like Satter Caine. He's got the number one book at the moment. And that's
why he's promoting. He's gone to Rome to promote Tenebrae and they go to
meet Anne, who is his secretary, by the way. We had an
interviewer saying that his book was sexist. Yeah, just mention that.
But that's fine.
It's fine. Everyone's used to it by now.
So Ann is his secretary and there is a little bit of a sexual
chemistry between them. But other than one scene,
nothing much happens. They've been working together for years. And then she
says, oh, by the way, this is Johnny. And Johnny's like,
hello, I'm a big fan. And he's like, oh great, well,
Johnny's going to be doing stuff for me. And he's like, well, I'm glad you're
here, Johnny, because all of my fucking luggage has been
ruined. So I need you to go off around it Rome, and buy me new
pants, a new typewriter, a new watch. So Pearl, Johnny gets to do
all this shit jobs, but he's had prisoners. It turned out be like,
what have they got me? Oh, it'd be like
me and you sort of having to run around for John Carpenter.
And he's like, I need a new. I don't want to run around finding John
Carpenter pants. I do. I don't. You just
be buying him cigarettes. What sort of pants do
you want? I like to wear a tango brief.
I like my bud cheeks out. All right,
John. Okay. But yeah, so all of his stuff has
been messed up. Somebody sabotaged his luggage while
he was at the airport. There's dye all over it, his watch is broken
and everything. You know, he's typewriter, so he's fucked. He hasn't got any pants,
he hasn't got any typewriter and he can't tell the time.
Cut back to the hotel.
And here we go. We got an italian homicide detective.
Another tick on the box. The Jello movies.
And he says, I need to speak to Mister Peter Neal.
I love crossed your arms like you had actually gave to
fucking quiz me. And you think I'm the killer? He says,
someone was killed, a girl. There are four wounds to her
body. She's pretty sliced up. And some pages from
your book Tenebrae were stuffed into her mouth.
Any connection to you? And he's like, well no, I've been on a plane.
I've only just arrived here like literally an hour ago.
And he said, well the other funny thing is the murders of it was similar
to the murder that's in your book and
trump trump card here, there's a letter for you here. I'd like you to open
it right now, please. He's like, fucking hell, I'm jet lagged.
I've just got here. So he opens the letter and there's
a quote from his book that someone's stuck in on a bit of paper
and it relates to sort of death and murder and stuff. And he just says
to him, okay, well, you need to stay in touch with us because I've got
a feeling this is only the first one this
italian detective knows. He says, I've dealt with this shit before.
And he says, oh, before you go, mister detective, one other thing, actually, there is
something weird. Somebody sabotaged my luggage. Look at my pants.
Everybody look at my pants. He says, okay,
that's weird. And then the phone rings. American listeners
is it is probably not as funny for you guys because we obviously pants
and it makes sense. Underpants, which would be the thing you wear under
your pants. That's why they called under pants. Make sense. We just call them pants.
Obviously. You guys would call them slacks or trousers.
Yeah, or jeans or whatever you want.
But. So for us, when we say pants, it's really funny because
we're visualizing someone in actually in their underpants.
Yeah. In their briefs, you know? So you got to go along with us in
our mind frame when we say pants. Just over there.
So he shows him his underwear and then he gets a
phone call, a scary phone call that
says, yeah, you like that? Da da da da. And it's basically a threatening
phone call. So the cops think, oh, it's coming from the phone box outside.
Maybe they run out. There's no one there, of course. And that's kinda of the
end of that scene. So the story, the scene
has been set. He's arrived in Rome, he's already had his stuff sabotaged,
someone's already died, and it's all linked to him. And he's got the
cops hot on his heels. I have no
boobs, though. Not yet. Not 19
seconds in this time. No, no, not torso.
No. We do get the first of many
insert shots of somebody drinking water and taking tablets.
It's never really revealed what this is related to, but that's
a classic Jello. Lynn, really, isn't it? Odd scenes just thrown in.
You might as well just have a fish on the floor moving around and then
that's it. What's that got to do with it? Nothing. It's literally a red herring.
It's got nothing to do with it. Then we cut to a sexy
girl. I've got a sexy arcade with nipples, lady.
Well, I'm talking about the girl in the wish,
but no, I'm. First of all, we get a sexy girl on the beach.
Oh, the. Oh, yes, the lady. This is actually not a girl.
This is a man. Is it? It's transgender.
Fake breasts. Yeah. Okay. Still incredibly sexy,
though. It's a really weird scene. It seems like it's
a lady that wants men to
all have sex. Well, it starts off with.
Starts off with a woman and two boys,
two young men. He's coughing. She's got these two
boys. She goes over to the beach,
lies down and two, the two guys come over to her and then a third
comes over and then a fourth comes over and she's basically said,
I want all four of you in me. She's on her knees and
it's input implying that she's gonna just go on a suck off.
Yeah, four. Four.
Lunch. I wanna suck off on the beach. I've only got three holes,
so one of you can have to wait on the side. Yeah. But this other
one comes up and just slaps her. Yeah.
She sends her sucker suckies
to. To go and take him out. Yeah. And that is the killer.
This is the killer's flashback. So he had this.
So the killer had this weird
sexual experience where he was almost in a four on
one situation, but because he slapped her, she then
got him beaten up and humiliated, she kicked him in the balls and she shoved
her red stiletto heel in his mouth. And that did
something to his brain where he hates women. Women and wants
to go killing everyone. Yeah, it's a weird one.
Yeah, it is. So there we go. Cut to
the bar, Tilda. Is this a sexy arcade?
Yeah. So Tilda is in like an arcade with her
friend who's actually a lesbian lover, but her lesbian lover
has picked up a man and she says, you don't
mind if I bring a man back tonight? I won't be long. I'll probably just
be an hour. So if you can just wait here an hour and then come
home later. Now then, lesbian lovers. Like, I'd be pretty annoyed if my
hot lesbian lover was taking a man back. You know,
it might be the other sex, but it's still cheating.
She gives her a kiss on the mouth to let the
audience know that there's definitely more than just roommates here.
And takes off this man and then leaving this crazy moustache
man to sit next to her and go, well, if you've got an hour to
kill, I'll sit next to you and talk to you for an hour.
Do you like my mustache? Something about
the mustache. Gav, only a few
men can rock a moustache. Oh, yeah, Joc Norris,
Tom Selleck, a couple of others. Tom Atkins. I've got a buddy who's got a
moustache moment. He's also bought himself some clear glasses. It's quite hipster
in a way. He moved to Bristol. He's been living in Bristol for four years
now. He's got a moustache, but it's
actually looking all right. I remember having a giant mustache
when I. When I filmed the shadow of death with you.
And I
had to keep it for three weeks because
we did like two weekends in a row. And then I think there was a
third weekend. I had to go back for something. But either way, I had
just started becoming a trainer at my job, training up
the new employees, which was like a two day
thing where I take eight people into a room, tell them all about the company.
And the first time I had to do it, my boss said, are you gonna
do it with that mustache? And I was like, well, I've got to keep it
for next week because I'm going back filming next weekend. So they must have thought,
who the fuck is this guy with a
giant Chuck Norris moustache? It is a
big trucker mustache that I grew as well.
They were in office space or something. It was weird.
It was weird. But anyway, enough about that. I wish
I'd been there because I imagine not two of them just look
at each other, looking back at you.
Peter and Anne. So Peter and his secretary Anne
have a nightcap and a chat, but nothing more comes of that.
And Tilda gets home. Her roommate is upstairs.
She's had sex. She's basically wearing just a sheet draped over one
boob. And she's going, he was wonderful. He was
brilliant. And really winding up in a drunken,
horrible manner. Her lesbian lover basically saying, I've just
had sex with this guy who's brilliant. Why are you cross? Or,
come upstairs. We can have sex too. And she's like, oh, you're really
annoying me. Shut up. And we
get our crane shot, two and a half minute
crane shot of a
wall and the roof. It goes
through different windows. It's showing what's going on through the house, but there is lots
of wall. Technically is an incredible
crane shot. It is very adventurous for the time and
something which probably took a while and obviously likes movements of certain
things. His crane is going to be a bit jolty at times and stuff.
Yeah, it was the first time I ever saw it. I really loved it this
time, seeing it. I don't know, maybe my life is
realizing that I don't have so much time in life. So you look at things
a bit more and be like, it's taken a little while. Come on. Apparently the
reason for it is to show the vulnerability of these two girls
in the house on their own and that there's, you know, the roof that someone
could be scaling the wall and all that kind of stuff. And I
guess the thing to admire about it is the fact
that they had to get all
the timing right for the girls to come to the windows and all that stuff.
Now I actually think there was a slightly better crane shot in opera.
Argento's opera going downwards.
Yeah, I really like that's very technical shot.
Yeah. Operas later on though. This is like still
pretty decent. Yeah. So we see Tilda hears
some whispers from outside and she puts a white, or starts
to put a white shirt on, doesn't she, Gav?
And this is that famous poster. No. Or the
front cover for it as well. As she pulls it down, someone slashes
at the white shirt revealing her face peeping through the hole in it.
And she gets killed.
Dead, dead, dead, dead ski.
Now her roommate hears the crash of this so
she thinks, oh, something's happened here, I better go and see if she's alright.
And while that's happening, somebody smashes the light bulb and it all goes dark.
Yes. So this lady comes out, large bosomed.
Lady, and she gets killed and her head goes straight through a
window. Another Argento to tick off the list. Head for a window.
That's great. And yeah, that's,
that's the kind of the end of that scene really. We cut back to our
novelist and he's getting a bit of a helping hand with his plumbing from a
young lady he kind of flirts with
a bit and it's like she's a little bit young for you.
Before that, we do see someone developing pictures of the murder scenes because
someone took some pictures and we see someone in a dark room developing pictures.
So we know that the killer is also documenting their work as
well. But yes, so the young lady is
the hotel owner's daughter and he says,
oh, Peter Neil, the famous novelist is having trouble with
his hot water. Will you go up and switch his hot water on please?
So yeah, she goes up and fixes his pipes for him as they say.
Gets those pipes going again. And as she leaves
Anne comes in, the secretary and she's like, you're quick.
And he's like, no, she was just helping me with my pipes. And he's
like, she's like yeah, I bet she was. But she's like 16 or I
something, isn't she? Yeah, she looked quite young. And he's, he's what,
late fifties? Yeah, mid mid to late fifties.
Yeah. So, yeah, there we go.
But there's another letter to Peter that pops up in the hotel.
Because someone is outside his hotel room sneaking around. We get the pov, and then
he gets a letter with another quote in it.
So cut to the autopsy of these
bodies. The detective arrives there, and the guy says to him,
yep, same razor as the last murder. I can
tell you that now. The same killer that's killed all these people so far.
So he's like, great. Thanks for that. I'll go and phone Peter.
So he phones Peter and tells him, you know, there's been
another murder. So John Saxon says,
well, m and Peter say, well, we've got to go because we got a tv
interview. Spoiler alert.
The tv interview man is the killer.
Okay? So bear that in mind, people and me. Thank you,
Dan. So they go and meet him, and he says, well,
before we interview, I always like to sort of prep. And he says,
you know, I think these books are deviant. I think this. I think that.
And this is why he does the killing. Because he had that weird sexual
experience and now hates all things that are to do with, like, sex and
perversion and all that kind of stuff.
But he goes and has the tv interview anyway. All about Tenebrae
in the book. And John
Saxon almost loses his hat. But he says, where you my hat? Because it
gets put on a trolley. And someone goes to walk away with it. But he
gets it back. So it's good. You can't start wondering, is this hat gonna become
like. I'm gonna say, as the
actor he is. I reckon he was just gonna.
He probably bought that hat that day. So I'm well into this hat.
Rather than if I can bring this hat in. Has something to do with my
character. Yeah. Well, the detective
arrives and says to Peter and John Saxon,
it feels like these killings are a tribute to you.
Which is weird. It's like someone's trying to honor you. Either that
or you're in danger. So either way,
please, you know, stay in contact with us. And when
they leave, Peter Neale says, I wonder if it's somebody
I know. Johnny says, I'm going to go
out on a date with that girl that fixed your plumbing
earlier. Peter looks outside and says,
I think I've just seen Jane, my ex wife. What would she be doing in
Rome? So they call her in New York,
and it goes to answer phone. And they're like, well, she wasn't. She's not at
home, maybe. Is it her? I don't know. So again,
all these red herrings getting thrown in. Anne goes outside and
gets in her car, someone with gloves. Then we see them looking
at photos and then they leave, they get their razor and
off they go to work. And we then cut to some sex
workers and a gloved man approaches
them. Yep, that's what we kind of see of that,
really. So we're cutting all over the place here. But then
the young lady's finished her date. Yeah.
And a bit of an argument ensues. Yeah. And she
walks off and a great big Doberman. This is nasty,
this scene. And he loves dogs. This is another
Argento tick, isn't it, really? He loves dogs attacking people.
The blind fella. Oh, that poor guy.
His own dog ate his face. But this
big Doberman starts barking at the girl and she actually
antagonizes it a bit by kicking the fence and saying,
fuck off, you know, leave me alone. Well, the dog then fucking comes around the
other side of the fence.
Used to be, like, trained for doing this stuff. So goes. Runs off the fence,
turns around, because obviously a train there say, okay, turn around now, go jump the
fence. What have you said? Doman just jumps up over
a at. Least nine foot fence and
it goes for her. And she
chased through the park because. Did you hear recently,
I forgot to say this. I forgot about this on
recent. I was Manchester, it was a wild
pack of dogs and they'd killed someone.
Did you hear about this? Yeah, I did.
Then the dogs were still on the. They were still looking for this dog.
So they'd actually go in the back garden or someone killed someone and carried
on. So it was there. It was their owner's brother.
Right? So it was the brother of the dog's
owner and, yeah, they'd attacked him and run off.
So they were looking for them. I think they found them and put them down.
But there was a couple of dog killings this week in the UK.
Another Xl bully killed its owner as well.
Those XL bullies are not getting a good rap, are they?
So, yeah, this. This dog savages her in the park. She manages to get away.
It's not a very good name, though, is XL bully. Straight away goes,
XL is in extra large. And a extra large bully.
That's not a good name for dog. It sounds like a rapper.
It does. It doesn't sound like a thing
you. Want to feed, you know, like Eminem featuring XL bully.
Yeah. Yeah. DMX probably would have teamed up
with him because he loved dogs, didn't he, DMX? Letters, rest in peace,
lots of letters. NWA DMX
and XL bully. There we go.
So, yeah, the dog, she fights her dog off a bit. She runs away,
but it keeps coming after her. And she climbs into a
garden. Little does she know this is the killer's garden.
She's actually really good at running and jumping.
Yes, really good. So, well, that's pretty good. It looks like
it's actually the actress as well. Argento does a couple of little
upskirt shots as she jumps over the fence. We'll say less about
that, but that's fine. But, yeah, this one,
I'm gonna paint the lady in a strong light as she
jumps these high fences. Chests by the dog. But I'm also
gonna film her panties.
You know, at least she's wearing
them, to be honest. But, yeah, this scene keeps
going. She jumps into what we figure out is the
killer is gonna garden. And because
we recognize the pool from earlier when the killer was leaving to go to work,
I say work, hacking people up. The dog attacks her
again. So she manages to find a door, a weird
little door, and she turns the key and gets in there.
She goes down some steps into what can only be a sex dungeon.
Let's be honest, it doesn't look great down there. Anyone here?
Hello? The dog jumps up at one of the windows he's still trying
to get. He is furious, that dog. He wants to eat her.
And she finds something you don't want to find in a basement.
Photos of dead girls, newspaper cuttings,
books being cut up, pages everywhere.
This isn't good. I'm in someone's bad
spacement here. Where was she originally when she was just on
a date, and then she just took the wrong. So the
killer, who's in the house for spoiler, we're getting
to that. The killer knew somehow.
I'm gonna go to my lair, which is over there. And somehow she just.
The only place she finds for Doberman Chase. Then she finds the killers.
Leia. Now it tracks because later, when Peter Neal's looking at a
map with Johnny and Ann, he says, well, the tv
guy only lives two blocks from here,
so he does live really close to the hotel they're staying at.
Why does. Cause we now see, like, there's a gloved killer in there.
But why did it whisper spy? What's going on with that?
Because she's broken into his house. She's taken all the evidence,
shoves it in her pockets.
She tries to use the phone. Yeah,
and she sees someone in the shadows, and you hear spy.
Spyde. And it's because she's spying on him, you know. And so
she shuts his hand in the door, she runs outside, he drops his razor,
he picks up instead. He thinks, oh, grab this axe actually, then.
And she gets an axe straight to the stomach. As you do.
As you do. And it's the morning and we
get a lawnmower. POV got a real inept gardener with lawnmower.
It's just like not cutting at all properly. If gardener
is. Sack them. They're doing an awful job. Anyway, the camera
is just looking down from the point of view of the gardener,
randomly enough going along. And then we discover a body.
Yeah, we see the pages and the photos that were in her pocket and then
you see her body on the floor. So that's
the next body found. And Peter has to meet up with the detective again and
tells him, you know, I've got another letter. And he looks at the quote
of the quote, basically insinuates, you're going to be one of the next
ones. You're corrupted.
So Johnny, Anne and Peter have a brainstorm and this is where
they pull out a big map and he says, oh, I think he only lives
two blocks away, like a mind map. And he says, I'm not
going to tell the detective any of the things I know. I'm going to solve
this myself. Imagine me, the novelist,
solving the crime. Wonderful. This is obviously where he's
decided. But this is obviously where he's decided.
I'm gonna go and kill the killer so
I can then kill John Saxon and my ex wife who
are having an affair. Spoiler alert. Is he then going like, well, in that
case, I don't really like Jane. I'm gonna kill Jane too.
And John Saxon's gonna get it.
I'm not really. I don't like paying her that much. Much. So fuck
it, I'll kill her as well. Maybe. Maybe he would have just
carried on going, but don't know that at this point. We just think he wants
to solve the case for the glory, which is fine. You know,
he's, he's a novelist and it all looked be good for checking. It would have
spread to like the milkman. Given in the wrong change again.
You're now my fucking list. Depends which milkman. If it was the milton
from torso. Have you ever said that someone. Now you're on my list.
You're on my list, mate. Oh, that would be. It isn't nice,
because when that happens. What list? Now what movie is that? Someone says
it, Baxter. And they call me. You're on my list. He goes, what list?
No, no, I'm not an actual proper list. I can't
remember what it's from. Don't know, but it doesn't ring a bell.
Peter says to Johnny, let's go for a drive. So they
go out at nighttime for a drive, leaving Anne on her own, who sees Jane
outside? His ex wife. What's she doing in Rome? She drives off.
So Anne goes back inside and tries to ring Jane again. Her New
York number is just dialing, going to the answer phone. So she's now
convinced Peter did see Jane. She probably is in Rome.
His ex wife is stalking him. Cut back
to Johnny and Peter, the weird batman and Robin duo.
They climb into the garden of the killer. Well, it's the interviewer,
tv interviewer's garden. But we know it's the killer, having watched this film.
And they do see someone burning evidence. They smash up a razor blade,
and they're burning lots of photos. And we see the silhouette of somebody in
the house. And he says, the guy's at home. He's at home.
His lights are on. Let's go in. And then we get an axe to
the head. Axe yourself.
Yeah. And Johnny sees it. Johnny sees the tv man killed.
So we think the killer has now killed the tv man, but actually it's
Peter that's killed him at this point. Now. So this is where Peter takes over
as the killer.
He goes back outside Johnny, and he finds Peter suspiciously
unconscious, with a wound to the back of the head that he says, isn't that
serious? He doesn't want to go to the doctor about. Well, that's because he probably
did it to himself to cover his tracks.
He starts to bang himself in the head with rock. Yeah,
pretty decent. They run off. Johnny's in
shock, and he says, all I can tell you
is the tv guide seemed to recognize
the killer because he only saw him. He didn't see
the killer. He saw him die. Well, let's not tell the police
yet. And Ann says, look, I want to go back to
New York. I've had enough of all of this.
She says, maybe we should all stay together tonight. Can I. Can we stay in
your room? Is that all right? Peter's like,
hell, yeah, you can stay in my room tonight. Um.
I gotta think where I am of this. Have we. We've had the kid who's
gone around the back, found the.
Found the killer and the novelist and dent in his head, all the stuff.
Yeah, yeah. And then we back to the beach with the woman had flashback.
Uh, we're not quite to that bit yet. Okay,
but we can just jump straight to that. And then it's John Saxon, basically.
Anne and Peter kiss, and they end up
having sex that night. They're like, basically, this has been a long time coming.
But then, yes, we get another flashback to the woman from the
beach now at, like, some kind of pool party.
And someone's in the bushes. They just come out of the bush, and they just
stab her in the gut a couple of times. Yeah. So again, this.
This childhood trauma. Ann wakes
up, and Peter's not there.
Bastard. And he's at John Saxon's apartment, at his office.
He says, look, I think I want to leave Rome. My life's in danger.
And John says, no, no, no, stay, stay. What we'll do is we'll tell the
press that you've gone back to New York and then all go crazy.
And then you can stay here, stay in the hotel,
stay inside, and then we'll, you know, we'll reveal that, actually. Okay, you're still here.
And it'll be great press for the book, please. So he leaves,
and John Saxon has got Peter's
ex wife Jane, in a secret little doorway in his
room. And they're having a dirty little affair.
Yeah, yeah, that's right. The buxom lady.
Yes, he kisses her. Yeah. So the lady from the airport, the lady
that damaged his bag with all the stuff. His ex wife. And she
says, I feel so dirty. No. Knowing he's just outside the room
doesn't stop her from kissing John Saxon, though. And who wouldn't want to kiss John
Saxon? I love the fact she doesn't. Doesn't love her fella
enough to not have. Not to do that, but more that
it's fun because he's there. Well, I think
at this point, they're broken up. Oh, okay.
But why would John Saxon do that as well? Don't know.
Maybe. Maybe he's had the eye on her for a little while. Sorry for that
noise, listeners. Bill, smart saying.
Johnny and Peter decide they should go back to the house
where the crime happened with the axe in the tv man's head. Happened.
Yeah, because it's obviously quite a shocking thing for them to
see, say this and see.
Can they get any more evidence from it. It was quite an interesting thing,
that whole scene of them just turning up there and just. I love
the fact that he's just like, jumps over and this kid's like, I'm just gonna
follow. What? You're just gonna go to the breaking?
It's just gonna break into a house, actually. He says,
I haven't broken into someone's garden so since I was six years old.
Yeah. And you both are now doing it and then obviously seeing the killer and
stuff like that. Well, um, Johnny freaks out a
bit and almost crashes. So Peter says, let you go home.
Kids, like traumatized from the other evening still.
So that she's trying to drive down the road and he's like, whoa.
Causes a bit of a crash. So he says, right, you go, he. Leaves the
crash, just makes a crash by them and carry on. So the guy's like,
oh, okay. Italian. Well, it's something about italian jello. The same happened
in torso. Someone hit the back of him and he's like, fuck off. I've got
work to do. See you later. Yeah, don't worry about it.
So Peter walks on his own to the scene
of the crime and the detective says it was the same killer,
we think, but different weapon this time. Used an axe,
not a straight razor. It's a bit weird. And Peter's like,
I wonder who it could have been.
The detective finds a file on Peter that this tv
interviewer had on him. He said he was obsessed with you. He knows where
you were born, where you went to school, all the books you've written.
It's really weird. And we should,
we should probably add in that the detective at this point is a huge
giallo fan. He loves his crime, he reads all
the books. So he's like, he's trying to figure out as
well, you know, all the way through it, like, which is how he gets tricked
at the end, really. Almost like he was out written by
the writer, which is quite clever. And that's why I love this film.
It's so cleverly written. And actually
at this point, Peter quotes show Sherlock Holmes to him.
He says, once you've eliminated all of the possibilities,
the impossible is the only solution. And he says,
oh, that's from the hand of the Baskervilles. And he says, it is. We're covering
that soon. They are covering that soon. So it's really
cool that they've got a bit of Sherlock Holmes in there as well. So again,
Argento wanted to throw these little elements in there because these are
writers that he loves. And this is a film about
writing. In Giallo, John Saxon says
to Jane Wright, here's some new red shoes. So she's
got some sexy new red shoes, which is only going to antagonize the
killer who hates women in red. Shoes like a bullet
in a china shop. And he's waiting
to meet his lover. He's waiting on the street,
waiting, waiting to. As this John Saxon, he's on the. Road waiting,
sees a couple arguing. It's really interesting, this scene. It really
just. It just stops for the moment and it's just John Saxon
looking around at everyday life, doing a bit of people watching.
Argento said this scene is his tribute to
Hitchcock. He wanted it to be very hitchcocky.
Yeah, I completely see that. Because you can imagine Cary Grant
doing a same. Yeah. In the hat, you know, maybe that's
why he got the hat, you know, Cary Grant and that kind of thing.
Very true. Yeah.
And he's waiting and waiting. He thinks he's been stood up. And then all
of a sudden someone approaches him. We see the pov and he looks at them,
oh, it's you. And then he gets knifed in the gut.
Turns into a day on the London street. Oh, don't.
He gets knifed pretty badly. He dies and
we see some red shoes walking away. And that's John
Saxon killed off. Can you believe it?
Yeah. Where was this kung fu?
Peter gets a call and he says to ant,
just tell him I'm not in. And he says to Johnny, right, I'm going
now. I'm gonna miss you, Johnny. Thanks for your help. And he says, oh,
I'd really like to work with you again in future. Even though you know,
we witnessed a murder. If you ever come back to Rome, hit me up,
I'll run around buying you as many pairs of underwear as you want.
Johnny then thinks there's a piece of the puzzle missing. I've got to
go back to the garden, you know, where I've experienced
trauma and see this crime scene again.
Wouldn't it be taped up?
Have the police not even been there? Is the body still there?
Body's gone, yeah. So it's been taped. It's a crime scene.
You'd think it had been been boarded up. And, you know.
But he goes back there and he sort of, you know, like when you go
in a room and you forgot what you went in for, so you go back
out. When you come back in, you usually remember. He does that because he
saw the tv guy saying something to the killer, but he can't quite
remember what it was. So he goes back there and this time he remembers what
the tv presenter said. He said, I killed them all.
It was me. So he suddenly thinks it
was him that was the killer. So who on earth killed the killer?
Yeah. He gets in his car and
you know what's gonna happen if you're in a jello movie and it's raining and
it's nighttime. You get in your car strangled from the back.
Yep. Someone's coming up behind you with a piece of string and he gets
raining thunder. And it just. It's just nice. It's almost
classic derogen. It. There's a lot of thundery reigns killing
scenes. Yeah. Anne gets a call from
Jane. Finally.
She says, I know you're in Rome. She says, I am, and I've done something.
I've done something. You need to come over. Anne, will you come over? She's acting
crazy. She's sort of giggling to herself. And we have
seen a killer very quickly take an axe hidden in a tree.
He did. So it's a murder weapon. He obviously hid and the
cops didn't do a very good job looking around the grounds for the
murder weapon. We see a female detective at the police station
interviewing people. And she talks to our main detective about,
you know, how's the trial going? How's the
case going? We've got some more clues, we've got some more information.
And she goes off to do something and we'll see her again
in a minute. Jane, in her red
shoes waits for Anne. So a little red herring here.
Literally with red shoes. And she's holding a gun.
She's waiting for Anne to arrive. What's she going to do? Is she going to
kill herself? Is she going to kill Anne? We don't know.
And suddenly she hears something outside
the window blows open. She sits back down
and then an axe comes through the window and chops off her hand.
This is Tarantino's favorite on screen kill of all time.
Weirdly. Yeah. But he loves the arterial spray of her stump
as it sprays at the wall like piece of art.
And I agree and probably mimicked that in a
little bit. In Kill Bill. I wanted to do it in shadow death, and we
couldn't do it as good. It's such a great splash
of red, you know, and they use that really deep red, if you pardon the
pun, which is another Argento movie. They use
that real color of deep red, like the hammer horror films.
We cut to flashback of the beach woman.
Yes. Well, we do see a shadow of someone
chopping up the body, but yes. Then it's a flashback and
it shows. Red shoes and she's stabbed up as well.
Yeah. So sort of getting revenge on her.
Then the cop, the female cop arrives at Jane's.
She walks in and we get a reveal
from the feet up of who the killer is it's Peter.
Yeah. And he kills this detective, this female detective
chops her up. And then the male detective, the main
detective, arrives and he is caught red
handed at this point. Yeah, he's not getting out of this.
He's got two bodies. One of
them is his colleague. And Peter
sort of says, it's like writing a book. I can just get
away with it and make it up as I go along. And he's sort of
losing his mind a little bit and basically reveals
that he knew all along about John Saxon having an affair with Jane.
And he basically used the killer to
be able to get revenge on John Saxon and
Jane and so killed them.
Yep. A detective walks
towards him and he pulls out a fake razor. We don't know it
at the time, but a fake prop razor. And Peter goes and slits his
own throat. It looks fantastic, actually. Yeah. Yeah, it does
really, quite. Oof. That's quite gruesome. So the detective
and Anne leave and they go in,
sit in the car and he radios in and says, you know, it's all finished.
We know the killer was the bodies and all the bodies are in there.
Then he goes back in the house and because, like I said, he's been a
reader of all these, these novels,
he loves trying to figure out, you know, the killer and the writer
has outwitted him because he faked his death. It was a prop razor.
He finds it on the floor with a button on it.
You press that, squirts fake blood out. And he's gone and he's
not there. It's almost a scream moment, really, isn't it?
He bends down to pick something up and
we get a shot that we used in shadow of death or
try to accomplish in shadow of death where the killer has stood behind
the person. Remember, I bent down as my character to pick up the
walkie talkie and the killer was behind me. He's exactly shot for shot
that. But I didn't. I don't think we accomplished it as
well as this, but okay, cool. This is Argento. And when
he stands back up, Peter axes him,
kills him. And they sort of, during the struggle,
they knock over this really big, spiky metal sculpture
full of horrible sharp bits which goes up against
the door and hears all the crashing from outside. She goes
back in, kicks the door open just as Peter's running towards her.
And he gets impaled by a piece of art. So he was killed by art
in the end. And it kills Peter. He's dead.
And she just screams and screams for quite a long time in
the rain and the lightning and then we get the score kick in
as she's sort of fades out of her screams.
Going to goblin. Yeah. Apparently she was only going to do a little scream,
but she decided she'd go for it. And Argento was
quite shocked. But he left in the really long scream because he quite liked.
Because he said, if something shocks me, I'd like to leave it in.
And that's the end. Yeah. Of Tenebrae.
Kind of powered through that one, really. But it is a very, very fast
paced film. It's an hour and 40, but it doesn't feel like it. No,
it is an enjoyable movie. It has everything you want. It's got the mysteries of
twists. John Saxon with his hat, you know.
And it can be confusing the first couple of times you watch it
because. Yeah, I was a little bit confused. And even when you
go back, like you and Sarah, you mentioned, you go back knowing that Peter Neil
is the killer, but then you're like, well, how could he be the killer?
But then you forget there's another killer, which is good. Which is good. So I
enjoyed it. It was nice going through it with you here. It's actually cleared
it fairly simply in my mind now. It's not too bad at all.
It's a masterpiece in Jallo and it's one
of Argento's best films. You know, he does two films. Films. He does Jello
movies and he does horror and this is probably
his best Jello movie. We didn't give a thumbs up to torso.
It's probably both of us giving it a thumbs up for both films
and a thumbs up for Tenebrae. Fantastic two. Thank you for the choices there.
Yeah, kev, thank you so much. Our bearded brother from across
the pond. Crown off, though, aren't we? But we
are, yeah. Let me just remove that before we go tomorrow. Sorry,
Kev. Give it back. There we go. Pop it in the box.
Ready for the next one in a couple of episodes of time. But, yes.
Hope we did those films justice for you. Absolutely love talking
Jallow and those two movies. But now it's time for us to take
a wee break before we say our goodbyes.
Indeed. Be back real soon.
And we're back. And we're back to say goodbye.
Happy to. Sayonara.
Goodbye. Arrived,
as they say in Italy. Fantastic.
Always love chatting. Cello with you, mate. And it's fun.
I love that the patrons pick these movies, you know, Tenebrae is something we should
have covered in ten years and we haven't yet. But now we have so
many good. Movies we still haven't covered. I know, I know. Why?
Well, talking of such things, let's get on to next.
Next. So the next episode. Episode 163. We're finishing up
the final Destination franchise. We'll be covering number three,
number four and number five. So we'll be doing a triple bill for you.
Yeah, we can't, like, do extended reviews of those. No, but we'll still.
We'll talk about the deaths and, you know, that kind of thing. That's what.
That's what. They're there. You're there for those. I'll do loose reviews of them,
then loosen up. Yeah, it'll be good. So, yeah, that's what we'll
be talking about with, though, in the next episode after that.
Episode 164. You mentioned it earlier, we're doing another director
special. As it's our 10th year, we're trying to do as many director specials and
we're doing a Terrence Fisher special. Terrence? Mister Hammer horror
himself. Yes. You might not know him, his work, if you
don't really, you know, look back on the hammer films. Like us, we do love
them. I'm a massive hammer fan and we've.
Each picked a Terrence Fisher movie, and they, weirdly,
both have beasts of the title.
So Gav's picked 1950 nine's, Hound of the Baskervilles,
Sherlock Holmes. Yeah. And I've
picked Oliver Reed, 1961,
curse of the werewolf. Oh,
good. Werewolf movies. Well, so that's that. And that will take us
up really getting us ready for Halloween. Although before our Halloween special,
there will be another pig.
Pig. And I can now reveal what that will be.
So Holly is going to be on our next patron in a
few episodes of time. She has selected, very carefully,
two irish horror comedies.
I don't know what they are. Yes. So she selected
one we've never seen called the Boys from County hell,
which is from 2020. And I just give you the synopsis.
Now, this is going to get you excited. A crew of Hardy road
workers led by a bicker, father and son must survive the night when they
accidentally awaken an ancient irish vampire. All right?
And it's based on a true legend she sent me.
She's been to the science. So that's your word. Strange.
Exactly what my conversation was with Holly earlier today. I said, like, she sent me
so much information on it and a documentary and stuff, so it's gonna be cool.
That'll be our world of the strange. So that I've never seen it.
It's an irish comedy horror vampire movie, and she's paired that one up
with one I have seen from 2019.
Extraordinary. I think you might have seen this as well.
Not sure. I feel like possibly. I'm not sure. Rose,
who is a sweet, lonely irish driving instructor, must use her supernatural talents
to save the daughter of Martin from washed up Rockstar
who's using her in a satanic pact to reignite his
fame. I think I have, but yeah, it's.
Very quirky, funny irish, spooky.
Cheers. Cheers. That's nice that you're doing it from the
land of Ireland. The land of Ireland.
The land of Ireland. That's cool.
Yeah. Thank you, Holly. Basically doing an irish double bill.
And Holly is. I've told her that I still have a two
disc copy of Razor Blade Smile, which was her last pick,
and I'm going to be sending that to her. I maybe look up to a
little list of talking about other classic irish horror
films. Yeah, could do. You could do a little ten out of ten,
you know, list. Holly, perhaps if you want to send me some of your favorites,
but I'll do that as well. I'll do a bit of research because it's your
episode, Holly. You can tell me to say whatever you want,
but yeah. So that's what's coming up. Final destination, Terence Fisher
and some irish comedy horror. Fantastic stuff.
Gavin. Yeah? Do you want me to do some housekeeping?
Please. Okay. We are the podcast on Haunted Hill.
We are, as always, and for the last ten years
we have been a proud member of, not just
a proud. Member.
Of Legion podcast network.
You can find out more about them if you go to legionpodcasts.com
where us and all the other shows under the network umbrella. You can
find all the back episodes and loads of other bits and bobs on there.
We're also under the Deadbolt media umbrella. More on that
in just a moment. You can email us
on the podcast on haunted hill outlook.com, email us
directly to talk to us, ask us questions, suggestions,
etcetera. We're on Facebook as well. Just search for the podcast
on Haunted Hill. We have a very active Facebook page full of funny,
fun people who post constantly, and it's such an entertaining place
to be. And you'll make lots of friends on there. Like I said, it's been
going ten years, that community. So friends. We're all friends.
We like scary films and Legion have
a Facebook page as well. Again, just search for Legion podcast and you'll find that.
And that's, again in the same vein. Really, really fun community
of people. Wherever you're listening to us is where you can continue to listen to
us. We're on most podcast platform, Spotify, YouTube, Podnife,
Podbean, Apple podcast addicts and all the usual places.
Just Google the podcast on Haunted Hill. We're on Instagram,
which is generally just used to promote the episodes when they come out with a
link. And it's the podcast on Haunted Hill Insta, that's our
Instagram handle. And Deadbolt Films, which is our
production company, features, shorts,
comics, this podcast, and Gav, your other podcast,
my strangeness podcast. And my dearest Sarah, where we
talk about weird things in the world. So Deadboltfilms.com
is the website. Yeah, lots of things coming Deadbolt. There's going to be a few
comic conversations. These are, this is really for the graphic novel
and comic fans out there. If you do conventions in
England, I know Deadbolt have got a couple of conventions coming up
and that's the guys who do the comics are going to be at those on
a dead bolt table with selling comics and stuff
and live signed comics and things. So deadboltfilms.com
for more info, we have a YouTube channel. Nothing with me.
My comments would be crap if I drew them. You'd be like Dennis the Menace,
be awful. We have a YouTube channel just so just
search for Deadbolt films where you can see snippets and stuff
of what we've been doing and done over the years. And on Instagram,
the handle is double films. All one word.
Finally, we are on Patreon,
which means we have patron supporters. We're very grateful
to them. Absolutely, amazingly grateful. So thank you
so much. If you want to become a patron
supporter for as little as one pound or a dollar a month, you can support
the show and help us keep things moving forward.
The money helps us to rent films, buy films, buy new headphones,
which I really need, need to do soon.
If you become they are. If you become a patron, there's a few perks.
You'll get access to all of our back catalogue. Every Friday
we drop an old episode in order, obviously.
So eventually the entire catalog of episodes
will be on there. Occasionally, very occasionally, we do bonus
episodes and content and videos on Patreon exclusively.
It's quite good having all the other episodes.
Eventually, all of our episodes on there is in like, it's a doubled
backup safe place. If anything was
ever to happen to servers or anything, if you went down,
if you're a patron, you can go back at this episode. You also occasionally
we will drop an episode very early to our patrons as well. You'll also get
a t shirt posted to you in one of three colors in the
size of your choice, and you will, of course, get to
have your patron pick. So every three episodes is a
patron episode where one of our patrons, in order, will tell us the
two films they want us to review. As long as they're somewhere in the horror
Sci-Fi fantasy cult film vein, which they
always generally are, we are more than happy to discuss it. You can
also send it. You don't have to, but you can send an email or a
message with why you've chosen. Like, Kevin's email was full
of fun and cox and Bush. It doesn't have to have as much cock and
bush in it, but you can still send me an email with why you've chosen
those films, you know, first time you watch them, what they mean to you,
that kind of thing. So, yeah, if you want to become a patron, go to
Patreon, search for the podcast on Haunted Hill. If you can't find that again,
our email address is: the podcast on haunted hill at outlook.com.
or you can send me a message on Facebook. I'm very active on there
and I will always reply to you. And you'll also
get a shout out at the end of the episode, which I'm about to do.
Now. I'm not going to do this in the style of Giallo because that would
be me putting on a terrible italian accent, which is cultural appropriation and
not very PC these days. So what if you just did it as Mario?
That's fine. I'll do it as John Saxon.
Ow. What's that gonna be? Just as Dan Bone.
Okay, so thank you ever so much to all our patrons. Dante,
Don Collier, Matthew Godley, Jamie Jenkins,
our King patron, Kevin S. Fife for this episode. Also,
Sarah K. Rachel, RJ Macready, and Lex Boo,
who is Holly, who is coming up in a couple of episodes time.
Thank you, guys. We love you lots. Thank you
to everybody for listening, supporting, sharing, liking what we do. I think
we have our birthday episodes, but it's only once a year where we get
to choose the episode and program it. Can we, can we just have
one more in a year? Me and you can program an episode?
I mean, it is our show and. We do program it would be nice.
Okay. Because I once a year, I can go,
oh, I can choose two films. You do realize every
time you tell me a film you want to review, I put it on our
list. Yeah, I know, but sometimes I want to program a double bill.
Okay, can we have one more something? Wait,
no. When do we have mine? Oh, it's on my birthday. And your birthday?
Our birthdays. The beginning of the year. Maybe around.
Maybe in October. We should almost.
Maybe. Yeah. Just.
I'm happy to just do whatever you want. I'll review anything you
want me to review, except for those
photos. But also, guys,
I always forget to on any of those platforms. You are listening to this
on. If there's the ability to give us a rating or a star or a
review. If you want to write a review of the show, please do so,
because we don't have many, and we've been known for ten years, so it'd be
great to get a few more on there. It does help the show, but that's
it. That's it from us. So, gav, it's been a pleasure.
Thank you. It's a good night from me in my
red stilettos, leather gloves, a great big, sharp razor blade.
Creep it up behind you. Good night from John Saxon's hat.
Spinning your head, right? It's a good night from goblin power.
Yep. And it's a good night from Argento.
155 years old, still smoking and still making films.
Yes. So everyone be safe out there. Look at. Look under the.
Look under the beds for Dario Argento.
And if you get in a car and it's very. You're in Italy, look in
the backseat. You're gonna get strangled.
Michael Myers probably just watched italian horror movies. That's where he got his ideas,
to be honest. We don't have to worry. We're not sexy italian women with our
breasts out. It's usually those ones that get cut up in these movies.
We're just. What movies do middle aged, bearded men
with receding hairlines? Well, the only movie
I can think of is deliverance.
It's not good. I'm the
fat one who gets bummed in the woods and you're Burt Reynolds. It's not
fun at all. Well, not for me. No. Choose a different fun thing
where we get killed in more fun ways. Can you think of a
couple of middle aged men going off and doing. Something wood bumming brokeback
mountain? That's what you're thinking. Me and you.
You broke my back on the mountain. There we go, guys. We'll leave it at
that. Good night and take care,
and Ciao Bella. Ciao, bella.
Good night. Thank you for
listening to the podcast on Haunted Hill. We will be back again real soon.