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The Last Diet Podcast 🎙️
The Last Diet Podcast is for people who want to rebuild a strong, athletic body that supports their life — not consumes it.
We talk training, nutrition, structure, and identity for people in their 30s–50s who’ve been fit before and want a clear, sustainable way to perform well again in work, family, and life.
No extremes. No gimmicks. Just standards, structure, and long-term performance.
Welcome to Weightless Mind, the podcast where we break free from toxic fitness methods and redefine what it means to live a healthy, empowered life. I'm your host, Mike Finnegan, in each episode, we will explore how to build a sustainable, balanced approach to wellness, mindset first, fitness second. Let's dive in.
Me:Team, welcome back to The Weightless Mind. I hope everyone is having a good week. I have a very, very horse spice. So luckily, today we have a very special guest, one of my amazing clients, Lorraine. And we're going to talk through some of her journey today, Okay?
Me:Because I always feel like I can come on these podcasts and I can tell you about things. And, you know, it's great having all the knowledge, but listening to real life stories from people that have had struggles and have overcome them is even more powerful. So Lorraine, how are you today?
Lorraine:I am doing great, yeah, as we were just chatting before you hit record there. I'm down to a new low in the programme, and I'm just feeling really good at the moment.
Me:For sure. And we're going to dig into all that because I think it's important to go through the kind of journey step by step and actually paint a picture. And I've actually got something I wanted to kind of bring up soon for you, right? You like this one. First things first, let's get just a quick introduction to you, right?
Me:So maybe just give us a brief background, who you are, what you do, and then we can get into the crux of it.
Lorraine:Okay, so I'm Lorraine. I am from just outside Emmyskillen in County Formatna in Northern Ireland. I am 47 years young I manage a cosmetic dental and facial aesthetic clinic, which is quite a big clinic. It's very busy spot and, yeah, a lot of stress and pressure comes with that.
Me:For sure. And we'll definitely get into that because Lorraine's actually gone through one of the busiest times of the year at work, guys. And I was just talking to her about how amazing it is that she has hit a new low weight this week because, you know, in the past, this stressful situation would kind of made a spur and stuff, but it's nice to be able to trust herself to go through that. We'll definitely get into that. Just a bit of backstory.
Me:So me and Lorraine actually met through a mutual friend, Mick McDermott. And I was actually, I think I came in to do a talk for one of Mick's programs during, and that's where we originally met. And obviously, we stayed in contact after. And it was actually a year to this month that we were chatting, right? And I actually want to I wanna read you out a screenshot, right?
Me:Because before we get into the kind of crux of it, one of the messages, we were just talking back and forth. I think you had listened to one of my podcasts and you were just saying how it resonated with you. I think I was going through some struggle or some stress as well. And I asked you how you were doing since we last spoke. And you said, to be honest, not great.
Me:It's still on a continual downward spiral since we last spoke. I haven't been this out of balance in quite a few years and just can't put I can't get myself to pull myself out of it. I want and I need to get back on track, but the voice in my head just stronger than the willpower at the moment. So that was one of the first messages you talked to me before we jumped on Crazy last
Lorraine:so it is. And do you know what, I'd actually forgot I'd sent you that message. Isn't that bonkers?
Me:So bonkers. And this is why I love keeping records of things because do know when you're in the pain and you move out of it and you progress, it's so easy to get caught up in the, you'll have a struggle next week and you might forget about how far you've come. And it's so important to have these kind of things to remind you of how far you have come. And we'll get into that, but I just think it was a really good way to start the podcast because a year ago, that's the position you're in now, you were in then, and you were struggling to take that action. But through a year of work, and it wasn't even a year because we started after Christmas, the year of work, you know, put yourself in this position.
Me:So let's get started. Like, Talk us through your previous journeys you're in and I suppose just the mindset you were in overall before we started.
Lorraine:Yeah, I am the classic yo yo dieter, on, off, on, off. And I have at times had success. One of the diets that I was on, I lost seventy,
Me:eighty
Lorraine:pound. But I lost it really quickly, didn't deal with anything, the reason why I kept gaining all this weight. And that seventy, eighty pound went straight back on, plus a lot more. And I worked with a couple of different coaches who were great in some ways. Some were just too lenient, others were too strict.
Lorraine:Mick, who I absolutely love, And we still chat and it wasn't that Mick's programme wasn't successful, but I was on his programme for performance coaching, as in work performance coaching. And I did lose weight as part of that, but he couldn't help me where I needed to go, which was the weight loss. That was what was important to me.
Me:Yeah, for sure. And me, Mick, we're always back and forth each other. And it's interesting. And I always say to him, I feel like we're going to eventually come together and do something And I'd really loved it because guess Mick just was never interested, usually, in the weight loss. And a lot of people that would kind of be attracted to his stuff probably were weight loss clients, but he loved the mindset and he loved, like you said, the performance and more performance and all that stuff.
Me:It really motivates him. I feel like we could create something amazing if we do bring something together eventually. And we have talked about it, to be fair. I won't lie to you, and I think I've said this to you, and said this to a few clients specifically, but like the programme I've created, and especially over the last year, a lot of it's come from our journey. And I call it the last diet lifestyle because it's like, that's what I want people to achieve.
Me:Because as you've talked about, you've lost the weight in the past, but it was like there was something missing from you actually sustaining this. And we just talked for we recorded about you, that you feel like when you get to that final weight that you want to be at, that you have the confidence to stay within a range and not step back. And what I've created in the last lifestyle is like, I think your journey in general has really captured it in terms of us working through not just the weight loss and how to do that, but also the mindset. And as you said, the reasons you were falling back and stuff. So what beliefs You said something interesting on the message as well.
Me:You said that you know you needed to start, but there was something stopping you. So what beliefs were actually holding you back from joining that time?
Lorraine:I think most of it was just, I've never succeeded in this before. So how could I possibly think that if I try it again, that I'm actually gonna win this time? And it's just, it is so hard. And I don't think people realise how difficult the mind challenge is, because losing weight is easy. It really is, it is the most simple thing in the world.
Lorraine:Eat healthily, exercise. That's it. Stay on a calorie deficit. When I am able to do those three things really well, it is so easy, but it's the mind that fucks everything up. Excuse the language.
Lorraine:And it is unbelievable the catastrophic damage that your mind can do to your progress and how it just simply convinces you, I can't do this. I can't. I'm going to fail. There's no point. You go out and eat a bun with a coffee.
Lorraine:That's it. It's messed up. That's it. Let's just call an end to this now. We're done.
Me:Yeah. It's so hard. And I know you said a lot of people don't realize how hard it is, but people listen to this podcast, I genuinely feel like they will resonate with you saying that. And that's why I love this, that you're on talking about this, because I think sometimes when you can see someone like you that has gone through a lot of, obviously, tights and struggles with this, And we'll get on to where you are at the moment because I think it's very, very inspirational. But a lot of people resonate with that, that feeling of, I don't want to start something because I just feel like it's going to be the same story over and over again.
Me:And it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. As you said, you know, it's like you're looking for that next thing to sabotage because of evidence you're actually failing. You also said something to me. Were like, you said, I have to do it. Now, there's no other So option, what was that moment for you?
Me:What made you actually get to that point where you're like, There was no other option. I have to do it.
Lorraine:Yeah. And this is something we've spoke about quite a bit, quite a few times. And you always describe it so well when you say that the pain of doing nothing was just too great. It was just It just got to the stage in my life and it was just all consuming, absolutely all consuming. It's all you can think about all day, every day is how unhappy you are with how you look and how you feel and all of those thoughts and feelings that's running through your head.
Lorraine:And it's not a physical pain, but it feels like it. And it's just the pain of doing nothing outweighed actually doing something.
Me:So strong. So many people have actually said to me around about that phrase hits them hard. For some people, it's almost harder to be in the middle ground where it's like the pain isn't outweighing it yet and they're not doing anything about it. They're blat. They're okay, but they're not happy.
Me:They're not unhappy. Something that almost struck me about you, Lorraine, we've never actually spoke about this, but since the moment I've met you, you've always seemed like a very bubbly character. You're enjoyable to be around. And I mean that in a really positive way. You're an energy raiser.
Me:So do you that fits in with this? Even when you are feeling unhappy, how do you feel like you were still that way? Was that natural or?
Lorraine:No, I wouldn't say, I think in general, I'm a really bubbly, really active person. I think I'm a pretty fun person to be around, but I'm kind of biased. But there's definitely been times in my life and it's all part of that same thing. And that when you're so down on yourself and you literally isolate yourself. For years, quite a few years, I literally got up, went to work, went home, and literally was eating and drinking myself to death.
Lorraine:And that was my life for a very long time. And then you sort of wrap it up and you're like, No, I'm focusing on my career and I have a really important job and I have to make the most of it. Then I'm going home and I'm eating and drinking to deal with the stress. But you're not. You're telling yourself this lie to justify why you are actually destroying your life.
Lorraine:And it makes total sense, absolute sense. Yeah. It's the craziest thing.
Me:Yeah, as you said, lot of that comes back to the whole mindset side of things as well, because a plan isn't gonna get you out of that. You said, the plan will give you that little kind of initial release where you're getting some results and you're seeing happiness on the scales and all that, but it's never going to solve all the kind of other things that hold you back. As you said, eating that bun and then using that as a stick to beat yourself with. It's like, well,
Lorraine:Yeah, it's, now mean, you get into that, you know, you do and you go when you have a coffee and a bottle and you're like, oh, I fucked it up now. And it's nearly like the next day you do everything in your power to make the situation as worse as you could make it. And it's like, you are nearly purposely completely derailing yourself over a button that's what, three, four hundred calories. That bun is not gonna make or break anything. You could have the whole packet of buns.
Lorraine:It is still not gonna put you back to where you are. But in your mind you think, Oh my God, I've just had a bun, that's it. I'm done for. I might as well, I'm just gonna buy the whole shop now.
Me:Yeah, yeah. It's so true. Again, coming back to the last night when I was talking earlier to you, Lorraine, when you came through the programme, I had all this in my head in terms of I knew there had to be a way of changing your belief systems around all or nothing or having that one and being able to just reset and not let it kind of be a thing that derails you. And I actually recently created the diet reversal system, basically, which it's basically healing someone's relationship with the previous diets they've done that have taught you to think that way and change the mindset around them. Because as you said, your mind is so powerful and it's like when you're feeling down, it almost wants to reinforce the fact that you're failing and then it turns into a spiral and then that one meant nothing.
Me:But obviously, the stuff that you did after did. Yeah, a surprise. Yeah. Yeah, it's a very hard place to be. So let's talk about where you are now, Ryan.
Me:What are you proudest of so far throughout this journey?
Lorraine:God, there's so much. There's been so many big days, so there have. And it's the silly wee things and they're not even weight related. As you know, a few months ago I got my colours done, which was just the best day ever. And I had wanted to do this for years and I convinced myself, no, I'm not doing it until I reach my goal weight.
Lorraine:Because there's no way of getting it done because I'm just gonna look like shit in clothes until I'm skinny. And I just took a notion of, it was after we'd talked about loads of stuff and I was like, frig it, I'm gonna do it now. And had the best day, got my colours done.
Me:You, sorry, Lorraine, can you just explain what that is for people that don't know?
Lorraine:So it's where someone comes in and they lay all these colours on your shoulders and tell you which colours suit you and which don't. And black is not a colour, sorry everyone. Black is not a colour and black is not your colour. And 99.9% of my wardrobe was all black so that I could hide. And I thought that it made me look skinnier and no one would see me and I wouldn't stand out.
Lorraine:And I literally got my colors done and it was the best day of my life. And I don't think I have wore anything black now in When did I get that done? Like April, May time? Let's go ahead. Probably August.
Lorraine:Yeah. And it has totally changed my life. And I know it's not weird related, but it kind of is.
Me:It kind of is, right? I really wanna peel back on this because the day you said to me, blew me away, right? Because often have these conversations with people where it's like, once I hit that target weight, I'll do this. Once I hit that target weight, I'll do this. Once I get that far, I'll do this.
Me:And it's conditional love. It's like, I will give myself love and approval once I hit this weight on the scales. And it becomes, again, it's not letting the beat yourself. It's like, regardless of how good you're doing, it's like it doesn't matter if they haven't hit that weight on the scales yet. That Yeah, moment for
Lorraine:I it don't until I get to there. Until you Which is get to Totally ridiculous. And now, I feel like I love wearing, navy's my colour, bright pinks and fuchsias. Walked into work in green one day and everybody was like, my God, who is she?
Me:I love that.
Lorraine:And it totally changes how you see yourself. And you get up and you feel brighter. And even silly things, like you go to the gym wearing really bright that suit you, or colours that suit you, and you actually feel like you get a better workout because you're like, look at me, I'm really good.
Me:Yeah. But there is something in that Lorraine, right? Wearing colours that you feel like suits you and actually bring the best out in you, there is something in that and that it gives you more confidence because you feel like it's aligned to you. It's not I need to cover up or I need to do this to whatever. Having any relationship, whether it be family or partners, whatever in life, and you will only care for them if they're a certain way.
Me:I always think about this or I relate this back to a child with sport. It's like, well, if you're good at sport, then you've validated it. You'll have all this. But equally, it's like that with partners. Like you act in a certain way or you look a certain way, then I will love you.
Me:It's like, imagine how crazy that is. But it's like for you, because we just do that so naturally to ourselves. It's like, when I achieve X, then I'll be deserving of this. And I've said this to you a few times, you've done this better than anyone, not just in this sense, because there was other things as well that you did, giving yourself appreciation for your journey, whether that be a spa day putting yourself into the Toastmasters, all them things which we get into. But you've done that really well.
Me:But there is such a huge confidence boost in doing it because when you actually give yourself unconditional love, the pressure of the weight loss is released because, yes, you want it, and yes, it's helpful, and yes, it's still a big goal, but you have now told yourself that regardless of the weight loss, I am worthy of this. It just builds your confidence up that little bit more. So I think that was such a crucial part in your journey.
Lorraine:Yeah. And I think the other big one that really stands out for me is the video. Yeah, so I had went to an event, a local event. It was like a business networking event and someone had shot a video and posted it on social media. And it was the first time when I'd seen it, the first time in my life where I looked at it and thought, I actually just looked like a normal person.
Lorraine:I don't look at that and think, Oh my God, she is so fat. Oh my God, I look terrible. Look at the stomach, look at the ass, look at this, look at that. I just looked at it and thought, oh, I just looked like a normal person. Yeah, I quite like that.
Me:That was so powerful. When you send me that message, even using the phrase normal person, it was just so much impact on it because, again, it comes back to unconditional love. That person there is doing so amazing and so many things in their life. And I said to about the Toastmaster pictures you had up last year as well. I looked at it as well, I just thought, I hope you feel the same way about that because that's exact same.
Me:Again, clothes you were wearing, you were standing up there talking proud as you could be. And I just think the moments, we don't talk about enough. We see transformation pictures. We talk about weight and scales, but they're the moments in life that really show a true journey.
Lorraine:Yeah, oh, absolutely. I 100% agree. And there's been so many of those days and it's actually really hard now to remember them all because now it's just like, yeah, that's just normal now, that's my life. And we're just winning the first and it's great.
Me:It is. Really is. Do you know one last thing I wanna pull back on, Noren, because I think this is probably one of the biggest breakthroughs, and I mentioned it before we came on, around your summer We call it stagnation, but I don't believe the stagnation because I think for you to have gone through whatever, you're down nearly three and a half stone overall, right? So you've hit your near first target, which was the 50 to 60 pounds. Okay?
Me:But to be able to I think you initially lost whatever nearly treestone. And then you obviously had the cruise, you had the holidays, and then you had a very, very, very social and busy summer, as well as some struggles, external struggles. We all have stresses and feeling down at different times because it all been perfect. It hasn't all been sunshine. But just talk us through that, for you to hit your kind of new slow weight this week off the back of what you would have called maybe a couple of months of stagnation.
Me:How was the mindset around that?
Lorraine:Yeah, so we're really talking from April. So I worked really hard to April and it's not that at any point that I said, I'm going on holidays now and this is an end point. And for so many people they lose weight with an end point like, Oh, I'm gonna lose weight up until I go to holidays and then I'm just gonna let it all go to hell. That was never in my mind that the first holiday, the cruise was an end point. But it was certainly the starting point of what's been, as you say, probably the best couple of months for me.
Lorraine:And went away in the cruise, put a bit of weight on, and then went straight into a couple of days away with work and there was a wee bit more weight on. Then we worked really hard and we got it off. And then a few things happened and the weight went back on and then the weight came off. Then you know we had lots of work stress and family stress and weight crept back on and now we have it back off. And as we were saying just before the call, that's life.
Lorraine:That's life. And if anything, if I can get to my goal weight and for the rest of my life, just play with those 10 pound and things get busy, we might creep up a little bit and then we just get it off. Because we know what to do, To lose it's easy. And if you can just play within that 10 pounds, you have a happy life. It's just no one It's okay to go up a few and let's go down a few and go up a few and go down a few and not think, oh, it's all gone to shape now.
Me:So strong. And it's so So strong. I really want to peel back of this frame because I think this could be one of the most powerful parts of this podcast because a lot of people, as you say, they see that few pounds waking as the end point almost like, oh, it's now here we go. I'm on to relapse. And it's never about the few pounds that have gone on.
Me:It's how you're feeling about the few pounds going on that created. Like the cruise and all inclusive cruise, right? Any person in the world that goes on an all inclusive cruise does not come back with weight on, not come back with weight on. And if they do, then they haven't done it right because it's not easy.
Lorraine:Exactly. They have not enjoyed that cruise.
Me:They have not enjoyed this cruise. And I love how you said there that you had the best three months of your life during that period. And it wasn't weight related. You weren't losing weight. But there was a kind of a freedom element of it's actually okay for me to hold this.
Me:And the weight coming on wasn't a big deal. And it wasn't like you were spiraling as such. Just Life is happening and putting on a few pounds of your life. Like I, over the last month of August, I've put on, I'd say, maybe five or six pounds as well just because of going out more and doing all these things. Yeah.
Me:But as you said, it's like, it's okay. You can bring it back. I think we've talked about this in the past as well, Ryan, and I've again tried to work on this so much in the programme with maintenance mindset and understanding how you can maintain your weight and what it takes. But a crucial part, I believe, of this is that you actually enjoy your routine. And that's something you obviously did really well.
Me:Like a lot of the stuff you were doing weekly. Sometimes you put too much pressure on yourself, we had to work on that where it was like you didn't allow too much, we'll say, and trying to do more and more and more because you wanted to be faster, like the old mindset. But I think we can always be happy that when you go back to normal living after your cruise or whatever, that you actually quite like it. It makes you feel better. It's not something that's restrictive.
Lorraine:Yeah, absolutely. Just when you say it about maintenance, I think so many people have it in their head that this maintenance figure is a single figure. So say it's like a 100 pounds or whatever. And if they go to 101, it's gone shit in handbag. And that's not what maintenance is.
Lorraine:Maintenance is a little range between this and this. And as long as you're in there, we're good. And if we go up a little bit, then we'll just do a little bit of work to come back down. And it gives you that freedom just to breathe and actually enjoy what's going on. And I have had hands down the best three, four months.
Lorraine:When I sit down and write down everything I have done in the last couple of months, it's absolutely bonkers. And I am still at the lowest weight now in this entire journey. And just to finish the summer, a few weeks ago when things were really stressful, was like, Oh, I'm not gonna do this. I'm not gonna get back to pre cruise weight before the end of the summer. And now I have, and a couple of extra.
Lorraine:And it's just like, Oh, there we go. And that really wasn't that difficult.
Me:Yeah, the word freedom, Lorraine, I think that's I always wanna come back to that, the word freedom, because as you said, the weight maintenance is not a number. Can't And if it was, imagine how obsessive we would be
Lorraine:Oh my God, about yeah, 1.04. Really good what you said there about the freedom too. I think the big thing around that for me was two weeks ago, whenever I said about being honest in the check-in and doing the check ins. Because I do this all the time. If I am not writing down in my tracker every day, if I go missing for a couple of days, I'm doing work to undo something and I'm not being honest.
Lorraine:And it's like, if I don't write it down, Mike won't see it. So he doesn't know that I've put on two pounds and I'm just going to work really, really hard now to get it off. Which is just so counterproductive because so what? Own up to it. Don't carry this burden round and be like, shit, can't tell anyone, can't tell anyone.
Lorraine:And it's the stress of carrying this and not being honest. Whereas to say, Oh, well I put two pounds on. And at least then you can see, Oh Jesus, well Lorraine got those two pounds off like that. And that's brilliant and she's working really hard. That study that I was talking about where they've done, where carrying lies like that around with you makes your body weaker.
Lorraine:It absolutely makes your body weaker. And it's going to make it so much harder.
Me:Much. Orenda, that is such a great point. And we've hit so many great points in this, and I love it. There's just going to be so much people are going to take from this. But as you say, there's almost like a dirty secret when you do that.
Me:It's like, I am bad. It's the feeling of like it's wrong and I'm not good enough. And it kind of comes back to this unconditional love. It's like we're all human and we all have imperfections. I remember another client was talking to me recently about secret eating and how that is a big commenting for a lot of people, including myself.
Me:I've done it in the past. Or you're ashamed maybe of overeating. It's like, you don't want to be judged. So it's like, don't talk about it. But our community is great in that way.
Me:It's like, we can openly talk about these things because we want to normalize it instead of people feeling like it's only them. It's like, I'm the only one that struggles with this. No one else struggles with this. And it becomes, again, this dark little secret that they have. As you said, when they're carrying around all these lies, it's weakening them physically and mentally.
Me:And it's so hard, but when you can release it and take ownership as you did, you can just get back and do it and do what you need to do again. And I think that does tie into the freedom of it, for sure.
Lorraine:Yeah. And we have such a good community. As you say, you can air your dirty laundry, so to speak, and say, well, listen, I've had a really shit week and this is what's gone wrong, or this is what I've done. And straight away, you're going to have 10 people shoot you a message within two seconds saying, shit, sure, these things happen. Forget about that.
Lorraine:What are we doing now to just move forward? Let the past go. We've all done it. It's not important. What can we do now to get you back on a better track?
Me:And the gas, we would do that for anyone else, and you're great to have people in the community. But it's like sometimes when it's ourselves, it's hard to give ourselves that to not allow us and break it down, which is gas. But just bringing it back to the maintenance, I think this is a very, very big part for a lot of people. It's like being able to stabilize and get that freedom. Like I had three clients recently.
Me:It was Kira, Melissa, Alison. I remember them talking about the holidays and to be able to actually go on holidays and enjoy the holiday and come back without that feeling of, I've ruined it all, or even been on holiday and not even needing to ruin it all because they feel like they're in control of things. But that to me is so crucial because you can't always be dieting. It's like there's always this on off. I was like, I might have really working really hard or else I'm doing everything as well.
Me:It's just like finding that sweet spot in the middle of where, like you said, you're not restricted, but at the same time, not sabotage. It's so crucial. So I think if it's one thing people take from this podcast, it's like if you never learn how to stabilize and maintain and if you've always used a batting, like you you could have you put into our group member that time that in the past, you would have felt like a failure or you put on loads of weight because you weren't moving forward. But now you actually get a new a new low weight and you're progressing again. It's like, wow, I was able to actually have that fun time, but now you're ready to maybe push forward again and hit that goal that you're looking to hit.
Me:There's still things for
Lorraine:us to
Me:tick, you know?
Lorraine:I know. Any other summer, especially a summer like this, I would have had two stone on by the end of the summer. This summer I've lost count of how much I've lost over the course of these two months. And be now at an all time low in the programme and now heading into the winter, which is usually my strongest time. And thinking, Oh my God, I'm already winning here.
Lorraine:It's great.
Me:Yeah, I love it. And it's not just summer either, Lorraine. It's the work stresses that you've proven as well during that time, as busy as you've been with work that you can maintain during that, the time where you were having the external struggles and stresses, the time you get through that as well. Because it was only two or two weeks ago you were feeling that. But again, you had the ability to let yourself feel it.
Me:It wasn't a great feeling, but you allowed yourself out and you didn't sabotage everything because again, you were able to reflect, you were able to stabilize. And in two weeks on, you know, you're like a different person. That's To me, it's so important. You are gonna get the emotions, you are gonna feel the emotions, but it's about not reacting to them in the way you would have in the past. Yeah,
Lorraine:that's the weak quote I said. I'm just gonna put on my invisibility cloak. Another great coach, Terry McKanney, taught me that one. And she was like, Yeah, Lorraine, see weeks like that, just put your invisibility cloak on. Just get through the week, do what you have to do and just put yourself first just Put don't yourself first.
Lorraine:Yeah. Just don't listen to the external noise. And at the end of that week, I think that was the start of me really fighting back and like, Oh, this is quite good. Look at those scales.
Me:I love it, I love it. I really do, Remi, because showing up yourself isn't always about, Oh, I need to lose weight this week. Showing up yourself sometimes is actually just doing the things that you need to do in order to get by. And sometimes that is just compassion and actually, like you said, doing less, even if it means you don't have the perfect week with food or the gym. But if what you need in a moment is to actually pull away from people and have a quite week and just get your head right.
Me:I love the idea of a self care week or a mental health week or a mental health day. It's a really great way to think about things because, again, it takes the pressure off of, I need to be losing weight in order for this to be a success, and puts it more on, no, you will lose weight if you look after yourself and actually show up for yourself when you need it the most. Weight loss will become a byproduct. As you said, it was easy after that, for your weight last couple of weeks because you were feeling good because you showed up yourself when you needed it.
Lorraine:Yeah. And it's just such a crazy mindset shift. Like I'm heading away now again tomorrow for a few days. And I was actually just laughing before I clicked on the Zoom link. So I have a little list of what I need to still pack.
Lorraine:And the top of the list is my journal.
Me:Love
Lorraine:Yeah, my journal, my supplements, my protein shaker, mug, and almond milk.
Me:Nice.
Lorraine:So I'm heading away. And it's just like, I'm thinking, right, I'm heading away. I want to enjoy it. But you know what, I don't want to rip the arse out of it either. I want to enjoy the really good parts and the really good meals, but still make the most of trying to push myself forward and making sure that I am eating healthy breakfasts and lunches and getting out for my walks and everything else.
Lorraine:And by the time I come back on Sunday, I just want to be the same. And just maintain where we are and not stress about it.
Me:Yeah, for sure, for sure. And even when you, I know you talked about that big push you had up to April and you worked really hard and you did around, but you also worked smart and you also had nice days away, you had nice lunches out, you had dinners, and it wasn't this restrictive approach again. So it's like, I just wanna make that clear for people because sometimes they think, oh, working hard, she just put her head down, did nothing at all, life was boring, but it wasn't. You still enjoyed what you haven't.
Lorraine:And if anyone wants to see how good my life has been since I joined this programme, just look at my social media. It's literally every day I'm doing something. And it's not, but it doesn't have to be food or alcohol rewards. For me, the colour profiling was a big reward. I take myself off for lovely spa days.
Lorraine:Those are rewards. It's just, there's so much that you can do to reward yourself that's not food and drink related.
Me:Yeah. And even sometimes food and drink related, Lorraine, isn't always I always talk about net positives, right? Because some people think it's always a bad thing to socialise or go out and drink. Sometimes it's a net positive because some people are very isolated or they want they're not doing much. And that can make you emotional in different ways and lonely.
Me:And it can make you want to overeat at home. You know, use coping mechanisms aren't great as well. So there's always there's always reasons to connect and do things and get yourself away. And even if it is sometimes drink and feel related, it's just how you look at it. Because if it's seeing us for you, it's like, that was really enjoyable.
Me:And it's actually filled my cup. And I feel good coming back. I don't need to sabotage everything. You don't have that guilt attached to That's a big thing. Just before we close out, because I'm conscious of your time right now with this.
Me:So I wanted to finish this off maybe with some quick fire questions, and then we'll just finish off with a small bit of listener advice. So like, at what point did you truly believe that this was possible without extremes?
Lorraine:Do you know, I think I knew it quite early on. I think I knew it definitely before the cruise, because I was having such a good time and the weight was coming off so consistently. And there was no time in any of that that I ever went to any extremes. But I think it's been really reinforced now this last couple of months where I did put on the weight and I've had a lot of struggles and a lot of things going on. And it was so easy just to get it back off and never have I felt hungry.
Lorraine:Never have I been exhausted from going to the gym. Most days all I ever do is walk. There's no punishment in this. So yeah, I think definitely I knew that from very, very early, but this last couple of months has definitely reinforced it.
Me:Love it. Just quick follow-up on that because I really wanted to ask you this because you said this at the start that it's never the actual plan, it's never the weight loss. That's the easy part to say, it's the mindset. So what has shifted in your mind to allow you to put on that a few pounds recently and stagnate it and bring it back? What has shifted?
Lorraine:I think it's just the forgiveness and just letting it go. And it's, I have, again, this last couple of months, had some of the most incredible meals of my life. Probably the top three meals I have ever had in forty seven years have been in the last couple of months. Pick calories, but I don't care. And it's just saying to yourself, I really enjoyed it.
Lorraine:And tomorrow we're just getting back at this. That was amazing. But tomorrow we can't continue this for the next week or month or whatever. And it's just saying that was great, but here we go again and forgetting about it. And it's not even forgiveness, because you shouldn't have to forgive yourself for enjoying your life.
Lorraine:You get one life, you make the most of it. So it's not that you're forgiving yourself because you went out and had a really absolutely amazing meal. It's just accepting it and moving on.
Me:Yeah, because I was going to actually ask you that because you used the word forgiveness and I was thinking, do you know, did you mean forgiveness for the past relationship with it? Do you mean forgiveness for having it? But it's like, I think that's pretty way of putting it. It's kind of like the letting go and actually being able to just enjoy it. And because I always bring it back to it's your relationship with the food and your relationship with the weight and all of them things that were, you know, it wasn't your fault, Lorraine, because this has happened over years and years and years and years of just poor diet culture, just being taught the wrong things and being brought up to think your weight was your reflection of your self worth.
Me:And to break free of that now and to keep compounding this new identity that we're building here, to know this identity of someone that doesn't fall on thought or nothing, that doesn't restrict. It's huge. Okay, last couple of things, right? So what was the biggest realization you've had about yourself on this journey overall? Gosh.
Me:Deep for what now?
Lorraine:Think just that I firmly believed before entering this that I couldn't win. And I suppose there was a big part of me that thought I have failed so many times in the past that I didn't deserve to win. And that's a really, really horrible place to be. It really, just whenever you read that message back and you're like, oh my God, you know, I remember that time now. I was in a very, very dark, dark place.
Lorraine:So I think, yeah, that's probably the big thing.
Me:That is so powerful. That's so, so powerful. And can I ask you just follow-up this right now to hold you because I think this is just so amazing? What do you think happened throughout the journey to make you realise that you are worthless, you are worthy of getting the results, you are worthy of happiness, are worthy of the results that you're getting from?
Lorraine:You know, it's just every week there's something else. That's the great thing about our weekly check ins. Get to talk things out. You write them down and then we chat about them. And it's the fact that you do have time to sit down and really think about things and jot them down.
Lorraine:And then we pick them apart and that's the amazing thing about you that you are so good at putting a different spin. Because everyone has shit days, every one of days they wake and they're like, Oh my God, life's so terrible. But do you have a great way of spinning that and showing the contrast inside? And I suppose it's not one singular thing. It's just been hundreds of things that we have picked apart.
Me:And the other wins along the way as well. I just think that's magic. I really do because I know a lot of people are probably listening and thinking, I feel that way. I feel like I don't deserve it. I feel like I'll never get there.
Me:And that belief obviously people stuck because if you believe something enough, it's gonna keep becoming a recurrent thing. And I love that idea of small and often wins, and the evidence builds over time, Ryan, because
Lorraine:Absolutely. And it's
Me:just It's not all daunting. Yeah. Yeah, it compounds. I
Lorraine:mean, you know, I need to lose I keep saying to people, I'm on a journey to lose a 100 pound. That still actually leaves me in an overweight bracket. For me, really to be what would be considered within a healthy weight, I need to lose in total 120 pounds. And if you look at that and you're like, 120, no fucking way I can't do that. Forget about the big picture, just concentrate on the next one and forget about the journey.
Lorraine:It's going to take how long, whatever time it's gonna take. Should it take a year, two years, three years? As long as you stay on that journey and don't give up. Take them one at a time. And I think so many people just get so overwhelmed with this massive figure and think, Oh, I can't do that.
Lorraine:And then they're done before they even start. If you just get into it and take every tiny thing as your next win and another win and another win, and you will get there.
Me:And I I just think it comes back to what we said earlier around around the the self acceptance and you're good enough now because, like, again, I read that message out to you and you can look forward to that £120 and say, oh, I'm not there yet. Therefore, do know it's not good enough. I have so much to go. You can go back to where you were back then and how far you've come. You have drastically changed, not just mentally, but physically, you've drastically changed, three and a half stone nearly at this stage.
Me:So it's like we can compare ourselves to perfection or where we want to be, or we can look at where we've come from. And I think that's the great thing about self development when you're looking about, I just said, this is the next step. That's all have to worry about. Okay? You can set the goal.
Me:It was great saying I heard from one of my coaches recently was just set and forget it. So you can set your one hundred and twenty pounds, but then forget about it. And let's just focus on the next step we have to take in order to build it up. So it's a really great, great bit of advice. So just to finish off, I just wanted to get a bit of, like, listener advice.
Me:Right? So people that are listening to this now and maybe are in the place that you are back then and just don't know how to get out of it. What would be your advice for people that just feel afraid or they're procrastinating on doing something at the moment?
Lorraine:I'm such a firm believer that you have one life and you get to choose how you live that life. And all it takes is one message. Just at fifteen seconds of bravery, should it be to message you or another coach that they're Whatever. Fifteen seconds just to say, Listen, I'm in a bad place, I need help. And just open the door and let it go from there.
Lorraine:Don't worry about the bigger picture and what it's gonna take and fear of failure and everything else. Just fifteen seconds of bravery. It's the best thing that you can do. And you get to decide how you live your life. And if you're in the place that I was in where you were just in so much emotional pain, it's no place to live.
Lorraine:It's no way to live your life.
Me:Oh, I think that's so powerful. I'm gonna leave it on that, Lorraine. I think that is such a powerful one. Just that one decision that can change everything for you. And it's like, Joan, when you look at it, like you said, won life, but it's not gonna put you in a worse position, because a lot of people, the reason a lot of us don't take risks is because we're afraid of more emotional pain of failing at something.
Me:But it's like realistically, if you logically look at it, does it leave you in a worse position or not? If anything, it leaves you in a better position because you learn. I know sometimes it's painful. The stuff you've been through in the past, the extremes that have led you back to putting the web back on and stuff, even though they were painful, they've taught you a lot about yourself and they brought you to this point. And you can take a lot of lessons from them.
Me:It's like this left you in a better position in some ways. So it's just a different way of looking at So Lorraine, I just want to say thank you so much for your time. It was absolutely amazing. We've got nearly fifty minutes. This is as long as I've gone with them.
Me:There was so much I wanted to delve into. I'm sure there's so much more we probably didn't delve into. Maybe we could go again further down the line in your journey. But just thanks so much for your time. Any final thoughts or words?
Lorraine:No, it's been an incredible ride up until now. And yeah, I can't wait to see how the next couple of months go. And the next couple of months are equally as busy as the last few. But I know that in two, three, four months time that we're still gonna be winning and pushing forward. And yeah, we'll see what happens.
Me:I can't wait for the one year anniversary coming up around Christmas. It's gonna be a nice milestone.
Lorraine:Oh, the letter. I have the
Me:letter. Didn't think about the letter.
Lorraine:Oh, I have in my phone for, I think, what was that? Like the tenth or December 10 or something you got us to write those Was
Me:that it? I actually forgot about that and I'm looking forward to that as well. It's funny when you set the reminder, actually when it goes after, you're like, you don't remember. You're like, oh god, what was this? Like, that's actually gonna be so exciting as well.
Me:Maybe it's something we can we could we could do on the next hot seat. Can read it out and and see how far see how far you've come towards it.
Lorraine:Absolutely. Guys, thanks
Me:for listening.
Lorraine:So much.
Me:No worries. Appreciate listening. And as always, we'll chat to you. Thanks for tuning in to
Me intro:the latest episode of Waitlist Mind. If you found the episode useful, please share it on your socials or with a friend and give us a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify as well. As always, we appreciate you tuning in and see you in the next one.