“What if the goal every day was to make all of the people you encounter a little happier for having met you?”“You tend to get back at you what you give off into the world.”“We need to view the social media feed as another person in our life.”“Comparison is the thief of joy.”“Rather than just sit back and be a victim of social media… let's use it to our advantage.”
Most people don’t need more motivation. They need a different approach. Hosted by Gary Donia and Peter Brouillard, Different Life draws on years of experience helping people navigate pain, movement, recovery, and performance — but the conversation goes far beyond health alone.
We talk about:
• Strength training as a life skill
• Back pain, mobility, and injury recovery
• Pelvic floor health and durability
• Sleep, stress, hormones, and energy
• Performance and longevity over 40
• Discipline, habits, and identity shifts
• Parenting and modeling health
• Relationship-based healthcare
We discuss these not as isolated topics, but as part of a bigger question: What does it look like to live differently, not just try to live better?
If you feel stuck in patterns that no longer fit who you want to become, this show is for you. Because better often keeps you in the same cycles. Different changes your trajectory.
DL026
===
Gary: [00:00:00] What's up? What's up, buddy? What's up?
Peter: buddy? We're back.
Gary: What's up? What's up?
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: Um,
so I was on
vacation.
Peter: Yeah,
me
Gary: too. As you know.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: And,
well,
one, I realized that taking a week off from exercise, I think I just completely fell
Peter: You didn't do shit
Gary: on vacation? My body,
fell- Well- I walked a lot. Yeah. I mean, I did some
pushups every day or
whatever. Yeah.
Peter: Did you do squats?
Gary: No.
Peter: Well, that's why.
gotta, you gotta hit the knees, hips, and ankles.
Gary: Anyway. Yeah. Since returning, I've basically fallen apart. I thought I had a stroke the other day.
All
joints
seem to hurt. Anyway, that's a story for another day. You
Peter: also probably
ate like shit.
Gary: It wasn't horrible, but yeah, worse
than usual, yeah.
Yeah.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: Um,
however, Cameron, have you ever come
across,
like, a person
you don't even know-
Peter: Mm-hmm ...
Gary: that just
genuinely sort of just makes you happy?
Peter: Very rarely.
A
stranger in public?
Gary: Total stranger in public. Oh,
Peter: that's
very rare.
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: So there's this market at Folly Beach where we go in South Carolina, and it's called Burt's. It's an old... It's one of those [00:01:00] markets that you would see, like a
general store.
Okay. Kinda
like
you would
see it like on a, like a sitcom, like a, not
a sitcom, but like
an old TV show or
or something- Yeah ... you
It's pr- probably been there for whatever, you know, 100
years,
And it has,
a
a little bit
of everything inside
of it. You can get food there.
You
get,
like groceries. But if like you buy the toilet paper, like it's the last one.
Okay.
Peter: Okay.
Gary: You know what I
mean? Yeah. It's
it's got like a random jar
of nails.
Peter: Okay.
Gary: You
like if you need
nails,
like, you're just buying-
buying- It's
Peter: been
for a long time.
Gary: Yeah, you're just buying
this jar. Yeah. And that's what your nails are. You're not, you're not selecting all the different size nails. Like this is just
you're getting. Yeah. So
Yeah. So if there's a
hurricane coming,
this is your
jar of nails. There's your jar of
nails. Pay your jar of nails.
like good luck to you, right? And but it's a ni- you know, they have beer and wine, and we go there all the time. Like Caden
Yeah ... discovered
it the first year we went to Folly Beach, and we go there all the time. It's a great little market, and it's always...
It's 24 hours a day, seven days
a week,
365 days a year, and it literally never
closes. Wow.
Um,
can get free coffee
there. You can, you know, like all day long. The hot dogs are 79 cents if you want a
hot dog. How do
How do they
Peter: make any money?
Gary: They don't. Yeah. It's just,
like a loss
leader. It's...
Yeah. But anyway,
so it's a
great little market.
We [00:02:00] go there all the time. So we went there a bunch when we were on vacation this past time, and there's a kid who works there. He's gotta be in his early
Peter: Mm-hmm.
Gary: And
he's
clearly a surfer kinda dude,
Peter: Mm-hmm.
Gary: And he wears
like little
straw hat, right?
And,
and his blonde hair is coming out,
like the sides.
Mm-hmm. And anyway, he's
behind the counter, and he's
just
just
just drumming away. There's music behind
him.
Peter: And
Gary: he's just standing there at the register. He's waiting for the next person. He drums away, a big smile on his face. And he comes up, and then you come up. It's like your
turn. He's like,
"What's up, man?" Like- "
Peter: How
doing?
Gary: How
are you doing today?"
"What
a great day." Like, and
he like just like, uh, goes on
with you. He
Just,
He's like gives you your stuff,
and
he's just like, you know, it just makes you- Mm.
Like,
you can't help but, like, one, he's genuinely just a happy person.
He clearly loves the life that he's living.
Yeah. Right? Early
20s,
mid-20s, living in a surfer town, working at this little store. Probably finishes at like midday, goes surfing the rest of the day, hangs out with his buddies at night, starts the process over the next day. Yeah. He seems like he [00:03:00] literally couldn't be happier. Mm-hmm. It like comes off of him.
Like it makes you feel like good.
Peter: Yeah ...
Gary: and you can't
help but like sort of smile and feel good.
Peter: you
could feel if that was customer service-y, like, if that was whatsoever.
Gary: Totally. No, it's just him. Yeah. It totally is just him.
Just drumming away
to
the music, big
smile, like loves like he's like not bitching about being at
work. Mm-hmm.
not
grumpy.
He's not like being like, "Yo, what do you want? You
Oh, you want ice cream.
that
means
I have to do
extra work." You know, like, whatever. Yeah. Not that we got ice cream,
of course.
Peter: Yeah, right.
Gary: But anyway, I
I was just thinking like this kid is like a great example of just like a great way to like
live.
Peter: Mm-hmm.
Gary: Like try
Peter: to- Life
Gary: to- Life's
Peter: great
Gary: try to have that- Be more-
involved ... sort of impact
on the other people around you-
Like, all of the time.
Peter: Did
you,
Did you ask
him about any
of
Gary: No. Or was
Peter: it just, like, a-
Gary: No, that
place is, like, slamming business
it's
is slamming. He doesn't have
time for
doesn't have time for,
a philosophical
conversation. Hmm. But-
Peter: I,
I, I gu- I, I guarantee you, I,
I would bet that he has no
idea-
Know what? ... any of that.
Gary: No.
Peter: He was just being
himself. Just
Gary: himself.
Peter: And by, by being that way, [00:04:00] he happens to, like, exude, like, that, like, relaxation and confidence- Right ... and and-
and-
Gary: Like, he just makes everybody- ... carefree ... who goes in there and
interacts with him, I think they're happier because of it, like when they
leave. And I thought
that was,
like really
interesting.
I'm like, "Oh, I'm
wondering, I'm like...
I feel like most people after they interact with me are probably a little bit more miserable than
they were
they-
Peter: Not if you care, not if you care about people
Gary: before they started.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: What do you
think people are,
are after they, after they finish talking to you?
Either happier or less happy?
Peter: It depends on their relationship with me.
Gary: No, strangers.
Peter: Oh. I mean, I'm
cordial, but I'm not,
overly
friendly unless there's a reason to
be.
Gary: Yeah, I mean,
I've heard you on the phone with, like,
busine- like, um, whatever, customer service
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: You don't exude, like, happiness about it. Yeah,
Peter: because I'm a- because I'm annoyed
annoyed that I have to- You
Gary: go
into it-
Peter: Yeah,
sure.
Gary: Yeah, you go into it with sort of a
defensive- Mm-hmm
sort of like
tone about you. Like, why
Peter: do
I have
do this right now?
Gary: Yeah,
You're
You're annoyed
that you have to
the call. Yeah. But it's not that person's
Peter: Totally. Yeah.
Gary: Like,
they're just answering the phone for
you.
Peter: Yeah, it's never
about the other
person.
Gary: You of- It's about- But I, I don't[00:05:00]
you... Like, what happens if you go into like
like
like a store, like
a convenience
store or something?
What are you
like? I
Peter: generally hate shopping.
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: So are you grumpy? So
Peter: probably just... I'm not, I wouldn't say I'm grumpy. But I'm
not, like,
super excited. Just
let me- Kind of indifferent, yeah ... like, let me
pay you. Hi, how you doing?
Great.
Gary: Mm.
Peter: And the, and then that's it.
Gary: I wonder if
you could change that.
Peter: Yeah, I don't know.
Gary: What if the goal every day was to make all of the people
you encounter a little happier for
having met you, even in the brief-
Peter: Mm
Gary: that
they meet you?
You know what I mean? Like, you don't
to have a relationship with somebody to make them
happy.
Peter: Yeah, sure.
Gary: They could just have a really positive experience.
Like, I know some
people will do a thing, like
for instance, if you're going to Dunkin'
Peter: Mm-hmm.
Gary: And,
um, so you're getting a coffee or whatever, and there's like, I don't know, a person behind you waiting
in line.
Peter: Mm-hmm.
Gary: And you just say to the person, "Hey, I'm just, I'm gonna pay for their thing."
Peter: Mm.
Gary: Not
that you're... Not that paying for
something gonna make someone happier, but like
doing a
general, like
random act of
Peter: Yeah
Gary: sort of thing. But what if you took that approach to just sort of like, I can make... Without doing that, I can just [00:06:00] make somebody happy by
smiling,
by maybe being inquisitive about them.
Maybe just,
like being part of their like, you know, their
happiness
in some
Peter: I-
so I have never developed or practiced that skill. Like I need a relationship with you or a reason why we're
interacting-
Gary: Yeah ...
Peter: as opposed to, like, a random person in public.
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: For me, it just, yeah, it's, um-
Yeah, I don't know.
I've never developed
skill at all.
It's hard.
Gary: I think
it's interesting.
It's
Peter: challenging.
Gary: I think it's like a fun thing to do. And I don't mean random meaning like you're just walking by somebody on the sidewalk and you make a point to like make it awkward or
I mean, that's
nice,
too. Like, we, we joke all the time here- Yeah ... that the people in the hallway-
Peter: Mm ...
Gary: that we walk by every day, they often put their heads
Peter: because they're
heads down. Well,
trying
Gary: us. They're like avoiding us.
Peter: You
You know? They don't wanna interact. It's, like, silly.
Gary: So I don't mean
that. I don't mean, like,
stop somebody in
the hall. I
you
Peter: Are you... So are you wondering if
as a by, like by living that way, your, your world is better in general? Yeah. Right? Yeah. So
like
Gary: Cause like I said, he
seems like
one of the most- Yeah ... happy people,
right?
seems like nothing could bother this guy.
Well,
Peter: there's something like,
like the [00:07:00] being carefree is anti-anxiety, right?
Yeah. It's like the opposite of anxiety. It's the antithesis of
it.
Yeah,
Gary: and he works in customer
service.
Peter: Mm-hmm.
Gary: It's like most people in customer... Well, maybe that's a generalization. A lot of people in sort
That have
deal with people all
day
Peter: long- Mm-hmm
Gary: don't
act like that.
Peter: No,
totally not.
Gary: And we
generally don't feel better having,
like
having spoken to
Peter: with
them, like it's
annoying.
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: I think
that's probably part of it, right? Like my whole
life I'm just used to customer
service being painful.
Gary: Mm-hmm.
Peter: So I probably just go into it
with like, "I can't just wait to
get this over with.
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: And then therefore, then you develop that personality regardless of, like, who the
human is in front of
you.
Gary: Right.
Peter: So.
Gary: You
would
wonder, I wonder-
if I, if you're more aware of it, like anything else, you- the only
way to make
change is to be
it.
Peter: Mm-hmm.
Gary: So I wonder if you're more aware of your general interactions now, like next time you go into
whatever, the gas station, convenience store- Mm-hmm
something, I don't know
something, I don't know.
know.
to be like genuinely
kind and happy- Mm-hmm ... and
see how the
other person reacts to it.
Peter: I'm
sure it'd be great.
Gary: You know? Yeah.
Versus cordial. Transactional.
Transactional.
Peter: I hate transactional.
Gary: You know what I mean? 'Cause that's what it [00:08:00] is
of the time.
Peter: So,
so here's
what I noticed,
though, is, so I think there's this weird cycle.
Tr- okay.
I've thought about
this way more
than you
probably have any idea about, but,
like I've noticed this about myself
for a long,
long
time, and I actually hate it.
Like I hate that I'm cold and awkward in customer service situations.
customer
Gary: service situations. I it
all the time.
Peter: You watch me do
it?
Gary: Yeah, every time I watch
you g- like, make a phone call or listen, I'm sitting, like, in this room next to us here and you're on the phone.
I'm just like, "Why
does he have to be such an asshole?"
Peter: To, to customer service people?
Gary: Yeah,
just sound
cold.
Peter: I'm
an asshole, but I'm just like-
It's, but it's
it's very
Gary: There's a coldness to it.
Peter: Mm.
Gary: And, and
there's
sort of like a defensiveness as if, like, they're gonna, like...
If this, their goal is to kinda F you
over
Peter: Hmm ...
Gary: and, like, you're trying to catch them, '
Peter: cause it- 'Cause that's what it feels like in my experience-
Gary: times. I know. I know.
and you go
into it like that ...
Peter: service
is generally a very
negative
a
for me.
Yeah. Yeah. Um,
so I don't, so then
therefore, I don't know
how
much of that is on my end
or on their end.
Um-
Gary: Yeah, I wonder if you're creating that for
Peter: Hmm.
Gary: I wonder. I
[00:09:00] don't know.
Peter: Hmm.
Gary: all of us, not just you, just, um, we're talking about
but-
Peter: Yeah
Gary: know, I wonder if we create that by
going into it with that, whereas if we went into it the other way- Mm ... or any kind of interaction we have in any sort
scenario,
the kill them with
kindness
Peter: approach.
I
think it's often reinforced by
when I'm like, okay, and I'm, I'm like I try to practice it, right? I'm in, I'm in line,
and I'm gonna like, okay, when, when it's comes my turn to talk to
the person at the
register-
Gary: Yeah
Peter: I'm gonna be a different person, I'm
gonna be wicked
nice.
I think
when I've done that, I get met
with like the
essentially, like,
go fuck yourself.
Like, they don't want have, to have anything
do with what I'm trying
to do in that moment. Yeah. And then so I think that reinforces like, okay, so I'm not, you
know, what am I doing?
Gary: I
the difference with this kid is he doesn't give
Peter: Yeah ...
Gary: what
they, what you meet him with.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: No matter
what, he's just gonna be happy. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Like, he's just gonna
be drumming away- Yeah ... and
And he's
like, "It's
great
day," like,
sunny. I'm
It's good
Peter: to be 22 and carefree.
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: You know? Yeah.
Gary: Like,
I
don't know. Yeah.
But I wonder if there's like, if that,
at that
lack
of giving a shit- Mm ... [00:10:00] allows him
to, whether you bring it...
Whether you give it back to him or not, he does not let it deter
him.
Peter: Mm.
Gary: So I wonder if it was the same for us, if we just didn't care what the other person did back, and we just were happy hoping that our happiness would rub
off.
Peter: That's so hard though, right?
Yeah. 'Cause it's like,
it's almost not human. Like,
we, we, we so
instinctively, um, react
to each other's energy- Yeah ... that like you're right, right? If I'm coming into a situ- or to a social situation cold, then that person's gonna feel my energy, and they're probably
gonna mirror it.
Gary: Right.
Peter: Um, yeah, so. And
Gary: we get what we,
we-
Peter: You tend, yeah ... I mean- You tend, you tend to get back at you
what you give off into the
world.
Gary: Right.
Peter: For sure.
Gary: Anyway, something to
think
Peter: Mm.
Gary: I just noticed it. I thought it would be cool to talk about
it.
Peter: Mm.
Gary: I,
I don't, I, you don't run across too many people that are just unconditionally... I'm sure this person has bad
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: I ran across
But
Peter: those were
his
mo- th- those moments were the ones that
were the ones
resonated
Gary: like four different days I saw
him- Yeah
and he was the exact same
person every single time. And I said, "Well, this [00:11:00] is just an ac- a- an accident. He's not just having a good day." Mm-hmm. "The, like, one good day. Like, this is just who this kid
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: Yeah. And I thought I learned something from
it. Mm. And you're like, you know, how do you make
someone's day better without really trying? 'Cause he wasn't really
Peter: Yeah, it comes from within.
Gary: And he literally just did it 'cause he's happy.
Peter: Mm-hmm.
Gary: And
he was exuding his own happiness and just trying to make you happy in return with, like,
smiling
and drumming
and, like, asking you about your day.
Peter: Yeah. "Are
Gary: you having a, are you enjoying
beautiful day?" He would say stuff like that, you know? It was just
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: And then you don't have a, you don't, you can't help it but like, "Yes, I am. Like, yes, I am. Thank you for, like, pointing it out to me." Yeah. "Yes,
it's 90
degrees
sunny, and I'm in South Carolina with my family."
Like, "Yes, I'm enjoying this beautiful
day.
Peter: You
enjoyed your family vacation?
Gary: I actually did
enjoy it for the most
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: Except for the first
day.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: Where
struggled to- It was a hard journey ... where I struggled to go onto the vacation. "What am I supposed to
do here?
Peter: You know,
we never really talked fully about your vacation, but I guess that's for another time.
Gary: Another
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: Yeah, we should get into the show, which is kind of similar. This is a similar concept to this show. So, uh, you've heard the concept, and we've talked about this on prior [00:12:00] shows, maybe in our former
podcast,
Yeah ... about y- you know, you
are the, uh, culmination, so to speak, of the five people you spend the most time
with
Peter: most time with.
Mm-hmm.
Gary: that's something that I'm always thinking about. I know you think about
too, right?
Surround yourself with good people, people that have similar values and maybe goals in life or whatever, that you're more likely to then do
things. I'm
Peter: pretty ruthless
Yeah. 'Cause
Yeah
follow that rule, and I'm like, "If you're a
negative
consistently,
boy, bye."
Gary: Get the hell out of here, right? And it, and it holds true for, like, a lot of things, right? Like, if you're
If you hang out with
smokers, you're more likely to smoke.
you hang
with drinkers, you're more likely to drink. If you
hang out with
people- It affects- ... who are fit, like- ... all
Peter: the things.
Gary: You're more likely to wanna, like, or to
practice, like, healthy habits, right?
So it affects everything.
If you hang
with readers,
you're more
likely to
read.
right?
And so then I was thinking about that
and I was like,
yeah,
like, this seems like
for
a lot of people would apply to their social media feed
Peter: Yeah, obviously
Gary: Right?
Peter: Yeah, but like way worse and way more immediate.
Gary: So, so I'm
thinking like
[00:13:00] should there
be or should we- Mm-hmm ... and this is like a thought experiment, and like I thought we would go through it a little bit together.
Like,
Like
curate...
or can
you curate your, your
feed? Because
let's just...
This is part of our lives. Like, it's
not going away. Like everybody... You can minimize it. You don't do it, use it a
Peter: version is I don't go on it- You don't go
Gary: don't go on it ...
Peter: because I don't wanna be exposed to
Gary: But that's like rare, like rare, rare for the most part, right? Most people they're, they have some interaction with social media every week, one of
the platforms. Can you curate the feed
to help
you accomplish the things-
Peter: Hmm ...
Gary: in life
that maybe you're working on, right?
So for instance, if you're trying to
lose
Peter: Mm-hmm
Gary: If you're
trying to get more fit,
if you're trying to read more, if you're trying... W-
whatever the thing is that you are
trying to do that is a, um, a better version, like a, an improvement upon your current situation. Yeah. Can you work to... Can
we use this
to our advantage?
Rather than viewing it as like a negative, like it's always
Peter: Yeah ...
Gary: can we
[00:14:00] purposely curate the feed to essentially make it the five people we spend the most time with so
that when we do go on and we- And so
Peter: your five topics
Gary: five topics ... and we doom scroll. Yes. Mm-hmm. We pick the five topics. We purposely follow in those five things, and I'll let you kind of explain what those five things are 'cause I think you have a good version of this in general.
Mm.
We purposely pick
people or things in those things that then when we scroll for the hour that we're scrolling- Ah ... that all we're seeing is like
people loving and reading
books, or people who are eating
healthy food,
or people...
Do
Do you ever think about this?
Peter: With
social media
in particular?
Gary: Like, can
can we use it to our ben-
So it's, it's like, like anything
else, it's
like people wanna
complain about social media. Yeah.
Oh, it's so evil and it's killing, you know, their children or, you
I
Peter: I
have some thoughts as you... Yes.
Gary: But,
but can we, rather than do
the thing
which what most people say is the solution, but I don't think it's
solution 'cause it's not gonna go away-
is get off, yeah ... which is get off of it altogether.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: [00:15:00] Right? It's almost impossible, right? And it's just not
feasible
to think
that all of a sudden all
of humanity is gonna ditch social
Peter: It's
that.
Gary: can...
rather than try to fight
against it- ... can we use it for good?
Peter: Uh,
so-
s-
So
So
I'm
wondering, and I, I, I,
I totally understand what you're saying. I'm also wondering
if it's actually
possible because of the way that your algorithm is curated, in the sense that
like-
you know how like, um, if you are scrolling at a certain rate, let's say it's
like-
Mm-hmm
two frames a second- Yeah ... and you're going through it.
If you slow down as something catches your eye to like half a frame a second- Yeah ... and then you c- but you still keep
Gary: Right ...
Peter: it'll then
give
you another version- Right ... of that.
Gary: See
you slow
down again.
Peter: And then that seems ... So that seems
unavoidable because that's more, like, instinctual about what you like.
You, you literally
can't stop that. Yeah. So you have to be intentional about...
I, I don't,
to be honest, I don't know. You'd have to be, you'd have to know exactly what it is that affects the algorithm's [00:16:00] behavior.
Gary: Right.
Peter: And then I agree. I
mean, obviously like, right, you, you could search for, you could like write down a list and say, "Okay, these are the top five things that I'm interested in knowing about."
You could search for them, right? Yeah. And then like go click on those things more often, and then
like- Yeah, you start to-
to- ... you
get
things then more
often.
Gary: You try to trick the
Peter: But how do you get rid of the, like ... How do you get
rid
of the things that you can't
avoid? Like, all of those, like, basic biological instincts.
Like, what is it for men? Like, you're gonna see, like, you
Gary: Scantily
Peter: clad ladies ... a woman in yoga pants- Yeah. ... and a sports
bar- ... and it's like,
you're
Speaker 5: trying
Peter: not to look- Oh, yeah ... but it's like you slow down. Don't slow down. Yeah. Just keep going.
Gary: sp-
Peter: And then like, oh, I know, and he went, "This is a
guy.
So
I don't know how you avoid that
shit.
So,
Gary: I
think, I mean, just based on my
interaction with it, it seems to heavily skew towards what it, like what you, like you said. So the, the start is to purposely slow down and/or click- Yeah
on the things that you, that are positive for you, right? So, so-
Peter: So wouldn't
you just get off the feed and use the search function?[00:17:00]
Like, wouldn't that be a
better
of it? No,
Gary: it? No, because the feed is like entertainment still, right? For
instance-
Peter: Most
definitely entertainment ...
Gary: so let's, let's use
as like a thing. My, my wife,
Jessica- Yeah
her feed is almost
entirely food. For,
Peter: for
for
somebody who weighs 100 pounds- Yeah ... God, she's obsessed with food.
Gary: but
one could imagine that if your feed was entirely food, and let's just say it's not... 'Cause most of the times it's not.
one of her favorite, like it's
like a married couple.
They make like
great variations of like almost, I
know if it's like, it's almost like Taco
Bell-type things.
They, they make like a
crunchwrap.
Okay. Like this amazing like Crunchwrap, which is like tortillas with the beef. You know, you make it on a griddle. They do a lot of different things on griddles, I
I
I think.
But they make... So it's not really healthy, right? It's kind of healthy. It's not horrible. It's ground beef and
And like, but there's, there's
obviously tortillas, and there's cheese, and there's like whatever.
Yeah.
a
a
lot of the stuff that they
is like,
looks amazing.
Yeah. And
they make these
like kebabs, and they make like different,
you know, whatever, but they're like not super healthy. Like, I think the one they made was like...
I forget exactly
what it was. It was like, it was like a
[00:18:00] ground
beef like
kebab. They
a
lot of
with ground beef. It was like a ground beef kebab where it was like each lay- each thing was like sliced. You cut it, and I don't- Right ... I don't... Anyway, my point is, is rather than follow those people- Yeah ... right, or slow down on those things, maybe she follows a salad channel or something.
something.
You know? Yeah. I
know ... I
don't know.
But, or like I'm sure there's people out there, there's probably a lot of them, that it's like healthy versions of like everything, right? Like this is like... Or
if you're trying to do, maybe
you're trying to get more protein, or you're trying to whatever, but you just focus on that, and you purposely like watch that one, and then you watch another, and you watch another, and you slow down on that.
And then maybe the, the Crunchwrap people come, and you go past it
quick.
Peter: You would
have to be so intentional about
feed, dude.
I, yeah.
Gary: For a little while.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: And then I think at some point it
just
start
being
you, there would be less of the,
now it
knows you're not interested
in
the Crunchwrap
people,
and it would just like-
Peter: Until you start
doing
the Miles thing and then Boom's gonna
frame and
like, "Ah, scroll, scroll, scroll,
scroll."
Gary: you're like,
you're for the front-
Peter: just, it's so annoying because it's like,
because what- But, but- 'Cause what it is- But-
what, [00:19:00] what I think that you can't avoid
is these like-
Gary: They know you're
Peter: a instinctual
things-
that,
like you prototypically
prototypically, like,
Yeah,
Gary: yeah. Like meta knows- Those are people I like better
You start getting annoyed by that ... like if you're a man or a woman.
They
know if you're, what
you are.
Peter: know what age you are,
Yeah. They
know your- They know what things that you're
most likely interested
in.
Gary: So I-
Peter: And they
feed
Gary: that to you ... to some degree. Yeah. It's stupid But I think we can still do it. So like let's, for instance, like
the
things that
you would wanna unfollow, right, would be things that make you mad.
Peter: Yes.
Gary: Right?
sure. So for you,
it would be like
news, right? You get annoyed, like you don't like, like the news of, of just people being shot,
Peter: Yeah,
Gary: just don't want to negative information. It's negative, right? So things that give you anxiety, things that make you mad. Yeah. Thing- things that, for instance, like I don't understand
why I would care about somebody else's
vacation.
Peter: Sure, I
either
Gary: Right? Only- Some
Peter: people love that shit.
Gary: But no, they don't. No? No. It's only- Some people
Peter: do
Gary: they, it's only to make themselves feel bad about themselves.
"Why
aren't I on vacation?"
Peter: I mean,
Gary: that's-
are...
Peter: That's not why they're
looking ...
Gary: like,
But it, that's what happens.
Peter: I mean- You know
Gary: know what I mean?
It's like comparison is, is the thief of joy. If I'm, if I'm... [00:20:00] Now
I just
finished my vacation. Maybe I don't go on another
one for a year.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: But I get to o- two months
now, and I see Peter is posting about being in Aruba or
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: Like,
" Oh,
man, like why? I
wish... How is it..." You
don't just think-
Peter: don't think it gives peop- some people
inspiration?
Gary: No. I think the
thought is like, "Why aren't I in Aruba?"
It's not like they're wa- looking at the people's Aruba vacation pics and being like,
"Oh, wow. That's amazing. Good for
them. I'm so happy
them, they get to go to..." That's not
happening.
Peter: I'm just a hot
take. I'm
sure there are some people that do that, too.
Gary: I
that hard to
Peter: believe. That's-
Gary: It's usually the opposite.
It's like, "Oh, look at
at th-" you
know ...
Peter: jealousy?
Gary: Yeah. I feel like
the only reason
you're posting it is to tr-
tr- to try to get people to be jealous of
you
Like, right? Like
Peter: why
would you do that? Maybe you don't even know you're
doing
because of that, but
sure, like the underlying is like, "Hey,
look at me."
Gary: Look at me.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: That's the only reason you post anything. "Look at me."
Peter: That's why.
Gary: Like whatever.
Peter: I kind of
Gary: like it. Yeah. I know, I
want anyone... That's why I
That's why I don't post anything.
Yeah. I think it's been like years since- Yeah ... I've actually posted something that wasn't work-related. Yeah. But when we do it
work related,
we're saying, "Hey, look
at us." Yeah,
sure. That's
the whole
point. Yeah, yeah. It's marketing, right? Yeah, that's
Peter: true.
Gary: But [00:21:00] anyway, so, so things, you know, anger,
jealousy, negativity.
Anything that's like a trigger
for you.
Peter: Mm-hmm.
Gary: Right?
for instance, for me, like I
have a sweet tooth.
If I'm following like all
things
Peter: Yeah
Gary: the chances that I'm gonna want some candy after scrolling are probably pretty high, or ice cream or whatever, even if it's like people making homemade versions of
Peter: So you're bringing this up because you're, it seems to me like you're saying that like your social media feed will probably influence behavior
or will influence
like your
or- I
Gary: we need to view the social media feed- Or- ... as another person in our life.
Peter: Mm-hmm.
Gary: Much like-
Peter: And what is it, what is it
giving you?
What is it making you think about? What behaviors are you... Yeah. Yeah. How
Yeah.
Gary: Like, mentally kwestion. And can we use it
for our advantage? Yeah. So for instance, like you have, uh, your pillars.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: So, so what are your, your pillars of sort of wellness, if you will, or,
Peter: Yeah
Gary: the things
that you pay the most attention
to, what are
Peter: I mean, so the four is going to be what am I, like what am I putting in my body, or like the food and
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: how am I moving well, exercise and physical activity, the people I spend my time with, and am I sleeping [00:22:00] well?
Gary: Right.
Peter: And
if you can do those four things well on a consistent basis, then you tend to live a pretty happy, healthy
life.
Gary: Right. So let's take
those pillars,
and let's, let's follow somebody.
Peter: Okay.
Gary: So for health and wellness, clearly you're gonna follow Whole
Health
Peter: Obviously.
Gary: Obviously.
Obviously. No, but you could follow, like give some other
examples,
maybe like Alex Hormozi.
Peter: Mm-hmm.
Gary: I mean, not
Hormozi. No. Sorry.
Uh, Andrew Huberman- Mm-hmm ... for
like
like health and wellness, maybe. He's a little boring, but whatever. Maybe like, who else? Like, or things or,
I
Peter: don't follow
people.
Gary: try to
follow people on social media. No, I know. But like, you
like
just try to think
of people that you
know
of
in your sphere of health and wellness, like exercise people.
Um, like in physical therapy there's Kelly Starrett who's like, um, who is the, what they, what's his thing called? Like the movement something or
Peter: He's like the,
the... Ah, so his, brand-
Gary: Mobility Wod ...
Peter: is Supple Leopard.
Gary: Supple Leopard, like mobility. So that's like mobility and stretching and whatever.
There's probably people-
Peter: Yeah. So
a
with. Yeah. So as a physical
therapist, you could follow people in your field that you respect that are into, you know, strength training or mobility
or-
Gary: so for us, like Eric Cressey or Mike [00:23:00] Reinhold or
or like, you know, some stuff,
people like that. Of course
Peter: Give you ideas for your
your clients.
Gary: so like depending on what kind of business you're in, maybe there's really good... Like I mentioned, uh, Hormozi a little bit earlier. Maybe if you're a business person or you own your own business or you're a marketing person, like he's a great person to follow to learn things about that. So like that, stuff like that.
For sleep
it would be, like uh, what's his name? Matthew Walker- Mm-hmm ... who wrote a book
Peter: Yeah, you know
Gary: about sleep. Right.
But
like he's an example or you could look up other authors who have written books about, about sleep. I'm sure they all
have-
Peter: Yeah ...
Gary: themes. Something to
Peter: offer, yeah.
Gary: right?
Um, for things like
nutrition-
any idea?
You gotta follow, you gotta
get-
Peter: I follow nobody
Gary: I gotta get... Yeah, but again, you know people, like 'cause you, you listen to a lot of podcasts.
Peter: Yeah,
I guess.
Um,
it's primarily... So if I'm listening to podcasts,
primarily around business.
Yeah. I don't listen to any of this stuff
in my own
personal-
Gary: So boring.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: But maybe, like, Brian,
It all
Brian-
Peter: It just
Gary: comes
my head We mentioned Brian Johnson
like
Peter: Yeah,
interesting. I like him. He [00:24:00] gets too much of a bad rap, but I think that, I think that he's putting out good in the world.
Yeah. Um, I think most of
his advice is actually pretty
good.
Gary: I,
I think like Tim Ferriss- Mm-hmm
is interesting from a health perspective. He does a lot of research in health. He gets into some weird stuff sometimes, but like he's, he's usually on like the forefront of the things that are like happening. Mm-hmm. Um, Peter Attia.
Mm-hmm.
Peter: I just follow Arnold
Schwarzenegger and, like, a bunch of my- Yeah,
friends. Yeah,
Gary: but
like listen, Schwarzenegger
would
be a great place to start because he probably has a ton of like, if you go
to his thing and go to who he's following-
Peter: Yeah ...
Gary: and you look and
it's like these different bodybuilders, like you probably get a million different exercise,
like,
Peter: too,
'cause he's a really smart guy, like obviously, and he, he have, he has a lot of practical advice when it comes to mindset, business, and just generally being
a good person, you know?
Gary: Yeah. And so I
think it's, like,
find those people. I think everybody probably in their own, uh, little way on most of their feeds, they probably have a few of these people sprinkled in already.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: Because I think most people
want
to Like do different things differently in their [00:25:00] life? Like at
least- Yeah, most people want to be better ... at least one area. Yeah.
right?
They wanna, maybe wanna be a better
parent. So,
so seek
out,
uh, I think authors are always a great place
to
start. Yeah. Right? In the sense that- Even
Peter: if you don't read
Gary: it ... they've done research, they've written a book. So maybe you type in like books on, you know, top bestsellers
on parenting.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: And then you find that person's name, and then you go find their feed.
Yeah. And then from that feed you'll get other people coming in, and maybe you'll get some good parenting advice. And if you don't like the advice, maybe it's, maybe
it
doesn't f- you know,
serve you and you don't like their style, you find somebody else.
You
Peter: know?
Gary: It's probably a great place
place
Peter: to start. There's also this thing that
you can
do on social media
where
can,
reset your
algorithm so that- You
Gary: can?
Peter: Yeah.
So you, you, you reset it so it starts as
if it's a fresh account.
Gary: How
do you do that?
Peter: I don't know, but my brother
showed it to me- ... and he makes it sound so cool right now.
Th-
now. Th-
there's, it's in the settings, and it's actually hidden. So that's what you wanna hear. And he had to
go five clicks
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: And then like you reset it.
Yeah. And then it starts
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: So you can, like if you're in [00:26:00] like
this, like, wicked negative, like,
feedback loop and your alg- algorithm- Yeah ... has turned to shit, you can I
Gary: feel like that was important information that you were holding onto.
Peter: Yeah,
I was
waiting.
Oh. 'Cause I didn't
how to
start with
Gary: Like that's super
Peter: He showed it to
me literally on a vacation. He's like,
like, "Once a week I reset my
algorithm because, like, sometimes I just find that, like,
a lot of nonsense has accumulated."
Gary: Right ...
Peter: and then I reset it."
Gary: Yeah, but whose fault is the nonsense?
his. He's slowing
down
Peter: everybody. That's what I'm saying. But, like, it's un- dude,
I'm
telling you, that's... Like, this is the insidious thing that I don't know.
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: Like, I've no- I've never done
experiment.
I'd be curious.
You should definitely run this experiment
next week and see if you-
Gary: Yeah ...
Peter: do,
Yeah. Like
reset your shit. Reset it. See what happens. Reset your shit, and then intentionally
only find the things, like maybe sit down ahead
of time.
"Hey, these are the topics I wanna follow." Find those topics, and then create more
of those
in your feed and see
what happens to your feed. See
Gary: what happens.
with you. See what happens. I'll do it with,
um...
I'll
try it. Well, I won't
do it with our work
one.
because the only Instagram one I go on is our work one.
Peter: cause otherwise you'd have to log out and go to your
personal one. Yeah,
Gary: it's like two [00:27:00] or three. Would you like do that? I do use, uh,
Twitter or
X- Yeah ...
Peter: as
Gary: it's
it's now known.
Peter: I of some people- 'Cause the one I used-
that only
have like puppies and kittens on their feed 'cause that's all they click
on.
Gary: I had shut off X for a little while. Remember we had talked about it on one of the shows. Yeah. I
I shut
it off, I deleted it
from my phone.
But what I realized is what I like from that particular feed, I don't use it a ton, is, is the news
I get from it, specifically around hockey.
Like for my son- Mm ... and who's, uh, you know, who is o- on his path with college hockey and junior
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: I
kinda learn about... My most of that feed, I'd say 90% of
feed-
Peter: X?
Gary: it, uh, for me, for my personal one on X, is all geared towards like
what's
happening in the world
of, like,
Peter: That's where you get your hockey news.
Gary: My
hockey news. Like, so the,
different
rules that
have been
passed in terms of like eligibility rules. There's different people
committing to different schools. Yeah.
There's people getting draft... Whatever it
is, I get my hockey news
from
But of course, that's not the only thing
gets on
Yeah. The feed gets
Peter: Yeah
Gary: you know, with other stuff. So maybe I'll look into reset it to find a way to reset
feed. You should.
And then see what happens. See what it
organically- Yeah, come
Peter: up with a plan ...
Gary: [00:28:00] trend. Or I could probably
go
on my personal
Instagram, to be honest with you,
Peter: You should be the one that does this. So why don't you... Do you agree to that? So next week res- so find a way to
Gary: I'll reset one of them.
Peter: And then
See what happens ... let's see
what happens. Yeah.
But be
about it.
Gary: Wait, should I
be
intentional
pick
the
things I want? Or
should I just see
what Instagram
thinks I'm interested in?
I
do-
Peter: a good
No, so
it starts- ...
Gary: try to do this ... I,
Peter: I what,
like yes, that's what I'm saying. So what it, what it'll do is you'll reset it-
Gary: Yeah ...
Peter: and it will reset to the el- Like, it'll reset to, like, your 40, you know- Yeah, my, my demographic ... whatever you're male, your demographics.
demo- your demographics.
Gary: yeah.
Peter: So
you still have to feed it what you
want, or else it'll start giving you things like, "Hey, you're balding," or, "Hey, you need TRT," or like,
How does it
Gary: know all this
Peter: I know
here's a bikini." You know, that's what it'll do.
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: All right. So I'll reset my
then-
personal Instagram. Yeah. And then I'll start to
follow some of the people. So I think the areas that I'll look into is like health and wellness.
Um,
there's, like,
mindset, I love mindset stuff. Authors for sure, like books, reading, whatever, just in general. Um, we
nutrition,
[00:29:00] exercise,
um-
probably parenting. I can still parent, you know, I still, like my
are-
Peter: You're gonna be a parent forever, buddy ...
Gary: my
are old, but I could probably follow
that. Um,
what else?
Anything else? I like
Peter: Mine, so mine would
be- Yeah ... mine would be, um...
See, it's just so funny. Like, I don't seek any of this information out. May- maybe I'm being, like, an arrogant bastard, but,
like, I don't really feel like I need
hear you
talk about nutrition. Like I feel
like I know what I'm talking
about, you
Gary: You can always
learn.
Peter: I guess I can always learn.
Gary: mean, you're not perfect.
perfect.
Peter: I'm not... No,
Gary: I know. I mean, we
And we just
how you're an asshole to all the customer service
Peter: I'm not an asshole.
Gary: You
could learn something
that.
Peter: That's rude.
What I would probably follow is technique-based
physical therapy, like people that I respect. What you... What are you
saying?
Gary: Your feed will be so
boring.
You guys... It's true.
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: It's
true. You should do- wait, you should do
it on
your personal feed. We'll
both do it and see what
Peter: happens. It would be, it would- That would mean I'd have to go on my personal feed- That's true
which I don't even do.
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: Yeah, it would
be stuff around
philosophy. I think, I think philosophy is the [00:30:00] most attractive to me because- Yeah ... 'cause you know why? 'Cause here's why. Because it feels like there is an
infinite amount of ways in which you
think about the world.
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: And way in which you think directly affects your lived experience.
And
so like, boy, like
that's, like, infinite. Like, I love to get new ideas. Like,
I have never thought about the
world that way. Let me try it, and it
instantly affects behavior. Yeah. That's fun as shit.
Gary: That
was my point of the opening story about the kid behind the Yeah,
Peter: yeah.
yeah. I-
Gary: He's one of the only people I've ever seen that,
approaches-
the world like that, that outwardly, clearly, like, this is just, like, the
the way
he approaches the world, just
Peter: Life,
Life,
I genuinely believe, like, whether or not... Like, so from a science perspective, like, this is a chair, right? That's a camera.
But, but regardless of what objective reality says, it really only matters how I believe it, like, and think about it.
Like, really, like in terms of the way that it affects my personal, like,
outlook on life.
Gary: Yeah.
Peter: it doesn't
matter what objective reality
is,
you can curate your world
to be exactly the way that you want to live in it. You just have to think
that way
Gary: Right. [00:31:00] And
Peter: that's what ph- that's what philosophy is.
Gary: Right.
And I think we can curate our feed-
Peter: Yeah, that would
nice ...
Gary: shoot,
try to complement
that. I
Peter: agree. So then,
so then- That's it,
Gary: And just
yeah
Peter: because you have much more
And try
experience with social media than me- Yeah
which compared to the people probably listening to this is very limited, if it's
Yeah.
only two old
men
in a room. Uh,
would love to hear if you, if it's even possible, uh, with your intention to do
Gary: Yeah, I think it's certainly difficult, but I think it's worth doing. Yeah, agreed. And rather
than just sit back and, like, be a victim of social
media, which is what I feel like a lot of people are
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: think that it's really realistic. Like, I know, like, a lot of parents are like, "Not gonna give my kids a phone, and they're not gonna have social media," blah, blah, blah. At some point- Yeah ... whether your kid has a phone or not, they're on social media. They're gonna maybe looking
at their
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: They could be looking at something. They're not, like, not doing it. Right? Yeah. And at some point, they're gonna get their own phone, and at some point, they're gonna be on it. You know
what I
I mean? And so
it's, like, rather than
reas- you know, fight
against this world that we currently live in- No
it's like, well, let's use it to
our advantage.
What's the best way?
if possible, right? What is the best way to, to, to do And when I-[00:32:00]
Peter: I'm running an experiment right now. I just gave my 16-year-old like basically access
to Instagram.
on Snapchat- Yeah
like, you know, six months
ago.
Gary: Yeah. And
Peter: it's just
yeah,
let's see, I mean- See what happens
Yeah ... 'cause I'm not
It's just like, it's
just like,
it's just like anything else.
sh- you know,
when she's an adult, at
some point she'll get it, and then what? So it's
okay.
Gary: Yeah. It's
like, okay. Right. It's like not allowing your kids to swear ever, thinking that they're not doing it when they get on the bus like two seconds later.
Yeah. You know? Like, they're F-bombing all over the place, you know. And then they
home, and you're like, "Oh, don't you
say that in this house."
Peter: But you're doing
it everywhere else.
Gary: You're
doing
it everywhere else. You're just,
like
living,
this dual
Peter: Yeah.
Gary: Um, anyway, all right.
Well, I'll,
I'll
work on that,
and
then we'll revisit it on a future episode and see what
But-
Peter: sounds good.
Gary: I think it can be done, and I think it's important,
much like the people in your life that you surround yourself with, I think this is
one of
those people.
I think it has to be. It's
Peter: unavoidable. Yeah.
Gary: I think we have to view social media as another person in our
Peter: Mm-hmm ...
Gary: and try
to make it a positive
one.
Peter: I like this
conversation. It was fun.
Gary: All right. All right,
Peter: everybody.
Gary: Until
next time.
Peter: Peace.
Gary: Bye.
Peace. Bye.